Learn How to Stop Proving Yourself with Top Chef's Kristen Kish

18 Jun 2026 · 56 min · 31 chapters

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In short

Kristen Kish discusses loneliness vs belonging, how kitchens helped her build confidence and social ease, and how her adopted Korean identity shaped her curiosity and food inspiration. She also reflects on career choices, “flow state,” and her evolution from Top Chef contestant/winner to host.

Guest background

Kristen Kish is a Korean adoptee raised in Michigan, a James Beard Award–winning chef, and the host of Top Chef (hosting multiple seasons). She previously struggled with social anxiety and feeling like she wasn’t good at anything until cooking/kitchens gave her confidence. She wrote the memoir Accidentally on Purpose.

Key claims

Belonging can be personal and professional even if cultural belonging still feels “undetermined.” Emotional reactions can be subconscious, so mistakes happen when money or emotion overrides integrity. Kitchens can function as “safe spaces” that heal and protect.

Notable examples

A toaster “grilled cheese” in Top Chef’s castle kitchen that smoked and was unplugged; her childhood soy sauce chocolate pudding experiment; her “Hamburger Helper”-inspired comfort dish (reimagined in-house, no beef); in Korea, pressure to feel emotion failed until a stamp-shop stranger told her “you belong here.”

Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.

Chapters

Tap a time to open that second in VO

Exploring Loneliness and Connection

0:45 to 1:21

Danielle discusses her personal journey with loneliness and connection.

“Try the new tropical butterfly refresher from Starbucks.”

Exploring Loneliness and Connection

3:12 to 6:44

Danielle discusses her personal journey with loneliness and connection.

“But when we ask the right questions, we get a little closer.”

Kristen Kish's Journey

6:44 to 10:55

Interview with Kristen Kish about her feelings of belonging and success.

“Well, I can't give away all the good stuff.”

Food as a Love Language

10:55 to 14:00

Kristen shares how cooking became a way to connect with others.

“I'd recognized a few faces, but I had never watched religiously their shows that they come from.”

The Journey of Culinary Learning

14:00 to 18:08

Kristen discusses her learning process in cooking through observation and experience.

“But what I did know how to do was make something look like something else.”

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18:18 to 18:47

Boost Mobile offers a flexible wireless plan with details on their services.

“Online nationally or check out their 20 campuses across six states.”

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20:43 to 21:36

Boost Mobile offers a flexible wireless plan with details on their services.

“Same-day delivery for most internet-eligible customers.”

Building a Culinary Career

21:36 to 26:12

Kristen reflects on her journey and the evolution of her career in cooking.

“Because there are so many different stages of life.”

Finding Comfort in Cooking

26:12 to 28:00

Kristen shares her connection to comfort food and how it influences her cooking.

“I grew up in the Midwest where casseroles and box foods.”

Finding Confidence in the Kitchen

28:00 to 28:30

Kristen discusses how working in kitchens helped her gain confidence.

“And so it was for me a place where I felt confident.”
Show all 31 chapters

Transition from Contestant to Host on Top Chef

28:30 to 29:33

Kristen reflects on her journey from a contestant to the host of Top Chef.

“Honestly, the biggest thing I got out of kitchens, good and bad, was finding my confidence, knowing that I was good at something because for so long, I didn't think I was good at anything.”

Recognition and Self-Perception

29:33 to 30:44

Kristen shares insights on how others see her potential before she does.

“have on why food excites me and how it has been.”

The Realities of Comfort in Attire

30:44 to 31:54

A lighthearted discussion about comfort and attire on set.

“Have you found a classy way to wear sweatpants on set?”

Eating Habits While Filming Top Chef

31:54 to 33:02

Kristen talks about the reality of eating during Top Chef filming.

“They're always unbuttoned if they can be unbuttoned.”

Emmy Nominations and Personal Growth

33:02 to 34:36

Kristen discusses her Emmy nominations and her evolving comfort with recognition.

“Gail Simmons is famous for saying we are human beings.”

Cultural Impact of Top Chef

34:36 to 35:38

Exploring Top Chef's influence on female chefs and diverse cuisines.

“that goes from TV, reality, television, entertainment into all of our lives in some form.”

Cultural Impact of Top Chef

36:25 to 36:52

Exploring Top Chef's influence on female chefs and diverse cuisines.

“When it comes to advancing your education, you have more options than you think.”

Cultural Impact of Top Chef

37:18 to 38:02

Exploring Top Chef's influence on female chefs and diverse cuisines.

“the Ferrari superfans in the digital age.”

Cultural Impact of Top Chef

38:06 to 39:37

Exploring Top Chef's influence on female chefs and diverse cuisines.

“I'm trying to run as fast as T-Mobile 5G home internet, Zach.”

Lessons from Various Hosting Experiences

39:37 to 41:15

Kristen reflects on her diverse hosting experiences and their impact.

“So you've hosted across Fast Foodies, Iron Chef, Restaurants at the End of the World, and now, of course, Top Chef.”

Embracing Aging and Personal Growth

41:15 to 42:00

Discussion on the positive aspects of aging and self-discovery.

“You're only able to see it in hindsight.”

Exploring Identity and Belonging

42:00 to 52:10

Kristen Kish discusses her journey of self-discovery and cultural belonging as an adoptee.

“And there's something so freeing about understanding who you are and what you want and what matters.”

Exploring Identity and Belonging

53:36 to 53:49

Kristen Kish discusses her journey of self-discovery and cultural belonging as an adoptee.

“are being able to create a deeper connection with our fans.”

The Mystery of Her Story

54:40 to 56:00

Discussing the complexities of adoption and the unresolved mysteries in Kish's life.

“Same day delivery for most internet eligible customers.”

The Complexity of Transracial Adoption

56:00 to 57:42

Exploring the nuances and uncertainties surrounding adoption stories.

“And I think that is, I don't know, it's like this open-ended book over here that just gets to live on and on and on.”

Finding Meaning in Life

57:42 to 58:21

Discussing the importance of enjoying life without needing to solve every problem.

“The existential question of what is the meaning or purpose of life gets thrown around, especially on podcasts, I think a lot.”

The Unexpected Love Story

58:21 to 1:00:50

Kristen shares the journey of her relationship with her wife, Bianca.

“So a lot of my relationships before meeting my wife, Bianca, were always founded and rooted in passion and lust.”

Evolving in Love

1:00:50 to 1:03:22

How being in love with Bianca has changed Kristen emotionally and personally.

“It was a really confident box to stand on to want to go into the next stage.”

Gratitude for Authenticity

1:03:22 to 1:05:13

Kristen reflects on the gratitude of living an authentic life and the struggles in achieving it.

