In short
The episode is a comedic “wellness” chat about hotel experiences and “dime square tofu strategies,” focusing on how small service details (especially front-desk rudeness) affect wellbeing, plus what to eat for comfort and health.
Guests
Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak (hosts). No other guests appear in the transcript.
Guest backgrounds
Both are obsessive friends who frame the show as wellness conversation; they share personal travel/hotel stories and food experiments (tofu methods, oatmeal add-ins).
Key claims
Front-desk “active rudeness” ruins the whole day; “militaristic but smooth” service can be better than saccharine friendliness. Hotel comfort hinges on controllable climate and non-sticky flooring. Midweek spa use may be cleaner/less gross than weekend crowds.
Notable examples
Bowery Hotel check-in with rude desk staff; a Portland spa pool area with gross loungers/tumbleweed hair in a fire pit; hotel room laminate feeling sticky underfoot; frozen coffee “Go Get Them Tiger” tasting; tofu techniques (boiling in salted water, baking soda soak, air-fried tapioca starch/baking powder tofu).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOContextualizing Today's Episode
0:15 to 0:39
Jacqueline sets the stage for the discussion about hotel experiences.
“Today's topic, loosely speaking, dime square tofu strategies, key issue.”
Hotel Check-in Anecdote
0:39 to 2:52
Kate shares her frustrating hotel check-in experience and the lack of basic service.
“because, like, it could add up and be huge.”
Service Expectations and Experiences
2:52 to 9:01
Discussion on varying levels of service in hotels and personal preferences.
“I don't need you to fly to my goddamn side, but it's like kind of a classic with you in a minute, right?”
Hotel Experiences and Anecdotes
9:01 to 14:00
The hosts share more experiences and frustrations with hotel stays and front desk interactions.
“Like I got like woken up from a nap, right?”
Hotel Check-In Anecdotes
14:00 to 16:17
The hosts share humorous experiences from hotel check-ins and guest interactions.
“I mentioned this to my friend and he goes, oh yeah, my wife and I stayed there on our wedding night as a treat.”
Hotel Check-In Anecdotes
16:23 to 16:34
The hosts share humorous experiences from hotel check-ins and guest interactions.
“slash poog for free shipping and 365 day returns.”
Exploring Senescent Cells
16:45 to 17:45
Discussion on senescent cells and the impact of aging, featuring OneSkin products.
“My favorite topic, especially now that I know how to pronounce it.”
Reviewing a Recent Hotel Stay
17:59 to 27:36
Hosts reflect on their mixed experiences at a hotel and spa, discussing cleanliness and amenities.
“if I was going back again, because I was like, look, perform Portland fairly regularly.”
Episode Discussion
28:00 to 28:34
“Cozy Earth stands behind everything they make.”
Episode Discussion
28:36 to 36:07
“That's code HAGS for an exclusive 20 % off.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Jacqueline Novak:Hi, I'm Kate Berlant. I'm Jacqueline Novak. And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends, two untamable intellects. This is our hobby. This is our hell. This is our naked desire for free products. This is POOG.
0:15Kate Berlant:Today's topic, loosely speaking, dime square tofu strategies, key issue. Greetings, Jacqueline here. Going to contextualize this episode for you. Kate was texting me. She started to tell me about her hotel experience, and I just shot her back a link. So we were on the go, so to speak. Point is, into a convoy you go, and I'm sure you'll be able to find your footing. This is hysterical, and this is an experiment, because, like, it could add up and be huge. Fuck, it doesn't matter. But anyway, will you just catch me up on...
0:46Jacqueline Novak:I can't wait to tell you live. Yes. Okay, so I'm going to tell you live, and I hope this reaches the years. So I was at the Bowery having a lovely time, having an amazing time. Shout out to Dwight, the front desk, calls me KB, I love it.
1:04Kate Berlant:No. Yeah.
1:05Jacqueline Novak:Does he know? About what? Me?
1:09Kate Berlant:Yeah, your identity is KB. Yeah. I don't know why it's funny, but it is.
1:13Jacqueline Novak:No, it's amazing. He remembered me from last time. I stayed there with my mom. He's like, how's mom? It's heaven. so so okay so then work is putting me up a beautiful fancy hotel whatever so and i thank you and i had to check out the bowery at noon and i had an event today at three o 'clock so i was like i'm gonna call and see when the soonest they can get me in is so i can change and whatever so i call the front desk and i'm like hi um you know this is my name i'm checking in today i was wondering when the earliest you might be able to get me in is. And he's like, what? You know? And I was like, oh, and I say it again.
