Episode 067: "Souls and Goals and Roles"

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0:39They're gone. It's just us. We're the headquarters. So every dollar that you give us goes directly into the show. You are a producer of the show when you become a subscriber. So enjoy this episode and please go to berlantnovac.supercast.com and become a subscriber. Two best friends, both alike in dignity. Nurturing phantoms and courting the muse. The hag divines when something must die. Yes, that was Poogh. But this is huge. The ego loves to seek, but never to find. It was Berlant and Novak the whole time. You know what's strange is I will not be submitting my face to the public today. By the way, hi.

1:22Hi. I come to you with a new affliction. It starts with an R. It ends with an A. Rosacea. Oh, yeah. Apparently, I've had that for years, they say. Really? are you disappointed instantly anyway go on but apparently i have rosacea no but i had yesterday itching about three days ago i noticed some red bumps like under my eye not under my eye but like just a place where i've never seen any texture issues at all and i was like what the fuck it must have been a real shock it was a real shock and then yesterday redness itching on my fucking face, like on the sides. I was like, excuse me. I texted Jacqueline.

2:10I was on the way to a shoot. I texted Jacqueline because I was like, I need, by the way, this is a public service announcement. There is no such thing as non-drowsy Benadryl. I thought that there was. That's a myth of the eighties or something. They used to put caffeine in it. There's no such thing. So I'm new to allergy world. I go, do I take Claritin? Do I take allegra to me those are i've always been confused about those too and so you know what's so strange so my partner gets rosacea and they were like you know what and this is the horror of life they were like yeah one day i woke up and i had it and i was like what like the idea that you just wake up with a new affliction your life's never the same i mean and by the way it's you'd have to like see me more close up to see and I I put some goddamn cortisone cream on my face but well the joke is like it's not dramatic but it's it's there it's there and I'm devastated you know it's you know it's interesting oh I wonder if the hypochloric whatever it is no hypochlorous no hypochlorous spray the tower 28 I've been spraying so I've got that and then or prequel And then some Not to be a bitch But you know The prequel kind of stings To be honest But the There's a sulfur Sulfur bar of soap That I And apparently that's good And I have to say Sudzing up the bar of soap Did someone tell you about that?

3:30Instant Yeah Naomi knew about it Instantly took redness down I was like Oh shit So I'm basically putting Nothing on my skin today I can't even wear sunscreen Guess it'll be a hat for you So I've drawn the blinds Or a What? Or a sun smock Or it won't even be out Well you know what else? so I apparently have this and um rosacea yeah yeah and you know the cheeks and it's mostly the cheeks which I've I've really never minded that much because it's like red cheeks takes care of yeah sure a Christmas glow and because it's sort of constant I don't experience it as you know like um it doesn't have the shaming quality the internal shaming self-to-self of of the pimple or something where it's almost like I mismanaged something and now there's a blemish right yeah it the constant is just sort of but yeah I've gone and they go rosacea whatever and then um they prescribed me some sulfur type thing okay the pharmacy didn't stock it was it a soap no it was a cream they're like they're like we don't know why they would ever no one's prescribed that since 1920 you know and um i was too lazy to you know i won't say lazy okay yeah have some respect i didn't have it in me to put energy towards calling calling imagine see here's the problem it's like call your doctor you can't okay no you can't you can call an office and have someone i'm going i need to go to a derm i need to go to a and i was like there's got to be you to urgent care for something like this, but there's got to be...

5:07Caperlant's in the ER for rosacea. I texted my doctor this morning. Honestly, usually she's very fast. And that's fine if she's listening. I just said, you can't call your doctor. Caperlant can. I can, yeah. And I'd like to figure out how she does. Now we go... I go, good morning, 854. Good morning. I'm having a new affliction. Rosacea. Yay. So obviously, I just want to stop, okay? Because this is like stars, you know, they're not just like us, right? I know. How did you achieve this? No, how did you achieve having a texting relationship? So this woman obviously thinks she's your friend. I'm going to tell you exactly how I achieve this.

5:45She is my friend. So this is exactly how I achieve this. Congrats. I'm a powerful manifester. I literally was like, I want a primary care physician who's within my network, who takes my insurance, who I can have a personal relationship with. And I wrote this even in an interview. She just responded. She just responded. Do I hear what she said? Yeah. She said, hey girl, hey, yay. Are you fucking serious? Yeah. Jesus. Oh, we got down. Yay, new affliction. I would see any dermatologist at all. Rosacea can be tricky. Oh, can you send me a picture and are you in LA right now? Okay, hold on. Next question.

