Legendary Screenwriter on Hollywood, the Future of Entertainment—and Compulsive Gambling

26:03I'm not sure if that would be enough. On the, I'm like jumping around from Kalshita Polymarket, but I think the point still holds, which is that you sort of talked about the numbers, how often people, how likely they are to get addicted, become compulsive gamblers. And you wrote - Not many do. Not many do. Very few do. But I think it's important to sort of state that like off ramps are also on ramps like a lot of people who would have never vape or who would never smoke cigarettes now vape and i think a lot of people who would never maybe um you know go to the horse track uh to bet or call a betting line to do a bet now that they have it in their pockets it's so easy and accessible they want to do it yeah i mean that's the argument that that that is a narrative out there i wrote about it in the essay well you're right the numbers are going to exist whether sports betting is legal or not but the damage to the compulsive gambler is far worse when it's illegal.

26:55Can you explain what you mean by that? Yeah, it's the difference between credit and debit gambling, which is if you are on FanDuel or DraftKings, you have to put in your account, let's say$5 ,000. Right. And when you lose, you've lost$5 ,000. With a bookie, when it's illegal, the bookmakers don't, you don't have to give them$5 ,000. Right. You can bet, they give you a number, they're like, oh, it's cool. You go up to 20, go up to 50. And then - Obviously, inside of ice, have you go higher, higher, higher. And they get their money. They have ways to get their money. So you have much more chance of losing more money as a compulsive gambler, money you don't have.

27:34When it's illegal. When it's illegal with debit gambling. And so I think the FanDuel's and the DraftKings actually, theoretically, assuming that they're putting bookies out of business, are healthier for the compulsive gambler. But then the counter argument, which might be true, is it creates more casual gamblers than when it's not legal. But I don't know if most of those casual gamblers are just enjoying it's an entertainment. I think it's good money spent if they can have a good time and not lose control. Yeah. You also write, and I thought this was really interesting, you had some caveats to what you felt the regulation should be around sports betting.

28:13You wrote, no advertising, no player props, in-game wagers, or micro bets. What's a micro bet? They go crazy on these things. So it's during the game. Is he going to hit this free throw? Oh, okay, got it. Or is this player the over-under for the third quarter is two and a half rebounds? Like really, really minor stuff that just creates the game. It's just too weird of a dose. It's like just have money on the game. That's my personal opinion. Right, right. It just creates more degeneracy than casual entertainment. Right. But the marketing, the big part of the marketing, which I think is the issue, is the fact that, and I'm not going to call out DraftKings or FanDuel or specifically, I don't know which ones do, which ones do less, but they do market towards young men.

28:59Right. They market towards 15, 17, and 19-year-olds. And I just don't, I think there should be regulation to prevent that. Right. If the state or federal regulation can prevent it, they should try the same way they do with alcohol and cigarettes. And just like, you know, if you're an adult, you should be able to place a wager on a game, but not if you're a kid, basically. I think the model is cigarettes. You don't get cigarette advertisements for 16-year-olds in Teen Vogue or some shit. I don't know what it is, but just follow that model. I'm hoping you could describe, and then we're going to bring Dan in to talk about some of the hot issues of the day.

29:36What would it take to—you described this service called Sportsline. What was this? Oh, my God. What was it? When I was a kid? Well, like I said, I'm really old. And so this was way before 24-7 news. This was obviously before the internet. This was before you had access to scores. And so when I was, so there was a number, 976-1212. I believe it was 976-1212. And it was just a sports phone. I really am sure you're right. And they would update. They go, the guy had a very specific point. I'm going to do it. Please. You've got sports phone. Next update is 15 past the hour. We are, Golden State, 102 in the third quarter, Lakers, 91.

30:18And it would go through all the scores. So when you had money on the games, you'd call Sports Phone every 15 minutes. To get the score. To get the score because you had money on the games. But I think it cost money to call Sports Phone. I think it was like 25 cents a call. Are you serious? I think. It was like a long distance call? I think it was a, yeah, it was a business. Oh my God, they're always getting you. Whoever watches this, if they remember, if they can fill in the blanks that I don't remember, was Sports Phone 25 cents a minute. And who remembers Sports Phone? Yeah, yeah. Okay, Alan Loeb, thank you for joining me for this section of Second Thought.

