Please Keep Me Anonymous with Suzi Ruffell

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0:50More like habanere, yes Save the everyday with Amazon Hello, you all listening and watching Shag Marinoid. Please keep me anonymous. Hello, and we are joined this week by the incredibly funny comedian, Susie Ruffell. We had a wonderful chat. Very funny lady. Very, very funny. Susie is a stand-up. We started around about the same time, me and Susie. I've known her for years. She does a podcast with Tom Allen called Like-Minded Friends and a podcast with Maisie Adam called Big Kick Energy, which is on talking about her tour, which you're going to go and see, aren't you? I am. It sounds amazing. she's got a musical theatre background so it's a very sort of theatre-y us theatre kids we'll love it guys yeah she did she said at one point in me show there's some light and state changes and Rosie literally lost her mind right dripping a show's called Juggle and for tickets suzyruffle.com that's s-u-z-i ruffle dot com like the chocolates yeah no spelled different great unhelpful completely unhelpful edition there by Rosie thank you for liking and then rate it and subscribe and please subscribe if you're watching this on YouTube and just enjoy.

1:57We had a fight about the jingle We couldn't settle on a jingle So this is the jingle We hope you like the jingle Jing Ba-ba-do-ba-ba-do-ba-ba-do-ba Jing Oh, funky trainers. I said that. Oh, my Jacob would love them. He would, wouldn't he? He would. My cousin used to work in like a really cool shoe shop in Newcastle. And he was just, every time you seen him, he had like the coolest fucking trainers on. He was obsessed. Do you? There's a Nike outlet near Birmingham. I was like, I've got four hours before a show. Oh my God, shopping. See, I've got a thing with shopping where when I'm in. You can't be trusted without Rosie.

2:46How did you know? I'd literally dress them. so well so the the sort of the sub headline would be I just buy the same colour stuff all the time so stuff basically the colour of these curtains no greens greens after three what colour do you buy which I hate which you don't even suit oh one two three burgundy fucking burgundy so I buy burgundy and she hates burgundy so much I buy burgundy stuff you don't suit it either I buy like olive green like I literally I walk around the shop and I'd be like oh yeah and I'd pick loads of things up and then I'd go to the dressing room and I'm like these are all fucking cargy black or olive green like all the same colour it's all I do you want to look like you're in the army or something someone asked me are you in the TA someone at the gym said that they went are you in the TA I was like I know you've always got like green trousers why do you never tell me these things what a terrible way to what a horrible way to find out you're dressed like shit well I was going to say that he didn't recognise you no I know What a terrible way to find you and us.

3:52Where do I know you from? No, they know who I am. They know who I am at the gym. It's just one of them. He's like, sure, sure, sure. They know who I am at the gym. Don't worry, they do. No, definitely. You need some more. I've got my green pants on and I've got my Chris Hamsey day shirt on. But yeah, the thing with me at shopping is, now when I'm on tour especially, so I'm sitting in a hotel room and I've got a bit of time to kill, I'll go like, oh, I should go to the shops. And I walk around shops. But basically, if I'm on my phone and I'm looking online, I look at stuff and I go, oh no I should be in the shop trying this on and the minute I go to the shop I go why have I done this to myself why am I in a shop and I want to just leave the shop immediately but then when I'm at home looking online I can't shop I'm fucking terrible at shopping yeah you are I'm dog shit at shopping Rosie buys nearly all my stuff now I think that's well you look nice today she bought all of this thank you thank you like all of it is this marriage counselling what is this one of us one of us what do you enjoy buying like what so I just buy tops yeah I buy a lot of t-shirts buy a lot of t-shirts and got quite a lot of sort of shackets yeah I love a shacket I love a coat me love a coat my mum bought my dad a shacket but she got confused halfway through telling me and she told me that she'd bought him a shumper she knew it was two words put together but she hadn't quite she hadn't quite she was like you know what I mean a shumper and I was like oh I love you so much I love that I love her.