“I saw you well up a little bit when you were talking about her.”

Cultural Representation

1:05:13 to 1:06:11

Discussing the lack of representation in literature and media during Kristen's upbringing.

“But I think when you channel it and you push it into gratitude and love and opportunity and possibility, it just fuels it even more.”

Rapid Fire Questions

1:06:11 to 1:09:50

A light-hearted session where Kristen answers fun and quirky questions.

“I know you said rapid fire, but I take these very seriously.”
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Transcript

Automatic transcript. May contain errors.

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3:11No one has all the answers. But when we ask the right questions, we get a little closer. Closer to truths. Closer to each other. Even closer to ourselves. I'm journalist Danielle Robay, and each week my guests and I come together to challenge the status quo and our own ways of thinking by daring to ask, What if? Why not? And who says? So come curious, dig deep, and join the conversation. It's time to question everything. About seven years ago, I was sitting on a balcony with my dad. We were in Miami and my mom and my brother had gone to bed. I remember feeling nervous to ask him something because as close as we are, we don't really traffic in feelings all the time.

4:02And I said, Dad, did you feel lonely when you were growing up? I was kind of hoping he would say yes because I'm so much like him and then he could make sense of this feeling that I had. and he sat for a minute and puffed his cigar and he said no I was alone a lot but I didn't feel lonely I asked because there was this loneliness in me that never quite went away it followed me no matter who I was with in relationship with my family my friends it wasn't loud but it was always with me it was almost like people could know me but they didn't know the whole me and that felt lonely. And then a few years ago, it just disappeared.

4:45Poof. I woke up one day and I didn't have it anymore. And I haven't fully unpacked why. I know I will. And when I come to a conclusion, I'll share it with you guys. But if I had to sort of pontificate right now in present time, I think it has something to do with finally coming home to myself. It's finding a sense of belonging that wasn't dependent on another person or a city or a job or hoping that someone could see me, the real me, because I saw myself. What I do think is interesting is that I've built an entire career around the opposite of loneliness, connection. And that is why Kristen Kish, our guest today, fascinates me.

5:26Because when I read her memoir accidentally on purpose and I sat with her story, I realized that we might be asking the same question from different directions. Now we all know Kristen as the impeccably dressed, effortlessly cool host of Top Chef. But before she was hosting Top Chef, she was a winner. She was a James Beard Award winner. And if we go back a little further, Kristen was adopted from Korea as an infant and raised in Michigan. And growing up, she often felt different from the people around her. And she talks about struggling with social anxiety pretty badly. For a long time, she wasn't sure she was particularly good at anything.

6:06And then Kristen found kitchens. Or kitchens found her, I'm not quite sure which. Honestly, the biggest thing I got out of kitchens, good and bad, was finding my confidence. Knowing that I was good at something, because for so long I didn't think I was good at anything. And what started as cooking to connect with people became the place where she found her confidence, her purpose, and a sense of belonging. But even with all of her success, she still says, Every great thing in my career that has happened is because someone else saw my greatness before I could see it. So how did Kristen move from feeling like an outsider to feeling like she belonged?

6:44Well, I can't give away all the good stuff. It's time to question everything with Kristen Kish.

6:58It's been a minute since we've talked. You've become a traitor. I was a faithful. Yeah, but I was playing with the traitor. Has it messed how you read people at all? I'd like to say no, because I can separate game from real life. However, I did realize in that game that my gut was very much right in a lot of different things, but not in the context of the game. So like, I know immediately if we're going to jive. I know immediately if you're my kind of person or if I want to start building that trust with you. I can tell. But in a game where everyone's supposed to lie to your face, you know, it makes it a little bit more difficult.

7:41So yes and no. I'm a little bit more cautious, I'd say. Would you say you were a good read going into it? I mean, the first declaration I made was, it's Colton. I know it's him. He was not a traitor at all. But so no, I wasn't good. I wasn't good at all. I don't believe that because I think all of your time in a kitchen is like you are dealing with so many different personalities. I can't even imagine you didn't pick up like clues and ways to read people's mannerisms. I think if the pressure of the game wasn't on my shoulders, I think I do well under pressure. Maybe better cooking under pressure than trying to play a social game under pressure.

8:23So that was just like in a fishbowl all by itself. It was such an odd experience. That's so fair. I heard that you felt like even in a game of lies, it was still less pressure than a professional kitchen. Oh, 100%. And because in the game of traders, my career, my thing that I have been doing for over two decades and have dedicated my life to, which is food and cooking, was not at risk. So you put me in a kitchen, that pressure exponentially grows because now we're in real life. Like if I mess up here, this is going to also impact my reputation of if you want to come back to my restaurant or whatever the case may be.

9:06It's like Adele doing karaoke. Yes. Also, but she's so good at anything. Also, PS. So are you. Well, I have some clunker dishes. I have a feeling that Adele has never sung an out of two note ever, ever in her entire life. Disagree. Oh, we've heard this. Yeah. Everybody has, you know, in my head, she's perfect. I like your love for Adele. While that show might not be your normal playground, I read you were struggling in the castle kitchen, like in your rookie top chef days. Did you really try making grilled cheese in a toaster? I sure did. So in that kitchen in the castle, there's a kitchen behind the scenes where like catering and stuff works out of.

9:47The kitchen that's on screen, they're not going to put a real life kitchen in there because all I would do is cook and everyone would just, we would no longer play the game. It's true. Everyone would be eating. Right. And so it would be quite distracting. So the kitchen, the only heat source was a toaster. I got, I felt a little sassy and maybe a little overconfident that I could make a grilled cheese in the toaster and the butter melted. And then it started smoking and a producer had to come in, unplug it because it was going to catch on fire. How was the grilled cheese? It was edible. Lisa Renna still says every now and again, I hear it.

10:20She's like that piece of buttered bread that you buttered for me was one of the best bites of food. Monet, I made a sandwich for and she was like, this is amazing. And that's also then to say, you can kind of see how hungry we were. And you know, a deli meat sandwich and a buttered piece of bread was a delicious bite of food. I know that you're used to sort of interacting with all these different people, because on Top Chef, people from all over the country come. It must have been sort of interesting to be in a house with people from all walks of life. Like, what was that like? I didn't really know anybody.

10:56I had heard of some names. I'd recognized a few faces, but I had never watched religiously their shows that they come from. So like, I'm trying to get to know these people completely at face value, which I think ultimately was a good thing for me. As someone who has done a lot of work to overcome intense social anxiety with new people, the work paid off. Because I was able to go in there and just be me. I think it's also the lack of caring about how I come off or do you like me or am I going to be impressive enough? I just went in there as me and I was going to vibe with who I vibed with. And if I didn't, then that's OK, too.

