Bumper Summer Best Of - Part Seven

24:15oh right so he managed to get me in a taxi and back to the room but the whole time I was screaming at him saying he was the saying he was evil and asking why he was trying to kidnap me my friend bracket there was no friend close brackets what was the taxi driver So either she was so pissed. No, no, so pissed that it was like, and it just wasn't making any sense at all. Or the taxi driver was a bit dodgy because he was like, well, a fair's a fair. So if she was coherently going, you are kidnapping me, what's going on? And the taxi driver's just like, hey, you had a good night, guys? Yeah, you never know.

25:03But if there's no friend, I mean, to be fair, it must have been pretty obvious that she was just pissed and being an idiot. Who knows? I was taking photos of him to show the police if I managed to escape. So she took photos of her boyfriend as evidence.

25:20At one point, I escaped onto the balcony and tried to climb over to the next room. Jesus. He had to pull me back in the room. I was absolutely terrified and genuinely thought he had kidnapped me. This went on for hours. Can I imagine? Oh, God. You know what it is, Rosie? If that was you, I'd open the door and I'd go, Dad, you know what? You've won. You've won. I was trying to kidnap you. Please go back to your family. Bye now. Well, it gets better. Eventually, I had locked myself in the bathroom and started to panic text a WhatsApp group full of uni friends back in the UK. I told them I needed help and that I was terrified and they should call the police.

26:03so eventually that's what they did no fucking way they phoned 999 and reported me as missing slash in distress slash whatever oh hello 999 hello i'd like to report someone as a missing slash in distress slash whatever etc etc etc an hour or so later my dad got woken up by a knock at the door from two local police officers informing him that they had been alerted to my situation and it was their number one priority and she's putting brackets here not a lot else goes on in my town brilliant to try and locate me and make sure i was safe wow they took my dad's phone and were trying to use google maps to locate the apartment we were staying in by a balcony picture i had sent earlier that day jesus they had called interpol is interpol or interpol uh interpol yeah they're uh international sort of britain's sort of overseas thing yeah i knew what it was.

26:58I just didn't know if it was in Nepal or Nepal. They're also a very good band. Carry on. Lovely. And had the Polish police on standby to go to said apartment if they could figure out where I was. Wow. Eventually, my boyfriend managed to coax me out of the bathroom and convince me he wasn't a kidnapping murderer and got me to calm down and eventually put me to bed. Jesus. This is unbelievable. I mean, how pissed is pissed? That's crazy. I know. I'm just so glad Sharon finally got in touch after the fingering debacle. of our holiday last year with her lad. So it took me a second to work out what you meant there.

27:35That was the woman who shouted at you from a few... Right, yeah, good. That was Sharon from last week. It took me a second to work out what that meant. Well done. In the morning, I woke up to my boyfriend on the phone to the police trying to explain this was all a misunderstanding and I was fine and was just a drunken arsehole. I had to go on the phone to the police and explain I had not been kidnapped and I was in no danger and they did not need to send any police or medical help. Wow. I'm not being funny though if you've been kidnapped that's terrible policing what if she was genuinely kidnapped and just on the phone going oh I'm okay please don't come put the fella on hey kidnapper do you promise you're not a kidnapper I do promise do you solemnly swear do you solemnly swear etc I do etc cross your heart hope to die etc etc oh pinky pinky promise that you are not a kidnapper and murderer all is fine here wow Yeah.

28:28I mean, talk about wasting police time. That's another level, that shit. I know. Good God. Yes, she was just very hungover and she's not drinking vodka again. Wow. I mean, Polish vodka? Can we just put up there? You can probably drink normal vodka again, but not... Is it strong, Polish vodka? Well, just the sentence for me, which was, it was cheaper to buy a bottle of Polish vodka and mixers than it was to buy two single vodkas, tells me it was probably the specific vodka she was drinking in that bar. It's not going to be very good. Well, it'll have been that, you know, when you can get a litre of it and it looks like the Smirnoff label, but it says like Reichenkopf or something.

29:06Oh, yeah. I know. One of them. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. A girl I used to hang around with at school, a comp, not like primary school. A comp, yeah. We all got drunk. Still illegal to drink, but carry on. Well, yeah, like 15. She got really drunk. Panic set in. I had to keep hold of her tongue. Right. So she didn't swallow her tongue for about 20 minutes. You kept hold of it. Well. Like a fucking ticketed a delicatessen. A little bit like that. She just found an old black tongue. No, because she was being sick. And my mum was a nurse, wasn't she? So I was like, she can't swallow her tongue. So I kept a hold of her tongue after she was sick.

