An Irish Goodbye, a big life event, and some serious blephing

19:38Rosie Ramsey:The must-see galactic adventure comes home on Disney+. This is the way. Our only chance is to work together. I like this kid. Always wear your seatbelt. Star Wars The Mandalorian and Grogu. Now streaming on Disney+. Read PG-13.

20:02So just a couple of little tidbits. Or titbits, or however the fucking hell you say it. I've been saying it wrong my whole life and I don't know what the right one is.

20:08Rosie Ramsey:I think it's titbits. Ah, whatever. Is it tit... Oh my God, I don't actually know. Tidbits? No idea. Tidbits, tidbits, tidbits. I don't know. Listen, who gives a fuck? First of all, I knew the singer from the wedding who was doing, it was Glenn Ruffhead, who does, if you're from the Northeastern and you've ever come to any of the Laughs for Kids gigs, Glenn does the music and stuff. He's a very talented man. He was amazing at the wedding. I think it's hard to not be overpowering as it may be as a singer. Oh, he was great. I was so impressed. It was like the perfect vibe. Unreal. Anyway, he told me a really funny story.

20:36He's actually doing our... He's doing Jordans as well.

20:39Rosie Ramsey:He's doing our Baines wedding. He's doing our sons. Yeah, he's doing our daughter's wedding to Jordan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He told me that he was at a wedding a little while ago. Oh, you told me this and I totally forgot. This is wonderful. There was one good thing I took from the story, which is I think these two people found the right person because they both have the audacity to do this at their wedding. So they told him that, can you please make an announcement to everyone? so the daytime had done and the nighttime was starting and he was doing the thing. Can you make an announcement to everyone at the wedding that we're going to do Irish goodbyes?

21:18So under no circumstances does anyone come up to us while we're having fun at our wedding and tell where you're going and say goodbye. Just go. We don't want to hear it. Both of them, the bride and the groom, make sure you tell everyone that. But buffet's open. Tell anyone if they're parked outside blocking people in and also tell them all to fuck off without speaking to us at the end of the night. Wow. Outstanding being here. I mean, kind of love it. I respect it.

21:45Rosie Ramsey:Kind of love it. I fully respect it. Just because I'm a prick sometimes. Yeah, oh yeah, you would love that. But I would never, ever say. I didn't say goodbye to anyone last night. I said goodbye to Sean, the groom. I said goodbye to him and someone else was standing next to him and I went, oh yeah, bye to you as well and I was gone. I was waiting outside. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so that would be, dare I say it, I maybe should have married that bride who said that to him. You and I can't even imagine. They must have sat and went, you know what we could do? You know how we hate saying goodbye to people?

22:15We could get the singer to just tell everyone under no circumstances, say goodbye.

22:20Rosie Ramsey:Yeah. Don't come to work on the dance floor. It is a chore. I know what you mean. When it's your party. Yeah. Someone's come, you're standing there. The beat, the beat's just about to kick in on a song. But this is what I think, like weddings and that have changed over the years because once upon a time, It was everybody come together who we love to celebrate our union. And now it's everybody come together to just watch us do this thing and don't speak to her when we leave. Don't post photos on social media and don't you dare say goodbye on the way out. It could be fair though. There might be like proper partiers.

22:55Do you know what I mean? They might have been full of drugs and that. And absolutely buzzing. Can you imagine like they're on the dance floor and that fucking, you know, that turn down for what?

23:01Rosie Ramsey:Turn down for what? But before that it was like... Waiting for the beat.

23:10Exactly, yeah. Anti-fucking Doris. Right, yeah, thank you, love. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, we'll speak to you. I'll speak to you tomorrow. Okay, we'll speak.

23:18Rosie Ramsey:I've never had chicken like that. We'll speak to you tomorrow. We'll speak to you tomorrow. Go back. Oh, fuck's sake. Yeah. Taxis outside. Yeah, okay. Okay, bye. I missed the bass drop, yeah. Glenn, can you play that again? Can you play that again? This old fucker just ruined it. Yeah, do you know what? Yeah, I get it. I'm fully on board with it. Fully on board with it. Can't even imagine how unbearable that must have been to listen to as a podcast, but it'll work on the video. So maybe go on YouTube and watch that little skit. Maybe you get more for your money here. Do you know what I mean? Just two old codgers trying to make a living.

23:54Rosie Ramsey:We're just two old. We're just two old guys. Two old, just a couple old farts. We have noticed, we've actually made a really good, what's the word? Observation? Kind of an observation, but also, so your awkwardness and just all around, like, you really have to try to be friendly. Okay. I talk about it in my new tour. That makes it sound bad. When I'm on stage, I'm so used to being on stage and being, you're in control of everything. But then when I'm in a social situation and you're not in control of everything. I do, and it's not for being an arsehole. It's just sometimes I'm not great. I'm not great in social situations sometimes.