1:52Jacqueline Novak:He's like, oh, and then there was so much background noise on his end. It sounded like he was in like, like it was crazy. And I, so I repeated myself and I go, oh, sorry, there's just a lot of background noise. And he goes, well, it's a very busy day at the hotel. No, no. Yeah. And I actually, no. And I go, I'm actually going to call back because I was like, no sweetie no honey yeah um so i get there and it's like the little things right and right and by the way i want to preface this by saying i don't expect or like a heavy hand a saccharine like i'm not looking for anything crazy at all i don't need you to be like oh and roll out the red carpet like i'm talking about just basic normal like hi
2:38Kate Berlant:like i'm talking about the bare you'd take a if anything sometimes you know the over is like you don't like it don't waste my time kind of friendliness yeah and just like a like for example
2:49Jacqueline Novak:i'll say at the bowery there's like a warmth and like they're cool and lovely they're not going again it's not like cloying do you know what i mean anyway point is absolutely but here's like like to me this is a detail where i go it's just weird so i'm at the front desk right i come in with my big suitcase my backpack my purse whatever and neither of them look up to like acknowledge that i'm standing there i don't say like excuse me but it's like a little thing like that like by the way, finish what you're doing. I don't need you to fly to my goddamn side, but it's like kind of a classic with you in a minute, right?
3:19Jacqueline Novak:Or just an acknowledgement. So I'm standing there. I completely agree. Yeah. Just like a be right with you. Great. None of that. I'm standing. I'm standing. Eventually one of them looks at me and flatly says, look, can I help you? And I was like, hi, yes, I'm checking in. Blah, blah. Here's my ID. Is there any way I could get into it? I'm just hoping to get into a room soon so I can like take a shower or whatever. And he's like, at this point it's He's like, I could get you in at 1.30 or 2, but it would be on a lower floor. And I was like, that's okay. And then I looked and I'm sitting there waiting, waiting.
3:52Jacqueline Novak:So at like 2.45, I walk up to the desk. Meanwhile, no one's really there except for me and them, right? I walk up. He again, not looking up from his screen, goes in a really saccharine kind of like, can I help you? My God. I almost wanted to go, oh, do you remember me? It's like, you know what I'm here to ask. Yes. Like, again, it was the bare minimum kind of just like, and I was like, oh, I just wanted to say since it's 245, I'll just wait for the higher floor room. And he's like, I've already changed you to the other room. And I was like, okay. And then at 250, at 253 to be exact, he's like, your room is ready.
4:30Jacqueline Novak:And I'm so sorry, but I'm just going to say it. Never in this time was sorry about that offered. Would you like some water? just kind of basic stuff for rooms that are I don't know 800 they start at um and seriously I 800 absolutely my god again I'm not paying the point is I go up to the room they have me in a room that's directly opposite the maintenance closet which I'm actually going to switch out of because the last time I did that yeah it's like bang bang bang 7 a.m wakes me like sleeper Yeah. And it just sucked. And it really was like rudeness at the front desk. It really like it really marked the day.
5:11Kate Berlant:Rudeness at the front desk is it cannot be overstated. OK, now. And I'm talking about active rudeness. So are you.
5:19Jacqueline Novak:OK, no, I'm talking about active.
5:21Kate Berlant:I would take military skin. I'd take military. OK, I'd take respectful, militaristic service.
5:27Jacqueline Novak:Agreed. Agreed. Agreed.
