Hot and Heavy

0:00Coming up on this week's episode. As well as many, many other things, we chat about breakfast stress. School pubes. That sounds a lot worse than what it is. Actually, it is actually quite bad. We go deep, deep into bubble wrap. And we also tell you the story of the worst commute ever. Definitely up there. Yeah, oh mate. If this had happened to me, I would not have mentally or physically recovered by now. Never. And the story this lady wrote in was 15 years ago. Yeah, oh, she's still scared. Enjoy. hello you're listening to shag married annoyed with me rosie ramsey my husband christopher ramsey also watching hello youtubers you're watching it and we've got all the christmas deckies up yay how exciting i mean it does look lush on camera it looks very nice on camera in reality i mean they are they're outdoor ones that are supposed to go on a house and they've just been ragged across the thing we found them in the loft they were extra what do you know what Sorry.

0:54I remember a couple of years ago, I was full of promise. I was full of hope. I bought them in the shop, in the garden center. And I thought, I'll bloody go up that ladder and I'll get them nailed onto the side of our house. And they've been in a box for fucking years. I would love to be one of them people who like decorates the outside of the house really nice. But I just can't be arsed. It must take forever, man. I mean, it's not even that. It's the storage throughout the year that I find stressful. Where are they keeping all that shit? Well, no, there's companies that come and do it. it no no but i mean people who just do it you know just people normal normal fellas who just make the house fucking mad i mean you see the ones that go viral where it's like oh he's a light technician for cold play and he does this to his house and you go fair enough well yeah but i mean like you know the salt of the earth normal fucking bloke taxi driver or something but at christmas he makes his house fucking nuts yeah where is that shit all year are you like you know are you eating off boxes full of shit all year it's in the garage they've got a really really organized garage and it's in a box on the side on a crate hit him hit him yeah we just don't i don't have time i don't have time to like live never mind do like decorate we've put one christmas tree up because the kids begged and sorry not to sound horrifically privileged but we do have three yes because we've got you know one in the hallway yeah yeah yeah one in one sitting room one the one in the posh sitting room one in the family sitting room exactly one that the one that the kids are allowed to do one that we have to do and one that's already pre-done you just get out of the box but uh we've just put one up and honestly chris i don't think we'll end up with the other two up i think that's it we've got there's not one wreath there's not one garland we'll just put it up just shut them up yeah it's well then i want me little houses up i do like me little when right okay tell me when you're gonna put them up uh that's a very good but we've got a very busy we have got a very very busy december yeah yeah we've got a very very busy that's actually upsetting i've said it before i'll say it again we are just not what happened is two unorganized fucking gobshite show-off tosspots have married each other.

2:51And I've said it before, the most jealous I get of someone is when I'm in the hairdressers and someone is leaving the hairdressers and on the way out, they go, can I book for six weeks time at 10 o 'clock? And I want to go, teach me how you do this. Because if I booked that, I could book that. We could all book that. I'd fucking phone up that week of it and go, I'm sorry I didn't realize I booked this in. I need to cancel it. Some people have a lot more structured lives than we do. that's a problem we've just there's no structure there's no structure but I've never had structure and you know what's mad if I had structure you'd be bored as fuck yeah so and the grass is always greener on the other side the leaves got a nook that you want to drive yeah you're all out so yes listen it's Christmas it's 11-11 it's 11-11 as this goes out it's the 5th of December if you haven't got your tree up yet congratulations well done we caved and put ours up on the 29th which hurt it hurt so much and we're away so well there we go And there it is.

3:46But listen, thank you for watching. If you are watching on YouTube, please consider clicking subscribe. Smash that subscribe button, man. It would be really, really helpful if you did. Again, just to get to the 100 ,000 so I can have the plaque. I say I want to give it to Robin. I think I actually want to taunt him with it and rub it in his face because he wants to be a YouTuber. I mean, the fact that he's currently banned from watching YouTube is hilarious. Yeah, there is that as well. So if we get that, that would really rub it in his face. Yeah, quick story. Walked in his room, heard YouTubers talking, told a sexist joke, Turned it off.

