Please Keep Me Anonymous with Maisie Adam

6:05Chris Ramsey:Oh, nice. Do you talk about exes in front of each other?

6:10Rosie Ramsey:Yeah, if it's relevant, I don't think I'll just like start. Don't just bring it up. Tell you who I miss.

6:18Chris Ramsey:Yeah, passion. it's just something that always comes up in our life because we know people who would never ever talk about exes.

6:27Maisie Adam:Yeah.

6:28Chris Ramsey:I think that's odd.

6:29Maisie Adam:I know. That's a bit of a red flag.

6:29Chris Ramsey:And we sometimes do because it's like that. It was just part of my life. It's part of your story. You know, part of your story. But then there is people who we know, like friends of ours, who I have no idea. Like all I know is them with their husband. And I'm like, who else?

6:43Rosie Ramsey:Or if like somebody brings up their ex and you can see the partner get visibly uncomfortable and it's like... That's funny. They're not here now. Yeah, I know.

6:51Chris Ramsey:I know. They don't, yeah. Although where we live.

6:54Maisie Adam:They weren't born and then handed to you. Yeah. They had a life before you. Yeah. And they'll have a life after you.

6:59Chris Ramsey:They're probably at the school drop-off where we live. It's such a small place. Very incestuous.

7:04Rosie Ramsey:My husband, when I met him, he worked in a cocktail bar. That's how we met. Nice. He was working as a waiter in a cocktail bar? He was. He was working as a waiter in a cocktail bar. I knew you were going to say that. And we, oh, it's a running joke. Yeah. I think he started his groom's speech with that. Brilliant. Great. like working in hospitality, a bit like the comedy industry. There's a lot of internal dating and stuff. And there was a good while when we first started dating, like if we went to a bar, I could just tell by the way a waiter or a person behind the bar would be, just like with Mike, and I would go, you've slept with her, haven't you?

7:47Rosie Ramsey:Yeah, and he'd be like, yeah. what you can just tell you know what I mean you know you can just like okay

7:55Maisie Adam:yeah like give him his pints yeah just put your spit in it hand him it so you knew

7:59Rosie Ramsey:but also it's just some few weird signs but like because they're all moving amongst the different restaurants and bars as well like there was a restaurant that opened and we were so excited to go and we'd got this table and then the woman came over to take our order and she was like oh hey you and he was like oh hello are you okay and I was like yeah And I was just watching it happen and then I was like...

8:23Chris Ramsey:Oh, God.

8:26Rosie Ramsey:He's just like, yeah, just what do you want for your starter? That's never happened to us. Has it? Do you get nervous if you have to bring them up?

8:37Maisie Adam:No, we wind each other up about it. Whenever I mention it, I always say God, I miss them. I always prefix it with God, I miss them. And it's always... It's fine. It doesn't bother me in the slightest.

8:47Chris Ramsey:None of mine were that bad. They were all quite cunning. Yeah.

8:50Maisie Adam:Rosie had a massive, you won't know this, but Rosie had a massive kickoff.

8:55Chris Ramsey:Not a massive kickoff. When we got engaged or when we got married,

8:58Maisie Adam:she wanted them to turn up and beg her not to do it.

9:01Chris Ramsey:Oh. Big ghetto blaster over their shoulder. Not a DM or nothing. Not even like a, oh. You want to be the one that got away to at least somebody. Always. At least one person.

9:15Maisie Adam:Turns out she was the one that wouldn't fuck off.

9:19Chris Ramsey:They were all looking at your wedding photos going, fine, Luke. I actually think there's probably a lot of men in South Shields who go, like now that we do what we do, and they'll go, she was a fucking nutter. About me. I do, genuinely do. Like, oh my God.

9:33Rosie Ramsey:I grew up watching Corrie all the time. And I think that sort of gave a weird, it misrepresented how common it was to have somebody crash your wedding and declare their undone. This is what I mean. Do you know what I mean? That really made me think, oh this happens all the time yes this is the thing there's even a bit when I was saying my vowels I thought any minute now that bloke from year 10 is going to storm through going wait stop your wedding

10:01Maisie Adam:so I always I always very loudly clear my throat at the does anyone have any reason why the show I just always

10:08Chris Ramsey:it never gets over now does it just let them know I'm always on I know I'm only there sat next to you just let them know

10:14Maisie Adam:I'm there and it's what I do are you sad

10:17Chris Ramsey:I'm going to a wedding next week. It's our friend's wedding. And Chris is working so he can't go. Are you good? No.

