Please Keep Me Anonymous with Emma Doran

0:00Hello, welcome to Shag Married Annoyed. Please keep me anonymous. And this week we are joined by the hilariously funny and wonderful Emma Doran. We had a lovely chat with Emma. Such a good chat. Such a good chat. So funny. I'm just, I'm loving all these funny people, women especially that we're getting on. And I just feel like my mind's been open to all of these people. Yes. Now I'm going to go home and watch one of her specials. Because you came into this industry that we are in now, you came in kind of straight into the telly and the podcast. and you didn't do the years of circuit comedy that I did watching all of these incredibly funny women doing stand-up.

0:33And now you're getting to meet them all at the top of their game. I'm a bit jealous, actually. You're getting to just meet all these amazing comics at the top of their game when I'm coming in. She was, God, she was funny. Very funny. We had such a lovely chat. And dare I say it, she met with in possibly the weirdest circumstances ever because I walked in and what I do believe is quite a nice jumper, Emma was sitting over there. I walked in, you saw me and you went, ooh, and I thought you meant I love the jumper. And I did a little dance because I thought she loves the jumper. and it turns out you hated the jumper and Emma was witness to that entire thing and then had to do it.

1:00I can't look at it, I don't like it. You don't like the jumper? No, but we've done the show now. It's a tall film now, tall film now, I've got no chance to change the jumper, it's all been filmed, I'm wearing the fucking jumper. Have you done the dag off? Yeah, I'm not sending it back, I've worn it now, imagine sending it back and they've seen it on the internet, imagine how terrible that would be. You could just say you had a different size. Risu does with social media, you've just got yourself another new jumper.

1:24See, he's younger and cooler than me gets to wear the stuff I can't wear Emma's here chatting about a stand-up show that she is doing at the London's new Soho Theatre in Walthamstone on the 7th of November 2026 and we'll have a lush chat and it was just really loads of fun yeah so she's already sold out Leicester Square Theatre twice this is her biggest London show she's also got shows Dublin, Vicar Street she's got Belfast, Cork all over Ireland as well in her Autumn 26 tour tickets for our Waltham store and Ireland shows on emmadorancomedy.com Nice. Very to the point. Thank you. No, I meant the website.

1:59Oh, I thought you meant me delivery. Not you. Guys, like and subscribe on YouTube if you're watching this. That'll be massively helpful. Thank you so, so much. You can touch my hand now so I can stop talking.

2:22This is the jingle, jingle. We hope you like the jingle, jingle. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. Jingle. Oh God, I live my life waiting for this man. Yes. I swear to fucking God. And does he get you going? That's when my fellow's like, come on, we'll get going. And then he goes off and starts doing something. Oh my God. All I did, well, it's a bone of contention. He's always late. He's always late and I'm sat waiting for him. Faffing. doing bullshit and what's he doing now? What the fuck's he doing? What is he doing? He's chatting? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was testing out material earlier on. I could tell because he had a little audience and he was testing out jokes and I thought you can see your top and hurry the fuck up.

3:07Oh, here he is. Sorry. Oh. Oh. Who is this guy? You look... Okay. No, I do. It's lovely. I bought it for you. You bought it for us? I know. No, I like it. I've just not seen it on. It's a bit Dr. Evil vibes. Like... I thought you liked it when he came in. It's all right. This is all in here. It's all in here. Fucking hell. I thought you had a spark. It is? It's really nice. I thought you had a sparkle, but you had a... Oh, no. ...stay of them kind of... Did you think I was looking at them? I thought you had a sparkle. I was like, fair play. So you did a dance? Did you do a dance? You did do a dance.

3:48I'm so sorry. he's not here do you know what it is no I've never seen you in like a little polo neck it's nice I like it you had the sparkle because you were like get the fucking state of him look at him he's delighted with himself and he looks like an idiot that's why you are so happy in that gas oh my god I got thick skin I did a little dance I did a dance I did a celebratory dance all this is is that when I buy you your clothes for this job. You need to try them on. I need to see them before you wear them. But it's actually nice. So there's a, you know, you know, Matt Richardson. Yeah. Matt Richardson, the comedian.

4:29Should we watch them on TikTok nonstop? So, on his TikTok. I haven't seen his TikTok. So someone told me about it. Jason Cook told me about it. So he's got a TikTok where people don't ask him any question and he'll just tell he's quite honest and he talks about comedy and his career and stuff like that. And he said, I need to ring him because he said that there's a podcast where the two hosts actually hate each other but they're still doing it. Oh yes, because somebody asked about podcasts. Do you think there's people out there doing podcasts that actually hate each other and they have to keep doing it because the money?

