Dating is Broken. Serena Kerrigan Knows How to Fix It.

25:01Don't you think there's an element too of like the infinite choice thing? Yeah. Where it's like a man, like I forget who said this, but it was basically that women are insatiable in terms of intimacy and men are insatiable in terms of variety. And it's like, here's your variety machine. Right. Like you could just go, whereas women are not as maybe interested in variety. I don't know if you'd agree with that. Yeah, but it's also like, I remember just feeling like, I need to get on a date. Like I just like, let's, you have to just get on the date and you have to, I think, whenever I did a dating update, then like the next day I would be at a bar and like suddenly a guy would talk to me.

25:32It's just an energy that you're like out there and you're getting to know people. You're almost like a soldier in Nam. You're like, just get to the next village. Thank you. It's literally like, don't even look. You get your helmet on and you run. Because I think a big part of meeting people serendipitously is by stepping outside your comfort zone. And dating is in some ways like getting out of your comfort zone. You don't know that person. You're meeting them for the first time. I think the more that you can push yourself to feel uncomfort and that discomfort, which Gen Z, Gen Alpha hate feeling discomfort for the most part.

26:02Not to generalize, but it's true. It's like the Amazon Prime, the Uber Eats. They won't get on a phone call. They won't get on a phone call. Yeah, stop being addicted to comfort and convenience. Correct. Because dating is more comfortable and more convenient. That's actually how you're going to meet someone. Think about when we're on vacation, right? We're out of our comfort zone. But suddenly, we're flirting with a guy in like 36B. I fucking am. And we're at the bar and the bartender's like, do you want drugs? And you're like, you know what? Sure. Whereas if you're at home, you'd be like, I'm calling the police, sir.

26:31No, really. You're like, fuck it, let's take the ketamine. You know, it's like, you're just saying yes to your out of your comfort zone, you're doing it for the plot, because why? You have a flight in the morning. How can you replicate that energy to home? Wow. That's true. That's so good. It's so good. Bars. That's what it is. When's the last time you took a different route to work? Right. When's the last time you went to a different workout class, a different coffee shop? Like we become very set in our ways. And it's like, if you want to meet new people, you have to sometimes do the thing that might be more annoying, but not annoying.

27:02Sorry. Just the thing. It is more annoying. It's sorry. It is actually annoying. It's annoying to get on the phone as a Gen Z. Yeah, it is. It's like, I don't want to do this. Sometimes you just have to fucking do it. Yeah. Because that's how you're going to meet people if you don't want to be on the app. So I, fine. There's a line in the book. It's like, stop being a bitch, smile at a stranger. Legit. it's so it's like it's like if my mom was like that's a nice man go up to him like stop being a bitch i'm saying the smile thing is crazy i think it's such a great exercise like when's the last time you saw someone and i understand men feeling a little creepy which is why i give it to the women to do yeah it's like when's the last time you saw a cute guy and you like looked at him you just like smiled oh that's so this have you ever seen that meme how i look at a guy i'm in love with and want to marry and have fantasized about like across from a party where it's literally just like this it's like it's like you look constipated like no one wants like it needs to be like like you know that vibe and by the way i used to wait so my one of my best friends she taught me about this and she was like just try it when you're on the street and i did it and it's terrifying that's again to talk about outside your girlfriend it is scary yeah it's awkward well it's the equivalent of a guy going up to a girl and be like hey what's going on how are you It is.

