#374: Stalker Fan Sends Acid Bomb To Famous Singer, “Because if she’s ugly, then no one will want her”

In short

Rotten Mango Podcast Episode Summary

Episode Title: #374: Stalker Fan Sends Acid Bomb To Famous Singer, “Because if she’s ugly, then no one will want her” Podcast Description: Rotten Mango is a true crime and spooky podcast, focusing on deep dives into dark crimes, including the psychology of killers and lesser-known criminals worldwide.

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the disturbing story of Ricardo Lopez, a deeply troubled individual who became obsessed with the famous singer Björk. The narrative unfolds the events leading to his tragic end, his infamous plan to send an acid bomb to Björk, and the psychological aspects behind his behavior.

Key Topics Discussed

Initial Discovery:
Police receive a peculiar call about a foul smell from an apartment.
They discover a deceased man, Ricardo Lopez, with his head painted grotesquely and a camera recording footage of his mental decline.

Mental Breakdown:
Over the course of 20 hours of recorded video diaries, Lopez documents his descent into madness and his fixation on Björk, planning to harm her as an expression of his obsession.
His thoughts reflect a blend of deep admiration and violent rage, particularly fueled by jealousy over her relationships.

The Acid Bomb Plan:
Lopez initially planned to send an HIV bomb but later switched to using sulfuric acid for a more damaging attack.
His method involved creating an explosive device disguised as a book addressed to Björk, intending to inflict physical and psychological harm.

Lopez's Personal History:
Background on Ricardo Lopez's life, his struggles with mental health, and his obsession with Björk and other female celebrities.
He displayed social withdrawal, introversion, and a sense of inferiority which contributed to his violent fantasies.

Impact on Victims:
Despite the bomb being intercepted before reaching Björk, the psychological toll on her and her team was significant.
Björk later expressed her sadness over Lopez's death and the fear induced by the incident.

Key Takeaways

Mental Health and Violence:
The episode highlights the complexities of mental health issues, particularly in men who resort to violent fantasies when feeling rejected or spurned.
The danger of obsessive behavior is emphasized, showcasing the fine line between admiration and harmful fixation.

Societal Reflections:
The discussions raise questions about celebrity culture, societal responses to mental health crises, and the need for better support systems.
Comparison is made to modern-day dynamics and how technology could exacerbate such obsessions.

Crisis Intervention:
The story serves as a cautionary tale about the potential for tragedy when mental illness goes unchecked and unaddressed within communities.

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Conclusion

The episode presents a chilling account of how unchecked mental health issues can lead to fatal obsessions and violence. It remains a relevant discussion on the relationship between celebrity culture, psychological distress, and societal responsibility. The story of Ricardo Lopez serves as both a warning and a deeply tragic narrative that highlights the complexities of human behavior and the consequences of obsession.

For further details and to listen to the episode, visit [Rotten Mango Podcast](https://rottenmangopodcast.com).

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Transcript

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0:00Ramble. Bada bing, bada boom. One law enforcement officer wrote on this forum about his current life situation of having to watch all of these evidence videos that are being taken in. They wrote, no, you never get desensitized to it. You get burned out by it. I mean, some of the stuff I've seen, I can't get it out of my head. Stupid things like pet names that your partner might call you like, oh, baby, sweetie, or even big boy will bring back thoughts of shit that you had to witness in these videos. And it's not a great experience. I have seen things in my life that I should never have seen. I mean, things that'll make your skin crawl, which is very scary to think about it.

0:41For those law enforcement officers, every piece of evidence that they receive, they can't just shove it away in a box or put it in a hard drive and go, OK, yeah, we've got the evidence. We're good now. They have to log every piece of that footage. They have to, in most cases, categorize the footage based on the seriousness, the violence, and even the age of the victims in the videos. There are some computer software programs to help with the logging of images, but with videos, most of the time, a reviewing officer will need to sit there and provide a written account and graphic detail of what the video contains during the timestamps during each video.

1:21A lot of law enforcement officials state bluntly, they would rather deal with dead decomposing bodies that smell incredibly horrendously than sit in front of a computer and watch these types of videos. There are dedicated task forces for these jobs. They have to receive regular counseling, heavy psychiatric evaluations. Even before they're tasked with logging such evidence, they typically go through these extensive training periods to develop the coping mechanisms, literally just to get their mind ready to watch these videos, to deal with the potential psychological trauma of what happens when they see something like this.

1:57the turnaround rate for someone in the task force like this usually is maxed out one or two years maybe three some don't even make it past a month sometimes they'll leave and they'll be asked to come back because they were really good at identifying markers identifying markers so in the video you're not just looking at the crime that's one element you have to log exactly what happens in detailed format so it can be presented in court but you're also looking for sweaters music in the background, some sort of symbol that could indicate what state it was filmed in, what country it was filmed in, what time period it was filmed in.

2:31Was it summer? Was it winter? Was it this year? Was it last year? Some people are a little bit more skilled than others and they'll be asked to come back. Some people don't even make it a month. It's that bad. The Hollywood Florida police are in a very tricky situation. They're dealing with both a dead decomposing body and they have about 20 hours of footage that they need to go through. They need to watch 20 hours of footage to understand the full picture of what has even taken place here. It was such a bizarre call. They rushed out to this small apartment complex. They found a man dead in his apartment, completely nude.

3:09His face was painted this very grotesque green-red color, almost striped. Striped green and red fully. He looked like he was wearing a mask. He didn't even look human. the entire apartment is a mess like a hoarding situation the only thing that stood out immediately to them well it's pretty unavoidable someone wanted them to find it on the wall above the dead body written in giant painted letters it's taken up the whole wall the entirety of the wall it reads the eight millimeter tapes are a documentation of a crime a terrorist matter They are for the FBI. And it had an arrow pointing to a stack of tapes.

3:49Is that the 20 hours? Yes. So if anything is going to help them figure out exactly what happened to this dead person, it's going to be the tapes. It's not something that they can let linger or wait for a designated task force. One of the tapes is even titled The Last Day. They insert the tape and press play. The man's death is entirely caught on camera from start to finish, from him heavy breathing before his violent end. And even afterwards, he lets out this kind of gasp of air, but it sounds like someone gurgling mouthwash. And they just watch him die right there on the screen. OK, we'll start rewinding the tape.

4:27They start rewinding the tape to right before he dies. And right before he dies, he had ripped the pages out of a book to make this little empty space, like a hidden compartment inside of a book. And inside of it, he had placed a bomb. He video logs that he plans on sending it, this book bomb, to one of the most well-known female celebrities in the entire world, straight to her home address. The officers stare at each other. Shit. Stop the tape right now. They pause it. Did we not just see a book that looks just like that still inside of his apartment? Get everybody out now. Get them out now and call the bomb squad.

5:31We would like to thank today's sponsors who have made it possible for Rotten Mango to support the National Network to End Domestic Violence, a non-profit organization dedicated to creating a social, political, and economic environment in which partner-related workplace and stalking violence no longer exist. They provide legal resources and support for things like restraining orders and much more. This episode's partnerships have also made it possible to support Rotten Mingo's growing team, and we would like to thank you guys for your continued support as we work on our mission to be worthy advocates.

5:59As always, full show notes are available at RottenMingoPodcast.com. Now, before we get started, a few quick disclaimers. There are a lot of heavy topics in today's episode, references to hate speech, racism, violent stalking, and self-exit. Additionally, the perpetrator in this case states that he has a genetic disorder as well as struggles with his mental health. Obviously, it shouldn't need to be said, but just in case, these are unrelated diagnoses and anyone with similar disorders or mental health struggles is not inherently violent, nor does this particular case represent communities as a whole.

6:31So with that being said, let's get into it. First of the 20 tapes, which we will refer to as the video diaries. 20 separate tapes, 20 hours long video diaries. It starts on Ricardo Lopez's 21st birthday. His present to himself is this, the camera to document his life, his art, and most importantly, his big plans. He looks at the camera. Do you want to see something funny? I'm going to show you who I am. And he, he pinches his cheeks. So his thumbs are at the edges of his mouth and he pinches his upper cheeks to make like a very scary smiley face and he gets closer to the camera and closer. I am a monster.

