Dating Is Cooked | Reading Reddit Stories

28:38Bíe realmente fell asleep entre nosotros y nos hace un sofa yesterday y es que me hace mi corazón skip a beat, guys. Ella invitó a la Zoom quiz que hace con ella con ella cada fortnight o so, y ellos estaban como, oh, así que esto es que hemos escuchado mucho más sobre. Oh, my God. We realized que nos ha convertido en un grupo de support bubble. Elle asked si

29:03Ok Ok Ok Ok

29:22Ok Ok Ok Ok Ok Ok Alright lady It might sound dumb but I don't know I need your help guys She is just the most incredible person I've ever met And I really really like her But if she isn't gay or doesn't feel the same I don't want to lose her friendship As she has become such a huge part of my life I genuinely have no experience with these kinds of things As I went to quite a strict all girls school So it's not as if there were any relationships around me as a teen And then I went to a very small university Eight of us on my course Wow Golf course university

30:21Yeah, Golf Course University. con la vida

30:52actually came out to anyone in real life. So that's tough. Also like, okay, so a lot of comments that I see are just, I'll see a lot of things that are like, chance always takes the devil's advocate side, blah blah blah blah blah. No, hold on now. There's really important, it's called critical thinking number one and critical reading. Who is writing this? Why are they writing it? And what is their point of view? And what do they have to gain or lose from writing this that is a really important thing to look at especially in these days on the internet where it's like is this true, where is this coming from why is it coming to me why am I being served this and what are they trying to do so we have to look at the author's point of view because history is written from the winner's perspective most often or whoever's writing it down is telling the story so there's always things y cosas de información que pueden o contar o nos y no often get a ver el otro side de la historia a lot of times cuando I'm on here I'm thinking ¿por qué están diciendo esto?

32:01¿qué están haciendo esto? ¿y están diciendo la verdad? most of the time I'm just like, yes, they're telling la verdad pero es un peligro de que decir que todos están diciendo la verdad y ella es diciendo her percepción y eso es exactamente el punto que me ha hecho She is telling us all of these things that she's seeing about this amazing person. I'm saying this from firsthand experience. I have been in her position where I'm like, they have to like me, right? They're doing this. They're doing this. They're doing this. And I will say about this time, 2021, was our social circles were pretty compact, especially with who we get to see in person every day.

32:43Yeah, true. And I'm saying this because In this same scenario I had a person That I was like they have to like me We are spending breakfast Lunch, dinner together We are doing every social thing together We met each other's parents We do all these things Like they have to like me And then they didn't like me So I'm coming from this I'm like oh you idiot Of course they do But she's telling it from how she's seeing it Porque ella ha confirmation bias Saying it that way She's also inexperienced In that world of dating She's 23 Yes And then you add on top That she's never actually been In a relationship with someone And you add COVID on Where it's like You're gonna click to one person Two people, three people And spend all your time with them anyway Yeah Because you're trying not to get COVID It's also a tough thing of like Are people allowed to just be Really good friends?

33:38Yeah Like are they allowed to become No Like you know Without it being like Oh well they're clearly Into each other Cause sometimes when you do cross that boundary or cross that line, no I guess it is a boundary. You rub against someone's boundary when you are trying to push it forward, but it's should be, I think it should be allowed to want more from a relationship, but it also can be allowed to sit in a relationship. You don't have to have more or want more. Um, but I think she loves her. All of this to say, o si se sienta le trägando. ¿Cómo si estáis en Obst Sangu?

34:37¿Cómo se hace? En el mundo

35:11a romantic type of love. You can continue loving this person in a non-romantic way. And they can sit just like that in your life. But I tried to set up, I was thinking about it for months, I'm an overthinker, and I was thinking about it and I was like, I tried to set up like a really like organic romantic situation where I could just kind of like softball pitch the feelings and be like, would you ever consider dating like me? Like where I feel like we do so many things ya está,

35:49ya está, ya está, ya está.

36:10Slept on it And it was super weird And then it was like Kind of like It was not a denial But it was like You're not crazy But like you've pushed things too far And I was like whoa whoa I was just softballing the pitch Nothing was different Can I ask was this someone who was saying Like they're not into you Or that they're not gay I've had that they're not gay before But they're not into me So this person was gay This person was gay This is a situation where they're just You thought So then how do you bridge the gay back Yes, I see So she has two possibilities She doesn't know if she likes her And she doesn't know if she's gay But you were in a situation where you knew someone was gay But were they into you or not So it's almost interesting that Her neighbor might be gay And also just might not be into her Just because she's gay doesn't mean There's two things going on And it is scary Es scary Porque you can have gay friends Yeah, absolutely You're like, what?

