Episode 065: "Professional Sleeper"

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1:16Well, something that I am getting into or I'm in the mood for, and yes, it's seasonal. First of all, hello. Let's just say hello. Hello, hello, hello. Coming right in with a seasonally appropriate fixation that I haven't had in years. Baking. Oh, wow. Baking. The way it comes for you in winter and the way that in summer I start throwing things out going, I'm never going to use a springform pan. I just bought a springform pan for the first time. It's arriving tomorrow. That's so funny. I literally donated one mere days ago. God damn it. Fuck me. And then, by the way, I also bought a tart pan. I had it with a removable bottom.

1:54I had one of those at my old place. I think I truly, in a fit of rage, of moving rage, threw it away because I was like, I used this once in New York and never again. and just bought another one stainless steel. They've got lots of the nonstick. I go, I'm too scared of nonstick. Can't do it because I'm planning on making, well, first of all, and I, for the subscribers, I will show photos. I made an unbelievable, it's an Alison Roman recipe, of course, a double crust blueberry ginger pie. Astonishing. And her pie crust is so, you know, that's the one I made it. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it either.

2:26And I was texting you, Jacqueline, because the sense of accomplishment and I go, oh, right. you hear this right it's meditative baking and i was listening to um let's just say a kabbalah podcast and the woman was like you know when i'm overwhelmed i just start baking and i was like interesting you know i you know that was one of those things you always hear that for whatever reason but she's good yeah yeah like when the world doesn't make sense i turn to the teaspoons and the tablespoons the precision of the baking you know you put in a certain ingredient you get And I did it once in a state of extreme sort of agitation, depression at my parents' house so many years ago.

3:06And I was like, I was up late and I'm like, okay, and took what I had and started doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And felt sort of satisfied. I think if I remember correctly, I went up to my mom and woke her up. You can breed frustration too. To taste it. amazing i can't remember if i woke her up to taste it or she just or i thought about it and so the image lives in my head and then she tasted the next day but she notably like to me i couldn't believe that it turned out at all like that a cake had formed yeah yeah and she tasted it and was like clearly not impressed okay like she's not some cake baker right yeah but she was like Like, I don't know if she came right out and said it, but it was like essentially that it was really dense.

3:57And, you know, she wasn't wrong. I was just sort of taking it for what it was. And I think she was like, you know, I just like really love like just a classic yellow cake, you know, kind of vibe. And so that was my like dense white cake. I've never made a cake cake. I've never made like a double layer like birthday cake. I've never done that. The pie though, I go, this could be huge for me, pies. And then I saw a new life. Pie I could get into. I make pie. I make pie. Because I love pie. And as soon as I made that pie, I wanted to make it immediately again. And I go, oh, the technique for the dough.

4:30And then I'm going to be making a tart. I don't want my partner to hear good girl for their birthday. Good girl. What fruit. They love chocolate and raspberry. So I'm doing a chocolate. It's also an Alison Roman recipe. be. What a delicious combination. Am I right? A chocolate tahini tart. No. You can have sesame seeds, right? Yeah. No, my nose was excitement. Oh yeah. I knew that. I got scared for a second. And then I'm actually, I'm going off course and I'm adding raspberries on top. Because how could that not be good? It can't go wrong. Right. You go off course and it's your own special. Oh, I know.

5:07Going off course. So I'm going to be doing that. And yeah, just baking. I've just been in a goddamn... It's like the capers, no? Cooking. The capers. The capers were off course, right? That was off course. That was off course. I cooked for Jacqueline. It's based on an Alison Roman, but I threw in the fried capers just because it's a little something I love to do. Well, what I did was that, because they were salt-packed capers, which I've always been terrified of. I go, what? And the woman... And I still am unclear on how that arises. Is it in a jar? Yeah, it's in a jar with salt, so no liquid.

5:38Shout out to McCall's. Shout out to Patrick at McCall's. I want to take a minute with this, with the community. McCall's, for those of you unfamiliar, it's a specialty butcher food shop market in Atwater Village here in Los Angeles. And I had developed a community experience with Patrick, the cheesemonger there. I would go in, we'd chat, he'd bring me a slice of cheese. It was heaven, okay? This was amazing. And then I'm in there, New Year's Eve day, I'm looking at produce. I feel a tap. I turn around to Patrick. He goes, today's my last day at McCall's. He hands me cheese on a cracker. I go, Patrick, no, I'm going to miss you.