4:59He says he literally knows of one. Well, after the jumper thing, Emma can start a rumour that it was us. No, if you were nice to each other I'd be suspicious. You know it's a marriage when you're slagging each other off. that's the love language. Of course. You know, I've been watching his videos. Oh yeah, he really, like he's just answering every question. Really? Oh, I'm going to have to have a look. I've never seen this. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, he was on the honeymoon answering the questions. What? Right, OK, I'm going to have to have a little spy on that. I love that. I watch a couple of TikToks where there was this bloke who used to work in TV in the 90s.

5:33Oh, yes, I know him. Have you seen it? With the cool glasses and the tash? Yes. I know him, yes. I can't remember his name. But he started now just telling loads of industry secrets from years ago, like Big Brother. I can't remember his name. Yeah, he was kind of like, he was hanging around Channel 4 and doing lots of stuff. And I remember on telly back in the day. Yeah, he's on. Yeah, isn't it funny? I love stuff like that. We don't know enough stories. So in like 20 years time, we can't be like, remember this? Because we're not in. Well, yeah, we don't know enough. But in fact, the ones I know, there's some that I know that are earth shattering, wouldn't bother telling like really, really, really, really, really bad.

6:10But then most of the comedy circuit stuff, everyone's heard all the comedy circuit stuff. Yeah, and it's all kind of boring and it's like, it's something that happened like 25 years ago. And it was just somebody threw somebody a look and you're like, right, oh yeah, the look. Okay, yeah, I remember. Or auditions, you know, because comedians, well, I find comedians were terrible if we audition. So you're like, actual actors are auditioning all the time. And then comedians might do an audition like, you know, once a month or something. And they'll tell you about my audition for that. But an actor wouldn't, they're just like, I just audition all the time.

6:44I'm like whatever That's the thing about It's throwing off shit Some sticks You hear like So many massive actors Get turned down for roles And you go like But it's the thing in an actor It's like you audition Audition, audition, audition You do 20 auditions You might get one of them Or you do 50 auditions You might get one of them Yes But comedians are so fucking precious Yeah You get one audition a month You don't get it You go I'm never doing it again And a month later You'll get another audition I've done like three auditions In my entire life Got one of them Didn't get the other two Thought I'm quitting I'm not doing that again Yeah I know I couldn't have this Comedians can't take no we can't take it no I don't think so but I sometimes think comedians make some of the best actors though because I think you're so aware of like you surround well well actually no what happened there was Rosie started Rosie started saying something that didn't apply to me personally and then changed it I saw there was a little knockout because I'm not aware of my surroundings because sometimes I can't read a room no but actually you are like now that I've met other comedians especially male comedians yeah You're all very similar.

7:42You are all very, very similar. Very similar people, not extrovert, like very much introverts, which I find surprising. But female comedians, I don't think are like that. I think they are different. Yeah. How would I compare a female comedian? It's tough, you see, because I suppose for a female comedian, you never have the thing of after a gig, men sliding into your DMs? No. No, they wouldn't. Why would you? You're too confident. You're too... Really? The odd one, but they'd be like, can I send you money for nothing or like feed pics? You know what I mean? It would never be... Sorry. Would you like to go on a date or something?

8:26Would you be offered money for nothing? Yeah. Right, Rosie, stop it. This is like when you heard about per diems. It is. Per diem. This is like, I would... Do you know when people hear about like sugar daddies. Yes. I would love a sugar daddy. You would be tempted though because he is saying like nothing. Yeah, nothing. They just like to buy you stuff. You don't have to do anything. Yeah. You don't have to do anything at all. You just get... And some of them like, I think, I think, I've heard, the nastier you are to them. So it's not even like that you have to respond or say thanks to someone.

