#294: “Good Girl” Nurse Killed 7 Babies To Get Doctor’s Attention & Sympathy

28:21Oh. Yes. So baby Andy, baby Charlie, and now baby Diana. Baby Diana was not premature. The other three babies were premature. Baby Diana was actually in the NICU because of a mistake that the hospital made. So I believe when a mother's water breaks, but no one accepts it or like she doesn't go into labor, something of that sort, it's the baby is very likely to get an infection. And so is the mother. So one of the first things that the staff do are put them on antibiotics. But someone forgot to do that. So now baby Diana had to be in the NICU because they didn't know she was going to catch an infection the day that she was born.

28:54And that could jeopardize her health. That could be deadly. so diana stopped breathing three separate times the very night that she was born she was showing signs of pneumonia the breathing mask brought her back twice but the third time she didn't make it so so far we have babies andy bella charlie and diana and the only survivor is bella and then all within the month the hospital loses another baby baby elliot and they almost lose baby Elliot's twin brother, baby Freddie. And then immediately after that, they lose baby Grace. They don't have reasons. They couldn't figure out why, what's the cause.

29:33So each baby had a different cause listed on their postmortem. So one of them was like their heart stopped. The other one was a bowel infection. One of them was insulin levels were not great. So it did seem natural, but it still didn't make sense. Even if it was natural, like it's just a puzzling thing. So Dr. B, the head of the neonatal unit, he's sitting in his office with a pile of papers probably this high in front of him. And he's got records of all the five babies that they lost this year. Five within like a month too. Okay. So it's not even like once a month, you know, this time last year, they had only lost one baby.

30:06This year they had lost five and it's only halfway through the year.

30:15It's his job to figure out what the hell is going on. He could be seen coming out of his office with dark circles just dragging all the way to his chin. When he wasn't working with patients, he spent every single second in his office trying to figure out what the connection was with all of these sudden infant deaths. It just didn't make sense. There was no connection. Baby Andy's heart stopped. Baby Charlie stopped breathing. Baby Diana died of pneumonia complications. Baby Elliot had a bowel infection, most likely from birth complications relating to the placenta. Baby Freddie's body was producing too much insulin.

30:46And baby Grace was given a 5 % chance of survival at birth because of how premature she was. There's no connection. So it's not like, oh, the water is tainted. It's in the water, right? Dr. B felt like he was going crazy. And no, this is not like the silent killer of South Korea. There would be no emails to figure out what kind of mysterious illness was sweeping the nation. it was just going on inside of Chester Hospital. So he's like, okay, this is in my unit and I need to find out what's going on and I need to find it fast. He thought of everything. He thought maybe there's something in the preemie baby formula.

31:18So all the premature babies are being fed a certain formula. Maybe it's in there, but there are other premature babies that had consumed the same formula, but they were fine. Then was it the air, the water hospital air filters are cleaned regularly up to standards and the hospital ran off city water. Initially, Dr. B never suspected a healthcare worker, let alone anyone from his team to be responsible. I mean, the very people that he works alongside to save lives. Yeah, no, he's got faith in his team. They were as devastated and as confused as he was, and he could see it on their faces every day.

31:51Each day they came into work, they looked more exhausted. They looked more emotionally drained. They looked so upset. So he pulled up the shift chart to see which nurses or doctors he could talk to when the deaths occurred, just to get a better sense of what was going on. But that's when he noticed something that was just very chilling. For every single shift where a baby died, collapsed, or came close to dying, Lucy was on staff. She was there for every single one. There were some nurses that had been on shift for two, three, maybe four, even five. But Lucy had been there for every single one.

32:27She was the only one that had been there for every single one. And Dr. B started laughing. He's like, okay, I'm losing my mind. Okay, I need to go outside and touch grass because just because Lucy is on shift doesn't mean she's in charge of those babies. He pulled up her charts. In fact, she was only in charge of one or two of the victims that died. Okay, you know, that makes sense, right? Each nurse has to take care of three or four babies at a time per shift. Lucy had other babies in other rooms, not just in the NICU. And all the babies who died or who had close calls, they were all in the NICU.

33:02So maybe it's not Lucy. Maybe it's still just the NICU. Something's going on there. He didn't want to say it though. But maybe there was a feeling that Lucy's not a serial killer, but maybe she's the curse. Because this happened soon after she was hired. Maybe she just had bad omens. It's messed up when you think about it. To say that someone just carries bad luck with them. or comes into a new place and bad luck strikes because of them, it's mean. And since he knew Lucy's background, it felt even more mean-spirited. Lucy had worked her whole life to be a nurse. She had these dreams that she was a freaking baby, okay?

33:37Nurses had saved her life when she herself was in the NICU. She wanted to be a nurse ever since she heard that story from her parents as a kid. She studied like crazy. she got more qualifications than any other nurse in the NICU. She was the most qualified, even though she was one of the youngest nurses working. She would constantly spend her off days getting more qualifications. She was only 28. Her former Boston colleagues, they only had amazing things to say about her. They all said, she's incredibly hardworking. Vanilla goody two-shoes. That's how they describe her. But still, the deaths had absolutely nothing in common but Nurse Lucy.

34:17and Dr. B couldn't help but be suspicious now. He brought it up to his boss and by the time that his boss saw the email and replied to it, two more babies had already died. The email response was not what Dr. B was expecting. Basically, they said, you know, it's unfortunate, but it's all just a coincidence. There's no proof of anything. First of all, Lucy has a great track record and all the babies had died of natural causes related to their birth and nothing else. They were all premature and most had difficult or high risk pregnancies from the get-go. Side note, a lot of people had problems with this response because it felt like the unit manager.

34:48So Dr. B Superior wasn't even trying to listen or figure out what was going on in the NICU. It seemed like they were just shutting down any ideas at all that Lucy was involved. So you could argue maybe, maybe they genuinely thought that Lucy was not involved. And this was all some sort of sick coincidence. And they're trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Or two, people said, it's like they don't want to open Pandora's box. Like imagine you're in this long dark hallway and at the very end is this door and behind it you hear all sorts of terrifying screams and growls and scratching noises.

35:23When you open that door, there's no going back. Whatever's behind that door is coming out and you don't know what it is. Maybe it's a monster. Maybe it's a speaker playing monster noises. You don't know. So they're like, let's keep the door shut. Let's never open this door, put a do not open sign on it. And you say two more people die in that process? Yeah, two more babies. Yeah. I mean, I guess we'll never really know what the unit manager was thinking, but it is just a little weird These are all just speculations Now the unit manager more or less told dr. B that there was just no way that a nurse was involved in the uptick of infant deaths in their hospital Especially especially not nurse lucy.

