Empowering Your Job Search: Three Essential Questions

0:03Ron Thurston:Welcome back to Retail in America. I'm Ron Thurston recording from my studio here in Miami. And this is part two of a six episode arc I'm calling the human edge in the job market. And if you're just finding me here, a really warm welcome. Know that you're in the right place. This series is built for anyone in career transition in any industry. Three ideas for every episode. And every stat, as always, will be linked in the show notes. And if you want these delivered directly to your inbox, you can subscribe at ronthurston.com. But before I start, I want to say something. Because if you're in transition right now, and if you've lost a role, if you're thinking about leaving one, if you're just quietly scanning the job boards while you still have your job, I know how it feels.

0:58Ron Thurston:The pressure is real. The pressure to say yes to something, to just get something on the calendar, to just land somewhere so that people stop asking you questions. And I want to speak directly to one group of you today. And that's to the ones who have a, and I want to speak directly to one group of you today. The ones who don't have a lot of offers in front of them right now. And maybe you don't have any. Maybe you've been at this for longer than you thought you would be. Maybe the calendar has more empty space on it than you expected. I see you. And what I'm about to say is for you. Because today's episode is about the one thing most people don't want to hear when they're in that place.

1:47And the thing you might need to hear most. And that is that the wrong yes will cost you more than the right no.

1:56Ron Thurston:And the way to protect yourself, even when offers are scarce, especially actually when offers are scarce, comes down to three big questions you ask yourself. Three big questions before you say yes to anything. And inside the second one, I'm going to give you five interview questions to carry into every interview from now on. Three big questions for you, five interview questions for them. So let me get into it. So I want to tell you something I read last month that I really haven't stopped thinking about. And that's that Glassdoor publishes an annual trends report. And in their 2026 report, they pulled a number from their own data.

2:42Ron Thurston:And this is what it showed. Job applicants were 12 % less likely to reject a job offer now than they were in 2023. People are taking jobs right now that probably two years ago, they would have walked away from. And I wanna say something about that before I move on, because I don't want you to hear that number and feel any sense of shame of taking the wrong job. There's nothing wrong with wanting to land, absolutely nothing. If you've taken a role you weren't sure about or you're about to, certainly no judgment from me. Nobody has ever been out of work for any length of time is judging you. But I'm going to tell you the truth about what happens next, because the person listening to this show certainly deserves the truth.

3:36Glassdoor also tracks something else in the review data. Mentions of the word misaligned in employee reviews jumped 149 % from 2024 to 2025.

3:53Ron Thurston:149%. Mentions of disconnect up 24%. Mentions of distrust up 26%. That's what's happening inside the companies that people just took jobs at. And here's the one that really shakes me, that in 2025, an international survey by Resume Now across the United States, UK, France, and Germany asked people to name their biggest career regret. And 58 % said staying in a bad job too long. And only 38 % regretted quitting. The thing most of us are afraid of, which is walking away, is not the thing that haunts people years later. The thing that haunts them is staying. So when I tell you today that knowing what you won't compromise on is one of your biggest edges in this market, I don't mean it just as a philosophy.

4:52I mean it as protection, protection for yourself, because the market is pressuring you to settle. Your edge are these three big questions. So I want to give them to you now. So number one, what are my three non-negotiables? Not five, not 10, absolutely only three. And I want to separate two words here because people use them like they're the same thing, but they're really not. Preferences are the things that you'd like that are nice to have. Values are the things you won't live without and won't compromise on. Your values are non-negotiable. Your preferences might be negotiable. And most people, whether they're under pressure, and most people, when they're under pressure, when they don't have a lot of options in front of them, start trading away their values.

5:51Because they're convinced themselves that those things are really just preferences. And that's the trap of accepting the wrong role. And here's why it matters most when the offers are scarce. When you have three offers, you can compare. When you have one, the only thing standing between you and a wrong yes is whether you knew what you wouldn't compromise on before the offer arrived. So here's the question right now, before any offer is even on the table. what are the three things, and only three, that you will not compromise in in your next role? Because when you list five or ten, you give yourself permission to trade.

