O'Doul's and Diet Coke

10:24Jacqueline:Well, yeah, it is elder abuse. They don't let you cancel. And it's, what was the one that really fucked with me? Well, then they start offering you the deals.

10:34Kate:They go, are you sure? 30 % off. I think once or twice they got me to it. I go, fine.

10:38Jacqueline:Well, it's really annoying because you're like, so this was here the whole time? This is why, you know, you have to negotiate like you have nothing to lose. Remember when Rocket Money is like, we'll negotiate for you. it's like what are you talking about well that was the one i went down on and then now i've now i'm i'm somehow maybe it'll work out for me but i'm i'm now on monarch okay i saw an advertisement i clicked through the way i'm like it's like remember my old days early days instagram i was the one person who loved the ads okay i was like this is where you're going to shop you love the ads now it's like that like on reddit they're like like have you i'm curious do you get pushed motion a lot no what's that motion no what's that productivity okay i mean it's like it's like your calendar like whatever it's a whole thing and and then there's like these other ones like i saw those motion ads and i was so irritated by them until i tried it i'm like that's me oh wow and then like now i'm waiting for third wave of the ad campaign where they go i saw the ones where the people act like they were annoyed by the thing and then they got it and they love it i saw those i was annoyed by those and now i yeah anyway point is you know i'm

11:46Kate:a haizu off instagram well that i get and then i got fed and i go huh and then i go haizu reddit and i guess there's like fake haizu websites or something people go and counterfeit haizu

11:57Jacqueline:or some people going like haizu is a scam well haizu looks like the classic mechanical 80s yeah which you know finally you get i never the vibrating always is sort of a nothing to me yeah it hurts but haizu see but again i will abuse it so see how have you noticed me doing this move okay so i have the headache and i know it's like even though i know it's from i believe this and crunching some nerve and now now the whole everything is everywhere it feels like all the muscles need to be warmed and stretched okay and pulled off of the pain and so then this is where i make the mistakes again remember i went snip okay you want to cut your own cut my own like tendons and muscles then okay so so i've been doing this i don't know if you've noticed okay i'm going it's too tight in here right it's not supposed to be that tight they say the termini's in there you're supposed to be pressing them right so ready so i'm going right now i'm going i'm just gonna hang off my own hang off my own clavicle that feels kind of good i know so then i'm going so point this this because the whole thing is puffiness in your face see what it feels like okay and put a little weight on it uh nothing platysma are you being served the whole thing is

13:07Kate:Is that your face is puffy because it's not draining. It's not draining. Everything's getting clogged here. The neck, when your neck is tight, it pulls down your face. That I buy. Your face isn't sagging. It's that your neck muscles are so tight. They're going. Yes.

13:22Jacqueline:We all remember a year ago when you said to me, doesn't it seem like it would be good for the neck muscles to be tight? Keep things tight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's the opposite. Look how she learned. I never let people forget their previous ignorance. That's a joke. But imagine what a hideous clogged that would be. Do you see your reaction on my chest? No. Be honest. I see nothing. There's like this, there's a texture thing.

13:40Kate:See that?

13:40Jacqueline:Oh, oh. Yeah, you see that? No, well, I do, but I go that. Never used to have that. It's just funny that someone would see that and think that's anything. But look this. That's what it should be. For example, I see nothing. So, oh, yeah. Well, it's almost the same. Hold on. I want to see if my doctor is applied. I'm sorry. I know I'm really like soaring on the Celsius. Okay. But look. I love when you say that. I want you to try something. Okay. Okay. Okay. Rest the hand like there, but with skin. So it sort of grabs. Okay. Okay, now feel the stretch and the platysma. Try to feel it. Are you pulling down a little bit with a hand on the skin?

14:13Kate:Yeah.

14:14Jacqueline:Are you getting anything? Keep going. Do you feel the jaw? Does your jaw respond with incredible tension? And then try to relax it. I feel something.

14:24Kate:The point is, what do you do with a barista who seems to have a personal fucking grudge against you and you haven't done shit? I mean, I'm hesitant to go public. there's this barista that my local coffee shop oh and i'm chatting friendly with everyone neighborhood spa everyone's she fucking hates my ass i go what happened here i go i fuck your wife yeah why are you mad at me sweetie it's almost made has made me almost laugh a couple times and i've seen her and i go maybe that's her i've seen her face drop she's like yeah see you next me not exaggeration oh can i have this no thank you okay no no i know i almost have to come see

15:09Jacqueline:that i think i want you to come see it live no i wonder it's so crazy techniques i go in first i sit alone with sunglasses okay i wait okay i watch you come in now here's here's three stages okay of observation of control we'll actually come in you don't clock her you try not to clock her yet so in other words i'm gonna watch you roll i would love this and then see if she registers oh she's coming in right i need you i'd see her i need someone to really observe this because i've

15:40Kate:almost because it's like it can't be personal here's here's what i know not to be presumptuous i know like i wasn't rude it's not like i fucking did something weird where i'm an asshole it's just so it has to be personal but what could it be it's almost like she's performing how much she hates me it hurts my feelings now what what could and by the way i go careful because if you catch you on a bad day i'm gonna go what of course what is it sweetheart i go you want to fight let's fight

16:10Jacqueline:do you want to fight with me i don't understand i need to know face drops do you think and i do

16:16Kate:i do the standard of course i'm saying honda i think a couple times i've even tried like yeah or something just a little yeah it's like she does this to me literally what do you want bitch is what she's saying to me. And then do you watch her with others after? And she's normal? No, I saw a guy, like a normal guy, like a man. And I saw her say to him, like, yeah, like they're having a little chat. Yeah, and then literally I walk up, watch the drop in touch away, I go.