7:15Can you see me smiling at you? Comfort is what I seek in speaking to you. Something with um I don't know something that makes me feel better. For a long time I've been speaking into a mirror and being my own psychologist or whatever. He said that he plans on documenting his plans to send his favorite celebrity an HIV bomb because she deserves to die. So he's going to find a sex worker that has AIDS pay for her blood. Obviously, he's not going to sleep with her. He states that. Then inject the blood into hypodermic needles, send her a package looking like it's from a PR firm from New York City that's inviting her to an AIDS gala.

7:52That's perfect. In research for funding for AIDS, she's going to open up the invitation and boom, Boom, straight into her thumbs. Two needles will inject her with HIV AIDS blood. He states, I really like this AIDS thing. It's sort of poetic. Technically, if you really want to get into it, it's much easier than having to go fly over there and stalk her or shoot her or stab her. He said he would make the package seem like a formal invitation. He pretends to have his thumbs poked at one point and he starts screaming bloody murder because that's his master plan. This way, I mean, she can't not think about him.

8:31He will be the biggest part of her life. He will be the one person in her life that she'll never stop thinking about. She'll never forget him. So for the next 20 hours, that's over the span of nine months. So he's not vlogging like 20 hours straight. He will start documenting his own mental collapse until he finally, successfully mails a bomb to London. Nine months later, Ricardo Lopez would be dead. 20 hours of footage would be taped that shows his mind completely breaking apart. And he just gets further and further from reality. And a bomb will be sitting in a South London post office, getting ready to be delivered to a famous celebrity's residence.

9:10Just sitting there, rattling, bubbling, I mean, waiting to be opened. If you were to open the cardboard box, you would see a book in there. A book. And once you open that, everything would go to shit. John, the maintenance man at the apartment building in Florida. He has had multiple calls about the same thing, which feels abnormal. It's September 16th, but it's it's still a little hot in Florida. But there's no reason for anything to be stinking up the entire place. Sometimes during the summer, you get trash left out. You mix it with the heat, the humidity of Florida. Yeah, it starts having a pungent smell that feels like it's piercing through your brain.

9:48But right now it's fall. It's September. he makes his way over to the apartment building and yeah okay it does kind of smell rancid he had a few tasks that he wanted to do prior to all of this but the smell is so intoxicatingly horrendous he feels like he's gonna pass out he starts investigating which is basically just him walking around pausing aggressively sniffing and then walking around pausing and aggressively sniffing and he's trying to figure out if the smell gets stronger or weaker in certain areas right here. Right here is the most pungent scent. He looks up and he sees the door leading directly into apartment, apartment A.

10:27He scrambles to get the keys out. He knocks on the door. Maintenance, maintenance. So the maintenance stuff, they're allowed to come in without prior approval in this building to fix emergency issues, which in this case, it seems like it's an emergency issue. Everybody's been complaining about this. He opens the door and nobody's home, or at least nobody's responding. The smell just keeps getting stronger as he walks in. The entire apartment is trashed. It's disgusting. It's filthy, but not gross enough to cause a scent like this. He steps over random pizza boxes on the ground. He sees this random, okay, this is a tiny, tiny cramped little apartment.

11:01And what takes up most of the space is this sculpture of a woman's face made out of clay. it's probably the size of my upper torso it's a like a paper mache type of face or clay i would say clay yes and it looks professionally done like whoever is doing this it doesn't look like something i would do it looks well it looks good it resembles a person you can tell this is someone yes and if you're familiar with specific people you might even be able to tell who this is it's that specific in detail it's just very strange the maintenance man looks down and there in the middle of the apartment laying on the ground dead is a man's fully nude body he looks not human he looks like a monster his body had already started decomposing in the florida heat so his body is different blotches of different colors his face is painted red and green his head is completely shaved his eyebrows are shaved it looks like he put on a halloween mask but only on the front of his face but it's clearly not a mask and he's dead did he paint his own face before passing or did somebody else paint his face but why there's a giant pool of blood underneath him john turns on his heels he walks right out of that apartment he immediately calls the police authorities rush in they survey the scene and it's confusing because was this man kidnapped is this a terrorist organization because remember on the wall it said it's a terrorist crime a terrorist matter this is for the fbi on the fridge the words n-word lover are painted and the word lover?

12:31Yes. Okay. And there's one last weird note left behind on a canvas, like an art canvas that you would get at the store situated directly behind the dead body are the words, the best of me, the best of me. The authorities are so confused until one of them points out the man died from a gunshot wound to the head. It appears that the way he slumped over, he would have been sitting right in front with his head in front, directly in front of that canvas. Meaning, it seems like the intention being, given the placement, that his brain matter was supposed to splatter onto the canvas and that would be the best of him.

13:13At the same time, other officers continue watching the tapes. I mean, they're already putting the tapes in and watching them because time is of the essence. They see the dead man, Ricardo, before his passing, taking the bomb and going to the post office and shipping it successfully. He ships it all the way to England, London, where the singer has a home. They rushed to call Scotland Yard, which is the FBI of England. The package had already arrived in a small post office in South London, and it was about to be dispatched and delivered to the singer's address. But they caught it. Do you know the best way to defuse a bomb?

13:48If you can throw into the water, it's to make it explode. It's a controlled explosion. Either Either the bomb squad will evacuate the area and detonate the bomb, or if possible, the best case scenario would be to get the bomb, place it in a vessel or a robot that can handle the size of explosion that they're expecting from this size bomb, have it safely transported to a remote location, have it detonated in a controlled environment. Usually the bomb is placed under a reinforced chamber or it's buried deep into the ground. Sometimes the bomb squad will add additional explosives inside to make sure that the device is completely destroyed and no longer active after detonating.

14:30That is what the Scotland Yard do to this bomb, the one that was addressed to the globally known famous singer. But now that the bomb is detonated, the singer is safe and secure. She never got the bomb. There's a few lingering questions. why did this man from florida send an icelandic musician living in london a bomb like it's so random there's no connection they don't know each other other than maybe he listens to her music and why is he dead now i mean what was his plan that's crazy it didn't even arrive yeah but it's crazy that it went through customs that is kind of crazy but is it because it's a very different bomb like it has he's he's made it like uh needles and all that yeah it's not necessarily an explosive type of bomb yeah now the dead man's name is ricardo lopez but a lot of people that know him they just call him the bug man he's an exterminator that is his occupation and he works for his older brother george who owns this pest control company in florida which you know ricardo is not very happy about if you told ricardo when you drop out of high school at 16 years old to pursue art you're gonna end up being the bug man he probably would not have believed you because that's crazy what what type of art he did a lot of drawings pastels watercolors i mean he does seem to be skilled at art he seems to have a talent yeah oh the statue was made by him the sculpture is made by him now he's 21 and just exterminating cockroaches and flies on a daily basis, he would have these little outbursts on the job.

16:06And this is why his brother would constantly keep an eye on him. It's always been a thing in the family that Ricardo isn't the most mentally stable. You know, he's he's a little unhinged, but they try to be understanding. He would have these outbursts. I'm an exterminator, a bug man, as many people would choose to refer to me, you know, cockroach man. But most people in this world, I'd say the majority are cockroaches, me being one of them. If you look around, look around you. I'm a piece of shit, okay? That's why I'm not interested in finding a girlfriend. I'm a dirty, sloppy, fat, disgusting piece of shit, okay?

16:41But he still took pride in his work. He would say, I really enjoy destroying these fucking cockroaches. It's a pleasure for me. That and the fact that he had access to a lot of harsh chemicals because of his job. He would say things like, I have access to many potentially catastrophic chemicals. And that's my advantage because anybody can have guns, chemicals, people need access and knowledge. And I do, which to be fair, maybe he's just dealing with the trauma of having his dreams go down the drain. And this is his way of boosting his ego. I mean, I think it's terrifying, but I think a lot of his friends tried to be understanding about it.