10:23Rosie Ramsey:I love a wedding. It's my brother's wedding this Saturday. I love a wedding. I'm so excited. I'm at that point in my life at the moment where they're every month.

10:32Chris Ramsey:Oh, see, okay, we've been past that. Well, we passed that a while ago. We had five in one year. Oh, God, yeah. And the hens.

10:39Maisie Adam:Dare I say it? Dare I say it? I've got mates my age getting married now and I'm like, fucking grow up, man. Like, what?

10:46Chris Ramsey:what do you mean

10:47Maisie Adam:I'm like I'm annoyed like I'm annoyed like I can't say well he listens to the podcast to be fair but I've got mates getting married now and I'm like really I've got to go why like we've done this everyone's done this why are you doing this now

11:01Chris Ramsey:you've missed your chance

11:03Maisie Adam:yeah

11:03Chris Ramsey:we're nearly 40 now so he's too old

11:05Maisie Adam:but as well it's my 40th this year and I want to do a load of things but he's got a stag do and he's like oh it's my stag do and I'm like fuck what I want to go and play golf for my 40th I imagine stag do's

11:13Rosie Ramsey:hit different at 40 than they do

11:15Maisie Adam:oh it'll be a few pints and a curry I hope yeah I'll not be involved in the let's stay up until the early hour oh I know who it is

11:21Chris Ramsey:I've just clicked yeah yeah he listens to this

11:23Maisie Adam:you know what he's lovely I love him to bits he's religious and you can't wait can you you can't wait no no no I'll tell you your face I'm irritated by it

11:31Rosie Ramsey:well good luck

11:32Chris Ramsey:at that wedding good luck got raining in would you

11:35Maisie Adam:alright maybe take the last bit out

11:37Chris Ramsey:no you've beat your back on tour this is what this is this is tour Chris really there's a question for you what does a tour Chris

11:42Rosie Ramsey:and a non-tour Chris

11:43Chris Ramsey:oh my god tour Oh, Maisie. Okay, are you like this, right? Because Tua Chris is arrogant, selfish, demanding. All the demands. Very, like, just expecting everything straight away. Yeah. And normal Chris is actually all right.

12:02Maisie Adam:Can I just rebrand Tua Chris? He's confident. He's a go-getter. He knows what he wants. Yes. He doesn't take any prisoners. He's arrogant.

12:11Rosie Ramsey:Well, I can already hear what my husband will be saying if he was sat with me and it would be, yeah, there's tour, Maisie, and non-tour. I think it's just that, like, you're so kind of, like, babysat on tour, aren't you? Yeah. Somebody's there to, like, tell you what time to arrive. They've got stuff in the, like... Order your food. In the green room for you. They turn the lights on when... And then they literally sometimes give you a little point to go on stage. Like, you don't know. Like, well, the music's gone down and they've said... There's that be name. Yeah, the video's going and they're going, off you go.

12:42Rosie Ramsey:it's like it is no different to the teachers going it's your line now at the school nativity when you're five but um i also think there's that thing of like when you're like i don't know if you're if you do your tour the same way but like some people like to do it two three dates a week and they'll be touring for months on end yeah i'll try do mine like five six nights a week

13:03Maisie Adam:no just get yeah like quite intensive i'm the first iteration of that yeah only recently

13:08Chris Ramsey:only this tour when I first met you and you were touring you were away all the time

13:14Rosie Ramsey:but it then means when you get that one day off I think I can be quite like this is what I want to do on my day off and I need to feel relaxed I remember the first time I started touring Mike, bless him, he'd book that restaurant we've wanted to try or that it was really weird, he was really specific about which waitress he was or like, I don't know Like all that film that we wanted to go see. It'd be like that. And actually for the first few days off, I was like, that's nice. And then after like the fourth week, I was going, please don't book anything. What I really want to do is sit on the sofa in my slacks and watch like a shiny film.

13:55Rosie Ramsey:Yeah. And eat like a dirty meal. Yeah. Oh God, yeah.

