In short
The “myth of the heckler” in comedy, plus Jacqueline’s shingles scare and Kate’s rant about unripe restaurant produce (nectarine salad). They also discuss wellness gadgets (neurofeedback/brain scanning), dream logic, and stress/illness management.
Guests
None. The episode is hosted by Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak (no additional guests appear).
Guest backgrounds (if any)
Not applicable.
Key claims
- Hecklers are rare in comedy; Kate describes a terrifying live heckler who talked during her special taping and derailed her anxiety.
- Shingles is caused by reactivated chickenpox virus; it travels along nerve lines, often wrapping around the rib (dermatones).
- Early antivirals (within 72 hours) matter; Jacqueline got treatment quickly.
- A high-end restaurant can charge full price for clearly unripe produce; the “nectarine salad” was hard and was removed after she complained.
Notable examples
- Kate’s special taping: a woman repeatedly spoke/reacted on camera; Kate confronted her and later used row-by-row “power down phones” coaching.
- Osteria Angelini (LA): “nectarine salad” arrived rock-hard; server admitted they were “quite crunchy,” removed it, yet they were charged.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOPersonal Updates and Shingles
0:15 to 1:41
Jacqueline shares her experience with shingles and their health discussions.
“Today's topic, loosely speaking, nectarine salad, lash, uncharmable.”
Heckler at the Comedy Show
1:41 to 6:17
Kate recounts her experience with a heckler during her special taping.
“So I had to brazenly make choices literally without consulting you at all, which is actually the only way, you know what I mean?”
Understanding Shingles and Its Impact
6:17 to 8:39
Discussion around shingles, its causes, and personal health implications.
Doctor Visit and Diagnosis
8:39 to 14:01
Jacqueline describes her visit to urgent care and interactions with the doctor.
Navigating Health Conversations
14:01 to 16:41
Learn how the hosts humorously discuss health diagnoses and medications.
Dealing with Isolation and Stress
16:41 to 19:51
Explore the emotional impact of solitude and the challenges of self-mastery during illness.
“Like, I'm like, I'm alone in my illness.”
Dealing with Isolation and Stress
23:29 to 24:56
Explore the emotional impact of solitude and the challenges of self-mastery during illness.
“If for any reason you're not satisfied, well, Element's customer service team will take care of you.”
Dealing with Isolation and Stress
25:02 to 25:19
Explore the emotional impact of solitude and the challenges of self-mastery during illness.
A Restaurant Anecdote
25:19 to 28:00
Hear a funny story about a disappointing restaurant experience and the hosts' reaction.
“And I remarked to my partner, it's a little early for nectarines.”
Dining Disappointments and Restaurant Reflections
28:00 to 39:20
The hosts discuss their experiences with disappointing restaurant dishes and the complexities of dining expectations.
“So then she leaves, whatever she comes back, she's clearing for the next course.”
Show all 14 chapters
Dining Disappointments and Restaurant Reflections
39:23 to 41:27
The hosts discuss their experiences with disappointing restaurant dishes and the complexities of dining expectations.
“Whether I'm heading to a backyard BBQ, running errands, or just enjoying the nice weather, my Raycon Essential open earbuds have basically become part of my daily routine.”
Plans for the Evening and Movie Discussions
43:38 to 45:55
The hosts discuss their evening plans, including meeting up at the Grove and movie preferences.
“Visit the website for full terms and conditions.”
Passport Retrieval and Health Scans
45:55 to 48:38
Jacqueline shares a story about retrieving her passport and experiences with health scans.
“Yeah, of course you're like getting scanned, but it's like, you're just, you know, if anyone, you're just in your little, you're just laying there.”
Wrap-up and Podcast Reflections
48:38 to 50:35
Kate and Jacqueline wrap up the episode with reflections on the podcast and future plans.
“I think that, you know, yeah, I think that.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Jacqueline Novak:Hi, I'm Kate Berlant. I'm Jacqueline Novak.
0:03Kate Berlant:And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends, two untameable intellects.
0:09Jacqueline Novak:This is our hobby. This is our hell. This is our naked desire for free products. This is POOG.
0:15Kate Berlant:Today's topic, loosely speaking, nectarine salad, lash, uncharmable.
0:24Kate Berlant:how are you um i mean i'm miserable but i'm i'm also fine you know what i mean yeah
0:32Jacqueline Novak:jacqueline has shingles to be clear she has a non the non horrifying it's in your eye it's on your face shingles but still horrifying nonetheless yeah it's a light rash on the um on the ribs but I thought it was back pain for a couple days blah blah blah and then uh wait this end yeah it turned off just taking my thing off here so I've just powered up the brain with a
1:01Kate Berlant:on the cellular level in my v-light whatever are you really on that thing arguably well I missed like two weeks but i was putting it out like a bank shite and um you know so i'm back on but uh and then i have a new device that i purchased out of pocket what is it um there's so much we haven't recorded i don't think we've ever gone this long without recording don't you agree i don't know i think I'm not sure maybe I think so because there's so much that there is a lot so it's it's it's endless because the last one that was was um called like special prep and it was before you're recording your special okay so yeah like a month a little over a month ago and we were talking about like you know the wedding right like what am I doing I'm going and yes yes um and I think you
1:58Jacqueline Novak:talked about your scrub yeah jacqueline i'll just say quickly jacqueline jacqueline was at my my special tapings and she became a genius audience coordinator and was the backbone of my emotional well-being it was the honor of my life now what was wild about it was a couple things but
2:17Kate Berlant:i was i sprung into action you gave me you know permission after the first night whatever but you I sprung into action with the, but you weren't around because obviously you were in the green room and stuff. So I had to brazenly make choices literally without consulting you at all, which is actually the only way, you know what I mean?
