Hypochondriac’s Riddle

10:07Kate Berlant:well you know right now i am i am i'm going out to get my green you know i mean no no but no caffeine past noon you serious yeah hundred that's what you heard because it affects your

10:23Jacqueline Novak:that's part of it affects your sleep even if you're like so fucks your sleep which fucks your life which you know like right now I'm basically at my cutoff I'm at noon it's noon it's 11 59 I'm gonna drink this to get through the rest of the day to get through the angiogram

10:41Kate Berlant:well you know I got most of the boost I needed just from the moment of cracking that thing and it's sitting here next to me it's it's like you know I mean it's like when I like realized like the margarita like i love the taste of lemon i'm sorry lime and salt and it's like as i said to you i'm just gonna start getting a seltzer water with hey can i get a rim of salt and a lot of

11:01Jacqueline Novak:lime yeah but i like the way alcohol feels when it hits me in the fucking brain okay that's also

11:07Kate Berlant:you know peaceful genius sheer glory okay okay this is how we have addd yeah exactly exactly and um i'm still doing my mendy training you know that the headband last night i've been doing it bed which is not really the time to do it because I'm practically falling asleep but getting the ball to move up doing like gratitude it's like pretty wild man um by the way shout out to the um to the hag in the audience I just want to say I caught a couple hags in in poog um you know in poog merch and obviously shouting out as well to be clear those in a Jacqueline Novak merch at a jacqueline nova show i am not of course okay okay but here over on poog i just want to say you know it's really nice it's a really nice thing to see um and and i think poog poog x here we go folks toronto okay toronto poog we didn't go there right we definitely didn't go there no i haven't

12:14Jacqueline Novak:been to toronto in years i love i love toronto crowds i'm very overdue for a visit it's like

12:19Kate Berlant:we have talked so much about not fucking up and making sure we get christmas in this year you know yeah with every passing day maybe we only agree to show up to a city if we're filling in i don't know 1500 seater and so it's upon the hags you sign up in advance yes okay on an email because guys the costs don't work out okay okay i mean it's it's it's not cheap to travel so i'm just going do we do we really think ew oh it's like b vitamins in there so this is a weird sorry this is a weird energy drink that like how much caffeine's in yours well i haven't taken a sip yet but i just want to be clear this is fit aid someone handed it to my mother likely out of a barrel you know what i mean no clue what this is and she brought it home for me and caffeine from green tea amino acid from l leucine electrolytes and magnesium vitamin c d3 e and b complex and c you know or coq10 whatever have you say that all i'll say is and you're fixing it on the caffeine b vitamins you know that they stink right no there was a smell emitting in my closet and i was like where are they where is it finally found the b vitamin or the b12 it emanates there was a period where my mom thought like she's like you really need to like deep clean your room or something like like jack like something's up and then came out and it was the b vitamins right next to the door

13:51Jacqueline Novak:whoa that's crazy for like a slog wait speaking of vitamins did you order a sneagen the poog headquarters i saw it received neogen and i go what's that it's like nad vitamins let's see what neogen is and you're anti nad i'm anti nad this i went through steps to get the nose spray and i went through the whole thing and then i saw in the warning it was like it can you know raise your chances of blah blah breast cancer like double negative breast cancer what the fuck and i texted to my doctor my doctor goes i don't like that like don't do that what is nad plus what is neogen okay i see it that's a trademarked version of nicotinamide riboside i i think

