Hating Arsenal with Flav | Mum Jokes, Roast Dinner Crimes & Radiohead (Q&A)

21:30Jack:is it like remember when Keown did that thing to Rud van Nistelro before jumping up at him yeah I'd imagine so I think yeah I think he look it's about being arrogant right it's being arrogant with it I think if we get if we 3-0 I'll be properly pretty much on top I reckon any kind of win will be great and the moreover is what it means for them because this is if we stop them from winning or in a dream world we do win and we can win right don't get me forget the fact that we've only won there twice since it opened we are we are we are set up to frustrate and hurt Arsenal. It's just a question of whether or not it can be done with Richarlison up top.

22:22He needs to play out of his skin. He's got to have a worldie. And it's not just that we know he's going to work hard. We know he'll pressure. We know we do all those things that he's supposed to do. And you have to commend him for that because there's some players that would, in moments of frustration, probably not apply himself in the way that Richarlison does. It's not his application or his attitude. He's great at that. And he should be applauded for that. It's just the lack of quality. And so he needs to have one of these games where the ball sticks to him a little bit and he finishes his opportunities.

22:51And we've seen him have those games as well, right? So yeah, if we can get two or three, if we somehow win 2-0 or 2-1, 3-1, I mean, I'd love to walk into the overlap studios then. Whoever, whatever. Which one would you give it to?

23:06Jack:I always see this one on there sometimes now. Massive, like brick shithouse bloke, big ball bloke. Yeah, he's a huge... So he's not on there anymore. We haven't used him as much. He's not great, to be honest. They really struggle to find a decent Arsenal fan to represent the football club for obvious reasons because you've got to be a bit of a gorm if you support Arsenal. But the weirdest one, I can't even remember his name. He's got a weird name. He's like this. You all know him. He was like a... He's a young lad and he does these sort of motivational speeches for Arsenal players before a big game.

23:43You know, he makes videos about it, sitting on the steps outside the Arsenal stadium, doing this really kind of empowered message.

23:51Jack:Is he that guy that looks like an estate agent? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I don't know who you mean. He does. I think it's a pinot or something. I can't remember his name. And I thought, I think you're a cock before he comes on. But often you meet someone, you're like, oh, no, they're not a cock. I met him and I was like, yeah, he's still a cock. And the thing is, what got to me is when he was saying, we know the Arsenal team's good enough. We know, you know, the money that's spent. We know the tactics work. But do they want it? Do they want it? And I'm like, listen, you're fucking 22. What the fuck are you talking about?

24:30These are elite performers that are playing at a level that you couldn't even contemplate. You wouldn't know what to do on that football pitch, right? I'm not saying as football fans, we can't pass comment, but you definitely can't question their integrity or their desire to win a football match. They wouldn't be playing at that level. But it's this kind of like cliched way of talking about it. Yeah, they're great, but do they want to win? It means nothing. What's really pissed me off this week, and it pissed me off a lot, is football fans just can say what they like. They can just say what they like and there's never anyone coming back at them going, you have to justify that or that hasn't worked out.

25:11They can just say what they want, right? Like, case in point, the entire stadium, it felt like, was booing Thomas Frank's substitution of Xavi Simmonds against Manchester United.

25:25Jack:I think I tweeted at the time, that's it, that's the moment, that's his Lucas Moura moment. He's got to go. Right, right, right. And we scored two goals. so we're not then going because there's no noise you can make to apologize because that's what should have happened he got it right he got it right and that's just the microcosm of what i'm trying to say is that you have these shows and we make these podcasts and we say these things and we don't have to back up what we say and we just spew into a mic and um and and you know maybe you know questioning a player's desire to win when you know you're 22 years old you don't know your ass from your elbow is it was a little bit too much for me and i winced when he said it i didn't say anything it's rude in it ollie whitefoot um says this is on blue sky he said you wallop the scum four nil this weekend but every day for a whole week after when walking down the stairs you tread on a nail think marvin home alone you heal and forget this every night so you can't prepare yourself would you accept absolutely without yeah you have to a bit of physical pain if if someone said you could win 4-0 but you you had a car accident and you've got a compound fracture and have to be cut out of a wreckage i might contemplate that what about uh what about something testicle related would you give a bollum yeah you know I've won.

26:55Jack:You know when you... Remember when you... Well, you've just become a father. So it's a question for you. The magic you're feeling at the moment, Jack, and child's feeling. I'd imagine that ball would be quite more important to you than... I've got another one, though. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. There's another one. Both balls. You become a eunuch. Do you remember when you were younger, you'd do stuff like PSHE at school and all that, like social health and all that type of thing. Yeah, yeah. And they'd always tell you stories. I think the generation above us, right, they always go on about these 1970s scary adverts, like kids crossing train lines and all that type of stuff.