37:12I'm like, no I hate you guys I'm not a fan of you two He's like, you think we're friends? These past many years, I think you've been confused That's hilarious Friendship does not win Yeah, what? Oh, that's true Oh, wait, did you want to talk about how you would bridge the gap, Tommy? Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry I haven't really had a specific... I've had little things. Usually it's just like, I'm like, hey, are you gay? And usually they're like, nah. Because I think the easier conversation is, are you into me? Rather than, are you gay? 100%. Because what if this is her one woman she's into? And she doesn't identify as gay, but she's into this woman.

37:55And then you cover the gay thing if you say, are you into me? Yes, I'm into you. Then the gay part doesn't matter. The gay part doesn't matter. It doesn't need to matter. Y si no se assume Everyone es straight All the time Then you don't even Have to have A gay conversation You guys need to Stop assuming Everyone es straight But I mean There's a straight invisibility Everyone assumes Everyone is Or a lot of people Assume the default Is straight That's not the default That was so progressive Of you Thanks Wow Way to go Yeah Two strings now They were always Two strings Okay guys Chance's strings Have split into two The fidget strings are now two.

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39:41Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com slash pitreddit. That's rocketmoney.com slash pitreddit. Rocketmoney.com slash pitreddit. Now back to the show. So we have some comments here. They're gay. Someone started off by screaming. They said, ah! Honestly, judging by what you wrote, I'm pretty sure she's into women and into you, especially considering your neighbors' and friends' reactions. I'm a woman-loving woman myself, and I know this type of scenario can be so nerve-wracking. If that's your style, maybe you could wear some pride accessories around her, or mention some LGBTQ plus book movie show.

40:17I'm picturing wearing a shirt that just says I'm gay. I said target. Maybe you said target. That's exactly what I was thinking. The massive target. Wearing a fucking rainbow cape. ¿Verdad the Target Pride line from like two years ago? They stopped. They got scared. I mean, it should have stopped. God, I wish I would have got some of it. If you have Target Pride merch, I will give you a P.O. box. Some vintage Target. I want some vintage Pride merch. That's incredible. Wait. And everyone wanted to stop, but not the way they did. They managed to stop in a way everybody hated. Okay, I'm laughing at, I'm gay.

40:58¿Qué? ¿Are you? Es like, oh, sorry, this is my cousin's shirt. Do you agree? Okay, you could wear some pride accessories around her or mention some LGBTQ plus books, movies, show that you liked a lot. If it's not too obscure and she's into women, chances are she's seen slash read slash heard of it too and gauge her reaction. Sorry if this isn't much of a help for you. Either way, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. Keep me updated. I love love stories Do you watch Heated Rivalry? Don't you wish that was two women instead? Do you like Rosie O'Donnell? Not Rosie

41:42OP responded to that saying I like this suggestion I feel like I could bring that into conversations fairly naturally Thanks My only worry then is if I still don't get a clear response But I guess I'll cross that bridge when I get into it When I get to it Someone else said ¿Por qué no te preguntar si tiene un plan de especial para el día de valentine? Y luego de que trabaja en la parte de ahí. Es un super light topic y un fácil de ver si hay alguien más o si te sugerir. Opie dice, Opie dice, Opie dice, Opie dice, Opie dice, Opie dice, ¿Vale? ¿Vale? ¿Vale? ¿Vale? ¿Vale? ¿Vale? ¿Vale? ¿Vale? ¿Vale?

42:21¿Vale? ¿Vale? ¿Vale? And that I was into And it is agony Oh that's rough I don't know the situation That's why I'm like that is not a good idea Because it is going to be like a friend's Valentine's Day thing Galentine And then she's not even gay And you split this whole thing And then you build up this narrative in your head That's a humiliation ritual on the map 100 % Wow That will scar you for Valentine's Day for years to come But do it Pero, ¿sí? ¿No lo que? ¿Por qué, girl? Ok. Update. ¿Littal? I really want this to work out. Yeah, ok. I really want this to work out. Me too. Ok, guys. Thank you so, so much for all your support and encouragement.

43:07You've all given me a lot to think about. I think I'm going to casually slip some gay stuff into conversation and see how she reacts. Hell yeah. Then bring up the neighbor's comments like some of you suggested, seeing as though the neighbor was heavily implying that we're gay. I'll do it tonight. Otherwise, I'll talk myself out of it again. I will post an update to let you know what happens. Eek, if you never hear from me again, I assume it went badly and I'm consoling myself with cake and watching Brokeback Mountain in floods of tears. Okay, so she's going to go up to her and just be like, what do you think about this carabiner I've got?

