Father's Day, Party Bags and Chris has a Full Medical

24:52I need to stop watching documentaries because I'm going mad and I don't think anybody else gives a shit. There was a young lad on a scrambling bike with a stupid mask on. It was a scrambler, I think. Yeah, like a dirt road. On a dirt bike, right? Yeah, they might not call it. I'm just saying because I don't know if they call it scramblers all over the country. I think that's just what we call them. Oh, right, okay. He's going to scramble. He's going to scramble. he had a horrible like Halloween mask on really freaky really like you thought he was going to come down and murder everyone I thought he was going to start I thought there was going to be a shooting right I also thought he was going to come down and murder everyone so I kept an eye on him I did not stop looking at him congratulations we were at separate ends so you were watching you were watching Rafe and I was watching Robin we've never spoke about this so we were at separate ends of the thing and I watched him and I watched more and he stopped on the hill at the other side and he just stood and he kept watching and I was like he's going to come in here and start garnering I thought he was going to shoot anyway I literally was like right I'll get Robin I was like he's near Rafe he'll get Rafe yeah all the other parents didn't bat an eyelid yeah no one bat an eyelid what's wrong with us nobody I was like I was like why one why is nobody watching this nutter two why aren't you all sorry who turned out not to be a nutter can we just say absolutely not yeah but he got his phone out for a bit and I was like who's he bringing right he's with that nutter mate they're surrounding him anyway nobody was watching nobody seemed to be making any sort of plan to get their children whereas I was very much ready to run yeah for away from a man on a motorbike with a potential gun well wouldn't have had much chance I'll be honest with you no absolutely not but I thought well at least I'll try and even in my head I went well and if I can save some of that kids in the time as well what's wrong I'm so glad that you noticed because I thought I was going mad I knew exactly I knew you were going to say that straight away but nobody did anything nobody was bothered no one seemed to be cared that's just the crack of me I wish I lived that life but that's the thing as well though that's why they say listening to loads of murder podcasts and watching loads of murder documentaries is a red flag.

26:43Because yes, it makes you vigilant in some cases, but it also makes you a fucking lunatic. No, it also ruins your life a bit. Yeah, but I can imagine some people take it even further than that. Literally like, you know, they'll phone their partner and they don't answer once and they'll phone the police and they're like, I think he's been murdered. And you're like, sorry, he was just having a shit. He hasn't phoned you back. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I'm not that bad. But I mean, I think you've got to be on alert if there's like a, with the daft stupid mask, at a kid's sports day. But it was...

27:11Not on my watch. It was in an area where that happens a lot. There's a lot of scrambler bike mayhem goes on around there. Fair enough. And then the police were flying around for ages after that. Did you see that? I didn't. Oh, so there you go. He must have killed everyone at the other sports day on the other side of the hill. Thank God. It's time for What's Your Beef? What is your beef? Beef, beef, beef, beef, beef, beef. Right, I'm going to go first because your beef cannot be anywhere near as big as my beef. Okay? What have I done? I'll tell you right now. Wake up. Probably half seven. Was it half seven?

27:46No. Was it half eight? No. Was it half nine? No. Was it half ten? No. Was it half eleven? No. Was it midday? It was midday. It was midday on Sunday before you, all those two little shits that we live with, told me Happy Father's Day. Well, listen. I was texting my mates. You're not my dad. I was texting my mates saying, has anyone else been completely ignored yet? And the lads were like, what? And I was like, no one. I was like, there's no card. There's no presence. No one's even glanced. It just flashed as a nice smile. And I was sitting with him. At one point, I was sitting with him. I was texting my mates going, no one's fucking said anything.