28:17Which is also terrifying. Right. So, but because women don't tend to do that, it actually is very disarming for a man. And it's surprising. I had men literally like, I would do it and then I'd feel a tap on my shoulder and they'd be like, hi. And like, they would be like, you caught my attention. Because it doesn't happen. Everyone's glued to their fucking phones. So it's eye contact? It's just eye contact and a little smile. Can I add, you have so many great chapters and the titles are fucking hilarious. Yeah. Can I add a new one? Take off your fucking headphones. people out in the world when you're have your headphones in you're impossible to go up to yeah it adds such a barrier to being approached totally like take off your headphones the phone be in the world yeah put the phone down the headphone too yeah especially the ones who have like the big earmuffy ones it's like well how am i gonna get in there no yeah yeah it's like a prison it's a prison it's a prison for approaches wait i want to read out some dating axioms like take off your headphones which i think is a really good one and get your gut reaction great if it's not fuck yes it's no fuck yes that's true you think it's a chapter it's a whole part of my book of course it's true of course it's true this actually was a video that i made that kind of like took off for me like in 2020 because i got i was in a situation ship with a guy who i thought like me who didn't i was confused and i realized i was like if it's not a fuck yes it's no either he's gonna be obsessed with you or not like men that like you and you i love having a man here to validate everything that i say yeah i'm here for you when you like a woman there's a sense of urgency i feel like men have they're like they want to see you like they're direct they're they make the plan there's no wishy-washy it's almost as if like you don't want another guy to like scoop her away right okay so if it's not that fucking urgency then it's not your man it's not your man 100 i've given this advice to female cousins of mine where they're being cousins yeah if your other cousin is not calling you you shouldn't are you dating them or we have first cousins we've married in my family oh really that's like old school Persian shit that's cultural yeah but anyway my girl cousins when they would go out with guys I would know they would tell me the way that these guys are treating them and I look I'm not proud of this but I'm like yeah that's the shit that I would do with a girl that I'm not interested in right like he does not like you don't do it it's literally fuck yes or no it's just like it's that black and white and I hate when they're like but but but He might be shy.

30:41That's what you want? No. I mean, that's so fucking shy. He loves you so much. He's not calling you. He's nervous to call you. And you're at your wedding. You were just really shy and just didn't ever want to call me. But then I forced you and now we're getting married. Yeah. Never going to happen. You're treating it like Carrie and the wall in Homeland with all the lines. But maybe this means that it's so simple. So simple. Either they're into you or they're not into you. Okay. Well, then the next one. If he wanted to, he would. Yeah. Is that true? If he wanted to, he would. This is controversial.

31:08I think that if you wanted to would in courtship stage before you're in a relationship is a yes. Yeah. A hundred percent. If a man wants to see you, he's going to make it happen. He wants to text you, he's going to make it happen. It's no. That's true. A million percent. A million. I think that in a relationship, you can't assume that your boyfriend like is if you want flowers every holiday. You can't like make these assumptions. Well, he doesn't do that for me. So he doesn't want to. No, I think that when you're in a relationship, you need to communicate your dates. Right. Right. Fair enough.

31:34I have one that I know that you don't believe in. Oh. Which I don't know if you were going to say next. Well, yeah, say it. I know that you don't believe in icks. I was going to bring up icks. Okay, let's bring it up. I was going to bring up icks. You're anti-icks. Because I think icks are just like a, they're like a way to be really like mean and judgy. And it's sort of like, he wore no socks. I hate him. He has an earring. He's disgusting. It's an ick that like, he's short. It's an ick that he, you know, wears the wrong pants. And it's a little like, geez Louise. Like, I think it's really objectifying.

32:05And I think it's like Don't like Like come up with something You actually don't like about him Or just say Look it's not a match You're not attracted to him But don't act like Him wearing the wrong brand Or ordering a weird thing Is actually indicative of anything The chapter in my book is called Ick or get a grip Because I think a lot of times You need to get a fucking grip Right And I think that you're actually just You're finding something not to like Because you yourself Don't want it to work out And you want to create distance And you're not ready for a relationship and you're just nitpicking at them.

32:36This idea that you have a build-a-bear fucking man, like that's not ever going to happen. But also like people are weird, people are gross, people have picadillos, people have, it's like that's what a human is. Like we're monkeys, we're gorillas. Oh. Like it's like so old, it's like you have to get over the fact that it's like you're a monkey, they're a monkey. Like that is gross. I don't think we need to like see it in that way. I think a good example was like my friend was dating this guy And I write about this in the book And he got really intoxicated And she got the ick And I think, see, that I felt like Was it ick or get a grip?