30:52I think we're going to bring in Dana Duke.

30:57Can comedians still joke about the Middle East? Are people less committed to religion now? And most importantly, is it ever okay to toast a fresh bagel? These are the kinds of questions being pondered on Wondering Jews with Michal and Noam. Hosts Michal Bitten and Noam Weissman are two bold voices in the Jewish community. They're intellectual, provocative, and deeply curious. If you've ever been to a chaotic and loud Passover Seder, this show will probably remind you of that. And there's always a seat at the table for someone interesting, like New York Times columnist Brett Stevens or author Sarah Horwitz.

31:28It's smart without being stuffy and joyful without being shallow. Whether you're deeply observant, totally secular, or not Jewish at all, this show will probably have something you'll love to disagree with. Search Wondering Jews with Michal and Noam on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube, and grab the link in our show notes. Okay, great. So what everyone's talking about this week is that the MV Hondias cruise ship has begun its evacuation process in Spain's, uh-oh, Canary Islands on Sunday. We should have gotten you checked. The ship, which carried about 150 passengers, was forced to dock due to a hantavirus outbreak on board.

32:03A lot of people are worried that it's sort of rhyming with the COVID pandemic. Did you see any hantavirus victims while you were in Spain? I didn't. I did not. No. Listen, as if we needed any more evidence that we shouldn't have cruises. I don't I don't I don't agree. A hundred percent. We have an amazing piece in the free press. And it's a it's an ode to cruises from Jillian Letterman that I encourage everyone to read. And it's it's fun and people love them. Have you ever been on one? Listen, yes, I have been on one. Okay. And sure, it's a little fun. Is it worth outbreaks of this kind that are going to take the world down again so that I can go on a carnival cruise and, you know, pee in the pool with a pina colada in my hands?

32:45No, it's not worth it. And they're gross. And I think the open seas should just be for fishermen. Okay. Okay. And the ultra rich. You have your own boat. Oh, only super yachts. Yeah, super yachts. Oh, wow. Okay. Super yachts and seafarers. So working class or owners of Amazon? That's it. I have a quick cruise story. Can I tell it? Please. It's very quick. It's very funny. I was on a cruise. I was very young. And my friend Tony got us tickets to this cruise that went down to Mexico, like literally Tijuana and back. It was like a two-night thing. And he said there's going to be a lot of girls on it.

33:21So we went on the cruise. We did meet some girls. And we were up in the cabin with these two girls. And they had cocaine. Now, I was like in my 20s. I'd never really done cocaine. so I'm like you know I was trying we were trying to get with the girls and so so they they pinned me the I did the and it really really hurt like it hurt like really hurt and I and I said oh my god I said that like and I took like two big ones and I had never really done it and I said like this cocaine is really really harsh and she goes it's not cocaine it's crystal meth I was walking around the ship for five hours in a circle with Tony because we lost the girls now and now you're You were just on meth.

33:57I was on crystal meth on a cruise ship. And now a word from our sponsor, St. Jude's Hospital. Wait, wait. Wait, when you described the crystal meth of baseball, I didn't know you'd actually done crystal meth. Not intentionally, but it was on a cruise. Or the crystal meth. Oh, that's so, were you scared? I would have been so scared. No, I was wired. I just kept talking and walking and talking and walking until the sun came up. You had like a theory of everything by dawn. Last time I've done crystal meth. I think this proves my point of why we shouldn't have cruises. A man like this does meth on it.

34:25Right, right. A good, upstanding citizen. everyone. Oh, wow. Okay, so you would cancel a cruise? No, no more cruises. I've never been on a cruise. No more cruises. That's it. We're done. It's just for seafaring people who get scurvy. And that's it. Do you think Hantavirus is a new COVID? Do you think we're primed for another pandemic? I hope not. I don't think people are down for it. I'm not down. Yeah, the vibes are not. No one's doing it. I don't think the branding around it. Especially it's gonna be summer. Yeah, you're right. The branding around isn't a good Hantavirus doesn't flow like COVID.