11:33OK, I want to talk about food because it's always been the center of your story. Do you remember when it became a love language for you? I think it kind of always was. So as soon as I realized that I could get a good reaction or any kind of reaction out of somebody, and I didn't have to talk, I didn't have to make small talk and getting to know you, I didn't have to play this game of the social game that I was so anxious by. And so when I realized that I could just sit with myself, cook something and give you food and you're going to be like, oh my gosh, and I didn't have to say a damn word. Great.

12:08That's when it like everything started to click for me. and ultimately step-by-step drove me to a place where I wanted to be in a kitchen. And then somehow I ended up on television, but you know, life is funny sometimes. But yeah, it was when I realized I didn't have to talk, but I also could do something really good for other people. And it would make people smile and feel something. Yeah. Yeah. That's so beautiful. Do you remember the first time you cooked something that was really delicious? Well, my dad said my soy sauce chocolate pudding was delicious. It was not. We got to back up and share what the soy sauce chocolate pudding is.

12:45So I was a child, single digit age. I was experimenting in the kitchen. I was going through the process of cooking long before I realized what it was to develop flavor. And so I took this memory of my mother's gravy that she would thicken with a cornstarch slurry. She'd put it in the refrigerator. The next day you'd come back and it's like jello. And so I remembered the process of how you get that texture. And so I was like, I'm going to make chocolate pudding. There was no chocolate in the house. I think I took water, maybe milk. I'm not even sure. And then I made a slurry of water and I thickened this liquid.

13:21And then I turned it brown into chocolate by using soy sauce. And I put it in the refrigerator. I was so proud that I made this like really cool science experiment. My dad came home, he took a bite of it and he was like, hmm, this is great. You know, cause he didn't want to hurt my feelings. I love that you used to think that the color mattered more than the flavor. And I think that that is actually a really interesting thing to dissect. Well, developing a flavor and developing a palette to understand what balance in a good dish is. Yeah. That takes a lot of practice. That means you are trying so many foods.

13:55You're out there going to restaurants. You're experimenting with other chefs. And so when you're a kid, you know, I was eating, you know, Midwestern kid food. But what I did know how to do was make something look like something else. Like if you showed me a video, 30-minute video on how to build a chair, that is kind of, I'm a visual learner in that way. And just by watching, I know how to build that chair and I will get you that chair. It might not be good, but I'm going to do it. The same thing I went through with cooking. I was watching it all through the screen. I wasn't tasting it. So I knew how to get the outcome.

14:31I just didn't know what it tasted like. So you were watching Food Network or... I was. Cooking shows, Great Chefs of the World. It's an incredible show. You should go on YouTube. If you like really calm, soothing things, it'll put you to sleep in all the most beautiful ways. Wow. It's just these chefs just cooking, low budget. It's not lights, camera, action, food, competition stuff. It is just cooking from all these chefs from around the world. And it's dubbed over by this woman with this like really charming Louisiana accent. And it's just, it's amazing. How do you make sense of that as like a 10-year-old watching cooking shows?

15:06Like, do you feel like you were just born to do this? I think that the way I learn and the way that something grabs my attention is in how it looks. It's like this visual like draw for me. If I were five years old and at the time, you know, when I would get home from school, woodworking would have been on. Yeah. And I turned that on. I'd probably be a woodworker right now. I think it was just imprinted in me so quickly. It was less about the cooking and more about the structure and the method about someone making something. Your first job was at a pretzel shop in the mall. Yes. My first job cooking food.

15:42My first job before the pretzel shop, I was a host and a busser. at a restaurant at Lone Star Steakhouse and Saloon. It was back in the day when you could smoke in restaurants and I would clean the ashtrays. But like my first real cooking job was twisting pretzels in the mall. And you write in your book that it was almost therapeutic for you. Yes. Everybody I know who has had a job similar to that, whether it's in a bakery, my mom worked at a pie shop and she was like, after four days, I could never look at pie. you had the opposite experience so explain this they were so good so I would mess with the hydration of the dough because depending on the season I could get all dorky about it but depending on the season like my job was to efficiently roll pretzels so when the dough is properly hydrated and properly rested I could roll so fast like I don't know how many a minute but I was in the window and I would clap the rope and I'd twist it in the air and I'd drop it and because there's so many different toppings and ways you can explore how a pretzel tastes.

16:43Yeah. It was endless possibilities to explore my creativity. And it was, I mean, it's so good. Who doesn't love a soft, hot, buttered pretzel? Oh, it's what I order in any movie theater. My mouth is watering. Yeah. You got any? Truly. Have you cooked a dish since that has given you that feeling? The pretzel feeling. Wow. That was a very specific time of my life. Yeah. And, you know, 10 people. And I liken it to the dance where like your mind shuts off and your body is just going through these motions and creating, you don't have to think about it. And when I was working at stir cooking for 10 people a night, doing my own dishes during service, it was basically hosting a dinner party every night.

17:24I found that same hypnotic flow. I think that's what they call flow state these days or like what the kids are saying. Like I was fully in flow state in those two jobs and I love them so much.

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18:47Hello, hello. This is Malcolm Glabal from Smart Talks with IBM. Today we're diving into a fascinating conversation with Stefano Pallard, head of fan development for Scuderia Ferrari HP. Your pronunciation is strongly American. It's more Scuderia Ferrari. I'm still working on rolling my R's. But what I was able to learn from Stefano was the importance of engaging the Tifosi, the Ferrari superfans in the digital age. Ferrari fans and superfans want to be part of something, want to belong to something. So they want to be part of a community and ultimately they want to be part of a winning team. You've got Ferrari, which has a long history, design history.

19:31And now you're interacting in a kind of digital space. I'm curious how you balance those two traditions. When it comes to fan engagement, it's really digital technology and digital channels are being able to create a deeper connection with our fans. To learn more about how Ferrari and IBM are using technology to build deeper connections with fans, visit ibm.com slash Ferrari.

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21:35When did you go from, I could do this all day, to thinking I'm going to build a life around this? I think that builds. Because there are so many different stages of life. where when I was 18, there's no way I could have envisioned what I wanted when I was 25. I thought I did, but you have no idea. You have to go through every stage of life and every year and build upon it. And then it is ever changing and ever evolving. And that will determine the path that you take. And so I think it was a slow build. And in that way, I don't know if I can pinpoint exactly because all of a sudden it feels like, you know, I surprise myself now.

