Two Jackalopes

11:59Kate Berlant:stay with this before you move on to your other manic story because that just will trigger a million other things yep so let's just like stay all right um so let me just think about this for

12:07Jacqueline Novak:a second the employee bathroom by the way and the employee bathroom the intimacy in there so the most i would say and i was with you one of the most high end you know all this talk of oh the champagne room the secret lounge the ultimate to me luxury experience is the employee bathroom and an establishment when you're not supposed to be there we went to the employee bathroom inside the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland, sweetheart. Oh my God. And that was the crazy experience. Okay, because I was picturing something and I couldn't remember why. We went under, we're there in the lockers. That's the real access point.

12:40Jacqueline Novak:It's like the dingy, like a normal bathroom. Yeah. The non-customer experience, the actual getting in there. The overhead lighting.

12:47Kate Berlant:The exposed rolls, the exposed soaps. Well, I always find brands inside of another setting a surprise, okay? So like if you go and do a, I don't know, like um i don't know what it would be like i guess i guess this isn't a great example but it'd be like if you went into a target bathroom uh-huh and in there they have toilet paper that they don't sell at target it's just like kimberly clark or whatever no no no i mean like ow ow ow i mean like what am i trying to say like okay fine indiana jones jones bathroom at disneyland right you go in and it's like soft soap right yeah it's like you almost expect there to be like branded trickle down Disney soap or something.

13:28Kate Berlant:It's like, did someone just pick that up this morning? Like when, when a thing is that huge, I expect there to be almost like that, that every single Disney thing has the same like soap in it because they have a deal with. Not like this feeling like, like a choice, like a post-it note, like someone ran out and got something for that particular office that's the shock to me sim okay any franchise right if you like somehow went into like the bathroom at subway and they had whatever the fuck's open there it's the franchise feeling of like you know like franchises are really interesting to me because it's like it's like a local business yeah but they're a duncan donuts but they're a local business yeah someone said we're gonna do a duncan here yeah we're gonna pay right to be able to sell Dunkin' products, but we're just Tony and Lou from down the street.

14:19Kate Berlant:And like we run it how we run it. That's a very interesting dynamic. Like I've been in Dunkin' Donuts. Like I went to one Dunkin' Donuts that was unbelievable. It was a local coffee shop, right? I mean, it was a Dunkin', but the treatment that you saw, the people coming in, it was fucking local. I know, that happens. And it was an amazing thing to be seen. The tension between the franchise, the corporate. Yeah, yeah. And the local element. Because every franchise is, like every Subway is like someone going, I'm going to open a Subway. You and me could open a Subway sandwich shop. We should. You look gorgeous as always.

14:58Kate Berlant:Stunned by your beauty.

15:00Jacqueline Novak:I have another customer. So as you know, really interesting luxury experience at Nine Orchard, the hotel in New York City. Right.

15:07Kate Berlant:You sent me a thing. You go, this is a good hotel.

15:10Jacqueline Novak:I go, this is a very good hotel. It's a very fancy hotel. it's very very nice hotel so I was like oof and I got a text that I assume every that every guest gets that says this is a beautiful bar attached to the hotel called the Swan Room and it said like between four and five come down and like enjoy a cocktail with owner I want to get it right this

15:32Kate Berlant:this is where it's um you're going was it just me was it the what does Kate Berlant I knew it wasn't just me I knew it wasn't just me but um oh I by the way I went to check out that place and I sat in their lobby. Okay. Yeah.

15:44Jacqueline Novak:Well, the lobby is quite small, but it's the Swan room is the bar. To the right. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. Listen, welcome to Nine Orchard. Our general manager, Matt Moore, is hosting drinks tonight between five and six in the Swan room, just off the hotel lobby. Please join us. So I get that. I have plans, right? But I go, I need to swing by. Because you want to make a connection with Matt Moore. I want to make a connection with Matt Moore. So I go above and beyond. I Google Matt Moore. Of course. So I have his face locked. Smart. And a friend of mine was already staying at the hotel and we were going to get dinner.

16:16Jacqueline Novak:So she was like, I'm going to go to the Swan Room and meet a friend. So I go in. He's just kind of standing there. And I go, Matt? And he was like, yeah. And I go, Kate, loving the hotel, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And this made me, I go, I said, you know, it reminds me of my favorite hotel in Paris, Chateau Voltaire. He goes, wow, you know, we're friends with the owners. really we've actually always talked about doing something together are you serious this is where they stay yeah yeah and i go makes sense yeah well i noticed that there is an aesthetic yeah conversation happening between the two hotels yeah and then sisterly and i go well it's fantastic and then this is the most obnoxious i go i go normally i'm a bowery girl but matt yeah matt you're pulling

16:58Kate Berlant:me no no because if you can go if you can if you if you can find a way if you can find a way to name the competitor disparagingly yet believably. Well, no, I just, because you're going, it's not disparaging. What I'm saying is. No, no, I know. I know. By calling it out, there's something powerful about like, you know, I like the Bowery. Of course I do. Bowery's a home to me. Right. Ours is a home to me, but Matt. What you've done here.

