BFT's, Bum Washing Toilets and is Rosie Launching her Country Music Career?

1 May 2026 · 57 min · 26 chapters

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In short

The hosts (Rosie and Chris) return from tour and riff on old-school “remembering stuff” without phones, BFTs/BLTs (big fat tits / bacon lettuce tomato), selling clothes on Depop, and a series of “room service dilemmas.” They also discuss smart/bum-washing toilets, children’s dinosaur book naming “beefs,” car washing guilt vs DIY, and tour life with a new tour manager (Mick). They finish with listener questions, including a Grindr story about a stranger requesting feces-related sex acts, plus musical voice notes and a country-music joke song.

Guests

No external guests. Only Rosie and her husband Chris, plus a recurring mention of tour manager Mick (not interviewed as a guest).

Key claims

Phone-free remembering is “invigorating”; bum-wash toilets are “unbelievable” (heated seat, front/back wash); dinosaur books are overly difficult with obscure names; DIY car washing causes watermarks; the “ruler in the ear” story is a real Amazon-camera ear inspection.

Notable examples

Libertines vs Baby Shambles vs Dirty Pretty Things; a Cardiff hotel “bum-wash plaza” toilet; ordering room service “Mr Ramsey” breakfast with avocado; a 1.4 cm ruler fragment found in an ear via an Amazon ear camera.

Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.

Chapters

Tap a time to open that second in VO

Welcome Back Chris

1:12 to 1:40

Chris returns home and shares his experience on tour.

“Hello, you are listening and watching Shagmary Denoid with me, Rosie, and my husband, Chris.”

Boob Jobs and Personal Preferences

1:40 to 2:12

Discussing opinions on cosmetic surgery and personal preferences.

“we both got our summery shirts on today we look jazzy as fuck jazzy AF jazzy AF why do people don't understand people who get boob jobs I'll never understand people who want larger breasts because honestly I hate them.”

Singing and Musical Memories

2:12 to 2:39

Chris shares a humorous story about singing and music memories.

“that you had them you'd go again let's just paraphrase.”

Old School vs. Technology

2:39 to 3:38

A nostalgic discussion on remembering things without phones.

“Or are you just doing this to get people to watch the YouTube?”

Music Bands and Trivia

3:38 to 4:25

Chris and Rosie recall various music bands and trivia.

Food Memories and Sandwiches

4:25 to 4:51

Sharing nostalgic food memories and sandwich discussions.

“Went back to the hotel and was sitting chilling.”

Crisp Sandwiches and Breakfast

4:51 to 5:20

Rosie talks about her unusual breakfast choices.

“And Mick was talking to a manager, Mick, who's going to feature heavily in this podcast.”

The Sandwich Debate

5:20 to 6:01

Debating the merits of different sandwiches, especially BLTs.

“I went, phones down, old school, remembering.”

Tour Success and Audience Reception

6:05 to 7:09

Chris discusses the success of his recent tour and audience reactions.

“Okay, well, tell me what the year was and I can tell you what I was listening to.”

The Love for Touring

14:00 to 14:37

Hosts discuss the joy and commitment involved in their current tour.

“So, and I think those few years where you didn't do it, you really missed it and you actually realized how much you love it and you really, you just put in more into this tour than I think you have on your other ones.”
Show all 26 chapters

The Importance of Breathing Space

14:38 to 15:22

Conversations about the value of downtime in creative processes.

“And thank you to everyone who's come and see the rest of you all in the future.”

A Breakfast Order Gone Wrong

15:23 to 18:11

A humorous story about a hotel breakfast mishap during the tour.

“I've just had all of these stories saved up.”

The Bum-Washing Toilet Debate

20:55 to 23:59

Hosts engage in a lighthearted debate about the merits of high-tech toilets.

“Okay, good, because I've got no idea what to get you.”

Beef with Children's Dinosaur Books

24:00 to 27:51

Discussion about the complexities of reading dinosaur books to children.

Car Wash Confessions

28:01 to 29:40

The hosts candidly share their feelings about getting their cars washed and the awkwardness involved.

DIY Car Wash Experience

29:41 to 31:00

Discussion about the pleasures and challenges of washing cars themselves, including humorous anecdotes.

“But then I did realise, when I got back, the watermarks are horrendous.”

Tour Manager Tales

31:01 to 33:20

The hosts share funny stories about their new tour manager and the chaos of tour life.

“So as I mentioned before, new tour manager, Mick.”

Town Crier Laughs

33:21 to 35:00

An amusing tale about a town crier and the reactions it sparked among the hosts.

“what about gaslighters 10 for a pound 10 for a pound you gaslighters but yeah yeah Yeah, Town Crier goes out and does all the news and stuff.”

Sleeping Arrangements and Marriage

35:01 to 36:24

The hosts discuss their preferences for sleeping arrangements in marriage and the humorous misunderstandings that arise.

“And I looked at you yesterday with hope in my eyes and I said, hey, you know, soon, in the not too distant future, we'll probably be able to sleep, share a bed together now, me and you, on a long-term basis.”

Strange Hookup Stories

38:15 to 42:00

The hosts react to a bizarre hookup request involving a stranger's unusual kink.

“Basically, when I was on Grindr many, many, many moons ago, I got a message, and I very use that term loosely, a gentleman who...”

Bathroom Humor: Toilet Conversations

42:00 to 43:20

Join in on a humorous discussion about personal hygiene and toilet preferences.

“It opened up a very intellectual discussion.”

Country Music Aspirations

43:20 to 45:28

The hosts explore the allure of country music and its storytelling simplicity.

“give us one minute I've got one two seconds okay so mine's just a chance Mine's like a football song Yeehaw!”

Ear Discovery: A Surprising Story

45:28 to 47:44

Listeners are treated to a wild story about an unusual object found in an ear.

“Oh, our children will never know what that means.”

Tightwad Tales: The Proposal Dilemma

47:44 to 52:28

A listener shares a story about an indecisive boyfriend and a long-awaited proposal.

“Never in a million years did I think he was about to show me...”

Engagement Rings: Expectations vs. Reality

52:28 to 56:00

The hosts discuss the significance of engagement rings and personal choices in relationships.

“It depends what kind of person you are, right?”

Jewelry and Wedding Rings: Expectations vs. Reality

56:00 to 57:24

The hosts discuss the significance and expectations surrounding engagement rings and wedding jewelry.

“A man who, let's be honest, I couldn't pick you fucking clothes.”
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Transcript

Automatic transcript. May contain errors.

0:00Coming up on this week's episode of Shagman and Annoyed. We talk remembering stuff. Old school. BFTs and BLTs. Which is your favourite. To get your mouth around. I'll tell you exactly what my favourite is. Smart toilets. I had a turn on one recently. It's unreal. Room service dilemmas. I want to say we've got beefs, but we've got our beef. Because Wanoa doesn't have one this week. You'll find out who. Questions from the public. And musical voice notes. Enjoy! Last night, you spent two hours deciding what to wear to the party. This morning, it'll take you two minutes to list it on Depop and make your money back.

