Please Keep Me Anonymous with Ricky Wilson

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0:40$15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. See terms. Hello, you are listening to Shag Married Annoyed. Please keep me anonymous. Part of the Shag Married Annoyed extended universe. Stop. This week we are joined by, honestly, very, very funny bloke. Bit of a hero of mine from back in the day. It's Ricky Wilson from the Kaiser Chiefs. Yep, and he's here, he's chatting to us because he is playing Teen Angel in the critically acclaimed Grease the Immersive Experience. It did have a sold-out run in 2025, but it is back.

1:08You're wanting to go to this, aren't you? I'm desperate to go. You're totally sold on this. Well, it's Grease, it's live, it's in an outside... Evolution London in Battersea Park. Yep, love it. And you can get dressed up and you can sing along and you can have a mid-time. It's like, yeah, he says everyone goes dressed up. His exact words, I think, at one point were, if you're not dressed up, you'll feel stupid yeah I think the kids would like this as well yeah I'm really up for going to this so it opens at Evolution London in Battersea Park for a limited run from the 22nd of July to the 13th of September for tickets go to greasetheimmersivemoviemusical.com catch a little website there yeah it sounds absolutely mint I think you're going to enjoy this chat too as well it goes a bit off tangent he's a maniac it's class full maniac very very funny yeah enjoy

2:15Would you, for five million pounds, tax-free, Yeah, love questions like this. Tax-free, okay. live in this house this room for a year for what five million quid where am I shitting oh you you can order anything you want off Amazon yeah I would what with the kids or without the kids no on your own on me yeah I'd do it with the dad she'd pay you she'd pay you five million to live in the other year are you joking you'd be just going right I'll get a TV first day yeah there's one there is that TV yeah well that's not big enough you'd get a big one there massive telly I would love that Deaf every day.

2:54It'd eat into your five million, but it's fine. No, just a little bit. Get a fan in that. What an odd question. Lust to have you here. Oh, are we on? We're on. We probably caught your question there. We probably caught your question if we're getting there. Do you want to get your fangirling out of the way? Well, obviously we've met. We've met before. We've done panel shows together. But I'm very excited. Like, anyone who listens to this know that you guys, like back in the day, Kaiser Chiefs, we're talking my jam going out, starting in Clubs and Sutherland. I am 39. We're 40. this summer. There's a chance I'll be 40 when this comes out.

3:27I'm nearly 50 now. Right. That's scary, isn't it? We're talking you guys. We're talking the Cribs. Amazing. Future Heads. Great. Maximo Park. Great. I'm joking. I know them all. It's because you know them really well. I know them all. Like madness. Madness? No, no, no. They were a little bit before. Oh, he's quick. I forgot he's also quick. He's also quick because since being a rock star he's also done shitloads of telly and he's really fucking quick. there was a club in Sunderland called Q Club Q Club, yeah I know it Is that still there? I don't think so Don't look for it but when I predict the riot used to come on there was an area of Sunderland called Riot Oh, of course I think you can understand I'm ahead of you It's funny what I predict a riot because we play it and we've been playing it for 20 years and now it's quite heavy but when I hear it on the radio I go it's really tame Do you think?

4:22I think that I've had a lot of things. Like, I can remember when I thought, Nevermind, and thinking it was the heaviest thing I've heard. And now I'm like going, it's quite poppy, isn't it? It's weird. I used to sing, we used to finish our set in the club bands with Agatha Dicker Ryan. Did you? Yeah. You were in a club band? I was in a club band, yeah. You ever done any musical theatre? Yes. Have you? Yes. Love it. Oh, mate. Do you? I'm all about it. This, by the way, the reason you're here talking to us. Oh, right, yeah. Did I segue then? That was lovely segue. Well done. On the TV. You used to be cool, man.

4:51I did. You used to be against the system. No, I was cool for about 15 minutes in 2005. Longer than that. No, honestly, if you're cool this week, you're not cool next week. Okay. But what happened was we managed to kind of like, we were cool and then we got quite big, which meant we weren't cool. Yeah. But then we were going, it's actually pretty cool being big, isn't it? Oh, God, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's cool being cool, playing pubs and stuff, but it's not as fun as being massive. Well, of course. But did you find that all of the bands that you started with started to resent you? Me? Like just you as the band because you got bigger or were they all buzzing for you?

