Raise The Red Flag | Reading Reddit Stories

19:53And I'm like, okay, like you, that's pretty, that's fucked up. He has the one avenue of, okay, that makes sense.

20:00Courtney Miller:It makes sense. No, because there's a horrible world where there is a type of boyfriend who was like, this will be my first thing that I do. You know, like the first step in being controlling and making it the woman's problem and stuff. So like, and being on the show, we assume the worst sometimes. Yes. But thank goodness. Absolutely. And I think even when it comes from a justified place, it's like, no, you still have your boundary. You cannot, like, she was right to set her boundaries. and because she set her boundaries, this communication happened, right? Like, would it have happened if she just said, okay, I'll stop?

20:33Like, they had further conversations

20:34Courtney Miller:and she needed to know this about him and he needed to get it out there. And maybe one day he'll enjoy those cheese balls with her. Hey, man, hey. And feel a little bit. I love this show. If everyone in the room will allow me to wax poetic for a second. Shane, sometimes when I think about the show, it's kind of like you're Jesus. And... I feel like we need to stop you there. And you're reading us these parables, you know? Yes. And it's like, you know, the parables that Jesus was saying were like, you know, with titles such as the Good Samaritan, you know? And then you're reading us the stories of, hi, my boyfriend can't stop thinking about other men's balls when I eat mozzarella.

21:11And, you know, it's like, are these stories true? You know, who's to say? But is the truth of these stories really, is it more important that these stories actually happened or does the truth of them lie in the lessons that we can learn? and it's just a really beautiful show that we can talk about mozzarella cheese balls and walk away with something. Hey. Hey. Yeah. So thank you, Jesus. Wow.

21:36Courtney Miller:You know, I guess what was Jesus but a 30-year-old podcaster, right? Oh, my God. Look, the masses out there, they're listening. This is the Sermon on the Mount. You are... Sermon on the Mount? Am I the asshole? Oh my God. Every Christian listener of the show is like, I got to stop. Now they're going, you know, that's a good point. You know, I never thought about it. Wait a minute. Oh God. Thank you. Thank you, Trevor. Yeah. That's something I've been thinking about. I like whenever anyone uses the term wax poetic. Yeah. I'm like, when you said, mind if I wax poetic, I just picture you like waxing a car with a lot of feeling.

22:20Because I don't know what that means. To speak beautifully for a moment. Going into great detail and, you know. Wow. Yeah, trying to be a little bit, maybe drop some wisdom here.

22:29Courtney Miller:Yeah, well, you certainly did. You called me Jesus. Yeah. It's just the most, you know. Maybe that's, maybe. The best comparison I could think of for what we're doing here. And people have said that before. Oh, God. Please. Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole, posted in December of 2021. Am I the asshole for quitting without notice over fake job postings? Okay, we have a job red flag story. As of yesterday, I, a 31-year-old woman, was the marketing coordinator for a real estate agent. Let's call him John, 39-year-old man. He's very successful and recently hired a life coach who gives him weekly goals.

23:09Courtney Miller:Some of them are normal, like read this book on the cyclical nature of the real estate market. But other times it's shit like, coach says I should take Friday off because sitting is the new smoking. Not the best behavior, but harmless enough. However, John's most recent goal caught me totally by surprise. Last week, John said his coach wanted him to develop his leadership skills. I asked what that entailed, and he gave me a new task. Advertise fake job postings, one for every position on our team. John said he wanted 30 plus resumes per day and he'd interview the good ones. I can't overemphasize this enough.

23:47Courtney Miller:There are no job openings on our team. John's coach apparently thinks interviewing real people for fake jobs will make John a better leader. If someone can connect those dots for me, please do because I don't get it. I asked John if he was serious and pointed out that people are desperate for work right now. His response? Coach says real leaders are always looking for new talent. Reason number one why I might be the asshole. I couldn't refuse a direct request without getting fired, so I made the job postings, but I didn't list compensation in the hopes that people would see red flags. We got hundreds of resumes, and John interviewed dozens of people.

24:24Courtney Miller:I listened in, and they sounded like real interviews. At no point did John mention we're not currently hiring. One of the interviewees was a young woman who chatted with me while she was waiting, and she said she's a single mother who had to get a last minute babysitter so she could make the interview. So not only is she not getting hired for this job, it cost her money to show up. Another was an older man and when I walked him out, he asked, do you think a fossil like me has any shot? I almost burst into tears, but fury won out. I told him, there is no job. I'm sorry they lied to you. This company thinks nothing of wasting your time.

25:00Courtney Miller:He looked shocked and walked away. Someone must have heard me because I got called into John's office where he proceeded to yell at me Apparently he's fine with lying to people's faces but not with people knowing about it He threatened to fire me and I said to do it because I can't go along with this You're getting people's hopes up for no reason John argued that the jobs could be real in the future and it was helping him lead the team So that made it okay Reason number two why I might be the asshole I quit on the spot no notice I have a second job so I'll be okay but John said to forget about a reference.

25:32Courtney Miller:I've never not given notice before and I feel bad about that but I just know John would make me keep bringing him resumes until my last day. Okay, this isn't even red flags. This guy is an asshole. This is awful. I'm like, how is that legal? How is that even legal? I never know about the legality of these types of business practices but I would hope that's illegal. I think you should only be allowed to bring in like an interviewer if there's a real job opening. You are just wasting these people's time. That's so sad. No, and like especially hearing about the single mother spending their money to go to this interview.