2:38Jacqueline Novak:That was amazing. Just so the listener understands my first night of my show, my special taping, I had a heckler, which has essentially never happened. It never happens in comedy generally, like the myth of the heckler, but I came on stage and before I opened my mouth I noticed oh no we've got a lunatic because there was a woman and she had her drink on my stage like she rested her drink on the stage which is like obviously like the most rude unimaginable thing let alone the fact it would be rude if it were just a regular show right but there's like there's cameras everywhere you're fully aware like so crazy.
3:15Jacqueline Novak:And then within five minutes of getting on stage of doing my standup, she's like talking to me. She's like reacting in real time. Like I'm saying like, you know, and she's going, huh? What? I don't know that. And then she wouldn't stop. She did it again. And then I thank God I looked at her. I was like, you have to stop. And then she did, but it was terrifying. I spent the rest of the show completely consumed with anxiety. She would start talking again. It did derail basically the whole show for me. I would say it ends up being fine like and thank god the odd no one really knew because it's a small space the only people that were aware of her talking to me it was like the first two rows yeah no no because
3:53Kate Berlant:i was in the back and you couldn't hear anything or whatever no i just know you and i literally
3:59Jacqueline Novak:saw the tiniest you gotta stop yeah or like stop yeah it's like so small and um it's funny like
4:08Kate Berlant:I have video of one of my special recordings like like a like me full on like going after these people because they were just like talking like in the first balcony just like
4:18Jacqueline Novak:each other like they were that's so crazy what is wrong with people like full Muppets like
4:23Kate Berlant:and but anyway it was like I'm just going how is that happening I have to step in
4:30Jacqueline Novak:certain things only another comedian can understand and understand and so I took on
4:36Kate Berlant:my greatest honor which is to see a comedy special midwife um but the crowds were were
4:43Jacqueline Novak:wonderful everyone was great again it's it's i mean how long have i been doing stand-up it's like on it's so it's like almost never happened people really know how to behave but every now and then you get someone who i it's beyond comprehension but i met a lot of hags in the audience and i just
5:00Kate Berlant:It became, you know, just making sure that anyone particularly in the front understood. It's like, we're all on the same team here. And they understand. Like, I start to go up to them, like, hey, just, you know, they're like, laugh a lot. I'm like, don't, no, don't worry about it. Like, just, you know, live your life. You know what I mean? Because it's like, hey, guys, we really need laughs here.
5:23Jacqueline Novak:You're fine.
5:23Kate Berlant:I'm just like, just like, you know, don't respond verbally to anything. Which everyone understands. understands and they all acted like yeah of course i was like you'd be surprised no no you you i really appreciate you really fun doing that it was immensely satisfying i had to tell a couple like children in the back i went then i went row by row it's like once you're already doing it went row by row with them telling people to power down their phones not just like sort of silence them and then an alarm goes off and you know all sorts of stuff whatever it was it was an absolute blast
5:58Jacqueline Novak:special it'll be out in time but you you were amazing and the and the best thing was after i being able after i'm done being with jacklyn going to swingers two couples yeah going to
6:10Kate Berlant:swingers reflecting on a wild an evening of wild success it was beautiful but jacklyn i'm gonna take care of days to hear that i fell ill jacklyn novak i know i know she fell ill so obviously this is a i joke because illness you know you can't as caroline you can't reason with illness okay and and the blame and all that kind of stuff but just as a gag i'm gonna say like guys i failed us i fell ill okay by which i mean to to shingles which you know it's just a shock because it's it's like you know berlant right walks around terrified of illness coming in from the outside right meanwhile like shingles is like is like you know the calls coming from inside the
6:53Jacqueline Novak:house but i don't understand because you're young for shingles what i don't understand is they say get john early got at 18 no stop so the reason that it's associated with old age so so so
7:05Kate Berlant:you can't get the vaccine like they give it to you in your 50s yeah and but you know on reddit and everywhere it's like and the doctors they're like younger and younger the reason that it's associated with older is because people's immune systems and their just ability to fight things off is weaker okay so so this is why i'm calling it a failure you know i'm like so my immune system is weak i mean stress that you know stress they're like you're you're stressed and then what shingles is just in case anyone doesn't realize the chicken pox virus when if you have it when your child as i did yeah me too okay most of very common um it doesn't you know ever completely leave the system it hides in like uh in the vertebrae or the or it's not exactly the vertebrae but it's essentially to the side of one of the vertebrae okay and then years later you know you're weak you're stressed it has a chance a foothold to finally okay and then it travels down that particular vertebrae's nerve line which that's why it's called the shingles because it's just a band that goes around the rib because that's where the nerve goes and they call them dermatones so like the body has these stripes of of the skin that are like related to the nerve that lies underneath
8:26Jacqueline Novak:it kind of deep deep underneath it so anyway so you get the rash and how much pain are you in