5:31Not at all. Okay, good. Oh, the other bands? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you meant within that band. No, no, no, no. I mean the other bands. That was awkward. Like, oh, they've took the money. They've done it. Well, no, it's not so much taking the money, although there is money. Yeah. not as much as you'd think if I'd have been big in the 80s I would be talking to you no you'd be on a yacht I'd be on a yacht well I was just about to say what you need to do is right because all of our we work together so all of our money goes to the same household you need to marry all of your band members some kind of big just get together just be some kind of it still wouldn't be that much I mean it'd be it's done alright yeah yeah but the thing I was going to say about money is it was quite good because the more successful we got I thought of it as proof we were doing like writing the best writing the good stuff not like we would like sold out more like we'd bought in yeah yeah dude I've always wanted to be mainstream since I first started stand up I can tell these are Ralph Lauren these are Ralph Lauren sure you know the source is slagged off you can get a lot of Ralph Lauren in TK Maxx you can oh my god you can I've got the better pair of trainers for 16 quid I am I would say TK Maxx waiting for the Auburn like I'm waiting for my methadone I don't have a bad word against TK Maxx there's not a TK Maxx in a town that I've gigged I haven't been to it's literally what I do right I get up in the morning before everyone else I'm up because I go for a run every day oh nice but I run to a TK Maxx go fuck off man no and sometimes I'll buy something if it's there or you know when you hide it that's in the extra smalls get that put it in the extra smalls come back late for that and it's a little bit like I do a recon because you get your good TK Maxx's and you get your rubbish TK Maxx's so I do a recon for the rest of the band Code Blue, Code Blue, we got a good one We got a good one Oh my god, like what do you get when you go though?

7:21Not dicking around within that home section Home sense for that Do you like the pastas and stuff, do you ever buy them? The pastas, oh as you're leaving Yeah they're like just Wappy shit Big fresh taglatellis on that I always have a look at the bags but I never get one No, they are nice though, I get all the kids Christmas like smellies and that bit yeah my mum and dad since TK Max opened in Harrogate I've got some wacky stuff yeah I love Harrogate it is great they live in Harrogate they live in Harrogate yeah do you like Harrogate Harrogate's lovely we love Harrogate it's not far from us you're from there originally aren't you around there I'm from Ilkley ah right okay is that west Yorkshire Bradford way oh yeah okay I do I do running do you like running yes how far do you run 12 a day 12 miles a day?

8:12Steps. 12 steps. Yeah, 12 kilometres a day. What's that in miles? I don't know. Why 12? What do you pick 12 for? It's more than 10. Sounds more impressive, doesn't it? It's only two more. It's only like 10 minutes more and it just sounds much better. 10 minutes more too? What's 12 kilometres in miles? Is that about seven miles? We could sit here and work it out all day. Shall we? This is it. Let's say countdown. This is it. This is all we're doing. That's really good though. I've done countdown. That's fun. I've never done. Cats countdown? No. No, real countdown. You did real countdown? Yeah, and I did well.

8:41Really? Yeah. I'd have surprised myself. Not the maths. Right. Words, though. I was good at that. Oh, so yeah. I did cat's countdown and I got a two. Two? As. Yes. You just said as? As. As. All right, I didn't know. As. The exact name was. I thought you did. I was so panicked. I think, so I want to go back on because I think I'd be better now. I do Wordle every day, right? Yeah. But I got a two and I remember I was so upset and embarrassed I got a two and I was sitting next to John Richardson and I knew I was letting him down. And I said, meaning I don't know if this is acceptable as a word because it's only two letters, but I said, I've got a wobbly two.

