Readers Beware... | Reading Reddit Stories

24:15Yeah. You can call us and then we'll handle it. It's like, yeah. I mean, what can you do? You can just be like, all right, well, we looked. And if. Start a manhunt for a pervert. just start like clinking two underwears together and see if like he... Have underwear underneath a big box with a stick. Yeah. And when he goes under there, you pull the stick. And then boom. And then he goes, duck season, fire. And then you shoot and his beak is backwards. All right, we're getting a picture of the snake. All right. I don't want pictures of the sink. I don't want pictures of the snake. I don't want pictures of the underwear or the mattress.

24:49I want to see the gnome. The bottles of piss. Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, go back. Wait, slow down. Oh, okay. A snake at the bottom. My creepy house is playing with me. A snake at the bottom of the stairs, and then there's a snake at the bottom of the stairs. But that's a snake. Like, snakes exist. Well, we know it's barking. They will go into your house. Snakes exist and gnomes don't. Yeah. What's he planning on doing? He doesn't have legs for the stairs. Is this the first story? I'm not. We have. It's been like a half hour. I'm not going to read a snake. It's been 30 minutes? I don't know. Did I read this?

25:26I'm using the hairdryer, and I hear what sounded like my husband again. This time I heard him say, Philly Goose, my nickname, in a high-pitched, sing-songy voice. He does this very often, and I felt relief. I open the bathroom door, and I shout, thank God, I've been really on edge. No response, nothing. And then after all that, she goes down to the bottom of the stairs, and there's a snake at the bottom. I feel like once again it sounds like this guy who was potentially living up there was like a creep is this like a whole bit are you guys doing a never ending really scary story that's not going to stop until the end no no because I'm starting to get a little freaked no no update no like we're on like seven updates alright but we didn't know we had that one okay we're done we're done that's where it was left off a bunch of creepy stuff happened they found proof that a guy was living in the what you can't just do that You can't just do that.

26:18I was like, no, no. It always works with Amanda. You can't just do that. I feel so bad in haunted houses because I love scary stuff, but I'm not easily scared. So usually, like, now we all have masks, but, like, usually I'm just, like, smiling. And they're like, rah, I'm like, like, I'm just having a great time. Yeah. That was so funny. I tried to scare you. You can't just do that. Sorry, no, you can't just do that. Next story. Let's move on to our next story. so Angela can stop freaking out. Yeah, it's all okay. Update, there was another snake. Our next story. I have gnomes in my house. No, like literally.

26:56I'm actually mad about it. We should do that to Amanda the second she's back. Yes! And you're in the episode. Yes! And then we'll just keep going. Yeah, sounds like a great time, Shane. Have fun. All right. Okay. This one comes from the subreddit advice. And it came from September of 2020. I think my girlfriend has been trying to get me fired from all my jobs. I'm shaken. Please help me. I'm a 24-year-old man, and I've been with my girlfriend. Let's call her Janice. She's 29 for two and a half years. I just finished my education where we started dating, and I have been doing all sorts of jobs since, sometimes two at a time.

27:38I did this to expand my resume and gather job experience. I worked in cafes, bookstores, a library, a grocery store, and as an English tutor. Most of those jobs lasted about three to five months. My shortest stay was two and a half weeks, my longest eight months. But since I didn't have a hard time applying for new positions, I tried to block it out, though it was kind of eating me up internally. People called to complain about me. People left bad reviews about me. People used my employee Wi-Fi access to look up sketchy things on the internet under my name. Former employees called to inform them about me.

28:09Right name and all, and much, much more subtle stuff that I couldn't disprove. But I was too anxious to do anything about it. I just told my girlfriend. She comforted me. She supported me every time I got my life ruined by these people. But I kept going, though they kept finding me. Fast forward to this week. I currently hold a part-time position at a bakery. I've been working there for two months and a half. It's going okay, but my manager approached me about something regarding our Google reviews. Someone was complaining about an employee, and their description of them could only really fit me.

28:39It was on a day where we were pretty short of staff, so I could have been the only person in the store on that day for all I know. Anyway, their review contained some pretty elaborate and nasty comments about me. This has happened on one or two of my jobs already. I told my manager that it was all pretty bogus and that someone had a vendetta against me, as it has happened before. She believed me and told me that she'll dismiss the comment. On my break, I checked out the review myself. Their username was kind of stupid. I'm not going to type it out here since I still work there, but I'll just call them Mick Birtle, as it was in the same range of sounds kind of fake, but not really.