33:11And I have like a little quiz And I think that's ick Because that underlying that I understand that you don't feel This is someone who's supposed to Protect you, make you feel safe Like, you know, and how can they Take care of you and like be with you If they're literally like Falling all over themselves multiple times Right That's a fair assessment on Vinick Right, I don't mean like You can't get the ick If he's$100 ,000 in gambling debt Like that actually is indicating something. Right, right. You mean like, for example, Felix, like, yeah, he wore really tight pants. He wore this turtleneck.

33:40He was just looking. There was a turtleneck. There was a turtleneck and really tight pants. And like I know he was French, but like in Legally Blonde, the musical, there's a song called Is he gay or European? And like I just didn't know which it was, you know, for a second, for a split second. And I decided I was like I could let this like be like, like maybe not see him. or was it me scared that like there was intimacy and it was feeling good and I just find the thing that I don't like. So I just decided to tuck it away and ignore it. We became official and then I said to him, I said, okay, you need to burn those pants.

34:15Yeah. You're never wearing a turtleneck ever again. And guess what? He did those both things. He only wears crew decks. That's amazing. Well, it's also like, that is changeable. The turtleneck is changeable. That's what I'm saying. It's moldable. First of all, turtlenecks are awesome and you guys are both giving me the egg. Well, I feel bad now. You're both giving me the egg. You think? Yeah. By judging Felix for wearing a turtleneck? No, I mean, she did the right thing by not letting that derail the whole relationship. Exactly. It's okay to have preferences. Can you imagine if I did? I feel like women do, but I think it's like this, it's a self-defense mechanism.

34:46That's what it is. I think. Yes, 100%. You don't like them because you just don't like them, but you're getting fixated on something that is changeable. I know. Can I share my pathology? Yeah. I'm gonna share my pathology I don't think it's dating though it's more relationship-y but I'll have this thing where I'm in a relationship and I feel in my bones I don't want to be in this relationship I get out of the relationship and then I start to rationalize why wait this was the perfect person for me what was wrong with me and like we'll start this loop in my head and then and then try to get back together with them and then get back together with them and then be like what have I done and you're in therapy I'm assuming I mean this is what I'm doing right now.

35:28But this is therapy. This is actually, did you take insurance? No degree. Yeah, absolutely. Just let me know where to send the invoice. Yeah, I think there's maybe a part of you that is scared of commitment. Right. Is that what you think it is or is it scared of being alone? Well, two sides of the same coin. I feel like when you are after a breakup, you get sad and you reach for the nearest drug to make you feel better. And sometimes the drug is the exact same person. For sure. Here's the thing. If you, when my friends break up with someone and they're like, oh yeah, he's calling me. I'm like, the only way you get back together with him is if he crawls over glass with a diamond ring between his teeth.

36:09A hundred percent. Over glass groveling. Yeah. Tears. Crying. Marry me. That's the only way. Because if it ends in a ring, all bets are off. You're allowed to kind of do whatever you want. I think that's a good asterisk. But if it's like, hey, let's give it another go. It's like, I don't know, brother. I don't know. Agreed. Agreed. Okay, rapid fire. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Yes. There's no such thing as closure. Yes. Opposites attract. Yes. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone. Abso-fucking-lutely. Trust your gut. Duh. Okay, these are all good dating axioms, I guess.

36:46I am a believer there's no such thing as closure. Closure comes from right in here. A hundred percent. There's no one out there who's going to give you closure. and if you're asking for it you're just a junkie please please please it's like you're a junkie on the street oh here's another thing if you want to break up with me that's the closure text me yeah text me oh no the in person I don't need the in person I don't need to talk to you I don't need to get on FaceTime well Gen Z loves that just fucking text me say it's over and you will never hear from me again two dates yeah beyond that you do need a call at least I don't want to hear your voice you can just text me and say bye bye after years I don't care for married you've gotten divorced over text we could be married for 20 years No, I will say it is really, really uncomfortable to break out with someone in person, but you have to do it.