29:40Two hands. Just one hand. Finger and thumb. Yes. Jesus Christ. Like, gripped it. While she was being sick? Well, because her head was like all over the place. Oh, she was lying on her back. So my other friend had, no, she was sat on a wall. So my other friend had the back of her head. This is the classiest story. And I had a hold of a tongue. Sorry, can I just say, my friend got drunk, not primary, comp, still illegal. A drink, drinking, scummy, cheap vodka, being sick. I held a tongue while being sick. It's probably sick all over your hand. It was already a scummy story. It then took an unexpected nosedive when the phrase sat on a wall came out of your mouth.

30:20The bottom of my friend's truth. It was. Sat on a wall. I was actually not that drunk because I didn't like, I've never liked spirits. So I used to drink, I used to drink like Reef and you know, the little bottles. And we got, we used to get them from the off license where my friend, only one person could get served at this off license, right? Because I had fake ID. And the drinks were out of date. So I don't actually think they had any alcohol in them. Fantastic. So I was never, I was never that drunk, but she was drinking vodka. And so she was really drunk. And so my friend had her head while she was on the walk because she was just all over the place.

30:51And I was just worried she was going to swallow her tongue. So I held onto her tongue. Christ alive I mean well done for holding on the tongue until her mum come pick it up disgusted until her mum came and took her with her tongue holding duties yeah she's still alive so that's good you're welcome yeah she's still alive and her tongue's just a half a centimetre longer these days like a really hot dog just hangs out to the side but she's never drunk vodka Jesus

31:24do you not remember like how fun though pylons were when you were younger what are they called so a pylon when we yeah like a free house when we were younger when we were like 15 16 and you couldn't you couldn't really go out to pubs and that because we didn't get in people used to have pylons when the parents were away yeah but what did what's kevin bridges called an empty an empty that's Scottish isn't it so I loved a pile in me they were absolutely mint yeah you didn't go to any did you we had such a different childhood didn't have that many friends oh babe barely full of living room piling more of a sitting when I was really young whenever I really had like pilings and stuff I remember once I was at a house where there was that many people like 40 odd maybe more and like it was this girl's house and I sort of knew her through friend of a friend and I think that kind of happened so there was lots of different groups of people there there was like goth kids there chav kids there normal kids indie kids all these different people and uh they smashed our toilet like someone did like the actual bowl of the toilet smashed like craziness gosh um i remember she was like hysterical and she kicked everyone out but that was the time i was standing i used i talked about this in my stand-up years ago but you wouldn't have heard this so i was standing and there was this like chav like a local kind of like hard chav kind of guy and he had picture this right in his left hand he had a can of fosters that had just the dregs of the fosters in just the dregs yeah right in his right hand he had a can of fosters holding it in his little finger his ring finger his middle finger and his thumb right well sorry his little finger his ring finger and his thumb so then his forefinger and his middle finger were up in the air with a joint in those fingers so right hand has can for drinking and joint for smoking in yeah left hand has half full can with some dregs to put ash to from the joint yeah he was standing talking to her and he was really pissed and he was telling a story and he was we were like just listening because he was just like a local hard lunatic and halfway through telling the story he got mixed up and took a huge huge swig from the end like to the point of where he's like had like a black lines at the corner of his mouth off the stuff and we all like fell silent and we're like looked at each other and then looked at him and he went what and he was like styling it out you can tell you look it's gonna be sick he went what and I was like you've just drank a tab you've just drank from the wrong can and he looked his square in the eyes and he went Ash gets you more pissed oh I hate him oh good and we went alright yeah yes it does yeah of course it does jeez Louise that's all I've never heard that story before I forgot about that Carl Hutchinson says that it was now and then Ash gets you more pissed just now and then whenever he's about to drink a can you go Ash gets him all pissed and he reminds us of the story because he was standing with us when it happened I love that we were once at a piling and I think whoever had gone to the shops well it used to be Stephen Stephen I'll name him Stephen Cain used to go to the the off license at the top of the street and he used to get served nobody else got served except him was he underage?