34:55hantavirus remember there was monkey pox i got swine flu in 2009 that's pretty dope that was sort of the og yeah okay well fine hantavirus um please leave us go home uh billy eilish has a new tour documentary and i'm really curious what you think of this alan as our veteran hollywood expert uh the movie's directed by james cameron it hit theaters last week it's called billy eilish hit me hard and soft the tour live in 3d it earned a 99 audience score on rotten tomatoes and i'm seeing some like similarities with the Michael Jackson biopic just because it's like entire songs and it's really like you're there if you're a fan.

35:32Do you feel like this might save theater going movies like this? I think it's great for theater going. And I think movies like this are great because people who do like that type of thing, especially super fans, get to see this kind of behind the scenes stuff. I have no problem with any of it. It's almost like using the theater in a different way. Yeah. No, I have no problem with any of it. and it's good for the business, especially because the exhibitors, the people, you know, the movie theaters, that's a tough business. Anything that can give them revenue, I am for because I want them in business for my shit.

36:05I agree, but it's sad. It's sad that the only way that these theaters are surviving is that they turn into sing-along karaoke rooms now, which is basically what's going on. What's wrong with that? By the way, Rocky Horror Picture Show. Oh, yeah. That was in the 70s. Like, whatever they could do, they were doing it then. It was a phenomenon. And when they caught the phenomenon, they would show them at midnight. Think of that revenue at midnight. They would have Rocky Horror Picture Show. And think of the fun. Hey, like I said, I'm old. This is my generation. We love Rocky Horror. Did you see Michael?

36:35No, I didn't. But I actually hear it's quite good. What do you hear? I saw it. What did you think? I thought Coleman Domingo was unbelievable in it. And I was really entertained the whole time. And people who I had seen it with, or people in the theater, I was talking to people after it was their second time seeing it that week and I think it's a lot of fans I think people especially like the Michael generation people who came up when he was coming up are just obsessed with it have you seen the clips of people watching the Michael doc and Michael biopic in Malaysia no are they huge fans the Japanese are huge fans of Michael Jackson in front of the screen on their chairs going crazy it's so fun to watch like they're all dressed like him they're all dancing in the stairwells like they're it's wild i love that i mean i love a monocultural moment i do are you a billy eilish fan are you gonna see this alan i don't know who she is oh alan i don't know and now a word from our sponsor yeah i told you i don't know who anyone is i i don't the meth did to your brain i don't care i think you don't care i love that i think it's an interesting uh project for james cameron yeah billy eilish i know who he is yeah that well Well, of course.

37:48Titanic. Yeah, but I feel like Alien. Scorsese did this for the Stones, right? And that generationally, I think, makes sense. Billie Eilish is like, shouldn't he be doing U2 or something? Like Billie Eilish? Well, it's interesting. We have a quote from him about this. He said, we're going to be surveillance cameras. It's not going to be a conceit where it's like, I'm Martin Scorsese, and I'm going to start at the beginning of the Stones tour and hit all of these amazing behind-the-scenes moments. That wasn't the gig, he said. His film with Eilish is not the story of the whole tour. It is the story of the day of.

38:21So he's really here to give fans a concert-going experience, not a lift behind the curtain of what it's really like to be Billie Eilish on tour. Okay. But it is weird that he's doing this. But he's so into weird filmmaking. Isn't he Avatar? He's Avatar. Oh, okay. So this is why he's into it. He also did a documentary of going down into the Titanic. He did this Titanic documentary. Okay, so he's actually just really like a camera nerd, and the movies are a byproduct of that. I think that's right. He just wants to see the weirdest thing he could do with like CGI and effects and surveillance cameras.

38:54That makes sense. I think it's creative expression and finding range within creative expression. Susie, that was very smart. Thanks. Thank you so much. And you just kind of came up with it on the spot. I did. I really did. What have you seen lately that you've liked, Alan? Oh, well, you know, I'm going to tell you what I saw, but it was on TV. Say it. I really like the JFK Jr. show. Oh, love story. Say more. I really liked it. Okay. But by the way, I was around in the 90s. I was in New York in the 90s, so it brought me back. We know you're old. Yeah. So old. But the... Was she a sex symbol for you, Carol?