5:28Kate Berlant:Like, cause there's been a couple of places I've gone to where it's like clear that they, um, I'm just bringing my voice down cause I realized Chris is recording his podcast upstairs in the room. And I tend to bellow when I'm on the phone, especially downstairs. Um, like I've been, cause there was somewhere I went recently, you know, a bunch of hotels in, in a row. Right. And I went to one, it might've been a Four Seasons and. oh mailbox mail coming in the door um the mailman like it's mr rogers so amazing so fresh cilantro okay so i go in and it was like it was clear that the training was how quickly
6:13Jacqueline Novak:can you get someone through the check-in process okay got it yeah graciously yeah and i was like
6:19Kate Berlant:hell yeah right but it was calm yeah it was like who was it it was a new movie or a tv show recently oh it was company retreat it was like um it was almost like slow is calm and calm is fast you know so it was like slow down to be fast kind of vibe something like that but point is it was almost like that and i go damn you know it was like we are through so it was militaristic but smooth and i loved it it's it's the opposite of the saccharine waste your time where you're exhausted and you're like and they're like telling you about like a feature you're not interested in you know totally they're like we're roasting a cow on the roof yeah tomorrow yeah we're screening my fair lady at dawn yeah and god you know it's just and i know there are different it's the one tough thing about all products and services right it's like there are different styles and sometimes the very thing about one style you know oh it's kind of casual here it's like this it's like that you know informs the experiences someone has to have a vision of what you're offering right yes because like sometimes there's a different vibe and you go but it's great there i love when i'm at the blah blah boutique hotel and it's like such and such you know over here i want a different thing it's like it's just like there is no one there is no one way yeah but there are certain things like I was talking to someone I was like what's most important to you you know in a hotel you're like they're like controllable climate like easily controllable climate like
7:55Jacqueline Novak:fucking thing on the window I mean thing on the wall right yeah yeah heat on off so true
8:01Kate Berlant:that was a big one because for me it's almost become the way that I'm turning towards hardwood floor i know it's so nice i'm like what's the big deal guys like i don't because i don't care if it's scuffed it's chic let it be scuffed like it's we don't need it and the the thing that really fucked me up in some of the hotels i was staying in was sticky laminate okay or kind of a stickiness to the laminate under your shoe it feels it doesn't feel good under the foot it doesn't feel good under the shoe yeah right so then i was going like i'm gonna need something i'm gonna need a slipper but it's gross because i was like i need a slipper for the hotel rooms but what is that slipper i struggled at the so wait we never talked about oh my god that's right that you also stayed at yeah so did you visit the underworld yeah once okay so you visit that pool the underworld the whole thing yes did you go outside no it's really worth discussing right but this is amazing yeah because i was like first of all i was like i can't wait to like taco place i'm like with kate and i was like i wonder like okay if kate and i did like a christmas pook show i was like would we stay here like would i recommend would i have kate would i first got there i'm like maybe like this is very interesting because you know i like because i've had some troubles in portland including asking fred armison for a wreck okay like once and him giving me like a wreck and then me finding it like way too rock and roll or whatever like yeah That was the place I left where I got like the, I got like a trumpet leaning in the corner.
9:35Kate Berlant:It was a round honeymoon suite. Yeah.
9:43Kate Berlant:So, cause it's, oh no, no. Like I got like woken up from a nap, right? At another hotel by someone like, you know, sorry, do you mind if I come in and put this cactus down? Small cactus, right? A small potted cactus that was supposed to be on the shelf, right? Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's losing the plot. You know what I mean?
10:02Jacqueline Novak:Yeah.
10:02Kate Berlant:Like hotel. I mean, at some point we just want to say, fuck it. You know, season five is called Hotel. And that's all we talk about. OK, because it's a it's a worthy topic.
10:13Jacqueline Novak:I mean, by the way, that's where I go. You better be careful. And again, I'm hesitant. I even said I was like, do I want to take this to the pod? And the answer is yes, because it's just like. because here's the thing because it's like i would never like you know what i'm not gonna do try to get someone fired or something like i'm never gonna do that right okay look oh my god yes calm tear arrived the frozen can you believe i got that for us so i didn't realize i can't i
10:45Kate Berlant:didn't realize because chris so he opened the package you know you know they didn't go in the freezer no no no no it's the story is merely like the spoils of poog upon the partner okay I've never heard of this stuff I didn't even think to tell Chris about it he's like this thing he's like oh like he had heard of it already okay I was very excited yeah okay and so he was explaining to me I didn't even understand I thought it was coffee brand and then this morning I tried one I actually took one out last night I didn't realize it's different brands and then the comment here is like this is says go get them tiger oh I don't think I realized that either and then this is let's see what this says proud mary coffee roasters okay oh yeah okay So it's kind of like...
11:28Jacqueline Novak:Different roasters.