6:09Oh no, I've always loved talking to you and he goes i've always loved talking to you and i have to say i've always really appreciated your passion for cheese i mean do you not weep at the threshold and and i just was like and but shout out i believe he said his instagram he was like he was like um la cheesemonger thank god so check him out patrick on instagram la cheesemonger folks i've been off instagram for weeks trying to heal my brain it's a whole separate episode a monger is obviously the guy managing and selling them yet i feel like people always use monger to mean like hound for Or like, oh, I love cheese.

6:42I'm a cheesemonger or something. Right, right, right. Do you know what I mean? He's a cheesemonger. And I had, what's funny is that I had met him like at a restaurant. He was talking about cheese. He was like a server at a restaurant talking about cheese boards. And then it was like eight months later or something. He's at McCall's and I go, I know you. And he goes, I used to do the cheese. You know, it was anyway. Point is, it was an incredible community. Point is, Kate's out there in the market stalls, as you say. I'm out there with the merchants. Okay, she's hunched a basket in the crook of her elbow.

7:10darting and diagonals towards various items, touching them, going, oh. Yeah. But back to the at McCall's, I go, do you have capers? I can't find them. She hands me. She goes, over here. I go, oh, no, salt packed. I go, I don't know. I start going, oh, I don't know. It seems hard. She goes, all you have to do is rinse them. I go, really? I don't know. It seems hard. She goes, it's really not. And I kind of laugh. She kind of laughs. She's like, it's really not. I go, oh, okay. And then I look up online, salt packed. And I didn't realize this, but the whole thing about the salt-packed caper is that you rinse them, you vigorously dry them so there's no water on them.

7:46So then you can, in a hot oil pan, set them aflame. Not aflame, but... Right, and they're not steaming. They're not steaming. They're frying. They're crisping up. And now I go, well, this is a revolution and this is me the rest of my life. Now, is a caper in a regular jar, right? So it's soaked through with liquid and... It's pure brine. Yes. So... So ostensibly, sure, you could, I guess, dry those off, but that's going to be a fucking chore. And also the salt-packed ones have like feathery skin. Like they're bigger and there's more skin coming off of them that's crisp. Yeah, something is going on that's very different.

8:22I crisped a whole jar and threw them on top of, again, this is an Alison Roman episode, Alison Roman's secret ingredient pasta. This is the second time I've made it and Jacqueline agreed. Second time I've enjoyed it. Heaven. And it was better. and the little things that you do when you get used. I again tried to do a bastardized version in the instant pot the next night. You did try? But you did try? I did try. I mean, a very bastardized version because it's essentially, what am I doing? I'm doing onions. I'm doing the tomatoes. I'm doing, you know. And then, you know, of course I go, wait, capers aren't in the original recipe.

8:55Oh my God. Holy shit. Now I'm doing the caper. You know, but what else did I do? Well, I have to also say, this is one ingredient, specialty ingredients at McCall's, which again, I love, but I go, sundried tomatoes. They have a jar of sundried tomatoes. Hold your breath. $24. I go, no. A small jar? No, no, no. And again, because they're beautifully imported, whatever. You have such restraint. It's so interesting, your restraint. So I go, no, I'm not doing this. And then I get the$9.99 jar. And by the way, they're fantastic. Yeah. So wait, jar, what are they in? What are they in? In oil. Oil-packed sundried tomatoes.

9:31But$25, I go, don't. Is that what's... She doesn't say. She just says sun-dried tomatoes of any kind or whatever. Yeah. She says tomatoes of any kind pretty much. And then sun-dried. Yes. Yeah. No, no, I know. It's both. I just mean because sometimes I get sun-dried in a bag. In a bag? Oh, not in oil. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I understand. Yeah, I think just, you know. I've only ever known them oil-packed in a jar, really. I've seen the bag. But then the oil from the jar, mm, it's good. I bet, yeah. And just to kind of harp on food a little bit longer, you won't believe where I'm going tonight and where I haven't been in ages.