43:37It's pretty cool, right? And they twirl it around. That was awesome. Enough of your bits, Shane. Give me another update. Okay. Update number two. Yes, yes, yes, yes. This is the real update. Please, please. Hi Reddit, yes it's me, the useless lesbian. Damn, OP. Hi Reddit, yes it's me, the useless lesbian. First off, I want to thank you all for your support, encouragement, and advice. And the undeserved awards. I never expected this many of you to take the time to comment, and that so many of you were rooting for us. So I had the plan to drop these gay hints into Convo, like you guys suggested, but honestly, it all went out the window.

44:16Elle was kind of stressed Friday after a shitty work Zoom, y solo necesitaba venta y no era el momento de empezar aunque creo que me hubiera un poco a la vez que me hubiera todo el día overthinking cosas aquí como L turnedo a Saturday morning rambling about stressing me out y apologized por ruining dinner obviamente I said ¿qué tal? ¿qué tal? ¿qué tal? ¿qué tal? ¿qué tal? ¿qué tal? y ella me dijo ¿qué? y yo dije ¿qué? y yo y la tension fue unreal staring at each other y hoping our lesbian mind reading powers would kick in then there was some loud noise Like a car backfiring or something And the moment went So I went to make coffee and then Elle asked me Why I was a bit quiet the night before And I said something about overthinking stuff And she said what stuff And I don't know you guys I wasn't prepared to be put on the spot My casual gay pop culture References were useless at that moment My mind just went completely blank And I forgot every single thing you guys suggested And my heart was pounding And I just blurted out you know I like you right Good Good Y luego Se kissed me Kissed me We straight up just snogged in the kitchen And it was fucking great Snogged gross Hey she said arse before Being lesbian's cool, being British No I draw the line there Get your fiddled mash Away from me or whatever the hell you're eating Lesbian's fine But once you got gravy on shit So, you were right.

45:46You were all fucking right. She's gay. She likes me and has been trying to drop hints for nearly five months. Sigh. We were both just too scared to make a move or ruin anything. Turns out she's been burned by straight girls in the past, so she's pretty wary and was hoping I'd straight up say I'm a lesbian so she'd know for sure. Maybe the I'm a lesbian wall hanging would have been a good idea after all. Her friends have been helping her drop hints. She showed me the group chat and guys their suggestions range from flirting more to just turning up in a trench coat and nothing else lol. Also, the winking neighbor has been making comments to her as well.

46:20So shout out to her for trying to make this happen too. So no cake and cry watching Brokeback Mountain, just five months of dating to catch up on. As for worrying about how our current schedule could be more date-like during lockdown, you are right. It's kind of irrelevant when you've essentially been dating the whole time. Though we never made it to our morning run yesterday. In fact, we didn't leave the house at all. Ha, nice. Wow Incredible Thank you guys for giving me hope Even if all your suggestions completely disappeared at that moment Maybe I'll show her the post later And ask if any of the suggestions would have worked Aww That's beautiful And then she's like, you're a Redditor?

46:58She's like, I'm out I'm out Done That's sweet Love wins That was very sweet Very sweet Okay, moving on to our next story Es de AmiTheAsshole AmiTheAsshole for buying my girlfriend Vanilla Shampoo Is she allergic to vanilla Yes You're the asshole Why did you do that Moving on My girlfriend uses a few different types of shampoo And alternates between them One of them, a vanilla scented one Is my favorite She asked me to pick up some things for her at the store And on my way to checkout I saw the vanilla shampoo And grabbed that too Cuando me quedé back to her apartment She started putting away the things I bought She was confused by the shampoo And asked me why I got it I said that I saw it And knew she uses that kind And grabbed it for her She said she wasn't running low on shampoo I said I know But it doesn't expire And that one is my favorite I teasingly said that she should use it If she's planning to wash her hair tonight She asked what I meant By it being my favorite I said I like the way it makes her hair smell Like cookies She looked a little weirded out I asked her if she was okay She said it was weird that I sexualized her shampoo I said smelling nice is sexy I asked if she thinks I'm sexier when I use nice smelling soaps and deodorants She said not really, as long as I don't actively smell bad I said maybe it's different for everyone She said honestly it bothered her that something as mundane as shampoo was sexual to me She asked me if someone else smelled like vanilla, would I be attracted to them I said no, that she was misunderstanding me She asked me to clarify, but I don't think I did a good job.

48:41I said I specifically like the smell on her, not other people. She still seemed put out, so I headed home to give her space. Was I an asshole for buying the shampoo and telling her I like when she uses it? To me, that's not weird, but maybe that's because I'm a guy. Is there a layer to this I'm not seeing? You getting horned up in the spice aisle, pig?