9:19And yeah, and everyone lost it. And I didn't even know what they were laughing at because I was so upset. And to the point of where someone heckled it at a gig later, said, yeah, wobbly two. And I went, what? And the guy in the crowd had to explain it was that it sounded like testicles and I didn't know. That's the level of comedy. That's the level of comedy. Did you enjoy doing Palsy? they're not as big a thing anymore aren't they so I did Mock the Week again the other week for the first time in literally 12 years no it's horrible hated it every second of it because I'm spoilt now where I get to have we do our podcast I get to do we get to talk say all our own things yeah waiting your turn to talk okay waiting that watching comedians waiting you can hear almost the click the moment they go into a bit from their stand up oh yeah yes they've crowbarred in and then they're like I'm away now yeah shopping tries whatever Right.

10:09But now I've done a few and I hated them. Yeah. I won't name any names, right? Yeah. No, do, please. No, I'll guess, I'll guess, I'll guess. On 8 of 10 Cats. Yeah. I was sat there and it was a Christmas special. Beforehand, you all sit in a room and you talk about stuff. They give you some questions. Sorry for giving it away. No, you do, yeah. They talk about like, you know, what might come up. And I told a story. Yeah. Right? About, I don't tell the story, it's boring. But I told a story. Yeah. And then they asked the question and one other person told my story. Go off. No. And then winked at me.

10:43Everyone laughing. What a great story that was. No fucking way. That happened to me. Did it? When? That happened to me. When? When I said something, then the other person said it a little bit later and louder than me and it got the laugh. And I went, I've just said that. I've just said that. I've said that a couple of times. It's a panel show thing. So, yeah. It's vile. It's absolutely gross. How could you? Once I was on one and they said something about Game of Thrones and I just said, I thought they said Eamon Holmes, right? Yeah. And then they went, I thought you said Eamon Holmes? No, fuck off.

11:18No. This is like that Key and Peele sketch. This is wild. Hey, I've just discovered Key and Peele. Oh, what, really? Because obviously when you're looking at stuff on your phone, you hover on something a bit much and it shows you more of it. I've been hovering on Key and Peele. Oh, hilarious. People building Lego. Yeah. very lightly I'm like there's lots of it but yeah they're brilliant aren't they oh so funny unbelievable why isn't it the biggest thing in the world it was oh was it yeah that's why they're both megastars now that's why one of them's directing his own movies and the other one's the voice of Toad and Mario oh right maybe I was busy they passed you by I was busy that year hey when I was busy I mean I'm still busy but when I was really busy in like mid-2000s I missed everything yeah I know exactly I can imagine that didn't see Gavin and Stacey me I didn't I had to see it after the fact yeah yeah everyone's talking about it a couple of Christmases and I'm like, yeah.

12:05And I'm like, that's, it's all right. There's loads of movies, isn't there? There's loads of movies that I haven't seen that you've seen. From a period of time. A certain period of time. You've seen The Rock. You know, I mean, you've seen all that. I've seen Connery. Went to the cinema to see that. But then there's a whole period where I'm like, no. Are you trying to say you were more busy than me? No, I was trying to say I was more, yeah, yeah, I was more busy. But then that happens again. That happens again when you've got kids, doesn't it? Yeah. Because then you miss loads of stuff because you probably, you get them to bed and it's nine o 'clock.

12:34You probably watch an hour or something. Oh. Or you go, should we do one more? And you go, and you're looking at it and I'm going, shall we risk one more? Oh, we do that all the time. We start a thing now because if we go to bed later than 10 o 'clock, by the time I've washed my face, done my teeth, put all my creams on and all that, it's literally a taste age. She's got about a million portions for her face. Yeah, different ones for different body parts. Yeah, well, basically, yeah. It's like she's restoring and some kind of bit of furniture. A teak table. You know when you see people online, again, chopping boards out of wood?