17:23Jacqueline Novak:Matt, like. To be clear, I was put up, I was put up by work to be clear. So then I, so then I, and I go, I'm joining a friend for a

17:30Kate Berlant:drink but you know Kate hasn't said um she's been put up she was put up by work to be clear does that mean she's paying out of pocket a couple years now I'm doing a search of the transcripts

17:42Jacqueline Novak:I'm pretty sure did I do that recently there was something where I went like anyway but the point is yeah I go I'm joining a friend for a drink but and he and Matt's so gracious he goes well your rounds on me there we go baby and I go well I wondered if that's what was in that text please join us for a drink I go well well actually what do you think do you think that implies around on the house? Actually kind of do. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. I really don't. Sorry,

18:05Kate Berlant:Matt, but I really don't like when the thing that's free gets played off in the moment, like it's a special treat. Oh, and you knew you were getting it. It happened to me at, I just forget the Italian restaurant, you know, what's his name's Italian restaurant. You know, the guy, the guy with the great Italian restaurants. El Bucco? Yeah, I think so. There's one on the west side in New York, West Side Highway. East Village. Oh, I don't know. West Side Highway. I don't know. That's not a blue coat. I really thought it was. Whatever. I can never remember which one it was. Big Italian restaurant. Maybe Batali or whatever.

18:38Kate Berlant:Oh, uh-huh. That guy. Okay. Mario Batali. Yeah. What are his restaurants called? I don't think. Well. Maybe it's not Batali. I don't know. But it was a nice restaurant. Okay. You know the story. Go in, whole thing. Nut allergy. Yeah. You know, the guy just stands there. The career waiter, the, you know, made such a fucking big deal about how seriously they take it. Yeah. And then out comes this palate cleanser. Oh, no. And, you know, it's a fucking pistachio, a little ice cream-y thing. Boom. Instant allergy guy just stands there denying it, going campy. What? Let me go check. Fine. Meanwhile, busboy runs to CVS, king.

19:16Kate Berlant:No. Guess he gets the freaking$60 tip. Of course. Now you're going$200. It was several years ago, folks. Okay.

19:24Jacqueline Novak:60s high that is a very healthy tip in the hand of the bus boy yeah of course handled wait wait so the career that the fancy guy wouldn't acknowledge he was finally goes back and goes

19:34Kate Berlant:you know okay actually um the palate cleanser you know this week does does have a pistachio a tiny bit or whatever just a little bit just a little bit okay so that was disgusting and then are you ready comes around and says um like after like hey just because of um you know the trouble and everything we wanted to give you this little round of you know petty fours or whatever okay and that has us too no no but probably okay they had already been promised earlier and we saw them going around to literally everyone and they were trying to pass it off like that was a special meal should have been free well probably exactly oh i actually had some i sent back something

20:13Jacqueline Novak:jacklyn listen to this the courage so my gracias madre yeah i just realized it was mother's day madre mother's day that's beautiful kate with your mother by the way with my mother and my partner okay and listen to this so i was ahead of time i reserved my special table by the fireplace i go hi we get the right table well it's our table it's so they poisoned it so so and i go back and forth with the restaurant yes we'll hold it because i don't hold tables normally i get there most people probably don't want it there are people already there but they're finishing up they're on dessert the point there's this is not part of the story the point is that we were too hungry i go it's fine we'll just go to another table totally fine here's what happens great server the the ceviche dish that i love which is the hearts of palm you know vegan avocado thing arrives i've had it several times yeah when it was at this range i go something's wrong because normally there's a little gem like as it was being lowered oh it was being lowered here i knew it was wrong yeah so because normally there's big poetic yeah little gems to scoop none of them were more than this high one of them was bent broken there were maybe three of them and then and i go that's weird and then i look in it's not a usual the portion is usually pretty substantial it was i would say almost half that size and the little gems the spoon had been it looked it landed and i went it looked i'm not kidding like two to three bites have been taken out of it meaning it was like destroyed you know it's usually like a mound yeah it was destroyed and i went and i genuinely thought it was it looked like so shitty i genuinely thought there had been an accident and somebody had cleared it from another table and put it down on ours that's how bad it looked and you know everyone's like oh it's probably fine and i was like something's not right and by the way yeah i had one milligram of thc and i go someone ate my food you know i start but but the point is and i I said to the guy, I go, I never do that.

