In short
The hosts discuss “partition 10 parts” wellness triage while preparing for a stand-up special and upcoming crowded events—focusing on headache relief, creating a controlled environment (air filters, curtains, humidifiers), and “preparation” protocols to avoid getting sick. They also cover skincare/body-care routines, spa treatments, and a recent mole excision with adhesive allergies.
Guests
No guests. The episode is hosted by Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak.
Key claims
Toxic air/Los Angeles conditions may drive headaches; shutting windows and using air filters/humidifiers stabilizes an ADHD-prone mind; spa scrubbing/relaxation improves calm and resilience; nasal sprays (Astapro + Covixil) can “armor” against colds via placebo and protective nasal layering; recovery and skin healing require careful aftercare.
Notable examples
Goop boycott after reported food poisoning (tofu spring rolls; salmon rumors); ordering from LA ghost-kitchen “M Cafe” and Pasadena “Paper Rice”; Olympic Spa milk-and-honey scrub/massage; Japanese head spa “Blow Me Away” scalp/lymph detox; mole excision causing week-long bandage rashes.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOLiving Through Lockdown
0:15 to 1:08
Discussion on personal routines and the impact of the COVID lockdown.
“Today's topic, loosely speaking, partition 10 parts.”
Creating a Cozy Environment
1:08 to 2:36
Exploration of establishing comfort through indoor activities and visuals.
“I mean, just I would do my exercise in my room.”
Goop Food Poisoning Incident
2:36 to 4:36
A friend's experience with food poisoning from a Goop product.
Ghost Kitchens and Food Delivery
4:36 to 6:50
Discussion on ghost kitchens and the challenges of food delivery services.
“that the salmon was causing food poisoning.”
Health Food Alternatives
6:50 to 8:52
Recommendations for healthier food options and meal prepping.
“They have a location and a ghost kitchen.”
Skin Care Routines
8:52 to 10:24
Discussion on skin care products and routines, including personal experiences.
“Will you please drop, because I want it, so I know the hags want it.”
Expensive Beauty Products and Recommendations
10:24 to 14:01
Conversation about high-end beauty products and their effectiveness.
“Just like, you know, like any of that, this stuff, I mean, even the skincare, it's like, I mean, they know.”
Skin Care Routines and Luxury Products
14:01 to 21:19
Explore the hosts' humorous take on their skincare routines and high-end products.
“Lightweight, restorative, designed to calm stress skin, support visible skin recovery, irritation, redness, blemishes.”
The Benefits of Understanding Hormonal Health
21:20 to 23:20
Learn about the importance of monitoring hormonal health and its effects on overall well-being.
“Things like magnesium, your iron, hormone levels, markers that often affect how you feel in each workout.”
Spa Experiences and Body Treatments
23:40 to 28:00
Delve into the hosts' recounting of their unique spa experiences and body treatments.
“Remember I was like, this is my workplace.”
Show all 14 chapters
Anxiety Before the Standup Special
28:00 to 29:23
Exploration of pre-performance anxiety and health concerns before a standup taping.
“Oh, I really also, at some point I need to tell the people about my mole excision.”
Preventative Health Measures
29:23 to 31:08
Discussion on different health protocols and nasal sprays to avoid getting sick.
“That's the stuff that you and me both got.”
The Mole Excision Experience
31:08 to 32:38
Narrative about a mole biopsy and the process of skin excision.
“Doesn't allow itself to get sick when it knows that it has shit to do.”
Trials of Healing and Care
32:38 to 37:26
Reflections on the challenges faced during the healing process and the comfort of care.
“Oh yeah, I did show you, but I thought the listener would want to know.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Jacqueline Novak:Hi, I'm Kate Berlant. I'm Jacqueline Novak. And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends, two untamable intellects. This is our hobby. This is our hell. This is our naked desire for free products. This is POOG. Today's topic, loosely speaking, partition 10 parts.
0:19Kate Berlant:Delete this file.
0:24Kate Berlant:so it's just headache poof among other things i'm depleted i still believe like i mean of course i do you know it's the premise of my fucking book what that there's value in like not putting on a sunny face okay of course so non-stop headaches could also be the toxic air in los angeles which
0:47Jacqueline Novak:is going to drive us all to an early fucking grave.
0:50Kate Berlant:Oh, that reminds me. Well, I have my thing turned off right now because if I turn it on, I think it'll be kind of noisy. I will say like back to the old classic, it's like how COVID lockdown really worked for me. Yeah. I'm like... Whiddled the world down to more manageable size.
1:08Jacqueline Novak:Yes.