17:19That's what his brother, George, and his friend, Ralph thought. Other than these little outbursts at work though about how everybody is just cockroaches. Other than that, Ricardo was typically okay most of the time. When he wasn't ranting about people calling him the roach man, he would have small odd moments, but they were really small. So one time he was sitting with his friend Ralph at dinner and the two of them are so close that silences throughout the dinner, no big deal. They're sitting in silence, enjoying each other's company until Ricardo suddenly breaks the silence. What if you saw your ex-girlfriend working at a strip club?

17:56What? Just imagine her stripping down in front of everyone. The two start debating what they would do in that situation, and I guess the primary reaction would be shock, right? There's another moment of silence before Ricardo comments. Just because you kill somebody doesn't mean that you don't love them anymore. this is what the friend shared he shared it in his video diaries ralph didn't really know what to say and ricardo is just staring at him so yeah i mean ricardo has these little quirks here and there i mean like a few years ago there was another incident ricardo's family had walked into his room and it was pretty terrifying i mean but also potentially amusing if they thought this was some sort of like youtube prank starting from the top where the ceiling begins all the way down to the floor every single inch of every single wall is covered in the same face a picture of the same face ricardo had taken a picture of one person and taped it all over his walls like those youtube exactly but it wasn't a prank i mean what the hell like what's going on is this the celebrity that he won't stop talking about non-stop the one that he purchased all those magazines about is that the one the cds like why is he obsessed with her ricardo would come home and try to convince them it's for an art project it's supposed to be like creative expression.

19:13But the family would never forget because it was just so strange. Ricardo would later say this was his attempt to get rid of his obsession. I mean, think about it. If you're obsessed with somebody, if you're obsessed over a famous celebrity, how are you going to move on? How are you going to continue in reality? If you think that you have a chance at dating them and your whole life is being held back, how do you move on? He has to break the fantasy. He said, fuck it. I was going to desensitize myself. I had hundreds of photographs of her face all over my walls and everything. That way I would get sick and tired of looking at her, looking at her face and it would lose that, that magicalness.

19:48That was a big step for me, but clearly it didn't work. That's not what happened because the police are now sorting through 20 hours of footage left behind. They're learning about his plan to send his obsession an HIV infused bomb. And they just need answers because this case is going to blow up internationally. They need to figure out what to tell the public. Did he send other bombs? Is this a case of a deranged stalker? Did he stalk any other celebrities too? Are there other crimes that he might have committed? And why? Why Bjerg? Why this celebrity? The tapes are only from Ricardo's perspective of things.

20:20And how much can they trust? From records, they can see that Ricardo Lopez was born in Uruguay before immigrating to the US as a kid. He first moved to Georgia, that's where he was raised, then to Hollywood, Florida. Georgia? Yeah. He was here. Yeah. But that doesn't tell them too much. I mean, the authorities, they reach out to people who would have known Ricardo when he was a kid. And they want to know because sometimes those with obsessive personalities to the point that they become violent towards their obsessions, there might be signs when they're young. There might be little clues. Everyone who knew Ricardo was very confused on how to answer the question.

20:54I mean, he was close with his family. There was nothing to indicate that something was wrong. I mean, unless you consider being very shy of crime. He's just one of those kids that didn't make a lot of friends. He liked to keep his circle small. He's an introvert, very big introvert actually i mean even now he probably only had like one guy friend two guy friends when was this happening 96 oh okay yeah ralph being one of his best friends but you know what now that they're all thinking about it he did have this thing where he was terrified of talking to girls like terrified but everybody just thought i mean he's super shy he was extremely intelligent though so i mean what is there he just maybe doesn't not interested in dating he did have this fantasy though that he would become this world-renowned artist and that would occupy his mind since childhood but he didn't become one right well he never applied to any schools he was too terrified of rejection so he just wouldn't apply fascinating he did have this small thing though where he would sometimes get fixated on certain movies or certain actresses like one time he was watching Thelma and Louise and he knew every line to that movie same with Beetlejuice his favorite was this actress named Gina Davis it's almost like he watched anything that she was in I mean anything for her he would watch it he would buy it he knew everything about her he could recite any line that she had in any show or movie even if she was just like making a cameo and had one line in a show he would know that line and he would know the time stamp of when she comes on, which sounds a little bit alarming.

22:28But one day he went to go buy a magazine with her on the cover and he realized that Gina Davis is now in a public relationship with fellow actor Jeff Goldblum. He was devastated. You would almost think that Gina Davis was cheating on him, that they were in a relationship or something, which is alarming. But he got over it, which is probably why his friends and family didn't think anything crazy about it. It's not that alarming. I mean, eventually he gets over it. So what's the matter, right? So why didn't he get over Björk? Why go so extreme?

23:10If you guys don't know, Björk is an Icelandic musician, and she is honestly, I don't know how to describe her music. I went on to Reddit. People describe her music style as unconventional, avant-garde, very diverse and eclectic, one of a kind, full of emotion. I mean, just very experimental. One person writes, it's a very emotional experience from a sonic form. It initially causes much confusion and incredulous looks at first. And then it just creeps up on you until you are utterly and hopelessly in love with her music. I've never listened to her music prior to the research of this case. I might start after.

23:47I mean, not that she like needs my streams or anything. She's massive. She is one of the biggest names in music to the point where a lot of other experimental artists, they all get compared to her. So for example, Grimes, she doesn't like being compared to Bjork. She loves Bjork, but she just gets annoyed that all experimental musicians get compared to Bjork, especially if they're a girl or if they identify as like a woman, right? And but that's how big she is. If you're in the experimental music world, everybody's getting compared to Bjork. And that's like the highest compliment you could probably get.

24:19She was one of the biggest names in the industry. She's actually a very fascinating character. Her first album, which was an album full of covers of other artists' music, was released when she was 11. She just did it for fun. It wasn't a serious debut, but she still ended up selling 7 ,000 copies, which is kind of wild. And she has this very fascinating background, which probably contributes to the way that she makes her music. Her dad is this super conservative leader of the union type of figure, like the labor union. Her mom is an activist that everybody said kind of lived more of a commune lifestyle.

24:55They called her a hippie. Her parents are divorced, by the way. So she grows up between going to her dad's house, which is super rigid, very rule oriented home to her mom's free spirited. Everybody gets to do what they want. There's eight adults living in that one house. Even the kids, the type of environment, just back and forth, back and forth. It's a very complicated background. Bjerg said that she loved and hated the experience of being so free on her mom's side. She said, can you imagine being brought up by seven grownups who all hate work and all they want to do is play games all day and tell you four hour long stories and make kites?

25:28She said she loved and hated. Yes, like she loved it and grew to resentment because when you're a child, you want order and authority at points. She said the house was painted purple. So, yeah. Later in Bjerg's musical career, she becomes very experimental. Apparently one time she wanted the acoustics of a song to sound a very specific way. So she went ahead and starts recording in a bat infested cave in the Bahamas. She went to a cave and starts recording in there. she wants to be in very particular environments that embodies the type of music that she's trying to make she once said in an interview a lot of what i was doing before was to please other people it had been my biggest fear since i was 11 to be in the spotlight in the band that i was in in iceland i even tried to look as ugly as possible so that people would listen to the music but not look at me being a woman gets in the way if people see me as a sex object it is their problem and yet there was this very very big problem a fan from florida had become so obsessed with bjerk with her music that he planned on grooming her this is so complicated let me explain ricardo lopez is 21 years old when he starts taping his video diaries bjerk is 31 years old so how would he groom her i mean that term specifically refers to the manipulation of someone far younger than you typically underage but ricardo has a plan his plan is to time travel the ultimate fantasy in his video diaries he describes his plans way better than i can because they're so unhinged but he states he wants to go back in time and meet bjerk when she's a little child why to be the single most important influence on her life what does that mean help her develop that attachment for me i go back and i become the single most important person in iceland for the fact that i I mean, imagine a traveler from the future that comes with news from the future.