27:34Jack:They were scary. They were, but they were sort of, for us, there was always a sort of, there was a veil over it because it was just that bit older. It was harder to relate, you know, because it would be Kevin Keegan walking on, you know, with a big perm. Yeah, yeah. And then you have a kid sort of climbing into a power station and then getting electrocuted. and you're like i've never i would never have done that anyway but but for us it would be like i always just remember there'd be like leaflets and there'd be leaflets with like scenarios in it and i always remember this one where it was talking about a boy who had a twisted testicle and didn't want to tell anybody because he was too embarrassed and then like i don't know it went gangrene or something like that so it was one of these kind of like lads check your bollocks type yeah things Don't be ashamed.

28:20Jack:But they always had to just put it up in this scary way. It's like we hadn't left it. You know, like today we talk about kids being snowflakes and everything's woke and stuff, but it's like I feel like today at least messages about how people feel and the way their bodies work and stuff just get communicated in a way that's actually quite constructive and quite healthy. Yeah, yeah. Do you think that the sort of issues with male suicide, right, three and four suicides of men, biggest killer of – men under 45 suicide right more than anything else might be down to the way communication was done when we were kids and our parents before them because now you're very it's about talking about your emotions and it's okay and you're not a fairy if you're a man if you you want to talk about how you feel but you're right it was just fear all the time when we were kids like do you remember the aids adverts in the 80s yeah big like tombstones and stuff i was like firstly it was like I thought well as long as I mean back then the messaging was this is a gay disease right this is what they said so I'm like well I'm not gay so I'm all right and then as you get older you realize actually fucking hell it's nothing to do with that at all but the AIDS adverts were terrified there was this huge monolithic word that said AIDS and then something like AIDS kills and the massive monolith falls down and hits the floor and you're like, I am never getting my dick out.

29:48Never.

29:49Jack:You did though, didn't you? You little pig. Too much with anything. Do you see, I did think of you the other day when Trump called the reporter Piggy. Sort of, you recorded him with Ricky. The Piggy footballers. Yeah. You don't get them anymore. This is the thing. The game's become so professional, isn't it? No, Thomas Brolin's anymore. Brodin was a, I mean, he was almost too picky. He was good. He was a baller though, wasn't he? Yeah, he was good. He was good. Piggy. Edin Hazard's piggy nowadays. Yeah. What happens with them players that they just got, they're just too, they're so good. Can you imagine that?

30:29Jack:Like you were talking about, like with the lad, you have to be like, Harry Redknapp touched on it once, didn't he? He said like, you know, these lads are Ferraris and you don't put diesel in them. And so you can imagine like playing at that level when every single metric is tracked, your heartbeat, your waist, all your measurements, everything. It's all scientific, isn't it? Every single footballer is Ivan Drago nowadays, right? And you can imagine as soon as they retire, they're like, I'm going to have some chips. Like, yeah, I am going to have chips in my dinner, you know? Yeah, it's like the boxers that balloon up.

31:04Of course, how horrible it has been. Like, weight drain battered for 12 rounds and you can't eat your burger. Yeah, no, of course, you peak at a certain age, a certain skill level as well for most. The desire to be great that Ronaldo and Harry Kane have late into their 30s is a rare thing.

31:24Jack:A bit weird. You're 42 now, aren't you? 44. You're 44? Oh, mate. You're at the... You know, they say, 44 is like the last... It's like the last gate that you pass through. so they said you're supposed to like prime yourself for arriving at 44 for like health and all that type of stuff so but you're in good nick no you did your swimming and all that didn't you so yeah i mean i need i need to do a lot of things really but i didn't is that it really so it's all downhill from there i think that's just i think so it's a mindset isn't it maybe yeah i've got a uh yeah yeah cheers do one of those do one of those meat diets though jordan peterson and all at i i um i am thinking of kicking the booze again next year it's hard though man isn't it it's hard fucking boring man it's hard good having a drink it's great it's the best thing in the world well yeah well while charlotte's pregnant for the most part i was like solidarity i was like oh no i'm not i'm not gonna do that no no she didn't she wouldn't ever ask anything like that but that's quite that's quite woke of you she well it's because you know it's one it's You know this, Flav.

32:33Jack:When you sat there with your wife watching TV, it's nice to have a bottle of wine, right? It's one of those great pleasures in life, sat there having a bottle of wine. It's a nice experience. It's not just about the booze. It's the whole experience. And the thought to me of like, I can't sit there and just have a glass of red just on my own. Do you know what I mean? Just get smashed. You're doing a great job, darling. You're doing a great job. Do you know what I would do? My missus did it. I would get the bottle of whiskey. I would stare at her in her face, and then I would just pour the whiskey as I stared at her in the eyes.

