Judge us separately

0:00Coming up on this week's episode... We discuss my... Well, Rosie has diagnosed my childhood football trauma. Oh, there's a lot gone wrong there, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You're showing off your trophy. Mm-hmm. Yeah. We've got a little bit of Sunday brunch behind the scenes. We have indeed. We've also got Rosie's bedside table disasters. It's not a new segment, it's just what I'm annoyed about at the moment. Oh, yeah. AI kidnapping. We've got Hoover Beef. And also our Rafie makes a little guest appearance. I didn't know that, and it's very, very nice. his lovely little voice on the podcast. So cute. Enjoy.

0:33So good, so good, so good. New markdowns up to 70 % off are at Nordstrom Rack stores now. Stock up and stay big on shoes, tops, dresses, accessories, and more must-haves for summer. Join the Nordiclub to unlock exclusive discounts, shop new arrivals first, and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. And we're live from the living room as Doug eyes up the matchday spread. He's reaching for the Buffalo wing. Perfect. Hang on, what's this? Oh, he's going for a can of Pepsi too. Incredible. What a finish. Sensational combination.

1:17Look at the delight on his face. There's no doubt about it. It just tastes better. Matchdays deserve Pepsi. Food deserves Pepsi. Grab a pack of Pepsi Zero Sugar for today's match. It's poetry in motion Hello, you are listening And you are watching Shag to Married Annoyed With me Rosie and my husband Christopher And there's a third member Right in our face here today It's not a human Although it's got a human's face on It is It is my House of Games trophy Because I am winner winner chicken dinner And I just thought I forgot about it last week Yeah And then they mentioned it When we were on Sunday brunch And I was like I have not rubbed that in your face you know.

1:59So here it is. Absolutely fine. In all its glory. And do you know what? This actually, it links back to something I needed to tell you that I've done this week and it's the first time I've ever done it. Right. And it blew my mind that it's been nearly 40 years and I've never done it. Okay. First time you've done anything in your life? Whatever this thing is. This is the first time I've ever done this specific thing. Was it have a piss in one of these? No. No? Oh. Well you do that. I've never done that before but I will. That's next on the agenda. Have a piss in a cup with a charlesman's face on eh it's never been a thing where I want to piss in things I don't know if that's a man thing eh nah it's a bit easier for a bloke innit it's just point and shoot I've just never it's never been a part of my life where I'm like oh I wish I could piss in that I can't imagine you can aim very well can you oh no it's a bit like bursting a water bomb innit it's even worse since I've got older I'll tell you it's got it's just got worse just bleh bleh no it's like squirt anyway listen stop it's like a burst pipe um i ordered and bought an engraved trophy off a trophy website right but i didn't get i didn't go for a trophy in the end i went for the glass crystal sort of um thing right because in because in me society gilbert and sullivan i'm not doing the christmas concert which i'm gutted about yes we're just too busy um i'm on the committee obviously one of the members is leaving sadly after 60 years of being in the society he's been there he's been there since i well obviously since i was there when i joined i was 15 and he was there lovely man jerry and he's leaving so i took it i took the responsibility and i was like i'll get this ordered and yes the first time i've ever done it and when i was doing it i was like it's mad that you just buy them off this website I totally get what you're getting at here it is mad that you can just get them I could literally go on the website world's best dad massive trophy engrave it send it and just get it and put it up what did you win that for oh it's world's best dad just won it but do you not remember because when I did swimming when I was younger we used to get trophies are you about to ask me what it was like when I got trophies when I was younger have you never or don't tell me you haven't had any trophies you must have had some trophies nah what not even like did you do football well I so I did but I didn't play in the final that we did because I was really bad.

4:22You know about my football and debut. Surely I told you about my football and debut. Is it going to make it sad? Yeah, so John who lived at the top of the estate, John came down one day and said all of his people from his team had left, so would me and a couple of other lads who were just in the street be on the football team. I was like, oh definitely, we trained on Wednesday night to Tudor Eid, which has been knocked down since. Which is like a community centre where I live. And yeah, my first game I scored an own goal handballed it on the line gave away a penalty and got took off at half time so that was 10 minutes that was 10 minutes of football do you know the more that we chat even though we've been married for years the more we talk I really uncover your past trauma that's why you don't like football you've got pure trauma surrounded by football yeah I'm just getting shouted at all the time just for being bad at it in spite of me trying to doom the team's success we got some final of something and it was at Gypsy's Green Stadium.