28:31Like, no one's said anything. To the point where I was like, is there a massive surprise coming? Is a fucking new car going to pull up on the drive? is a helicopter going to land and drop us something Robin and Rafe just wanted their breakfast then I took Robin to his scooting lesson and they came back and they just fucking demanded stuff all day and Tretta's like shit as usual you were hung over I was hung over but that sorry okay okay it was to the point where I thought if it gets past midday is it like April Fool where it's just like oh we don't do it anymore can I for a minute just I don't want to throw him under the bus but but you're about to blame all my children well I'm sorry right I got in I was I'd had the Jane Eyre show which went very well by the way thank you very much thank you everyone who came and then we always go out on the drink after and I got in at 3 o 'clock in the morning brilliant I had a lovely time no actually it might not have been that late actually I think it was about half one it wasn't crazy anyway I went into my ensuite bathroom in my dressing room because I'm a spoiled brat and there was but this is the wild life that we live Robin had chose that room to wrap the presents Yeah.

29:35Don't know why. Because he knows I won't go in there because it's a pigsty. Great. So anyway, I got in there. He hadn't wrapped one of your presents. So drunk, I wrapped the last present. With parcel tape. With parcel tape. We didn't have any salad tape. So it's brown parcel tape. But I thought, naively, I thought, right, he's 10 now. He loves stuff. He loves birthdays and all that. He loves giving people stuff. He loves giving people gifts. So I thought, right, well, he will come and get these in the morning and give them to you. so in my defense i thought right this is the first year where i don't really have to do it and i thought that would have all happened and then i had me coffee and everything and then i went in the bathroom and i was like oh these have not been given out so then i got the kids i rallied the kids rave got his card that he'd made you from school out of his bag which was lovely and you cried at the presents uh i didn't just cry i was nearly hysterical it was that much of a nice present it was so lovely it's a little uh key ring and it says dad on it and you open it up it's like a little letter pouch and you open it up and then it is like multiple photos of the kids and it was just so sweet and so lovely and it was worth the almost midday sorry well i'm sorry morning of morning of why do i fucking bother around here but but in my defense you're not my dad yeah so i think there has to be some responsibility as far as we know as far as we know you're not Sorry about that.

31:02Genuinely sorry. Like I thought when I'd seen them on the floor, I thought, well, Robbins. It got to the point where I was just like, this is really funny. I was like, how long could it go? Cards on the table. I was quite disappointed when I saw them coming up with the presents because I was like, oh, fuck. You wanted the full team. Like imagine it was bedtime. Could you fucking imagine how classed out of me? It was like night, night. Oh, wait. Well, I think as well, we don't make a big thing of these things. I genuinely wasn't asked. It was just a funny, it was just funny but yeah sorry sorry genuinely sorry it's alright thank you for the wonderful presents well I've bought them all and I thought Robin wrapped them so I thought he'll remember in the morning but clearly can we just go over what I got so I got me I got me little my little thing yeah I got a just for men comb yes for combing the little gray bits out my beard oh did you see Joel Domet's video recently no no I seen him he did a video of getting ready to go to ask ask it ask it he dyes his beard you should maybe text him we how are we what We've already, me and Joel have already had this discussion.

32:01Great, okay then, there you go. I'll read you the WhatsApp now. Ask him what die gets, he's a very similar guy. I know exactly what die gets, but he orders it from America, and I don't like ordering stuff from America, as it makes us worried. He orders his die from America? Yeah, it's from America. And I don't know what colour I'd be or anything, I don't know. In a perfect world, I want him to just go, here's the one that's half finished, do you want to try that one? And I'd go, yeah, definitely. But he hasn't yet, how's Elvis? Hasn't, I don't fucking know. How's Elvis, Joel? Do you think he's the nice guy at telly?

32:24Fucking joking on you. No, so yeah. And I saw Ben Shepard the other day and I told him, I said, you both need to do a beard thing because Joel's well into all that because they're doing their skin thing. Anyway, and I got... Why don't you do something? What the fuck? I'm not doing anything. Do you know how it is? The lack of entrepreneurial brain in your head really upsets me. No, I just got asked someone to do it. You could start a bloody dive for beards. Aye, all right. Aye, aye. You've got a following. Hey, everyone. You over the fucking hill here? Nah, I'm married. I just... I can't be bothered.