29:15Anyway, I come home, but don't tell Janice about it. She had heard it all before, so I didn't see the point in complaining about another time I almost lost my position. We chat, all is well, and she leaves the room. Her phone is on the table, and suddenly she gets a notification or an email of some sort from Google. I don't remember what it said exactly But the pop-up read something along the lines of Mick Myrtle, manager, has responded to your review My heart dropped I've been trying to ignore it since This was two days ago It just fits in the picture of bad reviews It fits in the picture of the phone complaints My workplaces have received about me in the past It fits in the picture of all the sketchy things I've been fired for Why would she do that though?

29:56I'm looking for an explanation This literally can't be She's the only thing keeping me sane I don't know what to do. Dude. Whoa. That freaks me out. I'm like almost lost at this because. Yeah, it's just like, she's just doing this to him. I've seen a fair amount of like that category of thing where like someone can like, the idea of like, wow, so one person's just gonna take it upon themselves to like ruin your life. It's like, yep. Like sometimes people can be like that. But they're still dating? They're still dating and she still comforts him. Well, it's only a couple days since he saw that.

30:36And so he's lying for something. But I mean, it wasn't a bad ex or anything. No, she's there together. And he's talking about her like, oh, she comforts me. She's there for me. This is all great. To be honest, this almost sounds like, and this is not a real sort of diagnosis or anything. It reminds me of Munchausen's by proxy type of vibes. It does, it does. She's harming him to put him in a vulnerable position where she's then there to comfort him. She's also five years his senior. So like it could just be like he just finished school and maybe it's like, oh, he doesn't need you anymore. Well, yes, you do.

31:12Don't worry. Like, oh, that's now we're we're we're not psychologists like that. I mean, I am. But I'm just like, yeah, but but I'm just like that reminds me of what I hear about with those things. But it's also reminds me of a Reddit story that I don't know if we've read on here of a woman who found out her boyfriend, who is the sweetest guy. She's like, he's so sweet. He's so great. She's like, but I found out that he, on Reddit, just goes on subreddits and just says horrible shit to women. Like, leaves horrible comments to women. And I'm like, think about this. How often in real life do you meet people that are just, that seem great?

31:47But you then go online and you see all these horrible comments. And you're like, who is leaving these comments? Are they like that in real life? Are they amongst us? Honestly, it's a terrifying aspect of the internet, right? is that all of us are a little different when we go onto anonymous forums and can type whatever. So what are people doing? It's an awful thing to consider, but it's why trust is so important. But this takes it to another level of like, you're doing it to me, but it's a full thing that people can get away with and do. The internet is such a scary thing. There's so much beauty that comes from the internet, like people connecting, et cetera.

32:27But so much power lies in the hand of like every individual that like even if one out of 10 ,000 people is crazy and vindictive and mean, it's like that one person can have so much of an effect on your life. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, once again, it goes towards the like being skeptical of what you read on the internet because you don't know who's posting it. Yeah. You don't know who's saying it. And it's so scary that one person can get someone fired from that many jobs. One person could create life on multiple levels and come at you on all sides. That's what's scary about this is like the multiple usernames.

33:07Yeah. I remember I took a class at UCLA and it was like some type of psychology class or something. And it was all based in like, and this was like in 2017, 2015. Like, and I can't imagine taking something like this now, but it was like a, it was a class where we got on Second Life. It was like, oh. Yeah, yeah. And then we like. Second life? Yeah. And we, and she had us like be as different as we could. And then kind of as far as we can go there. And then write about the idea that we had a separate life. And like what that made me think. And the safety I felt being able to do whatever I wanted with no one knowing that was me.

33:46Yeah. Right? And it was like. I mean, it was just bare. I mean, it wasn't even that developed of a game, I guess, at the time. But like that and just talking about like how no one knew that was me and what that did to my brain. And like. No, I mean, here's the thing. The Internet, as we know it, has developed so fast, so powerfully in the past, I mean, five years, every year. Psychologists, our understanding of what it's doing to us is not keeping up. We'll know in like 50 years what it's doing to us. but we're always going to find out after the fact, right? And now we have AI talking to us all the time.