6:22I'm sorry. I know right now it's about your rosacea for you. For me, it's about having a doctor I can text, okay? I cannot tell you the level of emergency I feel right now seeing what you have and I don't have. No, of course. Teach me. I've wanted this for years. I'm going to tell you. Is she available? No. She literally took me on as a like, but you can have this. I mean, it's very hard. But why can't she also take me on as a, like you're saying like she took me on because like I worked her, I seduced her. No, no. I worked her and I seduced her, but listen to what happened. Yeah. I literally, back to being a powerful manifester.

7:00I remember I did an interview. This was like, you know, it was a variety interview for something. And they were like, what's the thing you want most in 2023 or whatever it was? And I said, a primary care physician who I connect with within my network or something like that. You can find it. I want to say a month later, I think you and I were at the same event. It was like a night before the Emmys, like kind of something where they had a UCLA booth with physicians. Like they had a UCLA booth. And I go over there and I go, hi, hi, hi. and I don't know why I'm protecting her name, but I'm going to for now.

7:32Was it the night before? Because isn't that a party? Yeah, it was the night before a party. Because guess what? Was this the year that, sorry, I was nominated? I don't think so because I wasn't invited the year that you were. So the point is, I'll make peace with it. I actually, now that I am so activated into mycedarsinailink.com, now that my - No, it takes a lifetime. It takes a lifetime. This is something that, forging their relationship with the doc. And by the way, so I connected with her and she was like, I'm going to help you find someone. I do a phone call with her. What are you looking for?

8:02She goes, okay, you know what? I'm going to get you in. There's this woman she's hard to get into, but I talked to her. She'll take you on. And then I'm like, okay, great. And then we're having all this back and forth. And she goes, you know what? No. I'm going to take you on. She goes, I have. She's a very small practice at this point because she does like other stuff. See, that's the romance. You go, hi, you know, in so many scenarios, you know. I'm not looking for a boyfriend. I'm just looking for a little help. How to find one. Yeah. You, nice man. I bet you've got great advice about how a little girl like me can find a boyfriend.

8:37Let me tell you some of my nice qualities. And then he goes, oh, my God. Wait. I'm the boyfriend. No, no, it's you. I can help you out. By the way, keep that idea under your matchmaker, a male matchmaker. A girl is looking for a boyfriend, a male matchmaker falls in love with a matchmaker. I think they did that. They just did it the opposite way. Wasn't that a movie, The Matchmaker with J-Lo or something? Oh, shit. Yeah, you're 100 % right. And I've done it all. Well, I'm one day into a journaling practice, I guess you could say, by which I mean opening the journal. Fantastic. Taking the pen outside for that first burst of sun you're supposed to get.

9:14I'm not putting SPF on for that. It's too much. I can't. No, no, you can't do it. You can't do it. It's just, it's not happening. So I go out, I sit there. You know what I've instituted for myself? so I've realized that I have an altitude problem which is actually it reminds me I should talk about my eustachian tube dysfunction never finished about that oh my god how's your throat fine okay because they gave me this nasal spray twice a day and it's dried things up so that the medicine's amazing oh because I went in there the woman looked in my ears all right we'll get back to altitude after I went in there right the thermometer derailed us I wrote in they go I'm sorry we'll let someone know that that happened and of course you know what are they gonna do send me a hundred dollar amazon gift card i mean i mean there's no recourse other than me wait so woman comes in she goes looks in my ears looks at my throat she goes looks at my throat goes oh yeah there's post nasal drip okay i go really because like oh i look back there i don't see anything yeah i'm imagining streaks of hell right it just looks gently gently moist back there which you'd assume is how it should look.

10:22Anyway, I'm like, okay. And then she looks in my ears. She goes, okay, left ear first. And that's not the side that it hurts on. She goes, okay, I'm going to tell you what's going on here after I check your next ear. Goes over to the other ear. Goes, yep. Okay. Yeah, that one's angry. Eustachian tube dysfunction. She goes, the ears. I get so excited that there's a term and I'm praying. She's like, Eustachian tube dysfunction. And I'm like, yes. And I'm like, this better not be like a real nothing that they've given a phrase to. Right. You know, like when they tell you you have idiopathic anything, which just means of unknown cause.

