Around The World In 60 Minutes | Reading Reddit Stories

12:30Shayne Topp:Of course it is, of course. Because when you started naming the titles, a little part of me was like, is this an AI thing? I don't think I've ever heard. Carl the Daddy is AI? I've never heard an AI. Horny Robots wrote this? Well, because they're just like, it's somebody just entering prompts in any genre. I've said it in Uber where they listened. The whole time, I was looking at the album cover, and I was like, this is AI. And it was all AI, and the guy just kept listening to it. I was like, really, dude? Like, we're just going to listen to this AI slob? Wait. What? That's so funny. And every, like, picture was this, like, old man with tears.

13:11Shayne Topp:Oh, God. On his eyes. And it was, like, this kind of, like, grungy crooner type music. Did you tell him? No. I just, like, sat there and was like, I hate this. But then I, like, went. I had to look further. And just every photo was this, like, old man crying with, like, roses. and everything was like, I miss my daughter. I still miss her. Oh, so it was like country? No, it was like, it was like, is lunar rock like.

13:45Ian Hecox:Isn't it crazy to think like some of these people who like they're all like all in on AI, they're living in the matrix, but like it's a weird bizarro matrix.

13:54Shayne Topp:Yeah. With like grungy crooner music. But I don't think they even know it's AI. And that's what I mean.

14:01Ian Hecox:Isn't that terrifying that they're listening to stuff and they don't realize everything that is around them is made up? Or worse, they don't care. AI music is sounding legit. I'm sure. Well, it's because all it's doing is copying, right? It can only take what is made and then. Playful Devotion. What a cool name.

14:19Shayne Topp:And you can generate that stuff so quick on certain apps. So you can create an album in like a day. So if you're one of these like, oh, I'm an AI producer, you can literally make 50 albums in probably a week and just put it all out on Spotify. This guy spent so much money on his face. You know what I mean? Yeah. To just play AI.

14:43Ian Hecox:Someone else said, I personally don't think you're overreacting. There is a certain expectation in environments like that. Uber driving is a way for him to make money. He should have a certain amount of professionalism and decorum. Just as he shouldn't be keeping his car a hoarder rat's nest. He shouldn't be playing such inappropriate music at such an inappropriate volume. How do you know he has a hoarder's nest? A hoarder's nest. Yeah. They're saying like you need to keep it clean and like you're, yeah, you're running a business. Be a little profesh. This person went in on him. I get that. I wasn't even there.

15:13Ian Hecox:Someone said, oh my God, I didn't even hit play and the cover for that song is already wild. I'm listening to it while I'm typing. And this is the craziest fucking thing to play when someone says anything. you'd think he'd go for something safe. All right, so we have the lyrics. And I think this is - Do we have the album cover too? No, we do not have the album cover. We just have, this is the chorus. We're going to have to bleep all of this. Ooh, the chorus. I think it's mostly going to be bleeped.

15:40Shayne Topp:Okay. I feel like I'm going to feel really uncomfortable hearing Shane read this. Oh, I'm so ready.

15:47Ian Hecox:Oh, Amanda's heard me say way worse things. Oh, is that true? Well, this is maybe the worst thing I'm ever going to have said on this show. All right, cool. But, yeah. So the chorus goes, fuck me raw, take it hard, break the bed, leave in scars, grip my cock, ride me rough, scream my name, fuck the stars.

16:08Shayne Topp:Fuck the stars? Alpha Centauri!

16:14Ian Hecox:Guy who just watched Project Hail Mary. Okay, scream my name, fuck the stars, Pussy clenching, door wide open. Give me all that nasty art. I'm going to ruin you perfect, baby. Tear your good girl apart.

16:35Ian Hecox:I fear, yeah, this guy should not be driving an Uber. No, that's insane. If he's blasting that, this guy, no. That last line just ripped me up. Wow. You know what I'm saying? So he heard that song and he's like, I'm going to keep playing more from this artist. As a good girl, like, man. That tore me up. It was awful. Okay. This guy should absolutely be reported. Jail. Humans create AI and they're like, how do we make it the most fucked up thing ever? And we want to say that we don't support AI. No, fuck it. We support real artists. Yeah. I mean, there's no like.

17:12Shayne Topp:There's no progression in those lyrics. It's just like. It's not just hard. Yeah.

17:16Ian Hecox:It's written by something without a soul. So, yeah. I mean, who would want to break their bed? those are really expensive. I know. In this economy? How are you going to sleep at night? Anyways, yeah, I think if we haven't made our stance clear, AI sucks. Like what? A huge one. At 1 a.m.? Come on, buddy. Blast in the bass? Is it a bass?

17:37Shayne Topp:AI BDSM music at 1 a.m. Yeah,

17:41Ian Hecox:AI BDSM music at 1 a.m. And it's that horrible.

17:46Shayne Topp:Jesus. Yeah, I think you should go to jail now. She should absolutely report him. And be like, from the good girl. Yeah. Report him to the UN. This is a... To the UN. Yeah, this is a crime against humanity. Wow, Phoenix, Arizona. Or Arizona.

18:06Ian Hecox:I can't be too surprised that dudes in Arizona love AI. Why? Truly why, though? I don't know. Is there... Because there's, like, no good music happening? I don't know, man. Every day I get online and I see some other AI bullshit.

18:20Shayne Topp:Also, just saying, don't go find this music and play it. Don't go and play it.

18:27Ian Hecox:The best thing you can do is simply not give it any attention.

18:31Shayne Topp:Yeah.

18:32Ian Hecox:But you can talk shit about it. I mean, talk shit about AI. But don't look at it. Don't give it any attention. Avert your eyes and ears. All right. Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole? This was posted in September of 2022. to, am I the asshole for turning around in my car when I saw that my boyfriend brought his friends with him to go on a trip with us?

18:54Shayne Topp:Oh, so unannounced, like, brought it, like, they had a trip planned and he brought his

18:59Ian Hecox:friends without telling her.