26:09Like, oh my gosh, that's so upsetting. Yeah. If you've ever like had to like, like take a lot of time looking for a job in a really awful job market, like the one that we're currently in, it's like every single time, you know, you get through an interview and then there's just, you don't hear anything back. It's demoralizing. Oh, absolutely. It is so hard. And to be doing that, like making someone, yeah, take time out of their day to go do something and give them like, oh my God, like I got this interview in person. I'm going without there even being any chance of them actually getting a job is like evil.

26:42Courtney Miller:Yeah. Not only is her boss an asshole, he's also a huge dumbass. Yeah. Like this is a dumb guy. Like I'm sure there's out there, there's good life coaches, but I don't know. This reads to me like a bad Manosphere coach that he hired that's just spouting some bullshit. And I'm just like, I don't like this. Yeah, because it's like I love the idea of people wanting to work on their leadership skills. Because leadership is a skill. But it's like you're already a leader of a team. Like if you want to improve those skills, maybe like spend more time with the actual employees that you have at the company.

27:17And without creating fake job opportunities for people. Like this, it's also just like, is the coach all of their bosses too? Like I personally, I don't think OP is the asshole for quitting. I wish they continued to be an asshole to the boss so that they'd get fired and maybe get severance.

27:35Courtney Miller:Yeah. Because quitting and being fired are very different things. It's true. But. But I mean, she just couldn't tolerate it. No. She couldn't go along with his horrible practices. I always also laugh at like, because it reminds me of just the manosphere shit of like, like, what is in their mind a good leader? Because I'm like, I'm like, oh, I'm a good leader. So I'm going to actually work on having less empathy and less understanding of human beings. I'm like, you don't even understand how another person works. Like, what the hell? Just a dumbass. Verdict, not the asshole. Comments, not the asshole, but report them to the board or some agent.

28:12Courtney Miller:This sounds highly illegal or immoral to say the least. John is using his power to steamroll hundreds of people. Ew. Someone else said, not the asshole. And if they ask why you do not have a reference or why you left your old job, tell them the truth. I would hire you in a second just based on this incident. Someone said, not the asshole. Hopefully John's life coach has experience in helping people apply for unemployment benefits. I think John is going to need it. Someone said, not the asshole. Your notice period was exactly as real as those job openings. And hey, having to scramble to cover your spot will teach him flexibility and gumption, making him a better leader.

28:43Courtney Miller:Good on you for sticking to your ethics. Yeah. That is such like a that's such an awful story to hear. Like, it's just so sad. Yeah. Like there's so many people like normal people that are just trying to get a job and like live that are being affected by it. And like, I would hope that this is something that is an isolated incident. But who knows what other like kind of awful business practices are going on. Oh, yeah. Especially in the current era, because I've been so lucky to have worked at this job for so long. But I see comments and I see discussions of people talking about how hard it is to get a job right now.

29:20Courtney Miller:People are sending out just an absurd amount of resumes out there and not hearing back. And especially now with the way the internet works and with AI now involved with bullshit. Like it's so hard to like get face to face time and get this close to getting a job. Yeah. Like this guy is evil for doing it. Yeah. But yeah. No update. No update. She quit. She quit. She left. Yeah. I hope that I hope other employees caught on. I hope this was back in 2021. I hope this guy's out of a job now. But Friday's sitting is the new smoking. Insane. Go play The Sims and do that in The Sims. Don't do this with real people.

30:00Yeah.

30:01Courtney Miller:I was like, come on. Do it in VR chat. I don't know. Guys, don't go on VR chat. Don't do it. There's never a reason to go on VR chat. Oh, my God. Anyways. All right. Moving on. Our next one comes from Relationship Advice. It was posted in October of 2021. Girlfriend23 snooped through my male 22 Reddit account and threatened to break up if I didn't change the advice I give out. I think Reddit just ruined my relationship. Let's go. That's awesome. Oh my God. Dude. Okay. This reminds me of like a thing that I feel like you and I have talked about a few times that maybe we'll come back to it. Throwaway account because my primary account is compromised.

30:48Courtney Miller:We have been dating since we were... It's been compromised. Throwaway account, obviously. We have been dating since we were 19 and I love her a lot. She is overall a pretty awesome person, and the dynamic of our relationship is great. We rarely use each other's phones, but also don't mind when we do. Today, she just picked my phone up and started using it. She asked me what Reddit was, and I gave her a rundown of Reddit and how it works. Once I told her about this subreddit and similar ones, she was keen to know the advice I give to strangers on the internet because she thought of asking strangers for advice as a funny concept.

31:23Courtney Miller:She read through most of my comments and used my phone for two hours and was very upset at the end. I asked her what's up and she went ballistic on me Saying I give horrible advice And that I should be ashamed I was obviously confused because I only say stuff I would do and all my advice Is in good faith She said that most of my advice is about breaking up And don't consider biases that the OP might have made in the original post Well he sounds like a reddit comment Sounds like a reddit comment People do be commenting to break up You should break up Break up Are those mozzarella balls? One of the posts she was upset about was of a dude that dumped his girlfriend of nine years because she cheated on him at the start and lied about it or something.