5:17And I didn't play in the final. They didn't put us on. They wouldn't put us on just in case. Oh, you were benched. Benched the whole one. And then at the end... That does not bode well with your personality. No, no. I was fidgety. I was fidgeting. Don't bench out, Chris. And then I picked up the trophy at the end and went, yeah, yeah, yeah. Has everyone got a turn to pick the trophy? I think I got a medal, but I don't remember. You picked me and didn't even play? I got to pick the trophy, though, because I was on the team. Well, there you go. Comeradery. That's the thing, though. so listen to this didn't play but one of the first to pick the trophy up that sounds about right yeah because I was in the queue first because I hadn't been on the pitch they were all getting drinks and that and eating bits of orange I was in the queue waiting to pick the trophy up because I hadn't had much on oh Ben oh Chris Clipman yeah oh god oh god my heart is dying yeah no I didn't get any trophies or anything I don't think I got a trophy for a single thing when I was a kid right okay Well, I'm not...

6:16Why do you think I was so excited when I got a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu blue belt? I know. It all makes sense. It all makes sense. But I did, because I did swimming. I mean, listen, I got trophies, but I never, ever, ever got first place, I don't think. I think I got second once or twice. But I was... It was like age categories, and I'm the youngest. I was always youngest. I was tiny. And I was just shit compared to the rest of them. But I did get trophies. You got medals and trophies. and I got swim of the month which was like a massive achievement one month and just I never realised though how utterly shit they really are when you get them when you were a kid they were amazing well it's because it's got the achievement attached to it it's not just a bit of shit that you bought if it was just a bit of shit that you bought it wouldn't mean anything but it's because it's got the achievement attached to it I kept them all in the garage look at all of me trophies and things behind us now well there you go darling there's something to be said some people peak too early man 50 cents said it best not you other people 50 cents said it best damn homie in high school you was the man homie the fuck happened to you so yeah there you go well listen I'm going to take this away because I don't want to make you upset it's fine you enjoy it leave it there leave it there for the whole thing it'll put us off it's in both of the shots I know so I'm taking it away camera there we go reset's going one last hooray there you go nice guys thank you so much for listening thank you so much for watching if you're watching this on YouTube please consider smashing that subscribe button in the nicest, gentlest way possible.

7:44And please continue to like and rate and subscribe and all that stuff on YouTube and on the podcast shops. We really, really do appreciate it. Thank you. Now, from one shiny metal thing to another possible shiny metal thing, it is time for this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor. And this week we have another Chris Ramsey invention. Oh, okay. This week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor is... The Adult Clip-On Straw Sippy Cup. Hey, hey, are you a complete fucking moron who knocks over every single drink you have on your bedside table. Is it this? Every single drink you have on your bedside table.

8:17Does it end up on the floor? Does it end up all over your chargers? Does it end up soaking in your bed in your bedside table? Do you sleep in the middle of the night and in a hotel just here? Knock of water. Oh, God, what have I done? And if you do that or your partner does that, who are you talking about? You need the Chris Ramsey clip-on adult... I haven't really got a name for it yet. The clip-on adult Hampstead sippy cup. just listen just clips on to the side of your headboard or your bedside table it's got a little metal straw with a little ball in it because you know hamsters can't they can't suck oh do you mean like one of them yeah genuinely I would actually literally one of them big old adult size get a gallon in the side of it hey look if you want you can put juice in it and stuff but it will corrode the metal if it's like a citric acid not orange juice maybe some yeah and just lean out of bed just alright just nibble out yeah yeah bad times I do spill a lot of drinks every single time you ever do it.

9:08It's not every single time. Last night you went, make us a glass of water. I went, no. I would get a bottle. Get a bottle now because you just knocked them over all the time. Can we just clarify, I did not say, make me a glass of water. You did, yeah. You did. You had the knife in your hand as usual. You had the knife in your hand and that look in your eye and you said, make me a glass of water. And I said, bitch. Yeah, and I said, no problem, Dave. She makes us call her Dave. I said, no problem, Dave. And I made...