19:00Shayne Topp:Cool. He's like, I got the boys. I don't, yeah, I don't, I do not get it.

19:05Ian Hecox:I, a 30-year-old woman, am dating my boyfriend, Smith, who's 39, for eight plus months. We have been planning to go on a road trip, but it couldn't happen because he kept insisting that we let his two friends tag along. He brought it up again and promised that he won't ask me to let him bring his friends with him since, one, I'm the one paying for the expenses. Two, it's my car. Three, I always wanted us to go alone for once without having his friends tag along. And four, I don't want to pay for his friends. That's kind of going back to one, but I think it's fair to double down on it. We get it.

19:40Shayne Topp:Before we get further story, do you think he's fucking the boys? Yeah. Okay. I think he's fucking the boys. What? He wants to go for a ride with the boys. With the boys. You know what I'm saying? He's like, I can't go anywhere without my boys. That was one of my thoughts. And he goes, sorry. Oh my God. Sorry. Ian, I'm over here. You did that to my shoe.

20:01Ian Hecox:Apologize to her shoe. Sorry. Sorry, shoe. All right. We agreed that I'd come pick him up in the morning so we could go. I came in my car and entered his neighborhood. However, when I saw him standing outside with his bag, his two friends were also standing there with their bags. I was shocked and furious. I didn't pull over. I just turned around and kept driving and went back home.

20:24Shayne Topp:That's so awesome. I love this. I think it would have been a little bit better if it was like she just rolled out and was like, fuck you. No, I think the silent just turning around and just leaving. I love this. You think his boy's like, is she like getting gas or something? She's lost. No, no, no. She's definitely coming back. She probably just, like, forgot something at home.

20:43Ian Hecox:I saw him running after me in the rearview mirror.

20:47Shayne Topp:Babe, wait. Babe, wait.

20:49Ian Hecox:He then stopped and started calling me. I did not respond until I got home. He lashed out on me on the phone asking why the hell I turned around and left. I told him why and how I didn't appreciate how he basically tried to force me to take his friends with us after I said no already. He called me awful and said that I ruined the entire thing for us and acted immaturely and spitefully. He said I could have just accepted how it is. But I told him that I would never accept being put in a situation where I'm expected to just suck it up. He hung up after yelling at me for a few minutes. I called back but got no response.

21:22Ian Hecox:He texted about how I embarrassed him in front of his friends and is refusing to speak to me until after I apologize. Am I the asshole for turning around in my car and going home? Did I make the right call? Yes. Yeah, I think you did. You did. You crushed it, girl. I love it. Like, what?

21:38Shayne Topp:I'm so confused. She asked, she said she asked that she wanted just a trip with just them. And so he heard that and now he's saying that she ruined everything.

21:51Ian Hecox:Yes. Because she didn't accept how it is. She's like, you should just accept how it is. No, that's... Like, hey, I'm completely breaking your boundaries. But you need to just accept that. No, she did the right thing. I think that's It's not even a red flag. If you tell someone no to something and they just try to sneak it or they keep pushing, that's to me like you shouldn't be in a relationship with that person.

22:14Shayne Topp:There's some crazy breakdown in communication in this relationship. I just don't think he listens at all. I think this happens a lot with Reddit where it's just like you've said the thing and yet they keep doing it. And a lot of it is like they want to bring their friends on a trip or on a date.

22:29Ian Hecox:There's a lot of that. Why? It's just a lot of disrespect for her. He probably just doesn't like her. Yeah. Also, she's paying for all of this. So he's like, this is a way for me to get a trip with my boys. Well, I'm thinking that he doesn't actually want to be alone with her. He sounds like a bum. Yeah, he doesn't sound like he likes her. The amount of stories we read on Reddit where it's like one of them, but it is oftentimes when we're reading these stories, it's like the boyfriend or the husband is just like, you just don't like her. You just don't like her. The fuck? Why be with her? and why what was he gonna say when he caught up to her car that's what I want to know like roll it down roll it down hey hey my friends want to come come on my friends hey hey hey hey My foot, Amy, my foot!

23:20Hey!

23:21Ian Hecox:Hey! Hey! He's dangling, like dragging.

23:24Shayne Topp:Hey!

23:25Ian Hecox:She finally barks, he's like, hey. Hey.

23:29Shayne Topp:Hey. I think it's crazy to me that he can't comprehend going on a trip with just her, which is what makes me be like, oh, so you just don't enjoy being around. This is what we're talking about. Like, this is a great test for a relationship. You go on a trip together with no one else, and you just see if you can work it out. Clearly, he's not even willing to give it a shot. He doesn't want to. Also, what is the deal with the friends? I don't know. Here's what I think. They're not getting the full story, but, like, why would you want to sit there and be like, I can't wait to go on a trip with you here.

24:10Ian Hecox:She's going to be the fourth. It's two of his friends. They're going on their trip. and she's there paying for it all. Yeah. I don't get it.

24:20Shayne Topp:She's just being taken advantage of fully. I just don't get it. Well, if the boys don't go, then who's going to give them a hand to you? Jesus. Jesus. If you want to.

24:28Ian Hecox:I just think there's a lot of guys that just, they're not friends with women. They can't comprehend that. So this is just like. That is such a good point. He's not. They're not friends with any woman. I don't think that that is like you instinctually know that. I don't think you automatically know how to be friends with women. I think it's like, I don't know if that's like learned or you naturally have that, but I don't think all men, I don't know.

24:56Shayne Topp:I don't know. I mean, we're not like, I guess we're not like usually socialized like in school. Which is such a bummer. I feel like in school it's always like boys and girls like play separately.

25:07Ian Hecox:There are values that are unfortunately taught. Like it's not like, I don't think it's like an inherent thing, but I think it's values that are taught. Like, societally, at least, like, American society teaches a lot of this. So maybe it is instinctual, but then it's, like, taught out of them.

25:22Shayne Topp:I don't know.