32:07Courtney Miller:My advice was that he should dump the cheater because cheaters don't change and that lying is much worse than cheating. When my girlfriend told me my advice was not good and not true, I asked her if she is a cheater because she clearly is trying to defend one. She said, what if she was one? And I told her we'd be done. This upset her even more. And my dumb ass asked her, are you a cheater? in an asking slash implying tone. That's my bad, and I apologize since that's not what I was trying to say. We talked about other advice I gave out, and with each and every one, she got madder at me. To her, she thought I was a different person and doesn't think as I do about relationships.

32:44Courtney Miller:In my opinion, I have done nothing wrong. I say everything I mean and would probably do that in real life. She said that I need to get a better perspective about relationships and change the kind of advice I give out, otherwise we won't work out. I told her that she threatening me with a breakup for a change in behavior is manipulative, and she already read the advice I gave to one OP in the same circumstance. This truly pissed her off, and she left saying, I need time to think about what I just said. I know this post is stupid, but who else to ask for help with Reddit ruining my relationship other than Reddit?

33:16Courtney Miller:This is mostly a rant with some advice seeking. Edit number one, I will show her this post once we make up, all to show her I'm not the only one that takes infidelity and similar acts so seriously and consider them instant dump worthy. Edit number two, I have been trying to reach her, but she isn't responding, probably ignoring me. So I just shot her a text that I'm done with her. And now there is no point in contacting me. Since she can't even speak to me, I won't beg her to come back. This is not a rom-com. In our last interaction, she raised several red flags. So I felt it was only fair to move on from this relationship.

33:50Courtney Miller:To be honest, if I was not the OP, but a normal commenter. I would advise to break up so that's what I'm doing. I'm not perfect, but I'm also not a hypocrite. Guess I'm single now with a peace emoji. It's like, I lost my flag. Yeah, the last part is a little bit like, all right. Can I jump it? Yeah, sure, sure. I think it's so interesting because we have talked about where a partner sees their boyfriend or girlfriend's Reddit account and they see how they behave online and how it's not what they expected. I think it is so jarring to see internet behavior and then connect it to a real life person.

34:26Because we're so used to scrolling and it's just strangers. We're like, this person who's saying, I would hire you in a second, could be a 13 year old. Like we don't know. And we see these comments all the time that are ignoring nuance every day, but we don't connect it with a real life person in our life. And so it's obviously really jarring for her. And like, I'm glad that nobody's like really rubbing up against the fact that she went through his phone because like with Reddit, you can kind of go to an account and see every comment they've ever left.

34:54Courtney Miller:Yeah. But I think it's just jarring to see such things and like, oh, that's a real person that I am close with talking like that. Yeah, because what I think what I've said to you is I'm like, it's kind of crazy that for most people in the world, there are two people and there's who they are in real life and then who they are on the internet. Because you see so many accounts on Reddit and I'd say, especially with Reddit where it's all anonymous. I'm like, who are these people? do they do they believe what they're saying here there's probably i guarantee you with the way humans work there are so many comments we've read where people are like cheating is wrong you should break up with them and those are left by cheaters yeah like that you just you don't know who these people are and that's the weird thing with as people point out all the time they're like oh that story is probably fake i'm like we don't know anything this could be written by a 12 year old that that marriage advice you're getting could be from anyone we don't know um but it's got to be jarring because there was a story I read where a woman found out that her husband who she was like he's a great guy he's so sweet but his Reddit account he just comments horribly misogynistic shit on posts all the time and it's just like who is this guy?

36:01Courtney Miller:That is who he is but it's like weird where the internet gives people permission in weird ways. Anyways I think this story brings up a lot of like topics around the story but. Yeah I think like for me I think that this is a I want to say it's a red flag. And I think that a lot of Reddit is prone to it, especially with a lot of stories that we read. But people living in a fully, like everything is black and white. There is right and wrong. If someone has cheated in the past, they are a cheater. If someone is a cheater, they deserve to be broken up with. Like, I think that it's very easy for people online to read a story that is coming from one perspective and has bias and be like, okay, this is what's right in this situation.

36:46This person's right and this person's wrong. And I think there's so much nuance that you can't capture in a Reddit story and so much nuance that is completely lost on commenters. And I don't know, honestly, with a story like this, I'm like, for me to make an opinion, I'm like, I gotta read everything this guy's ever said. Every piece of advice he's ever said.

37:11Courtney Miller:Yeah, because it felt like he cherry picked like the most blatantly obvious story where I'm like, okay, but I'm like, what else was going on in this conversation? It's like, oh, so interesting that, you know, he had to start a new account so we can't go see what he was talking about. I also like, I think it's so interesting how she was like, you need to change how you give advice. It's like, no, it sounds like he needs to, she's asking him to change his morals. Like, cause it's not like that's like a different guy posting those things. This is his guy, this guy with his feelings. He backs it up immediately.

37:39Courtney Miller:to his credit he immediately is like I believe that he doesn't deny that yeah it's just so interesting to hear it worded like that and for him to just be like oh she didn't text back so she obviously isn't going to give me the time of day and everybody that commented on this was like she's probably a cheater and is breaking up it's like you were living in such I feel like a distorted reality of like you have to at least give her a chance to like if she ghosts you and doesn't say anything for a week, then it's like, okay, yeah, like I could see that. But I feel like to live in this world of I'm right, you're wrong, you're wrong.