9:33I was wondering when we were going to lose the plot on this episode because I feel like we've spent a lot of time together. It's been a heavy weekend, We did press in London. Yeah. I'm knackered. Apologies to everyone. We were fucking everywhere at the weekend, last weekend, when London were doing stuff. So apologies. We're not them people who go, oh yeah, and I'm on this, and I'm on that, and I'm everywhere. I'm like, fuck, people are going to be so sick. I was tired of my own face. Do you want to go on these two wankers again? Yeah. Seeing the same stuff. Oh God. Is your book about poo, by the way?

10:01Yeah, it's about poo. Is it a children's book? Is it about poo? can you explain why it's about poo well I snidely look at you while it's about it's about poo because poo's funny as fuck help me face it's out now by the way flew up the charts the press does work like the poop bloody flew up the Amazon chart it was in and I've never been in this before there's a category on Amazon called Movers and Shakers and it was in Movers and Shakers Movers and Shakers Movers and Shakers up to number one on Movers and Shakers love it so there's a out by now get your kids one let the elf bring it yeah oh my god oh let the elf bring it and do like poo based things around it.

10:35Yeah. Do a Poon Army. Oh my God, there you go. There's a selling technique. Tactic. Buy the book. I'm glad we've thought of it fucking halfway through December. No, it's still time. People are running low. It's halfway through. Buy the book. Do a Poon Army down the stairs. Yeah. And leave a note saying this gave us inspiration. Dabs of chocolate or dabs of chocolate spread Nutella or something all the way leading to the book. Yeah. Okay, let's do that. That's a hard idea. We could, let's just do it. You tied it up. We had a fight about the jingle Jingle We couldn't settle on a jingle Jingle So this is the jingle Jingle We hope you like the jingle Jingle Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba Jingle Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shagged, Married, Annoyed.

11:27Like we say, we were all over in London doing loads of press. It was lovely, but at the same time, exhausting. It is nagging, isn't it? Well, it's weird because to anyone who doesn't have this job, they're just going to think, well, all you're doing is talking, but it's the schlepping around London from place to place. And then it's, it wasn't that bad because, you know, we're on with really lovely people like Jamie Thiexton and then, you know, the guys on Capital and then like Romesh. It was lovely. And it was dead nice, but you're just answering the same. It's mad. It's like a bad dream. I live in a world where I'm just terrified that I'm going to say something wrong.

11:58Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just constantly. so like yeah i want to talk about this because you you sometimes completely forget where you are you forget who you talk to and this i don't take this the wrong way and then no one not saying you're a big shot but you sometimes forget who you are as well what do you mean we got told on heart because they were sponsored by dobby's guys we got told on heart that that we're gonna get it was like it was very clever way of advertising during the show yeah they were going hey everyone who comes on as a guest phoning in if you're just a member of the public phoning in or if you're a guest you get a free christmas tree from dobbies and i imagine every other like quote unquote celebrity of person who was there promoting anything that they interviewed they went you get a free christmas tree and they went oh great we went you're fucking joking theekston a free tree really and he's going yeah and he's trying to move on but we're going a fucking free a free Christmas tree a free one and decorations you said decorations as well I swear to god I didn't fucking hear that I didn't hear that I'm not even kidding we've had our fake trees for years and they were a couple of quid you know buy cheap buy twice we couldn't believe it now one we completely derailed the show by being so excited Dobby's must have been over the moon because we were fucking banging on it for ages now to let everyone listening and watching here behind the curtain there's a weird thing where we've got like agents and the agents do all of the sort of communicating with radio shows and tv shows and producers the agents do that for you and one it's sort of like data protection and two it's so that if you if we end up randomly would would basically you'd randomly get asked for stuff and it has to go through the proper channels is the best way to describe it so you never really you never give your details your phone numbers and stuff to anyone at radio stations and stuff but the guy came in with a fucking clipboard to put the details down for Rosie to get a free tree from Dobby's and you fucking basically gave him your kidney.