4:16Told him he couldn't watch it again. That was that. Sisters, I'm an ally. He is an ally. I'm an ally. Rackets, terrified of me wife. Because you know what she's like. Sorry. That just says to me that he was watching it for too long. And he went, he just got really deep in it. Yeah, he clocked it. He completed all the bits he wanted. Yeah, and it was sexism time. Always heard a lot even worse things than that. And I happened to just randomly walk in on one of them. I mean, who knows? You could lose sleep. He's doing all right, though. he's fucking fantastic he's much better when he hasn't watched YouTube I think all kids are now listen his behaviour actually has improved yeah we know this all the time you get them off Roblox get them off YouTube you get your kid back yeah yeah but then they're on quite a bit yeah you get them back what it's like full time listen thank you for listening thank you for watching and all of that we really do appreciate it and without further ado it's time for this week so I'm just looking if you're watching on video I'm looking at my phone because I forgot my iPad what I normally read off I don't know where it is I was watching something in Beverly last night but I don't know where I put it now listen it is time for this week's lucrative lucrative sponsor now an incredible thing happened to me it was about four days ago I went to the back of my cupboard and I found a Christmas present that I hadn't used and I looked at the bottle and I couldn't believe what I was seeing and this is the sponsor from me I'm I'm gonna put money on that it was from your dad just for what it looked like for what it was this week's lucrative lucrative sponsor and a lot of people out there won't let this exist and this blew my mind and I'll tell you why this week's lucrative sponsor is hair and body wash shampoo and conditioner in one oh yeah like oh yeah yeah have you any idea the time I am saving in the shower right oh do you know what this is upsetting right it's unbelievable can I tell you I'm sorry to butt in okay that's fine am I allowed to butt in on my own podcast er no so the time up yeah you can I saw this in Marx's and I nearly got you one for Christmas I want one get us two get us ten of them I will never go back give me 40 more I will never go back to separate separate separate shampoo and conditioner and body washing I thought you would hate it how much time have you got right I've done the maths must be very greasy it's slick doesn't matter listen parts of my body are soft softer than they normally are and my hair is not as soft as it normally is but it's fine I'm going to get used to it listen let's say 10 seconds to locate and pick up the bottle of whatever you're using and dispense it into your hands okay yeah let's say 10 seconds 10 seconds i'm being you know just you know if you drop it right or if you fumble it off or if you stop you know um 10 seconds to pick mornings have a rhythm you can hear it feel it and at quaker we fuel it with 100 whole grain oats and a good source of fiber in every bowl, helping you turn that rhythm into your soundtrack for a great day.

7:14Fueled to start whatever's next. Quaker, official sponsor of FIFA World Cup 26. I-O, let's go! I-O, let's go! You have one new message. Translating. Disney and Pixar's Hoppers is now available on Disney+. You could say that again. Critics are calling it Pixar's funniest movie ever And a wildly entertaining ride Blizzard Potato It's certified fresh and verified hot Now we party This is incredible Wow, I am clearing the rest of the day Disney and Pixar's hoppers Now available on Disney Plus Rated PG Dispense whatever you've got, right? 30 seconds to wash yourself with it, right? So I've covered both bases I've made one a bit longer and one a little bit shorter So we're sort of mids halfway, right?

8:05So that's 40 seconds, right? You're doing that three times. You're picking up the shampoo, you're doing that. You're picking up the shower gel, you're doing that. You're picking up it, yeah? Okay, you're following us now? Yeah. Now, I'm doing that once, right? Not thrice, I'm doing that once. I'm picking up and doing it once. I'm saving one minute 20 per shower. Wow. Let's say I'm showering once a day, right? Just to be safe here, just to lowball it, right? That's one minute 20 a day that I'm saving. That's 80 seconds a day that I'm saving. That's nine minutes 30 a week. Yeah. Rosie, it's eight hours a year.