11:02Terrifying. And then I know I've told you this before, but it rules because it's so horrifying. Iatrogenic means caused by the doctor. Genic and iatra, like PD-Iatrician. Oh, God. So they're like, yeah, we have diagnosed you with an iatrogenic wound to the throat. And you're like, okay, let me take that diagnosis home. Doctor caused it. Doctor runs out, realizing their nail gun was loose in their pocket, and they got you.

11:34So they injured you. So you stationed tube dysfunction. She goes, yeah, your eardrum is supposed to be like this, and it's sort of concave, collapsed. concave collapse you know like it's it's whatever that yeah that's not so scary so you clear up the post nasal drip the inflammation blah blah it'll calm down it's not a big deal do the thing it does it calms down it's fine something going on in your computer yeah but keep going do you want to tell me about it yeah well she said you need to be seen oh this is hysterically because you're like you're doing a thing it's almost worth forensically i know you can't you're still focusing on the conversation at this moment, but you're doing a thing that almost forensically should be shown in video, which is like, you're doing something else.

12:18And there's the pause after I finished speaking at the natural point where you should respond. And you're like, kind of doing a quick replay. I know. I'm so sorry. Here's why. It's because - It's just funny. Isn't it funny how we do this? We - I know. We think that we can get through. Yeah. No, no, no. It's a disease of the times. And I should have said, I'm sorry. I regret it. I should have said, I'm so sorry. Pause. but I have to because my schedule is so crazy today and I'm leaving next week and I'm, and I was like, I just need to respond to the doctor. No, I mean, let's, let's get into it.

12:48So, I mean, the other funny thing is rosacea is not an emergency. It's not a medical emergency, but it's, I'm actively itching. Like I'm physically uncomfortable. Yeah, that sucks. And this is where I get mad at myself. I go, cod, Kate, I've been supposed to do a blood test for allergies for like two months and I've been putting it off and then schedule and had to change. It's a nightmare. Quest Diagnostics. I mean, they make it easy, but I just mean I'm really overdue. Quest Diagnostics is a sponsor? I know. They should be a sponsor. I mean, Quest, you can pretty much, you know, you can walk in, right?

13:17But you got to have that paper. You can walk in, but you have to wait. You got to have that paper. Oh no, what paper? Like you got to have the referral with the lab test. Yeah, totally. Totally. I was like, oh, I'm so on top of my health because I was going to get, I think I already talked about this. And of course there's no story, but just that I went to a UCLA blood thing and it was like 400 ,000 people in line. It was like, take a number to wait in the line. Turned on my heel and I left. You know, this is just a note to sell for later because I want to write a 19 page essay about it. You know, because the whole apologizing for things not being a story.

13:48And then of course. I know, I know, I know. Through my life, you know, that's not a story. It's such a laugh because think about it. When have you heard a good story in a conversation? Yeah, totally. Oh, I'm sorry. It wasn't a story. You mean like yours that you told about, you know, like they're really wrapped up with that. I'm sorry. It's not a story. And then the cashier said, I'm the one with the polka dots. Well, I think here's what it is. It's the fact that we're actively recording a podcast to beautiful listeners who are here to be entertained. Oh, no, no. But I still maintain that we offer.

14:23And you're an artist. You are the sieve. You are the ocean, the bottom of the ocean. They have that sieve that they scrape along and they find gold. They find treasure down there, right? Don't they? Wait, like a comb? Like they comb it? Don't they comb it for treasure? Yeah. Like a hard steel? No, no, no. This is one of the most satisfying things. I don't know if you ever saw a film called Spaceballs. Actually, no. Mel Brooks? Yeah. So that's okay, you know. Thank you. I saw it, and I'm of a time period where I hadn't been conscious for the Star Wars franchise. And so when I saw Spaceballs, that was sort of my introduction to that world.

15:12So it's like Mel Brooks kind of Star Wars-esque, you know, how he does those types of movies. So I don't know why I was so resistant to just say spoof. It just felt too... Spoof, yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Um, so I'd like to talk about spoofs later as well, if you can remember that spoofs and altitude. I was of a time period where then I saw later on, you know, oh, you know, see Star Wars. I go, this is a ripoff of Spaceballs. Okay. Amazing. Spaceballs is the true introduction to that kind of interplanetary warring for me. So the point is, there's jokes where they're like, we got to find whoever combed the desert.