27:20And I came to Iceland exclusively to see her, you know? Besides, going to the past is simple compared to going to the future. The future is, well, cryonics, the art of freezing people, right? That sounds crazy, but there's a corporation in California that freezes the rich and famous. They'll freeze your whole body, pump out all the water in your body, and then they inject like a gelatin into you. Put a different cocktail of drugs into you to help your cells avoid freezing. It goes into detail, and I can talk about it later if I want. But the thing is, they freeze your body for the future. They just don't have the technology today to resuscitate you, but they will soon.

27:54So this is the plan. You get frozen and then 150 years later, 250 years in the future, you wake up and they have a time machine type thing that's already built. Well, that's the fantasy, right? The plan was to freeze himself, wake up in a time machine, right? Then go back to the past to be the single most biggest influence on Bjerg's life. he says me being there in her reproductive years or young you know flowering years looking up to me you can change people at an early age but not when they're much older the earlier the younger you are the more vulnerable okay especially a young girl their minds are very vulnerable ready for information that's how minds work the younger you are it's just you know for a person with a plan to sort of I mean not abuse it but to mold your mind I don't know it's just you know I want her to get, I want to get her to be interested in me, you know, like, man, who the fucking hell is this guy?

28:44If I go back in time, change her life completely, and she decides to stay in Iceland, and she pursues, you know, her career, of course, but like in a, in like a different, completely different fashion, this and that, and maybe she's not famous, okay? Either way, the plan is go back in time with the knowledge that I have now, and just become, bring her the utmost pleasure, you know? She's never had any experience if I meet her when she's that young, and imagine what that could be for your first experience you know for hours he talks about um performing oral yeah first of all is he being serious or is he like just like talking out of thin air right now um it seems like this was his ultimate fantasy but he realizes it's not gonna work he doesn't have the money to get frozen he doesn't know if this is a surefire plan so he's just gonna kill her instead but this is his ultimate fantasy if he could make anything work wow okay so his plan ultimate plan is go to this company get frozen yeah wake up like 50 years 100 years later next to walt disney next to walt disney who is allegedly frozen yes oh okay and there will be a time machine built from the future and then you jump in there and travel all the way back yes to groom her yes wow and i don't know where in the timeline this is but he talks about being her very first and how he will go down.

30:08And he would say things like, I would tell her, just make yourself comfortable. Get a pillow and I say, baby, I'm going to be here for a while. So don't have anxieties about me quitting up right when you're getting started or before you're done because I'm going to be here a while. Boom. I'd probably have her sit on the washing machine or something like that because, you know, the vibrations during the spin cycle, anything that would help. And then I would just calm down that beast, you know, her sexual desires. And then she would be happy and I would make her laugh and feel great. She'd be happy with me.

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30:34You know, for some reason, oh man, I saw how amazing it was to, you know, when men go down there on women. Again, I don't know where in the timeline this is. I mean, either way, it's very alarming, disturbing in jail. But he continues. I even blush from the results from guys doing that to girls. Like, it's overwhelming. Like, man, you can make a girl feel like that? Wow, that's truly bewildering. Keep that as my weapon in my mind. You know, I learned a lot about it, especially from lesbians who, you know, are undoubtedly the best. so two things I have as a weapon if I go back into the past are making a girl arrive at the destination I'm saying it like that he's saying it much more crass through going down there and two making her laugh two of the reasons why any girl would stay with me he says that he needs Bjork to see him like really see him for who he is he states Bjork has been an incredible part of my mind it started with a crush and ended up with an obsession which I'm not embarrassed to admit now.

31:30It's an obsession. It sort of calmed down. I mean, times I've been okay with it. It flared up. The flaring up usually comes about by, you know, reading an article. See, I had nothing in my life at that point, really. I was just working and my life was pretty empty, especially about real feelings, being in love, having an infatuation. It was this euphoric feeling. I had something to look forward to every day. Her music, herself, her being alive was making me happy. I wanted to make her as happy as she made me what's so startling about this footage and i watched all 20 hours of it like at points he says he knows it's crazy but the way he talks is so casual and is so blunt it's almost like i mean this is what it is he's not like fanatic like oh my god he's just very like this is what it is i mean i want her to be as happy as she makes me like he's talking about someone he personally knows.

32:24The first time Ricardo heard Bjork's song was at his brother's house. Her music video was playing on the TV and he glanced over. It was weird. He was like, she is weird. This song was honestly, in his humble opinion, not that great. She has insane vocals. Don't get me wrong. He has to give her that. But it's not his style, which is fine. It's just like the style is kind of what the fork. But as an artist, he could resonate with her style, just her uniqueness, the fact that she's so creative and is not boxing herself into a genre. That is the message he can get behind. Anyways, he goes home after his brother's house and he remembers, oh, yeah, that music video.

33:00He gives it another listen, mainly to get inspiration for his own art because he's trying to be an artist. But he can't stop looking at Bjork's face, just the way she the way she did everything. He said it's just this mixture of beauty and strangeness. He said he had never seen a girl quite like her. At first, she kind of looked Chinese. No, more mixed. Just, quote, beautifully strange, exotic, you know. And anyway, I loved her voice. And that was the moment she, quote, entered my mind. And it's almost like she was looking for him, too, or she wants him to find out. He states that he would randomly be watching other TV shows that have nothing to do with Bjork, and then suddenly she would just appear by chance.

33:42And he would be watching this long interview and all of a sudden Bjork would be a guest and he thought, oh, okay, that's cool, I guess. I get to listen to her talk again. The way he says it gives me the inkling that that is not true. Yeah. I get to listen to her speak again and he just keeps noticing all the special things about her face. But this time it's like her little quirks and mannerisms and her accent. She's got an Icelandic accent and it's very pronounced. He said, you know, I'm completely intrigued. And I myself have many of those similar quirks, you know, like scratching and the crinkling of her nose, you know, picking her pantyhose.

34:15I myself as a child had many of those quirks of like fidgeting. And I found that kind of cute, you know? And then I learned she had a son. I didn't know how old she was. She looked so young. I guessed her to be in her early 20s. Very young. She looks almost like a little girl. No wrinkles. Very, very young. I was quite surprised later to find out that she was what? 28 something at the time that I discovered her? I was like, wow, man, no way. It's a little bit of a letdown. but he couldn't stay away everything about her just the way she talks in one interview she said I insist to be happy mad sad stupid brilliant genius horrible I mean happy I'm gonna be at all I make an effort not to forget all these different colors to get hilariously drunk and forget to pay my electricity bills and to forget what time it is and miss airplanes and run a band without a fault he resonates with that he would read what every single person was saying about her one comment reads.

35:10She uses her voice much more than a vehicle for lyrics and poetry. She communicates textures when she's singing. I saw her live a few years ago and her vocals are no joke. He states in his video diaries, like I said, it started with a crush and ended with an obsession. We humans have a natural tendency to worship. Since the beginning of time, civilizations have been worshiping either one thing or the other. The sun, we have that need in us to look up and to worship. Now for some people it's, you know, it's different things, but everybody worships something. For a lot of people, it's money. Oh, that's their God.

35:45Other people, it's sex, you know, pleasure. That's their God. People always submit themselves and look up to something. Apparently in my case, it's her. A human, just like me. An imperfect, fleshly creature, which I put her in this angelic status. I see her like a daughter. A lot of it has to do with her childlike looks and her childlike voice and being so spontaneous and cute. I never really saw her as far as her beauty. I never really saw her as elegant and this and that. She's always been cute and smiling in the way she was like, like a daughter type of figure. The most I've ever wanted to do with her, I've never had sexual thoughts about her, is just to hold her.

36:20I've had many fantasies of just holding her, just her holding me. So it'll be all right. Feeling her lungs, taking the breath of life and expelling it. It's quite a feeling. It's quite a feeling, isn't it? What I just felt right now, I just felt a rush. it's kind of silly but it it makes sense technically god had to fill the earth you know bring males and females together this is different when you look at the person and you just want to hold them in your arms forever you know i love you just be there together you know just me and her and feel that bond the reason why there's magnetism like that i mean now for anyone to tell me that that's not love they're the ones who are out of their minds because that's plain and simple because this is a very instinctual type of thing, you know, because we're animals and stuff like that.