5:17Yeah, she knew that she had to do a bit of merging. So a shumper would be either like a wool shirt or maybe like a jogging bottom. I have a shumper. Do you? I have a jumper type material that's got a collar. Yes. I do have a shumper. Do you remember when they were really in for men? Like a rugger top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a bit of a... No, but I'm thinking of, do you remember when they used to like sew in a collar? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it would look like... Do you know what I'm talking about? No, I don't know what you're talking about here. I'm excited though. I do. I think you need to coin the word Shumper very quickly.

5:48I know, I love it. I need to leave. Is that all right? I've got a couple of patterns I need to create. Can you remember when you had that billionaire on? That's Susie Ruffles. And she left halfway through and then she created that Shumper empire. Remember, we never saw... Susie Shumper. She bought an island. She bought an island. You know Shumper Island? Oh, don't. I thought I'd invented something the other day. Oh, what was it? Genuinely, because I do a lot of emails in the car. Sure. Just, I don't know why the fuck... I've got an office. She's busy. She's doing a lot of things She's leaving it at the last fucking minute I've got more energy I don't know what it is Do you need a deadline?

6:25I need a deadline Oh fuck me Don't give me a month Because I'll do it a day before No way Could you get these Q &A's back to us You can do it by Friday 10 to 5 on Friday Come on Get the adrenaline I was checking my email in the car and I just thought no not driving promise you on the drive I promise so and then I was like wouldn't it be great if you could just have like a table on the wheel to put your laptop on fully blown attached to the wheel a table it's already a thing yeah they exist they exist with cup holders on and everything people doing them for takeaways what the fuck I don't know so they exist I'm really sorry it's okay it must have been a real high and then a deep I genuinely was like this is it should already book a spot on Dragon's Day then.

7:16That's it. And she can't back out. She's actually got to go on now. Yeah. She has to come up with something else. Rosie I don't think you've really thought this through. She'll come up with it the day before. It's fine. Do you know I arrive on the drive so many times and you're just on the drive sitting in your car. Do me emails. Just sitting in the car on the drive. Do me emails. I pull up my eye and I look and she's just in the other car and I'm like what the fuck. Just sitting there. I think because when I go in the house because there's just loads of stuff to do. That's what it is, I think.

7:40It's just like dishes and just shit. Kids. Kids. We've got two, haven't you? That's what it is. Yeah, we've got two kids. You've got one. Daughter. How old? Five. Nice. We've got five. Our youngest is five. Our youngest is five. Yeah, great. Good age. Yes, really good. Yeah? Yeah, she's super fun. It's lovely. I mean, it's knackering. Oh, yeah, of course it is. I can't work out. I keep trying to work out if I'm in the perimenopause or if I'm just in the busiest phase of my life. Sorry, Rosie wasn't just talking about that. Rosie's always talking about that. Carry on. How old are you? You don't mind me asking.

8:11I'm 40. You're 40, yeah. Whether I'm, I can't work out whether I'm just like, well, I'm on tour and I'm writing stuff and I'm a mum, so that's a lot of busy things to be doing. Yeah. Or whether my energy levels are dropping off. They are because I had my first one at 29 and I was a lot happier than I am now. Just happier as in... No, just dealt with it better. I mean, I laughed at that and now I feel like... I dealt with it better. Now I feel mean. No, it's true. I dealt with it better. You dealt with what? Parenting in general? Just life. Life. Really? Like, I was just a bit happier. No, that's not a bad thing.

8:49You were doing fuck all. I was not doing fuck all. What were you doing? I worked on the radio for six months. Right, okay. Local... Are you honestly going to do this to me? I'm not. What I'm saying is you've got a lot of responsibilities and pressure now. Maybe. But I just think I'm older and I might be going through the very men pose. And I'm just the dips. How old are you? I'm going to be 40 in August. Same age? Yeah. 86 babies? Yeah. What month? January. Nice. I'm already done. What date? 18th. Oh, okay. My best friend is the 7th. I'm 30th of August. Oh, so you were one of the littlest. Oh my God.