32:52I'm busy, man. I'm busy. So, what else did I get? Oh, I got a lovely pair of pajamas that you immediately said, don't ever wear them out of the house. They fully give us the ick, but I'm really happy that you like them. So... They're horrible! I really like them. Like, I really like them. I went and got a shower. I talked about getting clean. I went and got a shower specifically. I didn't really need one, but I was like, I'm putting my new pajamas on. So I got a shower. I put them on. They came in a plastic packet, so no one had tried them on in the shop. Yeah, yeah, I got them online. So nice.

33:24So for everyone listening, they're Chelsea Piers. Chelsea Piers is a really well-known brand. They're like the best Jarmies in the land. They're so soft. I know. But they're like the fasten at the front. But they're navy blue shorts. Navy blue shorts. And then a short-sleeved navy blue with white trim, like a bowling shirt. You look like Santa in the winter. No, but they're fine for the house. Don't wear them out of the house. Because they're very icky. They are proper icky. Like, you look like a little boy. But it's fine. But I've got the long leg one. We're matching. but I don't have the shorts I've got the legs can you imagine a world where someone gives you a present there's your present don't wait in front of us it's disgusting no you wait in front of me I don't mind but not anyone else like I'd be embarrassed like if my mum's around don't put my mum on fucking hell man fucking booby trapped present no I do you know I thought I knew you would love them anyway I love them I've got a beef with you go on then you love them pajamas um so for the minute and i don't know it's just really upsetting you just keep disappearing and going and chipping your golf ball in the garage in the garden yeah but you do it like we're having a conversation and you just leave and i'm like and i'll go to the kids i go where's where's dad like where's he gone they're like and i just see you in the garden just chipping this golf ball around but you just you just keep disappearing because it's like it's just when the golf ball calls the golf ball calls i just need to leave i just need to leave and i've been chipping not mid you did it mid conversation in the day we're still having a conversation i'm building up i'm building up to being able to chip it over the house i'm gonna go front garden to back garden like that blow like bryson de chambeau yeah please don't do that what about the windows well well i was watering the plants the other day last night and you and rob were both doing it and I was like, Kenya's not.

35:18You're going to kill us. Hey, hey, hey. I can control it. He can't. He tops it and scores it right across the lawn. He braided the fence. I thought he put a hole in it. Can we just, can you? Oh, so it's all right. Oh, sorry. So it's all right for him, right? Because I shouted out the idea for this and you told me off. It's all right for him to pick up gravel and fucking smash it with a tennis racket. God knows where. But I can't practice me short range chipping me around the green short game in my very own garden. You can. It's just when you just disappear and do it though. maybe you're going on a bit have you ever thought of that maybe you're just bagging on a bit and I'm done maybe I'm finished with the conversation eh oh he's gonna regret that he said it so confidently but he's gonna you're gonna live to regret that I'm gonna go and put my short jammers on why is this top too small for me tits babadoo babadoo babadoo who cares about your poops Ollie does.

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37:29Get it with any item on the Cantina Chicken Menu while it's here. The participating U.S. Taco Bell locations for a limited time only. While supplies last, contact store for availability. it's time for questions from the public in the sunshine questions from the public in the sunshine sunshine get me back in the sunshine uh she's very excited because it's sunny outside as always if you'd like to get in touch it is shagged marriedannoyed gmail.com if you would like to send a long form written correspondence but if you would like to send a cheeky little voice note. It is 07874 406650. That is 07874 406650.

38:09Thank you and good night. Before we continue, I've got a very important question. Would you like to share a bottle of Pinot Grigio with me tonight? Yes. Yeah! Is that it? Yeah. Could have asked that off the pod, but happy days. No, listen. There it is. Everything that happens here. Fantastic. And I'm playing golf tomorrow. What a great 12 hours I've got ahead of me. And I'm sleeping. I'm having some sleep as well. Sleep's good. Come on. Sometimes you've just got to... What would you like? Pizza. Ugh. In the sun? Yeah. Should I have a barbecue? No. Pain in the arse. Awful. Barbecues are the worst.