13:08Yeah, yeah. And you go, it's done. You go, it's done now, it's done. And he cuts it and then he puts another layer of oil on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he's doing it again, then he sands it. That's her face every night before bed. I've got really into watching the guy making hats. There's a guy that makes hats. And I'm really into it. I've watched him make a load of hats. anyway yes you go to bed because now we have to clock in the fact that that takes so long and I like to read a little bit before I go to bed and then I don't like to go to bed after 11 so where sometimes now half nine I'm going is that lights out lights out yeah right do you have a TV in your bedroom yeah but we've got we've got a terrible sleeping system at the minute all over the house our eldest is in with me youngest youngest sorry eldest is on his own and he's upstairs and I'm in the loft too late it's too late I quite like it I love it I've got a cold at the moment and I quite like it when I've got a bit of a cough because I get sent to my room right and I have a little room it's got a little kind of like day bed in it but I sleep so well surrounded by all me things yeah so why wouldn't you want to do that every night like it blows my mind why wouldn't you want to sleep well every night so we shared a bed last night in the hotel and he woke me up at half five snoring and I was really mad because you never snore dude and she doesn't I might but Rafe Rafe never says anything the fear the fear when I get that nudge you go Chris you're snoring what do I do I go I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I love you so much I think sharing a bedroom with your partners I think it's overrated it's overrated it's ridiculous I think it's it's not it's not traditionally what people did no I'm guessing I don't think we should I would have just gone into that like if I was on this morning I would have like backed myself up on that but I don't know I have no idea Giles would have been there wouldn't he so absolutely

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17:23So speaking of all films no one's ever seen. You've never seen Grace. Never seen Grace. No, have you never seen Grace? I've seen a bit of it. I've seen... Have you got a sister? No, no, no. Only child. I've seen the first bit up until that... Only child, really? You know. I've opened up until the bit where that bloke ruins the song you know the guy you know where where's it love at first sight you know that one tell me more tell me more did you put up a fight whoa mate did you what yeah that is bad did you put up a fight mate it's not as bad as I don't think we want to be friends it's not as bad as Grease 2 though there's a worse bit in that is there really a guy tricks a girl into sleeping with her in a nuclear bunker by saying it's the end of the world and they have to...

18:11I don't think you're not... Do you want me to sing the song for you? Do you want me to? That means I'm going to sing the song for you. So he's telling her that there's a war and they're all going to die and he's saying, let's do it for our country. The red, white and the blue. It's not a lot to ask for. Our parents will approve. I'll be a mighty soldier and I'll win this war for you. Let's do it for our country. We owe it to our country Let's do it for our country Our country wants us to And then they do They do it She's up for it though She thinks she's going to die She doesn't want to die a virgin What does she do when she finds out That the world's not over?

18:55You Naughty, naughty Why are you? No, actually, I think they're interrupted I think the boys all fall out of a cupboard and then she's putting a bandage on him and then she runs off she goes oh Nicky anyway Grease 1 right which I believe is far superior I would believe so yes yeah you like Grease 2 I just love Grease 2 who's that guy on the motorcycle what would they say if they knew it was Michael yes what would they say if they knew it was Michael there you go so I'm in Grease 1 right which is also Which at the time was just known as Grease. Yes. That would be funny if they released it and called it Grease 1.

19:40I think a movie should come out. I didn't know that Star Wars were named with the episodes afterwards. I thought how fucking freaked out most people have been when the first Star Wars came out, when it was called A New Hope Episode 4. I think it was. I think it was. Really? Google it. Google it. Jamie, can you Google that? As if there's a group of people. It's not called Jamie. I'm just joking. Take the piss out of the Joe Rogan podcast. Really? when it first came out it was called episode 4 A New Hope piss off I won't have it so they knew it was going to be a success I won't have it nah I won't have it but then again George Lucas very clever first person in history I think I've talked about this before wanted sat with the studio and said there was like shaft in them and he went yeah you can shaft us I want all of the rights for the merchandise and they went okay no one had ever sought merch for a film before you love Chris loves facts like that do you know he was pals with Spielberg of course and they were both worried that their films wouldn't be a success and thought the other person's film, I think it must have been Jaws, was going to be more of a success.

20:40So they gave each other 2.5 % of each movie. I didn't know that. So Spielberg gets 2.5 % of Star Wars. What? That's really cool. And Lucas gets 2.5 % of Jaws. That's pretty cool. Which is a massive movie. Not as big. For the money. Are we talking about longevity 2.5 % here? No. Even since he sold it to Disney? Yeah. it's good isn't it okay that's really cool wow I see that's there you love showing that Jaws was the first ever summer blockbuster was it no movie no movie had ever come out in summer but this summer I think I think it's in my top three Jaws Jaws Jaws yeah I went to watch it with our eldest last year actually and he was 10 just turned 10 and the opening kind of song came on I had to turn it off he was shitting his pants well there you go so we didn't even get to the face in the we didn't get to the in the water face in the porthole is terrifying fine.