22:06Jacqueline Novak:No, no. Okay. But I was like, I'm doing it. Yeah. Cause this is unacceptable. No, but also just cause I knew the dish and I said, you know, I go, I've gotten this a lot of times. Does this look to you like a little often? He goes, it does look smaller than normal. I go, yeah. And the leaves, the leaves, sweetie. And, and I said, it kind of almost looks like somebody got into it. And he said, Oh, I'm sure. No, like, and I go looks like two to three boys have been taken out of it sweetheart and he was like totally you know I'll get you a freshie and I and then I literally start I go sorry this is me on one milligram of THC literally telling him I'm high yeah right and he and we actually had a great back and forth fabulous and he goes somebody else a woman from the front returns and I feel in her I'm like does she hate me is there something because it kind of like is this cheer liking

22:56Kate Berlant:kind of like is this cheer liking has come out for you yeah and by the way and i was like great

23:00Jacqueline Novak:the little gem was still an issue the little gem was still an issue if they're out we're small they're they're they're out of little gem for the night so because because some of the little gems were and you know when it's the heart you know when it's the heart with a couple white yeah down to the white so it was a little that and i go we can't scoop with that i go they're having trouble it's fine the meal was great excellent delicious um how would you say you know what um we're out

23:21Kate Berlant:of the little gem would would you be down to be served with some of our fresh delicious great great exactly own up folks own up they're a little cry they were out of a couple items didn't bother me my mom wanted plantains they didn't have them wow but um my mom during the

23:40Jacqueline Novak:meal and this is i know i've said this on the podcast my wonderful mother but she can't help it i would say nine out of every 10 meals i have with her but it might be 10 out of 10 she makes a comment on how fast i'm eating right right right or it's more that she obviously still believes

23:56Kate Berlant:that the comments can change you on some level and if i don't stop this for her so so here's the

24:01Jacqueline Novak:thing for her it's actually more about and this i respect she wants to luxuriate in the meal i relate to this she feels we're rushing through like she and i also when they start clearing the plates too soon hell and by the way and this is really rude and this is my mother is still she's halfway through her meal i'm of course done my partner's done they clear our plates my mother's left alone with hers i actually said keep mine i go i'm still working yeah even if it's naked

24:25Kate Berlant:the mother's not eating alone on mother's day no it's really rude no and no one wants no food no

24:30Jacqueline Novak:food whatever it destroys the it destroys the atmosphere anyway so but she without fail and and the way she says it is well i'm starting to slow down she goes well i'm slowing down of course and i go well i'm not yeah yeah and i even last night felt a little and i go and i go i go we fast we will not be shame treating yeah yeah and then i naomi really laughed because i I was like, Jacqueline has an amazing, or Jacqueline's thing that she says about eating fast is, that's how I like to do it. And we were dying. I like what this is. Because it's true. It's like, that's what I like to do. Oh, right.

25:02Jacqueline Novak:I like to eat too fast. I like to swallow the air. I like to eat fast. I don't want to. It's not like, that's how I like it. Yeah. It'd be like if you liked a jackhammer.

25:12Kate Berlant:Yeah. And it was like, slow down and enjoy it. I am enjoying it. I'm getting more thrusts. Exactly. Jackhammer is hysterical. It's like, yeah, yeah. They're like. As a term. Or is it jackrabbit? I think it's both. Yeah. That's so funny. A little jackrabbit. No, that's how I like it. The last time he's dropping a short cock. Okay. This time it's like a little jackrabbit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's like, I'm bringing you the jackhammer. Okay. Yeah. So he's a little jackrabbit who utilizes the language of the jackhammer tool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not knowing that he himself is the primary example. I'm not just your average jackrabbit.

25:46Kate Berlant:I'm a jackhammer jackrabbit.

25:49Jacqueline Novak:Wait, do you know that? Little pervert. Wait, I was once an early date with my lover and on the, we were in London and there were on the, on the, the walls of this pub, there were, you know how it's like antlers, you know, like things. And they had these little ones, like kind of weird ones. And I went, oh, are those, is that jackalope? And I was like, I think those are jackalope lanterns. That's a mythical creature that's not real.