16:42Jacqueline:Now, you're not a dummy, okay? But I still have to pose a possible question. I want you to come see. Is there some chance that she's so starstruck? No. Okay, then the only thing she can think to do I love that read. is panic i love and become rude to lock something down she's so mean to me like a little hustle

17:02Kate:grinds it on the celsius okay she's so like that it actually blocks the possibility like maybe i need to try right ow oh my god look see look at this like skin peeling something's wrong and no one cares my doctors i i need i need 9-11 i mean 9-1 i need to call okay anyway well i haven't

17:22Jacqueline:I picked up, remember I went last week, Rosacea, whatever. They put in the scripts. I haven't even gone to pick them up. Aren't I wild? They got me like three scripts for my Rosacea, and I'm like, oh, yeah. Rosacea's everywhere.

17:35Kate:Okay, but wait, wait, wait. I thought you'd be impressed for them. I can't even say to her. She has such a thing going on that I can't even really be like, what's your name? I almost want to go, I come in here a lot, you know. I've never really introduced myself. Hi, I'm Kate. like it's like i don't know what how to break through and i would go just ignore it's not about you i know it's not about me yeah that's that's her she's on her journey with me i'm stimming

17:59Jacqueline:again i'm sorry i'm stimming i just want to ask a quick question which is can you hear yes they can hear okay cute so they're gonna love that that's gonna be a cute new thing on the podcast okay so here's what i'm thinking what about what about this i need you to come observe let me just

18:11Kate:think of what could i do hi how are you and then i but then i sound like a fake bitch hi how are you today i don't need someone to there i understand you're fucking you're at work you're like i don't need you i'm not expecting some you know what i mean i'm just trying to think but but why would

18:28Jacqueline:she so actively want you to see her disdain for you which is what it sounds like right no that's what it sounds like so when someone is like that i've seen her a little it's not like with everyone could she be confusing you with a public figure who has like you know you know what's really ugly

18:43Kate:When I was in, where was I? London. I was in a certain area of London. Few people thought I was someone else. I went to a restaurant and they go, hey, you're back.

18:52Jacqueline:We saw how you voted on the latest whatever. I know, I know. They think you're like, you know what I'm saying? No, I know. We don't like what you've done to our community. Exactly. And we're not afraid to say it.

19:01Kate:It's not me. They think you are. I don't know what the fuck is going on. But actually today, I was like, anyway, will you please come observe? No, I'm so curious that I'm like, I want to go right now.

19:15Jacqueline:Well, it's today. We got to make sure that we're there when she's in. You know her days? What day of the week is it? Lulu and Georgia. These are my kids. Lulu and Georgia and Serena and Luli. And my fourth, my fifth son, Nordic Nots. Yeah. That's cute.

19:31Kate:Nordic.

19:32Jacqueline:Nordica. What about Nordica?

19:34Kate:Nordica. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. So anyway, that was hard today. and I'm going to get to the bottom of it. I don't know how. And I think I have to go in there. I was fantasizing. I go, do I have to fake a heart attack? Do I have to go in there and have some kind of medical thing? So she'll save you? So she'll save me and then I'll go, now we're connected. Interesting. You go victim.

19:54Jacqueline:You sometimes go victim damsel. I think I have to go,

19:56Kate:hi, can I get a...

19:58Jacqueline:Sorry. I don't think I was going to help you.

20:00Kate:Oh boy.

20:03Kate:I need to... No, no. I don't think it's victim. So interesting. You think that'll work? I go, hey, can I get a... Oh, you have an eyelash. Make a wish, though. What can I do to break it?

20:14Jacqueline:Let me play it. Let me play it. Let's try it. Let me see intuitively what happens, okay? Okay, okay, okay. Hey, how's it going? Wait, who's that? Me? No, no, I'm being you. You be the barista. Okay, okay, okay. This is what she fucking does. Okay. Hi. We don't know each other, right? No, bitch. Oh. But she jumped a bitch. I don't know. Sorry, get that on my track. Let's do it. I'm going to do it real. I'm going to do it real. Okay, so this is her. She's doing something. Hi. Sorry. Can I get a... Do we know each other? You look so familiar.

20:49Kate:Sorry. I work here.

20:51Jacqueline:No, I know. But I was like, I thought I knew... Sorry. I was thinking for a second. I was like, do we actually know each other? Because I saw you and I was like, I know her. Not from here. And then I was like, damn, I've just been ordering for coffee for you for this long and didn't realize you didn't grow up in the East Coast? No. By the way, this is good shit. Really? Yeah.

21:11Kate:All right, let's try again. I'm trying fresh. It's what? Maybe that's how I'll break through. Because people soften. I'm not saying she's a bad person. I'm going, something's going on. Either I fucked her wife. There's either some crazy grudge that she has with me. I don't have grudges in this town. My name is clean. Okay. Ow, ow, ow. Wait, wait, what? I'm so mad.

21:29Jacqueline:I'm so mad. What? Your head? Just the same headache, but the laugh like knocked my brain. It really went wild with that. You need water.