24:33sometimes and I can't hide. I can't hide when I'm not up for it. I think is the best way of describing it. Would you agree?

24:40Rosie Ramsey:Yes, I would agree. But I mean, I don't mean that horribly because you are, you're fine. Like it's, you know, but unfortunately you married somebody who, like I love, I need social interaction. I need like friends and I need to, I need to kind of have like a village to be around people. But and you do well, you've got a lot better. Yeah, but we've got, you're well-mannered to the point of it being like, you know a genuine problem to the point of being like an actual crutch like you would have a cripplingly good man that's what i'm trying to say i mean that woman yesterday i really should have went are you what the fuck are you talking about me what me grandchild are you taking the piss i'm not a nana can i just say i think a lot of people listening would have done that well i didn't i went oh god oh no it's just it's just me it's just me friend these are happy tears My friend's turning.

25:31Rosie Ramsey:I'm 40. I just turned 40. I don't get Botox, what my friends do, and I'm trying not to. That's just... But they're like, yeah, so no, it's fine. I'm on the telly and I look old as fuck on there as well. So no, anyway, I could have done that, but I didn't. I was really nice. But back to my observation. Well, me and you, we've made like this thing, right? So when we are older and when we are actually real grandparents, Chris loves leaving a party early. so you will be the babysitter of the kids it's time to take the kids home and I'll stay till the bitter end 100 % all the kids are tired I don't want to take them I'm having a party right here didn't want to fucking come in the first place half past day till be kids let's go and watch a film done cheese on toast or cereal or toast for supper and let's watch a telly and go to sleep because I didn't even want to come to this your nana will be in it half past one should be I'll be back on tabs by then as well I'll probably smoke again so fuck it because I'll be like whatever and then people think you're a great grandma and that's funny that'll be nice and you start smoking and get even more haggard you'll be holding your grandchild and someone goes is that your great grandchild and you'll go listen I'll drop kick a bitch by then I'm not no no but no so that's mint so your awkwardness and kind of like not being very social is gonna it's gonna it's gonna it's gonna come back in the future and I'm buzzing about that when you're on a bloody dance floor full of HRT absolutely raving your titties off sweating sweating like a 90s fucking hasagenda and I've decided that when things do get really bad I'm going to take testosterone because my sex drive will be through the fucking roof you're not going to be able to keep up I'll be having me early night with a bane so you can fuck off you better go and bleff yourself in the toilet love it works for so many it's beautiful beautiful fantastic word just one more thing two more things me Sean me mate said the best thing I've ever heard anyone say in his best man speech.

27:29I think he was a bit nervous and he accidentally said, the groomsmen all look lush, which I fucking, I nearly died. I literally, I heckled him. I went, bit weird. Thanks all the groomsmen, the groomsmen, you all look lush.

27:48Fucking,

27:49Rosie Ramsey:oh God, I'll just. No, well actually, sorry to bring it back, the me nana thing, but you had his life all day from when he said it, but then when he found out that someone thought we were grandparents he was like oh he was like this is brilliant this beats the look and lush the groomsman look and lush it doesn't because you did the look and lush thing I'm the victim of this the look and lush it's still much funnier what's the other thing the other thing is I because of me catastrophizing I ruined the night before didn't I because oh my god guys I didn't think you were going to bring this I'm going to bring this up because I've still got an issue with it I've still got a problem right so we're in this place it was a lovely place Should we say what it's called?

28:28Rosie Ramsey:Hidden River Barn. Hidden River Barn or something. Near Carlisle. It was gorgeous. And can I just say, I don't know, Anna, Sean who married Anna, I've never seen a more beautiful bride. She looked absolutely stunning. Like genuinely took me breath away a bit. I was like, she looked like a Disney princess. Yeah. Well, I said she looked like a Marvel, like a Marvel hero. Do you know what I mean? Like literally came in just like fucking, just phenomenal. So it was this beautiful place. It was a two-day wedding, so we all stayed in cottages around, which I've never done before. It was really nice.

29:06So we're all in these cottages in this courtyard, and we're sharing with Jordan Shannon. They've got a two-week-old. And we were talking to one of the guys. Which we very much used

29:14Rosie Ramsey:at our advantage. We left at half nine. We've got to get the baby home. The baby was quite happy to stay. The baby was fine. Had his ear defenders on, he was absolutely buzzing. I was like, yeah, we've got to go for the baby. And for me, because I need to go rub me corns because I'm a grander. So we're all in these cottages sleeping around and there's a courtyard and everything and they're all around there. And we're talking to this guy on the night beforehand and he's just chatting to her and he said, lovely lad, but he said, me mate picked us up and I opened the boot to put me case in and I couldn't fit me case in the boot because he'd brought his decks.