9:25I was literally like, did terrible in my GCSEs. Didn't do, copied through my whole way through school because. Because you were a year younger. Well, my friends are all teachers and they're like, Rosie, you, like, because I always say, like, I really struggled at school. Like, I couldn't keep up. And they were like, yeah, because you were a year younger than everybody else. And I'm like, oh, my God. I wish I'd stayed back and gone. I buy that in the infant school. I don't buy that when you're 15, 16. I just don't buy it. Yeah, because you're always a year behind if you're computing. But you've been doing the same stuff.

9:55Yeah, but my, I was like. So was I, I'm August the 3rd and I got fucking grade GCSEs. Oh, God. Maybe you're just stupid. are you going to go on them 27 days? You were 27 days younger than me. I'm August 3rd and I did A star, two A's, five B's, five C's. And you're still talking about it. I've achieved nothing since then. All right, fair enough, I'm just not that clever. Yeah, you're just stupid. Susie's just been really nice to you here. No, I found school really hard as well. I hated school. Did you? Yeah, I found school very difficult, but I'm dyslexic as well. Are you dyslexic? Oh, nice. Oh, that is nice.

10:31It's not incorrectly. But I can imagine because my brother... Cool, yeah, it is. And I didn't realise that. No, I know. It takes a while. Very good. My brother's dyslexic as well, but never really got any sort of help at school. You got 15 minutes extra in exams, but they did just sort of make you through like the thick kid. They're like, okay, so that's finished, except for everybody in the... No way. Like, hello. No. So we all got up and left on a certain way. Yeah, but everyone else got up and left, and then I was like, I've got another 15 minutes to look at these questions that mean fuck all.

11:01that I'm not answering that anyway. That's fucking dreadful. Yeah. That's, I had no idea. Yeah. But you're talking dreadful. I could have done with an extra 15 fucking minutes. Yeah, not medically. You're just stupid. We've just been over there. Brilliant. You're just lazy. Are you all right? No, I don't. This does feel like couples therapy. Oh, it is. Oh my God. That's all this is. Starting or growing your own business can be intimidating and lonely at times. Your to-do list may feel endless with new tasks and lists can easily begin to overrun your life. So finding the right tool that not only helps you out, but simplifies everything as a built-in business partner can be a game changer.

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13:10Pick a meal to pick a side. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Participate in McDonald's while supplies last. In a classroom of sodas, most stay quiet. Then there's Mr. Pibb Sweet cherry Bold outburst The kind of flavour That gets attention Bold kick of cherry And you're Mr. Pibb Tell us about your show This is why you're here Yes Are you on tour now Or are you going on tour I'm on tour now You're on tour currently Yes I am The Juggle it's called The Juggle Because you have to name your show Before you write it The horrible innit Yeah Absolutely horrible The classic thing And then I knew that it would be I mean Like any of us like doing a job, being a parent.

13:52Then we're also at that age where our parents are getting a little bit older. Not that I have to look after even my parents at all now, but like I'm just sort of more aware of that. There's just a lot of things that I'm, and I don't think this is specific to people that work in our industry. I think it's anyone. And so it started off sort of being, I had bits and bobs about that sort of trying to do a lot of things. And then the show sort of shifted while I was in, while I was doing warmup shows a bit. and what the broad thing of what the show is about is as I said to you earlier I've got a five-year-old daughter she's brilliant and she currently has the highest opinion of me of anyone in the world oh she thinks I'm great yeah they do oh they do for a while yeah she thinks I'm brilliant yeah and the show is about me trying to be as good as she thinks I am that's a love I love that so it's really um it was nice and it's nice and broad I had lots of stories I could already dip into i had stuff about myself growing up that i'd never told on stage before stories about you know the the point where you realize your parents are just having a go you know because i feel like a day will come when she goes oh you're just trying at this you don't know what the fuck you're doing and i remember the moment that i thought that about my dad um and so i had these bits and bobs and i wanted to it's a really theatrical show so there's like there's lighting states and voice things and nice love that yeah well i'm from like a theater big fun yeah well I'm from a theatre background.