13:53You were literally like, he's here in the address, here's my email, here's the code to me alarm. These are the hours we're out of the house. I went, like Dan who does our PR, he was like, I'll handle that, I'll handle that. He's like, I went, I was like, she's just literally gave all of her personal details away. We'll be every time Hart have got anything going on, they'll be ringing you now. Non-stop. No, it was on the same list as the winner. and then the guy was like yeah you probably don't want your email floating around Dobby's competition winner I don't mind competition winner I love anything free a little do you want a little behind the scenes well you know this story but we'll tell everyone behind the scenes where we're on Sunday brunch which was a blast by the way very funny I've never done it in the studio before it was a really good show it was a particularly good episode Chris McCausland who I've known for years who's just so fucking everything he says is dynamite well this is who I'm going to talk about Yeah, and Nigel Havers was mad.

14:49Oh, Nigel Havers was incline. Ben Miller was lovely. And Jack Savaretti. There. Yeah, brilliant. Gorgeous voice, gorgeous man. Had a lovely time. So I'd never met Chris McCausland before. I'd obviously seen him on loads of stuff. If anyone doesn't know Chris McCausland is the blind comedian who won Strictly. Yes, just last year, I think he just won. Yeah, he's the most recent winner of Strictly. You've always sang his praises. You've always been like, he's so funny. like he was on the circuit when you were doing all the circuit years ago so you kind of you all know each other don't you yeah um he was so funny yeah he was so funny at one point at one point ben miller was being um interviewed by simon and tim and uh he was kind of chatting we'd had our interview and ben miller he was talking about his illustrator saying he had this italian illustrator because he's got a children's book out as well because he's got a children's uh picture book and he was saying you know the italian illustrators are fantastic they do they're great they're ahead of the game grisper corsland just let know he sat next to me let know where he went he went have you you go hang on i don't want to get it wrong so he said have you got italian illustrators and i just looked at him i was like no and he went english i went yeah he went oh oh you've got them shitty english pictures i swear to god i could not stop laughing I was like what the actual shitty English bitches as Ben Miller said we've got these amazing Italian Italian illustrators he said Italian illustrators are so far ahead of the game compared to everyone else is what he said and I saw the corner of me I saw Chris McCauley leaning to you and I thought I know exactly what he's saying brilliant he was on it straight away and he's on tour and I think you guys should go see him and I think we should get him on please keep me anonymous if we can because I just he was just a hoot It's such a funny blog.

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19:35for those listening for those listening chris is looking at the camera like david brend i don't understand what you're talking about rosie the fbi have issued a warning about ai kidnapping scams that's the next new thing we all need to shit with pants about what ai is kidnapping people i don't understand fucking love that's where you went yeah ai is kidnapping people no So people are taking, they get a couple of your photos off Instagram or whatever. They get your details. They get a couple of your photos off Instagram. They can get AI to do like a photo of you like on your knees crying in the back of a transit van with blood on your face holding up a copy of today's paper.

20:13Send it to your mom and go, send with 10 grand or we'll kill her. Oh, for God's sake. My mom hasn't got 10 grand. Well, night night. What? I hate everything about this. This is like the texting thing, isn't it? in the ring and saying help. It's exactly like that, but it's now visually they've took it to another level. Bastards! Whoa, you really fucking went to town on that one. Sorry, sorry. I hate it. I hate it, I hate it so much. Every time any new technology comes out, criminals and bastards, as you said, bastards, will find a way to exploit it. Yeah. Honestly, everyone's trying to make these sex robots, these robots that look like humans.

20:50I'm telling you right now, they'll fucking have them, man. They'll lock your cock in there and you'll have to pay to get it out. Oh yeah, yeah. the bit to put your sister's face on it while you're shagging it and stuff 50 quid oh Jesus honestly it's going to be horrible 50 quid or you'll never get your cock back it'd be more than 50 quid to get your cock back imagine we've got to set a bar yeah we've got to like it's like scammies they only take 50 pence at a time they're not they're not I'm not paying this where's that blanket just put a blanket over it and just go to work live out me days what's that it's just a desk I carry around with this flopping around ew ew honestly bastards man I hate them awful so So what's your code word going to be?

21:29What, to not get AI'd? What's your code word? So you've got to have a code word so that you can say it there, yeah. Oh, badger. But then it's a badger. You told everyone now. So there you go. That's it. Getting AI'd. It's time for What's Your Beef? What's your beef? What's your beef? What's your beef? Beef, beef, beef, beef, beef. Ladies first. I've got a recorded beef. Oh, for fuck's sake. I can't live me life. I can't live me life. From our youngest son. Oh. This is from Rafi. he's part of the beef this week he's got a beef with me no he is not the beef you are the beef I'm the beef yes you are so he's got a beef with me erm no just listen hang on which one is it right ready you listening yep tell them what's your name Raefy Raefy what Raefy Walsy right me and daddy do this thing called beefs right where we're we tell each other what we're annoyed about and I'm telling you right now my beef with daddy this week is that he taught you a word that I don't like.