22:13Like I look back at my jobs and the current jobs that I have and I'm like, how did that happen? Like I completely, in a lot of beautiful ways, just completely blanked out and I just went through it. I reached that flow state and you're just in this new system where things are building on each other and you're open to opportunities and you just keep moving through it. You can. I know it's a hard thing to describe, but can you drill into that more? I'm very curious about it because I know working in kitchens is so difficult. so not everything is in flow like I know that there must have been awful bosses and difficult moments and burns and times where you're like am I even in the right place like why am I doing this to myself so how do you know how does Kristen know what the next right move is or even when to make a move I think a series of mistakes all of the choices that I've made some right some are I still make bad choices.

23:12You think? I do. I think so. I think that we are run by our subconscious minds. Yes. 90 something percent. And so depending, like I could ask you a question and perhaps today other things were happening or you had gone through different things and you're going to give me an emotional response. three days later, you're going to look back and that wasn't the right response because it was based off of this subconscious reaction that sometimes I think gets confused with a gut reaction. And so I think honing in what it feels like to give an emotional response versus logical response, they're very different.

23:52And so yes, because of that, I still make mistakes because sometimes I give an emotional response because I just react. The last mistake you made, what do you mean? I'll give you a very broad. So I think that I said yes to the wrong job. In the moment in which it was put in my lap, I was considering a lot of different things that weren't driven by my authentic genuine compass that I usually make choices by yeah and I let something else get in the way I let money get in the way and I wanted that but I kind of forgot that for so much of my career all of my career I have worked so hard to drive in this other lane and just for a minute because there were other things going on and I just was like you know what I had like a fuck it moment.

24:52I was like, yeah, sure. And I don't think for me, it was the right decision. And it was a nice reminder. And I think it's important to have those reminders to recheck you back in line. And it resets and reconfirms that over here is exactly where I need it to be. So appreciate you sharing that. And I think it's so relatable. It's so hard to move through real life as an adult and not think about money, not make a financial decision. When you think about what usually drives you, is it fun? Is it integrity for the food? What is that metric for you? Integrity is a great word. I think it's integrity.

25:33I think it's a genuine connection to whatever it is that I'm being presented with. Yeah. An authentic, there needs to be a line drawn. on, I need to be able to connect the dots. That's how I create food. If I create a dish, and I can't tell you the point of where I wanted that inspiration, where it needed to come from, or usually, let me back up a little bit. A lot of the food that I create is coming from my version of comfort food, what I grew up eating. There needs to be one flavor or something in there that's like Kristen's favorite food when she was five. And if I can't draw that line, it doesn't belong on my menu.

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26:09What is the thing? What makes it a Kristen dish? So honestly, it's like kind of like trashy processed food. I grew up in the Midwest where casseroles and box foods. I grew up in the era where I would come home from school and I'd open up a box of mac and cheese and I would doctor it up. You know, you add a little bit less milk, add more butter, gets richer. And then you like, you know, dip potato chips in it. Like that's what I was eating. And so that is my comfort foods. I love that you said that because I don't know that I would have like understood that. And it's true now that I understand it.

26:41So if you come to my restaurant, hopefully you come one day, there is a dish that was created off of my love of Hamburger Helper. Now, there is no Hamburger Helper. There's none of that. We make everything in-house, homemade pastas. The sauce takes like four days because we're rehydrating and dehydrating. There's actually no beef in it whatsoever. But it's the feeling. When you say comfort food, everybody has a reaction on what dishes that means for you. and comfort food. It's just, it's not a particular flavor. It's a feeling. And those were the flavors of my childhood and my feelings of my childhood.

27:19So how does this sensitive, in tune, socially anxious girl go into the chaos of a kitchen? You know, I think television media and kitchen culture was glorified for so long. This like bad boy behavior, rock and roll, drugs, like blah, blah, blah, blah. And yes, there is a lot of that. And there was a lot of that. I'm sure plenty of places are still like that. But for so many people that chose a life in the kitchen, it was a place to feel like you belonged. So when you find the right kitchen, not all of them are like what you see on TV or whatever. A lot of them are safe space for a lot of people.

27:58That's how my kitchen is. It's a safe space for people to feel protected in a way from all of the other things around them that make them feel uncomfortable. And so it was for me a place where I felt confident. In some kitchens, I felt very protected and supported. So I think it's uncomfortable and maybe intimidating for people that have never worked in a kitchen or chosen that career path. For the ones that do, you know, when you find that right kitchen, it's like the most peaceful place. Sounds like it was healing for you in some ways. It was. Honestly, the biggest thing I got out of kitchens, good and bad, was finding my confidence, knowing that I was good at something because for so long, I didn't think I was good at anything.

28:41Well, you're very, very good at hosting Top Chef. Thank you. Which you have done the past three seasons. What's been the biggest shift for you stepping into the host role? You know, I've thought about this question a lot and every year it changes. I was asked last night, how has your mindset changed since being a contestant to hosting and now hosting your third season? And there hasn't been. Because me hosting Top Chef, what I think makes me good at that job is that I have over two decades of experience talking about food, talking to chefs, being the one talked at, giving feedback. it's this language that I've been talking about and talking in for over two decades of my life.

29:26Yeah. And yes, now we're on TV. I'm in full glam. There's more cameras and great lighting and everything around you. But the core and the mindset that I have is the exact same mindset I have on why food excites me and how it has been. I heard that Gail Simmons, when you got the job, was basically like, yeah, of course she was going to be Kristen. Right. I'm glad she knew because I had no idea. When the announcement came out and clearly they needed another post. Yeah. I was like, I wonder who that's going to be. There is no chance in hell that I was ever going to get that phone call. It never went through your mind.

30:04Never. I thought about it for a split second. Wow, that could be fun. but then I let that go because I never thought it was going to be a possibility for me because who we are inside and how we feel is sometimes different than what other people see and I've always said it every great thing in my career that has happened is because someone else saw my greatness before I could see it wow that's how I got competing on Top Chef different jobs I've had I'm like you want me and they're like of course we want you and I'm like why and then they tell me. Yeah. What a gift. It's huge. And so once other people see that and say that, it is then my responsibility to say, you know what?

30:42You're right. I'm going to go prove it to myself now. Have you found a classy way to wear sweatpants on set? Are you still unbuttoning your pants? No, no, no. I don't care if it's classy or not. I buy my sweatpants about three sizes too big. There's a drawstring. And so if it happens all the time, walking around set or walking around in my house, if I don't tie tight enough, they are too big for me where if I put the weight of my phone in my pocket, they're going to slide down. Yeah. I feel like that's the real top chef tea. Nobody's talking about. I will tell you this season. So the past two seasons, Tom, I learned from Tom that when you're behind judge's table, don't seize your legs.

