Jeff Ross on Tom Brady, Trump, and the Roast of Kevin Hart

31:49She was an icon to me. So I had to mention her. That was going to be for my own personal. There's almost like a dignity in being made fun of. Yeah. It's like it shows that it's like, I think you could take it. I don't think you're a wimp. And I think you're important. And you're important. You're made. You're so made. I know this is going to bounce off you. Right. You're so made. It's going to bounce off. I love that. It's not a takedown. I hate when they say takedown or whatever. Never doing that. Never doing that. I'd have to really be mad at somebody. So there's like, things go in and out of fashion and comedy.

32:20Yeah. Improv was really big around like Obama years. And then it got more like edgy, I think in recent years, maybe like post Me Too and Dan, we talk a lot about like the alt comedy scene and the traditional comedy scene. And something that I think there's been a renaissance in is the word retarded. And do you think it's naughty and fun or lazy and mean or does it depend on when it's deployed? I think it depends completely on when it's deployed. I think it's always gonna ding people and maybe it should, which means it's provocative. So if it's gotta be hilarious, and I think anything handled by professionals is okay.

33:01It's like plutonium. It's like you've got to be careful. Exactly. I also feel like it's less about the word and it's more of like a bellwether of like where we are. Like, okay, we went through this period of you can't say so many things. Yeah. And then it's like, all right, let me try to say one of the most provocative things I can say and then see how it lands. Like I think it was less about the word and more about like is the pendulum swinging back. Right. It's like it's different than the George Carlin seven dirty word thing where he's like kind of using it as material and it's more like I'm signaling to you what kind of where I'm willing to go.

33:38Right. I think it's all intention just like any roast joke. It's where you're coming from with it. If it's mean spirited it's going to land that way and it's going to ding people. That roast was the one that brought retarded back. Right? I don't think I think about it like that. It also brought roasting back. Yeah, it was a cultural, it brought fun back. It brought fun back. But when you're writing or seeing people's jokes before it aired, was there a conversation about retarded? Was there like, hey, we don't know how this is going to go? No, no, no, never. We're not nitpicking like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

34:10Very rarely will the roast, the producers try to censor a comic. Yeah. The best we'll do is go, well, you got retarded here three times. Maybe you cut one.

34:27can we talk about your special thank you finally no i'm saying thank you for bringing it up yeah i want to talk about it i'm gonna watch it and everything oh my god it's so brilliant it's called take a banana for the ride it touches on roasting and the things we've been talking about but it's actually kind of even more zoomed out about these bigger themes grief loss resilience memory and you actually started working on something about yourself like an autobiographical set something like 30 years ago yeah what went wrong the first time how come it took so long for this to come together well when I was starting out as a comic I wasn't really it wasn't really hitting I wasn't really getting booked on the cool shows the stand-up shows the MTV and I was good but I wasn't great and I knew that there was more to it than I was giving myself and giving the crowd and by coincidence this alt comedy scene emerged in New York and and the the idea of it was comedians would go to these places downtown and you couldn't repeat material and there was no microphone so you'd be like 40 50 people in a room and you just talked and there was sometimes not even a stage you just stood in a clear area and talked to people michael ian black would bring stuff from his apartment and sell it and do jokes about all the stuff and mark marnum would do monologues about his inner angst and janine garofalo would go up with notes and go through her observations of the day or whatever so it was not traditional wind up punchline correct okay and I wouldn't that's so I would always so I started I started just going there and telling short stories about my grandfather my pop jack my mom's dad my best friend uh we lived together he was my roommate when I was an open mic comedian I'm wearing his ring right now and he was a character when we lived together all my friends became his friends we ate every meal together i threw him a birthday party when he turned 79 he said champ tell everybody i'm 80 i'll get better presents that way and he was just funny like he was funny sarcastic gritty but he was like a tough guy like a world war ii tough guy construction worker he uh the u.s navy captured one U-boat during all of World War II.

37:05And the Nazis were kicking America's ass in the sea, sinking every boat. And this one naval captain went and got a sub, captured it, and kept the crew alive and brought them all back to America, sneaky, to learn how to use it. It changed the whole direction of the war. My grandfather was a shipbuilder stationed in baltimore one day he pulled a ring off and made pulled a bolt off and made this ring and i would always wear it he told me to wear it this is from a nazi submarine this is actually from the u505 which is now on display at a museum in chicago wow so i went and i toured it and found matches for it all along.