29:52I went, whoa, whoa, whoa. he's fucking what now he went oh he's he's brought his decks for tonight I went his DJ equipment he's brought his own from home DJ equipment

30:08Rosie Ramsey:to the Hidden River Barn to the fucking courtyard to the courtyard of cottages that we're all sleeping this fucking dick has brought industrial grade yeah musical equipment yeah took up the full boot that DJs that fucking a boot of DJ equipment. Tell them what time you found this out. Oh. It was about... Half nine, ten o 'clock? No, was it? Oh, no, no, sorry. That's what time I went back. Yeah, it was about six o 'clock in the evening I found that out. So, Chris, very much... Whole night ruined. The whole night. He was like, I'm sitting there. If there's decks. Sealing. I'm not sleeping. I was like, the fucking walls are going to be shaking.

30:45I was like, I'm going to have to Google how much decks are because I'm going to go outside and smash these decks in front of them. I'm going to literally smash them up and go, how dare you? I couldn't hear them.

30:53Rosie Ramsey:I'd take it back. Yeah, you opened the window upstairs, you could sort of hear them, but they actually put them in the other house. I wonder how, did word get around that nobody actually wanted the decks? I wasn't very quiet about it, I've been honest with you. But can I also make another thing as well? Or did they all just also get to the, so I think everyone got really excited, but everyone is actually in their 40s. Yeah. And do you think it got to the time they all went, oh, fuck me, I can't do this. Yeah. I think that's right. I think they all dropped their arse. Again, is it because I'm old and boring now, and I don't want to offend people, but I know I do, actually, because if you're the person who says, I've brought me Dex or I've brought me guitar, I'm all right if I'm going anywhere with you.

31:30And I'm going to go one further here, and I am going to upset people here. If you own Dex and you aren't a paid DJ in any part of your life, I've got no respect for you.

31:40Rosie Ramsey:Yeah. Never been my cup of tea. You got an iPhone? You got Spotify? What are you doing? What are you doing standing up there looking like a fucking teppanyaki chef? No, I never got a wide on over a deck. I've seen them in people's rooms when I was younger. Yeah, yeah. What the fuck is it? I just think it stinks of links. I think it stinks of links. I think. Not my cut. Yeah. But, well, what I said, I was like, I wouldn't mind, but it'll be that just horrible music. Yeah. If it was like Shattercon, I said, didn't I? I was like, if it was Shattercon. Oh, yeah. I don't think that thing. I don't think you need decks to do.

32:10Yeah. I don't think you need to mix them together, really. Just again, I've brought me decks.

32:16Rosie Ramsey:Go on. Fucking get in the seat. We weren't on the deck vibe of it. No, not at all. Other than again, the professional, Glenn Ruffhead, shout out again to him, once he'd finished his music with his guitar, he set some decks up and he played some sort of background music. Some muzak. Fucking fantastic, honestly. Unbelievable. So yeah, I'm a huge hypocrite. I contradict myself left, right and centre, but I just think recreational decks. In the courtyard. In the courtyard of the cottages. We had the grand band. Exactly, we had the grandkids with one man. we had the daughter a shithead partner who got knocked up and then fucking disappeared and the grandpa oh god I mean no we're just old as fuck that's all it is yes I know babadoo babadoo babadoo it's time for what's your beef what is your beef I don't have one I'm gonna be honest with you I don't have a beef eater this week and it's because can you remember yesterday so again sorry to go bang on about this wedding but we normally whenever we go away together, we've either got the kids with her or it's work.

33:19Rosie Ramsey:Yes. We go down to London, we do Please Keep Me Anonymous. Every Wednesday comes out on your podcast apps and on YouTube. It's back soon because we've had a bit of time. Yes, it's back. We've had a little time off. It's back very, very soon. And it's always a work trip. We never do anything just us. It's stressful. It's work. And we never do anything just us. And even though at first we were like, fucking two day wedding. Wow. Like what, what is that? It was so nice. We kind of reconnected. and yesterday I said to you at one point, I went, are you all right? Because like, I'm saying funny things to people and you're joining in with the laughing.

33:54At one point I said so, and you were like, you threw your head back and you like laughed your head off at us. And I was like, she hasn't laughed at me like that.