14:49Kate Berlant:during the early like nad craze i ordered something for my dad because as listeners may know he is he's the only person that can take a supplement and know if it's had an effect do you know what i'm saying wow because he's so right right right introduces things and then he went through that period where he was like tracking in excel his water and figuring out his potassium and all this crazy stuff right so i'm always like dad like you're the guy you know like when my psychiatrist like gave me a book about fish oil in like you know 2000 or something he read it and has been on fish oil ever since as we know and he didn't like it fish oil no no fish oil has been on the whole time with the nad nad oh now there are bumps to these things because i'm always like dad maybe like those uncomfortable feelings are like just the medicine you need right right like um you didn't like that he didn't like the omelet powder which is devastating to me given it being a miracle ingredient didn't like the way it made him feel he said that yeah i'm going what's going on i'm going dad did you dump a huge amount into your wacko smoothie yeah you know he finally got vinegar out of the smoothie okay because you know it's like it's like it's like dad you know what i mean like he he gets the message that it's like okay apple cider vinegar yeah so he decides to like throw it in with everything else you know but it's that's not the way to do it yeah he's

16:10Jacqueline Novak:still he won't give up ag god love him okay it's i know and then meanwhile i'm barking i'm barking

16:18Kate Berlant:all this like like i had like a meltdown at sitting having dinner with my parents like trying to like like a meltdown about like you know

16:30Kate Berlant:like just health stuff and and and meanwhile like i my own health is a laugh and a half you know what i mean meanwhile he is at the gym twice a day or whatever you know what i mean and i haven't like moved like my my workout which he's been like margaritas for the last year and a half yeah i mean so it's like although yesterday i will say you know and this is what we do here on this podcast okay we get on and off we get on and off we just keep coming back i did a tracy class on a computer wow on the on the rug in the den i didn't get into it i don't have any good workout yeah i was in an unsupportive bra just got down on the mat and did it didn't go like nutso if something was like you know whatever i did it i sweat man it's good i know man any any way you can get it i'm like that is good anyway so i i enjoyed that woke up sore ass muscle best and i'm just like so to healing august now i know what you're saying folks okay it can't just be you can't heal for a month and then go back to destroying so what's healing august for you it might be okay if i if i make it home because right now i've washed up at my parents house after a week of insane so we all caught me at the end of we all caught me my last night in toronto oh no the shingles resolved yeah i mean i still have a little bit of the rash hopefully that's not permanent um but i'm assuming it's resolved and i'm i'm telling myself it's resolved you know what i mean but the last the last episode i was in that amazing airbnb in toronto leaving the next morning so early to go to straight to montreal do a montreal show leave the next morning after that early to go to fly to LaGuardia to drive to my parents' house to drive to Bard College your your two-year alma mater and and then drove back that night here and I've washed up for three days like this is what happens to me like if I'm on the east coast and it's like it's dressed it's like I sort of like get my get my ass to my parents where for a moment time doesn't I don't have to check out yeah time i'm safe you know what i mean like there's food it's like i can just space out and so it's sort of like now figuring out my next moves you know i was supposed to go to hudson and and chatham with my friend who was there for my that was gonna be a whole thing that was gonna be july that fell apart on me now i go do i go up to hudson back to feast in florida with my friend chloe remember feast in florida i went like six nights in a row that was the

19:13Jacqueline Novak:restaurant in Hudson I went to like oh yeah yeah sure and then um you know go back up there

19:19Kate Berlant:my building routine right where not routine but tradition oh in the summers I always pass through Hudson and that could be a nice lifestyle thing you know I started dreaming Italy before Christmas yeah of course oh yeah lifestyle design right like I was going life design I was going let's sit down and look at a fucking calendar and go what would I want my life to look like if I if it could be anything right and then what if i figured it out around that this i instead i live like like on a rabid treadmill of hell yeah you know what i mean like so i am feeling nurtured by the trees the east coast trees the old trees around around the house so this is really terrible but i have to go

20:01Jacqueline Novak:we did a lot of since you were gone i know sorry because i'm like i literally have to get in my car and go drive to the fuck to cedars fucking sinai and get angiogram well i'm really excited

20:10Kate Berlant:for your angiogram remember you wanted this you begged for it most people wouldn't think there was an issue that was other than whatever you said maybe there is right yeah the neurologist calls goes okay shit we got you an angiogram now i would love a full i'll call you on this i would love video of this i want to see it i want to know everything okay so i would call you on riverside

20:32Jacqueline Novak:and get this could be an extra bonus totally by the way you know how it goes i'll probably be in the fucking waiting room for 10 ,000 years.