34:24We have no idea what that's doing to people. But like, this is an aspect. Anonymity does so much to a person. Truly. Like, it does so much to a person. And it's very scary. And clearly she has the ability to just invisibly affect him. I mean, honestly, and these are stories, though, that go back. Like, think about, this is so lame, but I'm thinking Cyrano Bertriac. I'm thinking like disguises, like in old stories too, where it's like I want to become another person. I want to create life that's different than my own. Yeah, yeah. And I want to manipulate other people using my pen. It's like. I can control people.

34:59I can control his life. Oh my gosh, I never thought about like all those Shakespeare plays. It's like the original catfishing. Yeah. Yeah, Midsummer Night's Dream is basically like catfishing. Yeah, like violent. Shakespeare was like, this is going to hit in 500 years. All right, comments. Please, for the love of God, do not stay with that woman. She is sick. Who the hell does that to someone they love? Someone replied to that saying, It's like that girl who was putting nicotine patches on her partner every night. So when she left, he would be chemically dependent on her and start going through withdrawal.

35:33Did not hear that one. Yeah, it's like that one time. Yeah, it's like that one time with the gnome. Someone said, This is extreme manipulation and abuse. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about you having gone through this for years. losing job after job and being devastated and confused. The worst is you confiding in her and her knowing exactly what she did to you. I really don't understand how anyone can do this to someone they love. Please, OP, for your sake, you need to leave this relationship. Lastly, someone said, OP, this vile McMurtle is the real version of your girlfriend. The version you love is a fantasy image she used to trap you.

36:07Yeah, this is one of those where it's like, I don't think you're going to be able to understand what's going on. You can't. Update. Oh, gnomes. Hello, people who are still invested. I'm sorry for not updating you guys earlier. A lot has been going on. First of all, yes, we broke up. That's why I'll be referring to her as my ex from now on. Anyway, let's start from the beginning. On the Monday of the following week, I couldn't take the uncertainty anymore. I told my ex I needed her booking account to book a train ticket to visit my dad for a few days. She complied, and when she was in the shower getting ready for work, I booked my ticket and started looking through her emails.

36:44After some digging, I found an email to herself which contained a spreadsheet file. I sent the file to myself, printed it out, and took a screenshot. Why? The spreadsheet contained about every single information about me that there was. Numbers, emails, passwords, work times, colleagues. Their numbers in social medias, as well as some emails and passwords that she used for accounts to ruin my life with. Everything was on there, conveniently sorted for her to ruin my life as efficiently as possible. When she left for work, I decided it would be best to immediately pack my stuff. Nothing that mattered would be left behind.

37:17I felt like a wanted man, like I was being hunted despite not being seemingly out of place. I called my boss, told her I would be taking some time off from work, and headed out to see my dad. Needless to say, he was the sanity I needed. I cried about everything I saw. I panicked for a whole two days straight about how my life was ruined and I didn't know what to do. He had to sleep on the couch in the guest room because I was so scared of my ex coming in. He handled it like a champ. I love you, Dad. He called the police, a lawyer, and most recently a therapist for me because I was in the most horrible state of my entire life.

37:47We're currently sorting out the legal stuff. I haven't talked to my ex except for letting her know it was over and that she's a sick psychopath. My dad handled the rest. I changed all my passwords, and now I'm looking for a new place to live. And that's the last update. Police, lawyer, therapy, repeat. Police, lawyer, therapy, repeat. Yeah. Call the Avengers on your ex. I like, I don't know. I'm sure all of us have experienced levels of like breaches of trust that sort of shake you for a while. I don't know how you process that. Yeah. Yeah, this makes cheating look like nothing. Like I'm like, oh, dude, why couldn't you just sleep with someone else?

38:31Like, goddamn. And I'm scared for this person. You're terrified. And not just OP. I mean, I'm scared for this. like this person is... Because that's behavior that doesn't stop. No, they're not like lesson learned. No, it's one of those where it's like do everything you can because this person needs to be like. Something needs to happen. Yeah. And it's not even that. Like this could follow specifically him for years. That's where my head's at where I'm like I'd be more scared of you being my ex. Like you need to be my ex but I'm now terrified forever. This is what she did when she liked you. Sorry.