0:35Just grab your phone, snap a few photos, and we'll take care of the rest. The sheer dress and platform heels you'll never wear again? There's a birthday girl searching for them right now. Your one-and-done look is about to pay for your next night out. Or at least the ride home. Your style can make you cash. Start selling on Depop, where taste recognises taste. Pepsi Prebiotic Cola, an original and cherry vanilla. That Pepsi taste you love, with no artificial sweeteners and 3 grams of prebiotic fibre. Pepsi Prebiotic Cola, unbelievably Pepsi. Hello, you are listening and watching Shagmary Denoid with me, Rosie, and my husband, Chris.

1:16He's back. Hello. He's back off his tour. I'm back. I'm back. Welcome home, dickface. thank you and so love thank you for the welcome home dickface card and banner you made as well you are so welcome didn't really do that obviously for everyone else I haven't really been anywhere but I'm now obviously because the podcast has still been happening every week but I'm now back full time I'm here I'm opening a fucking grill for the summer only for the summer well it's been the summer we both got our summery shirts on today we look jazzy as fuck jazzy AF jazzy AF why do people don't understand people who get boob jobs I'll never understand people who want larger breasts because honestly I hate them.

1:56Right. Hate them. Right. Well I can tell you right now I do believe I don't know who the band is but I do believe a band sung it best. Might be a chord player. For the grass is always greener on the other side Naeba's got a new cladish. I think I'd get rid of them and I'd miss them. No I think if you didn't have them you'd want them and if you now that you had them you'd go again let's just paraphrase. For the grass is always greener on the other side Mabel's got a new car that you want to drive Time is running that you want to stay alive Ooh, that was the first time you've ever sung in tune? I got seven years, seven years.

2:32Oh my God, I was singing the other day in the back of the two of them. We've been doing the gig, the podcast, and it's the first time I've actually harmonized. I've known you for longer than seven years. Well, you haven't. I was in the van. Stop it, man. Or are you just doing this to get people to watch the YouTube? Is that what this is? you think if I if you go on about your tits enough on the podcast people will go hold on let's have a look at these bad lads okay bring them to the bring them to the um can you get them off the table please the table's leaning I know exactly I'm kidding I'm kidding um I was at the back of the car the other day I've got a new tour manager Mick more about Mick later um but we've got a new tour manager Mick he's a lovely man and uh I was at the back of the car and I can't remember what I did but I started singing I just sung something I can't remember what it was just passing the time just a phrase and i sung it the way you do and he sang or sung whatever and he went like he's tooted with like super grass and stuff back in the day he's like a big music tour manager okay cool and i finished singing and he went oh chris i didn't know you couldn't sing i was fucking devastated but he's so like mild and quiet and it just came from nowhere and i was like oh you fucking that's a nice one i never knew you couldn't sing i never I'm actually going to Jane S tonight rehearsals I might say that to people wow that's good vibes for your singing club when they're practicing their solos I'll go oh my god I didn't know you couldn't sing can't wait actually do because then you get kicked out and then you'll be back in the house on Wednesday night because I'm sick of sick of solo pairing on a Wednesday night unbelievable guys thank you so much for watching if you're watching please subscribe on YouTube thank you so much for listening if we've been in your beautiful ears since day one we can't thank you enough thank you so so much for being part of this again just absolute fucking bullshit but we love it and we love you thank you now without further ado it's time for this week's lucrative lucrative sponsor now I did this the other day this is old school I'm bringing it back I'm going to be a Luddite just like you we're smashing technology right okay this week's lucrative lucrative sponsor is sitting in silence and trying to remember stuff right okay yeah so you know I don't want to live like that because that's setting alarm for everything no no no you do So we were in a hotel bar the other day after the gig.

4:51Went back to the hotel and was sitting chilling. And Mick was talking to a manager, Mick, who's going to feature heavily in this podcast. He was talking about different bands. And I went, oh, what was that band that them two? So it was the Libertines. I was like, oh, Baby Shambles. Are we not meant to guess? No, no. So listen. So Libertines was the main band with Pete Doherty and Carl Barat. Yeah. And then Pete Doherty went and did Baby Shambles. and then Carl Bratt went and did another band and I went, oh my God, what was that band called? And both of them went to grab their phones and I went, no, no.

5:21I went, phones down, old school, remembering. And I urge everyone to do it. I said this years ago. I said, and it's happening already, we're all going to get so sick of their phones that we're just going to flip reverse it. I said this about the kids. When the kids get older, they're not going to want social media because they're going to be like, oh oh need a like do you you need a like on your holiday photos do you so nah i hope so i hope you're right i hope you think you'll go the other way and i think i think you'll go the other way and i think you'll be a sad oh well i'm telling you right like it was it was it was i'm gonna sound like such a boring twat it was invigorating it was exciting i was looking at mick mick was looking at me and there was a race there was a silent race going on to see who would remember the fastest come on then what was it no but it was it was like the fucking rush of adrenaline and triumph that I got when we got it was unbelievable and I remember the first time I did 8 out of 10 cats I don't know if it made the edit or not but I was sitting next to Sean Locke rest in peace and Sean was like someone Jimmy Carr said something he went I hate it when someone gets their phone out at the pub he goes the conversation's just gone he goes I'll just go home and it was obviously Sean Locke's of the way he said it was fucking amazing but I'm just doubling down on it for him and it was do you know what the band was called?

6:36no Dirty Pretty Things Oh, I don't... You've never heard of them? Great. Well, me and Nick both had. I don't recall.

6:47Is that a Christmas song? Deck the Hall. Deck the Halls. No, I don't... What was that? Bang Bang You're Dead was the song. Bang Bang You're Dead. Though we're so easily laid. Bang Bang. This was not my era. No. What year was this? This was very much my Leatherjacket. Okay, well, tell me what the year was and I can tell you what I was listening to. because it wasn't that. You know what? I was about to Google it. I'm not going to. No, it would have been 2000. I'm sitting in silence now. I reckon it would have been sort of... 2011? No, maybe even earlier. Maybe 2005. Oh, what was that? 2005, 2006, 2007, something like that.

7:23I was out. I was very into R &B at this time. Ah, okay. This was... What was it? It was... Bottom jeans. Yes. But with the fur. And it was... You got a$50 bill, put your hands up. Weirdly, I was into that as well. Put your hands up. Yeah, yeah. Not as much as me. Really? Fight you. Garage, mystique, all that kind of stuff. Okay. All I want is to be with you. There's been a lot of singing so far in this podcast. Let's not sing it on the head. Because listen, life's for a living. Put your phone down. Put your phone down. Have a sing. Honestly, I can't stress enough. With all your big fat tits. Sitting inside.