37:52Of the bolts. Yeah, it was pretty cool. And my grandfather, he became like, he would talk about world beater energy, tough guy energy, and he had a big impact on me. I lost my parents when I was a teenager. And I'd save their love letters, so I'd read their love letters at these little alternative comedy rooms. Oh, my God. I would talk about my grandfather giving me money for a bus and a banana. He'd say, take a banana for the ride. And that was kind of his tough guy way of saying I love you. And I didn't really know what I was doing. I was just sort of like feeling it out. And somebody from the HBO Comedy Festival heard it and said, that was really good, that story.

38:31How many of those do you have? And I lied and I said, I don't know, three or four. He goes, I'm going to be back in a month and put half an hour together and I'll come see you. Okay. So I set all that up and I wound up doing it at festivals and starting to put this show together that was an hour long that was this cathartic, sort of like open, vulnerable, no microphone, and with pictures of my parents and my grandfather. And I hadn't fully processed losing him or losing them at that point, but I was kind of just doing it on stage. But the main part of it was mourning. I said I learned at an early age, human beings are made to mourn and then move on.

39:14you can't mourn forever or a part of you dies and I would tell that to my friends when they would lose loved ones and I was like everybody's rabbi in my college years and in my 20s because no one had really experienced loss except me I started doing this show at festivals from like 95 96 97 I maybe did it 20 30 times there was no real places to do it I didn't have a a real mission with it but I could tell people really liked it way better than anything else I was doing in stand-up or the roast hadn't started yet for me didn't really know what else to do so I was doing these old comedy rooms and these monologues about my family and loss bouncing back but I would leave and I'd be miserable it took a lot out of you yeah and And it just kind of ran out.

40:09I just couldn't anymore. I had my baby book on stage. I was reading my mom's stuff. That's intense. And I lost it after a show. I couldn't find it. And it devastated me. And it was like losing a family member. It was like my mom's handwriting. I didn't have any video of her. And I was just like, I can't do this anymore. And I just stopped doing it. And decades go by. And every few months, a few times a year, somebody would stop me and go, whatever happened to that show about your grandfather you and your grandfather take a banana for the ride i'll do that again i said you know a few years ago towards the end of the pandemic i guess gilbert godfrey bob sagat and norm mcdonald all died within eight months i think my manager said you should go back and look at your old show what were you saying about death then and i looked at it i was like yeah i still feel all of these things except now i actually can entertain people with it like it can really be a show so I started developing it and I had a sort of thing about my dogs and my friends and people I've lost and how I dealt with it and it was never sad I would make it funny and I added piano and violin accompaniment sort of singing and started singing about the tough Jews that I knew in my life as sort of an origin story and I alopecia and losing my hair and eyebrows and eyelashes and how I got through that and then my three friends that I mentioned and then my dogs and then I almost died right when the show was already getting too long I went in for a colonoscopy right after that Tom Brady rose I was like shit now I guess I gotta talk about that and how I got through that because I fucking survived and people are gonna want to know for themselves how to do that obviously I'm not a doctor but the mental part of it the the the drive the fortitude to keep going and I realized in workshops I did them at the village underground and some theaters in LA that I was still kind of miserable after the show I would do the show that I'd go outside and I was like sad but I realized more recently yeah but people were still like that was fucking great and it made me want to call my kid and I wrote a letter to my son and I adopted a dog after I saw your show, a senior dog.