11:28Kate Berlant:There's three others. There's different roasters. And, I mean, maybe we're getting a sample pack because, you know, figure out what you like. So I took this one, this Go Get Them Tiger with notes of pear, jasmine, papaya, okay? And it's fucking, you know, it's just... Do you see the steam? Or not steam, but this. Yeah, yeah. And then out of the freezer. And then last night, so I placed it in the fridge. So it would sort of melt overnight. This morning I poured it in. I even did my full routine. A little soy milk. Okay. I foamed it up. A little thing. It was absolutely, I think I'm actually going to have one now.
12:02Kate Berlant:It was delicious. And I literally was like, it's so weird when things are, I was like, it literally tastes like you're at the coffee shop. And it's just been brewed.
12:11Jacqueline Novak:No, stop. This is amazing. This is amazing. Okay. I was like, what? And I want listeners to know we have not been paid for this. I was like,
12:18Kate Berlant:okay. Oh, and I forgot because I haven't met this one. So this one's going to be different. That's incredible. How do I approach it? Anyway, I'm pretty excited about it. Something about these frozen little things.
12:31Jacqueline Novak:My cousin raved about it like a year ago.
12:33Kate Berlant:Really?
12:34Jacqueline Novak:Yeah, big coffee snob. I do.
12:36Kate Berlant:This beautiful... So fun. I can't wait. They gave us anyway, so I was excited about that.
12:41Jacqueline Novak:I can't wait to rush home to do it. So here's my question to you, because here's the thing. Yeah. It's like, what do you do? Because I don't want to get into a thing of like... Oh. Because you know what it is? it's like well it's like if you give me if you're being like that and you're giving me nothing like yeah you're you the tone is like i bummed a cigarette off of you and then i come back and i go can i bum another and i'm being rude yeah do you know what i mean like that's the way you're
13:08Kate Berlant:talking to me that's why i left one of these places i left um one of the hotels because of the most insane front desk behavior i've ever experienced in my life where it was like i was kissing motherfucking ass like i wonder if people think like that we do not charm oh i literally
13:26Jacqueline Novak:by the way i go harder it's really sad actually what i do because with this guy i go i'm gonna make him love me and i go yeah and i'm like trying to like joke or trying to be a little it's like at no point do i like i'm being i'll say it fucking perfect do you know what i mean yeah like i'm sorry yeah but then by the end of the interaction you know what i was doing i'm like fine i'll have my head down too you don't want to acknowledge me then i'm not gonna like do you know what i mean like after a point it's like fine then i'll just like quietly get my bag you haven't said anything you haven't said sorry for any inconvenience sorry about that nothing then it's like i'll just take my bags and leave like i don't i'm not trying to talk to you and by the way i want to be clear lobby's empty if this is a thing where oh my god there's 20 people here trying to check in at the same time this is like you i'm talking about this like no it's
Read the full transcript
14:15Kate Berlant:You know what I mean? It's just. Yes. It's, I think it must be.
14:20Jacqueline Novak:Oh, and I have an announcement. Yeah. I mentioned this to my friend and he goes, oh yeah, my wife and I stayed there on our wedding night as a treat. No. And they were rude at the front desk.
14:34Kate Berlant:That's hysterical. No. So there are, you can run into people being really upset and pissed and having a bad day and going, fuck these people that are, that, you know, can spend 800 on a hotel room. Now you're being put up there by work. So you're not technically the, um, the offender. You're not technically the bastard.
14:55Jacqueline Novak:Exactly. Right.
14:55Kate Berlant:That you seem to be. And I don't know. It's, um,
15:01Jacqueline Novak:Oh my God. You're not going to believe it. I even tried to endeared myself to him. No, no, Jacqueline, you're not going to believe it. So the guy, the guy in front of me checked in and they do Amex Hotel Fine Resorts.
15:11Kate Berlant:Right.
15:12Jacqueline Novak:And I go, oh my God, I can't believe you guys. No, no, no. I said, oh my God, you guys do a hotel. I go, that's amazing. I go, I didn't, a job booked me here.
15:21Kate Berlant:Right, you let them down.
15:23Jacqueline Novak:To try to be like, it's not coming out of my pocket. Yeah.