8:34Kate Berlant:well for like two days maybe it's longer I want it to be two days because I wouldn't believe that I got on the antivirals within 72 hours so I'm already like I'm like pushing it but I'm like several days before I had like back pain that was like keeping me up at night which normally it doesn't normally if I have like you know a pulled muscle or something and I actually woke in the night like with a with my usual spot kind of which happens to be that same area which actually makes you wonder you know maybe that's why anyway and I had this annoying backache that was in this area that was different than normal such that I was laying on my you know my foot thing my chi vitalizer probe obviously that dances my feet wildly I was sticking my back on it okay and having it send me back and forth to try to get out this feeling that was really unpleasant and then googling trying to find um like i'm always looking up you know trigger points and like okay this pain in this spot what's the other spot i need to massage the thing and the ai is like you know blah blah blah but just in case you because i'm oh because it's wrapping around to the rib so i'm like you know trigger point wrapping around to the rib google ai which is like trash and you know blah blah okay i'm just but it's at the top of google me googling my thing and it's like not in a lumbering way but it is like ash because only because you mentioned it wrapping around from the back to the rib it was like just you know if there's a rash you know just consider if if that you know shingles right and i was like oh whatever and then i'm like i mean i don't think i have a rash i go i lift up the shirt tiniest bit tiniest redness of like so normal variety of nothing oh my god i go it's because i've been rubbing the area wildly like trying to work right muscle right my skin like you know if i scratch it it like welts yeah so i was like i'm not touching it whatever if it's there tomorrow there tomorrow a little worse so that evening i went to the doctor i went to urgent care you know it was like this quiet beverly hills summer evening beautiful where that car it's like it's like the urgent care is second floor it's like a gleaming car dealership on the first floor there's just something about it go up there it's like i don't know it's a weird feeling sometimes in summer when you're in a setting that is not like fun summer times you know like you didn't
11:07Jacqueline Novak:leave the city you didn't go to the beach you're just sort of i don't know it's like a very specific feeling it's almost kind of comforting and so so I go in and you know they're like it could be a
11:20Kate Berlant:couple hours I'm like whatever but I read if it is shingles and you get on the antivirals within 72 hours huge difference so I was like I'm waiting meanwhile I got in pretty quick okay huge news this is the same urgent care I went went to when I was sick and I don't remember what it was with the nose drip yes that's what it was the eustachian tube dysfunction okay i see the tiniest swiftest motion of a hard plastic thing going over the thermometer god no i go maybe i missed it last time yeah i missed it okay i don't know but yeah it's hard to say okay because i was sure i didn't miss it but anyway the nurse is good and she's like this doctor is brilliant okay i'm like oh weird like crush yeah she's like you know she didn't say you're gonna love him she's like okay you're gonna be seeing dr santa he's um he's incredible was he gorgeous
12:24Kate Berlant:no i was just imagining like you know like that um i'm like kid i didn't notice his looks okay no no no it wasn't no but i figured it out okay i figured out why she was doing that it's because he has sort of an affect oh some might find off-putting i think okay like what just just like kind of flat like just kind of giving you nothing kind of uncharming you know oh you know like now i can sort of get into that in this other way like so so this i think did you crack him i'll tell you it anyway like oh no well this was such a joke i sort of didn't crack him okay and i continued like a like a to try soft shoeing act me too every time the entire way now to the point where i was essentially doing harder no i go i was doing monologues while he said nothing okay filling the air okay and at one point i approached his desk okay and because he hadn't gotten up I was like well it's just you know I think and I started pulling on my shirt to show him the thing he's like I'll examine you in a minute okay oh my god yeah yeah this is a question point so I did a thing which was like we've talked about this a lot but you know like the hysterical housewife the old days you know it's like it was like oh did you go on web md you know googling your symptoms what a nightmare the the housewife okay now at least they just that's so over i don't even expect it they expect it it's not like whatever and so i go look and this is almost embarrassing because like the word punchline slipped out okay okay you know like like like and then later you find out i'm a comedian it's like jesus she used used the word punch before early and everything because i was like i was like look like because like what brings you here today or whatever you know a lot I'm like I'm like look I I'm not gonna I almost said something like hide the punch line or something okay I was like yeah I was like I'm gonna be real with you I think I have shingles you know like I'm not like but I'm gonna now I'll take you back right and you know I say what I say he asks the questions and every single one and it becomes like oh a lot of pharmaceuticals or something like he's like are you on all of these I'm like you know whatever we start going through those he asks like variety of questions and like you know he's like yes or no we'll do okay oh my god I think made a comment about having to see other people okay and I'm like I just treat every question as like it could be important or why are they asking kind of like yeah wait but are you on list dexamphetamine and I'm like I mean I have a prescription for it I took one yesterday and haven't three months before like I don't yeah like yes or no we'll do it's just like whatever sorry this is like boring yes or no we'll do yeah yeah like and I was like right right right I always forget that you know like okay I just shoot like that right point is whatever goes on haha you know I'm doing my my shtick nothing he finally comes over he examines me and then he's like yep oh I agree with your diagnosis