1:11Kate Berlant:And I was able to get in a routine. I mean, just I would do my exercise in my room. I mean, you know, to do it in my own setting and just be in this state of self-authority where I would do my exercise. You know, I would do Tracy with my my mode and the whole thing and my music. And then and I'd have my my humidifier going and then I'd get in the shower. Yeah. And I'd have a delicious shower and then I'd get out and I'd put on my evening clothes and I'd come down and have dinner. okay and then watch some tube and then go to sleep and then wake up i mean it was it was like something wasn't moving you know like there was a backdrop that was stable and yeah totally to work against a stable backdrop i mean this is the you know the adhd way it's like literally everything's moving everything's malleable yeah and so it's just and then similarly this is why even though there's benefits to going outside and when I'm home I I do I mean we go on walks non-stop because I have to believe in them but it's like all all to say there's something about shut all the windows turn on the air filters that really appeals to me yeah like it's like it's like pull the windows close it's like draw the curtains and I know sometimes I say and pretend it's Christmas you know what I mean yeah but like put on like a YouTube video of a snowy place and like an actual one you know like like yeah you you turned me you had me do yeah I remember and there's like bad ones that are like this like AI hell but then there are things that are like you're actually riding on a train like it's a camera on the front of a train going through snowy mountains yeah or if you close all the curtains you can take the box of your house and go including apartments it slides out okay it slides out can soar anywhere you go like where is it oh my house has just like gone up right tornado above that's fun and now it has landed and where am i where do i land it for a little while on the beach maybe and close my eyes but i know the ocean's right out there i don't know i've got my ice cap on you know this thing right i was wondering what that is oh it's for a headache yeah it's like have that it's like there are like lesser ones and then there are better ones this one has seems good you see this velcro that like so you can also do kind of pressure if you want tightness and um i'm missing
3:40Jacqueline Novak:one of the inserts now but well goop is officially dead boycotted over oh and also mass food poisoning and my friend got poisoning food poisoning from goop two nights ago from the tofu spring rolls ew she had one tofu goop spring roll woke up in the middle of the night a couple hours later projectile vomiting diarrhea pure hell yep and i saw somebody mentioned to me all over tiktok a few weeks ago it was talking about goop yeah to be clear this was before gwyneth paltrow added herself as a genocidal absolute lunatic with greed so bottomless that can't imagine what it would feel like to live under the weight of that kind of soulless greed it's just i hope it feels like something, but apparently she feels nothing and we might know why.
4:30Jacqueline Novak:Yeah. So goop was officially completely done. And yeah, also causing food poisoning. It was all over Reddit for a while that the salmon was causing food poisoning. Oh yeah. It was all over. And I was like, I'm still going to order it because I was really into the chili.
4:47Kate Berlant:And I mean, ghost kitchens, you know, I saw something that, and I'm closing my eyes because of the headache, if you don't mind, But I saw something on a billboard that was like, I forget what it was called. Should we call it the ghosties, but whatever. It was like Uber or something, Uber Eats. But it was like saying like our first year of awards for basically ghost kitchen only. Like so like Uber Eats, right? It was like an awards situation, a competition. For ghost kitchens? Yes, because so many things on Uber Eats, right? You see all these things and you know they're ghost kitchen because they're like highly targeted, you know?
5:23Kate Berlant:Like it'll be like, you know, like fuck carbs. And you're like, I haven't seen that restaurant. Right. And then like next to it is like Keto King or something. And then like next to it is or those are like the same. Point is, one of the only ways that you can really usually get a sense for delivery is to go look up the actual restaurant. Right. And so you go, oh, this restaurant or this restaurant looks like shit or whatever. I'm going to trust the delivery or I'm not going to trust the delivery. We need some kind of system where they're raiding the ghost kitchen specifically and against each other.
5:53Kate Berlant:We need to have faith that it's not just coming out of some guy's apartment or if it is.
5:58Jacqueline Novak:If anybody wants, by the way, people are going, oh, but goop isn't healthy. By the way, it's not. I got the teriyaki chicken, whatever. It's like the sweetest glaze you've ever had. Whenever I order goop, I'm like, this isn't like health food. This is just like whatever. But like everything's drenched in oil and sugar. And it's frankly, some of it's like straight up gross. but now that it's been known to cause wide food poisoning and that the person at the top is, you know, bloodless. If you're craving something healthy, you know it's actual health food. And this is again, limited to Los Angeles, but M cafe, M cafe, hive rise up, by the way, the macro bowl, Matt is health food, the curry broth bowl, and that you can add tempeh.
6:42Jacqueline Novak:You can add if you want. They have salmon. They have coffee and M Cafe. The macrobiotic way. They have a ghost kitchen. They have a location and a ghost kitchen. Yes. But I mean, I ordered from it like three days in a row. I also want to shout out paper rice, which I think is based in Pasadena, but they have these like these spring rolls. They're really good. And I don't know. But M Cafe is a huge.