42:34So it was working, but it wasn't working for me. But I would keep doing it because I realized people were getting something out of it. It was a gift. So I said, how do I make it work for me? And for whatever reason, I had my stylist, Roger Forker, make... Your stylist? Yeah. You have a stylist? Well, he builds my roast costumes. Oh, okay, okay, got it. Yeah, I know, I know. It's hard to tell. I'll wear the orange T-shirt. and I said I want a suit that looks like a banana a yellow suit with bruises on it and he made me one for the New York Comedy Festival it just looked like dinosaur shit all over my suit it did not look great sorry Raj but it gave me a layer of protection a thick skin a banana skin yeah and it also gave me like a layer of silliness like I was able to be more vulnerable because I was also being not taking myself so seriously and all that combined where I can now do the show in the costume take it off hang it up and leave in my regular clothes and I was fine I was like wow okay bring it on let's tour I can do it every night I could do it twice a day it was great yeah I had no idea what went into the show I did not know this the history of it like this and now i'm getting letters all day long instagram my website from people that are just like i'm going through this in my life and this show helped me this and i took this from it and it's it's kind of amazing it's also about caregiving care take like taking care of people who can't take care of themselves i took care of my grandfather and then decades later when I got sick my sister took care of me so there's all that in there too about caregiving and how Meals on Wheels helped us help me as a young comic take care of my grandfather they would drop off a hot meal so that I could take the bus into New York with a banana and and pursue my dream so there's a lot of there's a lot to the show so personal and it's kind of like like I I can't believe it's on Netflix.

44:47I can't believe it's out there. It's so good. It's so good. It's my favorite one-man show of the past couple decades. I don't think I've been so affected by a show. And the crazy thing is I know you, and we're buddies, and I know that you're the nicest guy in the world. A lot of people who know you from the roasts might not know this part of you. And to go to a show of yours, and you're like this guru up there. Like it must be so shocking to the people who don't know you outside of the roast. Like what reactions have you gotten from that? Yeah. Who only say that like Lisa Lampanelli looks like a beat up vagina.

45:24And then all of a sudden you're up there and you're like, my grandfather, I took care of him. It's so amazing. I think, I don't know. I don't know, Dan. I, I, I, I mean, every now and then I'll get a mean tweet going, what is this bullshit? I wanted to laugh. But I'm like, well, there's plenty of laughs. It opens with a roast montage, and it's kind of the underbelly of the roast guy. It's like how I got away with being mean was by actually being nice and lifting people up. I get a lot of sick and disabled people at my shows. You roast people at the end, and it's a guy whose hands exploded, a woman who was called the suicide hotline.

46:10And you were like, and is your hairdresser suicidal too? Like, it's just like, oh, it's like they want it though. There's nothing, you know, my best buddy is disabled. I just spent the whole weekend with him, Mark. And there's nothing worse than treating disabled people as if they're dumb, don't get it, can't handle it. That's the insult. Well, do you also think, because I grew up with my grandparents too. Yeah. And I'm wondering if you think spending so much time with them kind of made you think, oh, yeah, he's just a person. He's not like an old guy. We were more like brothers than we were grandson and grandfather.

46:45Like we were both single. I was 24, 23. He was 79. You know, and, you know, Pop, did you get lucky last night? I gave her a jump. That's how he talked. And, you know. Gave her a jump. Yeah. You know, did she enjoy it? She yelled bingo. All right. Good for you, Pop. you know like old people are just like us amazing did you have you did you grow up with your grandparents um yes not like in the same house but uh my grandfather was in the same town as me but he was like a serious he was more of a serious middle eastern man none of this goofy well it's a very semitic show yes it starts with this like amazing song about the things jews invented called don't fuck with the jews called don't fuck with the jews exactly barbie dolls teddy bears nuclear powered submarines you know what it is i i was like i wanted to do something showy broadway-ish an opening number with music and that's kind of and it was like well what's my origin story it's like you know i come from this family of kosher caterers in newark new jersey led by my great grandma rosie who was like you know she was the boss of the family and she started at this catering hall in Newark in the 50s with her three sons.

48:07Before women really had big businesses like that, she was really like, you know, she was super cool. And I was like, well, let me honor her and also make a fun song showing off Jewish stuff. You know, it's interesting. I feel like there's some of these comics who do Jewish comedy, but Jewish comedy 2.0. Like, I think Larry David is very much Jewish comedy, even though he's totally secular. Do you feel like you're a part of that kind of evolution of Jewish comedy? Like roasts are probably, they were basically a Jewish thing, right? Yeah. I was at the Friars Club 100 years ago, mostly Jewish comics.