49:03Saffron. Oh, oh. Okay. As we were talking about before, with every Reddit post, it's like, all right, we're opening the door into a relationship that's probably been going on for a long time. I feel like big, crazy things happen in relationships and people don't talk about it. And then it's the little tiny thing that happens and suddenly it blows up, right? There was Lotion Man back in the day. This is now Shampoo Guy. This is a similar thing. This is from his perspective. En patent интересно, it does come across as like, oh, she's finding a reason to be upset to get out of this. Exactly. That's what it reads to me.

49:43The hunch is, if we're going to try and find the other perspective, is maybe he's like overly sexualizing her often. That's what it sounds like. Everything is sexual. And she's a little tired of all of the sexualizing. And the window into that conversation for her is... Was the shampoo moment. Yeah. There could be a lot more information on this one to come. Verdict, not the asshole Comments

50:33y no solo paying attention a su phone ser importante OP said I thought I was being sexy and cute too she's my first real relationship so I acknowledge that I'm inexperienced here but I thought it was a very innocent way to flirt it's not like I bought her underwear yeah I guess we don't get to know how long they've been dating but either way if I heard this story I'm just like oh so you guys something's wrong this is bad yeah yeah um cause yes I agree like en un normal, healthy relationship, this would be normal. Yeah, that would be something. Yeah. It's like the whole idea of cologne and perfume.

51:12It's like, the smell can absolutely be sexy. Yeah. I feel like it's one of the most, like, it's common. Known, common thing. Yes. You're wearing my favorite cologne. Like, I'm wearing your favorite, like, perfume. Like, that is, it's interesting. Someone said, not the asshole. What on earth? You did something nice. She should have said thank you My husband comments if he likes my perfume She presumably buys the vanilla scented shampoo Because she also likes the smell Making it out like you're some weird freak For also liking the smell is wild It's like she was looking for something to fight about Yeah Opie said yeah I don't get it Liking certain smells is normal right Isn't that the point of scented things and perfume It's not a creepy thing to like And see then hearing everyone dogpile And mob mentality This woman who we didn't get her side of the story exacto at all it's like well what did the conversation sound like from her point of view and when else is this happening right sure I mean that is the tough thing what is he asking of her on a regular basis that might get her to do that yeah I would say this goes one of two ways for me it's like either we find out that oh he's been doing a lot like this he's been pushing like he's been saying do these things whatever I'm not of that camp believing that like yeah he said oh use this shampoo tonight Which is like, okay, maybe there's a lot of that going on.

52:33What it does also seem is like she wants to end this relationship and she's trying to find a way to do it. So I won't be shocked if we read an update and it's like, oh, she's cheating on me or whatever. Sure. There's that too. Update. Okay. Good. So here we go. All right. I fucked her shampoo. So yesterday my girlfriend didn't like it That I took it upon myself to buy her vanilla shampoo When I was picking some things up for her at the store We met up at her apartment again this morning For breakfast and I asked if we could talk About our boundaries and expectations Because I never want to make her feel uncomfortable Okay So I'm having a hard time believing that He's in the wrong She agreed that we should talk She said that when she visited her family over winter break She had time to think about our relationship y hablar con su parents y sister sobre mí.

53:23La primera cosa que se ha hecho es que no se ha hecho que no se ha hecho que no se encuentre en su apartment. I said, I completely understand this y que es welcome a ir a la casa de mi casa. Cuando nos firstes se ha hecho que no se viera a visitar mi casa porque de mi cuatro roommates. Pero cosas cambiaron y I get that. She still no se ha hecho que no se viera a la casa de mi casa porque de mi cuatro roommates though. She said que mi situación es demasiado crowded y que me ha hecho y me ha hecho que me ha hecho si quería

54:11¡Suscríbete al canal!

54:44Gracias por ver el video Sexy. That wasn't the right way to explain it. She didn't seem to understand where I was coming from. She asked me what was going through my head when I was at the store and if I was thinking about having sex with her. I said I was thinking about the store, the items I needed to buy, inflation, etc. And then I saw the shampoo and I thought about how she uses it and it makes her hair smell amazing and I bought it. She asked if I specifically thought about the way her hair smelled the last time we had sex. And I said yes, but it wasn't like I had a full sex fantasy in the store.