15:12I went to drama school and then growing up, I did lots of musical theatre. I was really heavily into musical theatre as a kid. And so I wanted to do a show that was... I've done a lot of stand-up shows that are just stand-up. This is my fifth or sixth tour. And I really loved those shows and I'm always super physical. But this time I was like, I want to write a theatre show. But it's like a one-woman show. It's definitely stand-up. It's definitely funny all the way through. But I've got a theatre director. Love that. I never need help writing my stand-up. It's always just me that writes my stand-up.

15:44But I wanted someone to look at it with like, oh, you could have a lighting change here. Oh, my God. And you could do that here. And it goes to this. Please come. You're very welcome whenever you want to come. But, yeah, so it's, I'm really proud of it. I'm really proud of it. Because there are shows where you're like, I think this is a good show. I think the show stands up. I'm really, but you have different shows. But at the moment, I think I'm like, I'm the best. This is the best show that I've done for me. because it is like a it's something a bit more theatrical it's something a bit more like the characters big i can do big act outs it's very physical and um and it's the first time i've ever done both 45s usually i'd take support with me but i was like i want to do both 45s so it's like oh oh it's a proper show it's a proper me and sean walsh earlier on a day we're just talking about how fucking awful that is to do like fuck i'm not joking i've done it a couple of times i've had to go off after my first 45 and I honestly would pay any money in the world and not have to go back on.

16:43So fair play to you. Like, yeah, I mean, honestly, I get the support on. Sorry, I get the support on. I have the interval. I go on. I do an hour and 10. I go home. Really? You don't, you don't see them before the interval. Yeah, I don't go on beforehand. No, no, no. So he'll go on. Carl Hutchinson goes on. Then an interval. Then me. Hour and 10. Done. But people that come and see you must know that Carl's on because you guys have toured together for years, right? Yeah, yeah. Well, I give him a big up in there. I do an offstage. big up in their thing you know welcome and if you've seen me before you'll have seen him on all this and he's brilliant he can turn he can turn the deadest audience in the world into an audience ready for a show he's fantastic that's so good isn't it yeah he's brilliant I remember doing a weekend he's one of my best friends so it's actually fine I remember doing a weekend at the store with him years ago I've had a gig I've had a handful of times but he was just really we just had a couple of really nice chats and I haven't really seen him since you know but you're like oh this is nice you're nice let's just have a little chit chat and we had a nice time together So you do 245s.

17:34That is, that's big boy pants, that like. Do you reckon? I think it is. I think that's proper. Because again, me and Walsh were just talking about how, we're like, oh God, I don't want to do it. I don't want to go back out. It's like, what are you doing in the interval? I know what it is. What do you do in the interval?

17:50I do a crossword. Love that. So that I don't look at my phone. That's brilliant. So the shows, I take the show in front of me. Yeah. For when I'm doing my makeup. And I'll just like, just gently look at it. So I know that it's there. And then during the interview, I have a cup of tea. Sometimes a little bit of chocolate just to keep the sugar up. Nice. And then I'll do a crossword. That's really good. Because I kind of hate my phone. Yes. But I need my phone. I love it, but I hate it. Yeah. I mean, it's really difficult. And there was a period where I would like go on stage during the intervals of my shows.

18:22And now I don't go on Instagram or anything after the shows. Because what I found that I started doing was that I'd have a tour show. and I'd be like, that was great. They all laughed. They all clapped. That was lovely. And then I'd get in the car for the journey home and I'd go on to Instagram and I'd need people to tell me again how great I am. And I was like, this is insane. At the moment, they all laughed. They all clapped. It's the most honest, instant feedback you'll ever get. Absolutely. But then it was like, well, that world can never be full. If I've just been told that I did a great show and then I need them to tell me in a different way through a different medium.

