Please Keep Me Anonymous with Jordan North and William Hanson

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1:07Which I quite enjoy. And this week's guests were the fantastic Jordan North and William Hansen from the podcast. Help, I sexted my boss. There it is. Right, okay, I've got to apologise because we've just finished the recording. Uh-huh. And we had one of those drinks. What are they called? The drink a drink called... Gin and Dubonny. Gin and Dubonny. I swear to God, I am mortal. Rocket fuel. Absolute fucking rocket fuel. Yeah. Am I? We just had to do a mic check on these mics and I was just, I was just... What happened? I'm pissed. Yeah, so listen. Lush chat, by the way. Jordan and William, so good.

1:44I aroused William. You'll have to listen to it to find out or watch it to find out. They are taking the Help I Sexted My Boss podcast on tour in arenas. It's amazing because the first ever live show for it was in a pub in Camden, in the back room of a pub. And now they are doing London, Manchester, Cardiff and Glasgow arenas. Good for them. They're lush. They're really nice lads. Their podcast is so popular. It's nice to see nice people doing well. And it was a heck of a crossover. It was just lovely to have them on. I know we've got some similar listeners. So it's just amazing. Get tickets quickly because their last two has sold 15 ,000 tickets in just three hours, which is how many tickets is at an hour?

2:23Three. no I couldn't even say the name of the podcast I'm right 5 ,000 ticks an hour and I think it's on it's on sale now of course it's 5 ,000 5, 10, 15 alright enjoy like rate and subscribe subscribe on YouTube smash that subscribe smash that smash that button man smash that am I mortal I think I'm pissed I'm getting hot I've got flushes please

3:08I went and liberated the glasses from the pub next door. Oh, was it really? So much. That's really good. Is it good? Cheers. Cheers, guys. I'll warn you. Oh, the love doesn't clink. It's common. I find it very common. You're going to love him. you are going to love him I just know it clinking is coming yeah okay oh that's nice oh let me try hang on that's a relatively faithful gin and de bonnet I'll warn you it'll get you pissed oh or mortal what's in it gin gin and de bonnet and that's it so there's no there's nothing to dilute alright that's why it's ice why do they make it so big and it gets you a proper pissed Queen Mother lived to over 100 on these ooh it was the Queen Mother's favourite drink and we started it on our very first episode episode we were like we'll bring in a different drink every episode and then we had this just thought let's stick to this so we have it now we get so pissed and isn't this what you call your fan base gene divas i love that i love that what i was going to say though do you know what i really enjoy right there's certain little things in life where i go oh that was nice you know when you're at a long table everyone cheers and you just see someone at the bottom you go oh yeah like that and you just kind of lift your glass i'm not getting up you're not getting up you're not going anywhere So tell them if someone cheers to you, what's the proper etiquette?

4:21So if they say, happy birthday, Jordan, you're just meant to go. Yes, you never drink a toast yourself. So if it was your birthday, Rosie, you would go, you would acknowledge. Yes. But then don't sip. Oh. Because it's considered unlucky or superstitious. I used to. I don't even want to be in. So you just go that and then you put it down. I mean, it does seem a bit unfair. If it's your birthday, you can't drink. You can drink once the toast is over. Right. But you don't drink during it. But you don't. Wow. Okay. I did not know that at all. Honestly, I didn't need anything else to be anxious about in my life, but here's another one.

4:52Here's another one. Don't be anxious. Chris is always sober on his birthday now. No, you can drink the second the toast is over. So why is clinking common? Clinking the glass? So historically, why be clinking of drinking vessels? Do you know this? Was it to check that you're not being poisoned? So that it would spill into another glass? But they were wooden or metal tankards. They weren't glass. Right. So you could start smashing them together because they wouldn't really break. Okay. with delicate crystal glassware. Not that this is delicate crystal or, well, it's glassware, isn't it? It's from the pub, doesn't it?