7:57Everyone go, yeah. Just everyone listening on audio. Just put your headphones down. Get yourself on YouTube. Look at Rosie's big fat tits. Like and subscribe. BFTs. A very different Roald Dahl book.

8:15We haven't actually had any meetings recently about the new kids book. I think it should be called BF Tits. Big Fat Tits. Great. For the girls starting puberty early. Right. You know, getting ready for them big fat tits. Okay, I will... I'll step out of this. You can take the lead on this one. I'll bow out of this one. I'm not writing a book for prepubescent teenage girls called Big Fat Tits. I'll put my name on that. I'll do it. I'm not, but yeah. I'll do it. I do believe that will end me in hot water. What about BFPs? Big fat periods. Again, stepping back, letting me wife take that. Supportive husband.

8:49I believe in you. I see you. Hey, listen. Go and do it. Big fat tits, they are becoming a thing of the past. Yeah. Are you joking? I don't understand. Well, everyone's thin. Ah, right. Okay. I get you. Everybody is wasted away before me eyes and all the big fat tits are becoming big fat saggy tits. And no one's got any BFTs. I actually need to make this sooner rather than later. Okay, yeah, yeah. I'll get right in a day. I found a pen earlier on. I don't know where I put it. I found a pen in this room. Once upon a time, there was a girl called Rosie. BFTs. Great. I'm starving. BLTs. Okay. Oh, sorry, because of BLTs.

9:28Because of bacon. Let's talk. Right, great. God, BLT, right, is such an underrated sandwich. Yeah. It's such a good... I'm sorry, when at home do you make? If I'm having a bacon sandwich, it's got butter and ketchup on, right? But with lettuce and tomato. Yeah, but it's cold. Yeah, but it's bloody lovely though. I, so I don't, I know what you mean. I don't think it's underrated. And this is, this is a really odd opinion that I've got of it. But I don't think it's a popular enough, nice enough sandwich to have a cool nickname. Oh. That's my thing. I don't think it's got the kudos to have been to have the three initials.

10:11I don't think it has. All right. That's sad. I really don't. I know that sounds harsh, but yeah, BLT. You're not cool enough to have that nickname. Go back to Bacon Letters tomorrow now. Fair enough. I don't know how it happened. If anybody is listening from Greg's, what happened to the egg mayonnaise sandwich in a white bun? This is when I used to eat white bread, so this is quite a while ago. with bacon and tomato salsa because that was the best sandwich that Greg's ever did and it's gone. Starting to work out where these big fat tits came from.

10:53Just full of egg mayo and salsa. Do you know, I remember the other day when we met actually, when I worked at the nursery. Yeah. do you know what I used to have for my breakfast sometimes I would drive to Morrison's car park if I was starting at 10 o 'clock because it was the 8 o 'clock shift that you started or the 9 o 'clock or 10 o 'clock and you would finish earlier or later depending right okay so if I started at 10 o 'clock I would go to Morrison's I would buy one of the fresh buns from the bread bit and I would have a crisp sandwich for your breakfast yeah but what the fuck how were you pooing what do you mean that would clog you up no end the day these days I don't know I just but yeah but can you believe that a dry crisp sandwich on a bakery bun oh white did you have a drink with it you didn't drink coffee at the time either what did you do just drink water just juice I think oh god crazy I'm not kidding my throat has dried out thinking about eating that in a hot car it was lovely it was a hot car that was the car the door didn't work I know you're climbing the pazanthus you've come a long way baby I know I know still got me big fat tits big fat tits over them gear stick Right, come on man Great, this episode is also sponsored by Big Factor We had a fight about the jingle We couldn't settle on a jingle So this is the jingle We hope you like the jingle Jing Ba-ba-do-ba-ba-do-ba-ba-do-ba Jingle Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shagmire and I Hello, hello Oh, listen, I've got some straight away.

12:31I've got something I think will make you laugh. Right. I obviously, well, first of all, thank you to everyone who came to the first leg of me tour, genuinely from the bottom of me heart. It's the best fucking time I've ever had on stage in me career. It must have been good because you kept getting standard ovations, which... Now, I wasn't going to mention them because it seems a little bit big-headed if I've mentioned them, but if you're mentioning them, I'm definitely going to go on about them because fucking hell... I can't believe it. I'm not kidding, right? And thank you again, everyone, for showing that love and support.

13:00before this tour, not including the Shagmari, by the way, I'd said earlier on as well, it's the best time I've had on stage. You cut us off, I was about to say, on me own stand-up because obviously the Shagmari No.2 was fucking just, I was too, I was a line deep. We were pissed. Mate, we were just pissed. I mean, I had a nice time, but I don't even know if the show was any good. It was really good. Well, was it? That was stand-up. But listen, in my career before this tour, I could count on one hand the amount of stand-up and ovations I've had. I'm not kidding. It didn't happen. No, very good, but you didn't get started on ovations.

13:32I don't know what happened. Did you have a breakdown? I don't know what happened, but I'm serious. Sorry. What? No, I've seen the show. I know why you got them, because it was a really good show. Thank you. But it was a bit weird. Nearly every night. Nearly every night. I kept texting you going, fuck another one. I'm like, what? To the point of where I was thinking, these venues got something new now to get people out where when the show's finished, the seats automatically fold in, so they've had to stand up. No, no. I think you've just grown up. I think you've just got better at it and you had a bit of time off.

14:02Yeah. So, and I think those few years where you didn't do it, you really missed it and you actually realized how much you love it and you really, you just put in more into this tour than I think you have on your other ones. And that's again, massive apologies to, I know I've got the second leg on sale. It's on sale now. Go to places I've been that sold out quickly and places I've never been. And I know I claimed again and again and again that I wasn't going to and I know I've made light of it, but I didn't know I was going to enjoy it this much. And it was like three nights in. I was like, Avalon was like, are you going to extend?

14:34And I was like, yes, I'll extend it. I fucking love it. I can't believe I've loved it this much. So that's all I'm going to say. Thank you so much. Second leg is on sale now. And thank you to everyone who's come and see the rest of you all in the future. Yeah. No, I think it's good. And there's also something to be said about like, but you know, like big time, huge actors. Yeah. They only do like one project at a time. I know what you mean. They keep their powder dry. Yeah. I think in the public eye, when you see people doing, I see it now. I see people on my Instagram and I go, they're doing really well.

15:03The burnout's coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I literally watch it and I'm like, it's in the post. Yeah. It's in the post because I feel like we have experienced it. And I think, you know, when you were getting ready for this tour, we were doing the podcast, the kids book, but it wasn't, which is mad in itself, but it wasn't crazy, crazy mad. And I think you've just had a bit of breathing space. And I think that's why it's so good because you weren't doing all the other shit. Well, not just that. I've just had all of these stories saved up. Loads of stories and things that have happened that have saved up that I haven't said on here.