10:07I'll give you one guess. Gracias Madre? Another guess. If the guess is jar, then fuck you, okay? I'm going with my mom. To jar? Yeah. Great. Why? You mean because I'm not taking you? Yeah, it's just being dramatic for the listener. Okay, okay, okay. But it's been a while and I'm really excited on a rainy day like this. I went back to Crossroads last night. I've been away for a long time. They continue to just, the way that cashew has been just excommunicated there, except for in the cheese board and one particular cheese. Again, you are responsible. Yes, the almond people are upset. I go, damn, I really got to get in here because I've been away.

10:49The almond people. Because almond is still on the menu. In fact, almond has replaced. Because you're okay with almonds. Yeah, almond has replaced a lot of the things. But last night, I had a delightful meal over there. And God, the seasonal offerings, they really do mix it up. And I took a family member there. And just another explosive evening. I had skinny margs. I had the figs and feta with the toasted sourdough. I'm really excited to have a lychee martini tonight. Yeah. I had some kind of root vegetable thing that was someone else ordered and I dug in. I'm going tonight, I'm going lychee martini.

11:35I'm going lychee martini at jar and I might even get the pot roast on a rainy day. Can you imagine? I also want to do a quick shout out. I mean, a quick shout out. But two local restaurants, Kismet over here on the east side does a steakhouse right now. It's un-fucking-believable. And then I went to Loretto, had some of the freshest fish I've ever tasted. Okay. Anyway, bringing it back to pie. But can you imagine me making pie? I mean, you can imagine it. I'm going to have to get on this quick. Otherwise, it's going to be like when my friend learned French before me and I was always too embarrassed to speak it in front of her.

12:08I got to move. I got to move quick. Okay? How do you do a vegan pie, though? Pie, crisp. Yeah. Oh, you can do everything. It's just like you literally can do everything. But will it flake the same? Will it crisp the same? The fat content? I mean, they've figured out a lot of stuff. They have vegan croissants. that are pretty flaky these days. They figured out a lot. Yeah, the technology's there. They can do most things. But, well, I also love a crumble. I love, I die for a crumble. I love crumble. You know, chop up an apple, throw it in a little dish, dump some things on top of it, and it goes, boom, boom, boom.

12:45You're eating. Not so long ago, every morning, I was doing sauteed apples for my oatmeal with amla. Oh, right. I do. Cinnamon. So she's in on the amla. Oh, my God. my dad so so so i'm there i go oh god i gotta order them omelets the easiest thing to add it just tastes like tart whatever not big deal you know my dad can throw it in a smoothie right every time i turned around at christmas my dad was telling someone about like like basically about ag1 and the positive effects on his life okay and i'm like wow i got him on and now i'm like trying to move him to something else and what does he say about it by the way by the way you know what i'm curious about literally brian johnson is that even his name i'm not sure the guy that's like you know trying to live forever living forever yeah and looks like shit his powder i'm like he has his own powder i'm listening okay because the thing about him is like people react like like you know he's a freak or something right yeah and it's like yeah okay it's like that's why i'm interested right yeah i'm like well you know i you know what we saw in his fridge ackermansia pendulum you saw that in his fridge yeah well pendulum rightly so like took a screen grab because he was doing like he opened his fridge as ackermansia so that's his his um that's his um i'm off everything i got i got a screen grab by which i'm gonna photograph i'm off every supplement of inside your fridge i go oh listeners like this wildly my fridge is chaos you know it had some relevant items in there some emergency celsius were packed visible um some other functional drinks were in there um i mocked you for having a tomato since you that's true me years ago for my tomato gallery it's true that was fair that was that was just a little fun and then um wait but wait but i want to just do a quick investigation because so because i'm on fucking facebook marketplace non-stop oh by the way i was gonna get your um rug for 450 today and then someone else got in there and got it before I was back with the news from the rug cleaner.

14:44So here's the thing. I've got a rug cleaner now. Okay. And they do pickups and they do drop offs. So literally if someone has a rug and it looks like whatever condition, let's say it's pretty good or I'm a little nervous, I'm going to have the rug cleaner pick up the rug. Clean it. From them. Do you understand? I get it. No, that's amazing. Arrive at my home new. That's amazing. Okay. It's like rude, plain proud. So I'm looking at this guy. Oh, so because I'm on Facebook marketplace all the it accidentally like ushers me into Facebook sometimes like, like, Oh, like, okay. And I see something. People are still on there.