8:36Eh? Eight hours. No, I might have done that wrong. It's not eight hours a year. Hold on, nine minutes a week. I mean, and if it is, that's not that impressive, Chris. No, nine times 50. 450 divided by 60. Nine minutes a week is how far I've got on the maths. The rest of the maths has fallen us down. Nine minutes, right. No, no, no, that's right. So nine times 52. Come on, we're all still here. 486 so that's 486 minutes yeah that's alright so then you divide that by 60 that's 7.8 yeah 8 hours it's 8 hours I was right you did it again your stupid face put us off I say the same during sex

9:24look over there your stupid face putting us off I couldn't finish your stupid face

9:33it was a year i could learn a language it was a year don't don't because because you remember when when we went to greece for our honeymoon yeah and you told the guy at the hotel i think we've mentioned this but chris told the guy at the hotel um we're gonna come back for 30th and I'm going to speak Greek. And he went, really? And I went, yeah. And I have never went back to that hotel, nor will I ever go back. That is such an ick. Why did I marry you? Oh, we were married then, actually. Honeymoon. I was fully locked in. I think I will as well. Well, we both were like full of fucking champagne, full of honeymoon, thinking we're amazing.

10:13Yeah, we'll come back. We'll be back here. Yeah, in four years, speaking fluent Greek. Dickhead. Malacca. Yeah. Bless you. Oh, gosh. so there we go so 8 hours what are you going to do with it I don't know wank oh great 8 hours solid 8 hours a year oh my gosh I was watching a little Instagram clip the other day I think it was GK Barry and she was interviewing a porn star and the guy he was Geordie unfortunately my man oh not unfortunately he just always seems to just every time I see like a clip of a Geordie it's just something rotten well yeah no no and I'm here and I hoard these things in the boot in my car.

10:55Yeah, yeah. Anyway, Jeremy Kyle was always, whenever you turn Jeremy Kyle or Trish around and they were fucking throwing punches, they were always funny. Anyway, it's lush up here, so whatever. Oh, don't slag the North East off, love it, but you know, sometimes, you know, I mean, dare I say it, there'll be people listening to us and go, are them two people who talk about shagging and wanking and all that, oh, they're dragging the area down. I think you'll find this is an actual very highbrow, I've got a gingham top on for God's sake. can I finish my story yeah but I've got a quick story about Jeremy Kyle have I ever told this have I ever told about the fact that I was once watching before I went to All Sports once for a shift during the summer holidays when I was working in All Sports in South Shields rest in peace I was watching Jeremy Kyle I'm sure I've told this apologies if I have I was watching Jeremy Kyle and there was a Geordie on Jeremy Kyle this young lad and he was like I don't know getting a paternity test and he was fucking scrapping and shouting and swearing I got on the bus to go down to South Shields and he was on the bus shut up it was unbelievable there was a couple of them where I used to work in a nursery in Fennham and there was about three families had been on.

11:51Wow. It was like a thing. Wow. And they were like buzzing. I go, how will we be?

11:59And yeah, it was the same family that got told off for wearing onesies to pick the kids up. Right. They were wearing onesies while really fake. You can't put price on comfort. Listen, what was I saying? Oh, it's actually rank. He's a porn star and he was saying that they fake, you can't watch porn anymore because he just knows how fake it is. Right. But like us watching TV programs and you go, well, that's being produced. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was saying that a lot of the cum shots, if you've had like, you know, three scenes a day, the cum shots, they use a little like caldwell syringe. Maybe take a syringe, more of that.

12:31And they just put lube down the bottom of the penis. And then the cum shot is just, it's just lube coming out. Sorry. Yeah. Sorry, they put it down the end of the... Yeah. They squirt lube down the end of the man's penis. Yeah. and then they'll put the camera away squirt the lube put it back and they'll go and it'll just be just be lube coming out that's fuck it I didn't know they put it down I didn't know they put it down the end well where else they're going to put it maybe put it underneath and film from above so it looks like it's firing out I don't know it just comes out it's just done wait what I've got me phone it doesn't always have to squirt does it it'll not work on the camera watch me swallow me phone yeah it does look quite good well it just went down the side well it just went down the side of me phone like I don't know the ins and outs of the porn world anyone no I'm telling you right listen weirdly me and my mates we stayed at a cottage at the weekend had a couple of drinks and beers and that we were practicing your cum shots were you well no it just I don't know why I'm saying this but it's we're talking about different things we're talking about calipos syringes we've gone all over the place we've got loads you can spare calipos syringes don't be snide one I don't know how we got on to it but I was half drunk and we're sitting talking we're watching the football having a few bottles and I remember the sentence one of my mates said people who stick things down the end of the knob make me want to die that was his exact sentence and I spat my beer out I was laughing that much because it came from nowhere but there so that's wow do you know what it is I thought this was going to be quite a light hearted Christmas no we've gone full in I mean this yeah this is what people do it's a business man business listen if you're a porn star and they're making you put stuff down the end of your penis phone HR or unionised, for fuck's sake, unionised.