15:29As I say on the tour, I'm not allowed to say on here. So they go on the stand-up. Crazy. So thank you. But listen, this is what I'm telling you. So it was the end of the tour. Now what happens is, we'll look at the hotel budget. So for the last two nights, we're well under on the hotel budget. It's not like you. Well, it's because I'm a hotel snob. I talk about it in the show. But obviously I stayed in golf hotels a couple of times, which were dead cheap. so we had this money so for the last two nights of the tour we stayed in this really nice hotel in Cardiff right right I mean here's me thinking you could have just got the money back it's just a little treat put it back into the family pot no what just a little treat wow that's mad so we just stayed in this really nice hotel we'd stayed in it on the smart way but it's really nice I don't remember well listen to this right so you know when you're in a nice hotel or a nice restaurant because they give it that although a lot of places start to now but they give it that you know any allergies we should be aware of and all that when you're ordering so I phoned up for breakfast I was in the room I randomly got this really nice room I think it was it was like under subscribe for the weekend so I got this lush like sweet right okay nice so I phoned up phoned up for breakfast and I said you know can I it was a nice room I'll have my room service breakfast so I was like hi hello Mr Ramsey yes can I please get order some breakfast of course Mr Ramsey how many people is it for were they English or Welsh I think she was English yeah I'm just doing it you know could have done the accent put a bit of effort in do you want us to do the accent good morning Mr Ramsey okay I can do the accent yeah come on Mr Ramsey how can I help can I have a order some breakfast please how many people are dining just one any allergies you should be aware of no no allergies dead posh she was lovely really well spoken tell she worked in a posh hotel nice and I went can I get scrambled eggs on toast yes sir what kind of toast white granary sourdough nice sourdough please I went can I get some black pudding on the side as well, please.

17:22Of course, yes. I said, can I also, can I get some avocado? It's not on the menu, but do you have any avocado? She went, no problem, I'll check. We got any avocado? I fucking lost it, right? I fucking lost it. I was lying in bed. I was like double-drawn. I got such a shock. I was pissing myself. And then she had a conversation with someone up there. And she was like, hello, sorry about that, Mr. And I was laughing. And she was like, Mr. Anzir, are you okay? And I was like, I went, I didn't expect you to scream it like that. I went, I'm not bothered, but it was so funny. Did you think she'd put you on mute or something?

18:00So she came to me room to deliver it and she was dead red. She went, I'm so sorry. I pressed the mute button on the phone, but I pressed it twice. So it muted you. Then it unmuted it. She was like, you should never have heard that. I'm so sorry. I went, yeah. I went, it fucking made me day. Luckily she had you on the other end of the phone. Well, yeah, you get some arsehole's complaint. I thought it was amazing. Gave her a tip on everything. Have you got any other guys? Just the, of course, Mr. There we go. It was like a sketch. It's like a sketch. Oh, I loved it. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba.

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21:02Do I have to? Just mental note. Okay, what? Mental note. Everyone, reminder, my 40th is in August, 3rd of August. What? toilet that washes your bum. No, because then we'd have to I've thought about this. I will not rest until my 40-year-old sphincter is being blasted with warm water. Right, well where is it going to go? Because you can't tell the kids. Oh, kitchen. Bathroom. No, fuck off. I know. But which one? Because the minute you tell them kids that's the minute that that fucker is broke. Right. And then you've just got are really ridiculously expensive. Ugly, by the way. They're not nice looking toilets.

21:44And how much do they cost to run? Okay, listen. I mean, I've sat on them before. They are warm and lovely, but... We stayed in London the other day and Carl was in the same hotel as me and I said to him... I mean, this hotel budget. Get a bit insane. How much money did you have left over? You're staying in the bum-washing hotel. This is insane. You're meant to be making money, not losing money. It's called the bum-wash plaza. very popular for the tourists for the gays no one's scratching their bum in that area no one's got an itchy bum because they're all just cleaners out they're all washing their bums douching douching heated seat I'm talking Rosie heated seat you sit down press it there was a back there was a button for back and there was a button for front terrified I watched press the button for front I did the button for front I had on my vagina for ages absolutely lovely it was probably going to hit me balls or something I wouldn't like that but the bum my word.

22:41Unbelievable. I'm not kidding. So I sent a call. I was like, mate, I was like, you've got the same kind of room as me. And he went, yeah. I went, is your toilet? Like, has it got... I went, have you had a shit? He went, yeah. I went, did you do the bum wash? He went, no. I went, did your toilet have a heated seat? He went, yeah. I went, you've got the bum wash? I went, press it. Press the bum wash. I'm not kidding. Did you soap it as well, though? Or did you just water? What do you mean, soap it? Did you wash your ass? or did you just rinse it with water? It's a jet wash. It just sprues the detritus off, I do believe.

23:13Detritus? Actually, that reminds me of something I want to talk about in a minute. Great. But literally the next day, I was so excited about it. I was like, I was pressuring him into having a shit. Yeah. I was like texting him going, have you had a shit yet? And he was like, no. And I was like, hurry up. And he was like, can you stop? But the thing is, it was amazing. You say get it for your birthday. I mean, we're going to have to do a full bathroom out. it's not just the toilet okay I've just had another thought so I'll add I'd use it I'd happily get one just if we can build something in the garden just a little outhouse that just says like a shed that just says like dad's dad's dangerous tools keep out just put it in there and I can just go at the bottom of the garden and I can just have my bum washed just on my own away from everyone listen I'm up for it right well me and you will use it the sooner you have shite outside the better do you remember when you had a poo the other month in the en suite guys I was so upsetting no you had a poo in the en suite and I went for like an early night and I was like why is my bedroom why is my bedroom stink of shit I was like I'm sorry I'm a grown woman with a decent job I should be able to go to bed without it stinking of shit like I don't live in a bedsit with a fucking bathroom in me bedroom like don't do not shit where I sleep right basically was that a night I wiped my eyes on your pillowcase must have been you deserved it great speaking of detritus yes I've currently got a beef with children's books okay okay because I know detritus is not a thing really to do with this but it just reminded us of the fact that every time I read a dinosaur book with Rafe I cannot pronounce what the dinosaurs are called and honestly it turns P's normally silent right at the beginning if the P's at the beginning but I just think reading your child on a night time shouldn't be as difficult as what these dinosaur books make it it's literally like and then and then and it's not just I know velociraptors and I know the T-Rex Tyrannosaurus Rex what the fuck number number Nimosaurus and the bloody Truffle Licking all about no ridiculous I understand so I it was give us four more dinosaurs that you know give us four more dinosaurs that you know right Velociraptor Tyrannosaurus Rex the one with the long neck what's that called it begins with a P no I don't know I don't know Rave knows more than me Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus that's fair enough I'm sorry I'll get the book for you do you know the flying one Velociraptor that's not the flying one Pegasus I don't know what's the flying one The flying one.