55:19It was momentary thought. She said that it isn't normal and I might have Tourette's or ADHD or OCD or some other condition that causes intrusive thoughts. Dude, break up. Just break up, my God. I'm really glad I made the last post because I was worried about what she said, but then I remembered all the commenters that mentioned also feeling the same way about scents. I told her I posted about our conversation in an anonymous online forum and several people feel the same way I do about smell. I said I think it is normal to feel that way about scents, but maybe it isn't ubiquitous. She said it isn't normal and I might want to talk to a doctor about potentially having hypersexuality Between her not liking my living situation and her not liking that I am attracted to her smell Which is probably my fault because I wasn't doing a good job of explaining things I realized we just weren't compatible I told her I thought maybe we had different needs for a relationship and maybe we'd be better off as friends She said she was disappointed in me but that she agreed We hugged it out, I'm a little bummed but we were only dating for four months Thanks for being my normalcy barometer Since I don't have one for relationships yet Okay, yeah Good Jesus Christ Her being like, you need to move out And him being like, I can't afford that She's like, ask your parents for money I'm like, oh, she is so naive She is not in the real world yet Your parents for Oh, just get money Yeah Just get more money What are you doing, you stupid idiot Only four months, too ¿Qué es la tuerrette?

56:46¿Qué es la tuerrette? Y tú eres un doctor? Sí, ella es como, no, no, no. Ella se ha diagnosticado con Tourette's, ADHD, y hypersexualidad. ¡Holy shit, bro! ¡Se ha preparado! ¡Gracias, buen Dios! ¡Also, cuatro meses! ¡No, si alguien está diciendo que cambiar tu situación y es diagnóstico con un día de cosas, ¡Vamos a cuatro meses! ¡Vamos a ir de ahí! ¡Vamos a ir de ahí! ¡Vamos a ir de ahí! ¡Vamos a ir de ahí! ¡Vamos a ir de ahí! ¡Update número dos! ¡Oh! ¡Oh! ¡Oh, sí! ¡Oh, sí! He broke up with her He's like my new girlfriend's a cookie And she smells amazing I'm dating a cookie Look I won't lie Sometimes I've seen a cookie I'll be like okay Shane we can date Read the update But then I eat them Listen The cookies that have like the circle of frosting on And they're kind of like They feel like they're made of play-doh Those low-key hit I'm gonna be honest And I would low-key hit the cookie Okay Ok

57:46Read the update The only problem, if I bite into a cookie and it is too crunchy, too hard I'm out Really? So you're anti-tates I love like a soft, chewy Meatsle If it's soft, chewy, hell yes Who likes a hard cookie? Okay, wait, I'll tell you something I like a hard cookie I'll eat any cookie I have something to admit Oh I prefer Crazy Ok I prefer oatmeal raisin to chocolate chip cookies Chance I don't think that's controversial Chance, me too I don't think that's controversial I think an oatmeal raisin cookie is delicious I actually love so many flavors of cookie As long as they're on the softer side Ok A soft oatmeal raisin cookie Fuck a sugar cookie No, I love a sugar cookie Fuck a sugar cookie I need some flavor up in that bitch I don't know if I've had a cookie that I'm like I don't like that flavor Sugar is just like sweet It's delicious Yeah y es un animal y es un poco de que light sugary thing going on there alright read the fucking update update I broke with my girlfriend three weeks ago and have been on a few dates since then she texted me a few hours ago asking to give us another shot oh of course no if it wasn't for all the feedback you guys gave me I probably would have taken her up on the offer keeping in mind what she said about me I turned her down she said she noticed some alarming patterns in me and that she might have overreacted I told her I understand it and that it's okay But I'm interested in dating some more She said the grass isn't always greener on the other side And we know we are compatible I disagreed with her and said we aren't actually compatible Because of the housing situation She said she is willing to give me another shot And if we work out in six months to a year We can move in together I still said no I definitely would have agreed before I read all your comments So yeah, thanks again I have a couple of dates scheduled for this weekend First and second, wish me luck Damn, dude, okay You don't have to go that fast Ok, good for you We get it Not surprised How many months had it been?

59:47They were only dating for 4 months and now it's been 3 weeks It's almost a month later It takes half the time Yeah, to like get over Yeah, that's what Carrie said Yeah, that's true He's over it, she's just controlling as hell Okay, well good for him Good for him Also when he came to the conversation with boundaries I'm like, yeah Boundaries and expectations conversation I'm in 100 % Okay Our final story Comes from am I overreacting Am I overreacting My girlfriend left me over a cheese wheel So Some of you watching And listening have maybe heard this story before Because Angela was on two hot takes And they read this story And Angela was talking to me yesterday And she's like I am so curious about your opinión de este story.

1:00:40So, I think this is going to be a wild ride, so buckle up. And shout out to Hot Takes. For a little bit of context, OP and his girlfriend are Canadian. I, a 27-year-old man, and my girlfriend, 26-year-old woman, were saving for a house down payment. I work, and she is unemployed. I've saved about $23 ,000 USD, and she has saved roughly$3 ,000 USD. So, I feel like I bear the brunt of the financial decision-making here. I was doing the Oxford County Cheese Trail and found a vault release. They were selling a 140-pound wheel of 21-year-old cheddar. It was aged using a traditional cloth-bound method that's practically extinct here in Canada, and with over 21 years, it is extremely concentrated.