14:16It's part of the job. Well, it's like the squirt shots. It's just wee. I don't think it's wee. A lot of the time it is wee. They just drink loads and then they're just wee and then squirt everywhere. Is this a Christmas special? No, it's not. Can you remember Smell-O-Vision? Was it Children of Need or was it Comic Relief when they did Smell-O-Vision back in the day? It was Noel Edmunds House Party and you had to buy the scratch cards. And then you smelt what they were doing. That was such a good... Oh, God, I love that. Was it crap? Yes. Right. Well, I had the best time. Yes. It's like, it was up there.

14:49Like, I mean, go to the aid, coffee, go to the cupboard and open the coffee. Oh, we've all smelled coffee as a nation. No, everyone smelled the same, but you had to scratch. Every time they'd got to a bit different part of the show, you would scratch it off and you would sniff. And it was just, that was wonderful. Smell-O-Vision. Let's do that again. Because I think our kids would enjoy that. No, they wouldn't. There's a producer listening to this now going, yes, let's bring back Smell-O-Vision. Anyway, that's why they've never done it for porn. Because all you were built to smell is piss, cal pulse syringe, filled jizz, lube, gooch, arse sweat and breath.

15:19Ugh. Dried spit stinks so much. Like, what are they doing, man? It's just pure breath. Oh, God. Anyway, welcome to the show. Hello! Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. We had a fight about the jingle. Jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jingle. So this is the jingle jingle We hope you like the jingle jingle Babadoo babadoo babadoo ba Jingle Hello, welcome back, joy to the world Yes Lovely to have you with us Hello, hello, how are you? I'm good today actually This is the good week I'm on my good, good week Listen, I had quite a stressful morning, I'll be honest with you You've been, I had to ask if you were alright Yeah, yeah Yeah, I don't know what's going on Well, I'll tell you what, because obviously I wake up and I do the kids' breakfast.

16:13And I hope that when they're older, they remember and they appreciate the fact that their dad did them a cooked breakfast every morning. Oh, yeah, you do them a little omelette. It's nice. Yeah, and Robin gets a fried egg and some toast. Our children do not need heightened blood sugars. Yeah, they don't need fucking sugary cereal. I'm not saying I'm against sugary cereal and all that. You know, fucking hell, they'll have it for supper. But not in the morning. I give them, I make sure they get an egg in them. Hiya, hiya boiled egg downers. I had to do that this morning. with no kitchen roll. We've run out of kitchen roll.

16:44Is that what's upset you? No kitchen roll? Have you ever fucking tried to make any kind of fried food without kitchen roll? Yeah. It's fucking, it's literally impossible. It was horrible. So I've got, I'll get the pan out. Well, the pan was left on the side because you did an egg last night. I'd normally wipe the pan with kitchen roll. I had to do it with a sponge. That upset us. And then I sprayed the oil in and then what I do is I spray the oil and I heat it up and then I get the excess off and then I put, it was just everything and then I'm eating coffee I got my coffee machine I couldn't do the thing and I know people say oh it's bad for the environment but people just pick when people are slagging off something that's bad for the environment they just pick the thing that they don't use right so there'll be footloads of people out there who go just use a cloth it's bad for the environment right well oh helicopters are bad I've never talked about helicopters so I'll slag them off do you know what I mean without kitchen rule it was like cooking with one arm behind my fucking back it was awful doesn't take much to tip you over the edge does it no it doesn't it really doesn't I knew there was something wrong with you.

17:40I remember once when I stayed at my mate's house when he lived at uni and I made a full English breakfast on the morning and there was no kitchen roll and I had to do it with bog roll and it was the saddest moment. Upset. One of the saddest moments. Well, listen, let's swap the jobs. Right. No, I don't want to swap the jobs. Right, well then. No, because you get your lie in, you get your coffee, then you get their clothes on. Don't get a lie in, I'm very much awake. You are literally in bed till midday, but you get them ready for school. I get them ready. Which is good. That's the job we've got.