31:21It's true. And so he always changed into shorts and flip-flops. And so he'd wear a suit jacket and then his shorts. You're kidding. That's like COVID outfit. Correct. Exactly. And so I was like, well, Tom's doing that. I want to do that. And so I would change out of my perfectly tailored fitted pants and I would put sweatpants on. This season, because they were doing some shots behind judge's table, we had to put our real pants back on. We had to keep the full outfits on. And sometimes even the whole, like the shoes and everything. It was a sad day when they took away the sweatpants at judges table.

31:54Are you busting out of your pants? I am. They're always unbuttoned if they can be unbuttoned. And I'm also trying to figure out how I need to sit because when you eat 15 plates of food, your pants feel a little bit tighter. And so you've got to figure out a way where you can feel a little bit more comfortable for sitting for like four hours. I remember people back in the day would always ask the top chef host and judges, like if they had a workout routine during filming because you're eating that much food. I thought you're just having a little bite and then... In some cases. So I've always said on TV, I know it looks like we're eating so much food, which yes, it's a lot of food.

32:36But I would argue that every bite that I take, if you took every single bite I consumed and put it on one plate, the volume of that food is no bigger than a regular meal. That's kind of what I would guess. Like the only thing that makes it a little bit more challenging is like so many different flavor profiles that your brain is trying to comprehend. But it's not that much food, if you ask me. I still need to eat again after, so. You do? We do. We go to dinner. Gail Simmons is famous for saying we are human beings. And the beauty of that is that we can eat a meal, but what, four hours later, you need another one.

33:13That's so nice. Yeah. Really cool. You've been nominated for an Emmy every season that you've hosted. I have, yeah. As someone who used to never want attention to be on her, what does it mean to you to be nominated as the face of something? I think that I am accepting it more and I'm a little bit more comfortable with it because this is a cooking competition show that I once competed on, that I once won because of my skill. And so I feel less of like maybe a floating head and more of like, I came up through this show. I am standing in this position because I competed on it. Yeah, your DNA is there.

33:56It feels genuine and authentic. So sometimes I feel like perhaps I feel a little bit lacking purpose. And that sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable if I'm in a room and I don't feel like I have a strong purpose. Here, I feel very grounded in that purpose. And so therefore, it's more comfortable. Yeah. And you know the crew and it's like... It's a show that has changed so many lives that has then gone on and translated so many of your lives because we all need to eat. And you go to these restaurants and you seek out these chefs that you've just watched on television and you're fueling and feeding the communities because you're going to the restaurants and the small businesses.

34:34It's just this whole ecosystem that goes from TV, reality, television, entertainment into all of our lives in some form. I actually want a cultural critic to do a study on Top Chef and the increase of popular mass media female chefs. Yes. Because I remember I'm from Chicago and I remember Stephanie opened multiple restaurants in Chicago in a place that is incredibly male dominated. Like we'd never really had that before. I just, I do think it's changed so many people's lives. And it's changed the landscape of this industry in so many ways. I love you talk about the introduction to amazing, strong, powerful women in the kitchen that have been doing this thing for so long, but now like this moment of recognition, same thing with different foods from different cultures that aren't mainstream for a long time.

35:28Weren't like in the top, like three cuisines that were being celebrated, but now they are. And they're surpassing the French and the Italian. Like now we're talking, we're going, we're seeking out restaurants that are like, I mean, I had never been to a fine dining Nigerian restaurant before. Now those exist. How cool is that? You're right.

36:17We'll be right back. payment of AT &T, Verizon, and T-Mobile customers compared to 12 months on the Boost Mobile Unlimited Wireless plan as of January 2026. For full offer details, visit boostmobile.com. When it comes to advancing your education, you have more options than you think. At Rasmussen University, we find ways to remove barriers, not build them, like a new laptop if you're eligible, and enroll in select online or on-campus programs. That means flexible and engaging online courses and resources, tuition savings options if you qualify, exceptional student support, and much more. online nationally or check out their 20 campuses across six states.

36:49Start when you're ready and get the support you need. Visit rasmussen.edu.

36:57Hello, hello. This is Malcolm Glabal from Smart Talks with IBM. Today we're diving into a fascinating conversation with Stefano Pallard, head of fan development for Scuderia Ferrari HP. Your pronunciation is strongly American. It's more Scuderia Ferrari. I'm still working on rolling my R's. But what I was able to learn from Stefano was the importance of engaging the Tifosi, the Ferrari superfans in the digital age. Ferrari fans and superfans want to be part of something, want to belong to something. So they want to be part of a community, and ultimately they want to be part of a winning team. You've got Ferrari, which has a long history, design history.

37:42And now you're interacting in a kind of digital space. I'm curious how you balance those two traditions. When it comes to fan engagement, it's really digital technology and digital channels are being able to create a deeper connection with our fans. To learn more about how Ferrari and IBM are using technology to build deeper connections with fans, visit ibm.com slash Ferrari.

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39:45So you've hosted across Fast Foodies, Iron Chef, Restaurants at the End of the World, and now, of course, Top Chef. What has each version of that experience given you that you didn't expect? You know, when you look back on life, you're like, all of the right things happened at the right time. And then you can start to puzzle piece your life together. And you're like, oh, it all makes sense now. I know for a fact that fast foodies lent me to hosting Iron Chef. I remember there was a very top executive that I had known for my top chef days, who was working at Netflix at the time. She saw me on fast foodies and she's like, oh, Kristen has found her voice.

40:26and that's how I my name entered somewhere in the Iron Chef consideration and Iron Chef I know for a fact got me ready for like the spontaneity and the unscripted likeness of what Top Chef is yes every step taught me that I am actually good at these things and it's got confidence booster like every single time I did it yeah I mean even if the shows never got picked up It just made room and experience for the next thing and the next thing. I remember I was so sad when one show didn't get picked up and I was devastated. And I was like, oh my God. But then three months later, another show, another network came in and had the other show gotten picked up, I wouldn't have been able to do this other one that actually excited me more.

41:15You're only able to see it in hindsight. You are. Yeah. Which is like teaches you a lot of patience and life. Yeah. Another gift of age. Also, yes. I love getting older because I'm learning so much more about myself. And also you're embracing all of the most amazing things that you never knew you could dream. Those all start to come into focus as each year passes. I never thought getting older would happen to me the way I don't feel like menopause is going to happen to me. I just genuinely like I'm not even. Yeah, we'll talk about it later. Yeah. Call me when you're having your first night sweat.

41:50I'll do the same. Okay, good. But I do actually like aging. I really, truly. Yeah. I truly do. Life gets better and better because I get more comfortable with myself. Yeah. And there's something so freeing about understanding who you are and what you want and what matters. And most importantly, what doesn't actually matter. Okay. So I want to talk about your personal story because we talked a lot about food, but after reading your memoir, Accidentally on Purpose, I felt as if I understood where your love of food came from. And I want everybody to feel that. It's so much about finding your way.