25:23Ian Hecox:Like, I just think a lot of guys are taught, like, to just not, they don't respect women on, like, a deep level to, like, truly be, like. Because I think to really be close, genuine friends, it's, like, a mutual respect.

25:33Shayne Topp:Yeah.

25:33Ian Hecox:But, I mean, we're, I don't know if we're reading too much into it. Like, either way, she made the right choice. Probably. Like, ditch this guy. I would love to know how fast she was going. But that's probably not in there. Is it in there? If he was chasing after her, residential, yeah. Where's the speed? She's going 30. Verdict is not the asshole. Comments, he's 39. Yeah, that's what's blowing my mind.

25:59Shayne Topp:Because I was like, when you said 39, I looked at him and I was like. I'm also not surprised, though, by it.

26:05Ian Hecox:Because it's like, what would change this guy? Like, you know, like you set in your ways of that. I don't know, middle age? No, but there are 39-year-olds who are just like, ah, fuck it. Like, I feel like I sit here and be like, come on, 39. And then I'm like, I don't know. It's a different world right now. Some people decide that they're right. Some people decide that, like, oh, how I think is right. And so it's like, great, you're never going to change. That's what it is. He's not actually listening to her boundaries. He's 39 and wants his girlfriend to pay for it and chauffeur his friends and lie to get you to do it, then accuse you of acting immaturely.

26:42Ian Hecox:that sound you hear is a giant red flag flapping in the wind. Run fast, run far, my friend. Not the asshole. No, straight up. Yeah.

26:49Shayne Topp:Like, it's, and it's not gonna get better for him, I fear.

26:52Ian Hecox:No.

26:53Shayne Topp:Like, I feel like, I feel like if he's behaving this way at 39, it's just gonna, it's never gonna change. Yeah. You know?

27:00Ian Hecox:Someone said, please, please, please tell me that this is now an ex-boyfriend, not the asshole, and I'm clapping for what you did. OP said, I stopped calling him and am reconsidering the relationship at the moment. Yeah. I hope she... What can you do? Do not ever talk to that guy again. Yeah, you can't move past that. Yeah, I don't think you move past that shit. Because that's like a major boundary, you know, a huge red flag. How are you ever going to do anything together? Yeah. Travel together, move in together, make decisions together.

27:29Shayne Topp:That level of disrespect, man, don't tolerate that. I couldn't imagine just showing up to pick somebody up on a trip and they just decided to bring extra people. To try to sneak... That's insane. Like I said earlier, to lay down a boundary, to lay down to agree and then sneak it.

27:46Ian Hecox:To him, he's going, I can take advantage of you. I'll take advantage of you and I'll do this. And you might be mad at me, but I'll be like, it's fine. And then I'll be able to, I know I can do it again and I can keep doing it and I can keep pushing further and further.

27:57Shayne Topp:And he knows exactly what he, I think that's the worst part. He knows exactly what he's doing when he does that. Because he knows, like, I think it seems pretty clear that she made it clear to him. I'm like, I don't want your friends on this trip. Okay, sure, babe, sure, babe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're good. He didn't hear her. I mean, it's one thing to bring someone to dinner and be like, yeah, they were with me. It's like, but still, I don't know. If you guys are, if you're close with your partner, they would at least be like, hey, Bobo's coming. You're on the same page. Yeah. You're on the same page.

28:30Ian Hecox:Like, if there's going to be something that's like not communicated, it's because you already know each other so well that you know it's not going to be a problem. Yeah. but that's not the case here uh last comment someone said not the asshole recommend you keep this guy in the rearview mirror nice nice god i love it uh i love redditors sometimes sometimes they really crush you know that guy that person they wrote it in they're like all right and they shut their laptop and they got into bed they got into bed their partner was like how was reddit and they go i was on fire i was on fire shall we listen to playful devotion shall we break the

29:10Shayne Topp:grab my penis and

29:16Shayne Topp:break my bed with your butt yeah with your butt i don't know i break your bed with your butt yeah that's something else

29:29Ian Hecox:That's just called jumping on the bed. Yeah. Yay. That's called, um, okay. Okay. Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole. It was posted in April of 2026, this year. Okay. Am I the asshole for charging my friend$800 after she left me four hours from home? What? Becky, who's 31, 31-year-old woman, and I, a 31-year-old woman, have been best friends for 20 years. In high school, we became close with Ryan and Daniel, and the four of us did everything together. Becky has always been fixated on Ryan. If he liked a girl, she would tear her apart or make passive-aggressive comments until it was uncomfortable.

30:11Ian Hecox:When he had girlfriends, she would openly criticize them and act like they weren't good enough for him. Eventually, she started doing the same thing to me. She would make comments to downplay my friendship with Ryan or subtly compare us, like she needed to prove she mattered more. It felt competitive for no reason, but I ignored it for years. Fast forward to Ryan's wedding last month. Becky and I drove together and shared a hotel. The passive aggressive comments started again. She said I would not even be at the wedding if it was not for her, even saying things like that in front of other people.

30:42Ian Hecox:Later in the hotel, she complained that Ryan did not spend enough time with her. She actually said, sorry to you and Daniel, but he should at least want to spend time with me. After years of this, I snapped and said, what a weird thing to say out loud. Yes! And then I just fucking punched her. She immediately escalated and said, oh, what? You really think that Ryan and I aren't better friends? And brought up that he asked her to help design the engagement ring. I said, I don't care who's closer. Exactly. But it's weird that you care this much. It's not our fault you're in love with him. damn

31:22Shayne Topp:she pulled up the punch with a but like this is what like a friend a friend of 20 years you should be able to be like straight up with absolutely 20 years you should be around the wedding but this is bitter this is

31:36Ian Hecox:bitter yeah god like you're friends of the groom or bride it's like your job is to not only not cause drama your job is to like quell the drama for your friend.