15:34Kate Berlant:Folks, I can't overstate how important it is to me right now that I have summer effortless essentials, I really got to get my act together. And that's why I'll be, I'll be looking at quince. In fact, I'm going to go look at quince right now and see what they got. Okay. Mongolian cashmere cropped tea, oversized tea. That'll work for me. We all, we all know that'll work for me. And I see a gray one that could be kind of a play on my gray t-shirt lifestyle but here in a yeah i'm gonna have to i'm screen grabbing this i'm gonna beg beg beg now this is interesting this is a linen midi slip skirt and cotton oh we're gonna cut an
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17:35Kate Berlant:Please support the show and tell them you heard about them on Poog Podcast.
17:44Kate Berlant:Now, oh, but I do want to talk a little bit about the...
17:47Jacqueline Novak:So the headline is, did you like it? Oh. No, no, no.
17:53Kate Berlant:It's complex. It's complex. I did. Okay. And I'm thinking, now I'd have to look like if I was going back again, because I was like, look, perform Portland fairly regularly.
18:04Jacqueline Novak:It gets five brooms.
18:05Kate Berlant:Let me think about that.
18:08Jacqueline Novak:When I went, I used five brooms. Yeah, it was five brooms. It was really clean.
18:11Kate Berlant:I hate to do this. I really hate to be negative. Are you ready?
18:15Jacqueline Novak:What?
18:15Kate Berlant:It was five rooms in the hotel rooms.
18:18Jacqueline Novak:Oh, spa is a different thing. When you go down there, it's like a free-for-all spa.
18:22Kate Berlant:So it's like, you know, it's like a, it's different pools and baths and saunas and whatever right and then they've got a pool area above the subterranean thing and it was a sunday and people were clearly like kind of partying like you know maybe they'd stayed there for the weekend so there's a lot
18:42Jacqueline Novak:of like bachelorettes and stuff there it's tough yeah and it was like in that regard and just like
18:47Kate Berlant:a lot of whatever and so i come down you know and i'm like i'm gonna spend a little time there I have a Sunday night show. I'm like, so I'm envisioning kind of something different than what happens normally. And I was sort of weird to move among them. But I got a little grossed out by the kind of like used sloppy poolside. Like, it's like this thing where it's like, because it's kind of indoors, which when the sun is not baking down, it's like, kind of like feeling like it's purifying and drying things quickly. And it's just sort of wet. And there are these loungers.
19:18Jacqueline Novak:Yeah.
19:18Kate Berlant:And it's like there's these loungers and they're like, take a, you know, like a blanket to cover your lounger, you know, and discard, you know, discard after in the hamper. And so you take it and you go, you lay it down on like a wrinkly, like someone's just laid there and there's a wet spot on the, on the lounger.
19:35Jacqueline Novak:It's just like when it's outside, it feels completely less gross to me when you're inside like a solarium and it's like you're sitting on the wetness.
19:44Kate Berlant:Yeah. And then I feel really bad saying this, but I went outside and I was really into like the grounds. I'm like, they got this fire pit that you descend into the concrete to sit around this fire to dry off after you go through, let's say, the cold rain shower thing. So I'm like, that's cool. The sauna was pristine. But I'm like sort of freezing and wet from walking through this rain shower, go down into the pit. And I'm like, OK, to like sort of dry and then heat the flames. And they glance down and there's like a giant tumbleweed of every hair that has ever crossed through this place. right and so i have to like dart out before like the wind of the fire causes it to hit me on the ankle okay and i just was like i just was sort of like grossed out and but i was like i get it we're at the end of the weekend here people been partying here all weekend so i was just thinking you know i was like it would be worth trying again that aspect of it middle of the week okay we're doing a wednesday night show we roll in early okay midweek i bet and you get their first thing in the morning exactly it's like when you watch it get wet and gross across the course of the day but you're there for that whole experience it's like less gross to you because you've seen it unfold yeah so i was really impressed by a lot of things about the hotel and they've got here's what like yeah like small but really well designed economical kitchen loved coffee shop downstairs like built in and not washer dryer not yeah washer dryer not depressing like nice dark bathroom like
21:17Jacqueline Novak:pretty kind of spotlighting like dark tile or something i was into it no when i was in there
21:22Kate Berlant:that was some of the first things i said was was wow like they've thought of everything you know Yeah, it's crazy. Well, areas where they didn't have to. Yeah, they did. And so it's like, when you're approaching perfection and a new model and all this kind of stuff, I'm very excited. And then I'm very like, wait, but something's getting in the way of my experience that could be solved pretty easily. You know, bring it back to your room.