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15:17Maisie Adam:So go build your dream team today with Indeed. Get a$75 Sponsored Job Credit at Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Listen, I have to ask you about your injury, right? I'm just obsessed with this. I heard it through the grapevine. so you did the wrestling the comedians the clash of the comics wrestling have you seen it

15:39Chris Ramsey:I saw it online a lot and I there's another person who hurt themselves really bad yeah Abby Clark

15:45Rosie Ramsey:Abby Clark's done her ACL

15:46Chris Ramsey:right

15:47Maisie Adam:oh my god ACL ACL

15:49Chris Ramsey:that's bad

15:50Maisie Adam:a year probably

15:51Chris Ramsey:can you stop tell us though tell us about it to people who don't know for anyone who doesn't know

15:56Maisie Adam:it's wrestling it started at the end of my fringe years ago and they just decided to do like WWE style wrestling but with comics so it's all the trash talk and all that but you actually do the stuff.

16:05Rosie Ramsey:Yeah, totally. So I'd seen it at the Edinburgh Fringe and thought it was fantastic. And they go really big on it because it's, well, it's wrestling. So it's really kind of like big characters, big music and sort of, it's really silly. And I remember watching it up at the Edinburgh Fringe and loving it. And then they asked me to do it. And like the process of learning was great.

16:25Maisie Adam:How long is that process? How much rehearsal and stuff? Because the first time it was, it happened, I remember thinking, they've just cobbled this together. How have people got time?

16:33Rosie Ramsey:I think I did about six to eight weeks. Wow. I went to London and doing a two-hour session with this wrestler. Her name is Sam and she was absolutely fantastic. Her wrestling name is Nina Samuels. And I remember she was about five foot five, so she was a lot smaller than me. And the first time she and I started some of the moves, I got it wrong and sort of elbowed her. And I was like, I'm so sorry. Did I hurt you? And she just laughed. Wow. yeah you can't hurt me she was so she was like five foot five but she could lift me and all of

17:05Maisie Adam:that so strong that's the thing because people always say wrestling's fake wrestling is not fake wrestling is staged yeah it's like it's like saying dancing's fake it's not it's just choreographed

17:13Rosie Ramsey:so it was like a dance routine in that like you you know already if you're going to win or lose and they're doing right then you go here then you do that it's literally like a dance routine and i loved the learning to do it and and like uh learning all these different moves and learning all of these different kind of techniques. And it was like a really fun process to do. And then on the day, it was at the Apollo, and we were the first fight of the night. And I guess it's maybe just like adrenaline on the night as well, but all the moves felt bigger and harder. And is there an audience there?

17:51Chris Ramsey:Yeah, yeah. 4 ,000 people sold out. Jesus Christ.

17:54Rosie Ramsey:And it was the last move where she basically like lifts me right up and slams me on my back. Stop it. And we'd done like smaller versions of that. And the advice was like, don't like just wait till the day and do it. Cause like, it's going to be painful. I'm saying this now and I'm like, yeah, probably should have practiced it more, but it was one that we practiced on a lower level, but it was like on the day, let's just do it. Classic.

18:18Maisie Adam:I'll do it on the night. Yeah. Right.

18:19Rosie Ramsey:Put me up in the air and I landed on my back. And like the moment I landed, I was like, that, that isn't. Did you land on a mat? No, just like on the floor. It's canvas, but it's slightly sprung. No, but it's not nice. It's sprung in the same way like a ballroom dance floor is sprung. It's still not something you'd want to land on your back on. So what happened? And I remember thinking that I'm not good here. And the ref came over and was like, squeeze my hand if you're okay. And there's 4 ,000 people there. So I was like, squeezed his hand, got up, and then like felt how hard it was to walk. but I knew I was like the whole thing was that I'd lost so I didn't really have to like act because I was hobbling off like looking dejected did you want to fiend well I came off and said I need to see a medic I could I'd sat onto this chair I couldn't move and then I knew I was going to pass out because the room started sort of like blurring and spinning and so I was sort of trying to chat and then the next thing I woke up and I was on the floor and they'd like elevated my feet they're on the phone to the ambulance and because it was London on like a Friday night they couldn't get an ambulance because they were basically going is she conscious which I was now is she breathing you're going to have to just drive her to A &E so I went to A &E I had an x-ray I remember the bloke he x-rayed me from above and he was like hmm and then x-rayed me from the side and went oh yeah there it is and I've just like torn three ligaments in my back and I've been having physio for like the last 12 weeks and it was it was really rough because like your body's it's one of those things I mean you were just saying that you've been under the weather with a cold and it's like that because you're kind of like you know when you start remembering what how great your body was when it was 100 % and you start being jealous of all the times that you could walk and it not absolutely kill and like again about like days off from this mad job my favorite way of like relaxing and and kind of my thing that sorts my head out is playing football like that's my favorite thing yeah to sort of switch off and i haven't been able to do that for like 12 weeks it was just like it was just really brutal and i probably don't ever want to wrestle again no which was such a shame because it was such a good fun experience learning it but i've never had pain