26:03Velociraptor? No, no. They've got the massive weights. No, it's not. You've made us forget it. I had it on the... It begins with a P, but it's silent. Pterodactyl, but it begins with a P. Eh? Yeah, it's a pterodactyl. Yeah. That's disgusting. So it's not even the F sound? It's pterodactyl. Yeah. That's... Where the fuck... Well, I'm sorry. You know Stegosaurus? Stegosaurus. I know that one. You know the one with the three horns? Yes. What's that one? Stegosaurus? No, no. Stegosaurus is the one with the things on its back. do you know the one with the three horns rhinoceros what's it called Chris I'm telling you this because I don't know the names of them rhinoceros is fucking great rhinoceros is the best tell us the name of that one that's a cute one tri tri I am trying triceratops there it is I am trying but listen I just think it's getting silly now I understand.

26:58It's getting silly. They're trying too hard. They're trying to be too clever. And you're putting in all the rogue ones that no one's ever heard of. I understand what you mean. They're bringing, if this was an album, they're bringing out the acoustic B-side that weren't released. Oh, gross. Yeah, yeah. Stick to the main. Stick to your big guns. Stick to the big guns. T-Rex. Velociraptor. Yeah. Stegosaurus, Triceratops, Pterodactyl. Delete the rest. Thank you. I'll get the book for you. It's ridiculous. Is it the, yeah. Is it O-Dinosaur? No. It's a different one. It's a different one. Wow. It's ridiculous.

27:26And it's a full story. It's not even like a fact book. Right. It's a full story where it's like, and then the bloody whatever it is said, and I was having to skip out the names. Diplodocus and that. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I know that one. Well, that wasn't in it. Yeah. I know what you mean. If I could be asked, I'd run and get it now, but I can't be bothered. But it was ridiculous. So that's my beef with the children's book world. I have to agree with you. Yeah. I have to agree with you. Thank you. Thank you for agreeing with us. so i've got a new obsession since you've been away okay but it's his name oh great wow jokes um it's not really not well i've only done it twice okay but you know what i'm like yeah um but i don't think i can carry on doing it because actually the results are really bad anyway um i had a bit of bird shit on the front of me car it's just a way to start i could you could have given us a thousand guesses and i wouldn't have guessed what that was well i had a bit of bird shit on the front of me car yeah and i was at the garage yeah and i thought i i don't i don't want to put them out of business well i'm never going to put them out of business but i they won't listen to this either i don't like going to get me car washed i don't know what it is we've talked about this before i got my car washed yesterday i fight i feel uh stupid um embarrassed guilty yeah i feel weird sitting there while some blokes literally are sweating to wash my car i just opened the door and like and me fucking car doors full of shit and like chewed up chewing gum and then open the door and i'm getting half suck Murray mints and that yeah yeah yeah and then they do around the rim and i'm fucking i haven't had a shower and i'm like i still can't get over the look they give you when you tell them you don't want an air freshener that smells like bubble gum oh yeah i hate bubble gum and i go i don't want that they go really and i'm like i don't want me fucking car to smell like a teenage they do a great job and i'm not going to stop going but i went yesterday i love them but i know i know i think i think we're talking about before everyone knows the feeling the feeling you're just sitting there and you're like do i look at them like what do i feel strange yeah and we've talked about that they're fucking what is that they wash it all and then they go forward forward forward forward stop you're like oh god what happened i think it's one revolution of the wheel but it's a lot further than i imagined yeah yeah anyway anyway what did you do so me and your obsession that i've done twice yeah i went to the garage yeah and i washed it myself ah with the gun in that the hot brush oh my god it's lush it's mint i know what you mean the feet the hot you feel the hot water and the bubbles coming through and you you do all your car but i couldn't so i i've only done i only do the front because i can't actually the brush does not go around at the back because i didn't pull forward enough and i think we've got quite a long car anyway so But then also, the jet washing it all off was lush.

30:13But then I did realise, when I got back, the watermarks are horrendous. So they didn't look good. But honestly, for them two times, I loved it. Do you know we've got a pressure washer at home? Yes. And we've got a foam gun. Well, I would love that. Yeah, cover the whole thing in foam. That might be my new job from now on. The brush isn't great. The brush can scratch your paint as well. I could hear you saying that in my head, but I thought, I'm having a nice time. Right. Well, that's all. And then there's a countdown. It's very stressful. I know. It's very, very stressful. But as I've been on a game show, it's like 34 seconds left and they still have all the foam on.

30:46I was like, oh my God.

30:50Dirty car. You've got to get your kicks where you can get them. Well done. I know what you mean. I do know what you mean and it is fun. I considered doing it yesterday but then I just went to the place and let the fellas do it because they dry it. The dryness of the thing. Your watermarks of it. I know. So there we go. So as I mentioned before, new tour manager, Mick. Very lovely man. he kind of got a baptism of fire because obviously me and Carl are in the van we're very much in our own little world and we swapped out Rhys for Mick because Rhys had to do the tech stuff so he was getting to the venue earlier so poor Mick, four days left on a tour, gets thrown in with me and Carl me and Carl go out in London during the day, we'll have a meal and a couple of pints of Guinness, a glass of red wine and we'll jump in the car to go to Bristol and we'll just fall asleep in the back like a couple of pigs like a couple of old gout ridden men who just fell asleep in the back.

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31:38That's alright. Amongst other things, you know, we're drinking on the way back and from different things. But on one of the mornings, I think it was was it the Sunday? Saturday morning. Saturday morning he was driving, we're from Poole to Cardiff. And he popped out in the morning because his brother lives in a town near. I'll not say the town just in case, but his brother and brother's wife live in a town near. and he went and he came back and he picked us up from the hotel afterwards and he had some pastries from stuff. He's like, oh, they're from my brother-in-law's house. I'm like, oh, thank you very much.

32:12And we're driving along and out of Norway, he just went, yeah, yeah, they're pastries. I got them off my brother's missus. I didn't actually see my brother this morning. He was out because he's the town crier. And we fucking, I'm not kidding, right? We fucking laughed uncontrollably for an embarrassing amount of time. I've known the man I've known the man 48 hours and he's just told us out of nowhere that his brother was the town crier hear ye, hear ye people have Stratford-upon haven that's not the place I've just made it up people have Stratford-upon this weekend's car boot sale will be headed, hear thee, hear thee that, with a fucking bell and he wears all the gear in certain posh old fashioned little towns it happens and he said it and we laughed and he giggled along at first and we kept laughing for ages and I'm going and I'm like I'm done this tear stringed right face and I'm going hey sorry Mick sorry and then completely cancelling out the apology by continuing to laugh we've never had so she doesn't have had a town cry back in the day I think there might be what about gaslighters 10 for a pound 10 for a pound you gaslighters but yeah yeah Yeah, Town Crier goes out and does all the news and stuff.