36:01She's the most qualified nurse in the NICU And she's the type that took her job so seriously Maybe to the point where other nurses might want her to loosen up a bit The unit manager said, look, Dr. B, I can personally vouch for Lucy. She's a good nurse. There is no way that she's connected to all of this. Dr. B was like, yes, I respect your opinion. But of course, lives are being lost. So I'm going to go over you and request a meeting with few of the hospital executives. He emails them in March. They don't even email him back till May. So for months, they don't really talk to him. But at least in May, he gets in front of them and he tells them everything that he knows.

36:39so again it sounds like he's the only one that cared yeah um him and a few of the other doctors dr j and two more doctors so four doctors from the unit cared but he's the head of the neonatal unit so he's doing a lot of the communications yeah with the superiors and the executives so he's laying it bare to them like these are my suspicions these are why i have these suspicions obviously i don't have concrete proof but like you can't tell me that things aren't weird you can't tell me that we shouldn't at least get some sort of third-party investigator involved. The conversation allegedly went something along the lines of, was she the charge nurse for all the instances?

37:17Meaning, was she the nurse in charge? No, a lot of the time she was in another unit, but she was on shift. But she wasn't assigned all the babies in every instance. no and the manner of death was all natural yeah so it's a coincidence then it's unfortunate and it's tragic but it's a coincidence the executives recommended that he switch lucy from the night shift to the day shift all these instances had happened at night so if it really was a coincidence then changing lucy's position should have no effect so in late may lucy was switched to the day shift. And it just seemed like Dr. B wasn't the only one that suspected nurse Lucy of something.

37:58They didn't know what yet, but they suspected her of something. Like the other hospital staff, they started analyzing everything Lucy did and they had been putting together these little pieces. Some of the nurses actually started whispering to each other, saying that Lucy was just a little bit too interested in NICU babies. She kept popping into the NICU unit when she was assigned to other units. For example, Nurse Ellis was assigned to three to four babies one night in the NICU. She was on shift with Lucy, but Lucy was assigned three to four babies in another unit, so not the NICU. Lucy's babies were healthy babies, and they were in another place down the hall.

38:35She had no reason to be in the NICU that night, but while Nurse Ellis is giving care to her babies, every time she would turn around, there was Nurse Lucy cooing at the babies, checking their vitals, and at first, Ellis is trying to keep it polite like, oh, sorry, is that baby yours? I thought I was assigned to that baby. I could be wrong, but let me go check my charts real quick. And then Lucy would be like, oh, no, no, no, no, you're right. I was just stopping by because she's so cute. I'll get going now. But five minutes later, it would happen again and Nurse Ellis would be at the computer updating the baby's chart and when she turned around, there was Lucy.

39:11Oh, hi again. Something wrong? Anything I can help you with? no, no, everything's okay. When it happened a third time, Nurse Ellis was very frank with her. She said, Lucy, this is my baby under my care. Please go back to your section. Obviously, hindsight is 20-20. I did see some people online arguing about whether these particular nurses should have known something was wrong. But like, really? I feel like I would be annoyed at my colleague, but my immediate thought, and maybe I'm still just too naive, was, oh God, she's so annoying. Yeah, it's like to suspect that, it's almost you have the darkest like there's something wrong with you almost yeah you you think you see people in the probably the worst life possible it's hard for human to be oh my god is she trying to kill people like that's just not yeah like to think oh is she out here scoping out potential murder victims in the NICU like most nurses were like there goes nurse Lucy is a superior is one of the doctors around is she trying to look good is she trying to undermine my position and act like I'm not good enough to take care of these NICU babies.

40:15And they would all say like, must be so nice to be so young and have so much energy to do your job and everybody else's. Like that was kind of the energy. But then things started to change. So when she started popping in on stable babies, everything was fine. It's annoying, but it's fine. But then the nurses started seeing her near babies whose conditions would suddenly take a turn for the worst. more and more stories like this they start floating around the hospital staff one person saw lucy in a baby's room alone right before the baby's condition took a turn for the worse another staff member saw lucy watching from the window while two parents cradled their deceased baby for the final time and they even had to ask nurse lucy to leave because the parents were feeling so unsettled and so uncomfortable in probably the worst moment of their life she was just hovering around them watching them like some sort of grief vampire she's like soaking it she's not like smiling okay so again it's not one of those instances where she's got like this creepy joker clown smile and everyone's like oh my gosh she's a killer we gotta do something it's just like she just seems too invested like please have some read the room social cues we call it in korean in another instance a nurse was taken aback when a baby was in distress and Lucy told them off when they attempted to assist.

41:34And the nurse said, I was shocked because I'm a nurse, you know, and I just know that you can't have enough help in these situations. I just never expected a nurse to tell me to like back off basically. Then Lucy would pop in to check on babies that weren't her responsibility and it was just generally a lot of crazy coincidences. When Lucy was on the night shift, these crazy coincidences happened during the night shift. When she was switched to the day shift, all of a sudden they started happening during the day. So everybody knew about the rumors, even Nurse Lucy. She was really upset about them, okay?

42:08And she wasn't afraid to voice her disgust. She said she had been nothing but a great nurse since 2012 and it's been like three years and these random rumors are popping up out of nowhere. She told the other nurses, yeah, maybe I would understand if there was some sort of probable cause, big or small, but the whole thing is based on coincidence. a coincidence that is the hospital's fault to begin with. And you're like, what do you mean the hospital's fault? Lucy would argue, they say I'm on shift for every single death. That's true. Lucy knows that's true. Everyone knows that's true. But Lucy argued, because I'm literally always on shift.

42:46To give you context, Lucy was a 28-year-old nurse who lives alone. No family, no boyfriend, not a lively friend group or a crazy social life. She had given up her whole life to becoming a nurse, she argued. And because she doesn't have a ton of personal obligations like many of the other nurses that had kids or elderly parents to take care of, Lucy would inevitably end up picking up shifts. One of the nurses has to take her kids to a dentist appointment. Lucy would pick up her shift. Another nurse has to go to another city to care for their elderly parents. Lucy would pick up her shift. Lucy pretty much just took every shift that she was asked for.

43:20And out of everyone in the hospital, she probably had the most shifts. Yeah. Okay, fine. Whatever. Right. So she argued, I mean, if I'm always at the hospital, then of course I'm always there when issues arrive because I'm always at the hospital. And now the hospital wants to use her as a scapegoat, she says, to cover up their own problems and shortcomings. For one, Lucy argued the hospital is so understaffed and underfunded. This statistic actually does, um, it does clear, it checks, right? And this stat really only applies to the infants in the NICU, not just babies or infants in general in hospitals, but when babies are in intensive care units, the staffing rate is much, much higher.