33:00Jack:Grunting. another one uh well like she she didn't when i i didn't drink for four months at the start of the year i did four complete months and uh she probably did you good though yeah i felt i felt incredible flush i felt i felt i felt so good i felt like literally five six years younger 10 years younger maybe and um but she just carried on drinking she didn't do it oh sorry sorry she's pouring herself another glove it's all right do you mind do you mind it's half the glass is full there's this lovely big like ice cubes clanging about in the glass and stuff hot summer day you know i don't see i don't i never used to i never um i never looked at her and thought i wanted a drink when i've made a decision that sort of influence stuff doesn't really get to me weirdly as well i know we're off topic now but i don't i don't have no desire to smoke cigarettes when i'm not drinking i i'm from the minute i take a sip of alcohol i want to smoke but in that four months i didn't have a single cigarette and nor did i have any desire to smoke cigarettes so what is that in your brain is it just that you've made the connection to alcohol cigarettes and that's the thing as a group and you need both things because there are people that smoke and don't drink but cannot stop smoking whereas i don't have any desire to smoke unless i'm having a drink it's weird do i genuinely wasn't just the addiction i used to i used to love a fag i used to love a rollie though i used to like roll ups a little get myself a nice little fresh pouch of Golden Virginia.

34:27Jack:Oh, yeah, that's the best. Sit out in the morning, coffee, cigarette. Oh, I loved it. So I walked down the street and I see someone smoking at like half eight. I think you'd fucking disgust me. Yeah, degenerate. You fucking freak. Sort your life out, you know. Yanis Costa Rasmussen says, would you take Arsenal forever and ever playing the most indisputably breathtaking football in the world, scoring the highest number of goals, selling the most replica shirts, etc. If it meant they would always lose to us in the Cups and always finish one point below us in the league. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

35:10Shout out to Giannis as well, man. He's a good lad. He is a good lad. Yeah, yeah. Hang on, is he talking to you as well? Yeah, well, you know. What, DMs is that?

35:19Jack:No, I don't get that. Oh, I don't get that. Okay, I get a DM. Yeah, no, he's actually designed stuff. He produced a guide to Copenhagen. Did he send you one of those? He hasn't done, no. Hang on, so he's another one of Martin Nesbitt's monk killers, then, is that what he is? Monk shaggers, yeah. Didn't do very well the other night, did they? Yes, sir, we can bugger. But I need a sardine song. That kind of went a bit there in my Scottish accent. Oh, was that a Scottish accent? Yeah, that's supposed to be. Was it English? Well, because that's what they sing. They sing that, We can boogie, boogie, boogie, all night long.

36:02Jack:Now I can call it Scots, lads. Now I hear what you're saying. Yeah, I get it. No, no, but yeah, he's sound. He's sound, Janice. And what were we talking about? Yeah, of course we'd take it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if we finish above him, it wouldn't matter. It wouldn't matter at all. All killer, no filler says, how awful is it going to be when Eze inevitably scores the winner? I didn't even think about that until you asked that, Phil. Didn't even think about that. Disgusting. I'll tell you what's going to be great, when Javi Simmonds bags a brace. Oh, please. Yeah. Yeah. And who can score an own goal?

36:41Jack:Gabriel's out, isn't he? So that's good. You don't just have to replace him with the geezer that helped Leverkusen win. You know, whatever he's called. Him cappy. I, there is nothing they can do and nothing I can experience on Sunday for them to hurt me. It doesn't, I've got to a place where they can't, there's nothing they can do. But there isn't a single thing an Arsenal fan can say to me that winds me up in any way or makes me feel any kind of emotion. I have such lack of respect and disdain for them that it would be a joke. it would be an embarrassment for me to be impacted by anything they could say.

37:28Like a worm. That worm on that floor over there, they can't even make noise and somehow it's going to offend you. That's how I feel about them. I mean, you have been, you know, you've had the baptism of fire.

37:42Jack:You've been on stuff like Arsehole Fan TV and that, haven't you? I've seen troops shouting in your face and stuff, you know. uh yeah no i mean so so just to be clear it wasn't i didn't voluntarily go on af tv i worked for a company at that stage it was in the process of buying a tv af tv they didn't actually but i was an employee of that company and so had to do it um yes i've been on that fucking channel and yes i didn't mean them in particular just those sort of things don't you do those things where you're choked into it talking to them and yeah there was this thing we did for Ladbible and Ty, it was called...

38:20Jack:That was very hard. Not from your part. It was very hard to watch. It was very... I don't know how you did it. I don't know how you did it. I didn't... It was well edited because a lot of it was just I was sitting in disbelief at this fucking 55-year-old man being a baby. So, but that's even, that's an extreme version. There's not any of them. Not any... The minute, the minute they made a decision to support Arsenal, that may have been their parents that have convinced them or they like the kit or they grew up around where the Arsenal Stadium is meant that that's when they meant nothing. Then they could never mean anything.

39:01It just doesn't hurt. I just think they're saps. I just think they're saps.