33:32I kind of love stuff like that, though. Oh, brilliant. Beautiful. I imagine it's a gorgeous place. Keep it going, but that's hilarious. I'm not joking. Laugh in his face for five minutes. I'm sorry, but all I can think, right, as a daughter. Yeah. As a girl daughter to a dad. Yeah. Imagine if your dad was the dad. Oh, fucking hell. The Town Crier was your dad.

33:57Oh, I'm sorry. absolutely not horrible I don't know if it's as bad obviously I've never experienced being a male but my dad was embarrassing anyway but fucking if he was a town crier it'd be bad wouldn't it Jesus Christ it'd be really bad but yeah sorry Mick but yeah just laughed in his face for easily 10 minutes oh well someone's got a date it's time for What's Your Be come on then come on then what's a beef you didn't say it no one saw if you're watching on YouTube you'll have seen that but you swung a hand round like Popeye getting ready to punch someone in a cartoon it's a punch that doesn't work they say you're coming a mile away I haven't got a beef you haven't got a beef because I've been so good no you haven't been here ah same thing and you just get on my tits in general but I don't have one get any BFTs me big BFTs I do have a beef with you oh that's brave wow one I shouldn't how dare I because you've been holding forth at home with the kids you've been amazing.

34:58However, I do have a very slight beef and it was yesterday. Yesterday, obviously because Robin's, you know, Robin's been in his own bed for a long, long time now and Rafe's still a bit of bed hopping going on so we still go sort of do separate beds just so it's not crowded in there if and when he does come in. And I looked at you yesterday with hope in my eyes and I said, hey, you know, soon, in the not too distant future, we'll probably be able to sleep, share a bed together now, me and you, on a long-term basis. And you looked at me like I just told you to go and clean the gutters. You just went, yeah.

35:35Honestly, I just think that you shouldn't sleep in a bed with adults. Right. I think adults should sleep in separate beds. For sleep, we can relax in there and do whatever else, but I want to sleep. What do you mean, whatever else? What can I do? Uno? Avocado smash? I'll just smash. Town crying. Yeah. I always town cry after sex. No, I just quite enjoy my little cuddles with Rick. Yeah, fair enough. I quite like it. Yeah, yeah. It's just a few. Now that you've explained it, that's fine. That doesn't upset us as much. It was just the initial face. Listen, I can't control my face. Fair. There's nothing I can do.

36:14Fair. And we've got so far into marriage now that it's absolutely that skill has gone. Okay. There is no controlling of the face. You just get what you're given. I'll take it. Yeah. Fair enough. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. With Plan B Emergency Contraception, we're in control of our future. It's backup birth control you take after unprotected sex that helps prevent pregnancy before it starts. It works by temporarily delaying ovulation, and it won't impact your future fertility. Plan B is available in all 50 U.S. states at all major retailers near you, with no ID, prescription, or age requirement needed.

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37:52Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia gravis or Lambert-Eaton syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects. Why wait? Ask your doctor, visit BotoxChronicMigraine.com, or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more. It's time for questions from the public! Questions from the public! public public public as always if you'd like to get in touch at shaggedmarriedannoyed gmail.com if you'd like to send a big old story which we'd absolutely love or if you want to send a quick little voice note that'll be a long voice note I don't want to give a shit 0 7 8 7 4 4 0 6 6 5 0 is the number for the WhatsApp big love keep them coming okay right listen to this one let's talk about who and me let's talk about shit baby let's talk about all the good shit and the bad shit that have been Let's talk about shit Let's talk about shit With a little bit of shit Let's talk about shit She ain't married and shit Good for you, pal.

38:56I hope that was good. It was great. Basically, when I was on Grindr many, many, many moons ago, I got a message, and I very use that term loosely, a gentleman who... Oh, my God. If only I had the screenshots to send you this. there was a gentleman who said i want you to fuck me thinking okay that's nothing unusual because kind of it's a hookup and um he says i want you to put your hands below my ass something along the lines of this i can't remember and is that you can feed me shit while you're fucking me and then afterwards i want to lick your hands to wipe the shit off and then i just messaged back you need help and the fucker blocked me i was like you think i'm the insane one wow listen i'm not into kink shaming but i will shame you for that yeah like no yeah i don't want to see what you have for breakfast oh dude oh my god right first of all thank you for the singing second of all he took a while to get into that but he's just sung a song and then he's trying to sing and then he's trying to tell this story fair play right fair play hard thing to describe but I imagine what he's saying is he wants so he wants he wants him to just like poo has it happening and then feed him it from underneath the thing so the thing I find wild about that.

40:38It's not even necessarily the poo element of it, okay? It's the fact that this is a stranger. Yes. They've not worked, they're not in a relationship and he's got this secret kink and they're working up to it and he's like, look, we love each other, we've been together for five years, please, just once, let us shit in your hands and you might be like, no, but they go, okay, fair enough. This is a stranger. This is his opening, this is his hello. This is his hello, please may we. Can you remember when people just used to say ASL? What's ASL mean? Age, sex, location. Is that what it was? In the back of the...

41:13Chat rooms. Oh, okay. Chat rooms on the internet. Yeah. Old school. ASL. Age. How old are you? Yeah. Sex. Yeah. Made or female at the time. Location. Yeah. Where are you in the world? We had a big... Sorry. Now it's... Oh. Hi. Don't reply. No time for hello. This is what I want you to do while... Like, come on. Question. Yeah? Not that I'm trying to make this a male-female thing, but I am going to make this a male-female thing. Go for it, this whole podcast is a male-female thing. Do you think, or what percentage do you think of women are messaging men or other women saying, Can I shit while you're doing this?

41:51Tell me truthfully. I've got to agree that it'll be a lot less. Yes. A lot less. You're so gross. don't bundle me in with the you're in there you and your sicko toilet that's what you want I want my bum clean give me a blowjob while I'm getting my arse cleaned off this toilet it is me 40th that's your present I'm going to pretend I've got you this posh toilet but I'm actually just going to have a water bottle filled with warm water and just put it around the back thank you for that though because that was interesting. Yes. It opened up a very intellectual discussion. I love it. Right. What else we got?