42:27And you said something I loved. I wrote it down. It says, today, my interest in exploring the Korean parts of me is rooted in my sense of curiosity. When I hosted travel shows, my tendency to question everything was the driving force. I'm interested in seeing how other people live and knowing what another life could be like. Do you think that that deep curiosity came from you wanting to understand the world or was it really you wanting to understand yourself? It was more about myself. And it was, if we take a couple of steps behind that, it was being adopted and growing up in a home that I was not, I didn't look like everybody else.

43:10and so also when you are adopted you can't help but think about all the other things that could have happened that could have landed you with another family in any other part of the world and how different your life could have been and that has always been that driving force of the curiosity I could have been I could have been anywhere else like of course we all have that right we're born into the family and like what if I was born into another but there's I don't know if there's words to explain it. And I think being an adoptee, there is this sense of belonging that never really settles in, in the way that I feel like if you are biologically born into a family.

43:52So yeah, you always feel like, what if, what if that happened? I don't know. I've had friends who are adopted who would say to me, like they would look around and be like, oh, maybe that's my mom. Oh, yeah. Or you felt that. When I went to Korea for the first time, I was like kind of taken aback. I was like, do I look like you're? Because when you're transracially adopted and you don't look like the people, I don't want to say long for, long for is not the right word, but I've always been the most curious about what two people made me. Like, and I would love to see a picture of these two people that made me because you could look at your family members, cousins, mom, dad, whatever, and be like, oh my God, we have the same eyes.

44:38Yes. You can draw that connection, but I don't have that. But I will say, more importantly, the thing that I can say that I got from my mom and dad, which I think is even more important than how you look, is your values and your character. I don't think that was instilled in me within birth. That had to be taught. to me by example. And that is more important than anything. I almost feel emotional hearing you talk about it right now. I said to my dad the other day, he was like, your eyebrows look good. And I said, well, they're your eyebrows. And even at 35, I feel such a connection because of that.

45:22And I truly feel like I'm an empathetic person, I cannot even imagine what it would feel like growing up and not having that. The thing that you feel, for me at least, the things that I felt like I missed out on, I mean, you spend about a half a millisecond thinking about it because you realize all the things that you actually have and the things that you've gained. My life is infinitely bigger and better in all the ways because of my mom and my dad and my brother, like without question. There is no way I would have become this person without them. And I know that for a fact. Do you feel now sitting here, you can say you have found an anchor point or does that sense of belonging still sort of sting or live inside of you?

46:16Vibrate maybe is a better word. There's a difference now because there's a personal and professional belonging that I'm very much grounded in. There's a cultural belonging that is still a little bit undetermined. That needs more exploration. That part needs more permission for me to give myself to say, well, already, yeah, I am Korean enough or I know enough. So the cultural belonging is different. Yeah. I go to Korea and I still feel I look around and I don't feel like I belong. And you have to reckon with the idea that you feel like you should and then you don't. That's like this like inner turmoil that's happening over here.

47:00But I've gotten more comfortable with that as I've gotten older. Do you remember the first time you went to Korea? I do. It was for five days for a work trip. And I questioned on whether I wanted to go or not in that way. But I was like, you know what, this is perfect. Like someone else paying for it. I don't have to put so much pressure on myself to find it and like to find myself. And so I remember some adoptive friends that I have said, you know, when you get on the airplane and you're coming in to land in Seoul, Korea, you're going to look out and you're going to see the motherland and you are going to feel this thing.

47:34Your eyes are going to well. You're going to have this whole moment. And I still remember I was sitting on the airplane and I was looking out the window. It's like, okay, that feeling is not coming. Like, what is wrong with me? And then, you know, when you start to force yourself to feel something, you're like, come on. Like, you like hype yourself up and it never came. And I felt so defeated because I was like, everyone told me that this is what's going to happen. And then it makes you feel like, well, what's wrong with me? Yes. But that feeling came later on. I was walking through a market and I stopped in this little stamp store.

48:08And they make like hand stamps or whatever. And the guy making the stamps, he was like, well, what do you want? I said my Korean name. And he was like, well, what is it? And then, you know, he started asking me other questions. And, you know, I told him I was adopted. It's my first time, blah, blah, blah. And he said to me, oh, my God, now I'm going to cry. This is like the eighth time I've told this story and I cry every single time. And he goes, you belong here. And that was my moment of coming into this hole that I never expected. Why does it make you emotional? Because I think hearing it for the first time from a complete stranger, after feeling like you failed at feeling the thing you were supposed to feel coming there, and it just like completely caught you off guard.

48:58Like I was like, holy shit, because I don't feel like I belong here whatsoever. Because I spent four months of my life there. That's it. And then I left. And so to find, I mean, hopefully everybody can have that moment of like, oh my God, I finally belong. And it was like this permission to be like, you didn't have to grow up here. You don't have to speak the same language. You don't have to know anything about this damn country if you don't want to, but you still belong here. And I think that was like, because there was so much pressure I put on myself. What an exhale. I exhaled hearing you say it.

49:34I tell that story all the time and I cry every time. Yeah. I get it. Yeah. There's something about your story or the mini stories within your larger story, I should say, that hit on the theme of that, which is this beautiful stranger who you never saw again came into your life. and saw something in you. And I get the title accidentally on purpose. It seems like you fell in love accidentally on purpose too. I did. Complete accident. Yeah. Which can we talk about how that could happen to me? It's going to happen for you. That's the most beautiful way to fall in love is when it just happens. I'm joking.

50:18I want to hear your story, but it's really moving. And I actually want to share your dedication first, because you say for the two people whose story I do not know yet, but who set my own in motion. I'm curious if being adopted shaped that way of thinking for you. A hundred percent. How can it not? It is something that sometimes in parts of my life I try to heal or like create in like this nice little package of like, I totally get it. And this is what it is. But every time I've gone through stages of life, it's opened up a part of me that I think is tied to that. And sometimes it's a feeling that I carry on with me for the rest of my life.

51:02And sometimes it's just like a fleeting thought. But it's, you know, I think that is my, that is my history. That is my connection to my culture. And so I hold on to it really, really tightly. And I protect it. I think it's important in the same way that, you know, a lot of my friends have gone on and, you know, really tapped into their culture and how they want to cook. Yeah. For me, it's like that's the place I go back to to find the inspiration on the things that I want to do and how I live my life and the food I want to cook.