48:46I made a decision early on, and I always, in my head, credit Adam Sandler. You know, I was doing country clubs and whatever gig I could do to get paid, Jewish country clubs, Italian country clubs. But back then, if you did a joke about Jewish people having big noses or being cheap, it would kill. You'd get a big laugh. And I could fill the time and get booked back. Then Adam did the Hanukkah song on SNL. And then he was just doing other cool songs. And I was like, fuck. I think this is how it's got to be. I got to drop all this. Like, I can't be the guy making fun of Jews. I want to be cool. I want to be a cool Jew like the Beastie Boys.

49:33Right. Like Adam Sandler. Why do you think Jews are so funny? Make up for our small penises. See, there I go again. Yeah, you just said you don't do that anymore. Well, that's why I did it. I don't know why. Why do you think? Oh, I think Jews are funny because people who have experienced collective trauma are funny. Because as you said, the only way out is really to laugh at it. Right. And if we didn't make fun of it and move on, we would be looking into like the black abyss of terror all the time. Like you just can't do that. I also think like Jews have really good noses for danger and opportunity and therefore opportunities for jokes are included in that.

50:15I think being an outsider, having a lens on what the inside culture is doing, that automatically you can observe and you can make fun of. I think that's the reason Jews, Irish people and black people are the funniest, I think. because they were always outsiders looking in at the culture and being able to make fun of it from the outside. Right. It's like something about being not normative or not the mainstream. I always felt like that applied to people. The same sort of principles that you're giving to Jewish people, I always thought there were a lot of comedians from New Jersey and a lot of comedians from Canada for the same reasons.

50:54As a kid growing up in New Jersey, all my radio stations, TV stations, sports teams were New York. I was an outsider looking in. A little bit of a chip. A little bit of an outsider's lens. Canadians, similar. They're looking into America. Steve Martin, Martin Short. Not Steve Martin, but John Candy, Martin Short, and about 100. Everyone. Mike Myers. Yeah. I sort of also think you are as good of a comedian as you are a host. like you're really good at bringing the energy making fun of yourself do you think that comes from clifton manor and can you tell the listener what clifton manor is clinton manor clinton avenue in newark was my great grandma rosie's catering hall and it passed down to my to her three sons my uncle murray ran the kitchen my pop herb my grandfather was the band leader and my uncle albie cook the books that was the joke that i said of the show and then that passed down to my dad's generation and then he owned it and moved to union new jersey and that's when i worked there was a little kid rolling meatballs and making fruit cup and parking cars and checking coats and whatever i had to do and i learned ethnic humor there ball busting there were people from all walks of life working there.

52:16Everyone in the kitchen was Haitian. The guy making the fruit cups was Russian. The guy making the jello molds was Hungarian. The waitresses were all Irish and Scottish. And then you had a whole new group of brides and grooms and their families every week. So there was this great mix of people. And because I was the boss's son, I would get tortured. I would get made fun by everybody. And I learned to take a joke, but I learned to dish it out in return. And yeah, those were formative roast years for me. It's so good. Family businesses are also just ridiculous. You should know. I know. Well, my parents sell carpet.

52:55You have a family business, right? Also carpet. Also carpet. Yeah. Wow. That's great. Yeah, we have that in common. Both of our dads sell rugs. Kosher catering is what they did. It was a famous place. Judy Blume wrote about Clinton Manor in one of her novels in Wifey. Judy Blume said it was every Jersey girl's dream to grow up and have a big schmaltzy wedding at Clinton Manor. Oh, my God. And I would say that every show on Broadway at the Nederlander Theater, we did eight shows a week for eight weeks. And it's so funny. Like, you're a quick story I haven't told. And then it comes down to, then we shoot, we have the weekend left.

53:36Two shows Saturday, two shows Sunday, and then I'm done. On the Saturday, I'm shooting it for Netflix. I do those two. That's high pressure. And they go great. I can't party after because I have a matinee at 3 o 'clock the next day and then my last show. So it's emotional. I've been working on this show for 30 years. Here it is. This is it. Probably not going to do it again. So I'm shot it for Netflix. Everyone's going to see it. But I wake up Sunday for the matinee, and I'm laying in bed like we all do, and I'm in like a fetal position going, it's over, I can't believe it's over. And I start fixating on the few people that didn't come to the run that would have meant a lot, good friends who just didn't show up for me.