7:04Kate Berlant:I've been locking on their turmeric broth. Ginger broth. I've never had it. One of these days I'm going to just, I'm going to make it at home. It's not hard, but then in a moment of desperation. And I appreciate that it comes in kind of now, I don't know, maybe, maybe this sort of, this sort of laminated paper cups are not better or something than plastic, but they do feel better than when like the, when the, you get the soup and the hot soup and the plastic takeout and you're just like, it feels like it's a dental mold that you've just boiled and can mold to a shape you're just like you know i'm talking about if you get you order really hot soup to the home yeah yeah no no i know so this comes in like the paper cup so it just feels a little a little less toxic um that's nice and then have you watched that plastic documentary yet i haven't
7:53Jacqueline Novak:i haven't and we you know although it's focused on fertility oh really i'm like who fucking cares i mean i obviously i care or we all care whatever but it's mostly about like straight couples trying to get pregnant. I'm like, okay.
8:09Jacqueline Novak:I mean. This is a tragedy that this guy can't reproduce. But yeah, I think that the plastics, you know, definitely trying to minimize.
8:17Kate Berlant:To me, though, it's like, yeah, if it's fucking infertility, it's fucking everything else, too.
8:22Jacqueline Novak:No, no, no, no, no, no. It's a huge issue. It's horrible. I'm just saying that doc.
8:25Kate Berlant:Yeah, yeah. Specifically around infertility. Oh, I think I saw. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then what else did I? Well, I'm trying to get serious again. I mostly have the daily dozen covered in my damn morning bowl. Wow, that's incredible. Because to get cruciferous, which includes cauliflower. And look, I like cauliflower even normal, okay? But you're going every damn day like a side of cauliflower. Let's just say you're finding that a bore. Dude, the frozen rice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I drop it into my oatmeal. Along with my oatmeal, it stirs in. You didn't taste it. don't even taste it. Not that I would mind if I did.
9:04Jacqueline Novak:Will you please drop, because I want it, so I know the hags want it. Yeah.
9:09Kate Berlant:Well, I think there was a partial one that went out in the newsletter, but it was missing a few things because I sort of just said it while I was doing it. Yeah, we'll drop it in the newsletter. It's, I'm trying to think what else I've been adding. Oh, hemp hearts are back in the mix. Wow. Those kind of have a flavor that I don't love. Well, again, I like it. I'll also sprinkle it on a salad. They're in the mix. What else? There's something. Oh, you know what I've been doing? Pum Fu is interesting. So Pum Fu is like tofu, but it made of pumpkin seeds instead of soy. Oh, I've never heard of that.
9:44Kate Berlant:Interesting. Turns out you can make tofu out of anything or out of a lot of things. Okay. So this is Pum Fu. It's got its own kind of quality to it, kind of crumbly. And then I've been doing a lot more work with tofu. As I said, Wendy, the food scientist, two digital downloads I paid for, as I said, oiling the firm tofu, creating a particular texture because it doesn't just create the texture of, say, softer, you know, it's like its own thing. So I'm working on that. I'm trying to figure out how to get the corn starch dusted. You know, and by working on that, I mean, once in two weeks, thinking about it for five seconds yeah of course because i just i have these i have these curiosities it's like i was thinking like do the listeners of poog like do they think the shit we talk about i'm like do they think it's filling our days do you know what i'm saying because it's almost like i'm like i feel like i'm poog it's like oh i want to talk about all this like bullshit right like that's fun you know what i mean like to talk about but i'm almost like when i'm like so what's new yeah i'm working on tofu it's like that's three seconds like they know
10:53Jacqueline Novak:they don't think that you're drawing the blinds and doing incantations over tofu. I mean, what do I know? But I think, yeah.
11:00Kate Berlant:Just like, you know, like any of that, this stuff, I mean, even the skincare, it's like, I mean, they know. It's like, I haven't, I haven't put anything on my skin in weeks except for SPF actually. And azelaic acid from the derm.
11:14Jacqueline Novak:My skin, well, first of all I thought I had bizarre like I wonder if I can lift up my shirt and show you you can't even see them right now dot dot I thought I had two zits and maybe there was zits in a direct line like straight line like boom boom and then center of your sternum I go wait they're fucking spider bites so I thought because because they were so in such a straight line and no surrounding like my chest was like perfectly clear and then just dot dot I mean
11:46Kate Berlant:But between any two points is a straight line, Kate. God, you're good. No, but it was... No, I realized it. This was like the center.
11:57Jacqueline Novak:God, you're right.
11:58Kate Berlant:But then you're suggesting that a spider likes to go down the midline, which is totally arbitrary as well. Yeah, and then it eats you out. Ew. Like a happy trail? Sorry, I have a horrible mood.
12:11Jacqueline Novak:But anyway, the chest knee or whatever it was, was bugging me out. And then I'll say this, my amazing facialist, she said to me, because one of them, I, sorry, cover your ears, popped. And then I went, no, no, no, why did I do it? She goes, never touch your chest. She's like, that scar is the easiest.
12:28Kate Berlant:Are you serious?