38:45I hate barbecues. Don't get us started. I'm sure they've been my sponsor on here before. Fucking waste of time. Our kids won't eat anything off them. No. Rafe has a fucking bun. Awful. Absolutely awful. Robin likes a barbecue. Robin likes a burger. Do you want to stand outside cooking and stink of smoke and be greasy as fuck and then eat this and be maybe ill? Yeah, let's do it, right? God. Hi, Rosie and Chris. Sorry, can I just say I'm very aware that I'm in the minority with barbecue. Everyone loves a barbecue. I love a barbecue. I'm all right. Genuinely, right? And this, I'm going to really upset a lot of people here.

39:17Honestly, I'd rather have a sandwich. I'd rather sit and have a sandwich and a beer or a pizza and a beer. Don't bother with a barbecue. It doesn't, don't do it. It does nothing for us. This is utter bullshit. It doesn't do anything to us. Absolute bullshit. Whenever I've done the barbecue and you've ate, you've gone, that was absolutely gorgeous. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. But then when you look at it as a whole. Nobody's asking you to do it. Okay, I know I've got to get it out the shed. No, I'll buy a little portable one because you're that shit that we don't even use with barbecue. No, that's fine.

39:44That's exactly the outcome I was after. So you would eat it if I just did it the night? I've got pizza. Put pizza in the oven. Oh, that pizza oven that I never use. Do that. You're a fucking friend. I love sandwiches though, so. Anyway. Prefer a flan. Hi, Rosie and Chris. I was joking by the way. Just a nice little anecdote. Yes. About you today. This morning, I was having my breakfast, sat on the sofa, when my partner walked in, holding the box of tinfoil, and said, isn't it amazing? We've had the same tinfoil the whole time we've lived here. And in brackets it says, we have lived here for four years.

40:26by the way. I then had to explain to him that I've been buying refill rolls and just putting it in the same box. That's great. What a shame. Oh, I love him. That's fantastic. Dude, man, don't give them an open goal like that, dude. You can't. Because that is a little, it's an entry-level drug to, yeah, no, didn't even notice I did that. You don't notice anything I do around here, right? I'm going to stop doing this. I'm going to stop doing that. Mate, come on. That's funny. I kind of wish I'd went along with it now and let him think it was everlasting tinfoil. Oh, they never ended tinfoil. Do you know what?

41:03Tinfoil, right? Tinfoil cling film and bacon, what's it called? Paper. The bacon sheet paper. Grease-boot paper. You don't realise how important it is until it runs out. Don't you not? You don't, though. Yeah, I know what you mean. The other day, Kitchen rolls are same. I was, it was tinfoil. Everything on a roll. in the kitchen is invaluable. I'm telling you right now. I swear to God, honestly, like I don't, I just think we'd take it for granted. Because if you run out of certain things, like if you run out of shower gel, you go, oh, I've got a rogue bar of soap somewhere or I'll wash my pits with this shampoo or hand wash.

41:38There's loads of other alternatives, right? Yeah. If you run out of cling film, what are you using? If you run out of tin file? So cling film, well, we've also got them little bags that we reuse. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair enough. All right. I put the bagels in the same one forever. Do you know what it was? It was greaseproof paper the other day. I needed it for something, and I'd run out of it, and I didn't have tinfoil you then. I went, well, I'm fine. I'm saying stuff on a roll. No, you're right, there was stuff on a roll. Invaluable if you need it. Tinfoil. You try doing a chicken without putting that tinfoil over the top.