26:16Kate Berlant:okay i had a moment because i go because you know you know you know reindeer are real crazily enough okay yeah okay hold on you go what are those i go no i was like jackalope i think it's a mythical rabbit let me look i'll just take a second is it a rabbit that moves like a i was

26:32Jacqueline Novak:gonna say a cantaloupe jackalope is a mythical creature from north american folklore described as a jack rabbit with antelope like horns known for being elusive wait so are they real no fake mouth it said mythical it said mythical oh it'd be so cool if they were real look a jackalope um identification different kinds oh my god they're fabulous i have i must have something

26:58Kate Berlant:going on and bouncing along there's something i must have see i didn't know that that's what a jackalope even was i think when i heard i relate a lot to this i saw i relate a lot to this of course so do i as a woman in comedy okay to be a small rabbit with horns I mean you look exactly like that can the camera see that look find one on there that's me first

27:18Jacqueline Novak:okay wait let me see the chart wait no I have yours I have yours don't tell me what it is okay let me pick yours let me pick yours and then let me look and see if I guess which one you think I am I think you are oh it's actually a little hard spiritual I mean I'm down to two all right but I have which one I think is is you okay hold on my gender is jackalope bitch exactly okay okay and you didn't let the names influence right no i didn't even look at the names it was a pure visual for me and almost did you catch it from afar do you want to know which i want to know which one you relate to which one you think i picked for you yeah i mean is it i don't have

28:00Kate Berlant:tattoos that's the one i chose for you okay i knew it and i also guess what the answer was the same yeah for both of the questions you had for me folks i and i stand by mine it's as simple as

28:12Jacqueline Novak:it is this is a greater jackalope yeah and you look how dirty my screen is and you and mine is mine it's exactly like me and don't you think mine is my mind's that's the mean one i didn't even look at the others really yeah let me look at the others now let me play the game again okay

28:25Kate Berlant:oh shit okay wait i mean it's interesting because the one that was you know we locked in on for you it's it's in some ways it's it's not too demure no it's a little like it landed as you okay like and in this one sense but there's another sense in which it's like not it's like you know you can play this game and get into a few different spots pick another one imagine that we hadn't

28:49Jacqueline Novak:already pre-decided where's kate where's kate kate kate kate i can't believe my name's kate do you ever have that where you abstract your name kate okay let me see and i by the way like

29:02Kate Berlant:i checked against the original but i i discarded the original kind of anyway i really just go if right now I was going, this is different. This is less like, which are you? And more like, right now you tell me Kate is inside one of those. Where is she? I have to choose which one's my friend to take away. Is it that one? Wait, wait, pull it back. Let me see. Wait, wait, let me check. I won't know until I could, because it's between two.

29:24Jacqueline Novak:It's between that one. I was going to say I'm this one or I'm that one.

29:27Kate Berlant:Okay. So I had actually ultimately landed on a different one. Was it this one? The curl? No, no, no, no. The curl was, okay which one it's shocking the long one no oh

29:41Jacqueline Novak:okay okay I was like where's my friend really let me see again like a little nervous like

29:47Kate Berlant:you know like like not but like a real just like you're in there like oh this is fabulous I'm saving it which jackalope are you we got to figure out who made that jackalope chart coming

30:03Kate Berlant:um um it's fun every once in a while i like to play my mother i've talked about this on the episode on poog but me and my mother can play this game like we once played it in a group with other people and it was like you know you think of a person that everyone in the group knows okay sometimes you're a celebrity or not i forget you know or just people know whatever and then you start going if they were a soap what soap would they be

30:28Jacqueline Novak:oh yeah okay answer answer that's fun me and my mother would get it in well i told you in two did i say my mom confirmed i was born on a thursday no you told it to me live and i knew i knew

30:41Kate Berlant:thursday was right because you are thursday yeah that's exactly oh then we were joking about me like me thinking i was a sunday or something do you know what day i vaguely have a tuesday sense but i have to check with my mother check what day was i born send

31:04Jacqueline Novak:As you know, here on the pod, we are obsessed with our health and how to better understand our bodies.

31:11Kate Berlant:I've been paying a lot more attention to, well, how my body recovers after a workout because recovery fuels the next workout. Am I right? What surprised me is that how much of how you feel during training, it starts in the blood with biomarkers that a lot of people don't even think about. Things like magnesium, your iron, hormone levels, markers that often affect how you feel in each workout.

31:35Jacqueline Novak:And, you know, we all notice shifts in our energy and our mood throughout the month. And I've been very curious about how to better understand these shifts. And here's the thing. Hormonal health is often overlooked in medicine. And these markers affect more than just your cycle. They can shape your energy, your mood, strength, how you're feeling every day, estrogen, testosterone, fertility indicators, proteins that control your hormones. All of this is part of a much bigger picture. And that's why I love Function, 160 lab tests a year. And you can actually see where your hormones stand. You don't have to wait until something feels off to start asking those questions to your doctor.