21:38Kate:You're only having Celsius. She's drinking Celsius and a coffee.

21:41Jacqueline:Well, that's how I grew up. My dad would be like, I don't know why I'm so thirsty. I only had O'Doul's and Diet Coke. I mean, I said it wrong. You know what I mean? I had two O'Doul's and three Diet Cokes and a cup of coffee. I never drink water. Did your dad not drink? No, no. He'll drink, but like he's thirsty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there was a brief period where he was like, I like the taste. He's like, I like hops. You gotta get him hop water. Well, yeah, now it's a whole new thing. Wait, wait, wait. Go back, go back. Although he's saying AG1, suddenly he's lost his taste for hops.

22:15Kate:I tell you, I went to, what airport was that? There's an AG1 kiosk and they're like chocolate AG1. I go, that's not AG1.

22:22Jacqueline:It was. No.

22:24Kate:That chocolate AG1. It's funny because remember we pitched, you know, we said savory.

22:28Jacqueline:We did? Well, I sure did. We said cut the stevia.

22:32Kate:Oh, I know. I don't need you to sweeten that shit.

22:34Jacqueline:But we all remember. Okay.

22:37Kate:you know we left them ag1 i'll never forget i'll just say quickly jacqueline goes i don't know about ag1 anymore we gotta look into the science whatever i go hey hey i support you ag1 comes back they go we want to talk about this jacqueline novak secures a call with the fucking i'm not kidding president of ag1 it's the president of the ceo i think it's the ceo of ag1 he goes yeah do you want to get on tuesday at three jacqueline gets back she's like i can't make it and then we never made the call and they're no longer a sponsor well i'll say it once and i'll say it

23:10Jacqueline:again you have 60 ingredients in a tiny spoon and all those ingredients are things that clinically you have to have a freaking tablespoon of to have an effect no i know i don't understand it either i don't it's not and then they're like and it's all inulin and i mean i i know you know someone

23:23Kate:else can look it up wait but really quick back to the barista i see what you're doing is interesting because you melt away i'm like how could i not melt her away with that well let me try yeah i try another one do i know you from somewhere that's too weird but just going i and i wasn't i wasn't thinking it could i do a fake name is your name blah blah and she goes no and i go

23:40Jacqueline:no that's not good that's not good let me see what pops out again okay okay no that by the way i'm gonna come in with a different intention people okay okay i'm gonna come in with an intention that i don't know what i want to order and there's a line i'm not sure how it's gonna fly but okay okay i'm her i'm her um okay i would love an iced shit uh sorry um i want an uh hot do you have almond milk or no sorry sorry do you have soy no let me guess almond cashew i'm just kidding we have almonds and oh yeah yeah yeah okay uh no one has soy anymore i don't expect anyone to have it um all right this is fake let me try again i thought it was really good acting actually oh

24:17Kate:Thank you.

24:17Jacqueline:All right. Let me try again. You can get deep into it. All right. All right. All right. Hi. Can I please get a iced double? How many shots come in an iced latte? Regular size. And are they double shots? A standard shot is a double. Standard shot is two shots. I know. But you know what I mean? I think I want to do like a quad. Okay. Two shots. A double. Really? I mean, sorry. Right. It just like not six maybe. Like if I get a quad at Starbucks.

24:52Kate:If you want four shots of espresso. Yeah. We can make that happen.

24:57Jacqueline:All right. Just sorry. I'll have a nice espresso. Double it. Okay. Flipping the iPad. Sorry, guys. That was the worst. I know. That was really like that was one of my worst coffee orders. I'm sorry. I'm flipping the. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Hold on. Oh. What's your name? Oh, it doesn't recognize me. Okay. Jacqueline.

25:20Kate:Okay, next.

25:22Jacqueline:Sorry, I really will be better next time. Now I'm making it even slower, but... That's okay. Are you okay? Sorry, I started to get mad. I started to get mad. I get fucking mad. I get mad. It brings up anger.

25:34Kate:Because I go, I go... Again, I don't need you to roll. I don't need you to go, how are you, sweetheart? Of course not. God, I love your hair. Of course not. You need nothing. I don't expect anything, but... I don't even mind this. Okay. I get you. da da da okay hey hey hey hey i get it we're all trying to get to the goddamn day it's but this what can i get you bitch that i mean i'm trying to think where where that's happened for me by the way what if this gets to her well what if she's watching right now i bet she is why do you hate me sweetheart i come in i'm nice it's good i don't need to be best friend you tell me i would

26:10Jacqueline:like a little good morning you're telling me i go to the coffee shop for community i have a horrible idea what what if you've you've shit on a barista on the podcast before i've never she made it herself no we've talked like you know about bad barista experiences yeah well remember that that bastard that man under the bridge in in brooklyn who was like who was like to me he was like he was like you don't really want that that much it was a whole thing made no sense because he also he was

26:37Kate:like that's too much coffee you're like i think i can take it yeah wow he probably had a big old crush on you he didn't he didn't i but no i don't i don't remember i don't recall any barista drama this is what breaks my heart is that the same coffee shop i'm exchanging hair product

26:55Jacqueline:rex with other baristas yeah having fun how the hell are you how's your wife having fun in there