31:49Shayne Topp:Geez. I wonder if she's like upset that she wasn't like invited to the bachelor party or something. You know? I don't know. I think she's upset that she's not marrying Ryan. Yeah, that's what

31:59Ian Hecox:this story is. And she only has one person to take it out on, this friend. Yeah. She stormed out and instead of coming back she drove off and left me stranded four hours away with no way to get back. The next morning I couldn't rent a car because I only had a debit card so my only option was a same day flight back to where I live across the country, which cost$800. I sent her an angry text and a Venmo request. She hasn't responded, and we haven't spoken in a month. I'll admit saying she's in love with him was harsh, and the text I sent after was not my best moment. We're supposed to talk tomorrow.

32:33Ian Hecox:Am I the asshole?

32:35Shayne Topp:Look, okay, so, I mean, she was right on the money with, like, that she's still in love with him, and, like, I'm sure that was, like, the final straw. for her. I don't think she's going to get that money, though. No. I don't think there's a shot she's going to get that money.

32:54Ian Hecox:But she's asking, am I the asshole for requesting it? For requesting it, it's like, hey, you left, because we did, if you had plans to drive back together, and they just ditched you, it's like, I get that it's probably more of a symbolic request at this stage of like, hey, fuck you. You know what you did to me, and you can't just get away with this without acknowledging like you betrayed me yeah yeah no she did a

33:21Shayne Topp:really messed up thing i mean like i think maybe i would ask for like half i would say not the asshole but like hey she didn't think you were gonna get an 800 ticket it is a little fucked up that she left her in the middle of nowhere yeah but why are you traveling around with only

33:36Ian Hecox:a debit card girl i'm looking at the emotional like friendship side of this right like and there is also, I'm a little confused, it's four hours away, but she took a flight across the country.

33:46Shayne Topp:Yeah, four hours. Yeah, I don't know. Four hours away from what? Four hours away.

33:49Ian Hecox:There must be some travel situation. Is there a giant mountain between? I just think she is shitty. This friend is so shitty for leaving her stranded. We've read a lot of stories where if you travel together somewhere, you have that responsibility. Absolutely. It's not like OP fucking attacked her. It's not like OP did something horrible. They had a fight. They, like, said some painful things. And it could have even been out of line. It's still like, hey, as long as you're not, you know, I don't know, saying something absolutely awful and out of line, like, horribly. But you don't leave someone stranded.

34:27Ian Hecox:You don't leave someone stranded. Like, friends should be able to have these types of moments and, like, come back together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, I don't know. This is a little shitty, maybe. I'm going to, like, I'm just throwing this out there. Okay. Let's go. Would the friend be that upset if what she said wasn't true? No, that's what I'm saying. She's upset because it's like if you said, hey, you're in love with them and it's not true at all, you'd be like, no, that's not true. I'm not bothered by like. She is clearly in love. It's like you hit it. You hit the target. And she didn't want to face it.

34:55So that's why she couldn't even be in the same car with her. But she left her alone. She didn't even stay for the wedding.

35:01Shayne Topp:I was going to say, she left before the wedding, right?

35:02Ian Hecox:She left before the wedding.

35:03Shayne Topp:Yeah.

35:04Ian Hecox:So she just bounced. She is upset. She's not really being loyal to any of her friends. No. I think this was probably, going to the wedding was probably really difficult for her.

35:18Shayne Topp:And then her friend saying, you know, you're in love with that guy was like the final straw because it was true. Unfortunately, what she needed, not OP, but the other friend, what she needed was a friend in that moment. Because that does suck to be in love with someone forever. They don't want you, but they want to be friends with you. You're going to their wedding. It must be really hard. But she didn't handle it well. She just, she put all of her pain on her friends.

35:45Ian Hecox:Yeah, she was taking it out on all the wrong ways for years. And it sounds like they never really leveled with each other for years. Based on this, she's like talking about like, this friend's been acting for so long. It's like, and you never talked. You never talked. Like, because if this friend came to her and was like, dude, I have feelings for Ryan. and it's really painful to be his friend. It's like, then you get to fucking talk. Right. And then if you have that conversation, then by the time you get here and she's being shitty, it's like, hey, I understand what you're feeling. You cannot take it out on me, whatever.

36:15Ian Hecox:Then you get to be on the same page and deal with that in a more constructive way and help her move past it. It's like, you've got to let go of that at a certain point. I think that's such a relatable, it's such a relatable thing to have feelings for someone that it's not returned. Yeah. And it's weird. It fucking sucks. But then if you're friends, you should be able to talk about it. Absolutely. Especially if it's a friend that's your mutual friends. Like, this isn't the person you're in love with. I think that's hard. I think that's hard. It is very hard. Especially in a female relationship.

36:43Like, it gets really messy and tricky when a friend is involved that's a guy. And, like, you can be friends with someone for 20 years, but you might not say the thing that you really want to say because you don't know how they're going to react.

36:57Ian Hecox:I know, but man. I agree. I agree. I think you should be able to say things. Yeah, absolutely. Well, it's like, this is how you, those things then end friendships. So, like, this friendship got ended by not handling it. It's like, it sucks. This sucks, but. The$800 does suck. Yeah, but. Was that really the only option for the flight? That's what OP's.

37:21Shayne Topp:$800 ticket?

37:22Ian Hecox:That's what OP is saying. But she only had a debit card. She was fucked because her friend abandoned her. So she's like, fuck, man. I now lost$800 because you bounced. without even telling me, like, hey, I'm going to bounce. Like, just left. How could you just leave someone and not even go back?

37:37Shayne Topp:I think because she was that her. She's that her. She was red. Yeah. But, like, at some point you would hope I would,

37:50Ian Hecox:no matter how upset I got about a situation, I'd be like, I can't just leave this person. Like, I got to figure out some way to, like, hey, Like, I do have to make it up to you in some way or another. The verdict is not the asshole. Comments, was this four hours away or across the country? OP said, we met in our hometown. I flew in from out of town, which is four hours away from where the wedding was. But I live across the country. I am in the U.S.