1:01:2521-year-old cheddar often sells for$120 a pound. The farm was selling the entire wheel for $18 ,500. That's roughly$13 ,000 Si se cuta en 200 gram wedges Y selló a$60 each $45 for us I can make $28 ,000 USD I bought the cheese wheel Y brought it home in my truck When I rolled it into our apartment At first, she was excited When I started to explain the financials And investment potential, she turned sour She didn't yell, but expressed She wasn't happy about how I spent my share Of our house savings She is now staying with her parents I think she's overreacting because she doesn't understand The Canadian housing market Our savings is not enough for a down payment Without a ridiculous mortgage And we need to take these opportunities Am I overreacting or am I the only one With ambition in our relationship Cheese Cheese So let me re-look at this math So he bought it for$18 ,000 He bought it for$18 ,000 And he's hoping he can sell it He can make$38 ,000 So he's hoping he can make$20 ,000 In Canadian cash He's going to turn this cheese around And make a big buck How big is the wheel?

1:02:46It's 140 pounds That's like half a guy Yeah You're going in a fucking That's a whole guy That is a whole guy Depending on the type of guy It's a lot of cheese But now he's got to go about selling all this cheese Right And that's tough. You gotta find interesting buyers. And it's just like. Door to door cheese. He's not gonna make all that back. You're not gonna sell all that product. I've watched Breaking Bad. This stuff isn't easy. No. And people want meth more than cheese. Yes. People want meth more than cheese. And that's the takeaway. He's on a corner and he's just got a big wheel of cheese.

1:03:24People are like, yeah, okay. Do you have cocaine? Yeah. He's got a trench coat. It's really lumpy. He's not in the cheese industry. No. Se ha no background en understanding cheese Nor, siendo un salesman As far as we know He took a huge leap And dropped almost$20 ,000 On cheese On cheese No, if I'm her, I'm pissed off 100 % He starts this off by being like Well, I have a majority of the savings It's like, well, one, not anymore But two, it's like, no, you guys are Saving up to buy a house together Your savings are your savings Yes Y así As he addresses the Canadian housing market Is awful, really hard to buy a house He just made it He set them back another year or so Probably, maybe a lot He did set them back He still has$5 ,000 To her$3 ,000 So he's still in charge He can still make all the decisions I mean, but it's like If we're coming to the table as equals And we're putting money for it together I'm like, well It's his money No es un joint account Es su savings account Para mí, yo creo que es más Como un percentage de lo que es Y también es un equipo Así que, ok, estamos pooliendo nuestro recursos He definitely should have asked her before Pero es también No creo que es un gran indicación Que es como, oh, we're saving up Para comprar este casa Pero él es como, oh, pero yo puedo Pueden mi dinero, pero Es como, you guys are going to Cambio de este mindset A poco Porque es esta casa o sea, lo de su espacuita es claimante que pare gi богa la presencia más donde lo soundca Y bueno, lo que pasa tenga que intermite

1:05:21la expulsanza de darparto mucho más注 20 ,000 pesos que es un llato que gegüense el dinero pero es como, ok, you're taking on this job. Ok. A full time job. How are you going to find those connects? I know. That's a ton. It's just like, you know, it's a very strange red flag to suddenly see your partner spend all that money on something that doesn't make sense. And I'm not a cheese expert but I'm like aware of like, guys, you're not going to believe this. I'm not a cheese expert. But he's talking about, oh, they're worth $140. They often sell for $120 a pound. It's like, yeah, that's best case scenario.

1:06:01Right. Like, that's a fluctuating market, I assume, like anything else. I don't know the cheese market. I don't either, but markets fluctuate. Yeah, I mean, like a Pokemon card's worth$1 ,000, but you put it online and no one's buying the$1 ,000 Pokemon card. Yeah, you know this guy had NFTs. Oh, 100%. I forgot about NFTs. How about that brain blast? Remember the monkey ape thing? That was crazy. Jimmy Fallon was like...

1:07:18His math was wrong. His math was wrong. His math was really bad. I'm not a good math person, but his math was really bad. His math was wrong. Sí, he should have, honestly, he could have posted en un otro reddit thread There's the reddit thread, they did the math Where you can, like, put Any sort of math question In there, and someone will respond And do the math He's the asshole What is the question? OP responded to that guy, though, saying You are dividing the 140 pounds By 7 ounces, but you are forgetting That there are 16 ounces in a pound So if you divide the 140 by 7 The$7 goes into$14 twice.