43:59So typically in the US and places like the UK, it's one nurse per baby in NICU. Yeah, at most. At most, it's one nurse per two NICU babies. Lucy argued at their hospital, Chester Hospital, they had each nurse take about three to four babies. So if a nurse is only able to give a baby a fourth of the time that they need, then there's a higher chance that a small problem will go unnoticed until it turns into a big problem that is too big to fix. To sum it up, she's saying the hospital was experiencing this abnormally high infant mortality rate because of their own lack of funding, their own lack of staff, and since Lucy was the only common thread between all of them, they're blaming it on her.

44:38They're using her as a scapegoat to cover up the real institutional problems at fault here, and she's not going to take the fall for it. She was super frustrated because prior to all of this, she had a stellar reputation in her field. She worked nonstop. She took, she took extra courses to get extra qualifications and certifications. She just wanted to gain more knowledge. She took this seriously. And in the beginning, in the beginning, Lucy actually had quite a lot of people defending her. Her old friends from college that weren't working at Chester Hospital. So I'm not sure how much their opinions hold here, but her friends from college and all of her close colleagues, they all said, Lucy Letby is a vanilla goodie two shoes, okay?

45:19She is so adverse to even breaking a tiny, tiny little rule. If there's like a candy bowl that says take one piece, she's not going to take two. She's just not, that's not her, okay? I mean, she's the most vanilla girl we've ever met. She comes from a nice family with two loving parents who are still together, a stable household. She's told she wants to be a nurse. She's got blonde hair, blue eyes, a big smile. She's just, I mean, her idea of going crazy is like, this is her idea of being unhinged. Sparkly eye shadow and probably a shot or two of tequila. So anytime she texted her friends or coworkers about any problems she was suddenly having at work, all of them were backing her up.

46:01They're comforting her. They told her, you know, we know that you would never do something like this. And they're just being idiots. They're just being douchebags. They're trying to find a scapegoat. It's not you. It's them. It's deplorable what they're doing to these hardworking nurses these days. And Dr. Crush was probably Lucy's biggest support system. This is a fake name, by the way. I'm calling him Dr. Crush because it seems like Lucy and Dr. Crush had, in my opinion, workplace crushes on each other, to put it lightly. Yeah. Really? Yeah. So from the get-go, since baby Andy passed and baby Charlie passed, Dr.

46:36Crush was like right there to support Lucy. She would text him during or after her shifts to just talk about how stressful her life and her work has been. He was always very encouraging and he would support her. I'm going to read you some of their texts and you tell me what kind of relationship you think it is. Because it's very pertinent to the story later. Lucy texts Dr. Crush about how stressful work is. And she texts him, we've lost two babies. Two babies I was caring for and now this happened today. It makes me think, am I missing something? am I even good enough? Lucy, if anyone knows how hard you've worked the past three days, it's me.

47:16If anybody says anything to you about not being good enough or performing adequately, I want you to promise me that you'll give my details to provide a statement. I don't care who it is and I don't care if I have to leave the hospital. You promise? Well, I sincerely hope I won't ever be needing a statement, but thank you. I promise. so when they say statement i don't think that they were referring to a police statement um well maybe not i think that they're just referring to like a a charge against her license like people accusing her of medical neglect or malpractice okay right so it's not like oh my god you're a serial killer i'm gonna give them my statement to defend you it's more like i don't think that you're in a position where you committed medical malpractice and i can vouch for that do they work together or yeah not as often but they do cross paths yes and they do work on certain patients together and he said you are one of the few nurses across the region and i've pretty much worked everywhere that i would trust with my own children she responds i don't know what to say thank you then a little while later dr crush texts her am i right in thinking you've had six long shifts.

48:30No wonder you're tired. Yeah, but it's my own fault. I have hypothyroidism, so I'm just tired all the time. Can you take your annual leave? Is there anything I can do to help? Cake? Coffee? Thanks, but no. I do think that I'm going to be going on a trip with my parents. This was right before another baby collapsed. Baby Noah. Lucy was on shift for that. Which, side note, Dr. Crush got off work and left for maybe about 15-20 minutes before he comes back with a surprise for Lucy and it's a box of chocolates. He texts her after, Oh, Lucy, you poor little thing. Have a cry. It'll make you feel better.

49:06You can take my car home if you're too tired. I'll arrange to get it in the morning. So sorry you've had a rubbish day. You really deserve a vacation after this horrible week. So that's exactly what she does. She goes on vacation to Ibiza. You said baby Noah? Yeah. Holy, that's... Yeah. There were a few surviving babies. But what's crazy is it's not just baby A through Q. There's actually a lot of parents who Nurse Lucy was assigned to their baby. And thankfully, their baby wasn't in the NICU. But they still had some sort of health problems while they were at Chester. So we really don't know how, just how many.

49:49Anyway, she went to Ibiza. She stayed there for two weeks. And the day that she got back, another baby entered into a critical condition. Baby Oliver was a perfectly healthy baby, but the day after Nurse Lucy got back on shift, he mysteriously and suddenly had a crisis. He was vomiting, his stomach was super swollen, his dad said he looked like E.T., and his veins were bright blue. After Oliver passed, Lucy texted her coworker. Oliver was doing just fine, but he got a huge tummy overnight and it ballooned. There was nothing else that led to the collapse. I wish I was still on vacation. Then she texted with Dr.

50:25Crush some more about how sad she was and how hard her job was. Now, this is what's so depressing. Oliver was actually one of triplets, identical sons. So he had two other brothers. They were all in the NICU. Oliver passed and less than 24 hours later, his brother Peter passed away. And I'm just like thinking of the trauma of the parents. Okay. So nurse Lucy was in the room, even though she wasn't supposed to be looking after Peter. And it's, it's weird, isn't it? like when you really sit down and you think about it it makes you want to raise your eyebrows at lucy look i imagine in the beginning almost every single nurse was on nurse lucy's side because that's terrifying being a nurse you've worked your ass off you feel this intense grief every time a patient passes it's not a field for the week you're overstaffed you're underfunded and now one of your own is being accused of being so negligent to the point of causing deaths in infants or going out of their way to kill infants.

51:20Every nurse probably had Nurse Lucy's back in the beginning. Because it's the feeling of, if that could happen to her, it could happen to me. I could just be accused. But one by one, the nurses had to ask themselves, is Nurse Lucy really innocent? There was a really creepy instance, okay? So I'm going to bring it back to baby Diana. Baby Diana was in the NICU when her condition suddenly worsened and she passed. It was devastating for Diana's mom in every way possible. She had gone through 60 hours of labor. And now baby Diana was gone. They were spending their last moment with Diana to say their goodbyes.