54:29And then I go, Jeff, don't do this to yourself. Fuck them. What's the difference? who cares focus on you might get a surprise today today's the last day someone's gonna surprise you okay it's a beautiful day it's a sunday and i go to work and i'm getting into my yellow banana suit and getting mic'd up and the stage manager hands me a beautiful handwritten note from judy bloom amazing author there was a big that i mentioned every show but never thought about as an actual human being that could be there just like just a she was just like a name that I was pulling from my family history just like you'd reference any other cultural icon but yes she's not just still alive she's thriving and looks great shows up with her husband and her friends come on and they're in the second row and I have this beautiful note and she wants to come backstage after and of course I make a big thing and I make a joke about her and it was just like oh yeah it was just perfect just a perfect way to end the Broadway run yeah what a high brow way to end it yeah Judy Blume in the audience come on I said Judy I said you know her famous book it's I said are you there Judy it's me Jeff I said I just reread your book I got my period for the first time she was adorable did you say that from the stage?

55:58Yeah. Oh, that's so good. It's so good. It's so amazing. Can comedians still joke about the Middle East? Are people less committed to religion now? And most importantly, is it ever okay to toast a fresh bagel? These are the kinds of questions being pondered on Wondering Jews with Michal and Noam. Hosts Michal Bitten and Noam Weissman are two bold voices in the Jewish community. They're intellectual, provocative, and deeply curious. If you've ever been to a chaotic and loud Passover Seder, this show will probably remind you of that. And there's always a seat at the table for someone interesting like New York Times columnist Brett Stevens or author Sarah Horwitz.

56:33It's smart without being stuffy and joyful without being shallow. Whether you're deeply observant, totally secular, or not Jewish at all, this show will probably have something you'll love to disagree with. Search Wondering Jews with Michal and Noam on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube and grab the link in our show notes. We're going to round third here, but I want you to tell the listener how you came to be the owner of a geriatric German shepherd. Oh, well, I never had dogs. And I had a girlfriend who had a Dutch shepherd, Luna, who actually died just a few days ago. But I never had dogs, and I really loved her dog.

57:16And the pandemic hit. We were living together, and we're reading all these Instagram stories from all these desperate shelters. she brings this beast back to the yard fucked up teeth breath smelled like gin this old german shepherd it was drunk mid-40s gambling problem like not a dog you want okay don't talk about damn like this all right wow and you know luna the dutch shepherd wanted no part of it having this like street dog in the house but and we had to like tie her up to hose her down she could barely walk and she still got her period dripping blood all over the house she's like she's just a mess and i remember thinking i could never love this dog i love this dutch shepherd luna but i could never love this dog this dog this is mean and then we break up you and the girlfriend she leaves with her dog and leaves this old crotchety anti-semitic bitch in my backyard and now we're just two lonely souls in the pandemic two old dogs so i take her to the vet the vet's like oh you could get her this meds and maybe she'll live another year and so i do it i do everything she needs and we're just kind of like looking at each other every morning like we're just kind of stuck with each other and I would you know took a couple weeks for her to even walk down the stairs to the bedroom like she was hobbling in pain I noticed she's starting to get a little younger like she's moving a little better as she got the right meds wasn't sleeping outside was getting fed a proper diet and one day I wake up and her tail's wagging for the first time I'm like fuck she's happy maybe I'm a little happier took her to a dog park she starts making friends and I realized that this is my dog now this is her forever home if you watch take a banana for the ride on Netflix you'll see a big solid tribute to Nana I sing as the German shepherd with a German Nazi accent.

59:36You took me in when I was alone. You let me shed all over your home. We cuddled in bed like husband and wife. I gave you fleas. You gave me life. It's just a tale as old as time. A guy does not want a dog, does not want in his house. I was talking to someone who got their dog open heart surgery last week it required a an organ from another dog and i'm like dude this is crazy i mean she fell at the dog park and that's that's the story i tell in the show is me carrying her to the car to take her to the vet with the same feeling in my chest i felt decades earlier carrying my pop jack to the car to take him to the er for the last time I even tap his ring on the fence of the dog park.