9:01Oh my God. I take all that nastiness for free. You just let them send you money and you just say, fuck off. Fuck off. Yeah. It came, Is that all? Yeah, it came, that bag that you bought came three days late, dickhead. And I've already spilled coffee on it, so fuck you. That would give me so much pleasure. Wouldn't it be great? I would love to, now older down the line, I think like a dominatrix would be so much fun. Yes. Wouldn't it? Yeah. But then, I don't know. No, but one that did nothing. It was just kind of like there with a whip coat. That would be, yeah, that would be nice. for a little fox Stadia Stadia Stadia

9:44Stadia is the best Look at the Stadia I'm not doing anything I'm not putting anything in clamps or nothing I'm just going No I don't want to touch them No No it's gross It makes us feel ill actually But yeah It's kind of hard when you have to have the card machine And you have to go At the end No just tap it Yeah lovely Thanks But then Here's a question right I never thought I'd ask if you are Dominarics and you're like fucking steady and you're like having a right go at them and you're slapping them and you're spitting on them and that at the end when they're paying the card machine are you then giving good customer service thank you so much thank you there's your receipt yeah and then we book you in again can we book you in again yeah so is it you know hanging their coat up and all that when they come in is it all lovely and then does it go in or do they come in and you go you're fucking late you twat I don't know how it works I think you give them a coffee when they come into the waiting area and then when they come into the room like you stink a cop you stale cop disgusting yeah would you like a banana you've got banana breath you fucking pig yeah yeah I don't know why that would I'd be up for this no you would not having a dunder I'd be up for being nasty you could not have a dominatrix do stuff to you it would break you yeah it would break us I would yeah I would cry my eyes out it would really you would if anything you would strip us back to nothing no you would need like the like to motherage you would need or that end of the thing.

11:05Maybe the baby one. I don't want it. I can't believe I'm saying this. I don't want either of them. No, it is your 40th this year. This is why I said it. This is why. So we're planning my 40th, right? And the choices are, right, going to me head, baby, someone just cuddle us and give us some milk and let us have a nap. Or Dominatorix, nap and baby every single time. However, can I have a normal life or live that? I'll have normal, please. Right, okay. This is on film and audio and I've just said that. The only reason I've said this was I was like if I say this now they'll have to say something back let's see what they say.

11:43Or we'll run with anything. Now I seem totally normal and you're talking about being swaddled. Oh no, not, oh I'm not, no, you didn't mention swaddling I get claustrophobic I'm not being swaddled I get too hot. I kind of bit, you know, I thought I enjoyed a weighted blanket but I haven't put my feet out the bottom. I'm not getting swaddled you can fucking wind off. We'll let you peek a little couple of toes in. weirdly this is I'm to the piss someone listening out there this is the fantasy there's a man listening to this now who's just got himself an unsolicited erection and shame on you sir I don't have a fantasy and I find that really sad silenced I find silenced like oh silence oh yeah on your own no I mean like sexual like a fantasy sexual I don't really have any I don't know okay let's start talking about this Emma let's Emma let's see how good your media training is if we just talk about sexual fantasies for long enough and just see if you just blurt yours out and then we'll tell you we can't leave we'll have to leave it in I know I was kind of like will I say something will I I'm sorry right how long you been a comedian for Emma I have been how long you been a pervert Emma yeah Emma you are doing your biggest show yes London show ever at the Soho Theatre the Wathom store the new one yes Wathom store it is Wathom store yes I was actually there yesterday it's lovely yeah it's not on Dean Street anymore so there is a Soho Theatre on Dean Street the brilliant one that you know it's a bit of a hangout for comedians when they're in London and then there's this new one Oh that's good I had a little gander at it yesterday now I I think it was nice because I was outside my phone I was like I need a wee I was like oh chancer I went in for the wee nobody questioned me and I came back out so I was like that's kind of a touch of class there that I was able to go in use the toilet No one's like, do you want to get tea or what are you doing here?

13:35Everyone just smiled at me. And I was like, well. Trusting. It's a nice place. Toilets for clean. Good. Sorry. That's your review. Not sight lines. Not the seats. Not lighting. Well, I didn't go into the theatre. Not acoustics. All right. But you're already five stars already on TripAdvisor because they didn't question you went in for a piss. Wow. I mean, wow.

13:59I didn't go into it. Best venue ever. I have a gig here in like a few months. Can I have a look? I thought you were going to say, I've got a gig here in a few weeks. Can I have a piss? Can I have a piss? I do have a gig here in a few months. No, I just thought it was a nice vibe. That's good. Wonderful. So, no, I went and filmed a little video. But yeah, I'm really excited because it's my biggest one. So I did a few Leicester Square theatres. Beautiful venue. And I've done a few of them. Then I was like, go be try a bigger one. Ooh. So I'm excited. That's so cool. It's terrifying, isn't it? I've only started to come over here now in like the last couple of years.