12:29Jacqueline Novak:Yeah. She's like, if something, if a blemish on the chest, hands off. She's like, put scar patch over it if you go out in the sun. Like, she's like, that's the area that takes the longest to heal. Whatever. I've been using, I'm almost at the bottom of my Chanel serum that I was gifted. that I mentioned that retails$1 ,000. Is that the one that smelled though? Like fragrance? Yeah, it has kind of a vanilla smell. Ugh, I hate that. I know. Can you imagine paying$1 ,000? But guess what I ordered out of pocket, and it's coming. And by the way, we have Raw's hair products, which are beautiful. Oh, really?
13:02Jacqueline Novak:And like gorgeous glass hair milk. I've been eyeing for 10 ,000 years in the possession. Also, guess what I paid out of pocket, and I'm looking at it right now. I ordered a Canopy humidifier. Canopy was an early major supporter of Pug. They sent us, they basically had open door policy. We were getting too many humidifiers from them. I was having a gift for them. There was a point where. They were just constantly arriving. Yeah. It's amazing. And then I, well, Jacqueline, I reached out going, can we get more? No response, which is totally fair. Yeah. So I said, fuck it. So I ordered a canopy humidifier.
13:33Jacqueline Novak:I have to install that. I paid out of pocket for. Or no, just buy. By install, I just mean like. Plug in or whatever? Plug in. Yeah, okay. I didn't know if this was a. built-in unit. It just takes regular water, right? Yeah. Okay, fabulous. I mean, I guess, like,
13:49Kate Berlant:unless, you know, you could look it up, but yeah, I mean...
13:54Jacqueline Novak:Well, anyway, I'm gonna look it up. I purchased out-of-pocket Osmosis Rescue Hair Face Serum. This is a$150 USD. Lightweight, restorative, designed to calm stress skin, support visible skin recovery, irritation, redness, blemishes. We all remember
14:11Kate Berlant:the whole thing was no product, Cetaphil.
14:16Jacqueline Novak:Well, no, that's what I, so I'm still, so here's what I'm doing. Vanicream, I'm still doing almost nothing. I'm doing Vanicream cleanser. I'm doing CeraVe or Vanicream lightweight moisturizer. If I want something heavier, I really do like the Dew Skin Angel one, whatever it's called, Instant Angel for something thicker. And then I've been using just as a gag because it was gifted to me the chanel serum at night and then i'm i'm sorry it's expensive it was also a gift the expensive goddamn you're not gonna believe what i'm saying la mare under eye it's like spackle and i'm sorry i do think it's good for under eye it's like really rich but i'm sure it could be duped well you know they say they say it's nivea you know plus whatever and i'm like okay then it's nivea i'm paying the early days right the early days
15:05Kate Berlant:they blessed it no they blessed it like nuns blessed it? something someone you're kidding I'm sort of picturing a shirtless man doing it nuns with an interest because you know the habit covers everything but the face that's the only little skin they can seduce each other with nuns tits wrinkle free at 50 they show each other their tits what a waste I actually had the first sexual nuns the first nuns that say we're having sex in here and we're not ashamed to say it well they are always fucking not always
15:44Jacqueline Novak:but obviously the convents are the walls are steaming yeah
Read the full transcript
15:49Kate Berlant:the glass is steaming up and they're just screaming to God while you know I think they're letting letting the Christ light in
15:56Jacqueline Novak:yeah well wait I had speaking of Christ light I returned to Olympic spa without you which was shocking last time I went was with Jacqueline. That is where we came up with POOG in 2019. I went, so now to go, you have to schedule a body treatment. You can't just go and like spend the day there. Yeah.
16:15Kate Berlant:I had my partner. So you've never been scrubbed. You'd never been scrubbed. I had been scrubbed once. I did it once.
16:21Jacqueline Novak:Yeah. So this was, I got the full milk and honey treatment. Yes. Which is, it ain't cheap. It's like 190 bucks. But you guys, I was scrubbed in a way where I go, you really leave and you go, I was dirty. And I scrub. I have a loofah in the shower. I take baths near daily. I scrub. Like, I would say I'm committed to hygiene. I, the way she scrubbed me. And then you just realize. It's also with that violent mitt, right? It's very violent. Yeah. In American culture, you go like, God, we're just, we're filthy. Like the skin, there's no, but what it involves was the full body scrub. And then she literally poured milk all over my body, which I thought when it said milk in the description, I thought that just meant like a bath milk.