22:27What's he taught you? No. So what happens now? Every time I say, oh, what did I say? I said, oh, it's Christmas dinner at school on Tuesday. You could have that. What did you say? No. What should you be saying? No. No. No. So if the teachers ask you a question, the answer is no. What do you say? i'll do the i'll do the teacher ready rafie would you like christmas dinner for lunch today no thank you oh that see that's perfect well done but you can do it to dad so what do you say rafie do you want christmas dinner nah

23:11are you ever gonna eat christmas dinner nah

23:18nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah can we listen to it if you'd like yeah say bye everyone bye bye oh me burn man so oh I hate it I hate it everything nah nah why did you what have you done this for I don't know how I did that I don't know I don't know I didn't realise I'd done that well he said it's you because I said who says nah Who's taught you that? And he went, Dad. Ah, he's full of shit, man. He doesn't know who says that. Well, he said you. He normally blames my mom. Have you heard what my mom's taught him? What? If you ask him something, he now says, what's that got to do with the price of rice?

23:57But he can't really say it. He goes, what's that got to do with the price of rice? Fuck, fuck's sake. I can't really say it properly. So, yeah, so there you go. Wow. Well, my beef with you is... I can't think you could possibly have one because we had such a lovely time away. We had a lovely time away. We did. I know. I'm taking the pace. This happened last night. Oh. Last night, I was... We got the rest of the Christmas decorations out and we got it sorted. Yeah. Like, you know, when you've brought the boxes in from the loft and that, this stuff falls off them and glitter and stuff. And I was upstairs.

24:28I can't think what I've done. Well, I was upstairs and I had... I wrote it down straight away. I was furious. I was upstairs and I had Rafi in the bath. And obviously, I don't stray far away from him when he's in the bath at all. I was literally just at the top of the stairs and I could still hear him playing. So I shouted down to you. just thought the room that he was, the bathroom is near where we get the stuff out. So I thought, oh, just quickly Hoover it while he's in the bath. But I'm not going to come downstairs to get the Hoover because my son's in the bath. I'm not an idiot. Yeah, there it is.

24:52No, I just don't think this is a big deal. I said, Rosie, I shouted down. I said, Rosie, can you? Because I knew the floor attachment was on the Hoover. You know, the one where it's like a, it's a roller with the green laser and it shows you every single bit of dirt. And if I use it at Hoover for days and days and days, I can't stop because I keep finding dirt. I said Rosie will you take the hard floor attachment off the hoover and put the carpet attachment on and give it to Robin to bring upstairs for us what did you shout I don't know how to do that couldn't be ours right so okay listen was it selective incompetence or weaponized incompetence or whatever you called it the other day or do you actually not know what I mean well okay two things I was icked out because I thought what have we become that was just shouting up down the stairs can you change the adapter for the hoover and two I didn't know where the other one was right next to where the hoover is right well I didn't even look yeah it was yeah it was weaponising yeah okay played your own game sunshine and you know what felt fucking really good felt really good because actually normally I would have I would have done that and actually you could just wait till he gets out the bath to hoover it I had time to kill I wanted to do it then just I was Do you know what's really irritating, though?

26:09I was busy making the tea. But you wanted me to just dirty me hands and change the hoover head. First of all, no icked out, right? No, I was icked out because it's just what would life become? That is, domestically, that is one of the most enjoyable things you can do. No, I don't know. I go down there, I take the hoover off a toaster, I get down on the ground, I take it out, the little thing out, I get the other bit out, I check it, I put it back on, I pretend I'm a sniper. Right, that's good for you, but I just think like marriage and that and long-term relationships are gross. Yeah. Because, you know, when we first met, so exciting.