21:30Nothing had happened. It was just so... Nothing had happened. Nothing. It was the eerie music and he was really scared and I just thought, nah, he's not ready for it. Did he know it was about a shark? Yeah. He knows what it's about. It was just, he was shit in his pants so I thought, nah, no. And I didn't want another kid in me there. The idea of a scary movie scares him. Do you remember the other night? The other night he came in the living room and he went, Dad, what's weapons? I went, what's weapons? I went, what do you mean? He went, it's like, a picture of it popped up on Amazon Prime and it looks really creepy.

22:00It's like kids running with their arms out. No, I'd watched it recently. Oh, yeah. I have to watch horror films on a train because I get too into them. Oh, I watched it on a plane. My man. I just feel like there's... Oh, yeah. I was watching... Every now and then some ask if you want a drink. Have you heard of Widow's Bay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll love it. My mates in it. No. She plays, I've forgotten her name, the main girl. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yes. Loved her. Fantastic. She's amazing, isn't she? Yes. Anyway, so I was watching that. She's amazing. Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. Is she British?

22:30Fantastic. I was watching that on the train and I knew, you know when you know there's a jump scare coming up, which makes it even more of a jump scare for some reason. Weirdly, yeah. It's the anticipation. I was like... You got Rosie! A whole carriage. A whole carriage. The whole of first class. Spilled the champagne. It's changed, honey. oh god honestly I haven't changed I've just moved into what I always should have been there it is so our son comes in the other day and he goes what is it I've seen the picture and he walked out and I went no it's I went you don't need to watch that it's a horror film you can't watch that and he walked out of the room and I turned to her and I went he's watched the fucking trailer haven't he and when he's watched the trailer he came back in I went you've watched the trailer haven't you and he went no I went don't lie to us he went I haven't I went I've just checked Amazon Prime and I went on last watched which you can't do and it's the trailer for weapons.

23:20He went, I'm sorry, I didn't watch it all. I'm sorry I didn't watch the whole thing. I love horror films. My wife doesn't like them, so. I love them, but I'm frightened. I've talked about this on the podcast loads of times. I'm intrigued by them so much. I will watch the trailers and stuff, but I can't watch the full things. I'll have to tell you this. You obviously, people who've listened will know this. You don't know this. When the first... How do you know I don't listen? I just got a funny feeling. Why do you think I bought the same rug? I have this rug. You did? Yeah. Lara Doon is it Lara I think it's Lara Doon Lara Doont listen or TK Max I don't think it is is it not I think it's actually from the Conrad shop Jack where's it from what's the Conrad Lara Doon okay my wife I don't want to be rude but I know me rugs you brought a knife to a gunfight there do you know what did you try and manspeak rugs to my wife that phrase is funny because it really reminds me of this one thing I was once in a I was once in a fight with Johnny Rotten.

24:20What? I won't go into it. Sorry, with him or against him? Against him. Shut up. So it was his crew versus foals, block party, a couple of super furry animals and a couple of Kaiser Chiefs. Shut up. And he had this big crew with him. I won't tell you what it was about. It was dark, dark. But it was done in this big fight. And in the middle of it, I had an umbrella. Because I had a broken leg, right? And I was using it as a stick, right? and it was just him in my face like that. And he went, don't bring a brolly to a knife fight.

24:55And I was like, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm in a fight with a pistol. It was just like a lot of pushing and shoving and a few bits of hitting. And then we all ended up in one of Foles' room in the hotel. And I misjudged the situation because I came in like, that was amazing! I was like it was really bad well yeah this is wild Black Party and Fools are posh boys they're not posh I think they're just they're more serious they're more posh they're a bit Fools are a bit a bit a little bit I don't know I think I find all the Fools I did I'm joking I did the Nihal's show I met the well Nihal used to do the review show I really did one I met the main guy from Fools Yanis and then Yanis from Force.