51:58And this is the part that's so unsettling. Nurse Lucy wasn't even in charge of baby Diana, but she was hovering around the parents as they said goodbye, asking them constantly, do you need any water? Do you need anything? Do you need this? They just wanted some time alone. And she's just hovering. It was to the point where Diana's parents took the nurse that was actually in charge of Diana and said, can you please tell that nurse over there to leave us alone? That nurse talked to Lucy about it. But it was just one of those things where she couldn't stop thinking about everything else that had happened.

52:29It just felt unsettling. So she told a few of the other nurses about what happened. And one of the coworkers was like, oh my God, the same thing happened to baby Charlie. When baby Charlie was in critical condition, doctors knew that there was nothing more that they could do. parents requested life-saving attempts to be stopped so that they could spend a little bit of time with Charlie have him baptized by the hospital priest and spend time with him right well Lucy went in with a ventilated box basically a box like a coffin if you will didn't look like a coffin but it's essentially a coffin and asked if they wanted to put baby Charlie in there while they're spending time like everyone else was under the impression when they're ready they'll let us know they're ready.

53:10But she barges in there and is like, do you want to put the baby in here? The parents were horrified. Like, this is so traumatic. Imagine you are dealing with so much trauma, so much emotion. You're spending your last moments alone. Your baby is technically still alive. Your baby will die. But right at this moment, they're still alive. And a nurse comes in with basically a box and is like, you want to put your baby in here? for what reasons like storage like what no one knows it it just felt really unsettling like it didn't feel helpful it felt weird so they talked to their nurse and that nurse had to talk to lucy and lucy didn't think so okay she didn't think she was being weird she texted her co-worker i was just trying to be considerate why do things like this always happen to me so now the other nurses they're getting fed up with all these little weird moments and one of them thinks, you know what?

54:03I'm just going to freaking text her. I'm going to text Lucy, see her thoughts on the matter. So she texts, Hey Lucy, there's something odd about that night and the other three infants that went so suddenly. And Lucy goes, what do you mean odd? We lost three and in different circumstances. I don't know. Were they that different? Ignore me. I'm just speculating. I think that this is weird. And I don't know, maybe some people are just not as conspiracy theorists like I am. But I feel like if I was a nurse and these babies were dying, I would engage in this conversation. I would say, yeah, why have there been so many babies that have been passing recently?

54:41Like you think that the hospital executives are missing something? Like you think the doctors have done something? Like what's going on, you think? You're saying Lucy's response was really odd, right? She was just like, what do you mean odd? They all died in different circumstances. Yeah. But I would be like, yeah, okay, now that you mentioned it, yeah, that's a lot. I don't know what's going on because every nurse feels different so the way that lucy responded it just didn't sit well with the nurses and then it happened again so baby elliot had blood coming out of his nose and mouth doctors and nurses immediately rushed in and tried to give elliot life-saving measures but baby elliot stopped moving stopped crying they couldn't bring him back his mom elliot's mom was in the room watching the entire thing and nurse lucy was one of the nurses that came in to help and try and save Elliot.

55:27So after he's gone, most of the hospital staff, they shuffle out, not because they don't want to be there, but they want to give Elliot's parents some time alone with Elliot. Lucy stays behind and offers to give Elliot a bath. His mom agreed since he had been bleeding and I don't think the parents wanted to see him with blood on his body any longer. And Lucy brought out the tub, washed off Elliot's body and Elliot's mom said, Lucy let me bathed him in front of me in the neonatal unit. After he was bathed, he was placed in a white gown. And I just remember being so thankful because we had no clothes for him because he was so little.

56:02But just like the twins from the beginning of today's case, Elliot's parents couldn't even go home to grieve because Elliot's twin Freddie was also in the NICU. And his heart rate was too high. His blood sugar was way too low. How evil do you need to be after you kill one of them and you see what the parents are going through? and then you do that again yeah i that's why i'm saying she's like a grief vampire it's like she gets off on the grief that's how that's the only way in my head i can explain even the hovering around the parents as they grieve it's like she's soaking in grief and it's like energizing her or like it's an addiction it's just so sick she's feeding off others pain yeah which is i really don't know what kind of person that would have to be because most people are generally very uncomfortable when they are confronted with such strong grief.

56:58Either they feel that grief rub off on them and that makes them uncomfortable or they don't know how to respond in a way that can help that person so it makes them uncomfortable. This is like just so against human nature. So Lucy was taking care of Freddie's blood sugar levels when it happened. The doctors tried to give him sugar water to try and help. Lucy texted one of the other nurses on shift. Did you see what his blood sugar was? 1.8. Both nurses trotted for a while about how they hoped Freddie would get better. And then Lucy said, I'm off soon. Would you give me an update later tonight on how Freddie's doing?

57:30So after work, Lucy would go to these salsa classes and then she got a text. Oh, Freddie's more stable now. They're doing tests to find out what happened. Good. No response. Lucy texts back three hours later. I wonder if it's like a different sort of problem, like a hormone problem. I hope they can get to the bottom of it. A lot of people think that this is her trying to come up with answers since her attempt at killing him didn't work. Do we know how every baby go through? Okay. Yeah. So, um, we do know it's, see the part that gets tricky is I almost want to say allegedly, and that's not me saying that this crime is up for debate or it didn't happen or Lucy's not the culprit But I want to say allegedly Because prosecutors can only speculate How she did things based on the evidence But since there were no eyewitnesses And no CCTV cameras It's just one of those things, right?

58:23Prosecutors believe that she did it In some really sick and twisted ways Sometimes she would Her favorite thing was to inject air bubbles Into the babies So you know how when you get a shot They make sure that there's no air in there, right? So an air bubble Like when you're talking about skin It's fine usually But when you're going into the vein, into like the bloodstream, air is absolutely not okay. Air bubbles in adults, full grown adults can kill them because that air bubble doesn't just disappear somewhere. It stays there. And if it blocks blood from going into your heart or to your brain, you could have a stroke, you could die.

59:00And just think about how tiny the blood vessels for these infants are. They're not even like four pounds. So air bubbles, they can kill adult beings. Think about what they can do to a newborn baby. Then if sometimes she didn't feel like doing that, she would inject air into their stomachs via their feeding tubes and it would cause their stomachs to balloon. And that's why one of the fathers said he looked like E.T. And that can really crush like their diaphragm and all these other things so that they can't breathe. There was evidence of physical assault in some cases. They believe that she would take medical instruments and or tools.