19:05All you're going to possibly get out of that that you didn't get in the room is the one person in the back left-hand corner who you didn't say you didn't like it who maybe is going to tell you that they didn't. I don't need that in my life. Or I'll just go, there are 400 people in tonight but I've only had 10 messages. And you go, that's insane. I know. I can't. Yeah. We can't live like this. Why aren't they telling me it's all good? like how much can how much can i be told that i'm gonna be sick so i've um yeah what what what i don't know what the percentage on that is what 0.4 kickback oh my god yeah but it's crazy it's like you can't i think that i mean i don't know if it's the same with you chris doing like stand-up stand like whether like it's it's so much so much of my stand-up and it might be the same for you Rosie like so much of my uh self-worth has always been so heavily linked to my career yeah that like I got to a stage where I was like I really need to like not make this like it it needs to I need to do like the show be proud of the show the show is the work and then kind of everything that happens around that yeah I have to kind of like let go.

20:18I've never actually heard it said like that. Yeah. But mine isn't. But I think yours, I don't want to speak for you. I think you put a lot of self-worth on how you're doing in your career. Yeah. Mine's my mum and dad. I love that. Mine is like as long as my... I hope my daughter says that. Honestly, and I don't know if my parents know the power they have on us in a lovely way. Like genuinely, as long... What? That's just nice of you. Oh, no, just as long as my mum and dad are proud of us and happy with what I'm doing. I don't really care about anybody else's opinion. What's that like? Is that big?

20:54Is that deep? Oh, God, is that weird? That must be amazing. I need strangers to tell me I'm brilliant. I'm joking. I didn't mean to go deep. It's just it's true. I think let's go deep. Yeah, let's go fucking deep. Let's go deep. No, I think that, yeah, my worth has always been the price other people have given me. Right. And so I, but, you know, I have had to sort of work out how to not do that because otherwise I think that you're because that that opens you up to being so obviously if you get negative that must be really really hard yeah I'm like which it which I know it is I mean I this isn't an invitation by the way listeners if you've ever seen me and not liked me but I've rarely had sort of anyone being like you're terrible at stand-up even though I'm sure some people don't like what I do but I've never really had that the only stuff that I've ever got is like sort of really horrible homophobia and so that that's sort of the weird thing of like oh god well if i take everyone else's opinion do you really hate me and you really don't like yeah so it's you just got to be um mindful of like and i think especially when you're like going on stage every night like stand-up is so revealing yeah you're you are naked yeah i mean i've got clothes on don't don't expect them all star for me yeah like it's really in the moment and it's really in the room.

22:11You can't really, you can't sort of, it's not like if you're in a play with lots of other people and you can. Oh, you can't hide from it at all. Yeah. And so it's like, your day is your day. It's hard. I've never done it, but when we did the tour. Yeah, because you did the live shows, don't you? We did the live show and the second half of the show was completely unscripted and I was just, I remember some nights going, what the fuck? Like I'm used to singing and dancing on stage or just having something to fall back on and it was fucking terrifying. So I've never done actual stand-up comedy, but I can imagine like...

22:44Well, I think it's a similar thing. It's just how exposing it can feel. So you've never had anyone telling you, like online, make you bad at comedy? You mustn't be getting my messages. Do you know, back in the days of Twitter, and I'm sure people have been like, I don't get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I don't really care. I'm like, oh, if you don't get it, like that's okay. Like, I guess the ones that I've received have been, It's more about people that I want to like me telling me I'm good at stuff. You know? I get it. I don't think you're alone in that. I think that's a normal feeling. I think everybody to an extent.