21:47Jacqueline Novak:So one thing I want to add about **** is I want to give props to when I called back a second time because I was so horrified by how rude the person was on the phone the first time. So amazing. um i spoke to a perfectly friendly woman oh my god so i just want to say that there's one guy who's the main one that's brutal and then there's a slightly less brutal guy but i did speak to a woman who is perfectly lovely and that's all i want to say i mean the spirit might be like he
22:20Kate Berlant:might be like ready to leave the job okay yeah he's not going to do it himself no no it's a
22:24Jacqueline Novak:weird thing no no gonna make someone else fire him you know what i mean jacklyn there was literally a thing where i go if i talk to him again and he's being like that i i was like in out loud in my room being like what do i say like hey like are you okay like that's obviously you can't say that it's like really starting shit sorry did i fuck your wife or whatever no no no like it makes me want to go like sorry sorry like i was like almost wanting to like pass it off be like hey like i know you hate me but like blah blah it's like like keep it playful because it's like it's just like
22:54Kate Berlant:this is outrageous what really sucks is when it's like this when it's like um when you give them the like me your nightmare the person who's come down twice because of the thing like but it's a problem like so so i had a thing where i was staying at a one hotel in nashville or something and i get in they upgrade me i go up to the room i open the door and you know the one hotel smells very good and like a specific you know they have like a signature scent going on in there so i'll never say i opened the door and it hit in the face with sort of a dead mouse kind of smell right oh no and i'm like i'm like the worst i'm like this is real because i didn't smell it in the hall i smell it in the room and it's just you know it's that thing where you're like am i really going to like it's the fear because something like that is they could come up with you smell and go i don't smell anything or that's just what a room smells like like that's just what life sounds like right right you bitch you know what i mean but i was like it's kind of a chimney sweep who said maybe your house is dirty yes okay so you fear you fear the you fear that you go down so i go down i go hi sorry like i mean it was really late at night they had to like i was like i just think i was like i stay in one hotels all the time i was like something's not weird in the room i just pause for blueberries okay i'm doing where's the title of the episode okay i'm doing blueberry i'm doing steel cut oats i'm gonna do a splash of soy let's see because this is a fun break for everyone i'm gonna do now i'll do um flaxseed why am i doing all this random shit it's not random it's all because if things Dr.
24:41Kate Berlant:Gregor has told me to do. It's not just like, oh, that seems like a healthy thing.
24:46Jacqueline Novak:I'm starving and I have dinner at Odeon tonight.
24:49Kate Berlant:Oh, exciting. Hold on.
24:52Jacqueline Novak:What else do I put in my oats normally? Armra. I mean, not Armra. What's it called? Amla.
24:58Kate Berlant:Amla. Right here, ready, like a huge jar that I keep it in. And then I keep a tiny spoon in the jar. Okay, so it's just ready. No excuses. and then i think i'm gonna want some hot strawberry today yeah so my god strawberry oh by the way i've like completely graduated with like tofu i'm like a tofu i'm i'm learning a lot
25:26Jacqueline Novak:oh wait i want to hear what you said the one hotel about the rat oh yeah so so i come down
25:35Kate Berlant:And I say it, and it's late. There's no way I'm, like, trying to be annoying. I'm tired. You know what I mean? Yeah. And they're really nice. They get me, they say, we'll put you in a new room. And in fact, you know, I think they upgrade me or something. I can't remember how this went. Oh, no. So then I go up to the upgraded room. And it is that issue where it's like they upgrade me, but I don't want the upgrade because I'd rather have two queen beds. than as i've discussed a king bed and a couch because like the couch doesn't have fresh linen on it so i'd rather like make a second queen be my space to hang out so whatever then i go down
26:15Jacqueline Novak:i go back up key doesn't work oh no so i go back down this is all just to say that i go back down
26:20Kate Berlant:and i go like me again you know but it's like it's like a lot of work because like the whole way down the elevator I'm I'm thinking about how I'm gonna like basically like cut off at the pass them thinking I'm about to just complain about something about the new room yes and so it's like I like it's like you know entering the stage in character yeah and leaving the stage in character you're like key you know scream key yeah yeah yeah I'm like issue key issue yeah yeah it's so real it's just crazy and then get a little fat in with this almond butter okay um and then you know get the new room it's it's fine it's whatever um point is we're doing a lot of work you know to not be a dick and i think some of these people might be trying to get fired like they're trying i know they're they're like that's what's so crazy i'm like this is like like they're like fuck i'm just gonna live until i get five like i'm just gonna be free and like i guess i can kind of like get into that i'm like yeah all right right till dawn ride to the rails come off totally
27:36Kate Berlant:summer should feel easy for everyone in the house oh man i want these pants and yeah they're cozier okay i want these everyday pants i need them right now i don't have pants Yeah, it's light stretch. It's breathable. Wrinkles are a non-issue. I wouldn't even care if they were, but they're not. People are buying three pairs. That's the kind of thing I'm seeing. Dress it up, dress it down. My life really is about loungewear and good sheets. I mean, there's nothing else to say. That's the stuff that affects me daily.