20:38Kate Berlant:And you also are less scared when you're on camera getting medical procedure. Remember? I know. You shoot yourself with your, you know, things. Okay. This is great. So guess what?

20:48Jacqueline Novak:Pick up. I'm going to, I can literally do Riverside from that. Okay. I love you. I'm calling you back.

20:52Kate Berlant:Literally you can bring your earbuds. All right. Love you. Bye.

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21:57Jacqueline Novak:Unbelievable. Caffeine being added to Element. I stopped in my tracks.

22:03Kate Berlant:Kate, you realize that caffeine doesn't actually give you energy, right?

22:07Jacqueline Novak:I love caffeine, but as you know, you've got to be careful with the way you're ingesting caffeine.

22:12Kate Berlant:No, it just blocks the receptors that make you feel tired. That's a painful truth and one that, well, I guess Element is interested in helping us navigate.

22:23Jacqueline Novak:The combination of the hydration with the electrolytes and Element with the caffeine stabilizes you and it can fit into your day in an easy way versus your usual ways that you go about getting coffee or procuring caffeine.

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22:49Jacqueline Novak:Isolated caffeine, the kind that's in a lot of energy drinks, hits harder and drops faster because there is just nothing there to smooth the curve. tea however works differently the caffeine comes bundled with l-theanine and polyphenols and the way that it exists like that naturally in the world is the point that's what gives you a noticeably steadier feeling there's less of a spike and less of a drop element lemonade iced tea

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24:08Jacqueline Novak:So, what are we doing in there? We got Kiprelant at the doctor's. And it's secured so you can move back your arm. We're under the table. There's no need. I mean, there's a needle there. No, there's no need. She's freaked. Wait, hold on. Oh, okay.

24:22Kate Berlant:okay okay hi how are you okay we're all together grab your stuff okay it's on the go poog it's letting the people in so kate is going to get her die in the brain angio after her high zoo fears did she um bisect her artery etc as we all know her neurologist says just did she still come in. So today she's getting dye in the veins. I suggested we do our episode over here because one, historically, the fear can go away when you're recording yourself. You become a character in a story. Kate has had success with filming herself while giving herself a Movig migraine shots. So I think this is so cool.

25:13Kate Berlant:I'm hoping we get to see some of the actual footage of her brain. that would be really cool on her neck. I have not. So we'll just listen. Enjoy it. Yeah. Let's do it. Yeah.

25:24Jacqueline Novak:All right. So here's Dan. You're going to get injected with some contrast. I heard. You might also get the sensation you have to pee. Ew. Very rarely. Oh, no. She do pee. No, no, no. Not me. Let's hope not. Even in young people? Yeah. No. Very rarely. Very rarely. Who are my good genes? No. That's the thing about kaija too. So you feel like you have to. Sometimes. Traveling so fast throughout the whole vessels. That's passing through the vessels of the female. People get the sensation they have. It creeps me out. Let's hope you don't. Let's really hope I don't. It's quite quick, right? Yeah, it's about like 10 minutes again.

26:12Jacqueline Novak:Okay. Just like a big donut. You're not like submerged. Yeah, yeah.