15:40Jacqueline Novak:is wow how exciting I was soaring yeah I was like you know you know I live for this right when when
15:50Kate Berlant:it's a couple of scott when it's a couple of gentlemen and I'm included you know like Chris said it the other day or I forget just he knew I'd love it you know referred to us as a couple of gentlemen in some context right yeah yeah and I was so happy and uh I I came out like unable to like beaming you know and he's like we'll get you the prescription whatever i was like is it gonna get a little worse before it gets a little better if i said is it gonna be you know is this gonna be hell or something he yeah you know i was trying to be like whatever and uh he's like
16:21Jacqueline Novak:and then it'll get a little worse before it gets better oh it's true whatever okay so so anyway
16:25Kate Berlant:the pain it's just like it's the weirdest thing because it's such an odd ailment because it's this internal thing yet it goes all the way to the surface of the skin it's just like pain under the rib and around the back that feels kind of like I mean some people are like I've never felt pain worse than childbirth and blah blah blah like that I don't understand I was not yeah I mean
16:51Jacqueline Novak:I mean I understand it was varying degrees I mean is I don't want to claim I had that at all
16:56Kate Berlant:yes it was totally fine if like i would take the advil it was a lot better i yeah burn it's sort of like burning itching and sensitive but also under the skin sort of paint whatever it's just bizarre and and then like the advil and this lidocaine cream was you know i put the lidocaine cream it menthols it all up and that pretty much took care of it like you know it's like I couldn't really like I showered and it was like you know and so I was like and then and Chris had to leave so it was sort of like um for a week and so then it then it went into sort of like in a cave with my sickness and there were like a couple days I didn't make it out like you know like even to like the front to get a little son in the end it's okay you know it's just like and then oh but you know a lot of walking around going like before Chris left going like I have shingles yeah totally totally coming out coming out of the bathroom like upstairs like he hears me like I'm like can you believe I have shingles yeah yeah and whatever and um yeah and and then and then the biggest effect is like you know feeling just sort of vaguely like shit tired like would go on a walk got like really tired from like a walk and then just the mood just you know the mood of course primary worst of all you seem great now well you're going to see the odyssey tonight i know i was like less than i was like i don't know that i can say it i was like you know like because it was almost like chris's back you know i had this idea that i'm going to see the odyssey you know and i'm like I still feel like shit.
18:45Kate Berlant:Like, I'm like, no one realizes.
18:47Jacqueline Novak:Like, I'm like, I'm alone in my illness.
18:49Kate Berlant:Like, because, you know, again, I'm still saying I'm supposed to leave tomorrow for tour date. I think seeing the Odyssey is actually going to help you. No, you'd think that.
Read the full transcript
18:59Jacqueline Novak:Okay. Seeing Odysseus.
19:01Kate Berlant:No, absolutely. And I think, like, being in the chair and enjoying it and whatever, you know, it's all fine. But it's just, I'm like, I got to get a handle on the stress. particularly when it's like you go like so I was home for a month like with a cleared schedule basically to do nothing like you know other than well you know work on writing and it's like me alone facing myself greatest greatest stress and challenge like mastery of the self you know what I mean alone with my own creative work in agony oh yeah of course it's just so anyway I was like got to commit to that I've really got to find a way out of um I mean I just is it seriously meditation it's just no let me guess it's let me guess it's it's brunch at Kate's yeah it's community community is real okay you know but then you go the other way and you're like you know I have certain needs you know there was even a piece in my solitude that after a few days I'm like oh wow I need a lot I need so much solitude to finally yeah come home to myself I have no answers why would we you're on the way you're on the way the path
20:29Jacqueline Novak:to healing
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21:30Jacqueline Novak:Unbelievable. Caffeine being added to Element. I stopped in my tracks.
21:36Kate Berlant:Kate, you realize that caffeine doesn't actually give you energy, right?
21:40Jacqueline Novak:I love caffeine, but as you know, you got to be careful with the way you're ingesting caffeine.
21:46Kate Berlant:No, it just blocks the receptors that make you feel tired. That's a painful truth and one that, Well, I guess Element is interested in helping us navigate.
21:56Jacqueline Novak:The combination of the hydration with the electrolytes and Element with the caffeine stabilizes you and it can fit into your day in an easy way versus your usual ways that you go about getting coffee or procuring caffeine.
22:11Kate Berlant:Look, I drink Element because it all started with all the sweating and noticing that I I felt better when I had an electrolyte drink during a deep workout or a sauna session.
22:22Jacqueline Novak:Isolated caffeine, the kind that's in a lot of energy drinks, hits harder and drops faster because there is just nothing there to smooth the curve. Tea, however, works differently. The caffeine comes bundled with L-theanine and polyphenols. And the way that it exists like that naturally in the world is the point. That's what gives you a noticeably steadier feeling. There's less of a spike and less of a drop. Element Lemonade Iced Tea uses a full black tea extract.