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52:10For full offer details, visit BoostMobile.com. When it comes to advancing your education, you have more options than you think. At Rasmussen University, we find ways to remove barriers, not build them. Like a new laptop if you're eligible and enroll in select online or on-campus programs. That means flexible and engaging online courses and resources, tuition savings options if you qualify, exceptional student support, and much more. Online nationally or check out their 20 campuses across six states. Start when you're ready and get the support you need. Visit rasmussen.edu.

52:44Hello, hello. This is Malcolm Glabal from Smart Talks with IBM. Today we're diving into a fascinating conversation with Stefano Pallard, head of fan development for Scuderia Ferrari HP. Your pronunciation is strongly American. It's more Scuderia Ferrari. I'm still working on rolling my R's. But what I was able to learn from Stefano was the importance of engaging the Tifosi, the Ferrari superfans in the digital age. Ferrari fans and super fans want to be part of something, want to belong to something. So they want to be part of a community and ultimately they want to be part of a winning team. You've got Ferrari, which has a long history, design history.

53:28And now you're interacting in a kind of digital space. I'm curious how you balance those two traditions. When it comes to fan engagement, it's really digital technology and digital channels. are being able to create a deeper connection with our fans. To learn more about how Ferrari and IBM are using technology to build deeper connections with fans, visit ibm.com slash Ferrari.

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55:32How do you process the mystery of where your story began while owning where it's gone? I look at it through a lens of excitement and a mystery that never has to be solved. And I think when you take that pressure off of, you don't have to have the answer. You don't have to complete the circle. It's this thing. And it can remain a mystery. And every time I decide to visit it, it could be a different question. It could be a different mystery. It could tell a different story. Yeah. And I think that is, I don't know, it's like this open-ended book over here that just gets to live on and on and on. I really admire that you're not obsessed with cracking the case.

56:11No, I had to let that go a long time ago because it's never going to get cracked. There's a lot of things with transracial adoption that is very complicated. I mean, there are stories, you know, mid 70s to mid 80s where, you know, American adoption agencies were basically stealing babies. And it was like they were selling these children internationally. and there were accusations on a lot of these agencies. And so could I have been part of that? Maybe, I don't know. And I don't need to know. And that's also okay. And I will never know. So the things that I know for a fact may not even be a fact, which to some people I think might kind of drive them a little crazy.

56:58For me, it's just, it is what it is. There's nothing I can do about it. So what I know is that the story that has been told to me on paper, written in reports, was a woman came in, a clinic, room number two, she was wearing a navy sweatsuit, she had perm tear, she came in, she was 5 '4", gave birth to me, never came back, they waited four days, they gave me over to the authorities, and then I got shuffled around orphanages until I was adopted. That's the story I tell, that's the story that I mostly believe, But there is a possibility that that's not true. So my life's journey is not to solve that story.

57:41My life's journey is actually to just create the life that I'm living and that I want. I really appreciate that second part. The existential question of what is the meaning or purpose of life gets thrown around, especially on podcasts, I think a lot. And the best answer I've ever heard was from Oprah and RuPaul in an interview. And RuPaul said, well, the first thing is for me to enjoy this life. Yes, exactly. We don't have to figure everything out. We don't have to have everything in order. You got one living life right now that's happening. I mean, it would be a horrible thing to watch that pass by, trying to solve problems that really don't need to be solved.

58:20Yeah. Okay, tell me the love story. So it's actually not romantic, I guess. So a lot of my relationships before meeting my wife, Bianca, were always founded and rooted in passion and lust. That I was getting confused with love. And at that stage in my life, that was totally fine. Had a great time. Mildly toxic, but really exciting. And I learned a lot. So at that stage in my life, I thought that was love. And that's okay. It was. I can confidently say that I have loved every one of my exes. With Bianca, it was the unexpected. It's the thing that I didn't know. I moved to Austin to open a restaurant.

59:01I had never been there. We have a whole corporate team from New York that's coming in. So we're all meeting in this place to open up this project. And over time, Bianca and I became friends. It was six or seven months. We were friends and entered a relationship like that before. Because you go out on a date And the goal is to see where this goes and to date and have a relationship. With Bianca, I wasn't looking for a relationship, but this friendship started to build. And so that foundation of getting to know somebody before putting the pressures on the future was a very new feeling for me. And so just it happened.

59:45I can't, it's hard to give all the different ways that it happened because I'm not exactly sure what was going on. But eventually we got to a place where it was like, I think I'm feeling something. I don't know if she is and I don't want to like overstep. It's also a part of my career where like, I was like, I don't really want to mess up this working professional relationship that we have and a personal friendship that has been built. Yeah. And so I was treading very lightly. And I don't know, it just, it all happened because we like high fived. And that high five lingered just a little too long.

1:00:27And that was like a mutual, I don't know, it was all in a high five. You both knew. Yes, it was instant. That's so cool. Yeah. After what, six or seven months of knowing each other. And then you knew it was worth risking the friendship. It was worth finding out where it went. And I think because at that point, I mean, Again, we had developed a foundation of friendship for six or seven months now. Yeah. It was a really confident box to stand on to want to go into the next stage. Tell me, if you're willing, how you've changed now being in love with Bianca. I cry a lot more. She required of me to become more emotionally available.

1:01:07I thought I was. I was not. That's interesting. Yeah. And hard. I thought that I always needed to be this strong pillar of strength and having it all together. And when doing that, I thought that meant I wasn't allowed to feel all the things that made me sad or that made me cry or things that softened me. So she required me to be that for myself first and foremost, which then helps out her. she is the most there aren't enough words that I know that can properly describe the human that she is I don't and it's you know I talk about her all the time and I'm running out of words because they're not they're they they don't carry enough weight it is a feeling every single person that has ever crossed paths with her have always said to me how the fuck did you get this one I'm like I don't know.

1:02:09She is compassionate. She is strong. She has this magical empathy about her and how she moves through the world. She has the heart of gold. It's a feeling. I don't know what it is and so it's been like to exhale in this relationship i have never felt more myself and have been given more permission to be all the versions of myself yeah all of them without judgment it is truly the definition of unconditional love which prior to bianca i only knew that in the form of my family's unconditional love. We talk about getting older and feeling more free. It is exactly the same feeling. You can breathe.

1:03:09You can disagree. You can fight. You can have arguments. You can have challenges. But everything is grounded in. We are doing, we are going, this is ours. It's not going anywhere. And so you're so willing to go through all that stuff because you know it's going to be okay. I saw you well up a little bit when you were talking about her. I typically cry when I talk about her. What are you feeling? There's a lot of layered feelings because for a long time, I didn't think I was going to be able to get married. Why? Because it wasn't legal. I mean, it wasn't legal for same-sex couples to get married until 2015.