38:17Shayne Topp:Oh, so she would have already had to, she already had a ticket to fly from the hometown. From the hometown.

38:24Ian Hecox:but because there was probably no flights from where she was to where her flight already was. So she had to cancel a flight and then take another flight? So she just left her in a really shitty situation where her travel was messed up.

38:37Shayne Topp:Okay, that makes more sense.

38:38Ian Hecox:Someone said, not the asshole, ditching your friend without a way home is a safety issue. You had every right to be upset, especially when that came with an$800 plane ticket. I wouldn't say she's a friend anymore. Lastly, someone said, unfortunately, you will never get money from her, and I doubt you would win in the small claims court. Best to move on and go no contact with her, not the asshole. I kind of agree with that advice. That's fair. That's tough. $800 is painful. Yeah.

39:03Shayne Topp:Also, like, I don't know if I'd be able to, like, stay friends with somebody that was that unreasonable.

39:08Ian Hecox:I would not be able to. That would be a, like, if you abandoned me in a way where I then have to spend$800, figure out, not only the$800, but just figuring out travel, right? Yeah. Just a nightmare. unless they really come and go I was so out of line I'm so sorry I'm going to pay you back financially in some way or another and also like I need to like unload like and figure this out it requires them to become a new person or else it's like you're just going to get worse I mean at the end of the day 800 bucks is nothing to how painful it's going to be to end a 20 year friendship

39:41Shayne Topp:absolutely I do agree with that that's going to be I feel they were like hometown friends honestly like I don't even think they were that close I don't think so So, sorry. They went to the wedding.

39:50Ian Hecox:They were at the wedding because the friend was complaining that the groom did not spend enough time with her. Got you. And then OP. Before the wedding? During the wedding. During his wedding. Bro. To his bride. She's upset that he's not spending time with her. You are the Lulu, girl. And then OP goes, you're just mad because you're in love with, like, fair. Fair. But I also understand. ending like i'm i'm taking the like view of like these are close friends like i me too 20 years and even if it's like kind of back and forth like 20 years like there's a kind of thing where like even if it's a friend you don't see as often it's like man you're such a big part of my life but it's deep it's deep rooted it's deep rooted that's that's tough to go to jump to no contact i get that yeah but i also understand the like where she's headed where becky is headed it doesn't get it doesn't get better.

40:43Ian Hecox:Like, is this resentment only going to grow? Cause if she can't move past it and she's taking it out on OP, that's only going to get worse and worse. It's like, she's not your friend. She's not being your friend. And is that going to get more and more painful? OP said what was needed to be said. It might just. It just hurts. It might just happen at the wrong time.

40:59Shayne Topp:Yeah. I mean like, it's, it's one of those things where like, you know, if I was, I don't know, if I was in her shoes, I probably just wouldn't have said anything. I would just be like, okay.

41:08Ian Hecox:Like, you know,

41:09Shayne Topp:I get it. There's no reason.

41:11Ian Hecox:But these people do need to hear these things sometimes, right? You hope that it happens in a more calm way.

41:19Shayne Topp:But I think she read her friend wrong. Them's fighting words.

41:24Ian Hecox:It's also probably drinking involved if it's a wedding.

41:28Shayne Topp:Yeah, and then she immediately got in a car and drove away.

41:31Ian Hecox:Yeah, it's not sounding great. We have to be aware of our location next time. I'm saying that to myself, her future. Yeah. You know? it's like you're not you're not what you're saying is correct and you're not wrong for saying it but it's like if you have the ability to plan it out yeah you know if you can be batman with prep time do that but you don't always get prep time yeah i mean it's also that thing where it's like

41:57Shayne Topp:it's like y 'all you're at a wedding like hash it out after but that's what happens it seems like it was a little it is kind of like what i get it i get it but it's also the thing that it's it's

42:09Ian Hecox:happened, and it's like, I bet OP is like, do I wish it happened differently? Sure, but like... Yeah, of course.

42:14Shayne Topp:I just don't even have conversations at weddings. I'm just dancing outtown funk. What? No!

42:19Ian Hecox:Put Primal Devotion on.

42:21Shayne Topp:Yeah. Grandma, Primal Devotion's on. Lick my butt and suck on my nuts. Jesus. Sorry. Alright. I should start writing AI BDSM. It's not AI. Then you wrote it. That's true. That's true. This is an Ian original. What you're just saying is better than AI. Who needs AI when you got this brain?

42:44Ian Hecox:Update. Yay. Update. So this update comes nine days later. Okay. Okay. I wanted to address some common questions slash comments first. Four hours versus across the country. I'm in the U.S. and flew from the West Coast to the East Coast. We wanted extra time together since we don't see each other often, so I flew into my hometown about four hours from the wedding instead of somewhere closer. this sounds like teenage drama totally fair i think that's part of why i snapped it felt like are we really doing this at 30 it's also a sign i should have addressed this sooner rental car issue i was told i couldn't use a debit card unless i had a license from that state otherwise it had to be a credit card no credit card i had debt in my early 20s which is long paid off but i've avoided credit cards since this situation made me realize i should have one for emergencies Why not bus slash train?

43:40Ian Hecox:I looked into it. Neither would have gotten me back in time for my return flight. A train home would have been... This is the U.S.

43:45Shayne Topp:We don't have trains. Yeah, public transport.

43:49Ian Hecox:International commenters are like, why don't you just use public transportation? Do you guys have that? We're like, no, we don't. No, we don't. We did.

43:56Shayne Topp:We did have it, but we destroyed it. They're like, oh, from the West Coast to the East Coast train, that should only take, like, what, five hours, something like that? Yeah. The US is very large, people. It's very large. I don't think a lot of people realize how big it is.

44:12Ian Hecox:A train home would have taken almost three days and cost about the same. My options were flying out of the closest airport or trying to get back to my original airport four hours away. Either way, I needed a same-day flight. Venmo request. I sent it out of anger. I told her later I don't expect her to pay me back.