14:35So, yeah. It is scary when you take that jump up to a next level of venue in any way. Do you know what I mean? Yes. Because do you not have that thing where you think, oh no, everyone who wanted to come came to them other ones. They've done it. Yeah, they've come now. Yeah, I've had that all the time. That's how my brain works. Yeah, it's terrifying. Yeah. Coming here now, I like, this is bad, but when I started coming over for gigs in the last few years, I hadn't been to London since I was 14 with my mum. we stayed in a hostel and I said that to people I was like I haven't been here since I was 14 and they were just like what the fuck is wrong with you they were just like you sap what do you do with yourself and I was like sorry I've just been poor I've just been poor so sorry well you've been very busy because you had you had a child at 18 yes which you fucking tried right in there I did look straight in there 14 no no because 14 we'll have to do an edit job on this the dominatrix and then I'm not dominator so all that has come around we're going straight from dominator straight to you're a child at 18 yes yeah so because but for us we waited we think we feel like we waited a bit late but it's that weird thing of like so how old's your daughter how old's your daughter now daughter she's 22 now amazing she's got a mate yeah she'll be 23 this year and she oh I'm like I'm obviously mad about her but she's like she's so funny she's a complete like it's grand she's a complete dry shite so she doesn't drink never has they don't nowadays has never smoked she go she's training for like a marathon she's doing a high rock she's doing a PhD shut up holy shit oh my god she said to me I'm thinking of doing a PhD and I was like yeah go on I'm going to do one with you what's a PhD and then I did that now what's she doing it in like what is it it's cancer misinformation Misinformation.

16:28They don't ask me any more questions. I have one line that I tell people. Okay. And then if they proud me more, I'm like, I don't know. So cancer misinformation. Yeah. So, you know, it's this kind of thing. This is my sentence. Okay, this is your line. So, you know the way if you read something online or whatever and, I don't know, say something, having rugs in your house can cause cancer. And you're like, that is a load of crap. But your brain, and you know that it's nonsense, but your brain later on will kind of keep that there. So if you hear something else about rugs and CancerLink, you'll go, oh yeah, I heard something about that, actually.

17:06So it's how you can give people, what's the best ways to give people information, the correct information in the right way. So she's doing like a real service. Do you ever see that scene in old school? Well, Will Ferrell is doing the debate and then he collapses at the end. And it's a bit like that. I'm like, that's all I know. So she's, she's really like, she's really like academic. Yeah. Like her, like, so when I did my last exam in school, I was pregnant with her. I mean, she did her last exam in school. In the same school, she got like the full points. Wow. So there'd only be like, you know, a tiny percentage of kids that would get like the full thing.

17:45So I feel like she's me if I had used all my powers for good. so she's like a little cherub it's a funny one though because I've got so at the minute I've got and I call them like my nieces but it's my cousin my cousin's daughter has had a baby she was 20 that was last year and then my other cousin's daughter she's pregnant now she's 19 I think so they're like young and it's funny because when I was thinking about it I was like oh my gosh they're young but then you know what they're young and they're active and they're like they know what they want and they'll be great mums and they'll love the kittens.

18:22There's part of me, we had children later on and I was 29 with Robin and 34 with Rafe and I was tired. Like genuinely. And that's still so young though. Do you think? Well, I just felt tired. And don't get me wrong, I've got another friend who had our first baby at 41. Yes, of course. It's so different, isn't it? But I wish I had been younger. I really do. I know. I think it was great for me in terms of like, I was always, what were you saying? like lively I had a bit of energy but I think I really I focused me so I think if I hadn't I think if I hadn't I had her I probably would have like fluted around for ages probably would have done a course dropped out probably would have moved to London and rode a whole lot of fellas and done drugs and come back and had a breakdown and you know I probably would have done all of that I don't know but you know what I mean I would have like she really put you maybe I should I should have had a baby at 18 yeah I got really focused I was like I can't piss about now I have to get serious So I did, I went to college after I had her and I was very academic, like not, but I studied.

19:26But I kind of felt like I had to tell the people that were only meeting me for the first time. I was like, this isn't really what I'm like. You know, because I felt like I was kind of cosplaying or something. But no, she really gave me like, and I think as well, you know, when you have kids, doesn't really focus your mind about what you're going to spend your time doing. You know, because your time that you have becomes really precious. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're right, actually. So, yeah, no, I think it was a good thing. Yeah, it was. Yeah, it's cool. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. You didn't start a business just to keep the lights on.