42:38Hang on. There's a song here. Are you ready? A what? A song, apparently. All right, ready? Hello, Chris. Hello, Rosie. I'm just listening to last week's episode about the guy who finished in the bin and I'm a little bit disappointed in Rosie because she said, I'd rather it in the bin than on my tits. if that's not the start to a song I don't know what it is because I'm not a country song I'd rather read in the bin than over my tits that's all I have to say bye

43:15it really is you would normally sing that you would normally sing that well hang on a second give us one minute I've got one two seconds okay so mine's just a chance Mine's like a football song

43:40Yeehaw! Welcome to the rodeo Here we go I'd rather it in the bin than on my titties You better finish in that bin than on my titties I ain't got no time for a wash. I don't want to bother with that dross. I'd rather it in the bin than on my titties. Yeehaw! Very good. That's it, boys. Oh, very good. Mine was just a football song. Okay, go on then. So, I'd rather it in the bin than on me tits. I'd rather it in the bin than on me tits. I'd rather it in the bin than on me tits. because I'd rather it in the bin than on my tits. Hey, hey, hey. All together. Oh, lovely. I love songs.

44:37I love lamp. I'd rather it in the bin than on my titties. It's funny though, isn't it? Because I might look back on this and this might actually be how I conquer the world of country music. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Country music is lush. Massive at the minute. It's always been massive. Yeah. It's always been massive. but it's just gigantic at the minute. No, it's not. It's bigger than what you think. No, I'm joking. No, it's always been huge. Bigger now, though. I don't think it is. I don't think it is. It's huge. It's grown is what I'm saying. But the thing, it's a simplicity. No, but listen, I think it's a simplicity of country music and the simplicity of the songs.

45:23Yeah. And the way it is just like a story, but it's yeah it's just luck anyway there we go babadoo babadoo babadoo hi rosie and chris hi i arrived home from work last night my boyfriend telling me this corker and i thought you know who'd want to hear this chris and rosie obviously so and we do um i open the door and i'm greeted by a very smiley man who's awfully proud of himself he starts by saying he bought a contraption on amazon for 11.99 that can look inside your ear and it's got a camera on the end which you can see through your phone so you put it in you see the camera he then went on to tell me he'd been having pressure in his ear for a little while sort of occasionally feeling dizzy and just generally on and off earache over the years don't buy a thing go to the fucking doctor i go to the ear there's a ear just google ear clinic there's one down the road from me that i go to i get my ears cleaned all the time i've uh i produce too much wax apparently so i do i produce You are a slippery little motherfucker.

46:21Waxy little weasel. Wax on, wax on. Oh, our children will never know what that means. What? Wax on, wax off. Wax on. Just put Clarke Kid on. They wouldn't watch it. I've tried. Put the newest one on with Jaden Smith. Do they have wax on, wax on? I imagine. I haven't seen the one with Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan, but if they didn't put wax on, wax off in, what's the fucking point? I think Robin Wood watched Karate Kid now though God do you remember how tense it was it was so it was fucking terrifying no not just that it was terrifying brilliant he was just trying to go on dates with his lads and the fucking lads bullied they hide a bonsai tree over the cliff and then took his fucking rope off it was terrifying cruel it was like all of them films like no wonder we're riddled with anxiety all of the films we watched as children like no wonder we can't go when I was a kid I couldn't go on the met road to the arcade well I think I was going to get my head punched in because every film you watch there's fucking the bullies while like 40-odd-year-old men pretending to be school kids and they were literally trying to murder people.

47:20Yeah, you're right. You're right. Terrifying. Biff Tannen was a fucking sexual predator in Back to the Future. McFly! Literally trapping a girl in a car until George McFly comes and punches him. Oh, that's great. Bad times. Great. Yeah. Listen. Yeah. So he bought this thing on Amazon, all right? Yeah. Because he's been getting dizzy. Maniac. Finally he thought, I'll have a little looking time here. None of this he had told me previously. Right, so this is a surprise. Yeah. Never in a million years did I think he was about to show me... Dot, dot, dot. What do you think he's found in his ear? What's he found in his ear?

47:59What if, don't look. I'm not looking. Listen, he has found something in his ear. He's found something in his ear. What's he found? That's making him dizzy. Right, so there's something in his ear. There's pressure. So obviously there's not going to be wax. It's going to be something else. is it it's either a part no because if it was a part you are never going to get this I know you get this you're never ever going to get it you're never going to get this you're never going to get this you will never get this okay then if I'm never going to get it it was amazing if I'm never going to get it I'm going to go left field I'm going to go crazy here I believe it is a part of a Star Wars toy oh closer than I thought you would but you are wrong.

48:43Great. Never in a million years did I think he was about to show me 14 millimeter of ruler. What? Yep. That had obviously snapped off in there when he was at school anywhere from age 15, sorry, anywhere from 15 to 17 years ago. No wonder he had earache. I've attached photos. There is photos. Sorry. 1.4 millimeters, 1.4 centimeters of ruler in his ear. Yeah. and he's a man yeah so it was in his ear from school yeah it was like it looks like an old ruler hang on let's just put ruler in will it come up is this photo of the ruler in his ear mhm or is this photo just of a bit of ruler no it's the ruler in his ear I can't believe this sorry to everybody listening yeah I mean it's not oh right so it's yeah okay so he's got it there that that is unbelievable I wish I had the photo of it in his actual ear annoyingly Well, how are you going to get that?

49:42Oh, no, hang on. Because he took me his little phone, didn't he? Yeah. Oh, my fucking Christ. Put it there in his ear. You know me. What? I'm a hypochondriac. Yeah. My ear's now hurting. Really? My ear's now hurting off looking at that. That's how fucking disgusting that is. How long has it been? Thank you. Yes, and there could be something in there. We can't rule it out. Oh, gross. Eh? God, well done. Come on. Come on. hey Rosie and Chris hi don't need to keep me anonymous but I haven't actually saved your name so actually sorry I will this story is too funny not to share my cousin Nicola has been with her boyfriend Mickey for a few years now hey Mickey you're so fine you're so funny you blow my mind hey Mickey hey Mickey I do love you I love you too I wonder because you're joining he has a reputation for being a total tight arse when money is concerned awful okay in every conversation he will say yeah can't afford that cost of living crisis you know great all that kind of stuff we all know someone yeah anyway last year they booked a holiday of a lifetime to the Dominican Republic okay in brackets yep not so cozy now not so cozy live now eh Mickey not so what cozy live now cozy cozy life cozy live cost of living crisis oh not so cozy livey cozy livey oh cozy livey I like that sorry mate Oh, I'm going to say that from now on next time.

51:12Please don't. Please. What? You're going to say that it's a Cozzy Livy? Sorry, Cozzy Livy. Yeah, if someone says, oh, if I'm walking down a high street and someone says, sorry, can I stop you? Sorry, mate, Cozzy Livy. It sounds like a type of plant. Cozzy Livy? Cozzy Livy. Just say that Cozzy Livy. No, don't. I'm good, I'm good. I'll be more afraid of you. Sorry, I'm saying Cozzy Livy. It's in me shortcuts now. It's in me shortcuts in my phone. Great. One day, whilst walking along a beautiful beach, Nicola was sure he was going to propose. Oh, God. He took her hand and said, this would be a lovely romantic place to propose.