39:04Jack:That's what I think. Do you know, I tell you what irritates me and it does irritate me is when like Thierry Henry, I think it was a couple of years ago when he said that thing about like all Spurs ever do is talk about Arsenal. They should focus on themselves whilst he's talking about Spurs. Whilst his most iconic moment is celebrating in front of Tottenham fans, which they went and made a fucking statue of outside their stadium. And they have the temerity to talk to us about talking about them. And that's just what I say about them, how they obstruct the truth all the time. They always act like we don't think about Tottenham.

39:39Jack:Yes, you do. All you do is go on about Tottenham. For the past decade, all we heard was you crying and bleating about harry kane every single time this fiction came out he's a scumbag he's this he's that oh look at the way backs into people when people go for a header every fucking player's done that forever like why why did we have a few years where we had to pretend that harry kane backing into somebody when they were doing a header was like some massively egregious he might kill people but he hasn't though has he I kill people.

40:12They are obsessed. West Ham are obsessed. Chelsea are obsessed.

40:19Jack:Arsenal are obsessed with us in a way. It speaks to something in some of their characters. It's only Arsenal fans. Even Chelsea fans don't do it. Chelsea fans revel in beating Tottenham and they love it. And it's funny and it's kind of, we all know it's sort of semi-fueled by hooliganism hooliganism that spilled out into normal football discourse right yeah arsenal have this weird and the only thing i can call it is right and i'm just saying this is like casual parlance they have like a tory mentality they enjoy this weird sense of like we are above tottenham we look down on them like their whole conversation the whole way they package arguments all the time you know calling as like swamp dwellers and all this it's just it's a bizarre type of like pseudo punching down that's what they want to do and they there was i've never seen them as rattled as the pochettino era when they could they just couldn't dispute the fact we were much better than them like so much better than them.

41:23Yeah, I mean, look, we live in the minds of all of them, regardless of what they say, right? They've got a name for finishing above us, for fuck's sake. And regardless, if you deny the North London derby as a rivalry, if you want to call it that, then you're denying and having a complete lack of understanding of what it means to follow your football club. And you actually look like an idiot. Are all batteries the same?

41:52Jack:That's like asking if all soccer players are the same. Take Messi, the most decorated player ever. Is there any other player who has achieved that? No, just him. Now take Duracell. Is there any other battery with power boost ingredients inside? No, just Duracell. Goats only trust Goats, because they're built different. And Messi only trusts Duracell. by all lorenzo the pitch looked good yeah so green usa keeper was decent enough didn't have much to do uh 99 minutes not a single goal well bet 365 sure came through though i bet 10 dollars and got 150 dollars in bonus bets just for signing up at least someone scored bet 365 winning is everything gambling problem call 1-800-GAMBLER 21 plus only must be physically located in Illinois.

42:47T's and C's apply. In-app only.

42:49Jack:This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome? That's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses setup required compatibility and availability varies 18 plus. So, yeah, I mean, the fact that Spurs have, by, you know, if you speak to Chelsea, speak to West Ham, speak to Arsenal fans, that we talk like we're above our station.

43:26But you lot are obsessed with hating us. And we haven't even done anything yet. When we start winning, one day we will. Oh, mate. How bad it's going to be. Oh, God. And this is the thing, they've all had a bit. They've had a bit. Arsenal have won, we've seen them win league titles, We've seen them win FA Cups. They've come close to the Champions League. Chelsea have won it all. West Ham never will. But what happens when we do? Because this isn't... Football is forever undulating, right? It's changing. It's cyclical. You know, we never thought that Manchester United would never be the best team in the league.

44:01Arsenal fans are bouncing around like this is going to be them forever. It won't. They'll fall. Like all clubs fall. We'll be there. When they do, we'll be there.

44:10Jack:Can you imagine if you live, let's say, another 40 years, right? If on your deathbed you can look back and see Tottenham having won 15 league titles. Do you know what I mean? You don't know, mate. No, you have no idea. I mean, we kind of do know, don't we? Yeah, we do know. But you don't know. You don't know. No, no. Did you ever see a few years back, I can't remember, it might have even been Ball Street, to be fair, somebody one of one of the content kind of houses they simulated a thousand years on football manager one of them was it yeah a thousand years and spurs spurs won the league twice the thing is if they would have but they it's just stupid because there are so many things that would impact whether or not a team can win the league or not that is based on the current state.

45:08But yeah, I think that's about right. In the current, without any kind of new investment or... Mate, but yeah, I mean...

45:15Jack:I think we won the Champions League quite a few times in that time. I think we were one of the highest Champions League winners. So I'll take that. Yeah, of course. But do you realise that it's not all about winning leagues? We know that, right? And you know, there's this thing... I did always used to think that, but you know... You know, it's getting older. We got close to it, didn't we? We flew Icarus, didn't we? We flew too close to the sun. You know, with Pochettino. Toothpaste out the tube. Genie's out the bottle. We want it. We want it. I do. I'm pig for it, mate. Pig. Yeah. Do you know, I'll tell you, this is inside voices.