20:38Chris Ramsey:like it there's so many things in so i find this job that we all do a bit insane right because we got asked to do a TV programme and I don't want to dig out the TV programme. This is it, as I'm being careful with what I say because I don't want to dig people out. No, absolutely not. And you know what, it's up to everyone what they do. But we got offered to do that, where it was like world's dangerous

20:59Maisie Adam:The Most Dangerous Roads. Oh yeah, that one. Hadn't you done that? Yeah, I did it in Morocco.

21:03Rosie Ramsey:Why the fuck did you do that? Our roads were really not dangerous at all. But then I've watched other people's and been like bloody hell. I think the one I watched it

21:11Maisie Adam:was Darlow, Brian and Ed Byrne, I think. And the one literally on a cliff.

21:15Chris Ramsey:Yeah, I said, no, I was like, I won't even get in a helicopter. I think it's a real lottery which one you get.

21:20Maisie Adam:But we're parents, we're married and we're both, so it's like, do you both want to go and do the most dangerous road in the world? Yeah. And leave both your children?

21:28Chris Ramsey:Where if it goes wrong, you're not here anymore. Absolutely not. Exactly. I'm just a wimp. And then you remember all of the things in the past where it's been like celebrities are just doing TV programmes and they're really dangerous. What was that one? The jump? Do you remember that? Ski jump one. Yeah, where they all broke their legs. Yeah. Do you want to come and break the legs and break the coccyx and all of this?

21:47Rosie Ramsey:And it was like, yeah. So some of them I think they go too far.

21:50Maisie Adam:I think they go too far. And I think it's like they're just set up to fail.

21:55Rosie Ramsey:Yeah.

21:56Maisie Adam:Like, do you want to learn a massive ski jump?

21:58Rosie Ramsey:Absolutely not. In what world is some reality star going to absolutely nail a ski jump, which is only ever done by people who've been doing it since they were like nine. Exactly. Under professional coaches and stuff. It's insanity. Do you remember when Dancing on Ice first started? That's a similar one. I had such a cool memory. I was being babysat when I watched it. That's how long ago it was. Right. And I was like, I'd stayed up to watch it and Bonnie Langford was swung round by her feet in training and she bashed her head. And I was like, she's, with all respect to Bonnie Langford, she's too old to be like, being flung round.

22:33Rosie Ramsey:Yeah. And her head, I remember that. Was that head or a chin? Maybe a chin.

22:37Chris Ramsey:No, it was something.

22:37Rosie Ramsey:It was something where you were like, that's not something you just walk off and go, oh, I'll be all right. Put a wet paper towel on it. I'll be fine. One second, Maisie.

22:44Maisie Adam:Sorry, your chin's on your head. Carry on.

22:48Rosie Ramsey:I meant like the top of my head or chin. It is like, there's definitely certain TV companies or like shows where they're like, oh, it'll be fine. Yeah. It'll be fine. And if they die, it's content. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? More downloads. Everything's content. It'll be fine. Make it into a reel. It'll get reviews.

23:08Chris Ramsey:I'm such a wimp. Hashtag for you, Paige. It is all good. Thoughts and praise. Thoughts and praise. oh man you are you're on tour it starts in September it does What a Face oh I love that

23:19Maisie Adam:What a Face is good thank you

23:21Rosie Ramsey:I thought it was a good that's really good I thought it was a good title because very northern yeah What's Her Face and it's all like kind of it's what you say when you can't remember somebody's name yeah I love that I like that and then I did you know those you know when you do those days to sort of like chat to different radio stations to plug your tour yeah two of them were like we've got comedian Maisie Adam on after the break she's going to be here talking about her new show What's Her Name I was like it's deliberately about being unable to remember someone's name. Ironically, you've forgotten the word for when you forget someone's...

23:53Rosie Ramsey:Oh, never mind. That's the way we do it.

23:56Maisie Adam:There's nothing worse than having to go on and explain your show dead quickly. I can't bear it.