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20:45helping you quickly write, analyze, create, and summarize so you can cut through clutter and clear a path to your best work. Learn more at Microsoft.com slash M365 Copilot. K-Pop Demon Hunters, Saja Boys Breakfast Meal, and Huntrix Meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans. What do you say to that, Rumi? It's not a battle. So glad the Saja Boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day. It is an honor to share. No, it's our honor. It is a larger honour. No, really. Stop. You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side.

21:25A participant in McDonald's while supplies last. When did you start stand-up? At 29. Right. Yeah, so she was like, say, 10. And then I was, I had just had another baby. So in the 10 years, I'd met someone. We were having a great time or whatever. and I was like it was kind of a wake up call because I'd done like little bits of you know bits of perform but I'd be like God Scarlett like you know I want to perform like you know what I mean because it's in you was it in you I kind of wanted it but I was embarrassed that you know I was like oh God looking for the attention and all but I think when I was 29 and I was having my son I was like do you know what that 10 years went so fast I'm 29 now and I've only really done like little bits and bobs I was like I don't know if you had this realisation but I was like I'm going to have to put myself out there because I kept reading all these magazine articles about all these stars like it all just happened and you know I was discovered and somebody said do you want to do this?

22:29and I was like yeah and I was like that's grand I'll send out those vibes with my eyes and that will happen and then I was like I'm not good looking enough I have to be a comedian so I did I didn't mean I was saying yeah you know what I'm saying offence taken carry on when I went and did the first one and I fell in love with it I didn't know that would happen and I didn't know I didn't know anything about stand up takes you down it though only from TV I thought it would be like 8 Mile you know like Eminem you're cooking in the corner and people are mostly nice at gigs yeah well so I used to do did you start doing like gong shows and stuff where they're gonging off stage if they don't like you no we didn't have a gong show and dub them but it would just be like open mic do this you know 15 people on in the night kind of thing so I would do gong shows when I first started yeah and they would play the 8 Mile soundtrack before you went on horrible that by the way oh no way so yeah very sort of adversarial gladiatorial style back in the day like you're very much and then when you get to a gig that was quite nice and quiet and reserved and you're fucking shouting your material at them because you feel like the clock's ticking yes they would always get a little bit so then you'd have that's when you got good at like reading an audience oh yeah but yeah did it just get you straight away because it got me straight.

23:40After my first gig, I was telling people, oh, I'm a comedian now. It got me straight away. I'd say it took me a while to put it on the old Facebook bio, you know, comedian. Yeah. Oh, I made my MySpace comedy page the day after my first gig. I'm not even surprised. It's great though. It's so exhilarating. I got off chatting to comedians after the gig and they were telling me where else to go. So, you know, it was really like that thing because it was one of these nights where you all do however many minutes and then the audience vote who was the best and I won so I was like oh my god so I went home to himself and I was like I won and he was like fuck off but then I started getting obviously really into it and then a couple of months in he had to take me to one side and he was like sorry what the fuck's going on like I just had a baby I was in a pub three four nights a week I'm not getting paid for any of these gigs he's like what is happening he thought I was having a breakdown and I had to explain to him it's starting stand up It's a bit of a breakdown.

24:39Yeah. You know, so I had to say to him, no, look, if you get on well in this place, they'll get you in that place. And I explained the whole system to him. And he was like, okay. But I still kind of watched me like, but it's weird. It is weird. You're going off and you're like, it was an amazing night. There was 18 people. Jesus, I had them. I had them. And you're like, did you get paid? No. And I paid to get myself there and back home. but Jesus Christ I'm onto something here like it's isn't it right it is a mad little world I don't think it hasn't changed much either because my friend just started well I say just started she's about three years in now it's exactly the same isn't it it's still the same sort of vibe and still the same sort of stuff she's doing well now I'm properly interested in what you said there about how a man wouldn't slide into your DMs after a gig is that genuinely not because I always hear that men are more creepy or really creepy with female comedians which is obviously awful to hear Yeah, no, I don't think, like, speaking to, like, male comedians, the kind of, like, attention that they would get, or just to see after a gig and, like, you know, women going up to them and stuff.