25:45That's it, yeah. Oh, great. Anyway, that was my, that's my, when I got into a fight with a pistol. Fights? That's so funny. Have you ever had any fights? Bring a brolly to a knife. Comedians have had any fights? Yeah, do you have any comedian rumbles? No, not really many comedians are. I suppose you just saw, it's all stubbing in the back. Well, they'll wing at you on the panel show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need to tell us who that was. I'm so interested in that. We can block it out. What year was it? I thought it wasn't zippy.

26:15I thought he said Eamon Holmes. Well, yeah, I'm not telling you. I'll tell you afterwards. Tell us afterwards. I hate it when they do that on anything. Radio, podcast, everything. We'll talk afterwards. I know. We're cool. In the VIP section, we'll talk about this afterwards. Okay. Yeah, I hear that. But we're going to do it. I mean, I kind of love it because I listen to two rival podcasts and they always lag each other off. Do they? It's a real housewife show. Do you have any, so rivals, do you have any like proper beef with other podcasts? No. Don't do it. I suppose they can't really steal your USP, can they?

26:45Oh, they try. Well, I mean, people have definitely. In lockdown, everyone who had a bloody girlfriend, wife, sister, be a girlfriend started a relationship. Anyone who I had to live with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I suppose that's true, isn't it? I thought there'd be a lot more kind of like brother-sister bands emerging right now. Right, okay. Because of lockdown. But I think maybe they just all didn't get on well enough. Because of the white stripes. No, because of the white stripes. Lawrence. Because of the carpenters. Yeah, I should talk about Grease because I feel like I love talking about Grease.

27:18No, listen, I love talking about Grease. You are playing Teen Angel. I am, yeah. That's an easy part. Oh my God, I was just going to say that. It's even an easy song to sing. Such a good part, yeah. I'm going to enjoy the day. You're going to have such a nice time. I've been asked to do musical theatre in the past and I will be honest with you, I've been tempted. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And I know it seems weird, but when you've got a job that you, I do love my job, but people offer you other things. and you say yes to things, you think, I'll never do that. Also, nowadays, maybe like 10, 15 years ago, it wouldn't have been acceptable.

27:50But no, I don't care. Yeah. What do you mean as a box star? I was like, is it cool or not? Yeah. I'm nearly 50. You're at a different stage of life now. Yeah. So I'm doing it. But I couldn't do any of the big ones they've offered me in the West End. They want a lot of commitment. Yeah. It's not a side hustle. It's a fun hustle. I've been asked to audition for stuff. and the they want you they want you there I know but it's so hard because when I was like between the years of like 18 and 21 before I just gave up the dream and went into club bands and all that which is great loved it made money I did all of the auditioning for the West End and all of that and I didn't get anywhere so now when I get asked to audition for stuff I'm like oh my god you're selling yourself short here can you tell them what you got to the final call for please tell them what you got to the final call for I got the final 10 final 10 for final 10 four it was Lord of the Rings the musical Lord of the Rings the musical yep and it was for a hobbit final ten final ten a hobbit one of one of the four one of the big four no it was just one of it wasn't a main part it was just one of the I reckon it would have been that hobbit you know that wench one that Samwise Gamgee gets with at the end yeah the slightly fit blonde one you're laughing I was gutted Lord of the Rings the musical yeah I don't think it's still going is it still going it's not still going Some lovely songs out of it, but it's very folky.

29:16Right. Very nice. But yeah, at the time, I was gutted. Right. Couldn't even get a fucking hobbit word. You get some weird musicals, don't you? Oh, yeah. Was it Lord of the Rings? With the songs of Lenny Kravitz. You know what I mean? You get some weird things. You go, really? And then the oddest ones take off. But some of them take off. Yeah, crazy. What's your favourite musical? My favourite musical? Don't say Grease. Don't say Grease just because you're doing it. Don't be disgusting. God's sake. I don't really go and see him. Because I don't really go and see much because I get jealous. That isn't resting.