44:30Shayne Topp:Now for the update.

44:33Ian Hecox:We had the call, and it wasn't productive. Oh, what a surprise. Knew it.

45:05Ian Hecox:She started crying and asked if we could just go back to how things were. I told her I didn't think that was possible. After the call, I realized this isn't something we can come back from. I'm willing to work through a lot, especially when I have a role in things. But the lack of remorse or even acknowledgement for leaving me stranded made that clear. As many said, this hasn't been a real friendship for a while. It wasn't always like this. But over time, the dynamics shifted in ways I kept overlooking or brushing off instead of addressing. I think I held on to it because of the history. during the month we didn't talk i actually felt at peace which says a lot i realized that not dealing with her behavior earlier probably contributed to it becoming a more explosive conflict than it would have been if i had addressed it sooner i appreciate the honest feedback i'm still sad about letting go of a friendship i cared about but i know i'll be okay i think i think yeah

45:56Shayne Topp:because this this kind of backs up my theory that they were like they were like childhood friends school friends and then you know went off to college whatever and i think like and i'm just saying this from my own experience of being friends with anthony like i think sometimes like when you develop these friendships in like middle school and high school your communication styles and the way that your friends don't always evolve as you become adults yeah and that's how it was Anthony and I, like, our communication never improved from, like, high school teenage boys until, you know, that whole thing kind of, like, fell apart.

46:37Shayne Topp:Yeah. And then we were, like, later on able to come back together in, like, as an adult sort of friendship.

46:44Ian Hecox:Yeah.

46:45Shayne Topp:So, yeah, it kind of, the way that they talk to each other in this, like, argument feels so high school. Yeah. Because that is. That's where it was born. Yeah. Yeah. I think friendships also like they do a double helix sometimes. It's like you come back, you come together and then you have to go off. And sometimes you go off and you learn things that don't vibe. And also I do think there is this like pressure of the friendship. You've been there since the beginning and like this friendship. It's like, well, I have to hold on. But it's like it's both parties are not they're not right for each other right now.

47:23yeah maybe later but you gotta kind of well it's also the painful thing yep i that's really

47:29Ian Hecox:fascinating i agree with that about the communication styles so i feel like people talk about that a lot with siblings of like when they go back and they spend time with their family it's like our old dynamics come out right it's like who do i become i become who i was when i was younger um but i also think it's painful in your 20s and then when you hit 30 it really becomes apparent of like friends that you're growing up together and some people just refuse to grow. Like some people like hit some things that they're not letting go of and it's like you realize how much it stunts you. And she's not letting go of this thing.

47:59Ian Hecox:And it's like keeping her in this place. And it's keeping her friend in that place with her. Yeah.

48:04Shayne Topp:It's also just like so maddening when somebody just can't, like all you have to do is apologize. Like just acknowledge what you did was fucked up. You left someone stranded in a town that they don't know that they don't live in and all you have to do is say you're right

48:24Ian Hecox:but i think i fucked up i think acknowledging any aspect of that is also acknowledging the reality of what's going on inside and she cannot face that reality she's not she it's not even near her she doesn't she doesn't actually see it for what it is because she doesn't understand it yet i know I think it's just like. It's really sad. Yeah. It's really sad. Well, it's sad because she's missing out on a friend who's willing to grow. And so the friend's willing to grow and the other friend is going to stay where she is right now. Yeah. And it's good that the other friend is like, okay, I have to keep moving on.

49:02Ian Hecox:I feel there's an aspect that I feel so sorry for Becky in that people like that who they hold on to this thing. and it's like, man, you're never going to find, you're making it impossible for you to find your person out there because you're holding on to this thing and it's going to completely cloud you. Also, Becky is just like the perfect name for this person. Oh, yeah, it makes them so low. Oh, they pick that. They pick that pretty well. Becky. Becky. Yeah, if a character's named Becky in this, I'm always like, oh, God.

49:33Shayne Topp:But, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think, yeah, if there's one lesson to take from this is just like, be more vulnerable with your friends. It will free you.

49:44Ian Hecox:It will free you.

49:45Shayne Topp:If you fucked up, just say, hey, I fucked up. And then, like, it will be amazing what that opens up for you. And you might see things earlier and be able to move on earlier. Totally. If that's what's going to happen.

49:57Ian Hecox:And you're allowed to have irrational feelings and stuff. Like, that's – that you can't help that. She can't help that she has these feelings for Ryan. But if she's not going to acknowledge it, it's going to turn into a rational behavior. Right. It doesn't make her a bad person. No. All right. It's time for our final story. And this one's going to be an epic. An epic. An epic. This next story comes from Today I Fucked Up. This was posted in September of 2019. Today I fucked up by trusting some rando on Airbnb. They write, Shit River 2K19. We have a thousand words to explain all that transpired with our dear friend Paul from August 3rd to August 4th, 2019.

50:40Ian Hecox:Let me spin you a tale. A tale of shit river.

50:43Shayne Topp:Okay.

50:44Ian Hecox:This guy's cooking with this.

50:45Shayne Topp:Yeah, he's having a blast.

50:48Ian Hecox:4.30 p.m. Our initial impressions of the house were terrific. Our illustrious host, Paul, left a bottle of red for us on the table along with some chocolates and popcorn. Paul was friendly. Check-in was quick and easy, so our party settled in. Everything was looking great. Okay, so they're into the Airbnb. It's good. Illustrious. 6 p.m. We return from purchasing perishables for the weekend. We fill the fridge as we prepare for a relaxing and restorative vacation. We had all traveled far and been looking forward to this rare reunion. A few days on the beach does wonderful things for the soul, but little did we know how our souls would be blackened forevermore.

51:25Oh my goodness.