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25:18Jacqueline Novak:can i break in with a restaurant story i think the listeners would be thrilled well listen i'm gonna hide the name of this restaurant because it's a restaurant that yeah and by it's not jar okay but it's like it's a restaurant and I'm just gonna tell you quickly what happened so first of all sending food back not what I do generally whatever unless it's egregious so let's just say this I'm at a nice restaurant at a high-end restaurant that I've been to several countless times and we're looking at uh appetizers and there's a salad that says says nectarine nectarine salad and I said this is like almost a month this was a month ago I said God, nectarines.
26:00And I remarked to my partner, it's a little early for nectarines.
26:04Jacqueline Novak:Nectarines are high summer. We're talking about late July, August, right? But I go, this place is so nice. If they have a nectarine salad on the menu, they must have great nectarines. So I go, because we're ordering, we order three salads and I go, you know what? We order two. I go, fuck it. I want the nectarine salad. It's expensive. And I'm like, I want to try it. The nectarine salad drops. I look at the nectarines and I go.
26:26Kate Berlant:other than like you know like a salad like i would never like i i don't even think i would glance the price because once i'm there i'm yeah it's over fuck it totally anyway it's just
26:36Jacqueline Novak:interesting like i wouldn't even clock it i i totally understand yeah anyway go on oh now i want dinner okay so then i'm looking at the nectarines i go huh i take my fork immediately make contact they are hard as fucking rocks they are hard okay i know i know i can sometimes enjoy it i don't know i'm talking about no this is this is no no i take a bite i manage to somehow drive a fork through it i take a bite it is i mean this is completely insane across the room that this one that this was sent out so my partner and i both are like whoa we basically don't touch it there's some like gorgeous parmesan on top some flakes of parmesan we eat a couple pieces of the parmesan John, the other two salads we eat, the server comes over.
27:23Jacqueline Novak:She's like, so what was our favorite salad? I'm looking, I go, well, one is completely almost untouched. So I was like, I'm not going to say anything. I don't want to whatever, but she literally asks. So I go, God, I go, you know, the nectarines aren't ripe. You know, I do it in a very kind of like, oh my God. And she goes, you know, I had them earlier at family meal and they were quite crunchy. And I said, yeah, you know, I thought she downgraded it to quite crunchy, crunchy. Yeah. Right. She was like, yeah, they're, they're, they're pretty crunchy. No, but she's like clearly being like, yeah, they're bad.
27:55Jacqueline Novak:And I was like, yeah, I said, you know, I thought it's quite early for, for nectarines, but I figured, I don't know. So then she leaves, whatever she comes back, she's clearing for the next course. She goes, and should I get this out of here? The next, the basically untouched nectarine salad. I go, yeah, it disappears. And I, and I turned to Naomi
28:13Kate Berlant:me and I go there's not a world that's on the bill right right and we're like I mean agree okay right
28:19Jacqueline Novak:so let's so guys so go what do you think happened cut to we were charged for it of course 36 dollars take that in wait wait wait wait okay maybe it was 26 maybe it's 26 maybe I would glance at the bill this is this is maybe it was 26 yeah I guess 36 would almost be completely insane it was 26 which is very expensive and I just did not sit right with me and then I have another announcement which is the other salad featured figs the figs were not sweet the figs were not sweet and because the nectarines were so egregious the figs somehow right we're like we can't also acknowledge the figs but to live a produce a fucking emergency and I was so fixated I was in the bathroom peeing sorry to use that language and I said I was on the can out loud I said I found myself out loud saying shouldn't have gone out.
29:10Jacqueline Novak:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shouldn't have gone out. And I'll just say this because this is the history of all good restaurants, but where were we? Or you weren't with me. I was with Naomi and our moms at Osteria Angelini here in Los Angeles. They have one of my favorite dishes, which is artichoke dish. It's always on the menu. And I said, and the artichokes. And he said, Oh, I'm so sorry. We're not serving those tonight because they're not up to standards. yes yes and i go yes sometimes you go guess what went to the farmer's market where they're not no we're not serving it how do you how do you send them out of your kitchen and then you're charging
29:47Kate Berlant:you're charging me no whenever there's a thing where it's one thing you eat the whole thing i mean i still technically think you have your rights but it's like basically untouched there's a reason why it's untouched they acknowledge the problem with it okay it just feels like at that point it's a disappointment it's kind of like makes it feel like they're afraid of their own chef which i'm sure they are but yeah but although it's not like they go to the chef about it they go to the right if it i mean if they had to get approval right wouldn't it be from the manager
30:23Jacqueline Novak:like yeah i mean i just think you you take it over you go they didn't touch this they say it's unripe and yeah it is unripe it's kind of like unless we ate every crumb of every other dish yeah yeah right right it feels like you know that it's like well that's circumstantial evidence you
30:41Kate Berlant:know like like it could be like they filled up on the other two you know admit it you filled up
30:46Jacqueline Novak:there's also a key detail or just a detail i noticed when she took it away she had a little aside with someone looking at the plate so that even for me went oh it's definitely off the
30:58Kate Berlant:incredible it almost feels like um because she asked and dug it out of you like it's almost like it's her fault for asking you like so she doesn't get off because it's like it's like yeah it's like I dug that out of them right like it's almost like she could be blamed herself like like if if the manager or the chef complained yeah why did you ask them if this out you gave them an opportunity and then you confirmed it like don't do that if you ask if you ask someone what they thought about the salad we'd have to take everything off the menu people complain about everything i'm not saying i agree kate i'm just saying i know i know what went through her head possibly um well i will be going back it's a beloved funny when they've got you by the balls by the way when it's a neighborhood restaurant where it's like well this is the the restaurant downstairs so i'll be coming here again forever i know like when we used to live on 71st street like West 71st and I would go I would get these special things like I would get these julienne vegetables where it was like I just