34:42yeah all massively but he had right stop the podcast right lads Rosie this whole thing's been a ruse your name's not even Chris this whole thing's been a sting operation what? we knew it was Stephen Cain who was doing, right. We've got him, fellas. Stop this shit. Listen, I'm sort of related to him, so don't. I've got to be honest with you, lads. I do have a tour that I'm supposed to go on with this woman in September. I'm going to do with the money. Imagine. But anyway, he was the only person who could get served. I think it's just because he was really, really tall. Yeah, yeah. And I think while they were at the shops one time, they'd pissed off a local group of youths from the hill.

35:19and they followed them back to the house party and the local group of youths proceeded to spit through the letterbox. Fantastic, that's good. And if you're wondering where coronavirus started, it was actually there. Filthy dirty spit through the letterbox. Oh, hey. Oh, honestly. Fun, fun and games. Dead, dead exciting though at the time. You know, when you're like, oh my God, what's going to happen? Just, you know, good fun. options for the next question wonderful sex crisps or nails

35:58nails okay just because we've got previous right dear Rosie and Chris like so many of your followers I've been meaning to write in for a while but now that we're living in a dick storm with only toilet paper and Tiger Kings for comfort I felt it was time to email in Dick Storm's great I do like a Dick Storm Sounds like a weatherman It sounds like a porn name you'd give a weatherman Coming from the west we have the Dick Storm Dick Storm Of the century Hi I'm Dick Storm Oh like a porn name Yeah that's what I mean Oh Dick that's good What would be your porn name Oh I don't know You've got to do that stupid thing Where you've got to pick your first pet's name But my first pet was a hamster called Henrietta So I always sound weird That would be a bit sad I think it's the name of the first place you lived and your pet's first name, so mine would be Henrietta Mitchell.

36:48Well, that's not true. I would have that. Yeah? I have listened to your podcast since the beginning, and as weird and creepy as it sounds, you and Chris often remind me of me and my husband. Bollocks. We are original. You're full of it. Don't be nasty. Now, I have so many things I could tell you about. The time I met my mother-in-law, and she asked me whether I, quote, practice anal sex. don't you dare tell me she's just written that as a little thing yeah no no i'm setting the tone for this email this email is grim as so she's not going into detail about that no she's just said yeah the time my husband woke me up in the night to come and see the unusual log shape of his midnight poo yes he poos in the night

37:35Oh, that's ridiculous. How he used to hide pepperoni under my pillow when we first started dating so he could snack in the night whilst I was sleeping. All the time I was so annoyed at him during an argument and he was being such a see you next Tuesday. Oh God, this is grim. Right. That I pulled out my... Pubes? Tampon. that had been in for at least five hours and threw it at him. No way. There is no way that's... Nah. Chris, this isn't even the beginning. Who is this person? We need to report this person. Do you know what's awful? I wasn't going to read that out, but I forgot to delete it. So she...

38:18So we are getting a story that is none of these things that she's just glossed over. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Are you ready? No, I'm not ready. I need to discuss the last bit. So we'll once have an argument and she was so angry at him, she pulled out a tampon and threw at him. That's the worst thing I have ever heard. That is chemical warfare. Yeah, Chris, it depends what you see is worse, but the big bulk, if you'd let me carry on, I will get to the big bulk of the story. I'm sorry, I couldn't have the listeners thinking, oh, he just accepted that. Well, he got his revenge. Now, I know by this point, Chris is probably saying we deserve to be in prison and we're minging.

38:58and... Chop the words right out of my mouth. We are. And many of our friends often quote that we are so perfect for each other because we are equally disgusting. However, I think he is worse than me and here is why. Bear in mind, this is the woman who threw our tambour on us. Oh, this is going to have to be good. Like, I am honestly, I'm picking yourselves for you right now in prison. Time to bring back Nail Stories to the podcast. Guess who's back? Back again. Nailie's back. tell her friend this just wrote this so that was still here are you ready no my husband used to play semi-professional rugby when he was younger as a result his feet are a disaster and can I just say as a caveat rugby players are disgusted and they drink each other's piss and all that they love a bit of that they're not bothered about bodily functions this is good just wanted that's not all rugby players by the way I'm scared now it is you're minging all you his toes have been broken so many times that his nails actually grow sideways and are so thick thick that nail clippers just bounce off.

40:00Over the years, he decided the only way around this is to cut his toenails with a kitchen knife. Not on your life, mate. The first time I saw him do it, I lost my shit. Can I just say, it's like he lives in opposite land from my mate who cuts a pizza with scissors.