39:29Was that... Yeah, I don't remember her as being like necessarily a sex symbol, but I remember him being incredibly iconic in that time. And every woman I knew, every girl I knew, he was insane, especially in New York City. And it was in, yeah, no. But I thought it was, this is what I thought about it. It could have been bad. It could have been badly directed, badly written, badly acting, and no one would give a shit. But it wasn't. It was good. I thought it was good. I thought the writing was good. I thought the director was good. And I thought the performances were good. And I thought, I was watching it going like it doesn't need to be this good and i was very impressed and happy about that and i enjoyed it thoroughly i thought it was a american version of the crown which is one of my favorite shows interesting and i thought it was really well done and it was just refreshing for me to watch that i love that and i wasn't expecting to like everyone's like oh you should watch it it's really good and i was like i'm gonna i'm gonna last one of these like why do i give a shit about this and it's gonna be so cheesy i was really really maybe it's an expectation things too but But I was really, really gratified watching it and I enjoyed it.

40:31It was like the best thing I've seen recently. I didn't watch it, but I've watched a lot of the fashion from it on Instagram. Yeah, major. I mean, it's... A lot of 5 '2 women out there thinking they look like Carolyn Bissette because they're in a slip skirt. And it is not happening for them. Wearing the backwards hat, thinking, you know... Yeah, the Kangol hat. Yeah, wearing the backwards Kangol. I got to say, 90s fashion is coming back in. I don't know how I feel about it because those were like my high school years. and then I feel like after that you're like working so hard to run away from it, to be like, that looked awful, I need to get better fashion.

41:05And then you get older and it's like, no, you gotta go back to that. It all comes back. I threw an amazing 55-year-old birthday party in 92. It was... Oh my God, that's amazing. You were at my birthday two years ago. Yes, I was. That was extremely fun B-Day. That was fun. We told stories. Yes. You should have been there. I wasn't invited. I wasn't invited. Thanks for bringing it up, guys. Oh, my God. Okay, so you're a no on the Billie Eilish movie. You're a yes on it. I'm for anything that fills the theaters, yes. But you've gone on record saying that television is really the new theater or new movies.

41:40Yeah, I think movies are making a good comeback right now, and there's some quality. But I think TV, for lack of a better term, I can't believe we still call it TV. It's like it's a whole different ecosystem now. There's the one hours. There's the 30 minutes. There's the Netflix versus procedural on CBS, whatever. It's such a wide range to say TV based on what was on the wall 20 years ago, and now we're watching it on our phones, on our iPads, whatever. But yeah, TV, for lack of a better term, is just a lot of good quality. You know every time you go out to dinner with your friends, you take out your phone and you write five things down that you didn't even know existed that everyone's, oh, you've got to watch this.

42:19It's on Apple. It's blah, blah, blah with this person. It's so good. And you write them all down. And then you have this list of the good shit you're supposed to see. No one can get through their list. And then the next time they go to dinner, they get four more on there. Is this just me? No, absolutely. And so there's a lot of good quality in all different genres for all different types of people on, for lack of a better term, television. We've talked about this a lot at the free press, that there's a little bit of like a toxic recommendation culture afoot. Oh, my God, you haven't seen it. How is it toxic?

42:46Because it's just too much. It's just like, I hate when you're like on a date with someone and they're like, you've never seen Dog Day Afternoon, like some like deep cut movie thing. I didn't even know this existed. Like guys who called movies projects. What? Like the new Safdie project. Oh, yeah, that's your world. That's our world. Yeah, it's a project. I don't like that. You don't like that? Well, it's like it's like it's a construction thing. It's like giving yourself a little too much credit. Have you not seen Dog Day Afternoon? No. Is that a real movie? Oh, my God. You haven't seen Dog Day Afternoon.

43:14That is the toxic recommendation culture at play. it's like go home right now watch the movie and it's like for two hours I don't even have a TV I'm going to do it on my computer I believe it's Sidney Lumet we have to check that to have someone check that but I'm pretty sure it was Sidney Lumet okay so yeah come on are you one of those guys who's seen every movie I've seen a lot of movies I'm a film guy there's nothing more annoying than you don't know blank or you haven't seen blank like there's a lot of things that I know that you don't know also but I'm not going to point it out meetings a lot in hollywood because once again i'm gonna go back to the fact that i don't know any people's name under like 40 years old and then you get the like oh we just attached blah blah blah and then i kind of oh like i do pretend a lot because then i'm a dick yeah and like you know maybe i won't get work because they're gonna say he's old and he's disconnected which i am but i have to pretend i know the names they give all the names and you have to say what up homies you have to keep them thinking that you're with the actors it's these young directors and these And I'm friends with like a lot of representation and the agents, they have to.