32:17Kate Berlant:It's about what's happening in the blood. And that's why the blood work calls to me. I want to know about the magnesium, the iron, the hormone levels. When those factors are dialed in, oh, you get the results you're looking for. You're feeling good when you're working out. That's why I use function. 160 plus lab tests a year. So I can see exactly what's going on, not guess at it. Something's working against my training. I want to know. That's what actually taking care of your performance looks like. I'm pretty excited to get my blood work and send it to function. let them work up a dense document take me through it and get into the details and it really feels

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33:25Jacqueline Novak:electrolytes are key salt is life element is salt but it's also delicious addictively so lemonade probably my favorite flavor watermelon raspberry i don't want to brag but i was hung over today and guess what i actually hear it in my voice the gravel i did a pink lemonade element was fabulous. Now they're doing Element Lemonade Ice Tea.

33:53Kate Berlant:Lemonade Ice Tea delivers Element's science-backed electrolyte formulation, plus naturally occurring caffeine, 50 milligrams, L-theanine, and polyphenols for a powerful blend of antioxidants. What are we talking about? Well, it's a formula they've designed to support a healthy lifestyle without hammering those adrenals are just destroying sleep. Unbelievable.

34:18Jacqueline Novak:Caffeine being added to Element. I stopped in my tracks. Kate, you realize that caffeine doesn't actually give you energy, right? I love caffeine, but as you know, you got to be careful with the way you're ingesting caffeine.

34:32Kate Berlant:No, it just blocks the receptors that make you feel tired. That's a painful truth and one that, well, I guess Element is interested in helping us navigate.

34:43Jacqueline Novak:The combination of the hydration with the electrolytes and element with the caffeine stabilizes you and it can fit into your day in an easy way versus your usual ways that you go about getting coffee or procuring caffeine.

34:58Kate Berlant:Look, I drink element because it all started with all the sweating and noticing that I felt better when I had an electrolyte drink during a deep workout or a sauna session.

35:09Jacqueline Novak:Isolated caffeine, the kind that's in a lot of energy drinks, hits harder and drops faster because there is just nothing there to smooth the curve. Tea, however, works differently. The caffeine comes bundled with L-theanine and polyphenols. And the way that it exists like that naturally in the world is the point. That's what gives you a noticeably steadier feeling. There's less of a spike and less of a drop.

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36:26Kate Berlant:I want to know a little more because Erwan is a big part of the show. New York is where we are half the time slash, you know, core home and for me, whatever. You're telling me like, this is a place and a space to really break it down before I've ever been. Okay. To get your full experience of the place. Yeah. And then when I go, I can reply. Prepared foods. There's a branding. What's like Air One and what's not like Air One in it? Okay. How's the lighting? They're different. Just overhead hell? Classic? Where is it in New York City? Like Canal, lower Manhattan. Okay. That's exactly where I pictured it.

37:10Kate Berlant:Did it take over the old Dean and DeLuca? Look at my face. How dare I?

37:15Jacqueline Novak:That's how I feel that Dean and DeLuca's gone. Wait, is it gone? Maybe on spring. Of course, in Soho. Right. Yeah, which signaled the end of civilization. The end of civilization.

37:26Kate Berlant:I mean, Dean and DeLuca, it was sort of like... Look how angry I am. It was kind of a joke in the sense of, you know, the prices and the whole thing. You know what I'm talking about. I mean, it was like...

37:38Jacqueline Novak:Oh, no, it was a cultural... It was a reference point. Felicity worked at Dean and DeLuca.

37:43Kate Berlant:I had my wallet stolen at Dean and DeLuca. Really? Okay. It was the Dean and DeLuca... I need a Dean and DeLuca shirt now. I need a hat. Okay. Well, it'll be poog-ified. it'll be Dean Angeluca stolen you know I could actually cry for Dean Angeluca I don't think you're hearing me my wallet was stolen and then they ran down the street okay okay but you were in the store in Georgetown they had a Dean Angeluca oh okay when I was in college I know

38:11Jacqueline Novak:whoa I'm waking up from a fantasy I thought Dean Angeluca was just New York

38:15Kate Berlant:the brand okay and uh I want to know and then you don't believe no no I believe you I'm just I want to know where other DNA locos are. Waiting a lot of the tote, you know, my tote bag, wallet, you know. And I guess, was it my wallet physically stolen? Or was it a phone situation? No, it was a wallet. I think it was a true wallet. And they ran down. I think they spent a bunch at Victoria's Secret. They went to a bunch of stores immediately. One of those got the goods. Have fun. You can just report that. Yeah. You know, I did that once.