24:00Rosie Ramsey:When you've got 30 seconds and they go, so what's it about? And you're like, at the moment, it's about two pages of material that might work. Because what you have to do is come up with the title a good year in advance of going on tour. and they go, what's it about? Because they want it to be about something. Yeah, it's got to have a narrative in it. What's it about? What is it about? What's it about? It makes me really feel sorry for like, musicians must get sick of that. What's this album about? You must want to go, I've just made some sounds that sounded good in the studio and picked the best 12 and put them on an album.

24:32Rosie Ramsey:But instead you have to go, well, it was about a breakup and then it was about life.

24:38Chris Ramsey:Have you seen the new Take That documentary? No. Did you like Take That? Back in the day?

24:43Rosie Ramsey:Yeah. A bit young. I was more Robbie. Right. I was born in 94. So I kind of... Yeah, like, because I think you had to be a teenager in the 90s to love Take That, whereas I grew up with Robbie being a heartthrob. But I didn't know he was in a boy band until much later. Oh, wow, okay.

25:03Chris Ramsey:So my sister loved Take That, and I'm, like, three years younger than my sister. Yeah. So I knew who they were, liked them, like their songs but I didn't fancy them does that make sense? yeah yeah yeah but I love you respected the art I did honestly it's like the way they're dressed forever yeah but obviously I love them and then other boy bands came about that I was a lot more obsessed with

25:27Rosie Ramsey:which ones were you obsessed with? Five

25:29Chris Ramsey:Five? yeah Five Scott from Five listens to this does he? yeah he might not now well he used to

25:36Maisie Adam:he listened she lost it when we found out really? can you imagine? yeah

25:41Rosie Ramsey:Is that who you, when you think you want people to burst through and go, don't marry it, it's not the Greek boyfriend.

25:47Chris Ramsey:It was 19-year-old Scott from five.

25:52Rosie Ramsey:Still with his gelled hair. Stop!

25:54Chris Ramsey:Pick me. Him or Gareth Gates?

25:57Rosie Ramsey:Oh my God, Gareth Gates, the hold Gareth Gates had on me. Really?

26:02Chris Ramsey:Yeah, he was lovely, wasn't he? Yeah, yeah. Oh God, so good. Who did you like, fancy, when you were a kid?

26:09Maisie Adam:Jet from Gladiators.

26:10Rosie Ramsey:Jet from Gladiators was a good one Jet from Gladiators

26:13Maisie Adam:Mimi and me were obsessed with Jet from Gladiators

26:15Chris Ramsey:Kylie Minogue?

26:16Maisie Adam:No

26:17Rosie Ramsey:Really?

26:18Maisie Adam:Yeah, no Jet from Gladiators And remember Mimi and me were obsessed with Jet from Gladiators But the two, can you remember the two?

26:23Rosie Ramsey:Yeah

26:23Maisie Adam:It was Jet and Lightning Yeah The two ones And we used to just like obsess at school playground I've never told you this We used to obsess about Jet from Gladiators And then he decided that because I was blonde at the time And he had brown hair That he was Jet His girlfriend was Jet and I had to have lightning.

26:42Rosie Ramsey:This thought process, I've had that thing. Me and my friend really fancied Zach from Saved by the Bell and Mario Lopez, what was it? Slater. Slater. Yes, oh my God. Well, I was blonde as a kid, so I'll have Zach. You can have.

26:59Maisie Adam:Well, as the person who had the other one forced on us as well, fuck you, because that is really upsetting. He was like, and now I look back and thought it was a lightning and I think literally 10 year old me was like no love, no not for me

27:11Rosie Ramsey:sorry love

27:12Maisie Adam:you'll have to join the queue lightning

27:14Chris Ramsey:back off, back off lightning I loved Zach from Zero by the Bell when you want your spring break to feel like and your kids pool day to feel like and your hotel bed to feel like ooh and room service to feel like Because at Hilton, hospitality feels like...

27:40Rosie Ramsey:Your cabana's ready. Would you like fresh towels?