39:06No, no, no. It's like one of those types of extreme abuse that it's gonna get worse when you stop it. Yeah. And a lot of people are, like, all they can do is rely on loved ones. Thank God OP had their dad. Yeah. Like, you just need people around you and that's just so, it's so hard and horrifying. I can't imagine. I would probably do the same thing as him. I think, no, this is such a unique situation, right? I've never heard of anything like this. But what I've also heard the advice given in situations where it's like you need to get out is like, before they know that you're getting out, get everything in order.

39:41And so if I was his friend and he told me about this, I'd be like, change all your passwords, change all your information, and then clean sweep, get out. No, I mean, that's a lot of abusive relationships. That is like the best advice that I would have given him. But also at the same time, you have to get out. And even if it's worse, when you get out, it's like, you have, like, if you stay, you know what's going to happen. Well, isn't that kind of what he did? He was like, I'm going to book a train ticket to see my dad. and then he's like, I got there and changed all my passwords. I think he basically did that.

40:09Yes, he did effectively do that. And I think it worked out because she didn't know that he was. So I think that is effectively what he did. It's kind of just, but it's about the point where it's like an abuser at this level is going to get set off so bad when you catch them. Yes. And they're going to double down or come in another way. And it's like, you got to protect yourself. Yeah. And fortunately, they're not married, right? Because I know people say that about like, get the papers together. first and then let them know because but um this is so unique and it's like terrifying because she's she is smart she had a whole spreadsheet with all the information i mean what a what an awful such i would rather have every ghost i was about to say like i wish this was ghosts i i'll take ghosts every time see i don't know if i could i will take ghosts every time ghosts can't use excel so you'd be unclear ghosts can't make spreadsheets i've never heard of a haunted spreadsheet.

41:04But I can block a person. I can't block a ghost. I'm going to be real honest. I would be skeptical if I can block this person. This person seems terrifying. No, you're so right. I hope it's been five years. I hope this person's doing well. I hope their ex is... I hope their ex has faced repercussions. I hope their ex... Or has miraculously learned to be a better person. Yeah. Died. Or died. This next one comes from Am I the Asshole. Would I be the asshole for telling my sister about her husband's creepy AF novel about me? My sister, four years younger than me, and her husband have been married for two years, together for five.

41:49Brother-in-law and I dated during high school, and it ended under circumstances that were not ideal. Brother-in-law and I have not gotten along since he and sister got together. My sister essentially believes I'm jealous of her for marrying my one who got away. He is not that. So our relationship has also suffered as a result. This whole situation is already fucked up. And yes, I'm pretty sure it's putting my therapist's kid through college. But that's not the problem right now. Recently, brother-in-law has begun reaching out to me more frequently. I've been very cautious, but after talking it over with people in my own life, chose to be more friendly toward him as part of an attempt at repairing certain aspects of my relationship with the entire family.

42:29Last week, brother-in-law asked if I would read a book he had written with the underlying implication that I would help him career-wise with his aspirations as a writer. Out of politeness and curiosity, I said sure, thinking I would perhaps get a good laugh out of it and a story to tell my publishing friends. The book is about us. No!

42:55I don't know how else to put it. It's a domestic thriller. So think Gone Girl, You, etc. About a man who realizes he has married the wrong sister. And becomes obsessed with his sister-in-law. Sugar water. It's one of the weirdest things I have ever seen. It doesn't exactly read like a manifesto. more like something you'd see on our men writing women. But aspects of the story were deeply unsettling to me personally, touching on things that happened to me in high school and later. And I don't understand why he would give this to me to read unless he wanted to either creep me out or, as in the story, he intends to leave my sister and wanted to see if this would.

43:42Jesus, it's too weird to say. Open a door with me. I'm the scat man.

43:53I can't explain it, but I'm so uncomfortable, I have to scat. The Angela Giratana story. They said she couldn't jazz, but she just had to. This man makes me scat. Well. Keep going. Don't say it like that. That scene is a clip. Nice. Perfect button. here's how I'm conflicted people have always used art as a form of cathartic healing if a stranger handed me this book I would just say not my taste and move on that said this is my sister's husband and I found certain elements so skin crawlingly uncomfortable that I almost didn't finish it that also said this is my sister's husband and I am afraid based on the past that if I tell her about this she will flip out on me and not him and or if she confronts him will he also just lie about the whole thing And on the off chance that it's more than just tasteless catharsis, I don't want my sister to get turned into a skin suit.