18:03Which, and the teeth brushing and the shoes and the ties and it's I think I do think you've got the easier option I'm not gonna I don't wanna no because I'm up straight away immediately I'm awake and I'm fighting well let's swap right but I'm immediately awake and fighting about what are you having for breakfast what do you want what are you having why did you ask them so I didn't this morning actually just give them it I started asking for mad stuff and I was like you're just having a fucking omelette what was he asking for he wanted what did he want oh he wanted a pancake of course he wanted a pancake that's all he fucking wants pancakes it's unbelievable that's a weekend food it's ridiculous It's a weekend.

18:36I mean, it's brilliant. We've got them ready-made ones, but they're sugary as fuck. I know. Yeah, it's a treat. It's literally a cake. Have you had them? Yeah. God, they're lush, aren't they? Oh, you do them crispy. Oh, ready-made. Oh, Jesus Christ. I love art. You know what it is? Get that pancake syrup down the end of my night. I'm not going to call pole thing, and I'll spray it all over my own pancake. Spray it on my pancake. Sorry, did I say that out loud? I love pancakes, mate. Here's another thing. Yes. So your mum is adamant that we need a new toaster. she could know do you know what it is the bread that we've got just doesn't toast very well that's all it is she's absolutely i'm sorry what what happens in our house and what we have has nothing to do with her she uses the toaster quite a bit so she said it was this morning she said we need a new you need a new toaster and i went i went i don't think we do like i'm all right with it she went well yeah but the number that i put it on is different from my number at home i have to put it on so she puts it on a one at hers at home and it does the toast perfectly but you've got if you want the toast rinsed at hours you've got to put on like a four yeah and i was talking about it and we both came to the conclusion that there is no universal measurement for toastiness and there needs to be there is not because i used to think it meant minutes no it doesn't mean the numbers on the side of the toaster they don't mean minutes i saw weirdly i saw a thing online once where someone had timed it and he put a one and it was all different like the two wasn't two minutes it was miles over two minutes and all that they're not timing it's like levels of toastiness okay but there's no well but then let's live in a communist country then oh you went straight to that did you you went straight to that you went straight to that I just think this should be your level alright then but then what's going to happen is you can get a toaster for 15 quid you can get a toaster for probably 150 quid yeah one is going to probably be better than the other but if you want them to all be the same well maybe you're not going to be able to buy your cheaper version or a more expensive version you're going to have to buy will turn into a communist country right and I don't want to you're not going to ever get the same you're never going to get the same oven you're never going to get the same washing machine I'm not saying I want a communist country right I can't even say that's all wearing a uniform don't even know what that means but all I'm saying is have you don't know what communist country is no I don't want to news have just let's all just have the same toaster let's every company stop and let's have one centralised company that just makes the toaster but that's not going to work because it's going to be paid for by the people it's going to be middle of the road controlled by the state I don't know what communism means I was going to say shut up no but then it's going to be you're never going to be able to buy a budget toaster.

20:58Right. Or a high-end toaster. Because if they're all the same, they'll all be the same price in the middle and that's not fair. Right. Either way. Because it would be cheap for rich people and expensive for people who, oh, okay. Yeah. So, like poll tax. Yeah. Toasters are all different and you know what it is? Sandra is just going to have to stand there for two minutes and keep an eye on it. Right. And she's going to have to shut a hole. I was just... I'm doing it, ma 'am. Ma 'am. Bring your toaster from home. I was just about to say, do you think some kind of political expert could listen to this and take the part?

21:34And in a way, it would be as if we were talking in code about the running of the country. And I think maybe up until the point of Sandra can shut a fucking hole and just watch her toast. It could have worked. I think it might have worked right up until that point. Yeah, yeah. I love your mom, I'm sorry. I really do love her. But she'd kind of be coming around telling us how to live her life and what toast I'd have. Do you know what I mean? She's a very wise woman, Alison. I've heard a lot of things. Now listen, I've had my flu jab, but I am thirsty. I had my flu jab and I was not thirsty at all.