6:37Ron Thurston:And when you list three, they become really real. So let me give you some examples of what that means. Not to tell you what yours should be by any imagination, but to show you the shape. Maybe one of yours is, I will not work for a manager I don't respect. That's a value and that one shapes everything. Maybe one is I will not take a role where I can't see how I add value in the next 90 days. Maybe one is I will not take a role that costs me time with my family that I can't get back. Those aren't just slogans. Those are filters. And the reason they matter is because once you know them, every conversation you have about a role passes through these filters.

7:26You stop negotiating with yourself in the shower at five o 'clock in the morning when you can't think about anything else

7:34Ron Thurston:because you just know there's confidence in understanding what these values are. And here's something I believe, and it's something I've spent a lot of time on. When your career aligns with your values, your confidence and your capabilities grow together. And when it doesn't, one of them starts eating the other one. So as we sit here and you're listening to this, I want you to take out a piece of paper and write down your three. Don't overthink it. Write them fast and write them in a way that you tell them to a friend who's sitting across from you at Starbucks. That list is the answer to big question number one.

8:20Ron Thurston:It tells you what you're looking for. It also tells you what you'll turn down if and when that time comes. So let me move on to question two, and that is, what am I asking them? Here's what happens in most interviews. The company is certainly evaluating you, and you're trying to be evaluated really well. Both of those things are happening, but only one of them has your name on it. And what I want to tell you today is that the best candidates, the ones I have watched win offer after offer over my 35 years in leadership, are the ones who walk into an interview evaluating them right back. Not aggressively, certainly not defensively, just as an equal.

9:09Ron Thurston:Because here's the truth. an interview is a two-way decision. You're figuring out if this is a place that honors the three non-negotiables you just wrote down. And the way you do that is through the questions you ask them. And I already know what some of you are thinking. If I only have one interview on the calendar, the last thing I want to do is push back on the company. I just want them to like me. And I hear you. I'm going to tell you something that took me a long time to learn. The candidates who ask real questions get more offers, not fewer. Because the moment you ask questions that really show you've thought about the role, the dynamic of the conversation shifts.

9:56Ron Thurston:They stop interviewing a candidate and they start having a conversation with you like a peer. So I'm going to give you five interview questions to carry into every interview from now on. You don't have to ask all five. Pick the two or three that feel really right for you, right different ones, but carry tough questions with you. So here's some examples. Interview question one, what does success look like in this role in the first 90 days? And how will I know? The answer tells you whether the hiring manager has clarity on what that is. And if they can't answer it, that's data that fuels your decision.

10:39Ron Thurston:And the best managers have already thought this through and can answer that question on the spot. Number two, how is feedback given on this team and how often do you do it? You want to know if this is a place where you'll be told the truth or if you'll be quietly marked down while being publicly praised. A simple question like that says a lot about the hiring manager and their commitment to feedback at all levels. Question three, what happened to the person who had this role before me? Now, this one takes a little bit of courage, but it's the one that is often most revealing in the interview process, because you'll learn whether people grow in this seat or whether they burn out of it.

11:29Ron Thurston:And go even deeper if you want and ask, how long do most people stay in a role like this? It gives you a lot of data and insight. Number four, can you tell me about a time this team handled a really hard moment? things like layoffs and reorgs and the bad business quarter and how leadership showed up. This is how you learn what a company is really made of, not on their best days, but on the hardest ones. And lastly, interview question five, what are you hoping this person brings to the team that it doesn't have today? And this answers two things. It tells you what they actually need, and it tells you whether they actually know.

12:12Ron Thurston:Five interview questions, again, pick two or three for any conversation, but know them. Because the moment you ask a real one, one that tells them that you've really thought about this and that you're evaluating them too, the whole dynamic of the conversation shifts. You stop being a candidate and you start being a peer. And lastly, let me talk about big question number three. And have I given myself permission to say no? And I want to be gentle here because I understand that this is the hardest one, especially right now, especially for the listener I named at the top of this episode, the one without a lot of offers in front of them.

13:00Ron Thurston:I know how it feels to need an offer. I know what it feels like to be looking at your savings or your family or your calendar and hear a yes from a company, any yes, and want to just grab it. And I'm not going to tell you not to grab it. That would be cheap advice from someone who doesn't know you and isn't living in your situation. But I'm going to tell you something maybe more useful than that. Permission to say no is not the same thing as planning to say no. Let me say that again. Permission to say no is not the same thing as planning to say no. Most of the offers you get, you're going to take, especially right now.