51:46But with the car needing a service, I just can't afford it.

51:52Oh, no. Oh, bro. It's now April 2026 and she's still waiting. Just don't say it. So there you go. Listen, right, one, you know what I said about people, I'm not having to go with people who can't afford things. I'm having a go with people who are just tight and say they can't afford things. We all know someone like that. Secondly, I don't believe in this. It has to be three months wages and all that. It's just fucking, it's more of the gesture. I'm sure she would have just loved you to say it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Get a fucking shitty little ring from anywhere. Who cares? Get a wooden one.

52:26Get a lovely little carved wooden ring off the internet. It depends what kind of person you are, right? Because if you're marrying someone who is adamant that you spend a certain amount on a ring and that doesn't sit well with you, don't propose to them. I would agree. I'd 100 % agree. Yeah. If you believe that that's what it should be and they also believe that, then you're probably marrying the right person. If you're literally like, it has to be this much and they're like, yeah, I agree. Yeah. Then you're marrying the right person. But if you... Because incidentally, you weren't bothered about that, but incidentally, I did spend three months wages on your ring because it was just, it was in one of them claw machines at the fair and it just took so many times to get it.

53:04I wouldn't have been bothered how much it was. again should have been honestly probably worth pennies but honestly they don't grip most of the time they don't grip but I do have to say which is a bit shameful I don't know if anyone knows this oh we're going there you're going to tell everyone well why not no listen again for the amount of I started saying this on me too I started saying look can you all get out of her Instagram comments whenever I'm putting new dates on for this tour, this extra tour, get out of her fucking comments going, hey Rosie, how do you put up with him? I'm not booking fucking stag dudes.

53:42I'm booking work. But let's... Why turn this on you? What are you talking about? What I'm saying is I could do with a bit of goodwill from our fans because they all seem to side with you. So let's, come on, let's tell them all this. Okay, so Chris bought me an engagement ring, which I love, by the way. Still got it in a box. In a box, yeah. Yeah, in the box. Yeah. No, what happened was, you know, life changed. Yeah. Me, independent woman, got a better job, earned a lot more money. And I thought, I want to upgrade this. So I used my own money to buy a new engagement ring, which was more expensive.

54:17Yeah. Because I didn't want to walk around with that piece of shit.

54:26Because I am a sentimental. I kind of get it. You didn't pick it. You're going to wear it every day. No, I loved it. No, but no, Chris, listen, time's changed. And I was earning more money. And I, you know, wanted to have a nicer ring. He has a thought. But I've still got it. Have you ever heard of Little Uzi Vert? Sorry? Have you ever heard of Little Uzi... Apologies if I'm saying this wrong. It's either Little Uzi Vert or Little Uzi Vert. Rapper. Oh. Uh-huh. Yeah. I think. So what you could do if you do love the ring... Am I thinking of Bon Appetit? What did you say? Little Uzi Vert. No. Right.

55:00So Little Uzi Vert, what he does... And if anyone who knows who he is, you'll know where I'm going with this. Rosie doesn't, so this is going to be fun. If you don't like wearing the ring that I got you, but you do still love it, you still love it. Yeah. Okay, well, what he has, he got it snatched off him, but he's getting it redone. He's got an emerald, a green emerald, embedded in his forehead. Would you maybe consider... Like fucking body face of... What's he called? Like vision. Like vision. Like vision of Marvel. Oh, my God. Would you consider getting the ring embedded in your forehead or your skin somewhere?

55:33could we insert it into your BFTs? Oh my god, should I get my right BFT PS and just have it hanging off? Should I? Be a thick PS in that, wouldn't it? Be quite thick. Yeah, it was very bandy. Alright, man. Listen. Again, that machine at the fair, they didn't have loads of choice. Did I get too bad for it? Maybe there was that as well. Maybe there was a bit of that. It had been stretched to its back. no do you know what it is I just wanted a nicer not nicer again I'm taking the piss but I kind of agree if you'd got me a watch I'm not quite proud of us though if you'd got me a watch and it was like oh I got that watch for you and you've got to wear that watch every single day I'd be like I can't get it can I upgrade the watch you know life's moved on can I upgrade this watch is that alright yeah yeah I get it I do kind of get it thank you you've kept the wedding ring which is good but you picked the wedding ring I did pick the wedding ring again I take the piss but it is odd that there's a bit of jewelry that you're going to wear for the rest of your life and you don't even get to pick it.

56:36A man who, let's be honest, I couldn't pick you fucking clothes. No. Let alone a ring you're going to wear every day. You did it spontaneously, like, I didn't know you were going to propose, which was even better and it was more the gesture and back then I loved it but, you know, times have changed. And then it means that you can give that ring to one of our children when they want to propose and it can still keep you up. No? Oh. No? Not even good enough to give away. Fucking hell. See, guys, let that be a lesson to you. I'm totally joking. No, no, everyone out there, gentlemen, gentlemen, when buying an engagement ring, let it be a lesson to you.

57:11But what I said when I walked into that duelist and said, what's your cheapest ring? This is what happens. Yeah. No, I'm joking. It was gorgeous. But, you know, anyway. Brought me hot. Shut up. thank you so much for listening and watching this week's episode of shagged married annoyed we really do we really do thank you so so much as always if you want to get in touch at shaggedmarriedannoyed at gmail.com please continue to send us anything that's sparked your interest anything we've talked about stories you know questions actual questions help with dilemmas would be nice i feel like i really know a lot more in life than when we started seven years ago.

57:54If you want to send a voice note in, it is 07874406650. And we'll be back in your ears and you reprehensible little peepers next week. Bye. Bye. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same premium wireless for$15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upfront payment of$45 for three month plan equivalent to$15 per month required. Intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available.

58:35Taxes and fees extra. Default terms at mintmobile.com. I sold my car in Carvana last night. Well, that's cool. No, you don't understand. It went perfectly. Real offer down to the penny. They're picking it up tomorrow. Nothing went wrong. So what's the problem? That is the problem. Nothing in my life goes to smoothie. I'm waiting for the catch. Maybe there's no catch. That's exactly what a catch would want me to think. Wow, you need to relax. I need to knock on wood. Do we have wood? Is this table wood? I think it's laminate. Okay, yeah, that's good. That's close enough. Car selling without a catch.

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From the publisher

On this week's Shagged Married Annoyed Chris and Rosie Ramsey discuss remembering things the old school way, their musical tastes in the early noughties and what Chris would like for his 40th Birthday!

Rosie explains the drawbacks of BFT's and shares her ideas for a new Children's book. Chris has one last tour update which involves some shade from his tour manager and a town crier!

All of this plus a musical voice note and some QFTP's involving a a foreign object in an ear and less that romantic declaration of love.

If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice
notes included on the podcast then get in touch!

📧: shaggedmarriedannoyed@gmail.com

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YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed

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