38:17I like whatever it is, it's just, it's really damaging. And I don't think it, you know, is conducive to healthy relationships. I think that there is a lot more talking and figuring out that needs to be done.

38:30Courtney Miller:I agree with that. And I think, yeah, I think it's very convenient. I think the black and white thinking, especially with the internet and especially with, I think in our world today where we feel so little control over anything, it's comforting to go like, that's a bad person. I get to file you into the bad person box and I get to be the good person. I think it's algorithmic thinking and we are using apps that are run by algorithms and it has affected how we think. And we now think algorithmically of categorizing things and putting things into boxes and going, I've read the story. I know you, I know your relationship Break up That's the answer It's like Sometimes the answers Are complicated People who listen To the show Know like How I feel about cheating And that I've been cheated on Does that mean That if someone I'm talking to goes Oh I don't know If someone cheated on me If that's a deal breaker Do I immediately go Then you're a cheater Like I'm like No Like people are complicated And it's more a matter Of like trust It's not a matter Of like good and bad It's a matter of like What I think works And doesn't work Yeah Like the first story Yeah exactly Yeah.

39:34I feel like with how long Reddit has existed, there's, it's just, these heuristics have been formed of like, if someone says this thing, that makes them this. If they speak like this, this is what they believe and that makes them this type of person and that's always the case.

39:49Courtney Miller:It's the jumping to character assumptions with things that always frustrates me with Reddit, right? Because it's going, oh, that act, what you did was wrong. Like, that's hurtful. I'm like, yes, I agree with that. But it's like, therefore, that's who this person is. through and through. And I'm like, well, we don't know that. Yeah, like there's a difference between it's like, Shane, you're being a bitch or Shane, you're a bitch. And I am both. I'm a man of multitude. Yeah, a bad bitch. You're acting like a bitch is different than Shane. You are a full on 100 % of the time bitch. Sorry, sorry. I've said this before, but like the thing that frustrates me and I see it in our comments is like, I don't have a problem if I say something, go, oh, I disagree with what Shane said there.

40:32Courtney Miller:I go, yeah, I even in rewatching it, maybe disagree with what I said. What what frustrates me is when they go, Shane said this, and therefore he must be a really bad friend or Shane clearly is this type of person. I'm like, wow, whoa, like person I don't know and have never seen. Like that's where I'm like, let's be careful there. Based on the context of this story, it sounds like he is the type of person to be like that. Yes. It sounds like he is doing those things of like making very harsh and concise judgments. based on the three paragraphs of text that he's read from the person's perspective.

41:06Courtney Miller:And to be clear as well, if like him talking to his partner and he goes, oh, this guy got cheated on and she lied and tried to hide the cheating. Like, and she goes, I don't think that's a problem. I'd be like, that is a red flag. Yeah, 100%. I'm not saying she is in the clear here. I'm like, what she displayed was a red flag also. We're just observing all the aspects of this story. He was like, I might have been an asshole for going, are you a cheater? But it's like, that's kind of where the conversation was going. And she was actively antagonizing him in that moment. I think he was permitted to ask that question.

41:41Yeah. So like, I do give him that. But yeah, there, there, it was a lot. There was a lot.

41:48Courtney Miller:It was more, it was more the tone there at the end that I was observing. Like everything that actually happened, I don't necessarily have a problem with of him being like, oh, like I think cheating is wrong. And she goes, oh, I don't think cheating is wrong. He goes, are you a cheater? And she goes, what if I am? I'd be like, all right, like that's a conversation. And for me, it's like not about if you're a bad person. It's like, do you have trust for this person now? You don't have trust in the relationship doesn't work. Yeah. I only thing I will criticize him for is I'm like, you went to the place where you frequent of people that you know are like minded to you to get advice.

42:21Courtney Miller:Yeah. Maybe go to someone in real life to if you're having real relationship advice that like, you know the response. I also like if we had the opportunity to read every comment that each person in our lives has ever left, I think we all would have a lot of shattering experience. Oh, for sure. Yeah. So the comments, someone said, so as an avid advisor on this sub, what advice would you give yourself? OP said, this is funny. I feel bad for laughing. My advice would be something I have given out many, many times. Looks like this would be the hill I die on. Someone said, it's a possibility for people to change, but it's also very hard to get trust back that is taken away.

43:03Courtney Miller:People try to go to counseling and try to work out the relationship, but that trust is never going to go back. You can build on new trust, but there's always going to be a lingering feeling. You have no problem giving it to her because you know yourself and you didn't do anything wrong. She took things way out of proportion. Once you're done healing, I hope you find someone that you can trust and speak your mind with that holds no judgment. It's really hard to find, but just stick it out. You have a good head on your shoulders. Good luck. Someone said, A couple years ago, my husband borrowed my laptop while I was logged into Reddit and had left the page open.

43:37Courtney Miller:He read through a bit of my comment history, which actually really freaked me out when he told me. But his comment was that it was comforting to know that I sounded like exactly the same person on the internet as I am in his life. And that I didn't have some secret dark side or inner troll. The point being, I agree with you. If OP genuinely feels like he is the same person on Reddit that he is in real life, something is off in terms of their communication with or perception of each other. Yeah. Yeah, I would say like it. I'm a little shocked they haven't had any sort of convo of like, what's a deal breaker as far as infidelity goes?