44:16It's their business to know all the hot names. They use the names and then I'm supposed to, I have to pretend I know the name. Oh my God. Well, one time I was at a dinner in LA and the people talk about movies in LA the way people talk about like books in New York. And someone was saying, you know, oh, have you seen, you know, Dog Day Afternoon or whatever? And this woman goes, no. And then someone said two other movies and she goes, no, I haven't seen that. I haven't seen that. And the guy, and she goes, I really haven't seen that many movies. and he goes, she's being modest. She's seen so many movies.

44:45And it's like, oh, when the picture dances on the screen, it's like, oh, she's erudite. She's seen many movies of like the monkey with the symbols. It's like, what are we talking about? Oh my God, that's the best difference between New York and LA that I've ever heard. She's being modest. She's seen many movies. And I know you've seen many movies. I have seen a lot of movies, of course. It's my stock and trade. And what movies are you working on now? A few. I have one coming out that we just made last year. I think it's coming out in the, I'm going to think winter, maybe spring. I'm not sure yet.

45:20It's actually a great little bit of casting because we have Matthew Broderick and Alan Ruck. So it's Cameron and Ferris back together again. Oh, my God. That's amazing. But it's not the characters. Bueller? They play completely different characters. But these two actors who were best friends on Broadway before Ferris Bueller's Day Off because I think Alan got casted as Cameron because Matthew said to John Hughes, the director, you should cast my friend Alan Ruck, who I was in a Broadway play with. So they were best friends at like 11. They were in the producer? Oh, no, before that probably. They were, he did all the Neil Simons.

45:57I mean, Broderick did all the Neil Simons. So when we cast our movie, it's about two men who are friends in their 50s. It's about male friendship in their 50s. And we got Alan and Matthew. And they were both great in it. And it's called The Best It's Yet to Come. And I'm hoping it's probably the fall. It's Lionsgate is going to distribute it. And we made it. And what's the sort of, you're trying to explore male friendship in your late 50s? It's a remake of a French movie that I fell in love with during COVID. A producer got me in and said, would you want to do this? And then during COVID, we were all locked down.

46:32Everything was kind of scary. And I put it on. I'm like, oh, fuck, I should watch this. If we have a world or a film business left, maybe, and I watched it, and I was crying and laughing. And it's what I needed during COVID because it's a very emotional yet funny, you know, it's one of those like James Brooks types movies. A lot of heart, a lot of pathos, the French movie. And I called the producer. I'm like, I want to do this. We have to do this. So we did it. I mean, that was what that was. So the French movie, so it has a French premise. French are very different on how they do movies. And like they get away with a lot.

47:07We don't. So I had to, in adapting it, change some things and make some things more believable. You had to do some dance numbers. But in the contrivance, basically it's two best friends who had led very, very different lives. The Broderick character was married and got divorced. But he was a professor and he stayed in Seattle and he was a normal guy. And the Ruck character never got married and he went to Europe and he banged a lot of women and he did a lot of drugs and he lived a lot of life. But he's always broke. And he comes back to Seattle and he's crashing on Broderick's couch. and through a contrivance, a French contrivance, which works in our movie, Broderick finds out that Ruck has cancer and is dying of cancer, but Ruck doesn't know.

47:43And he has to tell his best friend. And he can't do it. That's the thing, he can't do it. And it's this kind of interesting... This sounds like it'll rip your heart out. It is very, but it's not depressing. No. It's not depressing. It's funny. It's got a lot of humor. And both guys are great. Both guys are phenomenal actors. And so it's great. Their chemistry is great. And the movie is great. And so I'm very excited. And best is yet to come. I'm just not sure exactly when Lionsgate's going to throw it out there. Well, Lionsgate, if you're listening, please throw it out there. I'll also say that isn't there a moment in Ferris Bueller's Day Off where Bueller is withholding from Cam that he like screwed up the car or something?