37:28You think you have to do it? Yeah. Why? Why? Why is everyone so obsessed with that? I think it's good practice. It's dignity. It's like you're acknowledging that it was a real connection and there's discomfort, but you have to work through it. Whoever's watching, if you and I end up dating and you want to end it, just fucking... Just text him. Here's what I want. Don't even text me I want to see a green bubble When I text you Just block my ass No I don't believe you Just block my ass And Dan you're better than that I'd freak out I'd be like Oh he's like He's lying about his identity What's two drinks and ditch I'm wondering if Dan agrees with this I wonder if you agree with this What is it You should not be going To dinner on a first date Interesting Complete agree Ever No ever ever ever ever I'm also a really messy eater And I mean first date As in like You were meeting them there For the first time Not because you're a messy eater Who cares about that?

38:23You're the prize baby You can do whatever you want Maybe for drinks You gotta bar Pizzolino And just get a couple Negronis And then leave Yes, that's it Two No more than two The third you're fucked We'll be right back To get Serena's take On some of the wildest Dating stories of the moment Every summer I rediscovered That my body's Preferred sleeping temperature Is that of an industrial freezer Anyone else? I was sick of flipping my pillow Every five minutes So I finally switched out My whole sleep situation For Cozy Earth And I really don't know What I was waiting for The rib knit pajama set is incredible.

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39:52Welcome back to Second Thought here with Serena fucking Kerrigan. Hi. My dad called me last week. He's like, enough swearing on the podcast. And I was like, I actually completely agree, but it's your legal name. Right. Didn't you change your name? Right. No, you didn't. Oh, my God. I'm so gullible. Okay. The tech community has a new favorite trend on first dates. Recording the entire encounter, a new AI app called Granola, I keep seeing billboards for it allows users to tape and transcribe conversations in real time people are using them to document romantic outings and asking bots to analyze their performance after so should i be more engaging should i be more empathetic one woman says she might ask claude what is the percentage of me talking versus them talking serena carrigan should you be recording your dates using granola or some ai platform fuck no oh my god i'm actually scared like that scares me isn't that wild serena i feel like you should go on like a Doctors Without Borders trip to San Francisco to like do to do to do charity to do mouth to mouth or something literally they need your help what the fuck can you cure cancer first please like we don't need this see this is where I get scared what this says is you don't have trust in yourself confidence is trust right having trust within and suddenly you are giving your trust to it you're not trusting yourself on the date you're literally asking a computer to like, and then you're fucked.

41:14Then every text message, every situation, like literally every fight, you're going to be starting to record always asking, asking, asking. Right. It's bad. It's awful. It's literally that. Claude, how do I ask her to marry me? It's like at a certain point. And then the fucking vows are going to be on like. It's, well, a lot of women are saying they're going on dates or they're texting with guys or, you know, communicating on a dating app. They're so empathetic. They're so thoughtful. And then they go on a date. They realize it was all AI. Yeah, no shit. And by the way, when I was single, it was all my best friends texting for me.

41:43So, you know. Right, right. That's why texting a bullshit. You cannot get to know someone over text. Really? You have to be in person. You have to go on a real date. Wait, I'm sorry. I have a question. Yeah. Okay. I match with someone on Raya because, you know, and we go back and forth. Hey, what'd you do? Nice. At what point, how many back and forths until you get to what's the, is it, should we meet up or is let's take this to text and now you're texting on the phone would love to meet you for a drink don't even take it to text would love to meet you for a drink let me know when you're free this week bang boom almost immediately what are we doing here we both obviously liked each other to match right done it should be one two hit like a little nothing it literally just would be like I'd love to take you on a date okay what are we doing I like this and nothing else no how's your day like fucking just logistics what's your first what's your opening line I don't really I would just be like hey window or aisle window or aisle I like that that's pretty good okay that's good what's your opening line uh hi uh no hi I noticed on your thing that you're a reporter no I'm kidding um whatever it is it's not working that's a thing I have to be open to this information because we have to be open because she got to the finish line I'm open that's why I wrote the book we're here I'm gonna get you there okay so uh AI don't use it on dates don't use it to flirt it has no business in the romantic realm By the way, the second you start, you won't be able to stop.

43:10It'll be a slippery slope. Like every single... Right. Actually, okay, a couple... I will say that I've never said this on a podcast before, so... Exclusive. Exclusive. Exclusive tea. My boyfriend and I would... I'm doing this last now, but yes, we would get... I'm a really great storyteller. I talked about this. Yes, of course. I'm a really good storyteller. So sometimes when I would fight with my boyfriend, he would point out that like I would rewrite what he said in my mind and then be like, but you said... And he was like, I never said that. Right. And I was like, it's not like I'm trying to gaslight him or anything.