44:10Courtney Miller:Not that that's like a obvious conversation for people, but I'm just like, that was a big topic that they had never broached. And she had an extreme take and he had an extreme. How long were they together again? Like four years. Yeah. They were on polar opposite sides of this view. And it's like, yeah, that doesn't work. Yeah. Yeah. Not to be a Redditor, but I feel like. No, I mean, it's like. It is like her response to the question and topic of cheating is like, I would feel equally as uncomfortable. Yeah. I'd be like. Absolutely. That is not how I would want someone to respond. I don't want any people, anybody listening to this to think that I'm saying what she said was fine.

44:47Courtney Miller:Yeah. No. So doing this show and reading so many Reddit stories, this story was interesting because it felt meta in a way. Yeah, I was going to say, it feels like the whole time I was talking about it, I was like, I don't even think I was actually talking about this story. I think I was just talking about Reddit as a whole and like people like there is it is possible for two people to be both right and wrong in the same story. Yeah, absolutely. Everyone sucks. And in the end, everyone sucks. Yeah. Everyone sucks mozzarella balls. Oh, double reference. Nice. Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole?

45:23Courtney Miller:Posted in May of 2021. Am I the asshole for refusing to get rid of a painting my friend made me? My best friend and I, 23-year-old women, met doing art at uni and since then have always had a tradition of giving each other homemade gifts, varying in levels from absolutely awful but well-loved to genuinely time-consuming pieces of art. They have always been a bit on the nose, collages of drunken misdeeds and dodgy shaped pottery, etc. Everyone I'm close to is well aware of this tradition and we all tend to get a laugh out of it. This year she gifted me a canvas, A4-ish size, painting of me standing beside a male celebrity that we both like.

46:03Courtney Miller:I absolutely loved it and sent pictures to one of our group chats where everyone laughed at how cringe but genuinely lovely of a gift it was. straight afterwards I got a text from my boyfriend two years telling me that he was pissed off and upset at how insulting it was for me to be displaying that in my flat when he would be coming over it really upset me but I stood my ground and told him that it was my flat and this was a genuinely time consuming piece of art that my friend had put time and effort into so I would not be getting rid of it just because it made him insecure I know there wasn't any malice on my friend's part in gifting it to me she like me genuinely wouldn't have considered something like that would be upsetting.

46:41Courtney Miller:My boyfriend lives in a house with roommates where they have posters of women on the walls and I don't really see the difference, but now I'm beginning to doubt myself. I won't get rid of it. I broke the flag. I broke the flag. I waved it too hard. Too red of a flag. Oh no. I'm beginning to doubt myself. I won't get rid of it like he wants me to, but should I be more sympathetic and hide it from him? Edit, thank you so much for all the advice since people have asked, it's a very PG painting. The celebs chest up with an arm around me. I think she took reference from a meet and greet with him and a fan and just replaced the fan with me.

47:15Courtney Miller:Oh, see, I thought it was gonna be a painting of like her and the Grinch and the Grinch's balls are in her mouth. Oh my God, Shane. Now that would be funny. Now that would be funny. I want one of those but me. Sorry. It was like, come on. It was low-hanging fruit.

47:40sorry that's good stuff i'm just picturing like imagine like your your girlfriend is drawing something and it's like them and you're like oh that's so nice and then you start seeing them drawing another guy and like no no no no no like it is not real it's not real bro okay um yeah this

48:03Courtney Miller:This is a red flag on the boyfriend. Yeah. I want to know who the celebrity is. Yeah. Is it Edward Cullen? Okay, guesses. I would guess like, let's see, this is posted 2021. And they're 23-year-olds. They're 23 in 2021. Could be like Harry Styles. Could be a Styles. I think a Pattinson or a Styles because if they're at uni, they're calling it at uni, they're probably - Ooh, they're British. Yeah, or from the UK. Chris Evans. Yeah, it could be Chris Evans. it could be there's no way it's like a Timmy C what if it was like Liam Neeson it doesn't feel like a Timmy C Liam Neeson would be I don't think he's like nah no I'm going you're going Grinch with balls in your mouth yeah I know yeah we know Shane no no even though that's funny no Grinch Green to all our fan art friends don't don't or don't or do don't I drew fan art of Shane I'm like oh

49:04Our PO box is fucked. Dang it. Why'd I have to get cast in the Grinch balls episode? Grinch balls Reddit stories? Please.

49:19That's so good. All right. What's the internet saying?

49:22Courtney Miller:Okay. Okay. He's looking at pictures of Grinch's balls. No. Comments. Disposal services? I'd like to arrange a pickup Yes, the whole man Nice Someone said, my mom has a full room of shitty portraits Of various male hunks that I did for her During my teenage I'ma be an artist phase My father never batted an eye This room is now unofficially his office Someone said, not the asshole, and this is a huge red flag It makes no sense for him to be pissed off or insecure about a painting He wants you to get rid of something That your friend lovingly made for you And he's making you doubt yourself Yeah, not only is it not something like she made herself It's like a friend made this It's like a gift Dude, it's the sweater curse Remember when someone needs a sweater It affects somebody Somebody gets affected Let's shed some light on the fact that The guy has a house that has sexy women On posters in their place There is a serious issue If you have this level of jealousy Over what is just a gift And is a fictional concept Yeah.