45:48Jack:I say this just quietly. You know, even like when we won the Europa League, I loved it. I was buzzing. But Piggy inside was like, it's not quite a Champions League though, is it? You know? I want that next. and look look look where we might be at like we don't know the lewis family seems serious right and if they are serious if that 100 million pound and like i guess 100 million pound doesn't mean much to us right i mean what can you do with 100 million pound the answer is in the modern era with the current psr rules is a fucking lot you can do with that um you know you think of what chelsea did and they sold their women's team for 200 million and we've just plucked 100 million without having to asset strip it is significant it isn't just 100 million pound on Semenya or whatever it might be and then that's the money spent it's about how finances are structured in football and with the amortization of this money you could effectively buy in make a payment first payment on five 100 million pound players on five players on so five 100 million pound players on five year contracts it means you're committed to 20 million pound on each player for the rest of the season for the rest of the duration of the contract you could you can operate in that that way we have 100 million pound in cash ready to be spent i don't know if they're going to do it all on players but we have fluidity now liquidity rather i want the uh i want the palace boy wharton yes i'd love him i would love adam wharton and i would love i would love simenio who's that other kid though who is sort of like, he was like Wharton before Wharton and he disappeared.

47:27Jack:Alex Scott, is it? He went to Bournemouth. Proper Tottenham though, isn't he? Great player. I think he's a little bit more sort of box to box, but yeah, he just made the England squad, didn't he? Has he? For the first time, yeah, Alex Scott. I think there is something in, I know people will say they're professionals and they do this and blah, blah, blah. I do think there is something in that maybe we need a couple of lads that are proper Tottenham. Remember Ryan Mason, right? Like Ryan Mason, he was a Premier League footballer, right? But he was not one of the very best. However, when he was in the Spurs shot, he always gave it something extra.

48:00Yeah, no, no, totally. Totally, I think there's something in that. It's just that people believing in what you're trying to do, really. But yeah, if we could, if it won't happen, I doubt it'll happen in January, but if you're buying players at the level of Adam Warton and Semenyo, then anything's possible. See what they're trying to do.

48:19Jack:own brand says if you had a super magic sponge that could magically bring back one of our injured players to be fully fit for Sunday, who would you use it on? Madison. Yeah. It has to be, doesn't it? I definitely, I definitely underappreciated him. I bitched about him quite a lot last season. I could admit, what do I call him? A wet minge, I think. That's a horrible word, isn't it? minge yeah it's a bit of a petulant minge is what i called him actually uh but i think we we did a bit on the fighting cock um i actually said that behind a paywall i'm not sure if i've ever said that in real life but there we go it's out there now it's out there now um the uh we did a best the five best current spurs players um on the latest episode of the fighting cock and And so, excuse me.

49:14We did the order, and see if you agree with this. We, number one.

49:22Fucking who was number one?

49:24Jack:Romero, wasn't it? Romero. Yeah. Yeah, Romero, Maddison, Van der Ven, Kulisevsky, Poirot. That was our top player. Poirot's a good shout, you know. Because he is a player that I have pitched about a lot. Same. same there was a game that gave the ball away 47 times i think it's against against uh who's that geez who had the long throw we played some fucking timpah outfit we played in the fa cup last year i find out how to argue i do i do you know what in saying that in terms of magic sponging i do like madison but i do i i really think we undervalue kielicevsky quite a lot i think we undervalue how much we're missing him and his drive his tenacity his technical quality I just think he's a brilliant, brilliant player.

50:09Madison, you could stick Simmons out left and put Madison through the middle. And then you've got Kudus on the right. Or is it Solanke? Is he such a massive upgrade on Richarlison that it would be him? Madison was my answer there.

50:26Jack:Yeah, we'll take Madison. Let's do that. Sandy, I mean, we sort of done this up. Sandy Spriggs says, Flav, what length of time would you be willing to spend in prison if it meant Spurs won this weekend? um a year yeah that'd be horrible though wouldn't i wouldn't i no i didn't i wouldn't spend any time in prison like i wouldn't be able to earn any money or would lose the house my family wouldn't understand what my decision might have someone do the you know the sugar in the kettle thing at you as well which is yeah do you know what i mean by that yeah so they they they sort of it's like a homebrew of sort of hot it burns your face doesn't it?

51:05Jack:Because I think the sugar melts sticks into your skin and you can't wash it away so it scars you I've seen Top Boy yeah there you go that's it that's it oh this is a good one Doug Keith says what's your favourite under the radar North London derby moment nothing like the Kane Mars goal or the Danny Rose screamer or Deli's dink what's a smaller moment that most people have likely forgotten about that brings you great joy to remember?