44:53There are no skin suits, but you get it. And if it is just a fictional fantasy thriller, I'll either look like a paranoid asshole or the lawmakers who tried to ban video games after Columbine. I don't say this ever, so it's not even in my vocabulary, but when she was like, here's when I'm conflicted, I almost went, honey. Like, it just, because, come on. Yeah, I, no, there's no, like, oh, well, I'm conflicted here. It's like, no, this is wild as hell. I mean, I don't blame OP for not really fully being grounded in a response, because this is so much. Because you're not expecting this. Same with the previous story.

45:35Yeah. These are situations that you don't expect to happen to you, right? And you don't expect your brain to have a logical and safe response to something this scary. You're also probably kind of hoping that someone in the comments is like, oh, no, this is actually totally normal. Don't worry about it. In a weird way. You're like hoping. Yeah. Because once again, similar to Reddit stories where someone writes out something. Because like getting your thoughts out, getting your fantasies out, getting all these things into a diary setting where you write it all out. And then you read it and you go, oh, right, this is irrational.

46:06Oh, right, this is stupid. Yeah. But he wrote a book about all of this and then was like, I want you to read this. Do you know how much work goes into a book? This is too calculated. Too much time has gone by. This is a dead serious situation. And what sucks about this is that her sister's collateral damage here, right? And she's worried about their relationship. And honestly, if her sister doesn't have her back here, she cannot. Then just go, but get out. You've got to give her sister the book and go, you can read this. If you don't think this is as serious as I do, then you don't have to talk to me.

46:47You can't make that decision for her. You've got to give her the tools to be like. I'm showing you this book not because I'm jealous or in love with your husband. I'm showing this book because it's the other way around. It's the pure option. And I'm getting away no matter what. And if you don't believe me, I can't stop you. Yeah. I don't know. Some comments here. I don't have a judgment here, but have you thought about asking him if your sister has read it and or asking her? OP says, he says she hasn't read it, but I could potentially ask her in an innocuous way in order to broach the subject.

47:20Someone said, not the asshole. I would handle it differently though. Find a way to meet them when they are together and then tell him you really liked the book. Then ask her if she has read any of it. She will obviously say no. Then tell the story in the most optimistic way possible. Try to get the fuck out before someone gets emotional. Good luck. This shit is weird as hell. I don't think that's, I don't know if I'm taking that advice. That's very Reddit. And then I stood up and everyone's like, Don't say you liked it to him. Like, don't say you liked it. That's not true. Someone said, I think it would fall under not the asshole, but your relationship with your sister is already strained.

47:58If you are serious about trying to salvage your relationship with her, I would keep this bomb away from her. Comedy option. Read it, read it. A silly one for mom. A silly option. Casually mentioned, oh, I saw brother-in-law's manuscript. Had he gotten any offers for it? Okay. OP said, I'm 50 % leaning towards your serious option and 50 % leaning in the direction of if she finds this on his laptop slash email and then finds out I knew about it, she will be rightfully infuriated. A bomb is right. I don't know, man. Like, it's his fault. Yeah. He's the bad guy. Yeah. And I'm sorry that your sister's on her side despite the clear, obvious warning signs that were there since high school.

48:40That's the other thing too with the high school. Like, she didn't get into specifics and it's none of our business. But the way she made it sound, she was like, it did not end on good terms. We are not friendly. And it's like, we don't know what happened and if she even has felt safe this whole time. Like, this is creepy no matter what, but she needs to be safe. Yes. It's like, if the sister doesn't believe it, like, I hope that's salvageable, but damn. I feel bad for the sister, too. I do, too. I know that's gotta be an awful situation, and it's awful in relationships to, like, hear someone else say, yeah, your partner's awful.