40:22Bless him. Okay. First time I saw him do it, I lost my shit. But there is more. I soon discovered that he liked to keep his toenails in a small collection in his drawer, as he sometimes would like to pull them out and use them to scratch his teeth. Scratch his teeth! But that's what the toenail murderer used to do. Chris, you can't remember the toenail murderer, can you? Yeah, yeah, the guy on the tube. Yeah, yeah, I do remember that. Use it as a flossing device. Yeah, but why she said scratch his teeth? How can you scratch your teeth? I'm guessing by the sounds of them picking these plaques off his teeth.

41:01Oh my gosh, so he scrapes them against his teeth. This is... If you're cutting your toenails with a kitchen knife, you're not brushing your teeth. I'm actually, I don't know if you'll be able to hear it slightly on the podcast, but I'm like vigorously moving my arms like a little bird trying to flap. But can we just take a second to visually, how the fuck do you cut your toenails with a kitchen knife? How is that possible? I don't know, but they must be that bad that he's having to soar through them. Oh, God. Are you ready? No. I told him, quite rightly, that this was feral and he should throw them away.

41:34But he genuinely got annoyed at me and so, in the spirit of compromise, I let it go. I was playing the long game. Some people just... Fast forward in our relationship, we're engaged.

41:55I proposed by the way she proposed oh god love have some self respect fuck me

42:06I'm sure there's a lot of men out there who would love you to throw your used hammer on at them honestly I mean we've talked about this before the people who just stay with people so thick and thin but there's a level so I proposed just after he'd cut his nails I thought oh that is the man that I want to be with for the rest of my life okay we're lying in bed one night I'm drifting off and I feel a scratch on my cheek I swat it away not really thinking about it as I'm cosy and drifting off but it comes back eventually I roll over and find my fiance pissing his pants laughing having pulled out the biggest brownest old toenail and was scratching my face with it.

42:51That is unacceptable. I don't need to tell you my reaction. Yeah. She was raging, I'm guessing. Unfortunately, this soon became a regular game of Nailie. Nailie? Which was very much a one-player game that he reveled playing and I hated. however much we beefed about it the nail would always reappear at some point during a night time and wake me up with scratching no way man fast forward to our wedding i'm giving a speech because f the patriarchy yes the time is ripe for revenge i proceed to tell over 100 of our closest friends and family about the game of naily and how it has haunted me during our relationship needless to say despite them all knowing many gross stories from him over the years and there was a lot of them no one could quite believe that he would do this all those times I had been scratched by a monstrosity of a nail became worth it when I saw his mum give him the stay of disappointment that only mums can do and he had to hang his head in shame in front of everybody we've been married almost two years now and thankfully all nails now go in the bin I gave him a set of super industrial nail clippers brilliant However, I immortalised Neely for him.

44:13Now, you can't see this, listener, but she has sent a picture. Oh, for f - No, I can't. In their house, there is a photo frame. I can't look. I don't even want to turn my head. The nail is framed and it says underneath, Neely. I haven't turned my head yet. Have a look. I'm still looking at you in the eyes. Look at that big nail in the photo frame. Oh, my God. In their house. Oh, my God. That is massive. that is madness that's disgusting that's in their house you're going to have to put that on Insta now like people who listen to this oh it's in their bedroom shut up this now hangs up in our bedroom we have had an email here from the twits these people are the twits these are the grossest people where's the email address I'm reporting them to someone oh gosh horrendous and can I just say he should have stood up and said yeah well she once threw a tampon at us I would have done that in the wedding I'd have said she once pulled out like a hand grenade what do you think's worse?

45:13the tampon thing by a mile I do as well but that's the both disgusting they're both utterly disgusting where did that tampon land? where did it land? don't know did it hit him? did it go on the floor? who cleaned it up? hope it hit the wall splat everywhere you deserve each other but you both deserve to live in the sea yeah animals hey they're well matched yeah and the sea would actually if they lived in the sea it would soften his toenails right up. They'd come straight off, probably with a butter knife. Hey, well, there you go. I would suggest for that, maybe he's just having a really hot bath before you.

45:43I always cut my nails after a bath. I doubt these bathe. Yeah, I doubt they've got a bath. It's probably, to be fair, it's probably filled with used tampons like that woman off the week before. Whenever she's going to throw one, I just stand in front of the bath and it lands in there. Horrors. Oh. Hear that? That's now Crispy and McCrispy Strips meeting creamy Caesar sauce. Sounds extra crispy. Caesar sauce at McDonald's for a limited time. Hey friends, Olivia from Ollie. Between new routines and the ultimate group project known as parenting, you need science-backed solutions that work with your life.