1:03:49That's insane. Yeah. And so I never thought it was something I could dream. I struggled a lot with my sexuality when I was a kid Wondering if I was ever ever going to live a life that felt true to me And so when you find that person that allows you to do all those things In a time where it is now possible But there's a thing that in the book it says one day I will wake up knowing that I have lived my genuine out authentic life longer than I had not been living. Yeah. I'm not there yet. I still haven't crossed over that threshold of living in that majority yet. And so I never take it for granted.

1:04:38So it's gratitude. How I'm allowed to live. Yeah. It's more than gratitude. It's a possibility that I thought was impossible for a long time. So glad you had that. Yeah. God, me too because i don't know if anyone you can read it in the book but i don't know if anyone understood unless you have felt it before the hopelessness and the like you kind of gave up on thinking that you were ever going to be able to live the life you could live i still remember that feeling deeply i don't know that that ever goes away Like you can access that so quickly. But I think when you channel it and you push it into gratitude and love and opportunity and possibility, it just fuels it even more.

1:05:30Were there any books or stories or movies that gave you hope when you were growing up that made you think like made you feel seen at all? I don't know. I don't think so. My mom and dad tried. They would read me like the Korean Cinderella. You know, I would see queer people on TV. but it was never, it was different. It was different back then. So no, I think that's why I almost felt, I almost felt hopeless. Your life is such a testimony then. I mean, I hope so. Okay. I'm going to do some rapid fire with you, Kristen. The last time you were a real life trader. I was a trader to myself the last time I said yes to what I think was the wrong job for me.

1:06:10The most underrated fried food. I know you said rapid fire, but I take these very seriously. I know. I appreciate this. Would you consider a fried pickle underrated? Yeah. Okay. Fried pickle. Delicious. Never had one. Dipped it in red. Excuse me. No, I'm serious. The most overrated fried food. Only because they're everywhere on menus. Fried olives. I don't need a fried olive. I don't even know what that would be like. Just take an olive, dip it in, do egg wash, bread, and fry it. I'm okay on that. I don't need that. Okay. The silliest way that you've injured yourself in the kitchen. Oh God, you really want to know?

1:06:44Okay. I was in my twenties. It was a very interesting time of my life in Chicago. I was having a lot of fun doing extracurriculars and I went to work not fully in my present body. I cut my finger. That was so dumb. It was so dumb. Oh my God. But also recently, like three Christmases ago, this is it. Scratch that first answer. Three Christmases ago, like I have this beautiful Japanese knife and I was washing it and I took the sponge. I'm scared to hear this story. I washed it and I had the sponge in one hand and a knife in the other. I got distracted. I went to wring out the sponge, but I closed the knife hand and my wife took me to the emergency room.

1:07:31And it was kind of funny that she was having a hard time. I was like laying in bed on the thing with my hand up and she had to lay down in the hallway because she couldn't look at my hand anymore. Yeah. And they kept going to her being like, are you okay? It's like the moment, you know, when like the husband passes out because the wife is giving birth to a human child. It was a little like that moment. Okay. The most underutilized condiment. Underutilized? Okay. I say this because it's very divisive condiment. Mayonnaise. It belongs in everything and anything. You can cook with it. It can go in sweet.

1:08:08savory baked goods. It can be a sauce. It can be a thing to help brown and crisp things. I love it with French fries and ketchup. French fries and ketchup. Anything. It is beautiful. It translates to every part of the kitchen for me. Totally agree. Okay. Your best dinner party hack, and I'm asking for a friend with this one. Best dinner party hack. Like what's added value to a dinner? Why wouldn't you? If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life. Chicken fingers. The chef you'd want to make your last meal. Ooh, good. May Lynn. She is a former top chef winner. She is one of the most brilliant cooks that I know.

1:08:45Wow. That's a huge answer. Okay. Something every woman should try once. Shaving their head. I did it. I did it and I grew it back. It wasn't my favorite, but it wasn't the worst either. You have a good shaped head, Kristen. No, I don't. That's why I grew it back. No, that's why I grew it back. The profile is a little flat. So I think it was a very liberating moment for me. Okay. A book you read that changed your life. Something you think everybody should read. I don't read books. Do you listen to them? Nope. So you wrote one. My book changed my life. There you go. Okay. Grab the question, everything card game.

1:09:19Okay. Shuffle through. It's like tarot. I really believe you get whichever one calls to you. Okay. Okay. And I just pick one. Yeah. Whichever one. I see there's a red one floating around. That's the instruction card. Do plants thrive or die in your care? This is a perfect question. Well, they die, but my wife makes them thrive. So I win. And that's why you're a perfect pair. Exactly. Kristen, you are such a joy to be with. Thank you. Thank you very much. As are you. Thank you for making me cry. Thank you.

1:09:54okay you know what time it is today's a good day to have a good day i'll see you next week

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From the publisher

Kristen Kish has built an extraordinary career. She's a Top Chef winner, the host of Top Chef, a James Beard Award winner, and the author of the memoir Accidentally on Purpose. But this conversation isn't really about food. It's about belonging. In this episode, Kristen opens up to Danielle about being adopted from Korea and raised in Michigan, growing up feeling different from the people around her, struggling with social anxiety, and spending years unsure of where she fit in. She shares how kitchens became the unexpected place where she found confidence, purpose, and a sense of identity. Kristen reflects on the relationship that changed her life, the career mistake that taught her the most, and how she's learned to make peace with some of the unanswered questions surrounding her story. In this episode you’ll learn: 

  • How Kristen went from struggling with self-doubt to becoming the host of Top Chef

  • The unexpected place Kristen found confidence after years of feeling like she didn't belong

  • Why she says she spent much of her childhood believing she wasn't good at anything

  • How food became Kristen Kish's way of connecting with people without having to perform

  • The behind-the-scenes reality of hosting Top Chef and judging world-class chefs

  • Why she believes other people often see our potential before we can see it ourselves

  • The surprising reason comfort food has nothing to do with food—and everything to do with identity

  • The career decision Kristen regrets making after prioritizing money over purpose

  • What stepping into Padma Lakshmi's role as Top Chef host taught Kristen Kish about confidence

  • Lessons from Kristen’s memoir, Accidentally on Purpose

  • Kristen’s journey with coming out, queer visibility, and living authentically

  • The love story that helped her become fully herself

  • How adoption shaped Kristen Kish's sense of identity and self-worth

  • The emotional encounter in Seoul that changed the way Kristen Kish thinks about home

  • Why making peace with unanswered questions can be one of life's greatest freedoms

Follow Kristen here

Check out Kristen’s memoir Accidentally on Purpose here

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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