59:37she would take the feeding tube and jam the feeding tube directly into the throats of the babies and that's why some of them were bleeding from the nose and the mouth. One of the babies had liver damage that was so intense that doctors said they only saw that type of liver damage in children who had been in very bad car accidents. Sometimes she would just add a ton of insulin to their feeding tubes as well, killing them. And it does seem like sometimes she would just literally take out their breathing tubes. wow i i just it almost sounds like she's like trying whatever she can think of on these babies yeah and i imagine sometimes if someone survives she probably will try something else on the next baby yeah and like okay i really don't like to relate cases to my personal life because i feel like there's nothing in my personal life where i've dealt with that has can in any shape way or form compared to the grief that a lot of these victims and their families have felt.

1:00:39But we recently went through something with my sister where my niece was in the PICU. She coded multiple times. Her heart stopped multiple times. So like the trauma that that has left on our family, especially my sister and her husband, even now, tiny little things trigger her trauma. And to see my sister in that level of pain and Mia survived, thankfully. So It's just like I can't even begin to amount how raw and visceral this pain must feel for the parents

1:01:17Thankfully, freddy survived and the doctors they chalked it up to an imbalance in insulin in his body Weeks later, dr. B would find out the truth He would be in his office again looking over paperwork when he found something interesting Baby freddy's insulin levels were high, but his c-peptide levels were not high So think of insulin and C-peptide like a couple in a honeymoon stage. They don't go anywhere without each other. So if your body is producing too much insulin, then the C-peptide levels are going to be very high as well. If the body is low on insulin, the C-peptides are low. It's just naturally like that.

1:01:51But Freddie's C-peptides did not match his insulin levels, which means that his body is not creating excess insulin. So are you catching my drift? That means the insulin must have come from an outside source. Then Dr. B looked at who was in charge of Freddie's last feedings, and he only saw two people in charge, or two shifts that were in charge of his feedings. Nurse Lucy was the one that gave him his feedings both times. Yeah. So his very strong scientific belief was someone put insulin inside of baby Freddie's feeding bag. Every other nurse said that they didn't do that. Lucy denied it too, but just with all these other coincidences, it's not looking good.

1:02:30And then remember the triplets where Oliver and then his brother Peter died? Before Peter passed, he was in critical condition and another nurse, remember, checking up on Peter and Lucy said out of nowhere, he's not gonna make it out here alive, is he? If you know anything about nurses, they never say stuff like that. It's such a dirty, dirty feeling. Like why jinx a life, especially an infant life, out of all things? That's why there's a superstition that they don't even say it's a slow night, isn't it? Because that means all hell is about to break loose in the hospital and usually all hell breaks loose means someone might die.

1:03:03So the nurse scolded Lucy because at this point, Peter had been stable for like a second. Okay. I mean, he's not doing great, but he was kind of getting stable. And she said, what are you saying? Don't say that. But then a couple hours later, his abdomen swelled again and he got this purplish rash that looked like spider web veins all over his body. And he wasn't responding to life-saving measures. And it wasn't until after Peter's death, the nurse felt her hair kind of stand up on the back of her neck and she just had these goosebumps and it was like deja vu she remembered just a year ago when baby charlie wasn't doing well he was stable but he wasn't doing well nurse lucy was helping monitor charlie and she looked over at this nurse and said i don't think he's gonna make it out alive and she remembered how gross it made her feel because like again why would you jinx that but then she also remembered so vividly how charlie would not make it out alive and now neither would baby peter and now whenever smiling happy lucy walked by all the nurse could see was just this thick black cloud like a bad omen but lucy would be busy texting our colleagues i keep thinking of them in the cot together oliver and peter they were together yeah at one point so peaceful yet beyond words for how awful it is so sad The family all thanked me when I took baby Peter and dressed him.

1:04:25Two of the three triplets died and Dr. B was going insane. The hospital executives still refused to believe that a nurse could be involved. Mainly, they were concerned that this rumor was false and Lucy was going to sue the hospital. I'm just going to give you an example about how big this fear was for them. Dr. B sent an email to one of the executives after baby Peter died and he said, We still need to talk about Lucy. I believe we need help from outside agencies. At the moment, we're all under suspicion and the only agency who can investigate every single one of us, I believe, is the police.

1:04:55I think we should proactively seek their help. The executives responded, action is being taken. All emails cease forthwith. Basically, don't be emailing that because this could come up in a lawsuit. Don't be emailing Lucy's name because if she sues us, this could be discoverable in a lawsuit. but four doctors Dr. B the head of the neonatal unit Dr. J the one that walked in on Lucy acting busy and two other doctors they refused to back down the hospital executives they even try to put their own minds at ease by calling the Royal College of Pediatrics and Child Health so this is in the UK hence the Royal College right executives ask them review the services that are being provided in the NICU unit according to some nurses Lucy seemed a little bit uneasy when they were investigating and they said that for whatever reason when anyone outside the hospital, even if they called like an ENT specialist for the babies, Nurse Lucy would look around several times and just constantly ask like, who are these people?

1:05:51Who are these people? It just seemed odd. So after the review, all of the documents were sent off to a specialist in London and she said at least four of the infant deaths should be investigated by authorities. But the hospital still didn't do anything. They had another meeting in January of 2017 and just taking their sweet time. They said the results show that the problems in the neonatal units are issues that have to deal with leadership and timely intervention. AKA, we're not going to the cops about it. We would rather just stop accepting premature babies. That's what they say. Let's stop accepting premature babies.

1:06:27We'll still do labor and delivery, but no more premature babies and no more NICU for a while. They also moved Lucy to an administrative job in probably the worst department that they could have put her in. the risk and patient safety office it's like so ironic no yeah but at least she didn't have access to the babies anymore but it's just crazy how much the executives were worried about a lawsuit at this point you might imagine that lucy comes from the royal family themselves and they all work for her because a few weeks after shutting down the NICU the hospital ceo personally went to lucy's father's house and apologized to lucy and her father about the rumors and accusations she was facing wow how ironic dude like this is this is unbelievable this is yeah he came back and advised the other board members of the hospital to apologize to lucy as well they even tried to get the four doctors they're called the gang of four in the uk this is like the black mirror episode which one just like any oh yeah the irony of this yeah like they're more scared of a lawsuit than infants dying.

1:07:33Yeah. Meanwhile, they're apologizing to a killer. Please, please. They tried to get the four doctors to send an email to Lucy and they wanted it to read, the increased mortality rate in the NICU unit has been a stressful time for all of us. And we understand that it has been exceptionally stressful for you. We would like to apologize for any inappropriate comments that have been made during this difficult period. As you are aware, emotions run high. We are very sorry for the stress and upset that you have experienced this past year. Please be assured that patient safety is our top priority during this difficult time.