51:38I mean, if it is Arsenal and it is that 5-1 game, it's the moment where, was it Aaron Lennon who passed it in to Robbie Keane? And it was what we saw, we thought was a misplaced pass. And there was like a groan from the crowd. and then you realise the pass was still on and Keane played it into Lennon for him to finish and the roar that erupted. There are many moments from that game. All of them are fantastic, but there was that moment where we go, ah, go on!

52:15Jack:That geezer runs on the pitch, doesn't he, and hugs Aaron Lennon out of the stands. Oh, that was a different game. That was a four-all. I was thinking about the 5-1 at home, but that was great as well. yeah so no who was it was it I thought it was Steve Malbron which one am I thinking of he got the winner Aaron Linn got the fourth goal Malbron got the winner back post probably in from Jermaine Genius yeah I think it was that when the commentator goes and it's glory glory Tottenham Hotspur the Spurs are on their way to Wembley that's it they fucking are yes I remember that was an Arsenal side that you know was decent it was it was decent and they always tried to make it oh but we had to make substitutions shut up i don't even listen to that shit absolutely slapped you about remember that he said that it was brilliant um william gardner on twitter says uh what's your take on non-conventional condiments being used on roast dinners is it time to allow the likes of hp and chili sauce at a christmas table absolutely not no i mean no i'm very gammon about that type of thing i'm i'm i'm not gonna i'm not gonna there's been occasions where mayonnaise has been brought to the table at a roast dinner and i've yeah i've been like that's not right that's not you know used on what bit i think the roast potatoes i look i understand chips with because effectively it's a roast potato is a different shaped chip.

53:44Jack:It's a big chip in it. Yeah. But not on a roast. No. And you've got great condiments there already. You've already got mustard. I have hot English mustard. I've got... What about horseradish? Horseradish. Both of those. Do you know what? I like when the horseradish and the gravy sort of mix together a bit. You can make like a little swill. I find, and I'm not saying this because my tolerance of heat isn't magnificent. When I go for a curry, like there are some curries I just can't cope with and I don't enjoy right so this isn't me bragging there I'm not a bloke who goes give me the vindaloo or the uh what's the other one the fall that's a really hot one isn't it give me that I would never do that though I hope most I mean I enjoy eating curry and and it's not about the heat necessarily anyway the point I'm making is I struggle to find a horseradish that has enough kick I find it I find I know I need a brand that really punches.

54:41It's not like spice though, is it? It's different. It's here in the sinus. It's in the sinus. That punch in the nose is so satisfying for me. And I can't find a horseradish that really kicks my ass. I can't. Most of them have got a cream of horseradish. So you know what you get in there. Trackelmuntz is a good brand.

55:00Jack:It is good. But it doesn't, the sweet mustard ketchup. It's banging. I've not had that. Mate, get it. It's so good. what do you have it with uh you can eat it with anything i have it in burgers you can have it with pizza you can have it with i would i would imagine i don't eat meat but i'd imagine any kind of meat it would go with it is how would you say it's like a pickley mustardy ketchup fucking great you know one thing just on your meeting i don't think i've ever said this to you one thing is literally rent free in my head since you said it and i think about it every single time i eat beef now is when you i think you i think you said you'd made a veggie mince and a beef mince for the kids yeah and you made yourself a bowl of the beef mince by accident and you ate a couple of spoonfuls i was i was i was cooking too but and and you said it tasted like the smell of butcher shops yeah and i was like that's repulsive but i can't is it right well since you said that i'm like it kind of does i don't mean i don't mean like prime cut of steak but when that's the only way i could describe it it's the smell of death isn't it that's what it is it's like a sort of a metallic-y and i don't death deathly scent like this came from me cooking meat for other people so it's not like i'm i'm not i didn't mean to it wasn't a case of trying to upset meat eaters i couldn't give a shit about that but uh yeah that's what it reminded me and i was like i don't think i could ever i haven't i would never be able to eat meat for the rest of my life.

56:32I don't think.

56:35Jack:Mighty Spurs says, so what's all the noise on Ricky's mum? Is she actually a looker or something? I think we've got to stop this because you know the parasocial relationships people have with people who listen to podcasts. A lot of people just at Enrique and stuff. Well no, they're approaching him at football and stuff and saying stuff about his mum and you're like, that's not, you don't know him. It's alright for us to do it, but if you You can't just dig his mum out if you don't know him. Like, that's not on. I love Rick. The thing I love about Rick is, like, he's so expressive. Like, I can tell the, you know, your latest fighting cock, I can't remember what it was.

57:12Jack:You know, it was all sort of mum jokes, this and that.

57:17Jack:Then you refer to her as a rotter in one part. And you just, I was just imagining what his face was. You were like, sorry, was that a bit too much? He was like, yeah, it was a bit too much, that one. He was looking at me staring into the camera. with his wide eyes. Look, mate, he's as bad as anyone for digging out people's mums, but he does your mum all the time, doesn't he? I'll go on Instagram or something and I'll be like, it would just be at my Instagram account and I'll look at it and it'll be like, scientists have discovered the biggest black hole they've ever found. And it'll be, tell your mum to close her legs, Jack.