49:15And to be like, you don't want to believe that. Right. You don't want to believe that. And all you want to do is be angry that it's being brought to you. Yeah. Like, and just kind of killing the messenger because you hate the message so much. Right. And that sucks. Right. And you look back and you're like, oh, sorry. Especially something so egregious. As like, oh, they wrote a book about me sexually. It's like, no. I can't handle that. I can't handle that my partner did that. And I almost like humanize the sister getting angry. I know it's not right. But like, yeah, the other sister, the whole book is about her.

49:55but I'm starting to think like I would even believe that this that her sister's marriage is all not real you know what I mean or like all and that like what a bomb for both of them like that that her whole life is yeah I don't know you're right there's so many layers of it because like when it's something that big you don't necessarily know where to stop where it's like oh man what a betrayal and it's like what if it goes this much deeper yeah it's like you got a I'm not trying to like measure the pain but like the book versus like this is her husband yeah Yes. Like, this is going to turn her upside down.

50:28Oof. Oof is right. There's no more updates on that one. Because like our girl said a couple OPs before, no update because there isn't an update. Yeah. I'll update when I have an update. Yeah, seriously. I hope they're okay. Me too. Man, that sucks. Spooky. Scary. Skeletons. Am I overreacting for thinking my psychiatrist asking to move in with me is inappropriate. Buddy, no. No, you're not. So last week I had an appointment with my psychiatrist and I had disclosed to her that my husband and I were buying a house. She asked for details of the house and when we were closing, so I told her, she then replied with, that's perfect.

51:12I just need one bedroom and a kitchen. I like to cook. Of course, at first I thought she was joking. But then she went on. She goes, I told my landlord I am moving out of my current place because the commute is too far and I am looking for something closer to work. Would you be willing to rent a room out to me? She then showed me text threads with her current landlord who was praising her for being a good tenant. I kind of brushed it off and said, well, I don't know about a room, but the place we are renting now will be available once we move out. And she said that would be nice, but she was looking for something cheaper.

51:43As our session ended, she told me to call her if I needed her. And then she said, but I might need you first. Now my husband thought it was funny when I told him my best friend thinks this woman should not be a psychiatrist. I have had previous uncomfortable encounters with her where she told me my miscarriages happened because I wasn't happy enough. And this most recent session she told me it's because my baby knew that we didn't own a home yet. Am I overreacting thinking that this person is wildly inappropriate? I don't know if you're seeing a psychiatrist. You might be seeing a demon ghost.

52:19I missed the paranormal once. Like, please give me a ghost. Where the fuck are the gnomes? Also, it happened again. It really happened again, guys. Someone was talking about one spooky thing, and then they used something even spookier to describe the behavior, and then moved on. Because that is so fucking terrifying, that thing about the children. I sometimes, you know what I feel like, okay, you know what I feel like happens? I don't think this is discussed often. I feel like sometimes people bring to, like, a friend or to an accomplice, they bring, like, hey, this thing happened, and it's the mild thing.

52:51Because they're kind of scared. And then in telling the mild, because it's kind of like putting your toe in the water. It's like, yeah, so this person said this stupid thing. And yeah, I mean, obviously they said this other stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of feel like that happens a lot. And that almost feels like her writing it out, being like, yeah, it's kind of weird. And yeah, this other stuff happened too. And it's kind of putting, like, it's allowing her to process. No, for sure. Because like, oh my God. I think the brain is funky with how it takes care of itself. I like your little hat.

53:22Thanks. Little gnome. I think sometimes it presses down the stuff that's even worse. And that's just survival, I guess. When talking to my therapist about something once, I went on a little tangent in the middle of the story and continued on. And she actually went, oh my God. And I was like, oh, what? Oh, that was bad, huh? Yeah, I guess that was pretty bad. But anyway, back to the thing I meant. But to make your therapist stop and go like, oh. It's true. Like, dissociation is real. Yeah. Horrible people do manage to get degrees and licensed. Every day. It does happen. Plenty. Should we trust professionals?

54:04Yes. But also, it is a doctor. And getting second opinions and third opinions is very smart. And if you're seeing a psychiatrist and they're saying anything like that, which is also not based in any sort of science. The person in charge of your brain meds. Yeah, it's like you could be like, I'm going to go see a different psychiatrist. This is why we give him the iPad, folks. I feel like I say the most common sense things. No, but you have to say that. You say the most basic things just to establish a ground. Oh, I wasn't making fun of you at all. I thought you did that very well done. Whereas like we shouldn't like, yeah, people have degrees and stuff, but you need second opinions, especially when it gets like that.