34:02Rosie Ramsey:I laugh at you every week on here. It's work though, isn't it? It's work. No, it's not. It's because I find you funny. No, but when we're in social situations, there's loads of people. Oh, you're horrible and I can't bear you. Yeah, there it is. Normally. Normally. but we just something happened and I was like yeah my god I was like well we've had this is like a little we've had a little weekend you need a reset yeah I also think Jordan and Shannon are a very calm and presence and I think they're really calm they're calm what the fuck I was embarrassed actually they're two week old he just I was embarrassed wakes up once in the night and then he's no bother goes straight back to sleep but there wasn't a cross word I didn't hear not even like where's he told me get the fuck you put that you don't want to you don't want to they don't want to they don't want to none of that they didn't do any of that they're the perfect couple we need to be nice out to each other well let's hold hands I feel like we connected again we laughed at me which obviously is the main thing I want in life from a relationship anyway we just had a really nice time at one point I thought am I getting put down tomorrow am I dying is she about to drop some terrible news on me no brilliant so we had a lovely time sometimes we need to just not be stressed a bit like working or having kids work and the kids are super stressful.

35:15Rosie Ramsey:But this six weeks has actually been quite nice. This holidays has been good. It has. Honestly, I know I've moaned about it. Oh my God, as you're listening to this, they all should be back at school. Yes! Woo! Yes! Come on! Yes! Our children have to learn to read again, but that's very much the teacher's problems. Surprise! Yeah, very happy about that. But genuinely, it has been quite nice. It's been a really nice. I've loved the lazy mornings. Dare I say it, obviously we've had, again, apologies to London, but we've had really nice weather. Yeah, there we are. Bearable, really bearable weather.

35:51It's been lush.

35:51Rosie Ramsey:It just makes it a lot easier. So yeah, so no beef. Hey, shake me hand. Nice to be friends again. I don't know how long it'll last, but it's nice to be friends again. Another 14 year. There it is. 13 year. Oh, who cares? And well done. We've got through the summer holidays. Well done. Well done. Well done to you. Well done. Well done to you. Well done. Well done to you. Well done. Well done to you. Well done to you.

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38:34Rosie Ramsey:Babadoo babadoo babadoo It's time for Questions from the public

38:42As always if you'd like to get in touch At shaggedmoudannoyed at gmail.com That's if you'd like to send A long form, long winded Maybe in depth Maybe narrative driven email And if you'd like to send a voice note It is 07874 406650 We love the voice notes, please keep them coming And we love all of your interactions and again just just thank you so much you really make it what it is

39:06Rosie Ramsey:Hi Chris and Rosie was just watching some clips on Rosie's Instagram where my partner comes in and asks what's that you're watching? Is that that Shagged, Fucked and Hungry?

39:20Rosie Ramsey:Honestly I think it's time for a rebrand Shagged Shagged Fucked and Hungry Yeah Shagged, Fucked and Hungry Maybe we should have a a rebrand Well no no Well, when we do a spin-off kookery show, it's called Shagged, Fucked and Hungry. Okay. Perfect. What are you doing? What are you typing down? I'm getting the voice note. I'm getting the voice note. I forgot to tell you the idea. A guy walked past his, Bold Nasda, shout out to my man in Bold Nasda who I saw. Literally, I was in a hurry. I was going in to get something. I can't remember where it was. And I walked past him and he just looked at us and I was like, oh, he couldn't say hello.

39:54I'm a fan or whatever like that. And he just leant in dead close and went, babadoop babadoop. And I just went, thanks. That's nice. That's nice. I just want to wait. I was like, my man. That's creepy, but nice. It's the best one. It's the best one I've ever had. Just babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. I was like, thanks, mate. Just great. Nice.

40:09Rosie Ramsey:Hi, Chris and Rosie. Long time listener. And I've been enjoying your ics for years. And now that I'm back in the dating pool at 36, I have one for you. So I went on this date with a nice lad. Nice lad. Super gentlemanly. we went we've been having a lot of banter really like a really good crack really really enjoying it and chatting to him and getting to know him i've been through very similar life experiences and the whole time that i'm sitting opposite him in this restaurant i'm just thinking there's something familiar about you and i can't quite put my finger on it um anyway he's gone through the meal and he's paid for the meal and super impressed because it doesn't happen very often at all.

41:01Rosie Ramsey:He then decides to lead the way and we're thinking if we're going to do something after or if I'm going to just we're going to just see each other another time. And as we are leaving the restaurant and I'm standing behind him and we're walking out, I've recognised who he reminds me of his posture the way he's walking everything about him physically reminded me of Gru from the Minions and I couldn't unsee it and yeah ick, needless to say I haven't seen him again since and I feel so terrible about it because he's lovely he's genuinely a lovely guy but all I can now see is Gru no that is not good that's one of them situations where you could have paused it I would have guessed teachers exes dad I thought you'd shagged him before I forgot the whole well you obviously went straight well done for giving no respect whatsoever I went through and I'm sure everyone listening I went through all of the You could have given me a thousand guesses and I would never have come up with Gru.