17:09Jacqueline Novak:I didn't think it would literally be like dairy milk. It was like kind of gross, but I was into it. But then she pours literal honey all over my body. Honey. Massages? Yeah, massages. Gave me a full body massage. She's scrubbing unbelievable. Over the honey? No, no. First, sorry. First scrub. So she doesn't scrub. No soap, nothing. Just scrub, scrub scrub hot water water scrub scrub hot water then comes the milk then comes scrub with soap which feels so good like you're just scrubbed yes she goes behind your ears she's going hell yeah well that's what you're hoping for behind the ears oh behind the ears behind the neck everywhere and i'm sorry i asked something to say she scrubbed my armpits in a way where i go yeah i'm like oh yeah and i have to say then for like 24 hours my armpits smelled incredible like just it was really
17:57Kate Berlant:surreal and then washes my hair oh my god and and and just want to really paint the picture of people is this in that common area i mean back yeah so there's an area separate from the various you know pools yes and it in my memory partitions there's a partition and then over there is like a
18:18Jacqueline Novak:bunch of like steel tables yeah so they're not you pop yeah that's like a massage table you pop onto it. But isn't it metal?
18:26Kate Berlant:Cause they're, they're, they're cleaning you like water.
18:29Jacqueline Novak:They're cleaning you.
18:29Kate Berlant:So it's not metal, but it's like, I don't know what it is. It's not, but it's not fat. It's not leather. Like this isn't like, it's very clean. In order to do this kind of work, it has to be almost like you're in a sink. Like that, that's kind of the feeling to me. Like, no, no, totally. It felt very, the soap is rolling off the table. Do they have a hole? I forget.
18:47Jacqueline Novak:Yeah. Yeah. They have buckets of water. It feels very clean, but the massager on my neck, As we all know, I had a traumatic experience with a high zoo, was really panicking about that. So when she starts sitting on my neck, I start getting scared and I start going, she's going to dissect me. I'm having full anxiety. So I'm about to shoot my stand-up comedy special. I'm having, oh God, I'm going to die before the special.
19:13Kate Berlant:You're going to go vanity, you know, like preparation killed or whatever. Yeah, exactly.
19:20Jacqueline Novak:And then you know what I thought? I was on the table and I go, well, you know, I've been filming all my sets. So my loved ones will look through that footage and I'll put something on YouTube.
19:30Kate Berlant:I think it would go bigger than YouTube, especially in your death.
19:36Jacqueline Novak:Well, yeah. Hey, but anyway, but so what's funny to me is that I have the experience. And then after it's over, my first thought was it's a miracle I survived because there's like a roughness to how she was moving me around. and she said a couple times like are you okay and I was like yep but I have to say I was a little miracle you survived they're like I wasn't treatment they do all day every day to hundreds exactly that's exactly what Naomi said like oh yeah like one person dies a day it's just yeah I signed the release cremate them in the back like yeah like my but that was actually how I felt but then you emerge you feel so clean and I have to say something the level of relaxation which is like you think sure you're gonna be relaxed no no no you kind of can't anticipate it and the rest of the day was just defined by this calm and then i felt this really amplified because my i had to print something out my printer of course doesn't fucking work right and ordinarily this would make me seize up my jaw i'd be like swearing i'd be like back there like life is impossible how does anyone do this shit and instead i just kind of smiled you know what i'll just get the venue to print it out right i was on my way to the show i go i'll just ask someone in the office to print
20:50Kate Berlant:it out they have a working printer they're i've done that and i go you delete this file you delete
20:55Jacqueline Novak:this file no i said the same thing i was like this is like my diary like this is sacred yeah i know but then i just and so it almost makes me scared but i just had to give it up to god i know you
21:04Kate Berlant:have to do it yeah you have to i've done it i've done it yeah i've like had them print out 50 pages
21:19Jacqueline Novak:as you know here on the pod we are obsessed with our health and how to better understand
21:25Kate Berlant:our bodies i've been paying a lot more attention to well how my body recovers after a workout because recovery fuels the next workout am i right what surprised me is that how much of how you feel during training, it starts in the blood with biomarkers that a lot of people don't even think about. Things like magnesium, your iron, hormone levels, markers that often affect how you feel in each workout.
21:50Jacqueline Novak:And, you know, we all notice shifts in our energy and our mood throughout the month. And I've been very curious about how to better understand these shifts. And here's the thing. Hormonal health is often overlooked in medicine. And these markers affect more than just your cycle. They can shape your energy, your mood, strength, how you're feeling every day, estrogen, testosterone, fertility indicators, proteins that control your hormones. All of this is part of a much bigger picture. And that's why I love Function, 160 lab tests a year. And you can actually see where your hormones stand. You don't have to wait until something feels off to start asking those questions to your doctor.
22:32Kate Berlant:It's about what's happening in the blood, and that's why the blood work calls to me. I want to know about the magnesium, the iron, the hormone levels. When those factors are dialed in, oh, you get the results you're looking for. You're feeling good when you're working out. That's why I use function, 160 plus lab tests a year, so I can see exactly what's going on, not guess at it. Something's working against my training. I want to know. That's what actually taking care of your performance looks like. I'm pretty excited to get my blood work and send it to function. Let them work up a dense document, take me through it and get into the details.