54:46Can I make a wild comparison? Please. It reminds me of when I was doing really bad at math in fifth grade. I was behind in math, like horribly. And so my parents were like, we're going to take you and put you in Kumon, the like math learning program. And I go and like, by this time in fifth grade, we're doing like long division and stuff. But I go and I'm like, all right, like I'm going to start doing math because apparently I suck at it. But then like, all right, great. And I get my first packets and it's truly zero plus zero. And I remember being like, this is an insult. Come on, guys. No, we start you at literally the basic ground level.

55:22And they're like, the reason we do that is because if you missed something at the very base level, it's going to mess you up all the way to the top. And so it's like, if you somewhere along the line thought two plus three equals six, that's messing you up here. And I don't even know where I caught that I did mess up. But I went from being behind to being in the advanced program in like five months. Wow, that? And so, and like I was doing like crazy. I did stuff in sixth grade in Kumon that I never hit in college. Wow. Like I was doing crazy shit. Just because like they just, they're like, all right, now you're moving.

55:58Now you figured it all out. And I was like, I don't know what I missed, but I missed something that was so basic. But it's kind of why it is important to like establish these ground rules. Like because another example that we see in Reddit stories is like, is like toilet etiquette. Right? Where people are like, oh, yeah, like, we have a poop knife. And that's normal and everyone has it. And it's like, no, we don't. But, like, because we don't talk about these basic level things, you miss it. Wow. I mean, that's really wise, Shane. Now, I'm thinking about that for, like, even people with relationships.

56:28Where, like, go back and in a fundamental age, in, like, an early relationship, you were treated a certain way that made you believe something about your worth. It's that you, it was a learning curve that you never healed. It's why people will like, you'll hear something so atrocious said to someone. And they'll just be like, fine with it. And it's like, you know that was bad, right? Yeah. And they'll be like, no. It's like, did you, somewhere along in your life, you learned that that was actually okay. It's so common knowledge that that's bad, what they said. Yeah. But in our learning, we miss these very, very basic things.

57:03It's so important to like establish the baseline over and over. It's boring. Or we learned that, like that happened to you. and your body has to keep going and pushes down. Totally. Like - Protects you by doing - Totally. And we all have that. Yeah. All have the blind spots. But this person thought it was okay that the psychiatrist said that to them. Because they are an authority figure. And if you're not used to it, like if you hear something like that, even if you think it's a little bit off, like everything they've said so far to you has been something you've taken as the truth. Like, I do need that medication.

57:36That is a good way to treat things. Yada, yada, yada. the baby thing is weird, but okay, you know. It's also the tough balance of like, we have such a distrust of science and medicine nowadays, but you also, you need to find that healthy balance of trusting your own judgment while also trusting the judgment around you. But that's why it's like, it's always okay to go get second opinions. It's always okay to go to another professional. Yeah. Anyways, let's move into the verdict, which is not overreacting, obviously. Comments, is she even a licensed therapist? Yes, this is a massive violation of your personal and professional relationship.

58:11Does she work on her own or part of a group of therapists at the office? If she works for a group, I would call up and ask to speak to a manager. I would ask for a different therapist or a referral to a different office. Tell them the story about what happened. Someone else said, are you a recovering people pleaser? Perhaps she was testing your ability to set boundaries. Aside from that, it's definitely weird though. And if she's being 100 % serious, it's worth reporting to be honest. OP said, I am a people pleaser. but I haven't been seeing her very long, so I'm not sure she would be testing me, but I don't really know.

58:43A good therapist shouldn't be testing you. Yeah, no. No, that's not how it works. I'm just going to say that. That's not how it works at all. The only test is how much you can make your therapist laugh so you become their favorite client. And that's me every time. Yes. Not because I'm making them laugh, but I try to just... You got to be the favorite. I got to be the favorite. Someone said, Psychologist here. Wildly inappropriate and unprofessional. She needs to be reported to her board, licensing agency, bosses if she has them. to your insurance company, et cetera. And you need to find a new doc stat.