42:18Rosie Ramsey:Gru. That's so amazing. What's Gru, what's he say again? What do you mean? What's one of his sayings? Oh, I do not. Minions have got sayings. He just says different stuff, doesn't he? Oh. Funny. Wow. Yeah, there's nothing you, no. That's the thing, the winner. Everything else was perfect. You can't unsee Gru. Oh, no. You can't unsee that. I mean, did he have a little like cravat on or something? What the fuck? Has he got pin legs? I think he had 14 tiny little yellow dudes with him. I think that was the problem. That was the problem. I quite like him. Listen, because we're sluggies off so much, men in general, I've got a really, really nice reverse Ikea.

43:00Rosie Ramsey:Get in. Somebody talking really nicely about her husband. I think it's a lovely thing, okay? Yeah. Hi, Chris and Rosie. Please keep me anonymous because obviously she's embarrassed. about this. Just saying something nice about a great fucking hell, man. Rosie, this one's for you. All right. My partner was the Mighty Ducks kid. Like, he wasn't actually in Mighty Ducks. He just loved Mighty Ducks. He just loved, like, yeah. Charlie Conway, eat your heart out. Like, street hockey till the lights came on, roller hockey in the 90s, then semi-pro ice hockey, actual hockey hair, the whole thing, okay?

43:30Rosie Ramsey:Wow. Then COVID hit, life got serious, family bills, mortgages, you know. Now he only plays for fun. But he has the reverse ick. The thing that absolutely ends me, and I think in like a sexual way, like not in a bad way. She thinks it's amazing, yeah. Watching him and our boys, 11 and 9, playing street hockey like it's a movie montage, Coach Bombay would be weaving. And now the boys can finally skate on their own, so they do drills, like pot rubber drills. They practice, he coaches them. And my favourite, favourite part, when he skates backwards. On ice, on roller skates, I don't care. Watching a grown man skate backwards whilst yelling, keep your sticks on the ground at two tiny humans which she has made as well is inexplicably the most erotic thing I have ever witnessed it's powerful it's graceful it's athletic it's a bit weirdly dominant it's the reason we now have an eight month old that's not a joke that's cause and effect wow it says here Chris watch the mighty ducks and do it for your marriage no no I'm going to stop you there because Chris gets very obsessed with things and Chris will come home within the full gear and not have a clue what he's doing and he will have to learn that you like your husband.

44:45Rosie Ramsey:No, no. I can feel similar to golf here. No, it's not happening. No, I can feel a new obsession coming on. Rosie, I'm going to say it. Rosie, it's knock-up-hawk time. Is that what they say? I know that, yeah. My friends used to say that. Okay. I've never seen it, but I know they're catching it. Just don't. No, you like your husband, listener, because he's been doing it for a long time and he's actually really good at it. Don't get him, Chris. Guys, we'll be at A &E with me. because I turned my ankle on my new skates. That is the... It's nice though, isn't it? That is, for me, that's the perfect reverse ick.

45:15That's what I meant by reverse icks because that, in another world, through someone else's eyes, I thought this guy was really fit and then he skated backwards and he was shouting at his kids and it was an ick. That is such a perfect, perfect... Because, you know, because I took his top off and he had a six-pack reverse it. It's not a reverse ick. That's just a genuine attraction. That's... Hey, skating backwards is very impressive.

45:35Rosie Ramsey:And also, as British, like back in the 90s, we, American sort of things were very, how am I saying this? Like I found American lads like lush. Yeah, yeah. Well, Americanization in the 90s too. Yeah, well, that was when it all, that's when fucking Halloween started getting big. You know, like kids are buying baseball bats instead of cricket bats. And obviously there was the hockey and ice hockey and all that stuff. It's not big for you here, really, is it? No, but that's... Yeah, so yeah, of course he's lush. Babadoo babadoo babadoo Hi Rosie and Chris I was just listening to your recent podcast where you mentioned you often quote we're both doctors We're both doctors We're both doctors Get out of our mind I actually think this could be I don't know if I'm actually like not lazy enough I can't speak today like Jesus Christ You've had four nights on the piss This could be a nice new section Right of what do other people have sayings about people that they don't that they don't know It's a catchy title I'll give you that

46:38Rosie Ramsey:clip that up

46:43we've got a new section it's what do other people have sayings about other people that they don't know

46:50Rosie Ramsey:what do other people have other sections I'm gonna double down I'm gonna call it that's the name of the section we'll listen back to it we'll get it the name for this section is what do other people have sayings about people that they don't know yeah okay that's the name for the section i'm doubling down on it yeah i love it i love it already right it made me think listen start i can't concentrate it made me think about all the things me and my husband quote to each other because we do we've got loads over the years there are so many things we quote but there's one that's been going for about 14 years now nice Basically, a friend of ours had got back together with her ex-partner.