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28:18Maisie Adam:Go to your happy price. Priceline. Spring is here, and there's a whole new way to chai at Starbucks that's made perfect for you. Choose your sweetness. Dial it up. Or keep things light. Add a touch of pistachio A hint of strawberry or vanilla Or make it a spring classic with lavender

28:37Chris Ramsey:Because this season There's endless ways to chai At Starbucks Babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo Isn't it mad how much when you're a kid How much you're fancy boys

28:48Rosie Ramsey:I think it's because you don't really know What it is that's happening Like the chemistry And so you're just like Oh I really really like that person I'm just going to invent a life with them and it's definitely like just I was so convinced at age 8 that I would end up marrying Zach from Saved by the Bell

29:06Chris Ramsey:it's tragic isn't it

29:07Rosie Ramsey:yeah

29:07Chris Ramsey:although there is some people go like crazy crazy I was never that bad I was never that bad but I had to do a hotline man when Take That Split I was a boy's own when one of the bands split up they had to actually make a hotline that teenage girls could ring because they were so upset about it yeah wow

29:28Rosie Ramsey:I felt a little bit like that when Zayn Malik left One Direction.

29:31Chris Ramsey:Oh, were you a One Day fan? I was a big One Day fan.

29:34Rosie Ramsey:Oh, were you really? Massive One Day fan, yeah.

29:36Maisie Adam:Wow.

29:37Chris Ramsey:I feel like you would have been a bit too old.

29:39Rosie Ramsey:Were you not a bit too old for that? Did I go and see them live for my 21st birthday present? Yes, I did. Okay. No, I like it. It's not weird because they're the same age. This time it's a genuine pursuit. There's a chance. Yeah. There's a chance. Zach Morris lived in a different country and crucially, it wasn't real. Yeah. As in the character. Yeah. Whereas - More attainable. Yeah. Who was your favourite, Zayn? Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Have you met any of them? It was Yorkshire. Yeah. Done Soccer Aid with Liam and Louis. Oh my God, did you do that? Yeah, I think I played it cool. Did you? Yeah.

30:17Maisie Adam:Yeah.

30:17Rosie Ramsey:You're right, yeah.

30:19Chris Ramsey:Yeah, nice lads. They seem nice. Yeah. Were they nice? Yeah, lovely. Oh, good. Very nice. That's good. Yeah.

30:25Rosie Ramsey:You don't really remember it. I'm internally sort of fizzing with, oh, God. Oh, God, I've sung all your songs at your concerts. But here I am going, so do you split your time? Are you on the wing?

30:42Rosie Ramsey:If only then, you. I know. And also, if you ever told 21-year-old Mosey when she was at a One Direction concert, like, oh, you'll one day be technically working with them. What will that conversation look like? it'll be me going, do you think you'll play centre-back or on the wing?

31:01Chris Ramsey:This is wild. This is similar. This sounds similar to when me and my friend Kelly met Stephen Tomkinson. What? Literally. How did that come about? So we do a charity thing in the North East called Sunday Vasami. And he's been doing it, obviously, for a long, long time. He's like one of the founding sort of people. and I grew up, Washington seemed like, loved him, whatever. Yeah. And we met and he was there. We went for drinks after because we were doing back and singing in this thing and it was four o 'clock in the morning and obviously loads of people had left and we were the only ones there.

31:36Chris Ramsey:So we had a really big chat with her and I remember the taxiway were just like dying at hours. It's so weird, isn't it? How mad it was. But also how close, I was just like, I can't, four o 'clock in the morning, how mad, can't believe we've just had. It's bonkers, isn't it? And Vince McMahon.

31:53Rosie Ramsey:Because you can't marry up the person that they were to you, the person that they are now. It's wild. I've got a friend who, like, she's in musical theatre, she's in some really good productions, and she was in one with Richard Fleishman, the actor. Oh, yeah. He used to be Craig the Goth in Corrie. Right. And the whole Craig the Goth had on me. Like, when he moved to Berlin and Rosie Webster didn't go with him, I was like, I'd have got on the train with you, Craig the Goth. And then, like, my friend's just like, oh yeah, you know, we're in this production together. And internally I was like, can you ask him this?

32:27Rosie Ramsey:Can you ask him that? Absolutely. It does. Yeah, I had like a poster of him on my wall. Which is weird because it's not like, he wasn't like One Direction. He was Craig the Goth. But it's weird to have Craig the Goth on your wall.

32:41Maisie Adam:Where did they sell the posters?

32:42Rosie Ramsey:What a niche poster.

32:43Maisie Adam:Did you make this poster?

32:45Rosie Ramsey:I might have made it. I'm just going to draw Craig the Goth and put it on my wall.

32:49Maisie Adam:I imagine you got a TV magazine with a very small picture of him and went into some kind of print and place

32:54Rosie Ramsey:and went, can you make that to your one? Can you blow this up to life size, please?