15:15And by the way, nothing happened on Facebook, but death, it is death central over there. It's like all of that. It's death and decay. It's like, I hadn't logged into Facebook for, I think 10 years easily, if not more. It's like where people go to process. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I logged on and it was like people who I was like, that's like, they're still really using it for the updates. Deaths seeing, you know, Oh my God, it's been 10 years. of course they have two kids now you know it's it was yeah like to visit facebook after after leaving that place a long time ago it's so mormon facebook and then he had this post that was like i reversed my skin age by whatever you know eight years via these different models or whatever and then he got into that i was like i was like well done going after the vanity i mean you know um oh but but my dad so then i when i leave i got mortaring amla directly to their house okay so I leave I order it directly to their house and I'm like did the omla arrive it was cheap by the way guys like you only need tiny bit I'm like did the omla arrive my dad's like yeah he's like you already had a bag here from last time like I'd already done this game yeah he's like and I tried it and it didn't agree with me I was like dad I was like let me guess would you like a like a tablespoon in your smoothie you know what I mean he's like I really tried I'm like dad it's like the amount they studied the amount they studied is tiny.

16:37A tablespoon would be crazy. I'm like, what were you putting on? So I'm like, dad, a pinch, dad, a pinch, please. So I'm really hoping that he will try that again. I mean, I don't know why I wouldn't agree with anyone. It's the tiniest bit of a powder of a berry. You know what I mean? It's a quarter of a teaspoon. It packs a punch, though, of tart flavor. But again, folks, it's cheap. I think I got my pouch for$6 or something. Oh my God. His blueprint is like meat forward. Are you ready? His diet? No, his blueprint powder. Oh, let me guess. It's like bovine liver. It's like - By the way, it's so funny that you had green, you had athletic greens, and then in comes blue Brian Johnson with blueprint.

17:19You see what I'm saying? Yeah, of course. Is it like, let me guess, organs? Let's see. All right. Product benefits. All right, hold on. Sure, sure. Okay. Ingredients. Okay, C-A-A-K-G. Don't know what that is. Why we chose it assists in energy production. Okay. Going to need more. Creatine monohydrate. Glucosamine sulfate KCI. Glycine. Okay. L-theanine. Sure. Oh, the website's not letting me scroll over. Like this is where sodium hyaluronate. Okay, so we're doing interior hyaluronate. The drink is, as far as I can tell, magenta. Magenta. Beets? Probably some Patera or something in there. Let's see.

18:06Dragonfruit. Oh, this is blood orange flavored. Let's see. Daily protocol. What I, what I, do you want to know what got me the efficiency? Are you ready? So, you know, he's got his whole team and he laid out this thing where he had these supplements and showed that every day he had this stack of like 35 supplements, right? Yeah. And he goes, he goes like, I had my team, you know, take all the supplements out of the powder and put them into one thing for me or put them into combined capsules. Oh, okay, okay. Or whatever. Or anything that I could. So now some things can't be done like that for whatever, you know, whatever reason.

18:38He's like, anything that could be taken that way went into the drink. Okay. Anything that could be taken. Anything that you could just dump the powder down your throat if you could. Why wouldn't you just do a capsule? Because it's like swallowing like 40 capsules. I see. Is unpleasant. I see, I see. So like. No, I want to look this up. Blueprint? Blueprint. So I'm going. Shout out to Blue Land, by the way. I need to buy more. I'm deep in with them, the dishwasher tablets. Actually, all of it. Please send more. Oh, I'm deep. The toilet bowl tablets are like overflowing my household. I'm like, I got to get to using those because they're backing up and where am I going to store them?

19:14I could have used a bag. Really? Are you on subscription? No, I think like, it's funny. I'm like, but I'm out of dishwasher tabs. Do you keep that little blue container for them? Yep. Yeah, the metal. So then he's saying... Blueprint cocoa powder. I want to know why. Us versus that, Mo. This one will be fun. Blueprint versus others. Extensive third-party testing. Transparency published COA results for every batch. I don't know. I'm going to need more. What sold me was him putting together this thing for himself, taking 40 pills, and then going, there's got to be a better way. I mean, it just...

19:48I need to know. It's interesting.