47:35Rosie Ramsey:She was so excited to tell us how great things had been going and how perfect they are for each other. She was listing things to us about them that she saw as signs they were both destined to be together forever. One thing she listed was, we both like vegetables.

47:58Grasping at straws much. we both breathe we both use a toilet you heard of that? we both do the toilet both sleep in a bed we both I don't know if you've ever seen this but while talking while looking at stuff where eyelids where eyes get dry and where eyelids close not blinking

48:15Rosie Ramsey:you both blink yeah the eyelids close over the eyeball stop to moisturise it we both do that stop so mate no that is good so mate that is good we both like vegetables so she wasn't referring to anything kinky when she said this just basically telling us that she can cook him a proper meal like a roast and he'll happily eat his veggies. And he's not one of those men who just wants a plate of meat all the time. Right. But this line stuck for years. We both like our vegetables. And when me and my husband talk about how good we are for each other, we often joke that we both like vegetables. So we're clearly the perfect match.

48:49Rosie Ramsey:The couple are not together. The vegetable couple are not together anymore. Never in the world. Yes, I can imagine they're not, because she had to put We Both Like Vegetables in the list that I imagine took her fucking hours to put together. It's just lovely. I just thought that was quite funny. So yeah, so what sayings do you have about other people that people don't know about? That they don't know. Send them in. I think that could be, we need a better title, but I think that could be a really interesting section. That could be, all of those words are pulling their own weight individually in that sentence.

49:19Off the top of your head,

49:20Rosie Ramsey:is there anything else? That we do. That we've got. Obviously quoting films and stuff isn't the thing. No, it's not films. It's what someone said. It's something someone else has said to you that you've found hilarious, that's become part of your vernacular, that you quote each other as a reference to something. Well, I did it for years. I did it for years about that lass I worked with. Which one? About the dog. Oh, that dog's hot as hell. That's when the dog was just really hot and needed a drink, so its tongue was out, and she was like, that dog is hot as hell. Oh, I've got another one. My friend Philippa, when we were away a few years ago, she was drunk, and she fell off her chair backwards.

49:53Rosie Ramsey:and while she was falling she went oh I'm aware that's good well obviously oh I'm aware obviously my new one is the groomsman look lush that's not going anywhere that's not going anywhere anytime soon however man there is loads there's loads we live at that is actually I think that's our love language yeah just for a while for a good six months quoting the same I mean we still do we're with doctors that's never going anywhere next time when we'll do them over the next week or so just note it down we'll have a think of some okay back to next week's section of what sayings do you have about other people that people don't know about there it is why are you still listening to this I'm honestly I'm judging you more than us we get this is our job we get paid why are you what are you doing fucking hell I don't mean I'm sorry I love you so much don't go anywhere sorry guys she's a she's a grandmother that she sometimes says things she doesn't mean.

50:56Rosie Ramsey:Dear Rosie and Chris, please keep me anonymous. My wife listens. Quick one from me. My wife and I came to see Chris's show in York back in March. I'm only saying this because you've still got some tickets to shift and this might help. Okay, cool. There is not many left for York, I'll be honest with you, but I do need to. No, no, but I mean, all of the parts of the country. All of the country. I'm going all over the place, guys. We're both big fans and I think my wife might have an innocent crush on Chris. Nothing innocent about it. Weird, innocent, you can't get a break. Innocent crush. Not just a crush.

51:25I'm either a weird crush, a guilty crush.

51:28Rosie Ramsey:What does innocent crush mean? I think she just wants a cuddle. It's just like, oh, he's nice. Maybe. I'll take that. I'll take that. That's cute. I'll take that. Yeah, you can have a cuddle of him. You can't do anything else with him. Listen. Knock you out. Quick bleph. Quick bleph in the dressing room toilet. What? You can't do that. Because a comedian did that, and he got in a lot of trouble, rightly so. Yeah, I'm not... Don't be shagging at the toilets. I'm not going to do that. Listen. We made a date night of it. Dinner, show and a hotel in York, child free. Hey! I want to thank Chris sincerely, as after his show, we had the most mind-blowing sex ever.

52:06I know, I remember I was there. I was filming it in the corner. We'll show the clip now. Imagine.