1:07:58Okay. The way he said that makes me not want to believe whatever he said. Yeah, I don't know if I'm buying this guy. Someone said, You spent$18 ,500 on cheese with no actual plan on how you're going to recoup that outside of, Yeah, I can totally sell this. Incidentally, your math is way off. Selling 317 wedges at$60 each comes to$19 ,050, which nets you a whopping$650 for what will surely be weeks of work on the completely off chance you manage to sell everything. Someone else said, who is going to pay$120 for a pound for cheese that some random person is selling out of their apartment? If I was going to spend that much, I'd want to know that it was stored and handled properly.

1:08:38And actually, do you need a food safety license to do this kind of thing? OP said, one, it's not a commodity. It's a heritage cheese and the value is determined by the scarcity. You can't get this cheese from a regular retailer. Two, I have my Ontario Food Handler's Certificate. Okay. Someone said, after you cut the cheese, how long will the wheel stay fresh? Can you store it appropriately to preserve it for that length of time? OP said, the cheese will not spoil. After 21 years, all the moisture has been replaced by calcium lactate crystals. Once the wax seal is broken, I will be putting it in my chest freezer.

1:09:15Someone said,

1:09:40O.P. said,

1:09:46for me to make financial decisions like investing in high-yield assets like the traditional cloth-bound 21-year-age oxford character cheddar wheel not the full title not the government name of the cheese oh brother listen I don't care all this math in and out I don't give a fuck no I don't care either he's a weirdo controlling guy who spent all his money on cheese and didn't even do the math right he's a dumbass I thought at first that it was going to be like oh, he bought this wheel of cheese for like 500 bucks. Yeah. Or something. That's much more reasonable. It's like, yeah, but no, you dropped$18 ,000.

1:10:23If you're dropping, if you're dropping near$20 ,000 on something with the expectation you're going to make money, you've been scammed. I think he deserves death. We should kill him. And I'm not, I'm not like exaggerating. He should be wrapped in a cloth and aged in the crowd. To be clear, the Redditors who, and if a Redditor responds con un detalle math assessment. You should believe them. He said, you're at most going to make $600 off of this. He bought this cheese at market price. Because he did bad math, he thought that he was getting it at a deal when actually it was sold to him at the price that it's worth.

1:11:04Then he just completely fudged this. I love, though, I love when the OP responds to comments disproving them. I'm like, you posted on Reddit asking for responses and then you're going to go to war. I'm like, alright man. I'm going to be entertained by it. He could have bought a used car and flipped it and made it a nicer car. That makes slightly more sense than a cheese wheel. But still. Truly, he would have been better off just investing the money into just an account. Oh, you mean not spending the money? Just not spending your money. You would have so much more money. Update. No. Okay. I don't need an update.

1:11:52I do. We need it. What if he got rich? Okay, then I would like that. If he got super rich, that would be awesome. This guy is a character from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Yes. Like, this is Charlie. This is a Charlie move. I have taken some of your feedback into consideration from my last post. For those curious, my girlfriend is no longer in the picture. She cracked due to low risk tolerance So I've decided to go all in on the business She cracked due to low risk tolerance That's Cheese is high risk Cheese is high risk tolerance I initially tried to return the wheel to the distributor To recoup some capital Thinking they'd have some pity They were actually considering it Until they came out to look at it in my truck Apparently the minor heat damage I caused to the paraffin wax While trying to open last week Compromised the wheel que fue ya no refundable en el primer lugar desde que ahora estuvo con un 140 lb$30 ,000 asset y tu pivote a asset protection y keep lo que aún hay I went out y bought a true TBB 2HC 59 inch solid door back bar cooler a professional digital temperature humidity controller and industrial humidifier a vacuum sealer and ripening mats total cost was about $8 ,500 That's all this man blew his money on the cheese Expensive, yes But I wasn't going to let a$30 ,000 investment depreciate value I've started to notice that This is a thing that dudes do And if they use these certain words They think that they're being smart It's like, no man You spent money on cheese And now a cooler Depreciating value You're talking about the cheese is melting in your truck That's what is happening You got the inside of a mozzarella stick All over the back of your truck Stop saying ass that you have cheese In your truck Stop it Whenever a guy comes to you If you have a cousin Everybody has a cousin who's probably doing this Coming at you with those words They don't know what they're talking about They don't know what they're talking about Okay So he's now blown all of his money The delivery was difficult My apartment door is narrow So I had to take the door entirely off the hinges y shimmy el cooler en la habitación.

1:14:09I had maybe a millimeter de clearance entre el frame y el unit. I was exhausted and excited, so I started researching installation on my phone before putting my front door back on. That's when my landlord walked in. Apparently, he believes my door being off the hinges somehow removes my reasonable right to privacy. We already have a strained relationship because of my own use of the unit. He still holds a grudge because I was doing some light metal fabrication con un consumo de plazma en mi casa un mes ¿Qué es lo que estamos haciendo? ¿Qué es lo que estamos haciendo? ¿Qué es lo que es un plazma?