48:19Yeah, well, the car goes down to the ravine. Right, and then Cameron is sitting there in like a fugue state. But they were different characters. In our movie, the Ruck character is wild and free and the Broderick character is tight and repressed. and in Ferris Bueller's Broderick was wild and free and Cameron was tight and repressed so we give him the opposite in this one I'm so excited about this I think you'll love the movie I'm gonna love it I think you'll love the movie the only thing that I want to hit on left is just the fact that Trump released his first declassified a trance of UFO files and it's free for all Americans to view my question is number one did you read the files?

48:55I didn't and number two did you know the most respected alien expert in the country is a man named Avi Loeb. I did know that. You did? I think he's out of Harvard. I don't know. Yeah, I've heard the name. He is like the alien guy. Yeah, I've seen him on YouTube. I've seen stuff. Is he your doppelganger? Is he your alien doppelganger? I don't know if he is. But what's Avi's take? What does he say? Avi's like very open. He's like a sort of consensus builder within this, as you can imagine, very disparate, odd coalition of people from like the religious to the science obsessed to the skeptics to the true believers whatever it is and he is just very open to the idea that there's something out there but this release is nothing no there's there's no smoking gun there's no you know uh picture of a green body some you know suspended in amber at area 51 yeah i'm not i i saw the videos and i think they all feel a little doctored grainy until i see the green alien you know with the glowing finger i don't believe any of this shit what's your intuition tell you about whether there's life i think there's life for sure i think there's life on other but not the grainy little i think there's i i think there's aliens amongst us i think a few of the tech guys oh oh don't you think i have a theory like all the inventions you know how it was like the internet was 25 years ago no 30 years ago and now it's it's AI I think they have it all and have had it for like and they're just dripping they're they're dripping it out the tech to keep the economy like do you notice them the second the economy gets a little shaky we have AI now we're fucking at all-time highs I think then I think they I think it I think yeah and by they you mean aliens are dripping it I think so but what would they oh because they I'm pretty sure because like it's pretty obvious they need our stock market to go up because that like it's not just the stock market it's just like they they get richer and feed off of our capitalism yeah maybe they feed off of our greenhouse gases there's something they can't have us de-grow they need us kind of producing i just think it's all too convenient and you know like don't you think and like come on elon i mean come on you can't he's not human think about his life every company he started everything he invented i mean that's not a person I mean, it's obviously not a person.

51:18Well, Tucker believes that their UFOs are demons. Tucker Carlson has gone on the record saying the UFOs might be demons. But like, what if they're angels? You know what I mean? What if there's angels among us, Alan? Have you ever considered that? I think that's a beautiful conceit. I think that's the launching pad of many great love stories. Dan, did you watch the roast of Kevin Hart? I did. I just finished watching it. I have some takes. I love Kevin Hart. I think he's a force for good. Always great to see him taking the piss out of himself. I think Shane Gillis did an awful job hosting. Okay.

51:52Oh, he was the host. He was the host. I think he's a really funny comedian. Like, I love Shane Gillis. But he is an awful host. Hosting is its own muscle. It's its own beast. It's its own beast. And you can't do it with irony. You can't do it with goofiness. Or not goofiness. You can't do it with irony. You can't do it with, like, this kind of ennui. He was, like, very, like, shrug-shouldery. and I feel like what people realized watching this roast is the reason that the roast of Tom Brady was so great wasn't because of anything about Tom Brady. Kevin Hart hosted that. It's because Kevin Hart was hosting it and he's the best host.

52:26Like he knows how to keep the energy up. He knows how to entertain. Jeff Ross, shout out Jeff Ross, also your doppelganger, also knows how to keep the energy up in a room with a roast. Friend of the pod. Huge friend of the pod. Big friend of the pod. Yeah, big friend of the pod. Give me an example aside from the Kevin Hart videos of a great host. Who's a great host? Or a great host, like a classic iconic hosting job like the 2009 Academy Awards when Conan did it. Well, I think, yeah. Conan was amazing. I think Billy Crystal is, if you want to go old school, I know you're an old man. Billy Crystal.