52:13Rosie Ramsey:We've been married 12 years, and sex has always been good, but this night was one to remember. My sincerest gratitude to Chris. Cheers, brother. what the hell do you say in this show? Well, yeah. I mean, I wish I knew. I wish I knew. Wow. So they had a good laugh for me and then they went in bed and knocked each other's socks off. Well, you know what? I'm glad I could help. Do you? Oh, hang on a minute. I don't know how I helped. What? Oh, God. This is not good. Why? Do you think they watched your show and you talked about our life and our marriage and do you think they were like, oh, my God. our life's much better oh no we've been used we've been used as that our life's much better than theirs I'd rather that than think that she then went back and thought about me while having sex with him I don't like that no he said innocent she might have been thinking about you oh my god that's quite cool have I had a threesome is that my threesome have I the saddest threesome ever That's the saddest threesome ever.

53:20Rosie Ramsey:Someone was just slyly thinking about you. That's horrible. I'll take it. I'll take it. Where was I? We come as a team. Where was I in your thoughts and your mind, eh? Eh? Sin. Me and me granny tits. Grandma's can't get involved in that. No, you know what? It's grandmas you can. I'm not being interested. If you want to have a threesome and you're a grandma, you'll bloody go for it. It would be better. It's coming back to us. I've told you my... No, I don't want a threesome. I'm just saying when we're older, I want to get better at sex. I'm not disappointing two women at the same time. You think this is?

53:48True.

53:49Rosie Ramsey:Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. Hello. This is a random one, all right? And it's a bit self-indulgent. Well, kind of. So? So? This isn't exactly the usual gossip you guys share on the podcast, but I've been a listener from the early days of the pod and have listened to most episodes a few times. Oh, bless you. Thank you. So lovely. So I felt like I knew a lot about you guys, but every few months, Rosie mentions another random job that she's never mentioned before. most recent one being working in an autism unit and working in a nursing home. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I did. So I guess my question is, how many jobs has Rosie actually had?

54:23Rosie Ramsey:It's been baffling me for a while now. As someone who has had three jobs, I'm coming up 30. Wow. So she's listed all the ones that she knows and I have added actually ones that she hasn't. This is amazing. Okay. So these are all genuine. Is it weird that I had so many jobs? This is my longest job, by the way. This one is your longest job. Congratulations. And your longest relationship. Oh, God. Yes, congratulations. Hey, hey, hey. Life's young. So, these are the jobs that she got. Right. He actually, sorry, I don't know. Minchella's Dorothy Perkins, Pondon's Blue Coats, The Gadget Shop, Nursery Nurse Worker, Teaching Assistant, Worked in an Autism Unit, I did.

54:57Rosie Ramsey:Inland Revenue, Worked in Roads as a Cabaret Singer. That is true. A Cabaret Band Singer, Radio Host, Nursing Home, Then Podcaster, etc. Thank you and thank you for the podcast. Bloody, bloody, blah. The ones that she hasn't mentioned. Yeah. Oh, Palmer Bar, which was a bar, bar work. In South Shields, yeah. Yep, the body shop. Yeah. River Island. I was a receptionist at the photocopier place. You know, I had to ring everyone. What tour another one did. Every time we drive past, you're pointing at it. Yeah, horrible. That's nice. I was a recruitment consultant for a little while. That's when I had to do the, they had to fit the shops in the office.

55:29Rosie Ramsey:Yeah. Leaflets for a posh clothes shop. Yeah. In Sunderland. I was a presenter for music events in the Northeast. Christmas work involving pantomimes. Santa's naughty. I was an elf. Yeah. Do you remember? A high school musical I did around the social clubs. And that's it, really. That's all I could think of. Wow. A lot of jobs. A lot of jobs? And I actually don't think I've said more. I thought I'd had a lot of jobs. I don't think I've said more. So I had all sports. Well, paper round. No. There weren't. Nobody was asking you. Oh, there didn't want no mind. Nobody was actually asking you. You talk about yourself enough.

56:02Somebody or someone might email.

56:03Rosie Ramsey:They might, but what you had, like four, five, six? It's not even worth mentioning. It's not interesting. you can see the variation in mine you can see at times when I got very desperate for money is there prostitution on there as well? never actually done prostitution but can I tell you right now if I'd have been younger and OnlyFans was about can't say I wouldn't have you 100 % would have had I probably would have wapping out your tits on OnlyFans 100 % I wouldn't have done face stuff would have just done body stuff yeah fuck it I would have we all know you would have accidentally shown your face on the first one.

56:41The first one. You'd have bent down to pick something up and gone, ah! And, ah, I've already uploaded it, I can't delete it! And that'll be it. And you go, ah, I love it, so let's go full on it. Probably. Anyway, thank you

56:52Rosie Ramsey:for the person who got all my jobs. It was cute. I think it was a lady. Cute to go down memory lane. Yeah. All on your own. Just down the... I try to join in. You mean, list your jobs. Go on. All sports. Inland Revenue We were both at the same time All sports Stadium of Light Inland Revenue Went to the Inland Revenue End of Sort of contract party And hoiled up in a taxi On the way home And had to spend Give 60 quid the taxi driver So back to Stadium of Light For money And then The New Crown Pub And then Stand Up Brilliant It was also I also The Clothes Shop USC I also got accepted for a job for USC and turned up a month early and then couldn't get it and had to go back to the stadium again.