38:48Jacqueline Novak:You mean with your own card? I found a card. I tell you this this is this is a really bad story no listen listen I'll tell exactly what happened I was in a New York City cab I was 21 years old probably drunk okay I found a card in the back of a cab and it was a business card that's what I noticed I didn't it wasn't a name it was like something something ink and I go we're having fun sweetie right I went to a bodega I went to a bodega I bought tampons I bought duvet beer you know like the Belgian fancy big bottles I bought packs of cigarettes no what a freak I bought packs of Marlboro Reds beer yeah I wonder what the business was I don't know and I go they'll report this no individual is gonna have to incur these fees and then what'd you do with the card I think I just like threw it away or something you

39:41Kate Berlant:about like you find a license you can drop it in a in a find its way home any post that's amazing i don't know if that's true but it's so appealing it's amazing that letters i sent two letters

39:52Jacqueline Novak:recently yeah they arrived their destination i can't believe that shit like how the fuck a piece of paper like this the manpower and me writing what about to me piece of paper this thing Yeah. Sorting. By the human hands.

40:07Kate Berlant:I mean, Laura and I used to send letters.

40:08Jacqueline Novak:And others. To and from France. I found, no, the postcards. I recently. The postcards. My friend found a postcard that I sent him when I was in Paris, when I was like 18 years old. And what's so cute is I'm like, I'm at first high. It's beautiful. I just found, this is where I'm like, God, we just are the same forever. And I go, I just saw that there's been a lawsuit filed against Pinkberry because the addictive, because of the chemicals in Pinkberry. Are you too addictive? In my postcard from Paris. I can't believe that news made it to Paris.

40:35Kate Berlant:I'm surprised. Do you remember Pinkberry? The other, like, that it was like, you know, such a big deal in Los Angeles that people just accepted that they were going to get a$60 parking ticket in order to get to Pinkberry. Oh, I kind of remember that. So they'd drive, just stop, like, park wherever the fuck.

40:49Jacqueline Novak:Well, a boy I had a crush on when I was 16 worked at the original Pinkberry. Oh. And that's a Hollywood baby. The same one that worked at American Rag? Different one, but same community.

40:58Kate Berlant:And then, what's the other one? And there was also in, what's the one in New York City? It was very ice crystal-y. Tasty Delight? Yes. Remember when they went? The Sex and the City popularized. Right, right, right, right. Charlotte gets Pinkberry every night. Charlotte gets Tasty Delight every night. And the Crunchies and the, but there was something, there's something went down with it. Tasty Delight's just gone, right? I think so. Something about it, it went. Because it was like too toxic or something? Because it was, I think was the, all right, because it's Tasty D, light, L-I-T-E. L-I-T-E.

41:33Kate Berlant:Which is so, you have to laugh, like, because that's like what, like, like 90s or something, right? I know. And you, L-I-T-E. I'm laughing, I'm telling you something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like, it's like, is it the 1960s? Rite Aid, R-I-T-E.

41:46Jacqueline Novak:Right? Rite Aid, R-I-T-E. I remember my teacher in the fourth grade, she was like, they should call it wrong aid. And she was a lesbian. Because she thought she was against it? It was just very, yeah, she was like, it should be called wrong aid. I was like something about you. Yeah. But I, so Froyo, and there's been written, there's writings about this. The Froyo craze in New York City right now is really. Current? It's back? Oh, Jacqueline. So I went to dinner with a friend.

42:11Kate Berlant:I mean, you remember like back in the day. No, no, no. Because the market exploded. Jacqueline, if we wanted to get rich fast.

42:18Jacqueline Novak:Listen to this. Okay, I'm listening. My friend and I, after dinner, we had a disappointing meal, which is really hard. Oh, I'm saved by Froyo. So listen to this. So we leave the dinner and I've been talking up. You're going to love it. You're going to love it. It's fantastic. And I've had amazing, one of my favorite restaurants, I went there, dud meal. In New York? Yeah. Wow. What point of the meal did you admit that it was a dud? So I'd say the first dish dropped and I went, this one's not great, but it's fine. Yeah. Second dish wasn't great. I go, hell, hell, hell, hell. Waters are rising, the sea levels.

42:48Jacqueline Novak:Yeah. And I started to get, and I started, and the whole meal was not good. And then guess what? dessert was bad no we order dessert to save it yeah when you keep trying to save it listen

43:01Kate Berlant:you said I eat dessert I then you go how about a port wine if I order a dessert got anything else

43:06Jacqueline Novak:we start over and do appetizers again I've never taken one bite of a dessert in my life and meaning I always eat the whole like like I literally go by and I go clipped out clipped out I've never taken a bite of dessert oh yeah yeah no I so and we both were able to acknowledge like fuck imagine the first person said a moment on the lips like a moment

43:30Kate Berlant:a lifetime on the hips yeah imagine like someone coming up with that yeah it's like so wild those

43:36Jacqueline Novak:things that poison a spell sent into the hearts of the nation a spell exactly evil spell so we go and we're laughing we go fro-yo great yeah so we go to we walk by there's a fro-yo place i'm gonna get the names mixed up everyone whatever it's like soho area but a really long line no oh okay

43:55Kate Berlant:no because like chris and i are fundamentally obsessed with rice to riches oh of course no

44:00Jacqueline Novak:it's an insane well it's classically a drug front or something but it's an insane business go on first for your place line is like half like like wrapped around we go well that's fucking crazy we're not doing that we walk to a second location also online of the same okay so i'm looking up different Froyo spots. And I have a friend in New York who loves Froyo. She's like, here are my top spots. My friend goes, you know what? I'm going to get us a car. Let's take a car to the Froyo place. It's going to be a 10 minute drive. Take the car, get there even longer. And I have this on video and I will post it for subscribers.