43:39It's more just like I was interpreting what he was saying differently. Right. You were making it a story into your head and delivering it back to him. Right. And he was like, I didn't. So I'd be like, you said it like this. And he was like, I didn't say that you're making this up. And I was like, I can't tell if you're gaslighting me. Whatever. So at one point he was like, we need to set the phone down. ChatGBT needs to fucking listen to this. Oh my God, as a mediator. Legit. Because it was just like, he was like, I feel fucking insane. You're literally, like you're lying. And I'm like, I'm not lying.

44:06Like I just perceived it differently. Poor guy's sitting there in his crew neck. He's not comfy. He wishes he had his turtleneck on. His neck is freezing. His neck is so cold. He's being lied to. He's like, how did this happen to me? I was so cool. And you literally, you sent the phone down. He didn't be like, take my side and then do it. It was just like. No, it was like, we're doing my chat, obviously. Oh my God. What did he tell you? I will say, I will say it was like once or twice. what's his name frederick was it felix felix felix felix if you need help come over man i got so many turtlenecks for you i wonder how many people are using it as like a couple's therapist there has been a couple of times where like i will ask something because i don't want to you know like i get insecure whatever but that's a problem with ai it's like if you feel insecure they're going to tell you anything that you want to hear right i just think it's like it's a slippery motherfucking slope and you need to trust within that you're great on a date well and if you're not then the chemist not that you're not great but if the date is doesn't go well it's because it's not all it's not because you were 25 less engaging it's like it's a chemistry thing claude can't tell you chemistry it can tell you everything it can't it can't do chemistry right are we clauds not chats or whatever yeah i use both me too i only use chat but i'm like a claude in the streets but a chat in the sheets nice nice stuck the land Yeah, let's work on that for next week.

45:33This summer, New York Magazine did a big feature titled Call Her Mommy, which reports on all the ways modern women are pulling the weight in their relationships. Many of the men they spoke to feel happy to be pampered. The women say men have entered their princess era, and the women are sick of having to parent their underperforming partners. Something that I love about this book, I consider it a feminist book, but it is, I think, realistic. So for example, you talk about how men should plan the date. Explain that. Because I think a lot of women are like, why can't I plan the date? Like it's the 21st century.

46:07So say more about what feminism tells you and doesn't tell you about that. I know. And I was really careful in writing this book because I didn't want people to think that I was being gendered in some way. I'm just like, a man shows his interest through pursuit. We know you can plan a date. We know you can pay, bitch. We know. but like you're already working your ass off you're getting your nails done you're going to soul cycle you're you know you're you're busy you're a busy bitch you're prized let him do this for you i saw bill maher and scott galloway talking and this clip kind of went viral but he's like the man should plan the date he should pay for the date because for women to just get out the door the sephora the hair the nails i'm sorry and also women's also what women's time is more important than a man's time.