1:08:05The doctors were like, you can keep your letter and we're going to go to the authorities, okay? So that's how Operation Hummingbird began. Officer Jones sitting in his office at the police station and he's looking up at these two doctors sitting in front of him, still in their white coats, and they're fidgeting. They seem super nervous. The hospital isn't thrilled about us doing this and we didn't want to make a big fuss, but we think a third party organization needs to handle this case. So the doctors are saying, basically, we want you to look into us too. Look into every single person in this unit because we don't know what's going on.

1:08:40We have our suspicions, but we need to stop this. Babies are dying. And he explains, you know, we usually lose maybe two to three babies a year, max probably four in the past history of our hospital. But this year alone, we've lost seven and many many more had close calls okay and how can we help you with that they're like we don't think that these deaths have been natural there's a nurse that has worked every single shift that someone has died or had almost come close to dying they're like well do you have proof so they gather all of these medical documents and all the shift charts from the past year and they gave it all to the police the investigation would take one year they would have to pull medical records shift charts they would go to eyewitnesses nurses they talk to doctors nurses families everyone and finally july 3rd of 2018 lucy was arrested the first time should actually be arrested like three times what yeah the whole ordeal was pretty anticlimactic we do have some body cam footage but i mean lucy looks vaguely confused it's hard to say whether or not she's faking the confusion but i thought the reaction was telling okay just like put your mind in that position for one second.

1:09:51Okay. If there were cops at my door and I know that there had been rumors about me killing babies, that is like one of the worst crimes to be accused of, right? Especially if my profession is saving babies, I would just feel the highest sense of injustice and they come knocking on my door. You better believe I'm not fighting them. I'm not trying to be argumentative, but I would be screaming and pleading with them. Like you don't understand i would never like i feel like there would be something inside me that's like the words would be flowing out like you don't understand like this is not what you think you don't think so like that feels like more of a normal appropriate reaction yeah yeah i can i can see that yeah she's really chill she looks kind of confused but she just like follows them the only thing she really says is like oh i had knee surgery and i think she mentions it as a way to explain how why she's moving slow into the patrol car but that's really all she says we do have some footage of what happened inside the interrogation room but not all of that has been released to the public it's very short what we have and the clip starts off with lucy talking she's got her hands in her lap and her elbows are hugged close to her body she's not moving a lot she's very calm she's not saying everything that her mind thinks of.

1:11:11She just says, they told me that there had been a lot of deaths and that I've been linked to someone who was there for a lot of them. And again, I feel like my reaction would be like, please talk to everyone that's ever worked with me in the past. Like you, I would never do this. Like, please, like you don't understand. Like I'm on every single shift. Like, I feel like I would, I don't know, who knows, maybe in the rest of the interrogation, it went like that, but this was just eerily calm for me. They asked, did you have any concerns that there was a rise in the mortality rates? Yes. So tell me about that.

1:11:40What concerns did you have? I think we all just noticed as a team in general, the nursing staff, that this was a rise compared to previous years. The police didn't get much out of Lucy during the interrogation, but they did have a warrant to search her home and they found lots of crazy things in there. So let's go over the craziest parts. We talked about the notes with Dr. Crush's name and hearts all over them. Yeah, that was alarming. The nursery, that was alarming. There was also some other notes that I'll go over in length. But one thing is Lucy still maintains this narrative to this day that she is innocent and that she was escaped for the hospital.

1:12:15So just keep that in the back of your mind while I tell you everything that they found in her home. Medical documents. When authorities searched her home, they found multiple sheets of medical records for more than one baby that passed. This is super illegal. Nobody is allowed to take home patient records. Nobody is allowed to take home strictly. I mean, imagine all the violations just because you're my nurse. You can have all my medical documents hidden under your bed because that's where I was hidden. It was hidden under Lucy's bed. Yeah. Like, I don't think so. I would be very uncomfortable if my doctor had my medical records under their bed or my nurse.

1:12:51Even if the patient is just a baby, even if the patient has passed, you can't just take home these records. Authorities believe that these were her trophies. You know how serial killers bring something from the victim or the crime scene, something to remember each kill by. They think that this was Lucy Letby's trophy stash. They said it was hidden under her bed. It was almost like a sacred place because even her banked documents weren't even under her bed. Like things that most people would typically prioritize more than like random scraps of papers from work. Because that's how she tries to claim.

1:13:23She's like, oh, I must have accidentally had them in my pocket and then brought them home and then never got rid of them. But she actually moved houses in late 2015. So that means she also brought them to her new house and then forgot to throw them away. When she was confronted with that, she just said, oh, I just like to collect paper. Like I'm kind of a hoarder. It's not because I'm like looking up the families on Facebook. because that's what she was doing. Wow. I don't know how she was able to try and even look the investigators in the face and argue this, but Lucy Letby looked up a lot of the parents of the baby's victims on Facebook.

1:14:01And this is the disturbing part. Okay, this is why I keep thinking of grief vampire while I'm researching this case. I just keep thinking of like this image of someone who gets off on people's grief, like someone just standing at a funeral, like soaking in all this energy. She would do this. around baby death anniversaries for these victims because parents will usually post like, it's been one year without you. It's been two years. It's a moment of grief and reflection and love and all these complicated emotions. And during the holidays, which is another moment for families to reflect and talk about these types of things.

1:14:42She would look up the parents every so often on Facebook. And when I say every so often, And that sounds like once or twice a year. In one year, it was like 2 ,300 something times that she looked at parents of the victims. How many times? 2 ,300 something times. One year? In one year. There's 365 days. Yeah. Yeah. So it's like four times a day. Yeah. I mean, she claims that she just remembers these patients and wanted to see how they're doing just because she's a caring nurse. but I don't know, 200, 3 ,080 times in a single year is just unhinged behavior. In my very personal, non-professional, very free advice and opinion, that is unhinged behavior.

1:15:27Yeah. That's not even the most damning thing found in her house. The notes. Lucy was an avid note taker. She kept a diary, a planner, and she wrote a lot of sticky notes and she never threw away any of it. another slightly unsettling detail at least for me was that her diary was just super super meticulously organized like color-coded with different colored asterisks she had some sort of meaning behind every color every different code was something authorities believe that the highlighted dates in her diary were significant events that were related to her crimes the contents of her diary have not been released to the public but her little notebook scraps her journaling scraps sticky notes they were released a few of them another unsettling thing they're not that easy to read, not in the sense that her handwriting was messy, but okay.