44:34Jacqueline Novak:Long line. We're like laughing. This is fucking crazy. It's time to get in line and stop looking for a shorter line. We go to another one thinking - Now you've spent an hour. We ended up spending in total two hours. Did you ever get on line? So listen, listen, we go to two more and then we go, well, Pinkberry, I physically called a Pinkberry chain. Yeah. And the phone rings, the guy picks up, hello. I go, hi. What's the wait time? By the way, it's 9 p.m. Yeah. Which I think is kind of late for four places to be this. And this is why New York, you know, the culture is, but it is incredible. And I go, hi, are you really crowded?

45:09Jacqueline Novak:And he goes, oh, he goes, we're crazy packed. Oh, thank God. I go, thank you. And then we get back in the cab. We go back. we end up going back to the original place and we get in line that's hysterical so and by then so we go you know what so all i'm not kidding we went to i think five other places so fun work up and then it was just fun because it was just screaming laughing so listen so it ends in an amazing way so we end up back at i think it's mimi's in in soho long line and it's one of those things where you get at the end you go you're talking talking single and then you look behind And the line is so long.

45:45Jacqueline Novak:Best. And I go, look how long it goes. And then she was like, no, no, no, we were at the end. The line was that long. Like, like it really. So behind us is a date and it's like young. They're probably like 21. Yeah. And it's like, she's in her like date. And he's like, he's like, yeah, I, uh, he's talking about like rare foods he's eaten. He's like, yeah, I eat snake tongue or whatever. He's like, and they're talking about it. Was she loving it? And she's like, she's like, and she's like, do you? And he's like, I like to cook. If I have some guys over, he's like, and she's like, what do you cook when you have your friends over?

46:19Jacqueline Novak:He's like, probably swimming high protein.

46:21Kate Berlant:No. Yeah. I was like amazed.

46:27Jacqueline Novak:Amazed. High protein. And anyway, so, so we get through, by the way, whatever. It was really, it was like. What did you get? And I saw people walking by and it's usually me kind of scoffing. Look at these fucking jack offs. Jack offs. With what? In the line. like when you walk by people waiting in a long line for something oh yeah of course of course yeah of course and i was like so we're in the line then i start to panic because i look in it's self-serve toppings and i go i can't have a topping well because they're mixing them up disgusting no so it's a trough with 70 000 people every five minutes touching the spoons yeah yeah what do i want my issue okay panting panting over naked for you it's a laugh and a half barfing into the cashew okay going like yeah dragging it over no of course but i'm like spoons i go and then i'm going you guys are crazy use the pink gray model have the people that are working there do it it's going to be so much faster more efficient sanitary i don't want to touch the spoon that everyone's goddamn uncle has been like i have a different model imagine I said the spoon's warm because there's so many hands touching.

47:35Jacqueline Novak:So I said, I can't have toppings and that's okay. And also it's self crank. I go, this is a fucking Petri dish. You didn't even bring this up.

47:46Kate Berlant:Self crank. I didn't realize it until I got closer to the window. Self crank. So was it a, because wait, there was a business that. It was like six of them. Called like just. 16 handles. Just, there was one that opened on the Upper West Side briefly that was like self handle crank and toppings. There's a bunch of the self crank. we're like yeah we're like hot for because like it opened up that's what people like and then you

48:05Jacqueline Novak:can like weigh it yourself or whatever i'm like so yeah i have a few different thoughts about that i don't like that i want them to do it for me i don't want everyone in there i think there's a third way a better way that i would design okay now i don't have all the answers yet what's that it's like oh no no i know what that is but i mean it's like korean barbecue i thought

48:23Kate Berlant:that's like fun there's no like like you see what i'm saying well totally totally no no so so first of all, I actually don't like having to choose a complete spectrum of an amount, right? So like more or less, more, right? I'd rather decide on a small, a medium, a large. Yeah, right. Exactly the same. And eight outs, whatever. That like, okay, yeah, that's what I want. Now the toppings question. I don't, I also don't love, well, there's a few issues. I don't love them doing the topping because first of all, a lot of times I'm watching the cross-contamination happen in their hands yeah of course also don't love fundamentally remembering an amazing soft serve them a shout out after this i don't i don't i fundamentally don't appreciate a small plastic spoon just like a spoon or any spoon okay but for sprinkles that's not gonna be enough yeah so actually the only true way yeah i once i went to a basket basket robbins okay and ordered this got sprinkles okay and they a little little like plastic spoon like you'd get no okay and then they they go like that and some hit and some fly off okay so the only true way to do sprinkles and yes i know where we're headed is cut okay now what does that mean okay what does that mean you get excited right for cross-contamination it can't be in the group bin and i know that's how they do it they do it that way i almost don't mind like out of fro-yo truck because they only have so few things.