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46:59And the super athletic-ish stuff, like fishing gear for chilling by the creek. Nice cast. Fitness apparel to push for higher reps. You got this. And golf balls priced so you can afford to lose one. Or a few. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it. Can I just say, I've got one of the most fucking disgusting stories I think we've ever been sent. How are we then? I think that people need a bit of vile right now. Like, I think... Okay. No, but you know what it is. If you are 56 episodes deep into this podcast, right?

47:39Deep. Yeah, exactly. That's what she said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know the context of this podcast and you know that you can go about your daily life and be a civilized person and yet still listen to absolute filth. Like we do. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, some of it's filth. They're not all filth. I mean, we've just been talking about, you know, supermarkets and stuff. Yeah. But this one blew my mind. Come on. Okay. Weirdly, the email starts with a kind of version of what you and me have just said, to be fair. It starts with, here's what we all listen to the podcast for, the filth.

48:14It's a long story, but well worth it. Please keep this anonymous. Okay. I'm in. The backstory. Ooh. Me and my female friend, brackets G, have a really close relationship. we chat all day and night over calls and texts talk about everything general day-to-day stuff issues and the casual sex partners that we have and the events that take place on said occasions me and g also like to meet up once a month or so for a physical catch-up hot sweaty crazy sex we know that we both like it we know it's always going to be good and it's an itch that needs scratching and no fear of emotions getting involved.

48:55So like a fuck buddy. He's got a fuck buddy, but it seems like they have quite a personal connection as well because they talk quite a lot. All right. Don't know why they don't just get together. I just want backstories. I want to know how old they are. I want to know. Look, look, look, look. After you hear what you're about to hear, you're not going to care too much about that anymore because they are both depraved, disgusting, perverted animals. No fear of emotions getting involved. Anyway, all normal here until one day, G contacts me and says, I have a sexual request for you. She says she will be honest.

49:28It's low-key prostitution. I reply as always, go on, I'm listening. She got speaking to a guy who she met on Tinder. They went through the whole getting to know the basics of each other when she explained that she doesn't drive yet. Push forward to a few days later, where he uses this information as a bargaining chip. He has asked her for a sexual favour, and in return, he will buy her a crash course driving lesson. Prostitution. Well, as you said, it's low-key prostitution, right? So a crash course is that sort of week-intensive... Yeah, or the couple-week-intensive thing. I think it's four weeks and you have to drive it.

50:04It might have changed since I did mine. Anyway, obviously, it depends on what the sexual favour is. I reply, well, go on then. What's the favour? How can I help? Now, just as a public service announcement to you, Rosie, and to everyone listening, this is horrific. Oh, my gosh. It's minging. Can we see it? Yeah, we're going to see it. We're going to see it, but it's horrible. And I'm warning you all now, it's horrible. So this is what the person has asked. So this guy, yeah, sorry to interrupt you, Nate. This guy who she is with, who she is sort of tindering with, wants her and her fuck buddy friend who's writing the email to do some kind of sexual favor and then he's going to buy a crash course.

50:51A crash course driving lesson. This is awful. We do not condone prostitution on Shagmory Denoid, but I am going to tell you what it is and it's the worst. I'm on the edge of my seat here. She replied, he said he wants to suck cum out of my vagina. He wants to slurp and swallow fresh cum straight out of my vagina. I was like, okay, strange, but again, where do I come into this? No pun intended. Then she replies, he doesn't want it to be his. Right. Let's settle for a second there. You share a planet with these people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. Well, listen. Learning to drive is very important.

51:39Important skill. and it's quite expensive.

51:47I was like, okay, okay, a threesome. I've never had one. I mean, I'm interested in you are. Not quite the perfect threesome, it being two boys and one girl. But okay, if you want, I'll do my good deed for the day. Nope, that wasn't the deal. He wanted to wait outside, wait for us to finish, then enter for his, and he used a great word here, feast.

52:13No, no, no, he's going to bite your vagina off. He's going to kill you. He's going to wrap you up. Forget the coronavirus. You are getting murdered by the cum slurping grizzly little feisty bear that's going to come to your house. Don't do it. Don't do it. How did she do it? Oh, my God. Is there more? I was like, listen. This is horrible. It's the worst, isn't it? I feel all dirty and tingly and not in a nice sexual way and in like a disgusting, horrible, I just want to cuddle everyone. This is honestly, again, listeners, I'm so sorry. This is the worst. It's easily the worst story we've ever had.