52:57Yeah, big Billy Crystal fan. But there's a likability. There's a likability and that you're really thrilled to be out there. Like, I don't think Dave Letterman does as good of a job, like, for the Oscars. Because he's sarcastic. He's a little dour. you kind of have to you can't like you can't be eye rolly you have to like really like be excited to be there yeah you're the joker it's like dance you want to be there dance for the king I think Conan does a great job Billy Crystal was with the Oscars was that was classic yeah do you think that was better than Ricky Gervais when he I love Ricky that was unbelievable I mean that was fun though because he was lighting the whole place on fire yeah yeah that was a different thing you know that was a different everything Ricky Gervais does brilliant he is so brilliant yes But special shout out to...

53:41Chelsea Handler. Chelsea Handler destroyed. I mean, they came after her hard. But man... If you come for the queen. You come for the queen, you better get ready. I mean, she came on and just guns a blazing. And such a pro. She looked amazing, I'll say, too. Such a pro. And it's just like, I haven't... You know, her show's been off the air for a while. It was so good to see like, oh yeah, I forgot how vicious she can be. Oh yeah. She was great. It's interesting to see like old world, new world kind of podcast comedian and bros come together in something like a roast. Also, special shout out to Cheryl Underwood, who she's like, you know, I think she was the oldest person on the dais.

54:17Yeah. You know, and it was easy to see her in the sea of like the young, hip podcasters from Texas who were like too cool for school. And I was worried before she got up. I'm like, she's probably not going to be able to keep up. She was the only one who got a standing ovation. Oh, I love that. She destroyed. Freud. And it was just like old school, know how to put on a show, know how to just hit your mark, hit the bits, hit the jokes, just like machine gun. She was like a revelation. Like I loved her so much. I hope that. I have to see this. These roasts will used to be appointment viewing. I remember watching the Joan Rivers one live when it came out on Comedy Central.

54:55I thought it was so amazing. And the Justin Bieber one, I think. The Tom Brady one was phenomenal. It was also phenomenal. But yeah, that was when fun came back. Yeah. Well, Netflix has a nice little cottage thing going here with the roast, right? Oh, yeah. And I think the ladies took the cake on this one. I always think it's so dumb when people are like, women can't be funny. Go watch The Roast of Kevin Hart. The women destroyed the men, I think. Okay. I love ending on this note. I'm happy. This was fun. Was this fun? Did you have fun, Alan? I want to do it again. All I want is for Alan to be happy.

55:26It actually is like a preoccupation of mine. I just want to say I got recognized by Shakira's kids at a bat mitzvah this weekend. Yeah, Dan couldn't naturally shoehorn that one in. So we're just going to just right at the end, no segue. Dan, okay, I'll set you up for it. Dan, were there any acclaimed Latin, children of Latin pop stars at the bat mitzvah you were at in Miami this weekend? Pray tell. It's funny you should ask, Susie. Shakira's kids are obsessed with me. What? And by ex post facto, Shakira is obsessed with me. I saw her texting her friend saying, They're obsessed with second thought?

56:04No, this is Falafel Phil from Kicking It. Okay. Iconic character. She said,

56:12Was she at the bat mitzvah? No, she was texting her friend. Oh my God. Her friend was like, These are Shakira's kids. She wants to take a picture. They want to take a picture with you. And I was like, Those are not Shakira's kids. She opened her phone. Shakira's texting back and forth. Please tell him we're huge fans. Were you like, I'm not taking a picture with those kids and those aren't Shakira's kids. and then you were like right this way to the step and repeat. Yeah, I was like, your little hips don't lie, boys. And then I got kicked out of the bat mitzvah. Yeah, you shouldn't say that in a religious setting.

56:41It just happened quickly. Alan, this is what you have to look forward to given your euphoria cameos is Shakira's children being huge fans in 10 years, maybe at their weddings. The Shakittos. The Shakittos. This has been Second Thought. I'm Susie Weiss. And I'm Dana Dude. I'm Alan. And thank you so much for being here, Alan. we'd love to have you back I'm coming back I want to come back stick the landing next time Alan I didn't know she was coming to me he's not an actor he's not a screen actor I'm not an actor thank you okay bye everyone thanks for listening to this episode of Second Thought if you're listening on Apple or Spotify please give the show a follow and if you have a second consider leaving us a five star rating or write us a nice review it really helps us out you can also get my weekly culture column by subscribing to the free press at thefp.com You