wanted all these vegetables that you could see existed and all these other dishes and like such a regular that yeah I come in and he goes and the julienne you know amazing and so you can work out almost like well this is clearly going to be my dinner three times a week so given that I feel like then you get a level of you do you get a level of accommodation you get a level of particularly because it becomes easy it's like they know the thing you want yeah but when they've got you by the balls because they're the corner restaurant you know there's a negotiation that that can occur because you keep coming back even though you know it's like you want it to work like we were reflecting on this restaurant near 71st like on columbus when we lived there we were just talking about together like remember you know blah blah blah yeah i don't even want to say it but it was like you know it was like because it's like what is that place called and then you like pull it up and you're like oh yeah i pull it up from the brain and you're like like we remembered the first night the honeymoon night of like walking back from watching fireworks on the west side highway we just sort of like strolled over and watched fireworks like yeah saw them off the west side highway walked back stumbled into this restaurant that was like brand new that night it had these french fries that were sort of like covered in chimichurri sort of like it was sort of their approach and um you know it felt like this is like this is gonna be big for us yeah the new spot then the place fell apart on us like we had like you know you go in you sit down they leave you there for like 45 minutes you cannot flag someone down shit to get a menu or uh and then you leave i always something wrong like you
33:34Jacqueline Novak:know yeah we've been here for 45 yeah desperately flagging you from the chairs seeking eye contact
33:40Kate Berlant:like a wild beast um anyway but we were like yeah and i fell apart but it was fun um um
33:49Jacqueline Novak:is this just los angeles california chicken cafe and they have vegan options i want to be clear california chicken cafe um has incredible food and people you know all of la people you know uh as a goop alternative it's tastier cheaper and the wraps are fresher and i had a california chicken cafe wrap i had two days in a row i it's fucking unbelievable and they have a vegan one that my partner loved and i'm literally like i want it now and i think they have them just oh my god i'm seeing a picture of them on the website and i'm like gonna start crying they It looks so good. And they do pita inside.
34:35Jacqueline Novak:They put pita chips in the wrap. So there's a crunch there. What, in the vegan one? Yeah, I think in all of them.
34:42Kate Berlant:Oh, in all of them. No, I was like, because sometimes, you know, it's like they like junk food it up in the vegan ones to try to like. Oh, yeah. And it's like, you know, we vegans probably like the taste of vegetables. You know what I mean? Although I will say I was ordering from Love Organic Cafe while I was alone here. by the way i've just completely like destroyed i just my leg is like it's it's not i'm not trying to claim shingles here but i've just scratched my leg and now it's like you know full you know beet red oh no uh love organic cafe whatever it's like got a lot of vegan stuff and i just ordered these these you know who the hell knows what they're made of but these vegan like not chicken uh nuggets oh like seitan or whatever the hell yeah i mean but you know it tastes like a chicken nugget like a dumbass chicken nugget heaven on earth okay like comes with like a little ketchup okay yum yum yum watching the great rachel getting married hadn't seen in a
35:45Jacqueline Novak:few years so would you bring it up we were talking about the other day i haven't seen it in so long i think we were talking about the other day because i texted you said i just revisited Rachel getting married no you didn't we'll have to see I would remember by the way I had a nightmare
35:58Kate Berlant:last night that we all we went to the Odyssey as planned and we're sitting there waiting for some reason we're there like a half hour early as a dream yeah okay and then because I had like saved this kidnapped little girl in this at this other event the next night there was kind of a event with the saved little girl where it was like we were recounting what had occurred and I was like I gotta be there I mean like I I saved her essentially like why am I not gonna be there and I was trying to tell you that like look like almost like my day job is kind of like working for the FBI like these kinds of cases Kate so like fortunately like it is important like I can't just give up my like you know extra work you know non-showbiz work like I was like I kind of got to be there and and and really I wanted to be there because I wanted the glory right I want to make sure the story got told correctly and and I'll tell you how I saved her also but but we're sitting there and I'm like realizing that's happening and it's like and we're sitting and the movie's not starting for another half an hour and then we all kind of float out like oh we'll do something else and then before I know it it's like we're leaving and then I realized like I never acknowledged them that I mean we went to see a movie and then we all left like based on me like that's like insane anyway I just I felt really bad about it even though I had my reasons but in the dream it was like there was this giant concert and this like little like child goes missing and at first I have the entire crowd chanting in unison I like get up on the stage I'm like doing this whole thing and then I I grab the mic and sort of like work my way into the like dancing but then I like take control yeah have the whole crowd like in unison saying like you know where are you Sophie or something oh my god looking for you yeah so if we come back or something it wasn't Sophie but I don't remember and so we're doing that it's really loud and whatever and like and there's chaos and then the half the crowd's like waiting for the bathrooms in the hallways and then and then I go down and and here on Poog we believe dreams are more interesting than reality exactly so you know instead of apologizing so because I think it's kind of interesting and then I go okay okay and then i and then i take the mic again and i go now everyone we're gonna all count together like down from 10 and when we get to 10 we're all gonna go silent so we can hear if her she's somewhere because obviously all the noise to get full silence everywhere so i'm like dad
38:34Kate Berlant:like zero okay and then silence and then you hear like um you hear the sort of the sound of something hitting porcelain like in a bathroom kind of and we look oh no closed door and then like this woman goes and opens it and they're like behind sort of the the the toilet is like you know the kid now the kid is 12 inches tall you know what Tiny. They're, yeah, like in the dream how they sometimes are, you know. And they bring it out. You know, it's saved. It's glorious. And yeah, I wanted my glory.