32:56Chris Ramsey:Back in the day, soap stars were pretty big. They were. Pretty big, yeah. Oh my gosh. Jamie from Eastenders. Yes. What was the one? Adam Rickett. Yeah. Breathe Again. Oh, I loved that. I was solidly into all that shit. That was well done.

33:11Maisie Adam:When I did it, there was this panel show that they did on Channel 5 for a bit. I can't remember what it was called. Was it called It's Not Me, It's You? Eamon Holmes hosted it.

33:19Chris Ramsey:Eamon Holmes did it.

33:19Maisie Adam:And Vicky Patterson was a team captain and Kelly Brook was a team captain. And I was on. I ended up doing like five episodes of it. And they got Jet the Gladiator on as a surprise for me because it was like asking about stuff. About oil crushes. I had an arm wrestler.

33:33Rosie Ramsey:No.

33:34Maisie Adam:It was like, oh, Chris was obsessed with you. Chris absolutely loved you. And she had to come on the phone because she was a gladiator. And I had an arm wrestler in the middle of the thing. Oh, my God.

33:40Rosie Ramsey:Oh, my God. Did you tell your friend? You had to deal with him. I phoned him. Yeah.

33:44Maisie Adam:I phoned him from the dressing room and I got to speak to him on the phone and he lost it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God. Yeah.

33:50Rosie Ramsey:It is weird, isn't it? Yeah. It is weird.

33:53Maisie Adam:And I beat her in the arm wrestle and I said, it's your fault. It's your fault.

33:57Chris Ramsey:Did you be there?

33:58Maisie Adam:Well, yeah, she was dead, can he? But I said, it's your fault. This arm's so strong. Oh, God. Oh, God.

34:03Chris Ramsey:I didn't know you were going with that. I've just nipped my finger. That's a fairie. It's getting you mad. Sorry. I'm going to do this story, Macy. Yes, absolutely. If you don't mind. But before we do it, I'm going to do a really big cough. Okay. So just... Sorry, cover you.

34:18Rosie Ramsey:Oh, it's a good one. That was a good one. Is it cleared out?

34:22Maisie Adam:It's something about the fact that she's a good singer or something. The volume on her coughs and the breath she takes before. I do like it.

34:31Rosie Ramsey:Yeah.

34:32Maisie Adam:The breath beforehand makes me think that she doesn't really need to cough.

34:35Rosie Ramsey:Yeah. You cough from the diaphragm.

34:38Maisie Adam:It's really annoying.

34:39Rosie Ramsey:It's a classically trained cough.

34:40Chris Ramsey:It is. I didn't ever notice that. She's got range.

34:43Maisie Adam:She does five minutes of cough warm-ups. She does five minutes of cough warm-ups before the cough. That's the worst bit.

34:51Chris Ramsey:I'm off my tits, by the way. I'm on my second dose of Sudafed. And I haven't had much to eat.

34:57Rosie Ramsey:Big night for you. God, honestly. Big night. Shit. You'll be the eyeballs the size of golf balls.

35:04Chris Ramsey:Well, I blinked before when yous were talking and I went a bit funny.

35:08Rosie Ramsey:That's the stories that people get. You know when you worry about people going in South Shields? Oh, Rosie's a nutter. It's going to be good. Rosie Ramsey. Get her on the suede first. Oh, that is. All right, let's go. Dear Chris and Rosie, please keep me anonymous. You recently discussed a listener who got in touch about finding a very detailed spreadsheet on her boyfriend's laptop chronicling every porn video he had watched. Yes. The IMDB of porn. Yes. However, I know someone who found much worse in similar circumstances. My friend borrowed her husband's laptop to do some work and found a suspicious-looking file.

35:47Rosie Ramsey:On further investigation, she discovered that her husband had... Any guesses?

35:54Maisie Adam:I've got two possible guesses, but you can go first.

35:56Chris Ramsey:No, I don't have... I'm left. Right.

35:58Maisie Adam:So is either...

35:59Chris Ramsey:Nana porn. No. Jesus Christ. Sorry. I actually think it's called granny porn.

36:06Rosie Ramsey:That's the go-to. That's what I thought. It's granny porn. Granny porn. Nana porn. Nana porn makes it feel like it's just going to be nice and comforting. It makes it feel so much work.

36:13Maisie Adam:Yeah, she's holding a cat.

36:14Rosie Ramsey:Yeah.