27:02Kate:how's your wife the one i didn't fuck yeah the one i didn't fuck and her something about it and you've watched her interact with others. I'm going in my deep, I'm going in my deep history. I go, listen, I'm not trying to say, actually, I want to take a minute with this. It's really scary when you realize I have a face that I make, like I'm expressive. Right. And I make, and this is what we all do. We make faces. My friend was telling me a story. He thought this person hated him because of a glance that she did at a party at him. And I said, there's no way you just caught like a moment and this is what happens in life it's terrifying i know there are people that i probably looked at yeah where i'm having some internal and i go like this yeah and then they cross and then they think i'm doing that like right so we all have to go through life of course we got hey it's not about you it's not about you and that really is the truth yeah of course so i'm like is it possible that i because i'm looking at my history i'm going i don't fight with people i don't get in friendliness every time still to her you'd think it would happen

28:03Jacqueline:one time I made it like I don't know I think I think she thinks you're someone who did something

28:09Kate:fucked up I think so too I think there's a personal fucking I think there's some there's some weird like it sounds it's weird drama and I'm not involved in it because my record's clean check my books yeah okay I'm and all you have to do is check your own books I've checked my books okay am I a fucking saint of course hey have we all but but I haven't done anything for I haven't

28:32Jacqueline:again my name is this reminds me of when i was treated cruelly in an antique shop okay when i went in there kissing motherfucking ass okay i went in there tip towing around should i put my back foot down i would never want to strap my backpack to knock into something and it was like the reaction was as though i was a dare i say bull in a china shop okay yeah and it was really bizarre and acting like i know this is why it's not personal sometimes Sometimes something happens where – Oh, well, Jacqueline. Well, you know about complementary schismogenesis, okay? What? It's a term I learned in college, okay?

29:09Jacqueline:Linguistics, social linguistics class, whatever. Two people doing a behavior – Say it again? Complementary. Okay. Schismo. Schismo. Okay. Sounds about right, right? Okay. So two people are doing a thing. one person's doing a thing to make the other person do a certain thing but that behavior is causing them to do the opposite and it increases okay cool cool cool so like um so let's say you're being like really loud yeah okay so like be loud

29:38Kate:from it i am i'm loud yeah you try to bring me down that makes me louder yeah because you're like almost think like i have a friend like that who she speaks very loudly actually it's been a while but she used to be no she used to be pounding the restaurant and i would bring it down she'd go what are you getting a place like this i go well i really like to get the i would try to bring her down and she didn't it doesn't work yeah i think you actually have to highlight the

30:00Jacqueline:loudness maybe they'll recognize it in another not themselves a lot of us can't see it in themselves because i go i can barely hear you so should i go get to a risa hi bitch yeah what about coffee

30:11Kate:time yeah yeah okay let's try that by the way and this is what i'm not proud of a couple times she's been so mean to me yeah that i kind of go back i go good girl i say i'm not being rude but But I'm just going, okay, fine. I'll give you nothing too.

30:26Jacqueline:Unless, but you've seen her do different things with different people. I know, I know.

30:29Kate:Could she be stunned by your baby browns? No, there's no way. Maybe that's why she, I should go, do you have a crush on me? Because you're pretty mean to me. That would actually be kind of, yeah. Anyway, why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Wait, wait, I was going to say something.

30:47Jacqueline:Have you done any? I'm surprised you haven't done any just I'm going to try to make her laugh. I can't even get my Top Hat app because I'm so fucking scared of her. That's amazing. I think early on I tried to go –

30:57Kate:Early on I tried to do kind of – even what you did. Can I get it? Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm holding up the line. Actually, I want to – I tried to do a little of that to go – and she's still – uh-huh. But I want to talk quickly about something. Is she sort of femme or masc? Masque. There's something about people. I saw it in that last representation. There's a rage thing. I'm hesitant to even bring this up because I'm like, well, it compromised my safety. there is a man on my block who is literally crazy, evil, psycho Grinch times a thousand. Okay. We moved in. Neighbor kind of warned us about him.

31:31Kate:Go, yeah, that guy in the truck. Like he's kind of crazy. I go, okay, well, whatever. He fucking screamed at me in the street for, no, no, no, I'm not kidding. We're such a crazy thing. Moving my car, like a non-issue, like a non-issue where I was moving. And then he go, you fucking bitch. No, no, no, no, no. screaming and i actually was so alarmed i go wait i must be like hearing that like this can't be happening like it's like the radio or something it was so crazy pulls away he can be heard screaming fucking bitch it was so fucking scary i texted the neighbor i go i think i just had my first interaction with the crazy guy and she's like you had your first jerry she was like he's like maga like i mean that's the fucking least of it but like he's really crazy i go oh yeah i can tell he's crazy that's why i have to cut this what if he sees this what if he's at home yeah yeah yeah He's going, eh.

32:21Kate:I know, exactly. But then it was so sad because he screamed at a woman. Like, we heard him outside screaming, and the woman was like, you should be nicer to people. Devastating. I wanted to write that and go, it's not you, sweetheart. He has severe, you know, issues. So I'm just saying, sometimes the rage really is, someone has, like, the rage just goes and it hits whoever it is. But with the barista, it's me, sweetheart. This isn't someone who's, like, deeply disturbed that anyone who crosses their path are going to get it.

32:49Jacqueline:You didn't go on six dates with this person and break their heart?

32:52Kate:I'm positive I didn't break her heart, ZD.

32:54Jacqueline:No, I know. Maybe you did just by existing, by parading those baby blues. I go, what have you heard? Bouncing that little, okay, mop into this store. Okay, I know what you're like.