26:18Kate Berlant:and then after you drink a lot of water so you can get rid of the car okay any questions no

26:26Jacqueline Novak:i'm glad it's fast oh this is probably the worst part just like having something in your arm

26:33Kate Berlant:no you don't like needles i mean who does some more than others i don't know if kate can hear me i don't think she can is it the thing where like you can't have any metal

26:42Jacqueline Novak:I'm only wearing a ring that's okay it's so weird okay no like pins no earrings no now I'm like should I pee first I'm scared first scan yeah thank you yeah just doing it for fun you're doing that scan

27:08Kate Berlant:I'm looking up CT scan peeing sensation the contrast that is warmed up to body temperature before it goes in your veins opens your blood vessels, trich nerves, sudden heat in your lower body

27:20Jacqueline Novak:so we can see what's going on that's pretty much it so you just kind of push me in there okay yeah exactly

27:35Jacqueline Novak:I just have my L.P. you know when i don't know you want to use the bathroom it's not it doesn't induce urine urination but it just kind of makes you feel like it's a sensation but if you feel like you want to just eat yourself so you feel you know loose or whatever yeah yeah yeah yeah why not why not pee first right there she goes she definitely can't hear me or maybe she can

28:00Kate Berlant:maybe she's about to reveal she can't i assume she took her headphones out or her earbuds because That might seem a little weird in front of the doctor to keep the buds in. But I'm finding this all very exciting. But I just did a little research, and it says that the warm fluid of the dye, warm fluid moving through the blood vessels, similar feeling, can make you feel like you have to pee, but it doesn't sound like it's going to actually lead you to peeing. We'll see. You're going to talk to people. Okay. So first, we're just going to flush that a lot and make sure. Medical professionals rule.

28:44All right.

28:47Kate Berlant:Because Kate's basically gone, I'm going to end this. And then we'll check in with her after.

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31:02Kate Berlant:we're back folks kate is back i'm back i'm updating her that we heard her talking we heard her by the way and i got the results and they're normal amazing can you believe how quickly i'm only not reacting because i i got that via text yeah you know exactly i already knew i just want

31:19Jacqueline Novak:to shout out the imaging specialists at cedar sinai here in la i dealt with three men they were all friendly warm loved the guy we heard loved him by the way did you feel the i looked it up the peeing sensation did you feel it the warmth okay so just to catch everyone up they inject this dye into your veins and he said you're gonna feel warm all over it'll go away we heard kate we

31:44Kate Berlant:all heard oh yeah okay and and i and i like i was doing box breathing to calm down because i was

31:52Jacqueline Novak:really dreading it and then i have to say it was not not intense when the dye went in it was more than just a warming sensation it was like i felt i was like is this one injecting heroin feels like like it felt like except i didn't enjoy it but i was like someone else might because i felt i felt like drugs were entering my system like i couldn't really move or like like it was like oh like it was all over so i would describe it almost as a high feeling but it was like i could feel it like you could feel something coursing through your veins it was i felt it my hands my heart my chest going into my like i fucking felt it entering like my neck like how much dye do they

32:33Kate Berlant:put in i don't know it's very little and that it just sort of you know it's dye so you only need a

32:39Jacqueline Novak:couple drops to like it did not feel mild i think what i'm feeling is not the dye itself but just the fluid that's going through with the dye the saline no right that's what i mean yeah but i

32:49Kate Berlant:I mean, was it like a banana bag or whatever, but of like blue?

32:52Jacqueline Novak:I didn't even see it. My eyes were closed. But it was like, I would not describe it as a mild sensation. And I was doing, I had to visualize my mother in the room and I visualized Naomi. I visualized my partner and my mother in the room to keep me safe.

33:06Kate Berlant:No.

33:07Jacqueline Novak:And then.

33:09Kate Berlant:I don't know why I find it shocking. It's very funny to me. I know.

33:12Jacqueline Novak:And then I was like, you're going to be okay. And I was like, you're going to go get your favorite smoothie after this. because Beverly Hills juice is on the way home. So I was like, you're going to have a juice. You're going to be talking to Jacqueline. I was like, you're fine. Doing the box breathing. And quite simply, before I knew it, it was over. It really was over before it began.

33:29Kate Berlant:Did they talk to you while you were inside?