50:27Courtney Miller:Right. God forbid she actually went to a meet and greet and got a pick. Yeah. I think that there is some nuance to the like celebrity crush thing. And I can understand how like some people could be insecure about like if someone was like way over the top and constantly being like, oh, my God, I love that. They're so like constantly talking. But if it's a little portrait that your friend drew and it's like a little inside joke between two of you or whatever, just someone that you like, like, where is the harm? Yeah, truly. There is healthy amounts of it. It kind of falls into, it's a different category.

50:57Courtney Miller:I was going to say there was the one where the guy was like mad that his girlfriend was reading like spicy books. Right. And it's just kind of like, hey man, there's a realm of fiction. And I think a lot of celebrity crushes fall into the realm of fiction. Yeah, 100%. Right, where it's like, oh, this isn't a real thing. I just like this idea of a thing and it's just a fun whatever. Yeah, 100%. No, and it's still like the fact that wherever he lives with his guy roommates, they have pictures of women up all over the place. like then they're living in the 80s I know I literally am picturing like the 80s high the high waisty like muscly tan girls I feel like you would have that poster I do no you don't it's just not up right now it's up in a room you don't know about bro what room I do have that one painting that's like sexy legs yeah that's like a very artsy that's not so so it's the same it's like but you know what I'm saying like it is it's not sexual but it is I've got it's a little cat and he's got a little cowboy hat on and then a little gun like a little kitten with a little cowboy it's like a little cowboy cat I think what I'm trying to say is it's like it's all harmless so like if he should not see the harm if he doesn't see the harm in his own stuff update whoa they painted the bottom half of the painting and they're naked in the bottom half of the painting Whoa.

52:19Courtney Miller:Final guesses for celebrities. It's a celebrity man. Popular in 2021. Robert Downey Jr. It's a good guess. I think, I feel like RP. I think Robert Pattinson was a good, that was a good guess. I feel good about that. I've seen the photo, so I know. Okay. For those interested, we have split up. Oh. I know it seems like it's over something so trivial it's laughable, but I tried to have a civil conversation and explained that I wasn't willing to compromise on this. He got physically imposing and called me and my friend, which was truly the last straw, various vulgarities, which was very out of character but enough of a raging red flag for me to get the fuck out.

52:51Courtney Miller:He didn't even try to explain rationally why it made him upset. Just that he was upset, I hadn't thrown it away. Upon recollection, he probably was looking for an excuse to break up. At least I'm hoping so, or I really did waste two years of my life hung up on somebody genuinely threatened by an oil painting. He picked his hill and died a really embarrassing death on it. I've contacted his mom to make sure he's okay, booked a drinks night with my best friend, and I will now officially be telling everybody that Sebastian Stan ended my last relationship. Thank you so much to everyone who gave me advice.

53:22Courtney Miller:You are all lovely. X. Whoa, Sebastian Stan's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. With the Winter Soldier wig on. Oh, duh, bro. Winter Soldier, Sebastian Stan. Yeah, but like with the wig though? Because that wig is rough. No, not the greasy wig. I can't do the greasy wig. I don't know. I need the haircut. Whatever one you got a haircut in. Good pick though. A haircut one. A pick we respect. Yeah, I mean, his response, she did the absolute right call. I know we just before said like, hey, like not everything is breakup worthy, but like, no, this, this, this. She tried to talk to him and he gave her his response.

53:59He did his big one.

54:00Courtney Miller:I will also point out something that I feel like is commented a lot that I think of is like, oh, he yelled out these vulgarities, which is very out of character for him. It's like, actually, I think you just got to finally see his character. Unlocked character. Yeah. Like, no, that's his character. You're like unlocking a skill tree in life and it's like, ooh, I'm going to choose the calling people vulgarities one. That's my next level up. Yeah. Love that tree. Yeah. Or like the star constellation in Skyrim. The abusive narcissist tree. What kind of build are you doing this run? Stealth narcissist.

54:38Courtney Miller:Stealth narcissist is crazy. Oh my God. It's like, oh, crazy. Anyways, I think I'm going to do Barbarian. Barbarian cheater. Barbarian cheater. I was just thinking about doing like a mage, but I don't know. Oh, yeah, for sure, dude. Just a normal one. Mage Redditor. Oh, yeah. What are you playing as? Oh, so I'm an Argonian cheater right now. All right. We're having fun here. All right. It's time for our final story. Boom. And this comes from the subreddit Two Hot Takes. Shout out to Morgan over at Two Hot Takes. Man, good subreddit. people submit some good shit over there like this one mother-in-law thinks I am a witch because I dressed up as one for Halloween hot well if it's that one episode of Buffy hot yeah it is oh yeah and that Buffy anyway for the few Buffy fans out there any Buffy few bro grow up it's a lot more than a few you're telling Jane to grow up is awesome grow up that show came out before you were born yeah so what So did a lot of great pieces of media.

55:45Courtney Miller:To be fair, I was also like five years old when it started. So it's not like I was watching it either. I married my husband about a year ago, and we'd been together for about three. I don't know his parents all too well, mainly because he had made a point to keep a fair amount of distance from them. But during all the wedding planning and events, I thought it would be nice to be closer with them, especially as both of my parents had passed away several years ago. I encouraged my husband to build more of a relationship with them. However, around the time of the wedding, I started to see a bunch of red flags.