46:55You have a biological clock that we don't have. That's true. And so we are getting that time. We should be fucking paying for it. We should be planning the first five to seven dates. If you want to be cute and do your eighth little picnic in the park date, great. And yeah, a woman could pay for ice cream like as a show of whatever. I can't even believe this is up for debate. It cannot be. You had a line in the book that was like, feminism doesn't mean that you are someone's unpaid assistant it's like that's not what it is it's like we're working and busting our asses off like let him like do you want a man that also like isn't as masculine is taking care of things like we know you can provide for yourself financially and by the way you fucking should like we're obviously providing for ourselves financially right having a fuck you fund that's important i think absolutely however let him this is how he's going to show you he's interested when i would go to dates and i would do the planning then i wasn't clear i was like well did he even want to go on or did he just want to go to this cool restaurant right cafe charmant um i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna dig you i'm gonna put a dig on you oh let's do it you took someone on a date okay you took someone on a date they didn't take you on a date she took someone on a date to the best restaurant in america i'm like there's no way to chop someone's balls off more i took someone on a date to the french laundry it was a third date and nip snip snip balls i mean that was not even that that wasn't the reason that wasn't the reason it didn't work out i got neurovirus at the french laundry before one plate hit the table it's really sad no no like crazy that's not why it ended that's not why no that's well it's sort of it was a little like do or die kind of like is this is this person gonna have a good sense of humor about it are we gonna get over are we gonna laugh about it no siree i'm in a cold sweat at the french laundry freezing cold sweat i went up to a waiter i said get me out you have to get me out of here to a waiter i'm in california i don't live there with this random person and i literally was like It was like the scene Of Bridesmaids Like it was Absolutely crazy I still think you shouldn't Have asked him on the date Really What do you mean French laundry I wanted to eat at the French laundry And he was gonna be there I thought it would be romantic Your sister or your mom You don't fucking take A man there I think I do that a lot You can't do that No no And telling you Stop Stop Let them take you Even if you have a great idea Even if your co-host Dan Can get you a reservation At the French laundry Reserve it for your girls Wow Stop doing that 100 % You know what that is You know what that is You know what that is That's a girlfriend privilege The second thing He's your man Go for it He's not your man You know once I brought A date to a Travis Scott concert Like as the first date And I was like Not even that big of a fan But I I was like I have tickets Yeah guys love that That's like taking them To the Superbowl That's what I'm saying Yeah Why the fuck am I Planning this date Why the fuck am I Bringing you I never saw him again After that And by the way I remember he like Was at the concert And he like Wasn't even like Next to me He like pushed you Out of the way To see Travis Scott

49:50women often fantasize about the ring of their dreams but women are starting to buy divorce rings love and many are getting them fitted to their middle finger you love this love yeah get divorced just to get the divorce well they have the ring and then they're getting it resized and like reimagining it yeah i just think if you want to get me remarried it's confusing to wear a diamond ring on your hand like if you're if you're looking for love again if it's on the pinky oh that's sick that's very that's masculine that's a little that's a little Tony Soprano that is a little Tony Soprano hot do you vote do you have a view on lab groans oh it's so hard like everything the official SSK view everything I'm wearing is lab grown I mean I should hope so because you shouldn't be walking around Times Square with those I was on the subway you're gonna get you're in the sweet spot though there's a sweet spot if you're a successful person who has money You can get lab grown Everyone's gonna think it's real If you are a Checkout person At Walmart And you got a Seven carat ring on Everyone's gonna know It's lab grown So I Love lab grown Peace love Love lab grown In fact my boyfriend Got me Something that was Oh He's gonna hate this So he won't listen Exclusive He got me Diamond earrings For Christmas And these are the ones I wear Or like these are Really big I borrowed these But like I wear Like sizable ones You could land a plane On those But these are these are lab grown and by the way I borrowed these I borrowed these but I wear sizable ones because they're lab grown also they were gifted because I am a creator and I get free shit whatever he buys me these diamond earrings which were they looked like a speck of dust like so small and he was like they were really expensive I was like are they allowed he goes no and I go why the fuck would you buy these I hope you threw them into the dishwasher I was like I love them so much maybe for my second or third hole like I really do love them but I meant more just like don't spend the money You're like I love them so much I could swallow them And nothing would happen Anyway obviously I was very gracious about it I want to see what Claude said When you guys listen to the tape back I swear you told me to go fuck myself No I didn't You're misremembering But I think when it comes to the engagement ring I just like There's something that I want it to be real Is that fucked up?

52:02No I think people have their preferences But then it's like the Why and then no one knows and then you could spend that money on the wedding, on a house, on other things, on the honeymoon. You know why I think it's good to have a real one? Okay, tell me. For your wedding. And don't say the resale value. No, it's not even. Because I hate when people do that. I mean, no one's buying a fucking old one. Yeah, it's not an investment. You can take the Persian Jew out of Iran. Sorry, that wasn't directed at you. You know what you can get on 48th Street for that. That wasn't directed at you. I think that it's kind of nice to have like a real-time gauge of where you guys were financially.