23:11Jacqueline Novak:And it really feels like you're taking care of yourself because you are taking care of yourself. I use function and you should too. Check your health the way I do. Over 160 lab tests a year for$365. Join at functionhealth.com slash hags or use gift code HAGS25 for$25 credit toward your membership.
23:38Kate Berlant:I mean, I don't know that I've ever had as peak an experience as when I was in Russia in college.
23:45Jacqueline Novak:Oh, being slapped with the bamboo. Yeah, the whole experience.
23:49Kate Berlant:The Banya experience. Yeah, the Banya. the birch the birch branches soak in the boiling water you put them in your own bucket of boiling water and then you go and you do a yes no no the to
24:02Jacqueline Novak:soften them yeah or not or you
24:04Kate Berlant:know you know no they I think it is boiling or it comes out too hot to touch yeah you drop it in there and then you go do a round right you do a round of the dry sauna the wet sauna the cold plunge back around back around come back for the birch branches now that they've been lightly softened
24:20Jacqueline Novak:make them into the dry sauna and they
24:22Kate Berlant:start beating you me and my friend Liz as I've said before we're beating each other the old women had to stop us and be like don't beat each other's tits okay oh my god you're like you don't need to do it there like we're just like trying to get everywhere yeah my entire skin had a marbled mottled quality when I finally left okay brought on by the plunges after the stimulation where literally red and white marble under the surface of blood flow right not surface damage of any kind we walked out of there we went we we had lunch and it was i it was it was a high jacqueline
24:55Jacqueline Novak:like no other anyway yes the spa by the way it was like empty there were maybe there were under 10 women there it's women only there were under 10 people there i'm not maybe there were 10 like it was very quiet very and you remember the jade room like the jade area where people can sit Oh, yeah. I love the job floor. Yeah, yeah. There was no one there. Oh, yeah. Remember I was like, this is my workplace. No, I remember. I remember every day. I know. I know. And I would have the soup. What's a bummer is they no longer have the mugwort bath. Really? Yeah, which I was kind of like. I wonder why. I really wonder too.
25:31Jacqueline Novak:Like a post-COVID. I don't know. But it was exquisite. And then so because I'm doing this like special prep, wedding prep, you know how it goes.
25:40Kate Berlant:Yeah.
25:40Jacqueline Novak:Tomorrow I'm going, because I've wanted to do this for a while, to a Japanese head spa called Blow Me Away on 3rd Street. I've been wanting to try this out. It feels ridiculous to do it. I would love to go. This other thing, meet me there tomorrow. I bet you get an appointment. They go scalp treatment, hair treatment. They massage your head, lymph. Because by the way, the blood flow at the scalp, and we know this, makes your face look better, right? The neck, we know this. We know this. We know this. I want you to just meet me there tomorrow. No, I'm thinking about it. I'm really thinking about it.
26:18Jacqueline Novak:I'm going to send you, because also, literally, I'm not kidding, like seven minutes from your house? Like I'll be right back. No, yeah. I'm just going to text you the name and then I'm going to quickly read you what I'm getting done because everyone wants to know too, I'm sure. Sure do.
26:29Kate Berlant:It sounds like heaven.
26:30Jacqueline Novak:This ain't cheap, okay?
26:31Kate Berlant:Because I'm lying here for listeners on my back with my eyes completely covered with my ice pack.
26:38Jacqueline Novak:Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, hang on. Almost there, almost there, almost there. And this woman, I'm specifically going to Arisa. I'm sure all the specialists there are fabulous, but this is who my friend goes to. Okay, listen to this. This is what I'm getting tomorrow. The scalp and lymph detox treatment. Mm-hmm. A holistic treatment designed to restore scalp health, hair vitality, and inner balance. Adding massage for the neck, shoulders, and hands helps stimulate lymphatic flow and flush out toxins that may be trapped beneath the scalp. enhancing the detox effect and overall circulation of full body refresh through scalp hair and energy flow where true beauty starts from within so i love that and by the way i instantly go i need that weekly the classic thing of like i'm gonna get it and i'm gonna detox and it's all gonna come through my skin right before i shoot it's not gonna happen um right yeah right right right right so i'm getting that and then i'm going back to jumi the day i mean you could ask i mean you
27:32Kate Berlant:could ask that if you go this is one of these things where you know i can't purge i can't
27:37Jacqueline Novak:purge this week.
27:38Kate Berlant:Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think it's, I think it's fair to ask. You're right. Otherwise you're going to do the whole thing, Kate, where if you have blemish, you're going to go, you're going to be, I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. And you always think, you know, exactly why and how you got sick, which is one of the great lies. And it's so funny.
27:53Jacqueline Novak:Yeah.
27:54Kate Berlant:Yeah. You whittle the world down to your most recent diagnosis. Speaking of, it's actually a huge episode with me. Oh, I really also, at some point I need to tell the people about my mole excision.