36:15Maisie Adam:Yeah, the fire's on. She's needing a piece of... Yeah, no, that's horrible. So I think it's either... It's X's, weirdly what we've been talking about, X's rated, or, and this is my actual guess, times that they've had sex together, rated... Have I got it?

36:35Chris Ramsey:No.

36:35Maisie Adam:Right.

36:36Chris Ramsey:I would die. Imagine. It's actually in quite a different way.

36:39Maisie Adam:Totally unrelated. Don't have a look on my laptop. It's a small file. I mean, it would be the last year of it.

36:47Rosie Ramsey:Very, very small. You won't be worried about storage.

36:52Maisie Adam:It's a small file. I'll not be after an external hard drive anytime soon. It's not even on the cloud. But we still love each other.

37:00Rosie Ramsey:On further investigation, she discovered that her husband had listed every single light and lamp in the house, the room each was in, what type of bulb it required, how many of that type of bulb they had in stock in the house, when the bulb was last changed, and the estimated date when it would need changing again. She was so horrified by this discovery, porn would have been less disturbing. That's awful. That's awful. Controversial opinion. I think that's the hottest thing I've ever heard. Stop it! I do! Stop! I do! I'm sorry.

37:36Chris Ramsey:This is so good for everyone. I love the spreadsheet.

37:38Maisie Adam:I am hugely impressed by that.

37:42Chris Ramsey:I knew you would be. Come on. That's an organised king right there. I'd leave. No. No. An organised king? An organised king? It is.

37:52Rosie Ramsey:That's like, he's going to kill you. No, because then when a light goes out, you're not having to go, oh, we'll have to go to B &Q or we'll have to get one on Amazon. He's just there going, don't worry, darling. It's the thing you know. No.

38:03Maisie Adam:Mizzy, she's such a hypocrite because we didn't have a bulb to go in one of the lights they're dating and you were kicking off that we didn't have one. That guy.

38:10Chris Ramsey:Yeah, but you know what? I would find it sexier. That to me is just absolutely not right. But I would find it sexier if like, say it was you, okay. If I knew you had that, ick, vile. But if a light went out and you got your coat on, you're like, I'm going to go to BMQ now and get that, I'd go, that's it, that's my hero. But the fact that he's got a spreadsheet and he knows... No, no, no, no.

38:32Maisie Adam:Sorry, sorry, sorry. No. Honestly, are you saying that as soon as the light goes out and I hide my coat and you would let me go straight to B &Q to get a lightbulb.

38:39Chris Ramsey:You would let me leave the house. No, no, no.

38:41Maisie Adam:Are the kids over here? There it is.

38:43Chris Ramsey:No, are the kids? Is the kids in bed?

38:46Maisie Adam:You would let me, tea time, so it's tea time, the kids are eating, you would let me quickly, you're full of shit, because honestly, I'd be smashing lightbulbs with hammers if I could get out of that house.

38:54Chris Ramsey:You can't leave the house. Really? You can't leave the house. Okay. Okay, no, I just think, right, okay, right,

38:59Rosie Ramsey:maybe it's not, no, I'm living in the past,

39:03Chris Ramsey:that's nerdy as fuck.

39:04Rosie Ramsey:I don't find that sexy. I'm thinking of the columns, the room. What's that from Saved by the Bell? Do that. No, but that's the lazy of yesteryear, wishing for a, you've got to kiss a few frogs before you get your organised prints. I don't want Zach Morris and his lack of bulb spreadsheets.

39:23Chris Ramsey:Okay, fair enough. No, I get it. Oh, my God. This is green flags all the way. Yeah, no, it is. It's very sweet. But just, do you think he's going to know where your clip is?

39:39Rosie Ramsey:he'll have a spreadsheet telling him where it is he'll have a spreadsheet saying keep going for five minutes he's so busy then move to the left

39:48Chris Ramsey:can it not no I hate him

39:51Rosie Ramsey:he'll have time codes he'll have time codes of when to move onto each area he's no he's written the manual

40:00Chris Ramsey:fair enough I'll take your word for it we're not

40:04Maisie Adam:we're going to end it there because we're never going to top that. They're fucking screaming in the next room.

40:09Chris Ramsey:Guys, I think it's a pseudofed. Ask me another day, I'd probably be impressed.

40:15Maisie Adam:Wow. Maisie, thank you so much. Thank you, guys. It's been an absolute pleasure to sit and chat with you.

40:20Chris Ramsey:It was a laugh, thank you. Oh, God.