28:07Jacqueline Novak:Cozy Earth stands behind everything they make. An 100-night sleep trial on sheets, a lifetime warranty on the clothing, and hassle-free returns if anything isn't right. Cozy Earth's bamboo sheet set. Everywhere pant and everywhere polo are designed to keep him cool, comfortable, and actually relaxed all summer long. Dad lives here.
28:26Kate Berlant:I'd consider getting this for my dad. I do trust the brand. This could open up a whole new level of comfort for the man.
28:34Jacqueline Novak:Head to CozyEarth.com And use our code HAGS for an exclusive 20 % off. That's code HAGS for an exclusive 20 % off. That's CozyEarth.com. And if you see a post-purchase survey, mention that you heard about Cozy Earth right here.
28:52Kate Berlant:So I'm following this Wendy food scientist on Instagram. So she teaches like all these different tofu strategies based on being a food scientist. and she like boiled the tofu for three minutes you know my paper towels are being delivered boil the tofu for three minutes in salt water oh yeah i've heard about that you get the flavor you want to do it yeah i think then it soaks up flavor in a whole different way she's got all these different things and then another strategy and this is to make this like i forget what she calls it this other two of tofu it's like thank you oh um you soak it in water that has some
29:35Jacqueline Novak:baking soda in it and that does something else texturally that's a whole other thing so last
29:42Kate Berlant:night for the first time all i had i had tapioca starch lying around and i read that that was acceptable and tapioca starch and a little baking powder sprinkled over tofu cubes that i had you know let's sit in this aminos marinade threw them in the old little air fryer in the you know our oven thing that we have you and we both have from our place it was delicious and it was just my first attempt so it wasn't even I didn't even do it very well and it was delicious and you know I'm off to the races I want to do that for sure and I put in my oatmeal um I also want to shout
30:17Jacqueline Novak:out the Bowery because I had last night I want to hear about that but I just want to say quickly last night yeah friday night at the bower you would find me in the back lobby area having seltzer soup and salad it was heaven having ribolata and this fabulous um the best salad i've had there which is like this one i've never ordered it's like fava beans artichokes yeah Yeah. Pellegrino.
30:43Kate Berlant:Okay. No, this is fun. Having Pellegrino. Like a seltzer. I know. Seltzer.
30:47Jacqueline Novak:It's like fava beans, artichoke, lettuce, celery, some amazing shaved cheese. It was, it was really great. I mean, again, I'm missing the Bowery. I'm like, take me back to where there's joy and not oppressive luxury.
31:03Kate Berlant:Take me back. Yeah. Take me back. I'm not oppressive luxury.
31:08Jacqueline Novak:Never seen it.
31:10Kate Berlant:yeah i uh i actually don't know if i've seen it oh no i saw a production once i was like i've acted it me and chris realized we both i think neither seen it but we've both done scene studies from it i'm sure but never never never seen it um i watched a terrifying movie called hallow hallow road must watch oh that sounds scary wait i have i have an urgent question which is
31:34Jacqueline Novak:I'm considering buying disclosure day tickets now.
31:38Kate Berlant:I saw a commercial yesterday.
31:39Jacqueline Novak:And it'd be really fun to go, the four of us.
31:42Kate Berlant:I know. I assumed we were all going.
31:44Jacqueline Novak:Okay, great. I want to see it on 70 millimeter at the Vista. Okay, great. Okay, great.
31:49Kate Berlant:I was like, I already said it's good. I was like, I think we're seeing it at the Vista. I don't remember why. I just remember something about.
31:58Jacqueline Novak:Oh, that's amazing.