37:05The male, the instinct has always been that protective provider type of role. The woman instinctively has more of that caregiver, the preparer of foods, this and that. When a man sees a woman a little bit like a child, childlike, helpless somewhat, he sees, you know, I can take care of this girl. I want to take care of her. He sees her like this submissive, you know, and that's very attractive. Okay. When a woman blushes, you know, it starts in the cheeks. And I always found that subconsciously attractive. Never really thought about it. She's blushing. She looks cute. I never thought of it. But flattering, you know?

37:36Very childlike. Very innocent. And then the flushing moves down the neck. And then after a while onto the chest. And that's a very sexual response, okay? Because again, men like a submissive, helpless little girl looking up to you. Even back during the Victorian ages, women would sometimes have heel... Yeah, he goes on monologues. Where? Yes. Like, what video is this? Like, number one? Oh. The introduction. Let me tell you, it's all merging together. I think this is like five or six. Okay, so he goes on. He's just talking about his thoughts. Yes, nothing is very coherent. So as he's like making bombs, yeah, he will go on his thoughts.

38:12Sometimes he will literally just vlog. He'll come home after work and then just turn the camera on and share his thoughts before going to bed. And sometimes you're saying he's working on a bomb. Yeah. Is he vlogging the bomb too? Yes. And he's talking while he's working on the bomb. Like random thoughts. Random thoughts. Wow. Yeah. Even back during the Victorian ages, women would sometimes have heels, like six inch heels or something like that. And they'd be walking on their toes. They always had to have an escort that they, you know, when they walked because they would fall over. And that helped, you know, because hopelessness is very attractive to males.

38:49Instinctual. He continues. I think that's my underlying reason for my attractiveness to her physically. That and her voice too. She has such a childlike voice. When she spoke, very sweet, very subtle. And then when she sang, unbelievable. The degrees of emotion that she sparked in me. And her face, larger eyes, they look more childlike. Higher cheekbones, right? Shorter foreheads, you know, little details like that. Her little button nose that completely drove me nuts. Oh, I love her nose, so cute. She's got such a cute little girl's nose. Also, she's much older than him. Like, this is so weird.

39:20He says in the video diaries, I close my eyes and I see her perfectly clear. I know her face more than most people do. every line everything I see her and it gives me a happy feeling when I forget you know what she's saying and when I forget what I've learned about her when I look at her I see a sweet little girl innocent that's what I want her to be because she has many many very very crazy aspects of a child and now she is all he thinks about every waking second of Ricardo's day nothing else matters but Bjerg it's getting bad Ricardo actually knows it's getting bad he would retreat into his little fantasy world where he's having full-blown conversations with her in his mind.

39:58I mean, just constant back and forth. And at first he said it was to indulge himself, but now it's become a problem. He says, she had become such an entity in my life. She was so real. Every single thing that Bjork put out, he had to buy it. He had to own it, possess it. Even if a magazine just had a small little who wore it best segment on Bjork with one picture, he would buy the whole thing. It's like the more he owned of these products, the closer he was to her. He starts keeping up with where she's promoting, what song, doing what tour. I mean, he was almost keeping tabs on all of her whereabouts.

40:27He starts writing a 803 page journal documenting his love for Bjork. 803 pages. Everything he learns about her, how it makes him feel, he doesn't want to forget a single thing. Interestingly, his journals would bounce back and forth between his love for Bjork. He wrote her name in that journal over 400 times. He mentions a few other celebrities here and there, and it's all interwoven with these monologues of how much he hates himself and he's a big loser. He made at least 150 references to himself being a failure and over 50 references of violence ranging from violence against himself and straight up murder.

41:03Murdering the Bjork? Yeah. And it's starting to piss him off a little bit that she never writes back to him because he's writing her letters. He's part of her fan club. He says, if she had just written back just once, I would have been happy. But she didn't. So this is basically the song Stan from Eminem. That's what a lot of people say. Yeah. About this case. Instead, the worst day of Ricardo's life happens. Ricardo and his buddy Ralph were out to the movies one night and they bought tickets, but they still had some time to kill before the movie started. So they head over to the Barnes and Nobles in the same shopping plaza, which is like a massive bookstore.

41:40And they start walking through the magazine aisle. He sees two magazines with Bjork on the cover. jackpot he buys both if bjerk is on the cover he doesn't even check the price he just he grabs it double same same magazine twice two different oh two magazines he buys both of them throws it into his little basket he's so excited but he has to play it off cool in front of ralph make it seem somewhat normal he just casually flips through it here and there and then when he gets home he starts really analyzing it the first magazine was good i mean she just has the most enchanting look. He says, when I first looked at her, wow.

42:14She blew my mind completely. I've never seen her look like that before. Those olive green eyes. But by the second one, things are starting to get weird. In an interview, all Ricardo members or wants to remember from this is that she talked about having a rough relationship with alcohol. He scrambles in his diary. She's an alcoholic. Big time. Which is not very childlike of her. He did not like that. Yes. Is he mad about that yes but nothing compared to this and she has a lover so at this point she already has a son yeah but they're in the print in the words states that she's in a relationship with a music producer named goldie he flies into a rage he starts spiraling in the video diaries thinking about what the two of them have done together intimately he says she broke the worst law you can break you know in my book she went out with a black man and fucked him probably went down on him too who knows she probably even got him in the back like he anal oh who knows he goes on a rant of how all the black men are taking the white woman side note he's from uruguay so he's south American okay yeah I guess it's like okay so it's very interesting a lot of people have analyzed this and I don't know if I should be in the one speaking of this but in the beginning of the video diaries he's very much white passing his cadence I guess is what you would consider more American you don't hear much of his accent and he has this like fluffy floofy hair that looks very quintessential I guess like white but then throughout this diaries he starts shaving his head and he starts letting his accent come out more freely.

44:00So it's very interesting. I don't know. Why did he shave his head? Oh, he has like a mental break again throughout the video diaries and he declines physically and mentally. So he just shaves his head twice. Just a little mental break. Yeah. Okay. We'll get into it. Oh, okay. So he starts ranting. There's less than 3 % of white women in this world, okay? But to let you know some of the facts, to remind myself, 3 % of white women in this world that are of childbearing age. 3%, that's it. And now they're dating black men? Well, he doesn't even call. He doesn't even say black men. He uses like a lot of slurs.

44:35He also goes on to state that the best type of place for him to attack, another fantasy of his, is to go, quote, shoot up a place and the best target, quote, would be a fucking rap concert. Oh my God, those are the type of people that I would love to exterminate. You know, I'm going to die, fine. But you, I'm gonna take all you motherfuckers with me. He continues. I mean, like this is a satanic thing that she just happens to be with a fucking like it's set up for me to do something. I mean, I know she's been with other guys before. You think I like that? No. But what I do many times, I try to think sex is not that big of a deal.

45:13Sex is not a big deal. I mean, sex is a big deal to me, though, because I'm a virgin. I've never had sex. I've got tons of footage of it, all different kinds. But I'm a virgin. I've never known a woman. And she she's been with a French guy. And they say they say the French are the best lovers. I mean, I wouldn't know if that's true or not. But I guess she knows. And now now she's gonna marry this black guy. And I've already told you that's unacceptable. You know, it's completely unacceptable. He claims that he's not just upset that she's dating someone, but it's the fact that she's dating a black man.

45:43He says, you know, for her, a dick is a dick, you know, but I'm a piece of shit. You know, the reason why whites are so afraid of, you know, black people taking their woman is because you know like the saying goes once you try black you ain't going back and me having seen many portographic movies yeah most black men have very big private parts that's true it's very true do i find that threatening i mean yeah my dick is about this big you know he holds up his finger to show about two inches of length maybe one and i did see because he is naked it does clear he continues i've never dreamed of fucking her The only thing I've ever fantasized about is maybe just bringing her pleasure to satisfy her needs, you know, just going down on her or something like that.