57:43Stadium of Light was like my little safety net. It just caught us every time I fucked up. That's nice.

57:48Rosie Ramsey:I forgot about the... I worked in the women's plus-size clothing shop. Do you remember? No. I did. It was at the Metro Centre. I can't remember what it was called. It was opposite the leather shop. Is it still there? Leather bags, leather coats. Everything's leather. They do big leather jackets. I think it's called Land of Leather. Land of Leather? I'm sure it is called Land of Leather. It's the Land of the Leathers. I don't think I've never, I've never bought any Land of, there's a quote, we used to say Land of Leather quite a lot. From that, maybe it was, yeah. We did just say Land of Leather, yeah.

58:21The Land of the Leather. I don't think it's still there. It did everything. We're going to have to have a look. It was like bags, hats, long leather coats.

58:29Rosie Ramsey:Just one bloke worked there. Yeah. Same bloke. I mean, it fucking smelled incredible. Oh, yeah, it was lush. But leather's gone the way of fur now, though. Leather's like bad. Leather's gone the way of fur. Because it's cow, isn't it? It's gone the way of fur. So people don't wear it anymore. Fucking hell. Come on, let's find out. End of an era at the Metro Centre. There's a famous shop shuts. Land of Leather. 7th of March, 2026. This year it shuts? Can we have a minute? That was in the Chronicle. Chronicle! Round of applause for Land of Leather. 36 years of trading our full life. Yeah. Wow. Plus four.

59:05Rosie Ramsey:A minute for London leather. But again, it is quite, you know, it's gone the way of fur. It's like wearing, you know, yeah. Shutters are pulled down on the retail unit. With a note on them reading, we are now closed. The shutters were also made of leather. That was the weirdest bit. Yeah. The weirdest bit for me. Smelled incredible. Shutters down. I don't think it's moved anywhere else. I think it's just done after 36 years. Well, exactly. Does it say why? It'll be because no one's buying leather anymore. Everything's for leather now. I hope he's all right. Who? Mr. Leather. Larry Leather? I hope so.

59:41I know what you mean. It is sad.

59:42Rosie Ramsey:It's gone back in the sun. What? Doesn't make any sense. It's just because he looks like leather. I wonder how much leather stuff he had left over. Do you think his house is all leather? They might have done it. Why didn't they do a shutting down sale? Are you upset? Are you now upset that you missed the shutting down circle? Because, you know, I do this, you know, though. Something shuts down and I go, oh, my God. We all did it with Woolworths. We all did it with Woolworths. Oh, Woolworths, man. Woolworths shut down and we all went, oh, no. Never went. I used to love going there when I was 10.

1:00:11Right. Well, that's not a thing. What are you talking about?

1:00:14Rosie Ramsey:Do you know the pick and mixes were all just out of date chocolate? I had a boyfriend who worked there. He told us. Right, okay. It was all out of date tins. So, you know, you're going in, you've got the pick and mix, and you're thinking, oh, get in. all out of date so they would just decant the out of date stuff into the picker mix so everyone could just take it yes wow I know I was devastated well of course still got this nice one yeah I like the level of this devastation it was in fact I can tell you exactly what the level of devastation was this is a direct impression of it well really how out of date are we talking are they oh that's just they taste the same oh what a shit We were fine.

1:00:55Rosie Ramsey:Do you remember what the picker makes at Woolworths? It was unbelievable. There was two, you could walk around it. It was like, it was an aisle of its own, double-sided. And they had the toy bit downstairs. Toy bit was unbelievable. I remember I was obsessed and I can still remember this like dollhouse. I can smell it, man. Oh, God. Was it made of leather? No, of course it wasn't leather. Bab-a-do-ba-ba-do-ba-ba-do-ba. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Thank you so, so much for listening to this week's episode of Shack Married and Noise. Next week, we're going to come back, we're going to be rested we're going to be looking great I'm going to have had multiple plastic surgeries and we're going to be on top we're going to be on top we'll be back can it bloody wait it's going to be unrecognisable thank you so so much for listening we really do appreciate it if you want to get in touch it's shagmarydenord at gmail.com send us an email if you want to send a voice note 07874 406650 chrisramseycomedy.com to hoover up the last few tickets for my tour that starts next week can't wait to get back out there And we'll be back in the years next week.

1:01:54Thank you very much. Bye. Bye. Love. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans.

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