1:00:25So, yeah. I do want to touch on this idea that comedians have always been like gadflies and envelope pushers, and they want to know what challenge what's going on in polite society. But lately, it's been true that they've become more important to the political conversation itself. So they're not doing the things on the edges. Last election was called the podcast election. Right. because Trump and Vance were going on all these guys' podcasts, Rogue and Theovan, Hinchcliffe, Tim Dillon, have become really massive political and cultural forces. Did you see that happening, this weird marriage between politics and comedy?

1:01:08Well, I feel like that was happening in a different way. It's just podcasting got bigger. But I feel like The Daily Show and Colbert were a big part of Obama's election and maybe pushing other people to the top at different times. I think comedy, the world got more fragmented. When I was a kid, it was like Johnny Carson didn't do politics. Jay Leno didn't really do politics. Letterman didn't really do that. So it's all kind of a modern thing. And podcasting just got bigger, bigger than television. So that's why I think we called it. at a certain point they called it probably there was a tv election right yeah where where kennedy and nixon debated and that was a big deal so i just think and i guess because the audience is so fragmented it gave it gave politics it gave podcasters a lane to push up the people they wanted i actually think it's kind of cool i mean journalism is so all over the place why shouldn't it be comedians especially youtube and netflix there's no sponsors so comedians have this unique lane freedom to say whatever they want they're not as informed sometimes which is unfortunate you know i wouldn't claim to be an expert on anything either but but there is that thing of uh what we were talking about before where the roasts are really good at humanizing and having to empathize with someone that you probably wouldn't normally do.

1:02:43And so comedians have that. They have that skill of being able to... You get people to open up. Yes. 20-something years ago, when the U.S. forces occupied Iraq, I was part of the first USO tour that went in. Because I wasn't a journalist, because I was just a comedian, people were telling me things they wouldn't tell a journalist. I remember shooting this on my Super 8 camera. I made a documentary. It was on Showtime. I'll have to re-release it at some point, called Patriot Act, a Jeff Ross home movie. But I remember people telling me about getting shot or they would show me where the mortar hit their tent and they were saying things that they wouldn't say to their family, that they wouldn't say to the journalists, that they wouldn't say to their commanding officers comedians have a I don't know it's like friendly you walk down the street with me everyone they don't talk to me like a celebrity they talk to me like I'm their buddy right like we play golf together or we're on a we're in a bowling league or something or we're in a you know fantasy football league everyone fist bumps me and high fives me and I think comedians I think that's kind of unique they don't get nervous the way you want a rock star or if you met lebron you know i'm the lebron of roasting people don't treat me like i'm a goat they just treat me like i'm their pal right i mean you're also one of the more again like you're i don't know that that's just all comedians though you are a genuinely sweet man thank you it's true and i feel like people realize that once they hear you say a couple words like there's definitely some who were inaccessible and you're definitely not that so anyone if you see jeff frost run up to him he loves it he loves when you ask him for money for money ask me for money give me a hug let's take a selfie yeah um you've said comedians are your tribe yeah before anything any any other identity yeah why is that true for you and do you ever have disagreements within the tribe where you're just like oh god like he said that of course of course and you know but and i'll probably you know there'll be times where I'll regret saying this but like before I'm an American before I'm a Jew before I'm from New Jersey I'm a comedian and I think the reason is if I walk into a party I don't go to the Jersey people I don't even go to the Jewish people I don't go to the white people I go to the comedians I go if they're all in one area or if there's no comedians there, I'll be by myself till one shows up.

1:05:20And I don't know why. Why do you think, Dan? I think it's we speak a different language. We have a weird job that no one else can really understand. To put yourself up in front of groups of strangers every night to be judged is like a weird way to make a living and to get your kicks. And I feel like civilians just don't understand that. They don't understand how we have long leashes to rip on each other and be okay with it. Have we lost our collectively thick skin? And how do you grow one back like on a banana? I think the metaphor I make in the Netflix show is thick skin is something we all need to get through life, right?