33:04Kate:By the way, by the way, maybe she thinks I'm annoying. That's fair. Okay? Maybe she thinks I'm annoying. Okay. Bouncing in. I like my sunglasses.

33:13Jacqueline:You always got a little bounce.

33:16Kate:Do an impression of me ordering coffee, what you think it is.

33:22hi that's a hard one wait wait let me think because like you're pretty um hi like uh you

33:27Jacqueline:know you're pretty i go so high sometimes oh no no i'm sure i'm talking about this but it's like i just think like every time when i'm not heard by the waiter when i call for them or something in me that's so embarrassed that every single time i go i go um oh excuse me could i oh oh yeah every single time i said like i said like love you to a server recently i was like

33:47Kate:Sorry, sorry, I love you.

33:48Jacqueline:I was like, you said love you to our producer who you're meeting for the second time as things were starting. That was real.

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37:27Kate:Explosive meal last night. Very hard to get into a restaurant. Shout out to Herman's. Who the hell did you go with? Real shout out to Fiona, the waitress, who at the end said, the server rather, I've heard waitress's derogatory term in this town now. Sue me, I thought it was a cute term. But server Viona, and if she's watching or listening, Viona, I owe you an apology. I heard Fiona. I repeated back Fiona. My partner said, I think it's Viona. Check the receipt. It is Viona. I didn't have a time to correct myself. I'm sure her whole life she's getting Fiona said back to her.

37:59Jacqueline:And then to hear a living legend say Fiona. And I go, Viona? I've never heard that.

38:02Kate:That's a beautiful name. Viona?

38:03Jacqueline:Beautiful. Anyway, incredible meal. Wait, this is an interesting question. All the F names that could be V's. Vred. um francesca bran yeah ranny none of these are really doing it for me fiona viona villop

38:21Kate:oh villop is interesting viona though gorgeous name and what i just want to say this sorry i'm doing it again i want to say this what was the it feels so good well a couple things at the

38:31Jacqueline:restaurant now these come on new for everyone who comes in right this is my special one you're

38:35Kate:Grazing that with ancestors. But I'll just say this quickly. A lot of the food was great. Best martini I've ever had. Are you fucking serious? And it was frozen. Maybe had MSG in it. I literally said to her, I go, you got to go to Kyoto to get this. Fucking my every word. Ice cold in a way. I take a sip. I go, whoa. You're fucking serious? I go, what's science? How this cold? You know what she tells me? Imagine she goes, freeze the glass first. Oh, no. So the martinis are pre-batched. Maybe I'm not supposed to know that. But the point is, I go, and that's professional. Is it? No, no, no, no, no.

39:12Kate:Listen. Because someone goes, oh, a martini made just for me. Yeah. Why? I don't know. I'm thinking about it. Because guess what? Perfect fucking ratio. Unbelievable ratio. You know. Vermouth. No, I'm interested. Fucking perfect ratio. I'm interested. In the freezer. And if we were there. Put a bottle in the freezer. It's ice cold. You're not getting it that cold in a shaker. But it's very interesting. because fundamentally... It's an emotional response. People go, I want it made just for me.

39:35Jacqueline:I don't know, but... So they have a twist, they have a dirty... Okay, the just for me is a relent. Okay, okay. I have a special thing about July because it's my birthday month. Okay. Okay, the for me, I don't think it's... I mean, for some of us, I don't think it's about for me so much as the idea that the ingredients freshly hit each other in a certain way. That is... Yeah, but with alcohol, here's the thing,

39:55Kate:with something like that, you go vermouth, it was dirty. It was remarkable. I'm not saying it's better.

40:02Jacqueline:And by the way, I want to be very clear because I'm a whatever. If I was sitting there and Viana was explaining this to me, okay, I'd be going, now that's how you do it. You want, everyone thinks, oh, they want to, you want, you know. She kind of said it like it's a little bit like, oh. I could argue for it.

40:15Kate:Oh, she said. She said it a little bit like, believe it or not, because I go, oh, wow. Because I go, this is exceptional. Pre-batch. I had a fantasy. And then you go, exceptional. I took two sips of this martini. I had a full fantasy. I go, I'm going to the bar. I'm saying something. I'm going directly to the bar. I'm going to go, who made this? and then they go in from the flat belly

40:31Jacqueline:from Tampa and it still is amazing flat belly in a plastic flat belly truck you know flat belly like you always say like you know yeah yeah that's what I meant flat belly

40:41Kate:you're saying the martini mix was in the flat belly

40:43Jacqueline:yeah I'm saying the surprise that behind the thing there's little bottles it was a canned martini it came from Florida okay it was un-fucking-believable because you you chilled it

40:54Kate:the bartender by the way looking

40:56Jacqueline:obscenely hot man We're saving money on Mountain Valley and Saratoga water, okay, right now, you know, because we're trying to cut back. Pull back. Well, yeah. With the glass, I remember I got a case. Mine is the Mountain Valley. Okay. Lover is the Mountain Valley. How much is that? 16 months? 75 a month? I don't know. It's up there. And then I like the blue bottle right now. And so we're using our Aqua True. And then we're refilling those. It's glass bottled, cold, Aqua True in the fridge. Lovely. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with it. But if you can, you know, keep the alchemy true clean.

41:28Jacqueline:I have a pure water one.

41:29Kate:I have an under-the-thing filter, under the sink.