5:23I literally went and borrowed it from the pub next door. Yes. We don't clink glass because it would break. Okay. I love it. I'm learning something new. I've actually, being in your presence, I've noticed that my body language has changed. Oh, excellent. For the better? For the better. Your posture is wonderful. My posture is better. Excellent. This is good for me because I've got a bit of wind right now. And there you are. and there's Jordan on his wingman I'm so glad we now know that Show Rosie how to do the Duchess slant so there's different ways of sitting and this is what they teach for the real family My colleague Micah came up with this term but it's a way to sit, I need to come forward a bit Normally when you're sitting on the edge of the chair if you're in heels you have your going one way and you have the key, and you'll be able to sit up like this you'll be able to sit up like this for a decent amount of time is have your bottom and your knees sort of parallel.

6:17This is how all the royal family, the female, says. All right, okay, I'll try it. You know what I'm fucking ski jumper?

6:24All right, okay. Yeah, I'd have your heels flat on the floor. If you see Kate on the telly, she'll be doing the Duchess Slant. Yeah, if you've got longer leg. Now, the late queen didn't do this because she was relatively short. So she sat differently. So you may not, the Duchess Slant may not be for you. I don't think I'll be practising the Duchess Slant. But it looks very elegant. Duchess Slant. not as one of my Rosie does the Rosie does the bog squat looks like she's having a shit yes we don't we don't teach that I've been looking forward to this all day oh it's so good to have how are your feet are you tired yeah I am but I'm not I'm not going to whinge I can't mention it because our listeners now like tell Jordan you know it's like when you read comments tell him to shut up about being whingy I'm a nurse I do 40 nowadays I'm like yeah fair enough oh no I used to no no no I've got your back I used to do the radio show and it's an absolute killer it'll take you but you're not digging up roads are you that's my saying that's what I say we're digging up Rosie did Capital North East did you do it with Bodger and Matt who did you do it I didn't do it with them they were just there before me they left and then it got taken over by Scarlett Moffat yes and oh it was Bodger Matt and Scarlett yes because my friend I'm really good friends with Jojo who used to do it yeah but then I did the drive time show with Martin Laws yes and then we used to do loads of cover for the breakfast show my first ever proper radio show was on Overnights on Capital North East.

7:46I went to Union Sunderland. Nice. Was Stuart Barry the the PA Yes. Yes, yes. So he gave me Was Spark at Sunderland. You went to Union Sunderland? Yeah. What did you do? I did TV and radio production. St Peter's Campus? Yeah. So did that? That's what Chris did. How old are you? Did you have a similar age? Union Sunderland. How old are you? I'm 35. Oh no, I was gone by the time you got there. Just by a year? I'm 39. Yeah, so I was gone. I did film and media Mac 101. Yeah. Yeah. No, I didn't know you went somewhere. I didn't know this either. This is so weird. Come on. Did Aaron Day teach you? Yeah.

8:17Aaron Day is one of my good mates. No way. Yeah. He's a top lad. Yeah. Super clever. Shout out Aaron. Yeah. Aaron Day was one of my seminar lecturers. Yeah, same with me. Yeah, but he was basically a couple of years ahead of me. And then he graduated and then came straight back to bed because he was that good. And then I didn't see him again for years. And then when me and Rosie first started going out, one of the first places we went together was Ashley, one of Rosie's best mates when she was a kid, Ashley's wedding to Aaron. No way. Aaron, they come round our house and stuff for dinner and stuff.

8:46Yeah. I started in 2008, left in 2011. I loved it. How weird is it that we're all quote unquote famous and we talk about celebrities as the cows come home, but we just went so high pitch and excited because we had the same lecture. And similarly, I bought a scarf from Finnick once in Newcastle. So there we are. It's just uncanny. it's this world this world I love Benny can I just say it's so fucking nice being able to have a conversation with Jordan without a fucking headphone on looking off at a light and just counting you out to put a song on it's actually really nice to have an actual conversation completely different on the radio you give me rad amounts of anxiety when we're on Capital with you because you are so like clockwork with it you're amazing but you look you're like you're shit in your pants because you don't want to go over time because I know sometimes you've got 13 seconds to say something it's nuts because you've got to do everything to times.

9:38That's why I love podcasts now. Because they just, yeah. Where do you do your podcast? Just around the corner. Five minutes away. We've literally walked here. We've just recorded. We've already had a gin and a bonnet. So we've just recorded ours. I'm going to be absolutely paralytic by the time we leave here. Enjoyed paralytic in a posh accent. Oh, I'll make you feel stressed when I was interviewing you. Every time. But it's fine. I love you. I'll let you go. Every single time. Do you know what it's like, Rosie? Chris gets really, you get really stressed very easily. But then also sometimes, but can't read a room as well.