19:56It is a new year and I have a new bed to bring in the new year. I've been excited about this. Listeners know that I finally upgraded to a king size bed, which is a huge deal. And what sheets did I purchase? And guys, I'm not kidding you. I purchased out of pocket. I paid for these myself. I bought king size cozy earth sheets because I have been such a true fan of cozy earth sheets. And listeners also know I love the pajamas. I'm sorry, but I'm going to keep saying it. Paid out of pocket, bought an additional set of pajamas because I love them. These are soft, they're cooling, they're cozy. The sheets and the pajamas, all of it, I love it.

20:36And I got some additional linen cozy earth sheets I had never tried before. I can't wait to try those. notably today now we've actually got some towels to talk about too here that they sent because i really pay attention to this stuff okay they sent towels and the new baja collection which we're here to talk about i did talk about it earlier today which i have too i'm so excited to try i'm holding them right now and i show them off in product corner you can hear me moving my hand along these are a really nice print i gotta say and this is the first time i think they've got a full bedding set. So yeah, it's the first collection, the Baja collection, to have a complete matching set, matching sheets, duvet cover, matching quilts and coverlets.

21:16You can go the entire way. And it's inspired, yes, by the serene colors and the dramatic textures of the Baja California landscape. Oh, I love that. It brings a lively and elegant blend of texture and pattern to your top of bed with its reversible design, premium fabric and timeless colorways. This is the perfect set to create your own resort-inspired haven at home. Talk about taking the resort home with you. And another reason I just love Cozy Earth and why I purchased tons of sheets for my new bed, they have an 100-night sleep trial. It's a risk-free purchase. You can try them out. If you don't love them, you return them hassle-free.

21:54And they have a 10-year warranty because once you feel this level of comfort, you'll want it to last a decade. That is something. You know, I've reached out about my comforter because of an issue with a cleaner damaging it and it looks like the warranty is going to come through for me. So, you know, they really care and they really care. Start the new year off right and give your home the luxury it deserves and make home the best part of life. Head to CozyEarth.com and use code HAGS for up to 20 % off. That's CozyEarth.com, code HAGS. And you're going to get a post-purchase survey. Please be sure to mention that you heard about Cozy Earth right here on the show.

22:29Refresh your routines with comfort that makes every day feel like a new year.

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23:16Yeah, we go, this is bonus. This is behind a pay. Well, these people care. These people love and trust. So we love and trust them. That's what$10 a month gets you. Or$100 a year if you'd pay yearly. There are things even recently. I remember I was getting a little personal recently on an episode. I go, okay, well, this is definitely a bonus. Because I go, this is subscribers only. I can't have this floating around. Sometimes we're recording, you know, what we'd call a regular episode. Yeah, and we go, uh-oh, this is going to have to go behind the$100 a year or$10 a month paywall. Because no way this can go out for the free feeders.

23:49Okay, these people have got one foot in. I just cannot overemphasize that the bonus episodes. I mean, if you're not getting those, are you really a listener of the show? I mean, that's one fifth. That's one fifth of the show that you're not getting. So anyway, we'll let you go with that. But go to berlantnovac.supercast.com or any of the links in the various places where the links exist.

24:21I'm trying to look at his cocoa. It's also interesting how people... Oh, it's literally just cocoa. Remember our cocoa cacao? Oh, right. Remember cocoa is better? pure cocoa yeah this is just cocoa he's a cocoa boy he has olive oil curated bundles yeah he pushes all this is crazy and it's called snake oil oh my god which by the way i was like i was like i felt like that was um dare i say poog coated a little bit oh my god damn someone from the marketing department embracing of the snake oil we've been saying it since the early days. Totally. Oh, he's got a lot. He's got nut butter. Oh, by the way, did you get this Raua shampoo?

25:04Oh, I've been using it. It smells great. Okay, because I got it sent to my parents because I was in New York. And then my mother, I said, you could try this because they gave a lot. She goes, I love it. It smells great. And I don't always get that reaction. I mean, so shout out Raua. What does she love about it? I don't know. I guess I should ask. I'm curious about some of this. I'll take a blueprint Brian Johnson care package, by the way. To anyone listening. Blueberry nut mix for me, not for Jacqueline. I'll take some manuka honey. I'll take some cocoa powder. I'll take some longevity protein.