42:07It was chicken? Yeah, yeah. Dry as a stick. Do you remember? Yeah, it was horrible. Kitchen roll as well. You ever tried doing a full English without some kitchen roll? No, you're mental with kitchen roll, though. I used to be. I'm a lot better now yeah well I'm a lot better now I'm sure I slagged you off the other week you will not let Rafe wipe his little mouth on that tea towel yeah because then I'm going to make food and this this what the this toothpaste on the tea towel what's going on I'm making food with that the toothpaste comes miles after that I can't have that I can't have toothpaste touching my food I'll let him every day so whatever I don't let him hold on what was I going to say I was going to say something I was going to say something meant about tin file I forgot

42:48oh that uh that 20 minutes you've got from that edward show you did about tinfoil i could do it full i could i could do it 20 minutes about tinfoil don't eat it oh yeah i still can't i still can't use cling film i still can't do it oh that's what i was gonna say me nana yeah well my nana's the other day she's got this thing on our wall and it's like got the tinfoil in it. Yeah. So she made some banana bread and she was like, do you want some? And I was like, fucking right, I want some. And she like pulled the tinfoil. It's on our wall. She pulled it, thingied it across. And I was like, this is amazing.

43:24I wouldn't put it on me wall. One, we don't live that life. Two, you'd say, I don't want that on me wall. Three, we'd come in one day. You'd come in, you'd open the front door and there'd be some tinfoil on the floor in front of you. And that line of tinfoil would lead from your feet at the front door all the way down the corridor into the kitchen and Rafe would have pulled all of the fucking tinfoil off. It's not something we can do. Hate them. Forget it right now. Do you know what they keep doing? Hmm? And I know I do. I'm trying to be really aware and not embarrass them and not think, oh, I don't want them to listen to this and years to come they'll probably hopefully never listen.

43:57They'll never listen to this. Keep just leaving random pisses in toilets and not flushing the chain and then you walk into a room and you're like, why does it smell like fish? Well, they've taught them that. And it's little boy piss. They've taught them that. Who's taught them? The school's taught them that. Why? What do you mean? And I'm sure I told your Kev it, and your Kev said it was off meet the fuckers or something. If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down. Eh? It's to save water. So my house just has to smell like piss? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. If it's yellow, let it mellow.

44:26If it's brown, flush it down. I saw... Rafe was having... So, have you not seen the way... They don't understand. It is like... Women don't understand how difficult it is sometimes to keep the piss in the toilet when it's spraying all over the place. It's the starting and the finishing. Once you've got the stream, listen up everyone, but thank you for coming to me, Ted Talk. Once you've got the stream of the piss going straight, it's easy to keep it where it is. But when it starts, it can be rogue. And when it finishes, it can be a bit rogue, right? Rafe, I saw him today, standing and having a piss, right?

44:55And at the same time, he was like scratching his stomach like that. So it was just fucking, and it was going, I went, you can't do that. It was going everywhere. I went, you can't do that when you've got to stay still when it's happening. And then the tiles underneath start smelling the piss. It's when it goes, because we've got them floating toilets. Not floating toilets. They're attached to the wall. You know what I mean? It's when it goes down the bottom and underneath. And sometimes, sorry everyone, but sometimes I'll get the paper, the toilet paper, I'll wipe it underneath and it's like orange on the bottom.

45:22It's like fucking stalactites. I know it is because it stinks. I can smell it. I've got to flash it all the time. Halfway through the last anecdote that you were saying about running out of shower gel, I don't know if you're aware, I think Carl Hutchinson, he's done it on his Instagram, he mentioned on his Instagram and I think he's mentioned it on his podcast but you won't be aware of this he told me he was backstage at a gig and there was a shower there and he went to go and use the shower and he opened the shower curtain and in the shower was a bottle of fairy liquid saddest thing I've ever heard someone on the road on that tour had had a shower at this venue and washed their body with fairy liquid That's sad times, isn't it?