1:16:12So sometimes she writes left to right while she's writing, but then she'll go in and fill over the leftover spaces in between the words she's already written or on top. Like, you know how there's lines she'll write in between the lines, a whole nother thought. Sometimes she writes words on top of words. So it's kind of difficult to pick up her whole coherent train of thought. But one sticky note that has made its rounds on the internet has been decoded and it reads in full. I am evil. I did this. There are no words. I'm an awful person. I pay every day for that. I can't breathe. I can't focus.

1:16:45Kill myself right now. Overwhelming fear, panic. I'll never have children or marry. I'll never know what it's like to have a family. No help. I've not done anything wrong. Police investigation, slander, discrimination, victimization, all too much. All taking over my life. I feel very alone and scared. What does the future hold? How can I get through it? How will things ever be like they used to? I don't deserve to live. I did this. Why me? I killed them on purpose because I'm not good enough for them. I'm a horrible, evil person and don't deserve mom and dad. The world is better off without me.

1:17:18Lucy's attorneys argued that this was not a confession, that this was Lucy writing through her emotions about being accused of killing babies and that it was just her trauma. She was having a mental breakdown. The authorities disagreed. An officer that searched her home said the amount of evidence we recovered from her home address was just not expected. Thousands and thousands of documents, many devices that led to downloads of half a million pages of information that we did not expect to find. Wait, say that again? Like half a million pages of information that they didn't expect to find from like, I'm assuming hard drives.

1:17:50Half a million pages? Yeah. Maybe she was looking up like certain things that could be related to the case. side note they also found two books that were worthy of mentioning one was never greener by ruth jones it's a novel about two people swept up in an adulterous affair dr crush vibes okay the other one is in shock by dr reina ad odish a a memoir of a doctor who suffered a hemorrhage when she was seven months pregnant and she lost her child side note i did see some people speculate online um whether or not lucy might have this is like pure speculation and i don't know how to feel about it because i don't really like speculating on women's bodies and like you know their trauma but people speculated that maybe she had a miscarriage or she had this nursery and now she's like sick and twisted and wants to kill babies because she can't have this family i don't know i don't even like even if that makes sense to me still not a good reason you know yeah like i i what i don't like about this speculation is that it might give some sympathy to lucy which i don't like it makes her like a comic book villain right right but it's like no you're just a villain sorry so somehow lucy gets off on bail but in 2019 one year later a full year later she was rearrested and had to come in for more questioning she somehow gets out on bail again and she's rearrested the third and final time, November of 2020.

1:19:17She was now being charged with eight counts of murder, 10 counts of attempted murder. So how did she do it, right? I talked about the air bubbles that were injected into her veins or into her stomach and that's where the rash came from. So all of the babies had this weird bluish, purplish spider web rash on their bodies. So it's speculated by experts that those were the air bubbles. so we would trap the blood and then blood couldn't travel. Whoa, right. Yeah. But Lucy would continue to argue that she didn't do any of that and she was just a scapegoat. The trial itself was emotionally draining for the victim's families.

1:19:56Lucy's attorney kept trying to delay the trial claiming that Lucy had trauma because of her arrest. It was just rough for the parents. Her attorneys claimed that she had PTSD so she was allowed to bring in a comfort blanket and a small stress toy to the trial, which to me, don't get me wrong, as someone who deals with a lot of anxiety and other mental health issues, okay, I'm like, yeah, I like a comfort blanket. I like a stress toy, right? But imagine the, like, who brings that to trial, first of all, okay? And then imagine the parents and how they feel. Their children never got to go home to the warm blankets that they have prepared for them the toys that they excitedly bought before giving birth yeah they would never probably the worst thing you can let her bring to the court in front of the parents it's like oh i'm so weak and i'm like a child she even looked at the jury and was like oh i have ptsd from my arrest so i get startled at anything there would be like a pen dropping in the trial courtroom and she'd be like, and everyone's like, okay, what?

1:21:04And I'm not saying trauma like that doesn't exist. You often see that with veterans or people who have, um, witnessed some sort of gun violence typically, um, is what you'll see that in. And I'm pretty noise sensitive too. And I have pretty strong reactions to like loud banging noises, but a pen dropping when you're in a courtroom and there's so much other things going on. I don't know. I might look, but like, It was weird. Everyone was like, it's just really not. It was gross. Yeah. So the killer was just sitting there clutching a stress toy because she had PTSD from being arrested. Some of the most notable things to happen during the trial included Dr.

1:21:45Crush taking the stand and stating that he didn't believe Lucy was in love with him. Lucy also testified to say that she didn't love Dr. Crush and only ever saw him as a friend. which I don't even know if I've ever written my own husband's name with a heart next to it in a journal somewhere. Like, okay, but also to do it over and over and over again, like that's not even love. I don't know what that is. That'd be just creepy. The prosecutors accused Lucy of killing all those babies to get Dr. Crush's attention. They said Lucy put those babies in a crisis situation because it gave her something to talk to Dr.

1:22:16Crush about. I don't know. I feel like it's like way more than that. Like the way that she looked up all the victim families, you know just the thing she does like even writing letters to the family getting their fingerprints and footprints like she's doing more to get some reaction out of them you know yeah it's like i feel like there's multiple things wrong with her so on one hand she gets off on grief on the other hand she wants people to almost baby her oh like thank you thank you for doing this oh thank you so much for this even the whole comfort blanket it's like she wants people to baby her in a way it's weird or do you think even like those things that she does is also just to bring more reaction out of the here's a footprint like cry more yes you see them like get more sad receiving that even the comfort blanket that would have a reaction maybe the letter is same thing it's like bring them into that state of mind she was sentenced to life in prison with no chance of early release the judge said that lucy was especially cruel because she was the person that was supposed to take care of these babies some of these babies were only a day or a few days old and it just takes a special type of person to hurt someone like that lucy did not even show up to sentencing she skipped it like she's just casually skipping class okay the victim's families found it incredibly disrespectful it felt extra gross it's like oh if i show up to the trial i can try to get the jury on my side but they've already decided so no point i didn't know you could skip that well she had to go to the courthouse but she was kept in the like the little prison jail holdings that they have down there so she's like i don't want to go yeah because her sentencing is going to be her sentencing it's not like because she skips it it's not going to happen it's just going to happen without her but the fact that she didn't go is just so gross.

1:24:12It's like she doesn't need to try and show up unless it helps her. Unfortunately, the one question that the trial didn't adequately answer, at least in a lot of people's opinions, was why the hell did she do it? The prosecutors argued that she did it for Dr. Crush's attention, but I feel like, again, there's so much more to it. I think that's why this case went as viral as it did. I think everyone was sort of waiting for some sort of motive so we could wrap our heads around it, but that didn't even come during the trial. Some argued that it was Munchausen by proxy. She wanted babies to die so she could text her co-workers and friends about how hard her life has been.