52:51Why is she still replying? Why didn't she ring the police? Well, I think they weren't replying anymore. I think they kind of, they must have met up a couple of times or something. I don't know. She must know him, know him. Oh, my God. Okay. I was like, well, I mean, this is where he proves himself to be the worst man on earth as well. Because he wrote, I was like, well, I mean, I still have my fun. So if you're okay with it, let's play a bird. What? I mean, what are friends for? Not fucking this, mate. Not for this. Anyway, the day was here. I'd done my part of the deal. It's happened. It's happening.

53:28Listen to this. This is honestly horrendous, right? I'd done my part of the deal. Chris, I can't. but she had to sit in that weird on-your-back-but-legs-up-in-the-air, hands-under-the-bum-hip position, brackets, you know the one you used to do bored in a kidder's bed, to keep all my... And this is the worst word. No, no, no, no. To keep all my deposits secure. No, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah. Realistically, the only strange part for me was leaving the building in a kind of rush so she wasn't upside down for too long, then going out of the front door where he was waiting patiently to be let in. Oh, no, Grace!

54:00But even through all this, we both still did the polite male stranger nod as we passed each other. He's going to drink. He's going to drink his semen out of her vagina. So he had to finish. Get up quickly. She had to basically do a headstand. He finished. Got up, put his pants, and ran down outside and opened the door and let this pervert in. All three of you are perverts, by the way. I don't. He's wrote here. Anyway, Henry Hoover got exactly what he wanted. Don't bring Henry the Hoover into this disgusting story. Don't you dare. Sorry the good name of Henry Hoover. Don't do. She got she wanted and I got what I wanted.

54:36Overall, everyone left happy. Hope you enjoy. Obvious, this goes without saying. This is anonymous. Thanks, but he has signed it. The depositor. Oh, yeah.

54:50Sorry. I'm sorry about that. Can it? I feel a bit ill. I know his name. I've got his email address. Have you? Yeah. I might send this to the police. This is honestly, very funny. That's not funny at all. I don't think it's funny. I find it hilarious. I'm worried. I'm not going to sleep worrying about her. What's she doing? What's she doing? Tell you what she's doing. She's bloody speeding down the motorway, open top car, sunglasses on, hand out, singing, Frank Sinatra, did it my way. She's on the highway. She's living her life. Do you know what she is? She's bloody free. That's what she is. I bet you failed.

55:27I hope she fucking passed. I now imagine. oh gosh oh that is so grim so we've got some bad news you've got 12 minors and a major so you have failed no you've also liddled with chlamydia and all the gonorrhoids we've had to burn the seat you are doing your test on oh if you are listening to this and you are currently on tinder and people like that are getting in touch with you listen to your ma don't do it yeah don't guys please I'm your ma don't do it don't do it I mean it's all very good and well listening to it and as a grown adult we can find the fun in it and the disgustedness in it but please do not put yourself in that situation because I will I will not sleep I'm not going to sleep now Rosie's worried about all of you she's worried about all of you what's going on?

56:11why is this a thing? why is this a thing? this is horrible people need to stop they need to put turn the telly off right? read a nice book this is horrible this what's happening with the world? I'm sorry why is this a thing? I think it's time to employ my favourite catchphrase what's wrong with everyone? What's wrong with yous? So there we go. What's wrong with everyone?

56:36And that's it. That was the final Bumper Summer Best Of of Summer 2025. We really hope you've had the time to enjoy and listen to all them. We hope you still enjoy and listen to the podcast every single week as well. Don't we, Rosie? Yes, we do. I'm sorry. I feel like I totally over-tucked that. Yeah, I mean, I've got nothing else to say. You've said everything. Yeah, honestly, I've just listened to that back. You spoke loads of them. That we've just done. Did I? Dinner now. Never shut up. I didn't listen, but yeah. From me, thank you so much for listening. Yes, thank you. We've had a wonderful summer.

57:05Kids are back at school, so fucking come on! No, the nights are going to get dark, and that's when the real depression sets in. Yeah, I'm not looking forward to winter. It's going to be dark at four o 'clock in the afternoon. Oh, fuck. I know. But actually, do you know the only thing I like about winter? Mm-hmm. It makes soft plays more bearable. Right. Yeah, and fuller, and colder, and more germs. Oh, God. Oh, God. All right, bye, everyone. Bye.

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