41:33Jacqueline:Chris was questioning your claim that there's Gerolsteiner at Jerry's house. Really? And he goes, maybe in that one.

41:40Kate:Whoa, really? I thought it was universal. I don't know. Well, get it. You can get it fast.

41:44Jacqueline:It's pure medicine. Oh, but you sent Anastasia, right? Yeah. To me, was it a thing about this? Yeah. I do want to know how to do it.

41:57Kate:She kind of went like that's advanced. She's like, you got to start slow. She said like you shouldn't just start grabbing that. But I'm like three years in. I know. I'm saying you're advanced. I'm not. I mean, a lot of people can't grab it. What? Do you do it and go, oh, I'm drinking. I've never seen a difference from anything in my life except for like two creams. Which creams, bitch? This is like breaking news. This is huge. I know. I know. One was. Oh, by the way, Caglia. I'll never forget. I took Caglia to London. Oh, my God.

42:25Jacqueline:Except then you go, was it the London water?

42:26Kate:No, no, erase forehead lines. I go, what the fuck? And then I had my whole thing. I had a whole pitch for them. My Caglia made me do it.

42:34Jacqueline:No.

42:34Kate:Can you imagine? Because you're feeling so gorgeous. You're like, my Caglia made me do it. Yeah, whatever. But then I heard later, it plateaus. This isn't anything against Caglia. Just that kind of product. You want to be circling it in and out. You don't use it. You're not using that every day for three years. You hit it and quit it or something. There's a term for this. Yeah.

42:51Jacqueline:Qualia senolytic. Okay, the thing that clears out all the zombie cells. Okay, you do it once a month. two doses. What are you talking about? I've told you about this. How we're weighed down by the zombie cells, the dead ones, the dead copies. And our muscles are just loading. So you go, Qualia, a nice brand. By the way, I tried to go to them, get free stuff for us. They're like, yeah, we're not sure that's not an answer for us. It's like, it is. It is the audience. It literally is.

43:15Kate:Everyone needs to go to the Caglia Instagram page right now, tag Poob Podcast and go Poob Podcast sent me here. Well, they did send it to us, to be clear. They did.

43:23Jacqueline:And by the way, I've been meaning to bring this up, okay? Oh, here we go. 30 days have long passed with Sleep 8. Oh, my God, Sleep 8. And by the way, you bastards, we posted a fucking medley of all of our Sleep 8, 8 sleep. They've actually disrespected at this point. And then a hag put together a little deck. That got sent out? That got sent straight to the people. And they go, yeah, we'll keep this in mind. We'll keep that in mind for, you know, if any future partnership opportunities come up. excuse me so this is the last free marketing everyone needs you're getting everyone needs

44:00Kate:to go to eight sleep tag poop podcast brought me here what have you done for them yeah you take two

44:05Jacqueline:beds to the hosts of poog now two king covers also people want to hear about us they want to hear about us experiencing it i just like whatever i was watching it and i go and i started to type in Sturm caved So will you Or something But then I decided To back off

44:24Kate:By the way You know what's cute This is community building And I want everyone To hear this Because this is my new life And this is what happens When we We say no to Amazon And we say yes to life Yes Because listen to this And I want you to hear this

44:41Wait Hello This is Stories Calling about the book order

44:47Kate:Yes

44:52hi this message is for kate this is stories books calling to let you know the two books

44:56Kate:you ordered love junkie and lying life of adults are here and ready for pickup we've got the books on hold behind the register i mean couldn't you cry by the way me going that's nice i don't need to what am i going to do i go into a bookstore i wonder if they're stalking how to leave in public i went in there on saturday less than a week later the books are there wow well by the way to wait for something also earn a book because here's the thing when you just are reading books earn a book you're in a book reading a book is earning a book sure is earn a book i go those are my next books you would have loved john read me the first it's the most recent uh ferrante book and like the opening paragraph is like her discussing overhearing her father say she's ugly as like a child i go oh honey i'm in and then she has this thing i'm i like want to find it and She's...

45:43Kate:Remember the thing? Read a little Fronte on the cast? Wait, what do you mean? Wait.

45:48Jacqueline:I think I've brought this before. Look, coffee scene, copy of Hermetica, Lost Wisdom of the Pharaohs. Let's see what we got here. Good read. I've tried to bring this in before. Oh, look, look. Want to see some marginalia? By the way, I'm going to start dropping this in the... No, show me. Instagram hag... Oh, wait, can I actually read you the opening paragraph? The broadcast for dropping links is live. Hermetica.

46:09Kate:Wait, can I please read you for something, please? Yes. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Book club. Two years before leaving home, my father said to my mother that I was very ugly. The sentence was uttered under his breath in the apartment that my parents, newly married, had bought in Rio Nalto at the top of Vanzangio Comota de Capri. Everything, the spaces of Naples, the blue light of a very cold February, those words remained fixed. But I slipped away and I'm still slipping away within these lines that are intended to give me a story. While in fact, I am nothing, nothing of my own, nothing that has really begun or has been brought to completion.

46:46Kate:Only a tangled knot and nobody, not even the one who at this moment is writing, knows if it contains the right thread for a story or is merely a snarled confusion of suffering without redemption.

47:01Kate:I know. I know. And I go, yeah, I'll be reading it. A snarled confusion of suffering without redemption. I go. Without redemption, damn. It's called, what are we doing? Are we writing? I know. Are we getting to it or are we not? My face going, because.