26:44It was so exciting. Dates, food and wine, separate houses and just like, oh my God, this is so romantic. Everything was special. And now we're just shouting, shouting down the stairs about changing Hoover adapters. And honestly, I'm fucking sick. I literally cannot believe that you sounded so enthused with dates and wine and food and then separate houses was another level. That's the thing you loved the most. Separate fucking houses. That was your favourite thing. No, come on though. I know what you mean. It is mad. But this is the thing. It's a different sort of love. Yeah. It's not lust anymore.

27:24It's like a love. But it's just sometimes... It's lust after a few drinks. Yeah, well, yeah, of course. But sometimes it's just a bit like, what the fuck is this? Yeah. Like... I know what you mean. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. What do you become? You just become... You just fucking do jobs. Yeah. But do you know what you've got to look forward to after this? What? You have got a one-on-one Chris Ramsey-hosted Hoover tutorial. It's going to be great. I'll show you all the attachments. And stop putting... Don't change the attachments. I don't like that one. Where you can see everything. I don't like it at all.

27:55It's for the hard floors. It does a hard floor. But it's not suction-y. It is. It's not. I disagree. I don't think it's as good. I would like the other one back on. You've just upgraded yourself to a Chris Ramsey-hosted Hoover tutorial and demonstration. Oh, brilliant. I'll bring me vibrator. I can't wait.

28:15I'll bring me vibrator. No, the Hoover vibrates. It's fine. I've got a tattoo. I've got a tattoo for that. Oh, gosh. It's disgusting. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. It's time for questions from the public. Questions from the public. Very good. as always if you'd like to get in touch and say anything at all it is shagmaridanoid at gmail.com please go so we bumped into someone backstage on this morning and she was like I've got emails sat ready to send you that I just haven't sent you I've got stories written out and I just haven't sent you anything that's sparked anything off any stories you've got any daft stuff send it in we absolutely love it and this podcast wouldn't be what it is without you people and again I just want to say thank you from the bottom of our hearts because we'll go on all these things what Ramesh has shown and this morning to talk about how huge the podcast is and it wouldn't be anything if it wasn't for you guys contributing and listening.

29:08So thank you so much. I agree. And now watching. So we really appreciate it. I totally agree. I don't want to over-egg the pudding. No, but it's mad. And part of the interview was you've been doing it for so long and it's like, yeah, but like, it's great because people still listen and we genuinely can't actually believe that you still listen. So thank you. And we actually might have some new listeners this week just off all that stuff we did last week. Apologies in advance. Apologies. Hello. Hope you enjoyed this one episode you're going to listen to. Just to let you know, sometimes I'm really happy, sometimes I'm really sad and it's my period.

29:37Oh, well, well, I wasn't going to mention this. I thought we were going to move on but I did write down a quote that you said this morning. I was standing making a coffee and you were at the other side of the kitchen and your exact words were, hey, when I'm not due on or on my period, I'm fucking class. Direct quote. I am. I dropped my knees. I was laughing that much. Just such an incredible little quote for yourself. No, I'm a joy to be around. Yep. I'm very productive yep I get loads of stuff done I will answer emails I'll answer texts everything yeah when I am due on or when I'm on I am not nice no not nice I hate my life hate everything so I hate you I hate you I hate you more than anyone actually when I'm on my period and I'm sorry about that and listen after the menopause apparently it all just becomes quite nice yeah but they're gonna be a rough little ride, aren't they?

30:30They're going to be good. But you're going to stick it out, aren't you? Well, I'm going to try my best. Oh, come on. Here's hoping. Yeah, no, you can do it. You'll be great. Okay. I mean, you won't because you take everything very personally. But just try, okay? Okay. Test and times. Oh, my God. What? It hasn't started yet. If I make it through, will you go back on that website and get me a trophy? Yes. Yes. I'll get you the glass black. It's 40 quid. Glass black. 40 quid. It's 40 quid. Your money. Your money. you pay your money we'll see nah okay nah love you thank you and it's not my fault it's periods I know it's not and I understand horrible and you know props to all women out there going through it as well lots of love right listen shut up hi she was talking to me she was talking to me apparently I wasn't allowed to give any props there I was told to shut up this is not a good week okay hi just wanted to share the immediate aftermath of my experience.

31:28I'm at... So this has just happened. Right. I'm out swimming with my daughter for her lessons. I got her changed and walked her through the pool and left my coat in the changing room. When I nipped back two minutes later, some little boy was sat bare arsed on it.