51:27Ian Hecox:8.15 p.m. After a round or five of drinks, we noticed that several members of the party had disappeared and were nowhere to be found. We discovered them, ominous plunger in hand, staring terrified at a slowly rising toilet. One of two in the house. Plunging half successfully, we messaged Paul and let him know the situation. Only one working toilet isn't ideal for a group of eight 20-somethings drunk on beer and full of tacos. But we'd make it work. 8.38 p.m. The wolves arrived. No, I'm just kidding. What?

52:01Shayne Topp:I was so in! That's crazy.

52:05Ian Hecox:8.38 p.m. The remaining toilet won't flush. The party grows worried. Paul assures us that he will call a plumber. 9 p.m. Paul has no luck with his usual...

52:17Shayne Topp:What are these people eating? Tacos and beer.

52:21Ian Hecox:Both toilets?

52:22Shayne Topp:Salsa and beer. Salsa and beer.

52:27Ian Hecox:9 p.m. Paul has no luck with his usual plumber. They won't be able to fix the toilets until the next morning. A five-second Google search reveals there are 12 emergency 24-hour plumbers in Virginia Beach, but Paul did not want to call them. After informing our dear friend Paul of our displeasure, he put his nose to the grindstone and made a few calls. A plumber was found. Magic. 9.30 p.m. Raw sewage floods the shower and both toilets. Kitchen sink makes a strange noise when turned on. The house likely possessed. Drinks have been drunk like it's the end of prohibition, and we cannot drive or Uber to safety.

53:08Ian Hecox:After all, where would we go? We pray to whatever eldritch creature haunts our plumbing to spare us. 10.01 p.m. I love it. The stench. Dear God, the stench. 11.20 p.m. Emergency plumber arrives with Paul and Paul's friend in tow. One of them goes to the roof. One of them pounds a Pabst Blue Ribbon. Advance guard sobered up and makes an emergency run to a public bathroom. We split the party. 12.20 a.m. Plumber ventures inside the splash zone to duct tape garbage bags around the toilets to seal them in preparation for the final blasting. Paul's friend fails to discover how to switch off his nose and taps out.

53:58Ian Hecox:I'm out, man. I'm out. It's been hours since most of us have relieved ourselves. The backyard beckons us with its soothing siren call, but we resist for now. 12.22 a.m. Paul assures us the problem will soon be fixed and to keep partying. Classic Paul. We oblige, blithely unaware of the horror shit show still awaiting us. The wolves enter. 12.24 a.m. The wolves have finally entered. Yeah. 1224 a.m. The final blasting. The stench. The horror. The splatter. We all take 2d6 damage. Of course, this guy plays D &D. No! I was going to say. You knew this guy played D &D. Of course. 1 a.m. Paul and co.

54:46Ian Hecox:Tell us the bathrooms are fixed, but not to flush toilet paper. He requests we instead put used toilet paper in conveniently provided bagless trash cans.

54:55Shayne Topp:Oh, no bag. No bag. That's going to leave a smear.

55:00Ian Hecox:We decide to maximize our fun and minimize our bathroom usage. We also decide to leave the next morning. 2 a.m., the witching hour. Isn't 3 a.m. the witching hour? Yeah, 3 a.m. Oh, he fucked up.

55:15Shayne Topp:This freaking frat boy, man. Come on. I thought you were a D &D, but you're a frat boy. Yeah, I thought you were doing a cool campaign. This is Virginia Beach, right? Isn't that a big party town? Oh yeah, sure. Yeah.

55:31Ian Hecox:Lights flicker ominously. The house isn't finished with us yet. 4.30am. Oh my god. Paul offers a full refund. Excellent. He later tries to convince us to stay and only refund the first night. Not excellent. We ask for a full refund and promise to evacuate in the morning. He offers to let us stay for free for the remainder of our reservation. Excellent. But we decline and agree to leave by noon. Clairvoyant.

56:04Ian Hecox:10.30 a.m. The party prepares to leave after a night of sheer terror. We take trash to trash cans, clean the kitchen, and prepare a sacrifice to the toilet gods. 11.10 a.m. We commence the cleansing ritual in the kitchen. After completion, we agree never to speak of this again. Who would believe our odorous experience? 11, 11 a.m., make a wish. The great gurgle. We hear deep from the bowels of hell, a cursed glugging. Was it the broken spirit of Paul's friend chugging another PBR? Nope. The shower had once again started flooding with raw sewage. 11, 15 a.m., we hasten our efforts to flee. Paul is called.

56:50Ian Hecox:We finish packing all but the final suitcases into our cars. 1130 a.m. We convene to discuss departure. Suddenly, one of our party realizes we've been cut off from the last of our supplies by a seeping shit river pooling in the hallway, fearing the end is nigh. A brave hero bounds forth, vaulting across the rising floodwaters of the Rubicon. We form a fire line to ferry our belongings and are wounded to safety. Stop! 11.32 a.m. Water oozes from the baseboards. Satan's septic tank thirsts for blood. The lights flicker once more. 11.35 a.m. Our dearest friend Paul arrives, eloquently prophesizing, this house is fucked.

57:38Ian Hecox:Agreeing with Paul's uncanny observation, we flee the house. The smell stayed with us for days, but the memories will haunt us forever. So, it was coming out of the baseboards. It's coming out of everywhere. That was an excellent read of that. Thank you. I was so invested. Yes. It was good. It felt like I was reading the journals of what was the pilgrims who all disappeared or whatever. Jamestown? Was it Jamestown? Yeah.

58:08Shayne Topp:It was Roanoke.

58:09Ian Hecox:Roanoke, yeah. I feel like I'm reading a diary from Roanoke. It's really good. Where they're like, oh man, someone forgot to flush and it's getting real bad. It's really good. Wow. So yeah, it was coming out of the baseboards. It was coming out of everywhere. This house was quite literally about to explode. With shit. With shit. So something deep. And it wasn't all their shit.

58:27Shayne Topp:Or was it? I mean, it must have been like a, well, I don't know if they had a septic tank. Or if it was like a blockage further down the main line.

58:35Ian Hecox:Something deep in hell is rupturing. Yeah.