52:38when you got married. And you get that with a real diamond. Like with my speck of dust earrings. The speck of dust. That's where you are. That's where it is. That's where poor Felix is. The guy's, he's out of his comfort zone. He's not wearing what he wants to wear. He's trying his best. He bought you, he spent all his money to get these diamonds. You fucking chuck them at his face, at his neck, at his unprotected neck. Maybe I should go to Claude and ask for help in my relationship. Do you get him gifts? He likes golf, so. Oh, so you allow, your gift is allowing him to play golf. obviously that's a huge gift no i i i respect my boyfriend so much and if he wants i sound like such a bitch yeah i want to read felix's book i love the earrings felix's book coming out yeah felix as far as weddings go are you like you're gonna show up to the bachelorette party i'm i'm pro abolish the bachelorette party i've been on record saying abolish the bachelorette party it's just not fun it's not fun for everyone anyone and i think the whole story do you think It's because it's like The amalgamation Of all these like Different friend groups And you're all like fake Like being best friends For a weekend And you're like That being told What to wear And then you're also Taking the time off of work You're told what to wear You're in an Airbnb Which is the worst place You can be I'm doing hotels for mine If I ever do I mean hotels I mean it's a little better But it's also just like Why?

53:53I'm supposed to go to Miami With like All these random girlfriends Like your camp friend From 20 years ago Like it just seems Well no That's your choice Like you don't have to Make them a bride time I say no I usually say no Wow. Do you feel a bachelor party is better than a bachelorette party? I think like an event is cool. Go to a really fun dinner if everyone wants to do like ketamine therapy. I don't know. But it just like again, I really again, I'm just wow. I'm really showing everything. Yeah, please. I actually it's so funny. Bring that up. The most anxiety I have about the wedding is the bachelorette.

54:27Really? When I think about it, it's the like the girls, the groups of girls who don't know each other hanging out. It's like the influencers with the doctors. Like, I'm like, what the fuck? The doctors are going to be prescribing the influencers. Oh, my God. Like, do we do group TikToks? Like, the lawyer is going to hate that. You know what I mean? Like, and I'm just like, that, and when I think about my wedding, I'm excited about everything. That is specifically what gives me the most anxiety. Okay, so maybe I don't do it. I just don't want to feel like I'm making sure everyone's happy. Like, I just want to.

54:55Maybe I just have to get really fucked up. You have to let go. You have to let go of that. There is an element. As someone who has so many different friend groups, and I always try to control it, when you let it go, they figure out how to play with each other. And don't act like, it is for you. The way that I'm not engaged. Yeah, I'm like, okay, so I think we do three nights, four days. Serena Kerrigan. Wow. Guys, I kind of want to come back. You absolutely have to come back. You are my favorite guest. Absolutely. Really? Ugh, so fun. This was like riveting. This was really riveting. Dan was like, don't text.

55:27No, I don't. Why was that your favorite guest? We make fun of a lot of... Guess me up. You were my favorite guest. There. I said it. It's really easy to talk to someone confident. Hey, I'm going to go a little further. I hope Felix dies. No. And then I'm next in line. Yeah, I'll wear whatever the fuck you want me to wear. Dan dress is really good. Is this my second time falling in love on the podcast? Let's go. New book. Podcast circuit really does it for me, huh? I know. You really can really turn it on. Everyone, please go buy Serena Carrigan. Man, also, I swear to God. You did buy it. I did buy it.

55:56Oh, you bought it. Guys, I'm serious. Let's fucking date or the car game. It's a companion, I would say. Best sex to your life. Really? After the car game. You're going to have to try it. We had it in my college house. Beds were broken. Beds were broken. Beds were broken over this game. Where can people find you, follow you? Serena Kerrigan on every single platform. Oh. Easy breezy. Amazing. Thank you for being here. You guys are fantastic. But I actually do want to come back. Oh, absolutely. We're doing this every week, baby. Every time. Thanks for listening to this episode of Second Thought.

56:27If you're listening on Apple or Spotify, please give the show a follow. And if you have a second, consider leaving us a five-star rating or write us a nice review. It really helps us out. You can also get my weekly culture column by subscribing to the free press at vfp.com.

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