10:07so something mega could be happening and Chris has no idea. So it's, you know. It could be like a fire in the corner of the room and I won't know. Yeah. If I've got something to promote. That's right. You guys are going on tour. Yes. Which is very exciting. Only a couple of weeks away now. Oh, is it? That soon? Are you doing the arenas? We are. Wowzers. Which arenas are you doing? We are doing, in this order, Cardiff, Wembley, Glasgow. Amazing. in Glasgow it'll be the best one of the two it'll be the best night it'll be the best one it's a good night out Glasgow and Manchester which is where we we're finishing where we started the podcast so the very first couple of series were done in Manchester so it's nice to go back and finish the arena tour my worst hangover was after Glasgow a few years ago because they made me down books nice he's saying they made me down no William they did he you decided it wasn't in the script there was some buck fast and you just decided oh buck fast I took a sip and then they were like down it and I was like no no no and we tried to move on to the next bit that we had and to the next skit and they were going to the point where they were all going down it and there's that hole in his head no as rough as our song but it's red wine Buckfast isn't it just for a list yes it's like a sort of a Scottish Dubonnet yes I guess but not as nice it's not a Scottish Dubonnet I've had Buckfast it's nothing like this she has a question which arena are you doing in Manchester AO it's a beast it's an absolute beauty I get terrible stage.

11:37Do you? I'm awful. I don't know how you just do it. You've got better over the years. Even, it was Jingle Bow Ball a few weeks ago, just before Christmas, and I was like shaking like a shitting dog. So I'm all right once I get on 10 minutes in, but I get it so bad. I don't know how you just do it. We've got different ways. I go really quiet. Before I do anything big, I go really reserved. I'm like, my makeup artist is always like, you just fill in your tank. I just can't say anything. I'm quiet. you are like fucking a toddler on crack like you're just all over the place so it's we're very different vibes and we're from the north east we've seen loads of toddlers on crack you're not from the north east are you?

12:19that's a perfect explanation I've seen so many toddlers on crack when I said it though I thought doesn't crack make you really chilled? I don't think we'd chill a toddler out no it's more like oh is it? okay well that's Chris no that's Chris So we're like a different energy Do you share a dressing room? Yeah we do Do you? Yeah we did What do you mean? That sounds almost like Jordan House I'm being surprised This is news to me I'm not being on my own You get the portable speaker And one thing that I can't stand is noise And when you're trying to compete with Whatever Tina Turner Or whatever you've put on the speaker Whatever the kids are listening I'm like you, Rosie.

13:03I want absolute calm just for half an hour before I go on stage. And then there'll be noise, hopefully, when you go out on stage. That's what we want. But all this sort of, oh, chat, chat, chat. Yeah, no, I agree. I'm really surprised you share a dressing room. Yeah. I don't know why. Especially if we don't like each other. We share one just because we're married. What did you say? Especially if we don't like each other. We're practically married. I can't be in on my own. I'd climb the walls. I'll be there. I'll be there with you. We'll just maybe not have Tina on so loudly Oh this is so sweet This is so sweet You started as an etiquette coach Well I'm still just about an etiquette coach I hope to finish as an etiquette coach Now you're an arena fill in podcaster And you just Radio, straight through radio One of the biggest radio shows in the UK Well so I was How we met was I was on work experience At Five Live I was working on like a late night show I was literally making tea, and he was one of the guests on the show.

14:02And I had to make him a cup of tea. I met him a brew in a chip mug, and he pulled his face, and I was like, what? Recollections, mate. This is how we met. And I thought he was like, because he looks, how he looks now, I thought he was like in his 40s and married to a librarian wife. He's a terrible judge of character. And then we said goodbye, and I showed him out and thought, I'd never see him again. And then my mate said to me in 2012, I lived with two mates who also worked in radio. They went, we've got a friend coming tonight. He's a bit posh. You won't like him. Just don't be rude. And she said to him, my housemate's a bit rough around the edges.