58:38Shayne Topp:He should have known there'd be eight. Shitting boys. Shitting boys ready to drink and shit. Out of the shower. Oh, because once it's so you know, it's just gonna come out of it I love the way this guy wrote 1111 make a wish.

58:53Ian Hecox:Oh, I added make a wish. Oh Hey, hey, that was really good. You're really talented. Thank you. He's good. Oh my god You should do this you never know when I'm just adding my own little spice to it. Oh my god 1111 make a wish. Yeah, so where were the wolves when uh, well, they were they were probably gonna show lapping up they showed up and they're like oh and they like ran away let's go guys um comments honestly i truly feel for how completely and totally fucked paul is at owning this shit house someone said if i were paul i think i'd just burn the house down and start over that smell would be too haunting lastly someone said ah i love the first season of american horror story turder house no no they wouldn't name it turder house come on no turder house i have been very lucky with plumbing issues.

59:41Ian Hecox:I've never experienced like an overflowing toilet. Oh, you are lucky. You've experienced an overflowing toilet.

59:47Shayne Topp:I had a root in the main line and it came up into my shower.

59:55Ian Hecox:The root?

59:56Shayne Topp:No. The tree was like, get here! Take it! The things that I thought I flushed down the toilet came up into my shower. What were you flushing down the toilet? Jules? Poopy. Gems My rubies Anthony gave rubies I was hiding We're done

1:00:16Ian Hecox:Anthony got these in Prague And he brought them back for me No, I'm very grateful I live in terror of like a plumbing issue like that I've definitely had a plumbing issue like back in the day Yeah Like at like an Airbnb or like an old inn or some shit I think my tolerance is pretty good for stuff Like I can handle it I've definitely been places where it's like Like, oh, there was no hot water, so it's like freezing-ass cold showers. Yeah, yeah. But I kind of take that as like, well, it's going to wake me up. I've definitely had that. But I've never had like an overflowing toilet or like anything really bad.

1:00:54I feel like I must have when I was younger or something. Oh, I did have something. I was in the Jersey Shore. No, we were in Lake George, like around New York with my cousins. And there was a massive hot tub. and I don't remember what happened, but my aunt remembers it as if my cousin did it, but I don't know if my cousin did it. Essentially, we like ran back afraid, but there was like...

1:01:20Shayne Topp:There was a floater? No, there was like plops of shit all around the hot tub and in the hot tub. Now, we don't know what happened. I kind of don't remember it, but I feel like maybe my cousin or my other cousin had like a poop attack. Either way, my aunt still talks about it. Oh yeah, the hot tub poop attack. I think someone had to shit themselves and they did it in the hot tub and then around the hot tub. Every time you get into a public jacuzzi, you're rolling the dice. We've all been in a wave pool where there's a poop. Haven't we? I've been in a wave pool, I don't recall one where there was poop.

1:02:03Shayne Topp:A wave pool with a poop is, I don't care, that's fine. What? It's fine. What do you mean? Waves. Well, okay, that's not good. Waves. But I mean, there's enough dispersion, you know, and it's not hot. A massive turd?

1:02:17Ian Hecox:What are you talking about? The wave pool I was at was in Arizona. Okay, so it was hot. It was hot. It'd be like 100 degrees, you're in the wave pool. But a jacuzzi, that's where you get folliculitis.

1:02:28Shayne Topp:You know, because somebody got in there and they had a long diarrhea. I don't know about that. Yeah. All I know is my aunt remembers it as one of a really tough day. Because she had to go in and clean it up.

1:02:41Ian Hecox:My divorce and the shit hot tub. It was one of you girls. One of you girls did it. And I was like, I didn't do it.

1:02:49Shayne Topp:And how do you use the net? I wasn't there. I wasn't there.

1:02:54Ian Hecox:I was hidden away. Back in the cabin. Anyways. Wow, we traveled everywhere today.

1:03:01Shayne Topp:We have. We have. But not the Titanic. You okay?

1:03:10Ian Hecox:Throws up.

1:03:11Shayne Topp:He took the hats. I would laugh so hard if he just threw it up. No, I was just debating on if I should just continue singing. No. No, no. Let me just say that I will say most of these Reddit stories, I normally am like, oh, yeah, this is clear. But on most of these, I was like, I don't know. I don't know if they're the asshole. I don't know. Like, it felt very, you know, murky waters, if you will.

1:03:41Ian Hecox:Murky toilet bowl. Okay. 11-11, make a wish. I just feel bad for Paul. Paul is left with the - Do you? I just was like, this house is fucked. Paul was like the friendship. He just avoided and avoided and avoided. I just love that, like, after all of this, he's like, you guys can stay for free. Just, like, hang out here.

1:04:00Shayne Topp:Yeah, that was a little concern. I was like, no, no, please, please stay.

1:04:03Ian Hecox:That's actually the scariest thing ever. It's like, please stay here for free. I'd be like, I'm going to die here.

1:04:08Shayne Topp:Yeah, that's what made me start to think it was haunted. Yeah. And he's like passing off some kind of curse. Yeah.

1:04:13Ian Hecox:Okay. So true. We must go. And by the way, before we go, I do want to shout out at live.smatch.com, we are offering a special package of some of our Reddit live shows. Some of the ones we did last year, some of the ones we're doing this year. so you can go and check them out there to watch some stories that we've never read here on the show with a live audience of thousands of people. It's such an exciting time. Highly recommend it if you can. And now it's time to go. Amanda, Ian, thank you. Thank you. This has been great. Okay. We traveled everywhere. It was so fun. It was a blast. I didn't even need my passport.

1:04:49Ian Hecox:All right. Bye, everybody. See you next Saturday. Bye. Bye.

1:04:54Shayne Topp:Yo-ho-ho. Wow! Our hats! We got our hats back for all the podcast listeners. They look great. They look awesome. Now I have a hat. Bye, guys. It was so great to see you guys. It was awesome.