33:31Jacqueline Novak:No, which I was a little bit like, ooh, I kind of, because I was a little confused. I was like, wait, when's the diet coming in? But then he came out and he was like, okay, we're going to put the diet. And I was like, oh, shit, bitch. But the guy was wheeling me. and then what's funny to me is I couldn't help myself on the way I go I probably don't even need this you know it's not because I felt suddenly they're dealing with people all day who are worried concerned panicked right something's wrong with me and the people in that rating room everyone was over 65 right so I'm like then I go in there and I and I'm looking at people's eyes going are they looking at me going poor girl you know what I mean what the fuck is wrong with this girl and so I felt the urge to go so I'm like I probably don't even need it you know I get migraines and I went a little hard with a neck massager and uh I was like over like he doesn't he was just kind of like okay like he doesn't were you doing it almost like you wanted to own that

34:26Kate Berlant:because you thought he might be doubting you or you you wanted him to become for he doesn't he's not the diagram worry he's not he's just the technician he's not like looking at the results

34:36Jacqueline Novak:no he's certainly not but i just didn't want him to worry and i didn't like the idea that he could be thinking whoa i hope this like what's going on with her because they were like are you going to get an mri like you have other tests today and i was like no sit i didn't tell him

34:50Kate Berlant:honey i got the prenuvo the prenuvo is clear um elective i know well i thought because i did have

34:57Jacqueline Novak:the feeling i go what if the die what if i'm you know the one that has an adverse reaction right and when i was in there i thought i should have asked if anything if there's a chance of a freak accident like like i should have asked like is there any chance freak accident with a die yeah like oh yeah like one in a million people like has like suffers uh whatever the fuck and they never come back yeah well i have another announcement i think i got free valet so i pull up and i want to say it was fast as hell pulled up did valet because i go not today and then i go how much is valet gonna be 60 right i look all day valet is 20 honey dinner at a a nice restaurant at this point is$20 without tip.

35:37Jacqueline Novak:So I go$20 for all day. I'm looking at me here a couple hours. Something happened with a ticket where I never fucking paid. I had$5 cash. I tip the valet$5. I'm out of there. It's kind of unbelievable. When in your life do you not pay for valet?

35:52Kate Berlant:Sounds like it was meant to be. I know and I go

35:55Jacqueline Novak:somehow like what the Cedars has my Amex on file. I guess they do. $275.

36:01Kate Berlant:You don't think it's fundamentally the valet isn't fundamentally what the fuck is the word for it i need to get it oh validated what is it no i had to get a thing

36:10Jacqueline Novak:but i went to the thing it was like invalid ticket and the guy was like huh and then before i knew it there was my car and i never let you go you let your ass go they didn't say like well we can't charge you they just i was out of there but i have to say overwhelming gratitude on the way back for health for life drink my smoothie from beverly hills juice with a real feeling of nourishment and and also something that i don't think the listeners have heard since our last recording mere hours ago i've officially the pain i'm having is officially ovulation pain and i'm sorry but the orar ring fucking i can't help it sometimes it's just amazing it pinpointed today is the day i'm ovulating it goes ovulation day 29 well that's today and that's the day last night was when i had the extreme pain yeah i'm here in bed with a heating pad i also googled fatigue during ovulation

37:02Kate Berlant:yes it's very common to have i was trying to get you to to download the app stardust it's very cute and it's very like pretty colors and stardusty things and and folklore and luteal phase and okay you're on day 28 which symptoms do you have this many other in the community had this symptom on this day i really think you'd like it is what i'm trying to say anyway i can get into that and actually i think you can even have friends on there where we could be like tuned in.

37:31Jacqueline Novak:I think that sounds fun. It's cute and it's pretty.

37:34Kate Berlant:And I appreciate when an app is pretty. Let's see here.