31:59Kate Berlant:So, you know.
32:01Jacqueline Novak:Well, I think I'm going to text you, but I want to buy the tickets today because they're going to fly, sweetheart.
32:07Kate Berlant:So what was I going to say? It wasn't about Tau Fowl.
32:18Kate Berlant:Oh, I can't remember if I recorded like this yet, but I've gone through all of my papers, almost all of them in my room, which is me reckoning with time, with my mind, with everything. It's very intense. but once I'm in it, it's like, there's a strange piece. And, you know, I'm in artistic agony as usual, but I intend to see it through. I got to get to work now. Of course you will.
32:46Jacqueline Novak:I ran into, by the way, hag, husband, wife, hag, husband, wife couple at Dimes today. Really sweet.
32:53Kate Berlant:I love that.
32:54Jacqueline Novak:Yeah. Shout out.
32:56Kate Berlant:Is that a reference to Dimes Square?
32:59Jacqueline Novak:Yeah. But I was at Dimes, restaurant Dimes today. I was at Dime's Deli. No, I'm saying is the restaurant, is the name.
33:06Kate Berlant:Yes. So do you know that our friend...
33:09Jacqueline Novak:Dimes came before Dime Square.
33:10Kate Berlant:No. I thought it was a new restaurant.
33:12Jacqueline Novak:Not that new.
33:14Kate Berlant:Okay. Well, Matt, because we can fact check this, but Stephen Phillips' horse came up to Dime Square. He started it.
33:22Jacqueline Novak:No, stop.
33:23Kate Berlant:Yeah. What a legend.
33:24Jacqueline Novak:I love him. He's so smart, so funny.
33:27Kate Berlant:He did... He did...
33:28Jacqueline Novak:One of the only journalists we have left.
33:30Kate Berlant:He did Dime Square for the first time. It's unbelievable. His work is unbelievable. And he's done other things like that. His Twitter, Gossip Babies,
33:38Jacqueline Novak:one of the best Twitters of all time.
33:40Kate Berlant:And, you know, he's going to put his show up in Edinburgh. I say Edinburgh when I'm here. I say Edinburgh when I'm there. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Point is, Stephen Phillips tours, he started Times Square and I just think people should know that because there's been some other things. That's crazy. I think I knew that and forgot that. Commercially, there's been some things used, like a video of his that was then just, blatantly like taken and recast as like a major ad campaign it's like shocking whoa but that's you know that's the way it goes anyway just like people should know i want to hear the details on
34:13Jacqueline Novak:that i should know that so cool modern day cultural theorist he rules it's like his cultural
34:22Kate Berlant:commentary on social scenes in new york and all that kind of stuff unmatched i know it's so funny it really is he worked in advertising as did i and our early um sorry i'm turned around
34:36Jacqueline Novak:trying to figure out where i am um i can just get out here yeah it's not a deal thanks you too um oh my god also well here i am walking in dime square and by the way once again was sent into the van with a random man oh my god this is this is the first walking
34:56Kate Berlant:poog i'm walking poog in dives i know i know so yeah walking poog is coming and just don't freak out guys the tech will arrive okay we're the tech we'll figure out later we're moving fast and breaking things but steven phil pors and i both worked at advertising and laughed our asses off talking about the things we wrote as advertisers because okay this is interesting because now a lot of there's background noise but it's vocal oh my god hi how are you
35:27Jacqueline Novak:So I'm literally in the middle of a video call. It's so rude, but it's so nice to see you. And that's Times Square for you. Who was it? You can't say. A very nice actor I was in a film with years ago. OK, you know what, though? I should go because it is too much. And I'm about to go into the hotel. I think it's time. I'm going to see. Wait, wait. I'm going to report back on my next interactions with the with the bastard. okay great okay okay love you love you that was poog if you enjoyed poog please subscribe rate and review if not we will press charges
From the publisher
Entering the stage in character. This week, hags are dropped in as Kate walks and Jacqueline cooks. Both hotel rudeness and home deliveries abound. Tofu strategies and the origins of Dimes Square. Jacqueline pinpoints the tough thing about all products and services, though foot nor shoe should sticky laminate meet. Kate spots husband-wife hags and five-broom rankings are doled out to some, while others are riding til the rails come off. There’s no interest in the rooftop roast or the small-potted cactus. It’s not random.