15:56And then you see these giant metal combs dragging through the desert sand. And it's exactly the image you're talking about. I'm just imagining just a metal shovel dragging and the sand sifting through it. and then treasures and curiosities being caught. Is there anything more satisfying? Fabulous. Anyway, I'm pretty excited because this could become kind of a rosacea cast. Well, I can't wait for the listener to follow along my rosacea journey. With me. This is what I'm saying. I can finally pick up and take seriously my own rosacea along with you. Well, listen, everyone, and this should be going right into the ears.

16:38Rosacea products, send them our way. Oh, no. Rosacea is so common, right? There's going to be cartons of mail. Great. Dear Santa, rosacea. How about this? Well, I have two people suffering from rosacea in my home. And also, let's say, guys, don't reach out. We don't need every rosacea sufferer to reach out. We won't be able to sieve. We want to give you a voice. We won't be able to sieve for the good stuff. We could start a, you know. community the rosacea years and there were the rosacea years where it wasn't an accident everything all the branding was red rosacea products the red period oh i know i know we go from blue to red for rosacea month rosacea awareness month the itching around here is what's oh yeah look at that look you can kind of if you can try to not itch take a minute with this so yesterday right i'm on the way to a shoot okay so i'm obviously extra conscious of my fucking skin and makeup artist putting on makeup and she's the one that goes oh you know what i can actually feel she was she's like i can feel the bumps and the texture i go yeah that's not my normal thing and then like 45 minutes she goes you know what's starting to go down here on your neck where it wasn't before holy shit so that's when i start to get nervous because i also know that i do have allergies that i am unaware of that I, again, I'm getting the blood test on Monday, folks.

18:08But so sweet. Jacqueline has boo in her arms. You're so lucky. I'm not even just trying to show him off. It's mostly because he's like in a yelling, wants attention kind of vibe. And so I just feel like I got to scoop him up to be quiet for the pod. So insanely cute. So I'm worrying. I'm not panicking. I'm just like, oh, fuck. I text Jacqueline, allergist. you know um Jacqueline sends me really beautifully thoughtful responses and so then they at the shoot I hadn't they were like do you have any requests you know is there anything you want and it's a short shoot I was like I don't need anything but then I go you know what I'll take algae medicine I go is there non-drousy benadryl and then so then I get there and this guy greets me and kind of an I'm sorry I would describe it as kind of in a rude tone it's like well you look fine like something kind of like that.

19:01Like, like as if I was being so dramatic and being like, I'm having a - It was his role, you don't want to say? Oh, like a PA. Yeah. Wow. Or something. I don't know. I don't know. But I, maybe if he's listening, which I'm sure he's not, I was obviously extra sensitive because I do have a thing of, you know, you don't want to be the diva. I'm having a meltdown. I'm making it about me. I'm having red dots. I need Benadryl. But it's like, imagine if I were having a headache. I was like, I need Advil. You know, it's like, not anyway he kind of was like i actually would argue even the first is the less selfish one i mean not really but it's like one could affect the photos one could lead to additional work for the the retouch artist i really don't want fucking rosacea right now my face is itching it's like and i even him is going calm down calm down because i truly like and it's really not bad right now it's gone down from what i used should we go um metaphysical are you ready yep irritation well i have an announcement which is that you've been in a state of agitation irritation well here's the thing i do think stress brought it on but stress of a given nature yeah like a certain like because because a woman yesterday at the shoot was like yeah a couple things can bring it on like did you eat anything different you know did you eat anything different did you put anything different no no she goes stress i was like yeah could it be that simple New bedding?

20:23Did you wash it first? Could it be that simple? Yep. Trust me, I thought of that too Yeah, it's none of that shit, I don't think But if you can control yourself from scratch, you know, the scratch creates more itch I'm not scratching. I know better than to scratch my face and to drag my fucking nails across my one face What are you going to do with your one and wild face?

20:51you're one wild and precious face one wild and precious face there is something about the like people posting like you know about certain poets meaning a lot to them and you know can you post about a poet meaning a lot to you without just it being um so about you it's not even funny I would take it further. Can you post? I just, because I've been, today's basically a month of no Instagram. I repeat everyone. A month of not looking once. But I have to promote my London shows. London, coming to you February 13th and 14th. Great. And I. We're going to be like practically on the road at the same time.