37:38Jacqueline Novak:And I'm actually feeling, I mean, those close to me know I'm a little whore, a red carpet, a fun party. Oh, friends are going. I'm there. I'm seriously considering not attending a premiere tonight that I was looking forward to because I'm feeling so

37:53Kate Berlant:tired well protect health to serve future red carpets i guess i don't know you know what i mean

38:04Jacqueline Novak:super torn um i think you can't lose and i have a cute dress i am really into mobile poog like

38:16Kate Berlant:i find it very exciting i'm very excited about on the go bringing the people into our lives and yes I'm again thinking about going live in curious situations. But I'm dreaming of like, I'm on the road talking to you. We're passing through different towns. The Pug listeners, the hags are right there with us. They're waving from the gas stations.

38:35Jacqueline Novak:I think it's possible.

38:36Kate Berlant:Oh, you know what I'm back on? Because I left it here last time, so I haven't used it in like a year. It's this herbaceous oil cleanser from, I have to check. But, you know.

38:46Jacqueline Novak:The Licham's oil cleanser is unbelievable.

38:48Kate Berlant:It's not. It might be like Sanyo or something. I have to check, but it's really nice. And I have like nothing, can't find my moisturizer or whatever. And I'm like washing my face with it and not feeling like – I was like looking at my skin. I'm like, what's up? It was looking good. And I was like, did it with single oil cleanser and the East Coast Air or Stormy?

39:09Jacqueline Novak:I think oil cleansing really is good. Yeah. Here, actually, given the nature of what we're doing, the mobile nature, I'm going to go look right now.

39:20Kate Berlant:Here it is. manio herb green cleansing oil oh what is that you must have gotten that oh i paid out of pocket yeah a lightweight cleansing oil enriched with 19 plant oils for deep impurity removal along with it anyway i just and then do i have anything else in here of interest not really um but what i've been doing is stealing my mother's items some of which i got for her back in the day not back in the the day but the botter bader the face mist which i still believe in and then i would mean which made me go i really got to get back on that for real and then look what she's got this i haven't seen this before leave-in spray this must have come from a salon because she's got the we dot curl quencher i love products and then she's got oh you know what i was wondering about this she's got drunk elephant miracle butter i go on the face could it be i guess dab a tiny bit any plate no this is dry elbows this is stuff that's cracked and then this was another do you remember this this estera brand i was into their cream and then also the spritz you got me that barrier mist and

40:40Jacqueline Novak:i'm now on my third bottle and i have the cleanser that same one from estera yeah that was i that was from a wild screen grab line at sephora by the way a wild oh yeah i saw that when i was

40:52Kate Berlant:last there because this was i think pre them being in sephora or something um speaking of sephora i

40:58Jacqueline Novak:saw such a fucking cute instagram video of two like 18 year old girls spending that hiding at sephora after they closed to spend the night there no it's real and it's them like underneath oh it's completely real it's them like underneath the things and then they're filming and it's like the lights are like they're like locked inside it's like they are so that's real i'm having such

41:20Kate Berlant:a hard time believing that's real i'm gonna say because couldn't they like be arrested i guess so i mean if sephora was smart they would um you know they would have paid them to do that i think what

41:30Jacqueline Novak:they could have done was we'll spend the night and then when they will open up in the morning wait for the first customers to come and then you just stand up you mean stand up to blend in yeah

41:40Kate Berlant:see i would have fears like with things like that right that something could go wrong where like you think you figured it all out but like somehow you end up like dying in there you know what i mean

41:51Jacqueline Novak:like there's like you're locked in there's like a fire you're locked in like just things could go wrong like the steel grate you don't want to be under behind a steel grate yeah that's the thing glass is one thing you can break through in an emergency now are they going to use the products

42:06Kate Berlant:all night or just like live air like they're in the military yeah they just under the they just

42:11Jacqueline Novak:like stay awake all night get followers it's really fun i was like these are my daughters back to being grateful to being child free oh i hear my dad okay it is dinner time so i think i

42:22Kate Berlant:have to go okay all right love you okay great okay love you bye

42:29Jacqueline Novak:That was POOG! If you enjoyed POOG, please subscribe, rate and review. If not, we will press charges.