46:06That's so, that would have took, it's so greasy. It's so like, it's thick, isn't it? Yeah. It's claggy. It's like thick sun cream, isn't it? Yeah, not a fan of that. Not a fan of that. Just really quickly, somebody messaged in. I'm not going to read the full thing, but it's, hi Chris and Rosie. Your discussion about a white party on holiday sparked a memory. About seven years ago, I was invited to a white party for a charity event. started early afternoon on a Sunday and as a result the venue put food on right what food do you think would be the safest to eat at a white party if it wasn't spaghetti bolognese or something was it pizza it's a carvery

46:55a carvery full carvery at the white party she said it was just an absolute disgrace she tipped gravy all down the front of her white dress

47:09I literally Rosie I wouldn't let you eat I wouldn't let you eat I'd be like you can't you can't oh that's brilliant oh

47:21that's so that's so that's that's where you got your red cabbage that's when England really lets itself down doesn't it yeah yeah like surely could that venue not have been like it's a white party everyone's going to be white summery oh and could the chef not have been like well maybe maybe not the carvery that day yeah maybe not the carvery that day maybe something maybe let's do finger beige do a beige buffet beige buffet finger foods little sandwiches no no we'll have a full carvery beef grainy if it was all white stuff it would be like I remember years and years ago I got my teeth whitened like just with the the cream stuff you put on and they put the UV light on you just gotta eat mashups you just gotta eat I think I ate what was it you only could eat white stuff for like the full day.

48:01So it was like white rice, white pita bread. It's ridiculous. Like I think I had rice crispies. I remember waking up in the middle of this, no word of a lie. Was this when you were really constipated? Yeah. So I woke up, no, no, I woke up in the middle of the night and I could feel just like a mass of stuff and I had a neck and neck loads of water and I physically felt it move and I was like, oh, I'm okay now. And it went down. Oh, it was madness. Madness. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. Hi, this is Gemma. I'm just sending a voice note because I am re-listening to the podcast for probably the 50th time.

48:36Love you. I know Chris probably thinks I'm mad, but... No, I love you. I really enjoy... It's like when I'm doing housework and stuff, just having you guys on in the background. I love that. Fucking house must be clean. I came across the old episode Fish Guy when you lived in your old house with your fish tank. And I'm just wondering, did the fish tank migrate to the new house with the... or is bubbles, the fighting fish, somebody else's problem?

49:07I don't listen to these before, I do. I don't want to get in trouble. Look, the fish tank didn't come with me. No. I'll be honest with you. The fish tank didn't come with me. We left it there. We left it there. Thank you for taking it on. I took them to a farm. Oh, this is right. A lovely big reservoir. Yes. And I put them in there with all the other fish they made loads of fish friends. Okay, good. Not bubbles that can only be on their own. Was it called bubbles? I can't even remember. I think so, the fighting fish, yeah. So I went to... Why was he a fighting fish? Japanese fighting fish, that's what they're called.

49:40Dickheads, can't be with another one. They bait a fish or whatever, they can't be with another one because they fight, the dicks. Weirdly, I went to Pets at Home the other day and me and Rafe were just killing a bit of time. I was walking past it with Rafe and we waited to Dunham to get them cups that you hated. Thank you again. And I just walked in and we'll look at the fish tank and all the Japanese fighting fish, they're all in separate little compartments of the tank because they're just dicks and they'll just kill each other. But yeah, no comment about what I did with the fish. What I got to do with you.

50:10Why you all up in business. Why you listen to the podcast so much. What are you obsessed with this? You literally said you loved that. Take that out. Take that out.

50:21Hi. Please keep me anonymous. I've had this story for years but when I heard Chris mention having to put the toilet paper in the bins in Greece, it reminded me to send this in. Ooh. For context... Sorry, can I just say, isn't that weird? Because that was just a tiny little offhand comment. I didn't talk loads about that. I just said sometimes you've got to... It was a momentary little quip, and it's amazing that it can just unlock something in someone's brain. God, I love this. Fantastic. For context, we were living in southern France working for an Irish aviation company. Okay, right now. Or Aer Lingus.