22:04So there you go. Didn't have a proper one, did you? I told them when I got my flu jab. By the way, we've just been getting flu jabs because I had flu a couple of years ago and I don't ever want it ever again. So I don't want to say what I'm going to say because I don't want to jinx it, but you all know what I'm alluding to here about flu and my lack there hereof. I kind of said it. but what what are you saying it doesn't matter I've alluded to people who get it they get it people who don't they don't we've got a lot weirdly we've got a lot on and then my only bad thing about Christmas is you go hey everyone get together and you know we've got a few parties I'm going to see people and I'm fucking ill for Christmas because everyone just comes in I don't want to be like a germaphobe but it's when I say hey hi Merry Christmas big cuddle hey big cuddle how are you by the way oh I'm ill tell us before the fucking cuddle Yeah, don't come.

22:55Yeah, don't come. Don't. If you're coughing your fucking guts up, you're not allowed to come to the party. It's like Bairns, when people are like, oh, Bairns. No, no, sorry. Nothing to do about that. Excuse me. Oh, Bairns had diarrhea this morning. The door is there. Thank you very much. Because, no, I wouldn't take, if my child had had diarrhea in the morning, I wouldn't take them around other children. And that's just me. Like, do you know what I mean? What was I going to say? Yeah, so I had my flu jab the other day. and I left. Do you remember? The rang is in the car and I was like, oh, for God's sake.

23:28I was like, they've given us the wrong jab, Chris. I was like, they've given us the wrong bloody jab. Just to quietly interrupt here, so your arrogance at this point was up there with, does everyone remember when she had an abscess in her mouth that you got it lanced and she smelt the abscess and decided that the dentist had bad breath? I was like, this dentist's got halitosis. Until you realised that it was your own fucking abscess. So we're driving home and the phone rings and it says, it sort of guesses from emails and stuff if it's the chemist, so it kind of guessed that it was the chemist, which freaks me out.

24:00And you literally went, oh, oh, this is it. They've given us the wrong jab. What did they actually say? I'd left without paying. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Mrs. Ramsey, just wondering, do you pay for your prescriptions? Oh, yeah, sorry, I forgot. You're the only person I know who gets a fucking flu jab and dash. Oh, God. I've never known anyone get a flu jab and dash. I was like, see us later. Bye. She did look at us a bit funny. And then, yeah, well. Unbelievable. The confidence you must have left with. It didn't even stop me at the door. You're like, bye, everyone. I'm off to go and lick some park benches because I cannot get the flu.

24:39Now I know what to do. Yeah. Now I know what to do. The confidence, isn't it? It is just me. Literally, I'm going to go to the Toby Carvery next week, right? And I'm going to, on the way out, and you're like, bye, guys. See you next week. No, no, no, no. they'll not stand for that the Toby Carvery they'll fucking tackle you to the floor they'll have you there's no fucking about the Toby Carvery here's a little thing about Toby Carvery's go on a Sunday yeah I went on a Saturday yeah just not as big a turnover not as nice not much going on not as good well they're knocking it out fresh on their Sunday yeah fresh is out on a Sunday busy it's when you want to go got you but I love a Toby Carvery you do don't you I really do I just love a Sunday dinner and it's like it's just mint mint sauce Oh, plenty of mint sauce.

25:23Quick question for you before we go on. Yeah? Did you wrap today? Sorry? Did you wrap today? What? Did you wrap today? What's happened? Did you wrap today? What happened? Did you wrap today? Chris? Did you wrap today? Are you having a stroke? Sorry, I'm doing an impression of every fucker who works at McDonald's when I pull up to the thing and they ask if I've ordered on the app today. no fucking syllables i swear to god right i pulled up the idea and i i was busy with the kids and i was asking the kids what they want and all i heard today he's fucking cackling fucking you can barely hear it today sorry what today sorry mate what did you order on the no i didn't order on the app today fuck me did you learn to speak this morning good god pal that was horrible honestly but what was really funny was i was going to rob and i went i couldn't understand what he was saying.

26:17I was on the way, he was saying it so fast. Brapt today, brapt today. Just something, fella. Just a Mac, like Mac accent. Like, when he started, he was like, did you order on the app today? And I was going, brapt today, brapt today. And then Rafe was in the back going, brapt today, brapt today. It was great for me. But a beat to it. It was a little moment. So hang on, do you have to order on the app so you don't go through the drive-thru? I don't understand. I was so confused. In all honesty, I don't understand. I pull up and they all ask if I've ordered the app. It's up there with when you phone a call center and they go, do you know you can go online?