56:13Courtney Miller:I generally chalked them up to wedding stress on them. My husband is their only son. But after the wedding, the red flags started getting even bigger. I was still nothing but kind towards them, but my husband was frustrated and started going low contact with them. So that's the backstory. Now on Saturday, my husband and I went to a friend's birthday party, which was Halloween themed and costumes mandatory. We both got too busy with work. And at the last minute, the only costume we could put together was him wearing a t-shirt that said, I'm with the witch and me wearing a black dress I already owned with a black choker necklace.

56:44Courtney Miller:That's it, you guys, the extent of our costume. We took a picture at this party and it was put on the socials. The next day, mother-in-law texts hubby and I a screenshot of said picture and writes a message about how concerned she is about us and that she is praying for us. I was confused until my husband reminded me of her Karen Christianity. You know, the kind that gets offended if anyone happens to be a different religion, offended if anyone says what the hell, etc. My husband then starts getting phone calls from random distant and extended family members asking if he's okay. Turns out Karen has texted my husband's entire extended family, uncles, aunts, cousins all over the country.

57:20Courtney Miller:The same screenshot of our picture with a long five paragraph text asking everyone to pray for her son that I, her daughter-in-law, am into some dangerous things and is a danger to her son. Huh? She doesn't spell out her cockamamie belief that she thinks I am a witch. Instead, she says that I am into bad and dangerous things and that I am dragging her son down with me. And she asks everyone to pray for him and pray for me too. Bless her heart for being so generous with her prayers for I am but an evil witch. So of course the extended family members assume maybe I'm into drugs or I'm poisoning him or some other type of abuse.

57:53Courtney Miller:You can see what this would do for my reputation in this extended family. I text her back and tell her that her actions were uncalled for and that I will be going no contact with her moving forward. She responds with daughter-in-law, We all know you dabble in witchcraft. I am only concerned about my son. I pray for you both. Husband called his father and asked him how he could let her do something like this. But father-in-law doubled down on Karen's accusations. So now my husband has gone no contact with his parents too. I feel like I am in a really bad soap opera. This isn't real life. This has to be certifiably insane, right?

58:25Courtney Miller:Part of me feels like no contact isn't forever. And that eventually my husband and they will reconnect even if I don't. Which does bother me. What would you all do in this situation? Pick of the costume. It's nothing. It's, yeah. She's got a choker on. It says, I'm with the witch. Honestly, I'm reserving a very tiny speck of my judgment here for how low effort that costume is. Yeah. I have a lot of judgment for the parents. I'm like, look, you could have. I was expecting so much more. I was expecting hat, gown, broom, skin painted. Yeah. You left me wanting more there on the costume, but I'll allow it.

59:01I'll let it slide this time, OP.

59:04Courtney Miller:This is, you know, I feel like we've brought up a lot of big Reddit convos. And this is another one of another Reddit thing is no contact. It's like, oh, cut them out of your life. But here's the reality. A lot of people's parents, they're no contact for a damn good reason. Because they're dangerous to him. They are controlling, they're manipulative, and they are just, yeah, what do you do about this? This is so extreme. I'm so confused because like what fed into this that this one photo decided it? I think, I mean, because he was saying, so where I'm a little frustrated at OP, like a little frustrated, is that she talks about she's like, he's very distant from his parents.

59:48Right.

59:48Courtney Miller:So planning up to the wedding, I encouraged him to like get his parents back into his life. Because her parents are passed away. She clearly must have had a good relationship with her parents. So she's going, you should be, you should too. It's like why – I feel like what they should have is really had more of a convo of why are you almost – or low contact or almost no contact with your parents because this happened very quickly. Yeah. I think, you know, coming from, you know, not a family like that, but, you know, growing up in Idaho and around a lot of kind of like conservative, like Christian evangelical type things is like, this is the type of person, if I had to guess, the mother is very Christian and very controlling of her son or, you know, for whatever reason.

1:00:30and he goes off to live his life and probably kind of steps away from that a little bit and is now marrying someone who's, if I had to guess, not a Christian. And now she's putting all of that blame because in her eyes, it's like, oh, that's my perfect Christian son. And this woman, this secular woman has come in and ruined him and turned him to the devil. And now maybe this picture on Instagram was enough for her to be like, all right, here's finally the piece of evidence that I can send around to everyone and be like, see, she's evil. She's ruining our, this is, you know, your family member and they're, and it's just so toxic and awful.

1:01:09And it just comes from this very like controlling place. Like imagine having to feel like you need to put out a PR statement for your family, for your bloodline. Yeah. Like the fact that a witch picture, a costume photo, it's like, hello, just getting on here to say, I am not a witch.

1:01:26Courtney Miller:Yeah. Hey everyone. Like, where are we in the internet? that people are believing that. I know. And the fact that, so this Karen might be saying some really nasty things to try and back up this, because it's baseless. It's one photo. On a smaller note, it's so disrespectful and controlling for her to do to her son, where she's like, my son, who is incapable of living his own life or making his own decisions, I must make the decision for him. Right. And tell all our family how they should feel about my son. It's like she's completely taking away his life and agency. Yeah. And it's like, this is a fully grown man.