1:06:06You know, bananas have this thick skin and inside we're mushy, we're soft, right? and it protects us but maybe most importantly bananas they grow in bunches they protect each other and i kind of love all that like that's what we need to do is like stick up for each other laugh with each other i don't think we've lost our sense of humor i think the internet is where we're getting this from like you know let's use the kevin hart roast the internet is divisive and everyone's angry and everyone has a take and everyone's heightening their take for clicks they're going beyond what they actually think to get clicks no one's very few people are actually offended and most people pretend to be offended because that's their commerce that's how they get the clicks and the looks and right pay their bills i understand that but if you go out in the real world this is the kevin hart roast 15 million people must be up to 20 million people now that's a three hour show okay that's a lot of viewing minutes for something that people don't like yeah in other words everyone actually likes it if you walk out of here we're in times square everyone's high-fiving me great job on the roast where's your red leather suit kevin hart says hello go get him who's next you should do this one you should do that one No one's thinking about controversy or jokes that upset them.

1:07:40Nothing like that. Right. So when I believe that we haven't lost it, I believe that it's still there. Who is next? Good question. Who do you want? Who do you want? Who's the white whale? Drake. Oh, that's a great one. Oh, yeah. That'd be awesome. That would be really, really good. Drake would be really fun. And he has a great sense of humor. Yeah, he does have a great sense of humor. You do need someone who can laugh at themselves. Yeah, he's a showbiz kid. Kanye apparently was at the Kevin Hart roast. Whoa. Timothee Chalamet was there. Oh, Timmy would be great. J-Lo was there. J-Lo would also be great.

1:08:16Yeah. She's just been in the business so long. These big stars are definitely hovering. They're circling. They want it. Yeah. Kim K would be great. That would be a three-part miniseries. That would be so good. It's got to be somebody that's worldwide. Yeah, it's so true. It's got to be an international superstar to really get the audience. For someone like Elon, is that even possible to do? Because he's like talking so much about himself in public and making jokes online. Does that make it harder? Because Elon loves comedy and I've seen him at shows before, I think Elon would be a great roast.

1:08:53Yeah, I think he'd be a great roast. I think he could handle it. Not sure he would get all of it. Right. Sometimes I feel like it goes right over his head. He's not really sure why. He's like, why are you saying I look like this? I don't look like... I don't know if he'd always buy into the conceit of the jokes. I don't know. I think Elon would be... Now that he's out of politics, I'd be really into an Elon roast. I imagine at the end of it when he has to rail into everyone else, he'd obviously not be able to do that pretty well. He'd probably have to hire... Use his money to hire a comedian to do his jokes.

1:09:24Anything off limits in a Jeff Ross roast? Roasting me? Very sensitive about my looks. so rather people didn't mention that. Really? That's why I wear crazy outfits to deflect. No, I'd be such a hypocrite if I was like, you can't make fun of my nose. Right? He said that you looked like you fell out of a lava lamp or something. It was like... I'm the easiest target ever. I look like Bruce Willis after he passes away. Or wait, you said I look like Jeff Bezos if instead of inventing Amazon, he invented mozzarella sticks. mozzarella sticks is one of like the fun you have a knack for remembering and sending these jokes back yeah it's really good i don't want these up here you think i want that up here i could have a life and instead it's just reams of these like ramped up one-liners about jeff ross i'm impressed what makes for a good insult will you insult me no why because you're wearing your shirt inside out i think what are you what are you dressed as a deflated jiffy lube popcorn thing i don't know what that is how could it be ironed and wrinkled at the same time i don't know what's going on it's like a used napkin from a chinese restaurant i've been trying to figure out for an hour and a half what the fuck you're wearing suzy but i don't know it's like two shirts sewn together it's like something from that seinfeld big sleeve episode but yet i don't know what's the puffy sleeve the puffy sleeves but got it's got two things to make it tighter but then a third one around the under your right armpit that has no use at all what is that third string coming down i thought a tampon was coming out of your shirt i don't know what was going on wow anyway anyway i got dressed this morning i was like don't wear the puffy shirt he's gonna he's gonna he's gonna get you i was like no he's my no i'm really flattered wearing your worst shirt it was so it is my worst shirt we're all wearing our worst shirts jeff ross is coming in i don't up to do my hair just whatever it is just fine it's all good you're wearing your bracelet from the from the from the uh heiress tour still your grandfather's watch an engagement ring you never got oh my god this is the best everybody watch take a banana for the ride take a banana for the ride on netflix baby epic jeff ross thank you for coming on second thought thanks love you Nixon 4.

1:11:49The best. Nixon 4. I love you, Jeff. Nixon 4, baby. Love you, Dan. Thank you, everybody.