49:48Kate Berlant:So it's like fresh ice cream has touched the thing. But I'm like, if that means that a trough has to pour into a fresh bowl, fresh, huge amount of sprinkles, okay. And then it's dipped and then those are tossed in the trash. Those are tossed to the lions. Okay. That, I don't know. There's, there's a model here. There's a way it can be worked out then sterilized. Okay. They're reboiled. They're, they're created. There could be a system. They can purify fucking water made of shit they can do it okay so so it needs to be a full dunk and a full that that texture when it is truly covered in sprinkles oh when it's the surface of the

50:24Jacqueline Novak:the chalky little sprinkles uh okay what's the one you want to shout out for you and by the way what flavor did you get listen listen i'm not done so i'm preparing i go i can't believe i've waited for 16 hours yeah for a fucking petri dish and then i'm really grossed out i'm like seeing i just like i can't do it no but i go in i grab a napkin i grab a paper towel to hold the crank okay i do dignity i do a paper towel crank i don't get any of the toppings because i'm just like yeah i can't do it and i say to my friend because she got the caps i go you know i'm gonna get the froyos on you know they weigh them out we leave we walk out we're like ha ha ha woman from the place comes running after me you forgot your fro-yo with my fro-yo I had left it I had for two hours tried to get fro-yo the whole thing bought it thank you and just walked out I've walked out

51:20Kate Berlant:I've walked out before doing a big like like we had a great like walked out and then missed your sandwich I've done it too yeah yeah so it was like the whole thing you're like thank you Bye bye. It's like the spectacle of a transaction is done. Clearly the Froyo was the last thing on mine.

51:36Jacqueline Novak:What flavor did you get? Oh, I think I got, because I like the pink berry, I got like tart, whatever their tart thing was. And then I think it was like a chocolate thing or something.

51:45Kate Berlant:Well, you know what I had by the tar pits near Wilshire. New subway stop is open, by the way. Huge deal in the community. Jacqueline took the subway to the Muna show at the shrine. Fucking incredible. Take a subway to a concert. Fucking amazing. spot some people, go, they look like Muna fans. Maybe they know where we're headed. So cozy. Concert, like concert goers on the subway. Community. It's classic. So, by the way, I saw, I think it would make me weep. It was Marathoner on one side, London Marathon. Oh, yeah, you saw this to me. Oh, right. I did a screen recording because you were off Instagram.

52:19Kate Berlant:Anyway, so point is, what am I trying to say? Froyo. Oh, we just discovered. Vegan. It's called like no-yo or something. Okay. Right there. He's been there the whole fucking time. Near you? Yeah. Vegan Froyo guy. He's like, it's all made of fruit. It's all made of fruit. You know, like coconut is like what's being creamy or something like that. And we're like, oh my God, it was fucking delicious. You threw mango on top of it. Tiny little stand. So excited going, you know, is this my new life? We walk over here and get this. So fun. But I would like to talk about, because you said if we want to be rich, imagine Pugyo.

52:55Kate Berlant:Pugyo. Pugyo. Pugyo is you.

52:57Jacqueline Novak:yo fro i want to make sure no i don't know how to frozen poog we go long name frozen poog poog guys wait i can't find the name guys it's it's hikido it'll have to happen during it's hikido in echo park it's special milk that they they bring in from listen to me japan literally i had this fro-yo there blew my blew everything away and the freshest mochi i've ever had mochi like this in my life. Blew everything away by your tongue and your lips. You get mochi. Three balls. They just give you three little balls. It's perfect mochi. Astonishing. Anyway, it was fabulous.

53:37Kate Berlant:Yeah, that's hard though. Three little mochi like and then I go, these really put me in the mood to have a bag of mochi. I know, I know. It's the classic. I have to pee. Product Corner though. Okay. Okay, well thank you. Anyway, thank you for your feeders.

53:49Jacqueline Novak:And if you're a subscriber, then we'll see you at Product Corner. Love you. Love you. That was POOG. If you enjoyed POOG, please subscribe, rate, and review. If not, we will press charges.