21:29In London? No, no, no. Okay, okay. Just the road. Well, I'm only gone for two days. I spent all of last year in London. I know. It's not the road. I'm truly just going for two days. But I was like, I have to post and I'm going to do it. I'm going to not engage. I'll post a hot pic to remind people I exist as an actress in the field. And then you know what I felt? I was like, fuck, I have a couple gorgeous Christmas photos. I'm like, and I said to Naomi, I can't post Christmas, right? Sure can. They go, no. They say past the window, which I understand. Can't you just blur out the go black and white, blur out the red and the green?

22:04Or mid-Jan. No. No, the whole point is that it's Christmas. It's like the, you know, they're Christmas forward images, but that's okay.

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22:56Yeah, we go, this is bonus. This is behind a paywall. These people care. These people love and trust. So we love and trust them. That's what$10 a month gets you. Or$100 a year if you'd pay yearly. There are things even recently. Remember I was getting a little personal recently on an episode. I go, okay, well, this is definitely a bonus. Because I go, this is subscribers only. I can't have this floating around. Sometimes we're recording what we'd call a regular episode. Yeah, and we go, uh-oh, this is going to have to go behind the$100 a year or$10 a month paywall. Because no way this can go out for the free feeders.

23:29Okay, these people have got one foot in. And I just cannot overemphasize that the bonus episodes, I mean, if you're not getting those, are you really a listener of the show? I mean, that's one fifth. That's one fifth of the show that you're not getting. So anyway, we'll let you go with that. But go to berlantnovac.supercast.com or any of the links in the various places where the links exist.

24:01Well, here's a question. People offer us services at times. We don't always have time to take them in. If you are a serious motherfucking photographer, and you've got it all set up, whether it's your own studio or - And you don't want money. Your best friend. Okay. I mean, I'd even pay. It's like the search is the hardest part. Of course. I need photos and I need them now. Yeah. I can't take it anymore. By the way, Jacqueline, it's so shocking. The last time we took photos together was a year ago, over a year ago. Isn't that sick? Like I'm talking about professional photos. Well, actually, we need some magazine.

24:39We need some gloss. And we need it fast because big things are ahead, folks. But I wanted to tell you about my altitudinous key adjective on this podcast. so I've combined a couple of self-help uh different whatever things okay this is what I've decided so mind flying around the problem is I'm flying from big issue small issue whatever so now here's how I'm orienting altitudinously in the morning are you ready okay so there's a thing from back in the day from um seven habits of highly effective people okay oh god no it's good it's very good win-win you know win-win win-win yeah the phrase win-win like oh it's a win-win oh oh it's a concept there she is like from the 80s well he dropped in the 90s i'm pretty sure okay uh double check it i'm like maybe it was just the first time i heard it but i don't think so what are the seven habits um here are the ones that come to mind uh keep the end in mind okay i mean i would argue the real end death well it's a good one to keep in mind yeah um here i'll pull them up this is it this is working okay yeah great you know it's interesting to go what's stuck with me but let me just um yeah yeah yeah okay so this idea that private victory aka self-mastery precedes public victory right so you know everyone's out there chasing public victory you know in terms of with other people you know whatever master the Sure.

26:17And in this, he had this idea that really stuck with me, which was, I think it was circle of influence and circle of concern. Okay. And circle of influence, let's say it's like this, a little circle. And that's all the stuff that's within your control, your power to affect, take action around, right? There's a wider circle, which is the circle of concern, all the shit you don't feel you have power to control at this time, but would like to, right? I want to be in a movie. You don't have control over being in a movie, but maybe that's in your circle of concern, things are in consideration. But in your circle of influence, I can put myself on tape for an audition.

26:54I can, you know, whatever, right? And the idea is that as you focus on the circle of influence and taking action in there, your circle of influence grows. Okay? Sure. And as your circle of influence grows, your circle of concern can actually grow bigger. I think people get it, right? But it's a nice reorienting into what you can do and a satisfying idea that the map will grow. At least that's how I took it, maybe. So to say real quick, here are the seven habits and I can give you what I know of them. Are you ready? So the first three are about private victory. Be proactive. Begin with the end in mind.

27:29Put first things first. Okay? Okay. We'll get to what those are after. And then public victory. Think win-win. Seek first to understand. Oh, yeah. I forgot about this. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Oh, I've heard that. Yeah. Six, synergize. Okay? LOL. Again, though, it's like 96 and he's introducing it? That's how we know it's the 80s. Bitch. All right. And then finally, renewal, okay, is the seventh. And that's sharpen the saw. And I'll tell you what that means, okay? Oh. So, right. So be proactive. You choose your response. Focus on what you can influence. That's circle of influence, right?