57:55Jack:Cheers, Rick. Thanks. Always. It'll be that type of thing. So don't go up to Ricky and dig his mum out. No, she's just a normal looking lady. She's a lovely lady. She raised a great family. She's a wonderful woman. When I talk about Ricky's mum, I'm not actually thinking about his actual mum. She's a wonderful, she's lovely, you know, but she's rotter. Yeah.

58:25Jack:So Anoa Mimas basically said, ask Flav about this and there's an article on the Guardian website that is about leopard sharks having threesomes I know a lot about sharks but I never knew about this which was interesting I did find out that dolphins have lots of mano-mano action just fuck each other basically I'm not sure they're one of the few creatures like humans that do it just for fun don't they? Yeah, well, them and monkeys and stuff like that. Yeah, boys are bonobos, I think, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I've never, I've never known, I didn't know that sharks had threesomes, so fair play.

59:11Like, if they can do it, then why shouldn't we do it?

59:14Jack:I wonder if that's because apparently the numbers of their species are dwindling. So I wonder if it's some sort of, you know, a concerted effort amongst the shark populace to get their numbers back up, you know? Do you remember in Peep Show, the threesome that he has? He's really excited to have a threesome, and he gets there, and there's just a woman there who's got a bandage on her ankle, and she's really angry with him. He's like, I don't know. It's Jez and that mad, the sort of scatty, sort of mad, sort of hippie woman, and her mate from work. And she's sitting there, and she's got like a, she's got like, she looks very sort of, she's got like brown, sort of beige clothing, and she scours at him and she's sitting on the bed and she's got a foot up and she's undoing the bandage on her sprained ankle.

1:00:05And he's like, I'm not sure, I don't want to do this anymore. And she's like, come on, you wanted to do this? And the woman's just scouring at him.

1:00:12Jack:I like the other one in the boathouse, you know, when he's got like the sort of the new age American hippie girlfriend and she suggests they have a threesome and with that kind of that real tosser of a bloke. and he's just sat there watching being like i thought this would be more fun yeah this is really painful a mutual friend of ours do you remember we won't say his name but do you remember the threesome that he had i vaguely do yeah do you know what we're talking about if i think so if i say v would it yeah yeah right so he's he's having a threesome with these two two birds which is wonderful and um he's having sex with one of them and i guess there's always that sort of spare apart thing but you could do other stuff you'd imagine but she's just rubbing him on the back going go on go on son go on rubbing him like it wasn't like a massage he was just rubbing him like he was like i don't know like a horse go on come by what is that what is that they say No, it's the sheep, isn't it?

1:01:20Jack:Yeah, come by. Come by. Come by. I'll ask you this one last, mate, because you're one of them off the radio head, aren't you? I felt guilty to you when I said it. No, it's fine. Because do you know what? You're somebody that I know loves. I don't mind people who really love them going. It's when it's your mate who's like, oh, I hope they play Karma Police, you know, who gets a ticket. They're the ones that annoy me, not the ones that will be, I know you'll be there. like wobbling your head around when nude comes on or something like that you know um herbie king says so what is your favorite ready head song he did say i know that's like choosing between kids that's reckon i know that's um it's definitely that it's perfect however I like is it Subterranean Homesick Alien yeah that's a good one that is one that came to be later

1:02:23that came to be to be later I only appreciate that much later because it's like okay computer do you need to go because of the baby

1:02:31Jack:no it's alright I'm a neglectful father I'm not really sure that second after yeah okay okay computer had so many like it was such a movement at that time that that was almost like an understated um the whole of in in rainbows there isn't a bad track on there i i i i struggle to rank the albums really um i do think open rainbows is their peak if i had to say i think yes like i would say number one but in terms of this year what i've listened to most is amnesia it's such a good album but it just doesn't it wasn't because it was released so close after in fact they need to be listened together you should listen to both those albums together not as individual uh pieces of work they're the same work knives out it's that that would be up there um i love it yeah man it's uh i i'm very excited mate hey uh do you ever sometimes think though you know when you've listened to radiohead for a while like you know if you've had a session one afternoon you've listened to a couple of albums back to back most days most days do you do you ever sometimes think though like do i listen to radiohead because the world is in the sort of place that it is and it allows me to reflect on that it's like a shared sense of grief as to what modern society is right plays sort of homage to many of the the things that we feel about modern society and governments and what have you or do you feel that when you listen to miserable music like that it gives you a miserable outlook no i i don't chicken and egg stuff i understand the subjects of some of the songs and the the and i know that sort of accusation has been aimed at them and it some of it is quite bleak but i'm almost like at stage now i'm not like to say i've transcended um but i i just it's just the music that i'm i'm obsessed with and I don't really get bogged down in the subject matter too much.