1:14:43¿Qué es lo que está haciendo? He's starting to win me over This guy This guy Kramer here is pretty awesome Just because there's no door and no hinges he doesn't have the right to look in my apartment that he owns He saw the cooler, the vacuum sealer y le deal de este chico y está ma showed up sobreի sudevio y las cryamos explosion el Fíjero I told él muy caro el che era para personal consummación popcorn gracias por lo que es�.. eso es como son quepleo el dinero que es incursable Am I overreacting? I'm being evicted over dietary preferences as far as the landlord is concerned and I feel like this is an unlawful action.

1:15:37Edit, I added a plus to the evaluation as it is possible to increase my margins depending on the quantities I sell in. Also, please bear in mind that I have sold zero cheese so I feel like this is a premature action. Bear in mind that I haven't done anything. Bear in mind that this is a huge L so far. He has photos of the cheese wheel y el avión de noticación. Gracias. Cuando estaba pensando, esto ha sido fake. No, he posted fotos de la cheese. Es pequeño. No, que es 140 pounds. Maybe es como tungsten. Maybe es realmente heavy. Wait, guys, si te escuchas, ¿qué te escuchas? ¿Qué te escuchas? ¿Qué te escuchas?

1:16:19¿Qué te escuchas? ¿Qué te escuchas? ¿Qué te escuchas? ¿Qué te escuchas? Es pequeño. Es muy compact. Apparently, cheese es heavy, como gold. Esto es como un poof que se senta en tu living room. It's black. That's the wrapping. That's the wax. And then that's a receipt. Oh, it's duct taped. Yeah, that's duct taped. He duct taped it back together. Also, OP's hand is in the frame. He's got a spider tattooed on his hand. And it looks like a dagger. Oh, his username is on the back of his hand. That's awesome. La garantía que es él. Él quería todo el mundo a saber que esto es real. Es no duct tape, Shane.

1:17:03Él es reenforzando sus assets. Sí, él es reenforzando sus assets. Él es secundaria sus assets. Secundaria sus assets así que los margens puedan ser quantitativos. Y si hubiera multiple cheeses, él hubiera sido diversificando sus assets. Exacto. Que es lo que se ha hecho. Que se ha hecho. Se ha hecho hecho un blu de cheese como. Ok, este es increíble. Este es increíble. I am so feliz. Este es real. Este es increíble. y es among us y he votes y ha y ha he has all this money he definitely has never voted in his life no this guy does not vote he has all this money how did he get all that money and then lost it so fast and you're talking to this guy and you're like oh how did you blow $40 ,000 and he explained this I'd been like you should have just gone to Vegas like have fun with it his odds were better to go to Vegas and gamble it it's just not enough cheese for me like if you're gonna buy $20 ,000 of cheese I need to see some cheese This is heritage Who cares I want big cheese Big bugs, big cheese Big bug, big cheese Comments I hope girlfriend got her$4 ,000 back OP said integrity is an asset That does not depreciate Unlike her savings which will be eaten by inflation I I gotta punch this guy Bro, that's it I thought there was more I thought there was more That guy lost everything over cheese Good Holy fudge He truly lost his girlfriend, all of his money, and his apartment He absolutely destroyed his life For cheese He deserves it He deserves it Okay, but real talk How yummy you think that cheese is Oh, you know that cheese is probably so good I'm hungry for the cheese Let me just talk about the crystals in there Oh, I had a cheddar last night.

1:18:55Crunch, crunch, delish. I'm like, maybe I'd be a customer. I would buy some cheese. I'd buy some cheese at Market Products. You have his handle. Oh, I'm not going to reach out to him. It's also been over a year. This was this month. Oh, this was this month. Wait, we have to get some of his cheese. We got to get some cheese. All right, we'll buy some of his cheese. We'll buy some of your cheese. I'm sure he's hoping from how viral this went that he's going to sell some cheese. Oh, it might. Maybe this is all a ploy to sell some cheese Maybe he's actually so smart Wait 4D chess 4D cheese Mouse trap There's an old reference for you Well that's all our stories Thank you both for joining me That was awesome And thank you all for watching We're going to be performing Smosh Breeds Red Stories live In LA on the 6th and the 8th That's Wednesday and Friday this week for Netflix is a Joke.

1:19:55So we hope to see some of you there. And also, we're going to be doing a lot of other Smosh Reads Red Stories Live shows this year. So make sure to look out for those. We're going to be all over the place. All over the globe, perhaps. So keep an eye out. Anyways, see you next week. Bye!