28:11Okay. Begin with the end in mind. Define your values and outcomes first and act backwards from those. So, like, I remember he had this idea of people are wildly, like, clawing on the ladder, you know, to get up the ladder. but all to realize they had the ladder leaned up against you know a building they don't care about so start with the end and then work back to what your ladder is on you know i see so put first things first prioritize what matters most not what's loudest family family yeah so this is this um quadrant it's like axis of and i know you're like eyes will cross at that but just stay with it quadrant okay so there's urgent and non-urgent right okay i have trouble with those differentiating those and then there's important and not important okay have trouble differentiating those yeah important not important urgent not urgent so putting out fires oh i've been putting out fires some day is um you can imagine urgent important okay someone collapses everything else goes and you immediately tend to that right sure rosacea okay okay urgent not important no no get ready for that right urgent not important is like you know the ice cream man the doorbell's ringing yeah probably like every single alert coming in your phone you know and like this was like he wrote this in the 90s so it's like okay but it's like they were so free urgent not important is just all the shit that's constantly taking your attention but it's right now like hi can you look at this and it might be in no way serving the you know your mission anyone else's whatever so important urgent we understand yes take your lover to the hospital right okay you ready so basically the one that gets ignored important non-urgent so that's just you know reading yeah tending to my mind yeah or any um project or goal that is long term long term yeah got it and i believe that's quadrant two the nobel peace prize okay i believe that's quadrant two now a pulitzer that's quadrant two so i remember like sometimes like i've become like i remember like i like went on like a sticker thing and a t-shirt thing and like made a t-shirt that said i'd rather be in quadrant two it was part of my like i'm gonna like i always want micro micro hyper specific merch out there for the people yeah i also made one for my cat when she was getting subcutaneous fluids for a kid chronic kidney disease because there was like this little shirt for cats you know and small pets you could customize and to put a little pad on her after the um injection like because it would leak a little bit of the water the saline that you just like put into them i would like want something to hold it like hold the little like thing on there so like a little t-shirt okay on the cat and then i so then i customized one put it online it was like um put it online that's what i'm saying like i go on these things like i can make it for myself but then you can also publish it like anyone could buy it and search it in like you know one of these sites exazzle or something right yeah so i'm like someone out there wants the quadrant two sticker and then this one was a little t-shirt for the cat but i want to make sure i understand did you put the shirt online that's my question i don't understand oh my god that's amazing i mean it's probably still there there was a point where like i used to just like i would take enthusiasm for some idea and just put it on a sticker and i could go hunting like other things like that or like when i read run with the wolves i found this like baba yaga like illustration from you know the 1400s in the public domain and i wanted to be reminded of the the tale so i want a little picture printed out and i'm like there's other people do too might as well just like throw this in be like to remind you like sure someone bought it that's amazing like a framed like i've just made it easy for someone wow i mean i recognize this is like you know i'm sharing this because it's like humiliating strange bizarre no it's your merch stand merch cart i still want to understand what quadrant two is oh yeah so um you have to carve out time for important non-urgent or you You have to shut the door from all the urgent, you know, non-important and say, I shall not be bothered between these hours.

32:40Okay. Guess what? I'm about to buy this fucking book. Okay, good. No, it's very good. Okay. So that's part of put first things first. So think win-win is looking for mutual benefit. You don't want lose-win and you don't want win-lose. You don't want I win, you lose, and you don't want I lose, you win. Just like try for win-win. That's why I think you might have come up with it. seek first to understand then to be understood that i don't feel like digging around for it but it's pretty significant particularly as someone who feels chronically misunderstood yeah yeah of course to understand it's not a bad bad thing synergizes leveraging differences creating better and i'm just reading some summary but you might want to check it out and then renewal and this was kind of interesting is sharpened saw and that's continuous renewal that's the ongoing so that's physical mental emotional spiritual it's like okay it's the ongoing maintenance of the stuff that matter it's learning it's you know but one of the things that i got from him somewhere in the book probably inside of the put first things first is like you know looking at things from 10 000 feet 20 000 feet view 10 000 feet view you know down right you're down on the ground with your ladder leaned up against the wrong building with your eye on the next wrong right so and i think part of that and i always thought this was pretty good and i this is where i was headed with you with what i did in my journal so it's like sorry just like the the words passed through my mind comedy wellness podcast you know and then it's like it's just me like sincerely taking you through through seven habits seven habits no it's incredible so roles and goals.