46:24Just giving her pleasure, fulfilling her earthly needs, not fucking her because I know I'm insufficient for that. OK, I have prostate problems and I got a little dick and I'm fat and I have no stamina anyway. Just like controlling her needs. That way she doesn't have to go out and get it. I've never really fantasized too much about being in a relationship because I can't be in a relationship with anybody because my emotional conditions. He says in the tapes growing up, you know, I had hopes and stuff with women. even though I was fat and this and that, but you know, I still had hopes. And then that's when it becomes apparent, my inferiority complex.

46:55I see a little beautiful white chick and you know, my type, the dark hair, green eyes, that's my thing. I like beautiful, beautiful woman, beautiful face. And then they see a fucking black man. And if one day I meet up with a chick like that and she's been with a black man and I got a little dick, it's just going to give me problems. It's very like, okay. he's so clearly racist but also I did see some netizens being like I feel like he has a crush not on Bjork but on the producer at this point like it's really bizarre she's gonna get used to having big private parts down there when I was younger I wanted a chick I wanted her to be my first and then I would be her first and you know we could be together and go against the world that type of thing but I later changed the fact forget it I don't want to get married I don't want a girlfriend and I always appreciated the virgins, you know, because I myself am a virgin.

47:47And my time, you know, when I was young, I would think I'm going to marry a virgin. Because if you got a chick with a lot of experience and you don't have no experience, then you're kissing her and you got to think, man, she's been with so many guys. How many guys has she been with? How many? And that fact alone would just kill me inside. He states that he just wanted to love Bjork and she's ruined it all by dating that music producer, which is why she needs to be harmed. Ricardo tells his little video diaries that there has been a change in his plans. He says, I'm going to do it somewhat different now.

48:18The AIDS thing, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to do that. Why? Because I don't have AIDS, you know, that I know of. And to obtain it from a sex worker is going to be very, very, very difficult, very complicated. So, you know, it'd be very tricky. Ricardo switches his plan to using hydrochloric acid instead. Still in the needle or? No, a spray. He wants to acid attack her in a bomb. Oh my gosh. If he cannot inject AIDS into her, he will spray acid all over her, permanently scarring her. The prototype is simple, a book bomb. The rest of the video diaries is of him trying to execute his new plan.

48:54He was able to get his hands on 36%, even though he wanted 100 % hydrochloric acid. But he starts experimenting with the acid to see if it'll even work in the first place. He gets all suited up in what looks like a face shield, rubber apron, rubber gloves, a rain jacket. it. It looks like one of those disposable rain ponchos, but I'm sure it's from his former position as an exterminator, right? Oh yeah, he quits his job. We'll get into it. It looks a little more protective than a raincoat, but his biggest concern isn't even the contact with the skin. He's like, it's the fumes, the inhalation of the fumes.

49:25Now the camera ends up malfunctioning, so we can't see what the results of the experiment are, but he does test the hydrochloric acid on pizza, bread, vegetables, and then ultimately a little bit on himself, all with very, very disappointing results. He says, I'm not too happy with it. I don't think it was enough. I touched it with my hands. I touched the surface of it and nothing happened. Nothing happened on the pizza either. It's just soggy. Which is how he moves to sulfuric acid. Sulfuric acid is the most commonly used acid for acid attacks. It is highly corrosive and you can find it in household products like drain cleaners.

49:57It just melts things away. On humans, it'll cause at least severe burns and then it can get even into the territory of deep tissue damage leading to permanent disfigurement, blindness, long-term psychological trauma, and this is doing it for him. He compares the two acids on pieces of salami. The hydrochloric acid, it turns a tiny piece of the salami into a deeper red color, almost as if someone got a sunburn. But the sulfuric acid basically kills the salami with dark splotches of burnt meat all over. It's going to be the sulfuric acid. He starts manufacturing his own spray mechanism. Basically, this is his getup.

50:35He's going to have hollow out a book. He's going to send letters to Bjork's management and say, hey, I want Bjork to read this script of this movie that my massive Hollywood company is producing. Maybe she wants to be a part of it. He's going to ship over this book and inside of it is going to be a hole. When you look at it from the outside, it looks like a book. But when she opens the cover to read it, there's going to be a mechanism that gets triggered and it's going to splash sulfuric acid all over her face, chest, hair, everywhere. The biggest problem though with the acid is that once you wipe it off, like if you were to wipe off cipharic acid instantly, the damage lessens by tenfold.

51:13It's still probably gonna leave scars, but it's not gonna be as bad. If you're able to wash it off almost immediately, it's not gonna be permanent. He says it takes time for this shit to burn, at least a minute to do some serious damage, I would estimate, I don't know, perhaps at least a minute, 60 seconds. Now that's the problem. Let's say I got the book. I opened it and that shit went all over my face. The first thing I would do is run to the bathroom. If you splash a lot of water on you and then you just wash it off, it's going to do minimal damage in comparison to what it would be if it were to stay on your face for at least a few minutes, couple minutes.

51:46That'll be beautiful, man. So this is what I was thinking. As soon as you open the book and wait for like two seconds, let the acid go, let her scream, and then say there's going to be a voice trigger, like a little stereo system, a cassette that starts playing. This is a bomb and it will blow up and destroy the house. The first thing she's going to do is grab her son and get the fuck out of the house. Get her child or whoever's in that house. Get the hell out. She's going to worry about her face afterwards. I'm counting on that. Of course, I'm not going to have an explosive in there. But just the fact of the countdown.

52:1420 seconds. This is going to blow up. She's going to be running out of the house. Make her spend the extra 30 seconds, minute flipping out, running out of the house, going crazy. That way, the burns are even more to be like the shit, you know? All burning up, thinking the house blows up, which it's not. and then all it's gonna do is eat up her face little by little. It's a hell of a plan. Hell of a plan. Very sadistic. Because this is what happens. Like I said, I'm not gonna let pride stand in my work whatsoever. I don't care how much work I do on this little thing. My goal, as far as this concerns me, is to screw her up psychologically.

52:47The trust factor. Just completely rape her mind, you know? Like completely destroy that. Screw her up completely. And then of course, fuck her up physically, okay? Ricardo starts sketching out Bjerg's face on a giant slab of cardboard. He does not use his so-called artistic skills on the drawing. He's mainly focused on getting her to be a somewhat believable size on the cardboard. Once he's done, he hangs up the cardboard sheet with Bjerg's drawing onto his shower wall. He uses his little canister that he's been preparing to put the acid into. He mixes water with black paint, puts it inside, shakes it up, lets it spray all over her.

53:21and this is supposed to be a simulation of what will happen to Bjork when she opens that book. It looks like someone threw 50 water balloons at a Target. It's a lot of liquid. Dense liquid. It's not like a mist. So it looks like it would work and it would be bad. It appears fatal. I mean, it gets all over the cardboard. Bjork's face, neck, chest. Ricardo steps back to admire his work and he grabs the camera and he shoves his face in the camera. Direct fucking hit. Let's see what I did now. that right there that's fucking art fuck oil painting fuck pastel fuck watercolors that's fucking art i'm fucking doing shit man i mean all over her face all over her chest especially here man when she takes that shirt off it's just gonna rip it off her flesh fucking beautiful that's gonna be fucking sulfuric acid dude i had no idea it was gonna explode all over the place so much wow that's good because any people around are also gonna get fucked up too that's beautiful I'm in love with what I'm making hopefully I'll be satisfied with the whole mechanism as much as I am with this this is just way beyond my expectations way beyond he gets excited he says the only better thing from this plan is if he can get her and her son at once her son's like five what can you imagine if I get both her and her son two birds one brick that's how he says it you better fucking believe because the shit shoots out shoots up everywhere man goes up in the air it'll get in the eye shit if I can at least make her blind give her a few scars melt her face off because that way nobody wants her but if anything she'll be so psychologically screwed up she won't be able to be in relationships anyway she'll be so withdrawn I mean she might stick to music if she has her throat intact yeah and if she can't talk she'll probably still compose music that's what he says

55:15ricardo's phone starts blowing up near maybe the halfway point of the vlogs it's the only person that can stop him from doing something like this and she's calling him right now does he pick up what is she going to tell him not to do anything crazy that she loves him that everything's going to be okay that they're going to see each other soon and she's going to hold him in her arms he picks up the phone it's his mom and afterwards he starts vlogging this whole week I couldn't sleep because I started taking sleeping pills and stuff not to think uh you know about my family because I just feel guilty as hell just guilty so his mom lives in Uruguay and his brother George aka his boss has been sending sly little reports to the rest of the family about how Ricardo is doing and clearly he sees a decline he doesn't know how bad it is Ricardo's really good at hiding it, but he sees something is happening.