39:20Jacqueline Novak:This message is sponsored by Raycon. With summer in full swing and so many celebrations happening this year, Whether I'm heading to a backyard BBQ, running errands, or just enjoying the nice weather,
39:30Kate Berlant:my Raycon Essential open earbuds have basically become part of my daily routine.
39:34Jacqueline Novak:Raycon Essential open earbuds are a breeze to wear, and they're open ears, so you can listen to music or a podcast, all while still hearing what's going on around. Do you understand? It's called safety, while enjoying audio delights. And they sound amazing, but again, are just so comfortable. You can wear them during a commute, on an airplane. They sound amazing. They're comfortable to wear.
39:57Kate Berlant:Yeah, I've been loving them lately. And I got news for you. They're 20 % off if you want to check them out yourself.
40:04Jacqueline Novak:These earbuds sit just outside your ear canal so you can really get clear sound, but you can actually hear what's going on around you. And that awareness is perfect for working out, going on a walk, or if you just want to know what's going on around you. They're really light and the ear hook part rotates so they actually stay in. They don't fall out and they don't get uncomfortable. I've been using these constantly ever since they arrived.
40:26Kate Berlant:Whether I'm popping over to the gym or going to get a coffee or just working from home, these are the ones I reach for over, you know, other earbuds because I can still hear what's going on around me without sacrificing sound quality. I mean, honestly, they become a part of my daily routine.
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41:18Jacqueline Novak:and they're really comfortable. They're so easy to integrate into your daily routine.
41:23Kate Berlant:The essential open earbuds are a great option for everyday listening. Go to buyraycon.com slash poogopen to get 20 % off. Thanks to Raycon for sponsoring.
41:43Kate Berlant:We are very excited to partner with Vori.
41:48Jacqueline Novak:Viori products are so versatile and comfortable. You can wear these clothes to work out, but then you can also head to the office or run an errand or meet up with a friend and not feel insane. I love how lightweight, relaxed, and moisture-wicking the four-way performance stretch is.
42:03Kate Berlant:Look, this is a Viori household. We wear these joggers all the time. It started as a classic gift from my mother. And yeah, now that they're partners, I intend to expand my wardrobe. I'm just looking at the Halo Essential Wide Leg Pant. I'm looking at, ooh, leggings. I'm a fool to have never tried these.
42:26Jacqueline Novak:I love the Villa Wide Leg Pant. So comfortable, but then also great. You can, you could even get on a plane in them. Love a Viore All The Form bra. It's comfortable, really easy to wear during a workout. And I love the Halo Baby Tee. Love it. Super soft. The classic crew neck. cap sleeves, really nice with any kind of bottoms for just a cute little active outfit. Viori is a huge part of my life, okay?
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43:45Jacqueline Novak:So what do you think? So tonight, meeting up at the Grove to see the Odyssey. 5.30.
43:51Kate Berlant:I'm trying to get it all. I'm trying to pull myself together today before leaving tomorrow. So that includes doing something outside the home, the movie. It includes this. Oh, you mean are we doing dinner? No, it's too much, right?
44:06Jacqueline Novak:You have shit to do. It's fine. We'll arrive fed. And then you know what it always is? It's after the movie. we can do we can do a little chat dismount in the um on the way to the cars yeah or we could
44:18Kate Berlant:or we could have a guacamole at the at alma you know what i mean like it's alma at the restaurants yeah those like grove restaurants that are like well trust me i was gonna say i love blue ribbon sushi oh yeah of course of course um and then start a literal god because i remembered to get my passport FedExed to me just in time to go to Canada because I left it in New York months ago.
44:43Jacqueline Novak:Oh my God.
44:44Kate Berlant:I didn't address it because a lot of people, their whole, let's say they left their passport in New York. Okay. They go to California. The whole life is about getting their passport back. Okay. Yeah. Until like me.
44:54Jacqueline Novak:And isn't it like there's a thing about mailing a passport like it's probably illegal or something. Something.
45:00Kate Berlant:Yeah.