50:58Cool. In the south of France? Well, I don't know what they're doing in the south of France, but they're the only two Irish aviation companies I can think of. Okay. Oh, God. What? I thought it was like air conditioning or something. Is that flying? Oh, God. Why do you do this to yourself? I don't know. Genuinely, I was like an Irish air conditioning company. Aviation? In south of France. Flying? All right, now I get it. Aviators. Oh, you're thinking of that film with Leonardo DiCaprio, the aviator, where he was an air conditioning salesman. I've never seen it. It's good. He was a pilot. Yeah. Is it good though?

51:30I do love Neil deGrasse. It's all right. One of the guys we were with was originally from Scotland and a few of his mates had come over for a visit. We were having some drinks and chatting about holidays and how we were just back from Crete 2019 where I binged your podcast backlog and have been listening ever since. Oh, lovely. He mentioned he had been to Greece but wasn't a fan of the weird toilet situation. Oh, God, what's he doing? We sort of passed over it but then my husband came back to him and said sure the toilets aren't that weird you only have to put toilet paper in the bin this is where the lad's face dropped and he said what do you mean the toilet paper you put everything in the bin we laughed and said again no just the paper what were you doing it turns out he was putting his entire shit into the bin but he was doing it in the toilet first than getting it out and putting it in the bin.

52:25So, I'll explain. At this stage, you can imagine we could hardly breathe for laughing and him trying to explain himself in his Irish accent just kept making it even funnier.

52:39It says cute, rosy, Scottish accent, but I can't do four sentences. Oh, Scottish accent, not Irish accent. Are we then? Hang on. It's a beroleic, moonlit, nick, nick. I was just wrapping me hand with toilet roll and doing me jobby on it, covering it and thrown it into the bin. So he was mummifying his hand with toilet rolls. Shitting in his hand. Shitting into his hand. What did he think the toilet was there for? A piss. Probably just wait. He probably just thought it was for number ones and then you had to do your two. Into your hand. Into the hot bin, by the way. Oh, it's always hot. Hot bin.

53:14It's always hot. So, yeah. We explained he was definitely wrong and if that was the case, he could have just shit directly into the bin. Can you imagine this man's been going to Greece for a fortnight every year of his life? Can you imagine? You have a shit every day, really, don't you? 14 a year. 14 a year for 15 years. We were howling at this. He'd even told all his friends and family not to go to Greece because you can't even shit in the toilets.

53:45Oh, no, you don't want to be going to Greece. I love the idea. There's a small, very, very small percentage of people in Scotland who all fully believe, who he spoke to, that all fully believe that in case you've got a shit in your hand and throw it in the toilet. You know that saying, I'd rather shit in my hand and clap? They're fucking halfway, there they are! That was really good. I'm all right, you know. I'm all right. Oh, no, I need to practice mine. It wasn't that good. It was really good. Was it? Yeah, well done. I can't handle a compliment. Can you see, everyone? If you saw or heard, I can't handle a compliment on the podcast.

54:19I go all weird. Only said you had a good Scottish accent. More than you normally say. And I said you were very fit. Guy, I'm really nice to you, so don't even dare. You did not say I was very fit. You got your medical? Yeah, I told you that science said I was very fit, and you said well done. I congratulate you on your fitness. Yeah, but that's not the same thing as you saying I'm very fit. Sassenach! I'm going to start watching Outlander again, you know. Oh, God. The smelly fanny express. no thank you cheesy dick cheesy dick express all aboard fucking cheesy bellend midnight trail no thank you no thank you

55:03it is fucking disgusting no one shagged that much in them days I won't have it I think they did I think they did they didn't have any distractions there's no telly no nothing shagging was the crack yeah stinking

55:24as always thank you so much for listening and watching this week's episode of Shad Married and Oud thank you so much guys we really really do appreciate it if you watch it on YouTube please consider subscribing that'll be lovely and if you haven't subscribed on your podcast shop please subscribe on your podcast shop and while you're at it chrisramseycomedy.com the tour is on sale September, October, November, December just getting away from the family it's going to be a lovely bit of nature time join us why not thanks bye

55:57good energy in good energy out

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