56:03And he thought he could trust his brother George, but he's just been reporting everything to the parents, like the fact that he recently purchased a gun. His mom is crying over the phone. His mom is crying over the phone, begging Ricardo to promise them that he will never buy a gun again, that if he loves them, he will never touch the gun. This is when we see a big shift in the vlogs. In the video diaries, it does seem that Ricardo takes a step back from his plans. His mom does seem to have an effect on him where she can kind to somewhat bring him back to reality. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's still fully infatuated with Bjork, but it's almost very briefly seems like even he himself realizes how bizarre his plans were.

56:40He's trying to at least see things in a reasonable, rational manner. He vlogs, you know, I put it into balance. Who should I dedicate my attention to? My mother or a complete stranger? Of course, my mother. I put it into more perspective now as far as my plans that I had with her. Notice how I use the word had? It has been temporarily postponed. Why? Well, partially because I'm worrying about my mom right now. But my first attention is my mother. As a matter of fact, in a couple of weeks, I'm going to be visiting her in Uruguay. On top of that, after talking to his mom, he rented. Yeah, the timing is very strange.

57:12He rents a DVD of 14 guys having intimate relations with one woman all at once. He said that video put the world into perspective for him. You know, it's calming him down. Watching that video over and over and over again is making him realize that he doesn't have to be angry about bjerk being with a black man i mean at the end of the day sex is sex no and this woman in the video was with a black man with an asian man with all sorts of men and he's just losing all the initial anger that he felt because he says i was very pissed off at the beginning but she's a grown woman and sex is not anything you know in this world everybody has sex if it wasn't sex i wouldn't be born and besides you know it being with a black guy.

57:51I mean, after seeing that video with all the different colors and all that, it's all the same thing. So it doesn't really bother me anymore. And I'm glad. I'm glad I didn't think I could change. But I did. So now what to do with all the recordings I made about, you know, my plans? I can't destroy them. But it is a liability to have those because one day, if for whatever reason somebody sees those, I'm fucked. I'm fucked. He starts thinking about getting rid of his tapes, which is a good sign. This whole plan is about to get scrapped. He's almost in a cheery mood saying things in the video diaries like, I want to make all the women in the world happy.

58:25I want to make my mom happy. I want to make her happy, happy, feel happy, happy, happy. My mom is very worried about me. You know, she hasn't eaten in days. I haven't drank hardly anything. Dad was even crying a little asking me if I wanted to move over there with him and all I needed to do was find a job to pay for food. Don't worry about shelter. I can live with him. You know, they're under the impression that I'm having a hard time over here financially but i'm not i wonder if the parents thought that he's about to do something to himself yeah right okay so they didn't think that he's about to hurt someone else no no no and a series of incidents start taking place that turns this whole thing around and almost speeds it up ricardo gets into multiple fights with his brother he gets very lazy at his job and he quits his job in anger So now George, his older brother, is no longer going to be the one keeping tabs on him.

59:17And Ricardo feels like his life is over. He's got no financial means. He has no contact with the outside world. He is going to be able to live on$2 a day on food. He has no cable, no TV, no phone service because all of those are getting cut off. He's about to get evicted. He has nothing and nobody and no backup plan except his plan. So he just casually vlogs again with his hair shaved. I'm going to do it. he starts ranting she was the chain that was holding me to this world besides my mother i mean that sounds horrible but the chain with my mother is because i feel debt to her you know i owe her but with bierke it's not like that i have this link that's love anyway this link that was holding me to earth each day is gone is what i'm doing an act of vengeance i'm not exactly sure but i'm gonna destroy her god damn it you know hey i wasn't i wasn't asked to be a part of this that's the problem with having kids this is the problem the people have kids for selfish reasons for selfish reasons people avoid childbirth control for selfish reasons okay and you have to ultimately pay for every mistake that you make that is the problem with having kids wait what about kids he's basically saying this is his parents fault you can raise them the best you can and this and that and they can end up all screwed up like me okay i could be a lot worse but i'm gonna bring my parents and family a lot of pain a lot of shame but i was not asked none of us are asked to be brought into this world it's it's a crime it's a fucking crime to bring children into this world and you shall pay for it with pain and suffering.

1:00:42We live in a world full of monsters. Do you understand that? A world of monsters. It belongs to the monsters. And I'm going to die with the monsters. I'm going to die a monster. I'm not going to die an innocent man. And I held up as long as I could. My original plans were for my parents to die and then for me to do this shit. But hey, things change. Things change, you know? I mean, this is going to destroy my family. This is going to be a skeleton in their closet. But I can't live for them. If I'm going to live, I have to live for myself. I can't do this. I can't be alive to please others. It's not going to work.

1:01:12I'm too selfish for that. So, I mean, I'm sorry, but hey, I got to do what I got to do. So he finishes creating his acid bomb and takes it to the post office to ship it. He brings a gun with him just in case because he states he cannot get caught. He would rather die than go to prison. He says he is successful in shipping the package. So other terrifying moments from the footage include him making comments about his body. He talks about how he has an extra X chromosome and one in every like 1 ,200 people have it. And most of the time, people don't even know they have it. But some people have symptoms and his symptoms included enlarged breasts.

1:01:52So he's stating even when he is thinner, he has large breasts. He just has a lot more breast tissue that becomes fattier. Yeah. So at one point, he is ranting about that. He also holds up a giant power tool and he states that he can't use it though because his neighbors are going to hear the power tool. And he comments, this is like me having a big dick. It would just be pointless. I still can't use it. In another segment of the video diaries, he's rubbing his eyes, stating that he has all these allergic reactions to the chemicals that he deals with on a daily basis as an exterminator. And he comments, scratching, oh, the pain hurts.

1:02:26My body is sending endorphins. You know, like the expression, oh, it hurts so good. A lot of that can be applied to sex too, especially for women. They're getting around, you know, and it hurts for some, but it feels so good because of the endorphins. There's another point in the video diaries. He starts talking about how he was on the road and he saw a car that flipped over three times and crashed. He and his friend pulled over and they see a bunch of girls get out of the car, maybe in their 20s. One of them had a busted lip. The other one had a broken ankle, had blood from her head. So they stopped to help and wait for the police.

1:02:57One of the girls was clearly in shock, major shock. She looked good, but she was in shock. Not like good, but like she looked okay. Okay. She's sitting down and he could see the outline of her private parts through her tights. And he said, I'll be frank with you. I was not sexually turned off at all by the blood. That's all he gives us. He also mentions that he ran out of toilet paper, so he has to go back to using his hand. He also mentions how he is his worst enemy and he just needs the bomb to be mailed to London and he is able to successfully do that, if you will. but none of it matters because it will be traced back to him and he knows it he knows he cannot outsmart the fbi nor does he want to he just knows he needs to get it to bjerg ruin her and then he's gonna die he says if they come bust down the door and arrest me i go to prison i get fucking raped i become a fucking bitch in prison okay i can't let that happen i'm not gonna survive at all in prison he starts preparing for his death he says one final message to bjerg he says Dear Bjork, everyone's safety depends principally on the fact that nobody wishes to kill them.