47:19Jacqueline:It rocks.

47:23Jacqueline:My beloved Napoli, remember? One of the only places abroad I've spent any time. I don't speak Italian.

47:29Kate:That's why I had to kind of in a joking tone. do that but yeah i have never been in naples on vulture driven through okay i saw a little um

47:40Jacqueline:what's that no this is this is in the hermetica i'm not like i don't what's hermetica again where are you with marcus aurelius well the stuff's good and uh but you know sometimes when people bring it back like a Ryan Holiday who I respect very much. Who's that? He um sort of Oh is this like optimizing? Oh okay. He's good like he's actually pretty like like I mean he's good like he um tries to live live the stoic stuff and he writes uh he does these books whatever point is it's good you know you know don't let the modernization or the modern presentation turn you off, I say. So go where you need to go.

48:24Jacqueline:Take the form you want to take. What's that book? So this is Discover the Secret Teachings at the Heart of Western Thought. The figure of Hermes was venerated as a great and mythical teacher in the ancient world and was rediscovered by some of the finest minds of the Renaissance. The writings attributed to his hand are a time capsule of Egyptian and Greek esoteric philosophy and have been influenced figures like Blake, Newton, Milton, Gelli, Shakespeare, Patagelli, Leonardo da Vinci, and Jung. Here's the first truly accessible compendium. Okay. Mystical philosophy attributed to the legendary sage god Hermes.

49:00Jacqueline:Oh, yeah. This is always thrice greatest Hermes. Okay. Trismegistris. I'm not sure if that's how you say it. Hermetico is a fascinating introduction. Blah, blah, blah. This isn't the greatest description I've ever heard, and I'll be bringing some other stuff in, but it doesn't matter. The point is, do you want to hear? I just like fragment. Yeah. When did I draw on that with pencil? And all I see, and I'm not saying anything other than this, let's see what it was. This living death. Okay. I'm interested. This living death, this conscious corpse, this portable tomb, this robber in the house, the enemy that hates all you love.

49:38Jacqueline:Ignorance of the soul is impossible to be permanently happy while attached to a body. A man should train his soul in this life so that when he enters another world where he's able to see a tomb, he does not lose his way. well that's that's i've been pushing this for years strain the ghost while you're here oh my god oh my god reading like something depthful and going exactly what i've been saying that's what you've been saying for years she's gone i need neck support and i need it now i know you know but i used to love to do stuff like this right where i used to love to frighten my friends okay with things like this like where it starts to look not like uh to like be like be like be like wow what is that yeah yeah yeah that's actually pretty good

50:26Kate:oh my god oh my god oh my god i've never done that i've never done that i've never done that

50:38Jacqueline:Oh, sorry.

50:39Kate:Was it good? Yeah.

50:41Jacqueline:Whoa. That's the kind of stuff I did as a child.

50:44Kate:That's good.

50:45Jacqueline:I used to love in class to, I did a little shtick for the other children. You have to. I watch this and I go, and you pretend that you're in class quietly and that you suddenly realize you're going to throw up. Slowly you realize you're going to throw up and that you have to bolt in the classroom. Yeah. So this is a fun bit to do. So you're like, you're like, really slow build. Take like minutes with it. really milk it, make the other students watch. They know, I mean, it would be like, it wasn't like I was pretending to do it.

51:12Kate:I'd be like, here's a play

51:14Jacqueline:called I'm About to Throw Up. I want to watch it. God, acting's fun.

51:17Kate:Let's do a little

51:18Jacqueline:acting before we leave.

51:19Kate:Okay. We did a lot of acting today.

51:20Jacqueline:I know. But I got excited about it. Let's try a game in which the pen is father. Yeah.

51:28Kate:You're at

51:28Jacqueline:the racetrack.

51:29Kate:You're watching the horses. Your horse. Yeah. You're watching your horse. You think he's about to win and he loses no no it's harder it's harder to act yay i'm so happy oh one time horrible i got

51:41Jacqueline:invited to this horrifying thing okay where it was like yeah there's an opportunity um like a legendary casting agent who works at whatever oh that she's having a small thing today where are you and a couple other clients and you're all gonna go in she's gonna do a little workshop and you go into like an office building and go into like this room and they're like great like two people i know in there okay and it's like and the casting director like has apparently like um maybe they sent like like a little sides before or something okay but you know it was like whatever show up and then she so first like could have got mad at everyone who hadn't prepared and then it was like i chose these based on like what i saw of you online kind of like you know is this new york yeah yeah and then we all have to get up and fucking do it in front of the rest of the group that's crazy okay guess what my fucking script was like okay and i had like a meltdown like like basically in front of the whole room yeah i'm sure i mean because my script was the little script it was like you're like it's a boy no no it's worse it's worse it's worse it's like yes yes i will marry you okay it's like oh my god like i've wanted this forever and like you know like it was like yes yes a thousand times yes or something okay okay and I and I'm like I just don't like I was like so what are we doing here like whatever that woman is if you're asking me to play that like okay right yeah yeah yeah but like like why kind of you know what I mean like there's got to be something like more like that's scary but I also struggle that like I also struggle with um not believing that the simple could ever just be the thing like oh my my god you know that's really disturbing usually that's never it yeah like um yeah like like because even in life even in life uh even in life what i'm sorry even in life like i remember my cousin when she was tween and she was going out for commercial auditions okay and she was talking to me about it and she was like well you know like it seems so cheesy like when you're describing a product like you know like it does this and she's like but actually when you are telling a friend about a product you kind of are like that you are yeah yeah totally you're like you're like i didn't know my hair could be this soft like it wasn't until i started using suave yeah that i found out the cheap stuff it's as good no no no i mean that but like um well by the way that's me