26:42I go, I do, but obviously I haven't found the shit online, so I'm phoning because I want to talk to someone. You're on the app today, no matter what the fucking drive, I don't understand. I don't understand the modern world. It's upsetting us. I'm scared. I'm cold. I'm confused. I just want someone to take us home. Not in a sexual way. Perhaps today. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Starting or growing your own business can be intimidating and lonely at times. Your to-do list may feel endless with new tasks and lists can easily begin to overrun your life. So finding the right tool that not only helps you out, but simplifies everything as a built-in business partner can be a game changer.

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29:33Your lads, yeah. For the weekend. And I got there a little bit before the boys, the Kim Metters. And I said, for a joke, I said, oh, I've just been up to each of your beds and I've put a handful of pubes each in your pillowcases. Right? For a laugh. Okay. Ha ha ha. Then Carl Hutchinson phoned us. Okay. Of course he did. and I said oh I've just I was laughing I said oh I've just sent this text to the lads because he was like what are you doing I was like oh we're doing this and I've just sent this text to the lads saying oh in the group chat saying oh I've put a handful of pubes in each year and he went oh like at school and I went sorry what and he went like at school and what do you mean at school and he went you know at school when someone would get up and go to the toilet so you said all all the lads in the class would all get a handful of pubes out and put it in their book and shut their books that when they came back they opened their book and there was loads of pubes.

30:24I went, no, no, mate. No. Oh, he went to my school. Not familiar with that crack. Yeah, he did go to your school. And this is, again, this is the problem here. Your school was worse than my school because people were throwing pubes around left, right, and centre. Catholic man, it was just innocent fun. Your school, though, I take, and how much is this school? My school, I just put pubes in books. Innocent. Godly. Lovely. Incredible defence. Nice. Godly. Heavenly. it might have been because I don't think I got pubes I was January about 19 so that might be my problem well exactly Carl was always like quite pubish pubescent mature all the blokes in Izzy they were like blokes sorry all the kids in Izzy they were actually yeah so there we go good times it's time for What's Your Beef what is your beef what is your hobby heave go on then my beef with you yeah this is from a few weeks ago yeah you are cooking tea which you very very rarely do dinner to the southerners do you remember do you remember the steak saga yes Chris was under pressure because he's not very good at cooking but you can cook which is really irritating yeah and I would love it oh what what what am I doing what am I doing with this beef from a while ago that wasn't even that bad compared to last night oh okay then oh okay yeah let's go there okay let's go there wow last night we had a really busy day yesterday we recorded loads of podcasts um really full-on really intense yeah we went back over i was taking rave up to bed yeah and you were just just making tea yeah just making making your own tea going about your business you made yourself a little cheese toasty and some soup Yes.

32:15Did you offer me any tea? I did not. But you were and had been, you were and had been sitting with your mam and your sister drinking corpious amounts of wine. As were you. I was in the hot tub with our four-year-old. Yeah, and then you were sat with us as well, though. I was playing with toys in the hot tub. And then what happened was I had been drinking wine with you and your mam and your sister. Then I went in the hot tub with the wine and playing with the child. the heat of our tub it dehydrates you a bit the wine is going down a little bit quicker I'd already had some wine gonna be on swear cards on the table came in a lot more pissed than I was when I went out I'm not saying I forgot I'm not saying I forgot you existed when I started making me tea but you definitely weren't at the forefront of me brain so cheese toasting soup for one please I think the thing I find most upsetting about it is I can't cook a meal in our house without including you or the children.

33:16Right. I would never in a million years just be like, what am I having for dinner tonight? What do I fancy? So you've never, ever cracked open a packet of Bachelorette super noodles for one and just made them in a pan for yourself. That's never happened. It has when we've had a discussion about it and you have decided what you're going to have separately. No, no, no, no. I skipped that discussion. You have not won. I have won this. I know you have. Right. I'm saying I was drunk, so what you're doing is you're essentially kicking a man while he's down. No, you need to stop. You need to admit that you just cracked on with your...