14:38You won't like him. Don't be rude. And it was a 2012 Olympic party. He came around and went, oh, we met a few weeks ago. And he took the piss out of me all night. And I've never laughed so much. And you took the piss out of me. I did, to be fair. I gave it back as good. And we were holding court in front of everyone, just giving each other shit. And I've never laughed as much. And I knew we were going to be friends because a week later, You took me out for dinner, didn't you? Yes, we went for dinner in Manchester, somewhere, I don't know if it's still there, on Dean's Gate. And Jordan ordered mussels for first cause, which I thought was a bit ambitious.

15:09But he ordered it anyway. And as they're prepared, you know, you order in any restaurant, you sort of order your food. They come and prepare the place setting, depending on what you've ordered. So they bring over the finger bowl, which is, you know, a glass dish of water with some lemons in it. And Jordan genuinely looked at it and turned to the waiter and went, no, I didn't order the soup. And he thought it was soup. god bless him god fuck off it's where you wash your fingers I've got a load of muscles that's what posh people do do you know in the movie Scarface there is a moment where it's a very very subtle sort of insight into the character yeah Tony Montana is in a posh place like that and they've got the the little ball with the lemon in and he takes the lemon out and he eats the lemon because he's from such a rough background I have not in Cuba that he doesn't know that that's just for washing your hands in.

15:59You are literally the North West's Tony Montana. And we've just been friends ever since, haven't we? And I was on local radio in Preston at Rock FM for Bauer and we used to get him on every once a week and he'd judge people's decorations. I'm still doing the same shit now. We had him on Capitol last week judging people's decorations before Christmas. People seem to accept us a lot more now than I did back then. He was hated around like people, like, who's that Bosch guy? Oh, no. Oh, I don't care. Good for you. If I wanted to be liked, I would have become a vet. That's always been my motto. They were walking soundbite.

16:37It's absolutely unreal. Where did you grow up? Bristol, just outside of. Oh, right, OK. Nice. Vicky Pollard and I are very similar. Hard to tell us apart sometimes. But, yes, Bristol, and then went to University of Manchester, stayed on in Manchester. That's where we met. Right. I love these backstories. I didn't know any of that. That's so cool. Yeah, it was only a friend. Our mate Stuart who's there tonight, who owns the production company that make it, he said to us, you should do a podcast. And it's been hugely successful and now it's doing arenas, which is amazing. Can you believe, we're similar, but I sometimes can't believe how big podcasts are now.

17:17Crazy. They're so intimate, aren't they? Because I think, you know, Okay, radio is great and there is an intimacy to radio that, let's say, television doesn't have. But podcasts, there is an even further intimacy because most people listen to podcasts on their headphones, on a commute or in the gym or whatever it happens to be. And so you are literally the voice in their head. Yeah. And I think you do build a connection. The few podcasts I listen to, you do build a connection with them because you're listening to them. Oh, my God. I listen. So I watch Real Housewives, right? I watch them all. Oh, all of them?

17:47All of them. I wanted it to be my specialist subject on the wheel, but there wouldn't let us. It's so fussy on that shirt. I will not hear a bad word said because I love Michael. He's so lovely, but I'm trying to get your actual topic on it. It's hard work, isn't it? I was like, I want to do Real Housewives. They were like, no. And then they were like, what else? I went, crisps. They went, no. And they were like, can you do podcasts? I was like, fine. I don't know that much about podcasts. The strong army is something you're actually not an expert on. So I listened to the Real Housewives podcasts.

18:18And I swear to God. They're a Real Housewives podcast. Yeah, so it's where the ex-Real Housewives talk about the show and the kind of like do. And I'm obsessed, right? But to the point where I keep messaging them on Instagram. You didn't tell me this. You're messaging the Real Housewives like a crazed fan. I am. Stop it. I am a crazed fan. No wonder you've ever been asked to host any of the reunions or anything. They've probably got a restraining order against you. No wonder Jamie Lack and Sophie are doing it all. no don't you I got my message when Catherine Ryan when I found out she was hosting the show I messaged her and I was like look I never ever do this but if you do any like live things or if can I come and she was like yeah I was getting up please really I want to come I'll come don't want anything I'll just be in the crowd I'm going to go to Vegas next year thanks for letting us know I'm the same with the Avalon who make your podcast I've just seen Daisy and I'm like when I met Daisy a few weeks ago I was like oh because I listen to Older and Wider with Jenny and Judith I love it it's my favourite podcast it's for women in their 60s I listen to it every night I'm going to watch them live as well at the time of recording I'm going to watch them this Sunday and I'm the same I love them but do you message them on Instagram I'm emailing Jenny Clare like oh my god Jenny's awesome she said I've never mentioned it you can come meet me backstage afterwards I was like oh my god but you do you really get into podcasting your listeners what I love and you'll probably have this as well listeners say to me I love it when they say this you go oh I don't really listen to podcasts but yours and that I'm like because in London everyone listens you're only four minutes away from a podcast recording aren't you yeah yeah that's true that's true first thing Jenny Aclay ever said to me when I was there I supported her once I picked her up in Manchester at the Malmi as an hotel never seen this before in my life I just got hooked up to a supporter because we're on the same management she got in my car she looked at us and she said you look just like my daughter