1:04:42I love Radiohead more than any other band. More than any other band. I love the sound they create.

1:04:50Jack:Yeah. And I can put on any album and enjoy it. For some bands, you have to kind of force your way through some albums. I never listened to Pablo Honey, to be fair. Do you know what? I revisited it not longer and I actually really enjoyed it because I agree with you. I don't listen to it that often. And it is a very different sound. It is a, it is a band finding their feet, isn't it? Yeah. Also obviously influenced by the kind of nineties draw for grunge and all that type of stuff. But have you seen the video of them? Apparently it's like one of Tom York's. He hates it. He hates it. It's something I think he's referenced before.

1:05:29Jack:there's a performance of that they've done on um mtv of uh what's the name that's not anyone could play guitar all right yeah um and it's it's like it's horrific because it's obviously there which obviously their management company has said go out there and act like nirvana do you know i mean go out there and act like a sort of punk rock band and it's i'll find it no it wasn't and And yeah, I can imagine it's something that fundamentally changes an individual, regardless of fame or something like that. Having a moment when you're like, I have been forced into a corner and I can either accept this and kind of become the vision that the record company wants me to be, or I can take a risk.

1:06:14Jack:And I think that's one thing they don't maybe get enough credit for, the fact that at the very peak of their powers, they were suddenly like, fuck it, we're not going to work with any record companies anymore and just do our own thing. and completely change their sound and still be one of the biggest bands in the world. That was the biggest gamble, right? How do you follow OK Computer? How do you do that? It's impossible. In fact, the following people is easy. I think we talked about this previously, but following people is... Sorry, what is it? Meeting People is Easy is the documentary that followed Radiohead around when they were touring OK Computer.

1:06:46And the interviews with mostly Tom York is about his anxieties about what he has to do next. And what they did next in Kid A, many people consider to be their best album. If it isn't in radio, it's Kid A, right? So a lot of people say that. Well, shift. You've got the most successful album. And movement, as I said, a culturally significant piece of work. And they shift. They pivot to something else. and that must have been gut-wrenchingly scary but also it sort of cemented them and it it took a while i think for people to appreciate how good kid a was it is but it's a different album completely a different sound to okay computer and it was the start of what radiohead became okay computer is a brilliant album ben's is brilliant album but they become radiohead after I thought

1:07:45Jack:let's bring it around to the top then what are you listening to if Spurs win Radiohead song and what song are you listening to if Spurs lose against Arsenal I am if we win

1:08:00Jack:I like something a bit I like the national anthem

1:08:05Jack:that's kind of like a bit of a pre-match hype one for me you know Sabian club footy type but like an elevated version of that it'll be electioneering

1:08:17probably on OKCM and if we lose no surprises

1:08:26Jack:Flav it's been an absolute pleasure mate enjoy Radiohead don't worry about the game against Arsenal because you're going to go and see Radiohead it's true you're right can I just say as well before I plug them I've got to say I've noticed right i i got rob daly and ben haynes on talk about bill bow and then what do you do a few weeks later on the lab is this is this just is this just your way you're like you're like oh jack's had a good idea there i'm more popular so i can do it better you know that's all it is i uh well no you know that's not true because you set me up with them so you know uh you know that without you i probably well ben haynes i know i've known for a long time but definitely wouldn't have been able to do Rob.

1:09:10But I think I did plug you on the pod. I know you did.

1:09:14Jack:I know you did. Thank you. So, yeah, you're welcome. They're two different interviews, but you just can't talk to Ben Haynes without talking about Bilbao and even Rob, obviously, the way he speaks about football, which we just released it last night, actually, his episode. So, mate, they're both great. Rob's great. Ben's amazing. They're great to talk to. It's just one of those things, like when I was recording that and then listen to yours as well. It's just like, it's just a nice place to be in. It's nice to not have to be like, who's going to start up front? Is Richelle listen good enough? It doesn't matter.

1:09:46Jack:Like, just talk about Spurs doing something good. Yeah. And that's nice. So, yeah. If you don't listen to the lab already, listen to it because that's where, well, yeah, it's good, isn't it? That's where you do your, that's where you flex your serious muscles, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Rather than talk about Ricky's mum. Much love anyway. Go listen to the lab. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

1:10:35Jack:We'll be right back. lotion. You're welcome. Columbia. Engineered for whatever. The right window treatments change everything. Your sleep, your privacy, the way every room looks and feels. At Blinds.com, we've spent 30 years making it surprisingly simple to get exactly what your home needs. We've covered over 25 million windows and have 50 ,000 five-star reviews to prove we deliver. Whether you DIY it or want a pro to handle everything from measure to install, we have covered real design professionals free samples zero pressure right now get up to 50 off with minimum purchase plus get a free professional measure at blinds.com rules and restrictions apply