45:00Jacqueline Novak:And I can't worry about that.
45:01Kate Berlant:of course not i've had meds who cares i've had meds like stuffed with cotton wrapped in a t-shirt
45:07Jacqueline Novak:you know sent oh yeah you gotta get it however you get it yeah like all these places like in
45:12Kate Berlant:italy in italy even in like i think it was like in ischia like this journey to get to this like little post office and they had been held at some you know border because because the thing hadn't been checked like you know pay in advance for the things it was like held up and then like finally getting them from using italians and and the glory i've done that a lot of places i remember in portland i think once like out on a highway going to a like a shipping center and like
45:42Jacqueline Novak:retrieving meds like you know the glory of like getting the meds oh but i did get a new device
45:47Kate Berlant:called the mendy here i'll show you it goes like this brain another brain device neurofeedback in this case brain training you know i've pushed the muse um over the years but i continue to have trouble with the muse with the connectivity falling out this measures something else this measures um by like shooting light through the brain it measures how blood flow in the prefrontal cortex and you like move this i mean i've been i've been like waiting for them to get get this in the hand to the consumer for like 15 years okay well speaking of the back the neurofeedback oh well
46:26Jacqueline Novak:I just wanted to say I did my pre-nouveau it's huge it was you know seamless experience I'll say that you go in gorgeous really easy yeah and also you choose what you want to watch in there so I go let's fire up the first two episodes of sex in the city so I'm in there watching sex in the city. It wasn't scary. It wasn't hard. Yeah, of course you're like getting scanned, but it's like, you're just, you know, if anyone, you're just in your little, you're just laying there.
46:57Kate Berlant:Although I will say, I don't think the detractor or the, you know, deterrent, you know what I'm saying? Is the scan itself.
47:04Jacqueline Novak:Yes. The price. Of course, although you can get $300 off with code Kate Berlant for a full body scan. Hilarious. But I have to say. Guess when I
47:18Jacqueline Novak:because of course you're going in there and you're hoping enough, you're hoping for, as they say, unremarkable results. And my results were unremarkable. Um, you know, and I was also nervous because I had friends that did it and they were like, you know, there'll be things like, don't worry. Cause you know, it's like, Oh, a little white matter here, but they're like, it's nothing. Or they're like, Oh, cyst here. But like, if you don't have X, Y, Z, something to worry about. One thing I did learn is that I have particularly dense breast tissue, which is fairly common so do i and by the way it's not like something you can feel no no it's not like you know it's like my feel it in a fist you know exactly but but that's good information to know as far as i was gonna say going forward but you're not ashkenazi right my dad is oh okay yeah it's like very very like common yeah but it's listen it's a it's a and they call you someone goes over your results i shared with my doctor and i will say and yes it's expensive it's a luxury for sure, but my God, it is the idea that, and this is what they talk about, you know, with everyone, the great fear, cancer, and you know, what we do know, early detection, it's everything.
48:28Jacqueline Novak:So the idea is, you know, you get something pre-stage one or stage one. Anyway, damn, I want that California chicken cafe wrap bad.
48:39Kate Berlant:I am gonna lay down with an ice pack and consider whether I oh maybe I'll maybe I just need to get go for a celsius you know yes I have I can have them in the home but walking to the little cafe to get the celsius can be wow you're on celsius today yeah we gotta get you off I know fruit flavors I just need a drink I just need like a drink is it because you know what else I'm on
49:05Jacqueline Novak:on the salt the element drink it's already you say i drank one last night delicious bitch the sparkling 500 milligrams of sodium which is better than 900 or a grant or a thousand which i think is
49:17Kate Berlant:what the packets have like like i they they sent truly palettes like the packages kept coming like like it was like there was a week where every day both of our homes it was overwhelming huge packages filled with you know 24 cans sparkling element but like the pineapple salt to me is like as good as drinking like a pineapple margarita yeah i really realized that i was like i need to start ordering restaurant like lime juice salt rim like that's you know what i mean like i want that flavor yeah the booze is ancillary pineapple unfortunately makes my mouth itch oh right um
49:53Jacqueline Novak:well guys this was a soft launch back into having a podcast i'm considering turning into an
50:00Kate Berlant:entertainer on the podcast. Okay. Not just. Maybe next time. Hang on. yeah, it's a real rash.
50:07Jacqueline Novak:Yeah. Yeah. But I also think the people. They're fine.
50:10Kate Berlant:I think that, you know, yeah, I think that. Evestrappers. I think they like it. It's weird that I think that. I need to go make an emergency scramble. I'm starving.
50:18Jacqueline Novak:I'll see you later. Can't wait. All right. Love you. Love you.
50:27Jacqueline Novak:That was Pooke. If you enjoyed Pooke, Please subscribe, rate and review. If not, we will press charges.
From the publisher
The nectarines were not ripe, nor were the figs sweet. Recent weeks have seen the hags confronted with uncharmable doctors and unruly hecklers. Jacqueline recounts stories from her day job at the FBI and Kate’s full-body scan results are in. Illness, the corner restaurant and a double date to The Odyssey. Sometimes the doctor agrees with your diagnosis.