20:12literally the first word do you still look like her daughter I had longer hair at the time. Okay. No. Literally the first thing she ever said was, oh, you look just like my daughter. I went, hello. It was really odd. Really odd. But just so fucking funny. Does her daughter have stubble as well? I thought I looked quite madly at the time, but apparently I looked like her daughter. You didn't start a business just to keep the lights on. You're here to sell more today than yesterday. You're here to win. Lucky for you, Shopify built the best converting checkout on the planet. Like the just one tapping, ridiculously fast acting, sky high sales stacking, champion the checkouts.

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21:30That's why you Rack. Score more with the college-branded Venmo debit card and earn up to 5 % cash back with Venmo Stash. Got paid back? With the Venmo debit card, you can instantly access your balance and spend on what you want, like game day snacks, gear, tickets, and more. The more you do, the more cash back you can earn. Plus, there's no monthly fee or minimum balance. Sign up now at Venmo.com slash college card. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank NA. Select schools available. Venmo stash terms and exclusions apply at Venmo.me slash stash terms. Max$100 cash back per month. When we came in and sat down, William was saying he was working out what seat to sit in because he came in before you.

22:11Because I was on time. yeah oh wow yes because he was punctual so he said to which side he would sit on and then he just threw it up in the air there he said oh well I'll have to sit on this side because Jordan's deaf in one ear we don't know this yeah this is this is William's favourite story I said it was funny no basically well I find it funny is this going to be one of the things where they tell it and we're horrified maybe but I'm excited basically I've been deaf in my right ear since I was about 12, 13 I was putting my dog I was putting my bike away in the shed. I'll never forget. It's already such a northern story.

22:47And my mum said to me, she went, go and put your bike away. I'll get nicked. I was like, oh, for fuck's sake. She went, go and put your bike away. So I went downstairs and I put my bike in the shed. My ear burst. And I think I was so angry. I burst. And basically I've burst a blood vessel. It could have been an amourism. It could have been really. So I've been a lot there horrified. So I've been dead. You see, I just laughed. You were so angry. How the hell was he putting this bike away? I'm putting your back where you burst your ears. And typical of a month, for three weeks, she says it weren't, it were a week, for about three weeks, I'm going, mum, I can't hear in this ear.

23:21She's going, don't be deaf, don't be daft. She told me to the doctor, she's like, oh no, yeah. And then I had an ear. Unbelievable. I have got an ear in it, but I never wear it. Do you know what? I honestly thought you were going to see it. Because my brain went, this must be the most slapstick story ever. I thought you were going to see it. I was putting my bike in the shed and I fell in the prong of a ring. That would make more sense. You were so angry. I've told this story before and to be fair, an ear specialist DMed me and went, look, that's probably not how it happened. I probably should get it stuck in.

23:56I'm like, well, look, it's a funny story. He's like, look, I deal with a lot of deaf kids and I'm pretty unlikely that's why he went deaf. And I was like, no. I was putting my bike in the shed. Telling me to put this bike away. I wish I couldn't hear her see it. I was so fuming. and I burst a blood vessel because it meant to get out of my pit. We've got a 10-year-old and if he knew that he would literally try to get a burst so he could blame something else on. Do be careful when you're putting your bikes away. Yeah. See, I just leave them out and then Chris loses his mind. She had a horse at a hen do at our house and she's got all the bikes and put them around the side and they're pissing down rain and they were there for weeks.