28:06Jacqueline Novak:So of course I'm having a manageable, but last couple of days, some real anxiety, OCD thoughts around, of course, because of something as heightened as taping a standup special, right? My big fear is like, I won't survive to get there. Like I'm nervous about the actual taping, of course. And like, whatever. Yeah. But it's like, my big fear is right. I'll be sick. I'll get a cold, right? Or my friend getting food poisoning from goop. I go, imagine if I had eaten goop the day of and was barfing. You know, like, it's like all the things that can go wrong. And of course, the big one, as we all know, getting sick, right?
28:39Jacqueline Novak:Cold. So I'm experimenting with - You can actually knock out all the things from a cold. That's what Naomi said to me. With like four specific ingredients that you take all at once. And you get the shot. The doctor comes over, gives you the B12, and then you're Mariah Carey singing
28:55Kate Berlant:through a cold but it's even like yeah and it's even like there's a whole you know it's like
29:00Jacqueline Novak:pseudofed plus blah blah blah plus yeah yeah exactly no no you can reanimate your corpse yeah do what you have to do which is actually richards yeah which is really soothing in moments like that but i so last night i had to just don't obsess and put your body no i'm not i feel okay today that's why i'm doing relaxation that's why the the korean spa the head spa the facial moving staying calm spa taking baths sleep eight hours minimum okay but i have begun and this is people talk about this but i'm trying it this week because my partner who's very susceptible to covid and colds was on tour everyone in their you know community close vicinity got sick except for them and guess what they were doing astapro nose spray i've never even heard of it so it's a non-habit forming.
29:50Jacqueline Novak:It's basically a clonies.
29:52Kate Berlant:That's the stuff that you and me both got. That's the stuff I was telling you, take that eustachian tube collapse thing.
29:58Jacqueline Novak:Is that the same thing? Yeah, I think so. So the combo. So what you do, and I'm only doing this because, again, I had a wedding last night. I have a kind of crowded event tomorrow. So I'm like, I'm just going to spray this for a few days, even though it's non-habit forming and it's safe to use. It's not like Afrin or anything. I'm trying this combo. And then I have Covixil nasal spray, which is supposed to be like, it adds a protective layer to your nasal passage.
30:24Kate Berlant:Well, that's what Tend was supposed to do, or Fend.
30:26Jacqueline Novak:Fend, exactly. Oh my God, Fend. Where is Fend? I don't know. Look it up. We should find out. So this is all available over the counter, folks. So now I have Astapro and Covixil. And what I'm doing, I do one spray of the Astapro. then you wait two minutes and then you do the covixil to lock it in your nasal passages and I'm experimenting with that and by the way let's just say it's placebo placebo works folks so having this this is my this is my armor right now my body and spirit yeah you know you also have to remember like I mean in most people the body really doesn't allow it no no no that's
31:07Kate Berlant:Sorry, sorry. I'll let you finish. Doesn't allow itself to get sick when it knows that it has shit to do. I mean, this is the classic. The day after the SATs, okay? I know. Everyone gets sick. So you just, I mean, this is what you do. This is what you do. You know, this is classic for you.
31:24Jacqueline Novak:It's like your body holds up. Just don't do anything over the top. No, no, no, no, exactly. No, no, I promise I won't. Even, and this goes back to, again, my partner didn't get sick. day they got home.
31:35Kate Berlant:Have you tried that thing before? What? Like, are you launching a new protocol the week of? Like launching a new nasal spray protocol the week of? No, no, but the nasal spray definitely. Just sounds a little like, I know it's not habit forming. I know it's whatever, but it's just like,
31:47Jacqueline Novak:why are you suddenly like - I did the nasal spray last night. I'm gonna do it tomorrow and then I'm good. You know, I'm just doing it as I go into these dense, crowded areas.
31:56Kate Berlant:Well, that's, but that's the other thing. That's the protective one. The azelostain, I'm not really clear on. The azelostain I'm doing. I mean, do as you please. I'm just trying to watch. I appreciate the concern.
32:05Jacqueline Novak:Yeah. And I'm telling you that I'm doing it. I did it yesterday. I'm having no other side effects. Yeah. Yeah. Once I get to the taping, let it rip. It's more just in the days prior. I really now am fixated on you joining me at the spa tomorrow. It would just be so fun.
32:20Kate Berlant:All right. Well, but don't bring your fixation into my energy field because.
32:24Jacqueline Novak:It's fine. By the way, it won't even be possible.
32:25Kate Berlant:I already have it. I'm already completely. I already have the appointment booked. I already have the appointment booked. No, right. I just mean I want to, but I can't think about it or I'll be thinking about how I've somewhere to be for the next, you know, this is, so do you want to know about my mole excision or not?
32:38Jacqueline Novak:Yes. Wait, didn't you show me?