13:46And that's absolutely fine.

13:47Ron Thurston:And that's often the right answer. But you can't say the right yes if you haven't given yourself permission to say no. Because without that permission, every yes is just a yes by default. And a yes by default is the kind of yes that becomes the regret on that resume now list. The yes you should have walked away from, but didn't. And remember that number? 58 % of people regret staying in the wrong job too long. And I'm sure you would agree, but most of them knew it was the wrong job before they ever signed and agreed to take it. They saw it in the interview. They felt it in their gut. And they talked themselves out of it because the offer was there, because the market was hard, because honestly, they were just tired.

14:41And I want you to know that that person,

14:47and I don't want you to be that person 90 days from now. So here's how you give yourself permission. There's one rule, one thing I want you to remember, 24 hours. Before you accept any offer, any offer, you wait 24 hours, not to negotiate, but to listen and pull out that list of three non-negotiables and ask yourself honestly, does this role honor and respect all three of them? or am I about to trade down on one of them?

15:23Ron Thurston:If all of them are honored and you feel good about it, go, go enthusiastically and joyfully because you got the right yes and you'll know it's right because you took the 24 hours to check. And if one of them isn't, that's where the real conversation starts. Sometimes you can fix it on the front end. You can go back to the hiring manager and say, I'm really excited about this role, but I need to understand X before I can say yes. Most hiring managers will absolutely respect that. And the ones who don't are telling you something important. And sometimes, and I mean just sometimes, the honest answer is no.

16:07Ron Thurston:And I want to be clear about something because I'm talking to people who don't have a stack of offers in front of them right now. Saying no to a wrong fit offer when you don't have another one lined up is probably one of the hardest things you can do. I'm not going to tell you that it's easy. I'm telling you that it's yours to do and that you're in control. And when you do it, do it with grace, a kind, warm, professional no, and with the bridge intact. It can go something like this. Thank you so much for the offer and for the time you've invested in me. After a lot of reflection, I've decided this isn't the right fit at the moment.

16:52Ron Thurston:I hope we can stay in touch, and I wish you and the team every success. That's it. That's the note. That's the decline. You don't owe them a long explanation. You don't owe them a confession. You owe them a professional, grateful no. And here's what I've watched happen over and over in my career. When you turn down the wrong role with grace, the people at the company remember you because they wanted you and you said no. They remember how you handled it. They remember that you were honest and kind at the same time. And I've seen people that turn down an offer and 12 months later, a better role at the same company opens up.

17:37And the hiring manager calls them first because that no delivered with grace told them everything they needed to know about who you are. Your no doesn't close doors. A well-delivered no opens different ones. The right no protects the right yes. It always has and it always will. That's the answer to big question three. So let me bring this home. Three big questions before you say yes to anything. What are my three non-negotiables? What am I asking them in the interview? And have I given myself permission to say no? None of these require you to be reckless. None of them require you to sit out the market, none of them require you to wait for perfect.

18:29They just require you to stay honest with yourself while you're in motion. That's the whole thing. And I want to say one last thing before we wrap, especially to the person without that stack of offers right now. If you're in a hard place, the job search has been long, the rejections and the ghosting are piling up. If you're starting to wonder if your standards are the problem, I want you to hear me. Your standards are not the problem. Your standards are what will protect you when the wrong offer comes in dressed up like the right one. You don't have to settle to survive this. You just have to know what's yours and know that your role that ended, but your value didn't.

19:20And what you won't compromise in is part of what that value is made of. I'm Ron Thurston. This is Retail in America. If this gave you something that you needed to hear, or someone that you know needs to hear it, share it with them who's in motion right now. This is the second of six of this short series that I'm doing. Both of my books, Retail Pride and Human Pride are linked in the show notes. If you want to go deeper, Human Pride takes this even further, where the first four chapters are dedicated exclusively to job seekers. Until next time, know your worth, own your story, and don't let a restructure write the ending.

20:13Thank you.