25:48Yeah, all of that. But men are frightened of women comedians. I'm just there at the back putting my coat on going, what's going to get someone to talk to you? You know, I just don't think it's the same, which suits me. Good. I was never single doing comedy, which I think was lovely. Yeah, I understand. Maybe different. I don't get any attention from men. No one fancies me. I'm devastated about it. Actually, do you know what? It's that terrible. Devastated about it? Nobody is like, oh. It's terrible. You know, because if you grew up in a time where you'd be getting like, Wolf was living the one.

26:24And I was going past builders recently and I was like, what do you know? All this. One of them is about to lean over. I'm like, here we fucking go. And he just goes, mind your step. I was like, oh Jesus. I was like, he takes on my little granny. I was like, he doesn't want to assault me at all. Oh, sorry. He's now in trust. I kind of felt like, oh, actually lovely arse. Under this giant fucking couch. Do you know what I mean? I was like, oh God. Speaking of that, I was going to mention this on our actual podcast. Speaking of giant arse. No, no. Speaking of little old ladies, I was going to mention this on our actual podcast, but I'm going to mention it now.

26:58We were going into a hotel last night, right? And we crossed over from King's Cross and we'll go to the thing for the hotel. Don't you dare see you thought I was at love Yeah no I was Do you remember what you said last night With the guy It was ridiculous right So I carry the two suitcases up There's only about five stairs And the doorman's standing in the hotel And he went Do you need a hand I went no I'm okay And then she's behind us with one suitcase And he went You alright love do you need a hand Miss He went You okay miss do you need a hand And she kicks off when I over talk to people And over explain But last night The guy Not a bad looking bloke Dormans physically fit Quite a good looking guy She went He no I like to lift it always up the stairs myself I like to keep doing it so that when I'm 75 I can still do it and he went okay and I was like oh and that's why the one fan's it to me yeah his dick went I saw his dick go inside his body it went up like a dog's dick he is actually he's a good looking fella as well oh god no I like to do myself so that when I'm 75 I can keep doing it he must have thought Who the fuck is this woman?

28:03I think it's because so last year I fell down the stairs I hurt my back right. Sorry it's called it's called having a fall. Was it your coccyx? It was my coccyx. Yeah I knew it. I knew by the frame I was like she smashed her coccyx. Oh my god I've never known. I was pissed when I'd done it right. I fell down the stairs drunk because I'd been to the toilet. Have fun though. Honestly one of the best nights I've ever had. But I'd been to the toilet I'd undone my trousers and they were long anyway and they were sort of half down and I went downstairs for a drink and I just all the way down the stairs and then I was so drunk that during the night I remember turning and going oh god but I was drunk so I was asleep the next day I had to ring my mum and my sister to get us out of bed didn't I to put us on the toilet Chris was there but he couldn't do shit you were really mad actually you were like raging she was fucking hammered were you on the wine?

28:56she was on the everything I was on the everything so I was I'll give them a shout it was a pilgrim My mate owns Pilgrim in Newcastle. It's a new bar. And they do some of the nice, they do like a cosmopolitan. It's like really nice, but it's so strong. And it's tasty. And it was just like that. And I don't drink cocktails usually. I'm a wine person. I just drink wine and I'm fine. I could drink loads of wine. See, this is how we know you're a little L one because you have to give an explanation of why you were pissed. You're basically kind of, and I was on antibiotics and I went outside and the air just hit me.

29:28And I skipped lunch. And I wouldn't use to drink cocktails. Yeah, and I had Only at Christmas It's getting on the territory So You're almost at the territory Of I'd just have a sherry At Christmas Yeah That sentence is going to Fall out of your mouth One of these days And then it's fucking over Never, I love a drink But yeah, so I had me fall Last year And then from then on My back's just been a bit funny So I'm trying to do Everything by myself Hurts when it's damp or cold It has hurt more In the winter actually It really has So your back's a weathervane Kind of thing, isn't it? You're like There's rain coming Oh, it's going to snow.

30:02Yeah, so I'd just be... If cows are lying down or Rosie's back's hurting, it's going to rain. I did. And you know what? We took the kids' legend. We took the kids' legend. I didn't... I mean, kids were like, you're going to have a turn. I was like, mommy's back, I can't. And now I'm like that old woman with a bad back. I have to do something for it. I don't know. Do you know what I have? What? Have, you can get this cream. It's for cows' udders, right? Have you tried this? Is it for human consumption? It's called Richie's Rub. It's like a farming product and it's this big. And you hang it on a fence but you don't have to have a fence.