54:12Kate:i'm about to be because you know what i'm doing now with products yeah ceravee cedaphil no i know and i have an announcement is that i was looking up oh what do people do for i don't know rosacea skin allergy whatever i'm having neutrogena hydro boost water gel so i go deep onto reddit people going this is the shit there's one that's fragrance free i go well i want that one i have sensitive

54:35Jacqueline:skin because there's the one that's blue right it's sort of blue and silver yeah you know who told me about that eight years ago cola scola well by the way the sheet they discontinued

54:46Kate:the the fragrance free it's really confusing they have water gel they have water cream it's all crazy i go should i just get the fragrance one the fragrance free one now is called water cream and i look at reddit people go they change the formula of course if it's cream then it's not

54:59Jacqueline:gel so i go do i just try the water gel with the perfume it sounds tough it's a strong i mean i don't think it's you know it's clearly not fucking people up but honestly what you couldn't do remember skin school let's let's let's revisit the gals at skin school okay and see if they have um I bet they have some shit. Oh, I meant to tell you. So remember I tried on those Merrells and then, but I didn't end up getting them because I decided I wanted to. No, no. The slippers I've been wearing, but, and a couple of hags have purchased. Okay. My Merrells? As a result. The black. Well, those, yes, too.

55:36Jacqueline:The canvas. Yeah.

55:41Kate:The shoes that I started wearing that my mom was like, yeah, your dad wore those. I was like, oh yeah, my dad wore them for like 10 years. or whatever. Yeah. And then they carried me through Paris at Top Street.

55:48Jacqueline:So my friend Jeff, okay, we're out to dinner. Okay. He goes, I've heard a couple of mentions on the pod. He goes, you thinking about some marils, you know? And I'm like, sure am. Okay. And Liz is like, well, we wear marils and we've put our children in marils. So I don't know what else you need to hear. Okay. Wow. Okay. He says marils cured and foam rolling his calves. Okay. Yeah. But he said his podiatrist said, well, are you wearing Merrill's? No, stop. And he's like, no. He's like. Honey. Like, why would you even come to me before you come to the Merrill's shop? Like. That's huge. Why not try drinking a glass of water before going to the water doctor?

56:30Jacqueline:Oh, my God. Okay. So I was like, fuck.

56:32Kate:Merrill better be listening to this, by the way.

56:33Jacqueline:And he said, he said, and he showed me the ones. Maybe they're the Moabs or something, the boot. And there's a waterproof one. And there's another one. And then I remember one of the most incredible days in New York City where it was so fucking cold and so wet. There had been all this snow, but it was warming, so it was turning into slush, okay, years ago. Danger, danger. Out there walking. You know in the corners when there's the piles and then there's the big puddles and you have to leap?

56:54Kate:I've led old women through those piles. Okay. Yeah. Once.

56:59Jacqueline:So he got soaked through. His foot got soaked through and he was miserable. And he was under the belief that there was no way there would be any boots left in New York City, okay, because boots were out. Went to a couple places Upper West Side. okay on 72nd street this is a classic place is out no boots okay you're fucked right and we're like and there's gonna be more snow the whole thing i i always believe there's a way there's always someone willing to sell you what you need yeah keep going keep going we we head up okay he's so upset his feet are soaked through his he's freezing okay it's bad we find this like old school large shoe department store type place we go and they're like we've got you this is bringing

57:35Kate:I don't even have a memory. Did you and I go looking for a shoe? Oh, no, I did it in Japan years ago. Continue. I needed an emergency shoe because I was so cold. And the shoe store in Japan goes, we don't carry shoe sizes that big. You fucking American ape. Get out of here.

57:52Jacqueline:So, so, so, go on. There's no story here, but I refuse to say that anymore, okay? Because there is, right? Okay, the story is this. And they go here, try these marils, okay? And they go, and they're waterproof, okay? And they go, Ann, you're going to want to get some socks. Okay, because we were ice cold. He slips his socks. He slips his feet into the coziest socks you've ever seen. He then puts the socked feet into two Merrill boots. We head out. His feet are toasty and warm. And he's tromping through the very same wet snow and slush. And his smile from safe and warm inside those Merrills. And I'm going to remind you folks, this is not made for.

58:34Jacqueline:I'll never forget it. Okay. So I'm going. I said it. I said it to Jeff and Liz. I go, I'm doing it. I'm getting Merrell's. But which kind? Okay. Obviously Moab, but which color? Now here's the huge question. I go, waterproof or not? I go, why would anyone ever get not waterproof? And he goes, they can get a little hotter. I go, uh-oh. So as a Merrell expert. The point is, and I. She's writing down Merrell. Just Merrell. I'd like to meet Merrell. Imagine if there was a. Sorry. I know I'm really obsessed with this, but. our meryl a little patch with our faces on it totally absolutely half waterproof half not one shoe is genius because then one through one shoe you anchor in the puddle and bring the other one around and off you go yeah yeah that's good that's good yes and with that with that love you love you