24:33It's not my job. That's a blue job. That's your job. Don't move them out the fucking side out of the way then. I need you to see them. Do you have blue jobs in your house? As opposed to pink jobs? Yeah. No, we just have pink jobs.

24:48We probably should stop seeing that. It's probably massively like... What, blue jobs and pink jobs? Blue jobs and pink jobs. Well, it's just different jobs. I know it's 2026 now, but I still think blue jobs, pink jobs, isn't it? Yeah. Bins. Bins. Yeah. Bikes. That's actually what you do. What the fuck? Oh dear. No, we've been through this before. I sort out all the insurances, all the bills. I do all of that. Oh, bins, bags and bills. Bins, bags and bills. There you go. All right, B jobs then. B jobs, not blue jobs. All the B's. B jobs. We have a few of those in our house as well. Oh shit, I did an innuendo and I didn't spot it.

25:23It's the, whatever the fuck this is I'm drinking. He's the king. Everything's an innuendo to William. No, it's not. Right. We do have a lot in common. That's one thing. We've got this weird, we love old school, like 60s, 70s British sitcoms as well. Put an episode of I being served on and we're anyone. Oh, nice. And not many people our age would like, quote, are you being served? Or what Keeping Up Appearances, which women's obsessed with. Oh, my gosh. You do a podcast about Keeping Up Appearances, don't you? Yes, I do. Yes. We've sort of finished talking about all the episodes because they're only 42 criminally.

25:53Wow, she's dead now. And she's passed away now, yeah. She died last year. So we've moved into other stuff. But yes, it started off. Five series we did. What about One Foot in the Grave? Love that. We were talking about that today. They had the same sofa, Hyacinth and Victor Meldry. had the same sofa because it was filmed at the same time and actually if you look at the floor plan of the set of Victor and Margaret's house and Hyacinth and Richard's it's basically everything in the same location because BBC television that's like they felt incredibly similar other than Victor and Margaret's is a two story and Hyacinth is a bungalow he is a little question for you what's the phone number 4291 when he picks up the Victor and Meldrew's phone yeah 4291 Meldrew yeah exactly I went into It's all about kids in the 90s This is so nostalgic You had to watch telly with your mum and dad And you ended up watching it I went into Hyacinth's house The actual house In Binley Woods in Warwickshire Just outside of Coventry We were filming something at the start of last year And the owners who still own it And owned it at the time Were like yeah do you want to come in Then going inside Hyacinth's house Everything's like no no I'm sorry No, the kitchen isn't here.

27:06I didn't know who this is. Yeah, we went in. That's crazy. I've got other stories I can tell you off microphone. I hate known secrets of telly. It didn't ruin it. No, it ruins everything. I can't watch a TV show now. When you did Heaven, that's when it really ruined it for me. Right. Because we went and the house, they only ever shot the front door and then the rest of it was studios in Manchester. all of the rooms every single room was a studio it was not a real house and I was like what do you mean what do you mean this is this is it and then she took it really badly and there was lights being shone through like for the sun and I was like this is just ruined that light that was the sun I used to go and stand in front of that and have a cup of tea on the afternoon it was so lovely warm so lovely warm did you ever go and watch him strictly because that's a long record have you done strictly I've not done it but god I've never been to one of the records but you get a pack of biscuits and a bottom That's put me off going.

28:03I would never stay for the second bit. Well, you did. Yeah, yeah, but I was on there. But I'm saying if they went me, if I had to go and watch, say Rosie did the series, I wanted to go and watch someone, I'd say I'm watching, I'm not sitting there for the results. That's what I can tell. It's about a six hour day. It is long. I once, when we went to watch you, do you remember when I spilled a glass of wine on us? Yeah. Full glass of white wine. I had to sit with a wet dress and I stank a wine. And then Anton DuBois' wife, who's very posh, you get along, right? I mean as I think case in point I get on with a lot of people No no but you really get on with it And Anton and I have the same hairdresser Oh well there you go And she was lovely but I could tell that she was like You stink of wine So I had to say like I've spilt a full glass of wine on this I'm dripping wet and I stink a drink I'm sorry And I'm Chris's wife The hardest bit about that is you already stank of wine Yes one of it And then you sucked bottle on yourself as well Which is so bad My sister's never let us forget that.