1:01:59Courtney Miller:Like, this isn't some kid, you know? Like, I just, based on the picture, it's like, this is clearly a man who's, like, definitely, like, in his 30s or 40s. It's like, oh, my God, you're doing that to him now? Like, she probably was way worse back in the day. And it's like, and yeah, it's probably because they got into more contact with everything. And they're probably just regretting it. I don't think necessarily she needs to feel worried that they're going to get back close to the family without her. I don't think he needs much of an excuse to go no contact. Yeah. Again, like I think the biggest red flag is like I've experienced this where someone will like go around calling people and just disparaging a person.

1:02:38And like it's sad that that's happening, obviously. And it's also sad when people just choose to believe that. And like, but, you know, people were texting him saying, hey, are you OK? Like what's going on? They thought something.

1:02:50Courtney Miller:Yeah. Yeah, so I would hope that that was them giving them the benefit of the doubt because it's like if someone's ever calling around or calling you just to like talk just to talk shit about someone. It's a red flag to me. And it's like so it's so toxic on her part to her entire family because she's clearly misrepresenting this and like making them worried. Like potentially like you're now adding worry into their life that like, oh, it's like something going on. Like, is everything OK when he's just living his normal life and he's very happy. And now they're like, OK, I forbid. I've spent this time now worrying because she's crazy.

1:03:24And like, yeah, it's just, it's so insane. It's, yeah.

1:03:29Courtney Miller:Comments. She was looking for a reason to give you the boot and the costume was the perfect moment. She seemed super toxic. No wonder why he kept his distance to begin with. Opie said, you are absolutely right. Someone said, mother-in-law wrote herself out of your lives with this one. I would go no contact until she apologized, which might be never. It might be for the best for this to happen now over something as trivial and silly as a Halloween costume. If it wasn't this, it'd be something else eventually. Someone said, your husband knew of his parents' red flags and did his best to keep you safe from them.

1:03:57Courtney Miller:W hubby. W hubby. W hubby. W hubby. Lastly, someone said, dress up as your mother-in-law as a witch. Side note, if she really thinks you're a witch and into dangerous things, why is she messing with you? Ask her. Then ask for a lock of hair. Ooh. I actually think after all this, I don't know if I believe the mother actually believes she's a witch. I think she's just like willing to do whatever she has to like. Yeah, I think it's like, yeah, She's just controlling. And it's this very like weird, like, I don't know why it is such a thing, but this weird like little mama's boy. Like, oh, that's my little precious baby boy.

1:04:29And like he can never do any wrong. And if he doesn't have the perfect girl that I picked out for him, then I'm just going to be an evil, awful person to her. Yeah. No, that's so real. So what do we think they should dress up next Halloween? Two angels?

1:04:44Courtney Miller:Change her mind. Trick her. Torment her. Angels. Yeah. Angels. And they post and they go, we've gone to heaven. Yeah. And she's just like, oh. Jesus? Yeah, she should be Jesus. That'll really tick her off. And Jesus is a woman! Head explodes. Well, that was our last story. That was it. I think witches are awesome. Yeah, I do too. I like witches. I think so. I love the movie The Wicked Witch of the East, bro. That one's scary. The Vavitch? The Vavitch? The Vavitch? The Vavitch is one of my favorites. What's the one? What's the Midnight Margarita one? A Practical Magic. Practical Magic. I've never seen Practical Magic.

1:05:20Courtney Miller:Don't tell Amanda. You've never seen Practical Magic? How could you not know what Practical Magic is? You've never seen Practical Magic? I know what Practical Magic is. Practical Magic is like the Muhammad Ali of witch movies. Good reference. Nice. Good reference. Good reference. Wow. People are going to know what Reddit stories I was watching. I was practicing being with Trevor this morning by watching a Reddit story. Yeah. It's like I haven't talked to Trevor and so. a lot. I haven't been in a video with Trevor in so long, I gotta remember what this kid's like. Feels good to be back in here, guys.

1:05:56Yeah. And just making videos in general.

1:05:57Courtney Miller:I'm excited for us to be in our actual new studio. Oh, yeah. It's gonna be cool. It's gonna be sick. It's gonna be sick. Hey, stick around. I don't know when the air dates or when we'll get new videos. Stick around. Next up is the Suite Life of Zack and Cody. Anyways. Yeah. Alright, this has been chill. eat mozzarella balls responsibly. You guys are a couple of green flags to me. You guys are green flags. Always have been. Look, since I know you guys in real life, you guys are green flags. Now I need to see your Reddit history. Good dude. Perfect. No, forget about it. I have one comment. Do you know what it is?

1:06:37It was one where Xbox was down and there was a whole thread about Xbox being down and I was like, it's 3pm but it's still down. That's my only one. This is great. This is real and true. I don't even have a Reddit account. I don't have a Reddit account.

1:06:50Courtney Miller:I've never left a comment. I've thought about making one. I have too. I've thought about making one and then commenting like on the Smosh Reddit. Yes. And just being like, I see you guys. Yeah. I'm lurking. I'm always here. Someone leaves a mean like comment and you're just like, you're being a real dork right now. I'm not kidding. I've thought about making a Reddit account and being my biggest hater as a bit. Yeah. That's pretty good. So that people are like, who's this guy who hates Shane? Why isn't he banned? And then I would reveal it like years later and be like, I was my biggest hater. And there's a lesson there.

1:07:25And there's a lesson.

1:07:26Courtney Miller:Not to act poetic, but aren't we all? Anyways. All right. Bye, guys. See you later. Bye. Bye.