1:04:03We have come to depend on what we have called the goodwill of civilization. But Agatha Christie says murder is easy. It's unfortunate that we live in a world of monsters that wish nothing more in their hearts than to strip you of every possible joy in your life. So thus I introduce myself to strip you of every possible joy in your life. I intend no lesson to be taught. I have little insight, no ideas, no solutions that can make any difference. I just want to make you cry. I really doubt any success in this attempt. This was, but just my low risk mission. I am though ready to embark on my last attempt.

1:04:38Your death was not my intention. What you will give me is your pain in exchange for my family's despair of my death. My death is really less related to my obsession with you. It's my unwillingness to partake in this world for various reasons. My mission though is related to you because it is my last joy. Honestly, your only mistake was having caught my eye I really should not blame you for not being what I wanted you to be You being a mother, there is nothing more than I could take from you than your son's innocence I would jump at the chance of disemboweling your son Slowly hammering his kneecaps into a bloody pulp in your presence Tear into his flesh to consume his flesh to become one with his flesh To enter new worlds with your pain becomes my sacred key While I am a realist though, I will just bury a bullet in his head It's easier I'm not crazy.

1:05:25I just pretend to be. I want her to stay and suffer. There's no point in me destroying life because what? It's over then. No more pain. There's no more satisfaction I can get from that. Alive, maimed, all fucking destroyed emotionally. Okay, it's so much more. A much sweeter revenge, you know? The French say that revenge is the dish best served cold. You know what? Oh man, it's a dopamine rush every time I think about it. Every time it's because of the revenge factor. It's an alleviation of the pain. So it's a joy or alleviation of pain That's basically the purpose of life To get dopamine rushes and avoidance of pain So I want to do this It's not because I have to It's not because you know all the voices are telling me to Or God told me to Or my dog told me to Or demons have spoken to me I want to I am in complete control of the situation No one else My mind Me Myself I don't know what he said Me either But remember how he shaved his head through the video diaries Well now all He wants to fully get rid of all the body hair on his face and head He uses a pair of scissors to cut hair off of his head, which takes just as long as you would imagine.

1:06:27A very long time. He uses the scissors to cut off his eyebrows. Honestly, he looks very terrifying. And I'm sure it has a lot more to do with the fact that he keeps like demonically making faces at the camera after this. He doesn't talk much in the very last tape. He just slowly starts using face paint to draw red zigzags over his face. Like an artist doing a new project, he takes his time and he uses a small, small paintbrush. and then he uses the green to fill in the other marks like a stripe is there a reason meaning yes so he oh also he paints his nipples red he says that it's gonna help his family he says like this way if george finds me you know it won't be that much of a shock it'll be a depersonalized type of thing because i look weird as fuck and i hope that'll be a coping mechanism for him so i'll look just so unrealistic and unlock myself so that should help i mean i do feel really sorry for their pain sometimes but i don't think so i think this is like his way of trying to be artistic and weird he sits down and he plays his favorite bjerg song called i remember you and starts preparing himself he starts breathing very very heavy a lot of netizens have stated that at this moment it almost seems like like he's having a battle in his mind where it almost appears that reality is fighting to take over and there are moments where it seems like he's about to pull himself out of his bizarre plans and his fantasy and perhaps come back to reality but alas he does not he starts breathing very heavy almost like he's hyperventilating and then he self-exits at the end you hear his body make one last breath it's like a gurgling noise ricardo's family were notified of his death and they knew he had been struggling with his mental health, but it had been that way for most of his life.

1:08:17But because he had recently been seeing a therapist, he had sought out a therapist. He made the initiative to get help. They thought things were looking up. So side note, during all of this, Ricardo was seeing a therapist. And to be fair, the therapist did not notice anything alarming about Ricardo's behavior. And I don't think this was a case of a therapist or a family being totally negligent. But Ricardo sought out professional help just so he could get prescribed anti-anxiety medications because he didn't want to feel anxious about his plans. He didn't want to feel anxious when he went to the post office to mail the bomb.

1:08:46None of them knew how bad all of this had gotten. I mean, he was pretty secretive about it. They were constantly checking up on him, his family, and he vlogged about it. Like they would come check up on him and he would have to hide all of his supplies. It does seem like they did make as much effort as they could with their current situation and their own personal lives going on. So one group of people think that Ricardo is a very sick man that tried to talk through his very confused feelings and thoughts to a video camera, that ultimately he was sick and troubled and he needed help. Some people stated that they can't help but feel bad for him.

1:09:22Another group of people believe, yeah, okay, he's very clearly a sick man. We feel sympathy to a degree, but why do sick men keep victimizing other people? Like why do people always have to become victims when a man is sick in the head. I mean, you could argue there's lots of sick men. There's lots of sick women. There's lots of sick people everywhere. They don't send acid bombs to their favorite celebrities because they're sick. Yeah. I mean, what are your thoughts? Which group are you in? Because even though the acid bomb was intercepted, it did not physically hurt anyone. I'm sure the harm was done to Bjerg and her team.

1:09:54She made a public statement afterwards where she stated, I was very upset that somebody had died. I couldn't sleep for a week and I'd be lying if I said it didn't scare the fuck out of me, that I could get hurt and most of all that my son could get hurt. But she still sent flowers to Ricardo's family because they too lost someone special. So it does seem like everyone is agreeing that Ricardo's family did try. It doesn't seem at all like they're just like this negligent family that was like, okay, whatever, you go hurt people, we don't care. She said, I just find it very sad that people get into that kind of state, you know?

1:10:27well I'm very upset obviously soon afterwards she had a new song come out called so broken she stated she created it while she was dealing with the trauma in her kitchen she was just in her kitchen all day dealing with the PTSD and the lyrics go so broken in pieces my heart is so broken here I would go trying to run ahead of that heartbreak train thinking it will never catch up with me I'm so broken I'm trying to land this airplane of ours gracefully but it seems like I'm just destined to crash I'm not sure if this fact changes anything or would have changed the sequences of events but a day or two before Ricardo dies Bjork and Goldie, her boyfriend, had broken up obviously it has nothing to do with Ricardo neither of them knew of him at this point but it just hadn't hit the press yet again, I don't think it would have changed much I truly don't think that Ricardo was doing all of this because Bjork was dating a black man I feel like it might have only stalled things his obsession might have even grown bigger until she inevitably does another thing that he does not, quote, approve of.

1:11:25Now, side note, the package was in South London on route to Bjork's address, but it would have never gotten to Bjork. She has a whole management team that filled her packages first. So unfortunately, it could have severely injured or killed someone on her team that was just doing their job. And thankfully, it was caught before it got to that point. On top of that, Bjork wasn't even in London at that point. She was actually in Florida, in the same state as him. And that is the story of Bjerg's stalker. What are your thoughts? You know, it's terrifying. I wonder, like he can't be the only one, right?

1:12:03And I also wonder, you know, this happened in 96. What would he be like today? Because things are so much more connected. You can find like a million times more information about someone on the internet. Like, does that make things so much worse? Or is there more help to be found through online communities? Or is it just going to be so much worse? I think so much worse. Because the way that he was obsessively somewhat tracking her, I think that he didn't know that she was in Florida because there was a delay in the news cycle. But I wonder if this was happening in today's age, if he knew, would things be different?

1:12:44Right, right, right, right. Yeah. Terrifying. So please be safe out there and I will see you guys in the next one.

From the publisher

This was probably the strangest call the Hollywood police received.

A foul stench coming from an apartment unit. A dead man is found with his head painted green and red. He didn’t even look human - he looked like he was wearing a mask.

But in front of him is a tripod set up - with a camera. Someone had filmed his death. In fact, someone had filmed 20 hours of this man losing his mind. His mental collapse.

20 hours of footage that shows him slowly losing touch with reality and start living fully in his fantasy world. His ultimate fantasy?

Send one of the most famous singers an acid bomb. Because if she’s ugly. Nobody will want her anymore. She will come crawling to him - her biggest fan.

Full Source Notes: rottenmangopodcast.com

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