1:24:46She wanted sympathy, attention, and praise from everyone around her. That could explain why she often texted her friends and co-workers about how bad her shift was going. But a lot of experts theorized that if that was her ultimate goal, she would have done a bit more, they think. Like she would have pretended to save the babies and be hailed as some sort of hero or push them to the brink of dying and then quote bring them back so to speak so that she could receive some sort of praise and admiration others think she did it specifically just to get dr crush's attention and somehow use these traumatic experiences as a way to bond herself closer to him so that maybe he could leave his wife maybe it was a shared experience that he didn't have with his wife others speculate that she just wanted infants to suffer there was evidence that she used tools to jam it into their throats to make them bleed.

1:25:38Like that to me is just so graphic. So maybe it's the pain aspect that she wanted and she's just a sadistic killer. Some argue that she is the angel of death, which is a type of serial killer who is usually employed as a medical practitioner or a caregiver that intentionally kills people under their care. So the angel of death typically starts off by believing they're doing a favor for the patient by killing them because now they no longer have to feel pain or suffering. They act like they think that. I don't think deep down they think that. Okay. But usually this escalates to them just killing people with like common colds and like reasonably healthy and easily treatable patients.

1:26:18They'll just kill them. Even the angel of death type can be divided into three subgroups. You've got the mercy killer. These are the ones that like to live in this self-praising delusional land where they think that they're helping the sick patients. But it's like, no, they have the flu. You didn't need to kill them, right? But they like to convince themselves. Then you have the hero of death types, where the killer will endanger someone's life to save them. Usually the victim doesn't even end up surviving, but everyone around them looks at them like, wow, you really gave it your all. You really cared.

1:26:51Then lastly, you just have the sadistic ones. The ones who exert power over helpless victims. and it seems like Lucy fits best in this latter category. I mean, her text messages make me also kind of lean towards the wannabe hero, but she just didn't do enough as a healthcare professional and I think that she knew that. Like, even Dr. J was like, she looks like she's acting busy. An expert said she committed her crimes quietly. She wasn't playing some heroin. She didn't go out of her way to provoke any attention, which is interesting. Some killers enjoy killing. They like playing God. They get a kick and a pleasure out of it.

1:27:28She causes harm and purely just gets pleasure out of it. Yeah, that's what I think too. Like this is my little thought as I'm listening is I feel like she has zero care for these babies. She doesn't even see them as humans or she doesn't care about them. I think her goal is not even killing. Her goal is to see other people suffer. So the parents and everyone else suffering and the kids are the collateral of her trying to get, see other people in pain. So she goes for the twins. She goes for the moms again and again and again. Yes. Okay. The twins thing. I was thinking like, I thought it was so interesting that there were a lot of twins in today's case.

1:28:14I thought originally maybe the doctors could sum it up as some sort of genetic condition. so instead of like two separate babies from two different families if they're from the same family maybe it's genetics right but as you're saying that i'm like oh because after losing one baby to lose another baby it's probably a different level of grief from just losing one child not to compare it's not a comparison game but it's like um a further enhancement of that grief that maybe she wants to see yeah she just saw that she just saw this mom breaking down yeah and now she's trying to do it again like that's what she's feeding off on like from what i'm hearing like that's so so so so so sick and the kids are just collaterals for her to get there yeah like you know like we talk about serial killers there's even killer years later they feel regret right they're like oh this is consuming them yeah like this feeling is consuming them like she i don't even think that crosses her mind no about what she does she's just thinking about like the families, what they're doing.

1:29:15And then she wants more of that. She's not feeling regret. She wants more. Other people trying to block it out, but she wants more. And she's hunting them down on Facebook. Yeah. Yeah, it's, and I think also to go after parents because you always hear like losing a child is a very unique type of grief nobody will understand. To go after that strong of a grief. Yeah, and it's just really twisted when you think about how she was a baby in the NICU at one point. Like she was in that position, but instead of a serial killer nurse, she actually had a nurse that did their job and probably cared for her and really put in a ton of energy to make sure that she would stay alive.

1:29:52And that's the only reason that she's alive. So for her to turn around and now kill babies in the NICU, it's so demented. So as of right now, Lucy's parents firmly believe that she's still being framed by the hospital. At one point, Lucy's mom was so upset, she offered herself up as tribute and she said, no, this can't be right. I did it. Take me instead. Which, yeah. Yeah. You'd be surprised. There's actually a couple more people that defend Lucy. She's got quite a bit of supporters. Most of them are her old friends who knew her. And one former friend said, unless Lucy turned around and said, I'm guilty, I will never believe that she's guilty.

1:30:28She is kind, gentle, and soft. And I can speak for my whole friend group that we just know that she couldn't have done anything she's accused of. So without a doubt, we stand by her. I grew up with Lucy and not a single thing that I've ever seen or witnessed about Lucy would let me to believe that she was capable of something like this. I don't know. Maybe they got swept up in Lucy's arguments about how she was the scapegoat. I have to admit some parts of her arguments. I was like, OK, yeah, I could see that. Maybe not in this case, but I could see it. But how can you argue the hospital's mortality rates after Lucy was fired?

1:31:01Before baby Anthony died, the infant mortality rate at Chester was in line with the national average. then it spiked to seven a year when Lucy was working there. The infant mortality rate after she was fired and arrested went back to one per 1 ,000 births. As of right now, Lucy is looking for a retrial and even if that happens, it'll probably take another year or so. So we'll just have to keep an eye out for that for more information that comes out. But baby Charlie's mother said, I will always remember the overwhelming wave of emotion that I felt when I first held Charlie. I understood right then and there the bond and immediate love between a mother and their baby The way he smelled the feel of his fine hair on my chin my tiny feisty boy my firstborn my son The trauma of that night will live with us until the day we die Knowing that his murderer was watching us throughout these traumatic hours is something out of a horror story I blamed myself entirely for his death I still live with the guilt that I couldn't protect him in pregnancy or in his short life and in my darkest moments, I would open up Charlie's memory box and I would smell his familiar smell and I would touch his handprint.

1:32:09His hand and footprints were made into a pendant and I wore them around my neck. It made me feel closer to him. When Lucy Letby was first arrested, I felt like the first few moments, memories I had of my son were tainted. She had taken those footprints. I felt so conflicted I stopped wearing my necklace. But now that we know as much about my child's death as I believe we will ever know, I feel I'm able to wear his hand and footprints again for the first time in five years. I now know that they represent the love that I have for my son and I will not allow evil to taint that. And that is the story of Lucy Letby, the recent case of a nurse turned serial killer.

1:32:54What are your thoughts? And please stay safe. I will see you guys on Wednesday for the main episode. Bye.