23:19And I think it's very normal for stand-ups. Definitely. The more I meet, the more I understand. My little fucking puppies. Yeah. Good point, good girl. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Little dancing dogs. Oh, for sure. Get my taps out. What's your favourite musical theatre show? oh that's hard or top three if you want no no no I mean it sort of depends what day it is love a bit of Sondheim oh yeah like you know love a bit of Sondheim love a bit Company is probably my favourite Sondheim musical nice love a chorus line love the opening number lovely it's great watched a lot of that when I was a kid like watched and listened to a lot of that as a kid growing up then you know love the big shows love a bit of Les Mis sure that's my favourite I know it's so like oh Liz Miserables Love Lesbeth Rables Love it You've seen Lesbeth Rables Yeah yeah It's great Yeah But I'll go and see Anything Yeah same You know and I love watching People Like being I love watching people like I think you can tell When you watch a show Like people like thriving Oh my god People like doing like the thing That they f***ing love Yeah It's a lovely thing to witness It's unreal Are you enjoying the tour?

24:30I'm loving it Yeah Yeah I really I don't know about you But when I During During, I mean, it feels like a thousand years ago now, but I remember during lockdown when we couldn't gig, a lot of my comedy mates were like, oh, it's great not gigging. I really missed it. I was devastated. I feel like you were like me. My first gig after Strictly. So I did Strictly, did all the dancing, and then the Strictly lot did the tour, the arena tour, the Strictly tour, which they asked us to go on numerous times, but I said, no, I'm writing me stand-up tour. Only reason I've done this is to sell me stand-up tour.

25:01My first night in March was Hackney Empire. sold out that night he told people not to go to restaurants and bars did you do the show no I didn't cancelled the show because you had a breakdown a full full breakdown I was on I was on well then thankfully the podcast kept us going I was on a birthday cake a week well there you go I was just going to the shop what kind just a Madeira sponge just you know Sonic the Hedgehog cake Mario cake whatever happened to be in the shops to the point of where my birthday rolled around and I wasn't asked about cake because I'd been having one a week I didn't actually get you a cake for your birthday I didn't get one because what's the point?

25:35Wow, you're type 2 diabetes by then.

25:41I am your host, Stassi Schroeder. Welcome to Tell Me Lies, the official podcast. What's the most unhinged thing of season three? Steven, because he's so evil. I do think he is misunderstood. You see everyone face consequences. It's intoxicating. The writers just know how to trick you. There's always a twist in this show. It's nothing you would expect. Tell Me Lies, the official podcast now streaming and stream the new season of Tell Me Lies on Hulu and Hulu on Disney+. With Plan B Emergency Contraception, we're in control of our future. It's backup birth control you take after unprotected sex that helps prevent pregnancy before it starts.

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27:02Our best line-up is here at Lowe's. Valid through 422, while supplies last. Selection varies by location. See lowes.com for details. The soil offer excludes Alaska and Hawaii. But yeah, I feel like we're cut from the same cloth in that we like, love it. Yeah. I love it. Yeah, you've got a little spark. I've got a little spark back. Because I didn't do it for ages. because we did the podcast, we did this, and I just didn't do one. It's been amazing because I've stayed at home loads to our five-year-old. I fucking changed more of his nappies than I did of the 10-year-old. I'm telling you, man, because when the 10-year-old, I went back on tour when he was 10 days old, didn't I?

27:38But the youngest one I've seen... Oh, my God, that's hard for you. It's crazy. Oh, yeah. And now that I'm back, I'm probably a month and a bit into the tour, and I'm absolutely buzzing to be back on tour. Here's a question. I just talked about this on our recent podcast. I still have moments on stage where I'm on there talking and I look out in the crowd and I see them all sitting in their little seats and they're looking at us and they're laughing and I think, what the fuck are you lot doing here? What are you doing sitting listening to me talk? What the hell? And I can't believe me look that they're there.

28:08Yeah, I do. Yeah, I still get that. This is mad. Yeah, I love that. I see them coming in. Yeah. And I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, I feel like I think it's a privilege. I think it's not cool, is it, to be like, I love, like the cooler thing to do in comedy is to be like, oh, audience is really hard work. You know, and I think to be kind of down on it. Yeah. But I fucking love it. I love doing comedy. I feel like so lucky that I get to do this with my life. That's lush. It's such a joy. It's such a joy. We love these days with all you lot coming in and talking to everyone. We love this, don't we?