32:40Kate Berlant:I think so. When it wasn't healing. Oh yeah, I did show you, but I thought the listener would want to know. Yeah, go. So I do the unthinkable and schedule a skin check because I don't know when I did, I did a couple of years ago. I managed to do it again. I get in there, they do it. And then I get home and I'm like, Oh, I forgot to like point out the fact that like that mole like it's fucking new man you know what I mean like I don't remember this mole and so point as I go in and I go I don't remember this one and she goes you know what why don't we schedule a biopsy for it you know if if someone says I don't remember this mole whatever yeah you got to yeah and so we do so I come in for the excision it's very like you know you know it's always interesting when they they do like you can feel them giving you the speech that they do because people are crazy and people have all sorts of like reactions to things you know like like the amount of times i had explained like it'll be local anesthetic you know what i mean like lidocaine and are you allergic to da da da and like yeah like and it'll be very quick and it'll just be a pinch and all it's kind of like like stuff and it's like you know it's like completely fine and nothing and whatever of course so anyway go home that's like whatever they're like only put vaseline and a band-aid on it i'm like fine i'm even kind of like sloppy with it i was like forgetting whatever anyway anyway point is it comes back as like whatever in a regular you know mole or something and it's kind of like hard to understand the thing and it kind of seems like they're saying you know it's it's a non-concern then i dig deeper and it's like excision is recommended so then i'm like chasing them down to be like it says in here it needs to we removed or whatever.
34:21Kate Berlant:And then it did. So it's just like, okay, so if I hadn't chased it down, they wouldn't call me. So then they go, yeah, you know, we're going to remove it. They're like, you know, I'm not worried about it. Oh, this is the thing. It's like, we're going to biopsy it or whatever. And it's like, the biopsy is the removal. That was like, I think I told the listener about that. Point is, I come in to now get it with a shave excision, okay? Which is like, they're shaving off a layer of skin and a little circle around it. and to get rid of any, you know, cells or whatever, right? That could be a concern.
34:54Kate Berlant:Yeah, you do it. You know, send me home. This then begins a week of Band-Aid hell, okay? In which every single bandage I put on, my skin acts like it's being a knife, okay? I had full like like like it like it is it managed to slice this is on my hip so it's kind of like you're moving a lot you know the edge of the band-aid where the bandage had been was literally like a like not a full paper cut you know but like a full scratching a deep scratch with a little like it was fucking raw and then we tried every goddamn bandage in CVS and then everything gave me a new rash the shape of that new bandage we got like a loose like you know non-adhesive like soaking like pad that then I taped on with paper tape two little strips of paper tape right like barely hangs on it's like ridiculous little paper tape leaves a rash I go I've developed an adhesive allergy I can't believe it and then I'm going they said to me when I was doing it do you have allergy to latex or whatever the fuck no evidence of that ever having happened and it's like the thing is and then I'm reading about it they have other options if you don't they can use these other bandages why don't they just use the other bandages why are they just keeping out with the ones that like a certain amount of people but anyway it's just interesting because i really love having i mean this this was actually kind of annoying and unpleasant but there's a way in which i also enjoy having a minor wound okay you know at least i can admit it right yeah like i'm like chris i'm like ouch i'm like will you help me okay i'm like i have to clean i'm like i have to clean my wound okay like i'm like i don't say it like that but i'm like my wound.
37:05Kate Berlant:Okay. And I'm like, I'm like, I've cleaned it. I have to lay on my side now and do the Vaseline. Will you place this new bandage on? Okay. And like, then he does it. And it's that thing where someone puts a bandage on that pat, pat, pat down the sides or like their finger, like smoothing the part of the bandage down, the adhesive. There's like, it's, it's almost like the head spa or the scrubbing. It's like, there is something in us that to have the tending done by other hands, it just, it does something to us. It's real. No, of course it is. By the way, it takes me back to the Korean spa.
37:39Jacqueline Novak:That's what I was just saying. Yeah, no, no. Yeah, yeah, the scrubbing. Having someone tend to your body, that's what the calm came from.
37:46Kate Berlant:It's like, I was just like embodied.
37:49Jacqueline Novak:Laying in the hands. And then I was reduced to flesh. And someone else's, it's like, yeah. No, no, no, to carry the responsibility
37:57Kate Berlant:of your body in that way. It's really, so I was loving that. I don't know.
38:01Jacqueline Novak:By the way,
38:02Kate Berlant:I have to leave soon. Love you.
38:06Jacqueline Novak:That was POOG. If you enjoyed POOG, please subscribe, rate, and review. If not, we will press charges.
From the publisher
The Habit covers everything but the face. Jacqueline reflects on the self-authority lockdowns produced, while Kate revisits the birthplace of Poog. A honey and milk scrub conjures fears of dissection. Awards for ghost kitchens through the lens of fertility and zits in a line. Jacqueline shares the results of a skin check. Placebo works, folks! Drawing the blinds and doing incantations over tofu — don’t bring fixation into someone else’s energy field. Memories of the Russian banya, marbled skin and tending by other hands. This could go bigger than Youtube.