59:11So sorry this happened to you. She should not have done that. Update, I am reporting her and switching providers. Thanks for all the comments. Great. Thank God. And there's no horror movie because you did the right steps. Update, I went back to her office and she hadn't been there for 20 years. What? All that I saw was a little snake and a little hat and a little no. And my sink is soapy. Yeah, my sink is all soapy. And the sink kept calling me babe. I mean, I feel like I hear, like, nightmare therapist stories a lot these days. Because I think it's a thing. You just got to triple, double check.

59:46You got to, you're putting, that person's inherently in a place of power. Or, like, a manipulative possible, I don't know. Also, to be clear, for therapists and psychiatrists, I mean, I don't know about psychiatrists, but therapists. Therapists aren't actually supposed to be, like, telling you what to do. Yeah. They are supposed to guide you and ask the right questions and help you figure it out. If you have a therapist that's going, you need to break up with your boyfriend, or obviously moving in with them is wildly a breach. But it's okay to be skeptical. I think therapy is so important. It's so huge.

1:00:22It's wildly expensive. So I understand why a lot of people can't do it. But if you're able to, it's also okay to be like, you know what? This therapist, I'm not feeling it. You are allowed to keep going to new therapists. Like, keep trying it out. But, like, have that healthy balance of am I right? What am I feeling? I think the best way to do that is to, like, talk to other people. Like, this person did one to Reddit. So it's important to just, like, talk to others. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Communication is key. Diversify. Similar to stocks and bonds. You also diversify your network and get everyone's opinions and feelings on things.

1:00:55And feelings on things. Bitcoin of emotion. Whoa. Spooky. This is getting really scary. Whoa. NFTs are back. Shane, if he sold Bitcoin. Put everything in a high-yield money market of, you know, treasury bonds. Do you guys feel like today's been seven years? Yeah, dude. That's the gnome effect. You want to know something scary? We shot the Try Not to Laugh Smosh Mouth episode. I don't know when that aired. I want to say four hours. But no, we filmed it hours ago, but it aired like a month and a half ago. And that's scary. But we filmed that today. So we filmed that hours ago. So imagine the headspace we are in.

1:01:39Because if you haven't watched that, go back and watch that now. You're going to be like, what? It is insane. And Angela and I specifically, we were both nap takers. You guys took a nap. I walked out and you guys were asleep. And I go, ready for Reddit stories? You went with, yeah. And in between them, play a little game. That's how we do it here. That's true. Our next story comes from Relationship Advice. This is a 22-year-old boyfriend, 19-year-old girlfriend. My boyfriend won't stop curling my hair in my sleep. Oh, okay. Just a little serial killer behavior. You smell different when you sleep.

1:02:15My boyfriend is curling my hair in my sleep. How do I confront him? Get off! My boyfriend has always been interested in my hair, and he likes to watch me curl it, etc. Then he started asking me to curl it, just subtle hints at the beginning, which then evolved. After this going on for a few weeks, it progressed and he became more pushy about it, resulting in lots of arguments. These got progressively worse for a few months. Then recently, probably about two weeks ago, I noticed strands of my hair were curled when I woke up in the morning. I've also noticed my curlers have been moved around and are slightly warm when I go to use them.

1:02:47At first, I didn't think much and just put it down to my erratic sleeping habits, but my hair gets progressively more curly every time it happens. I don't know how to confront him about this, as when I tried, he denied and became extremely agitated. If anyone has had similar experiences and or some advice, please share. Not similar, but I've got advice. Yeah. Get out of there. Yeah, done. Yeah. Done deal, man. It's kind of like what you're saying about like not knowing the baseline, like 19 to 22. I'm assuming that this is probably the first, maybe in the first couple of like, oh, it's a boyfriend that I can actually like stay over the night with, whatever.

1:03:24Like, is it normal that he gets kind of mad It's like, no, bodily autonomy, you didn't consent to any of that. Time to go. This is bad. I thought we heard the worst today. This is the worst. I hate this. I think this man needs to go away and take a long shower and really, oh, I hate him. Yeah. No, she said no. It's not your body. Go away. Sorry. No, don't be sorry. I got too real. This is, I feel like this case, cut, dried, and curled. no no no just cut and dry no um yeah awful uh comments I don't know what else to say comment what next stop comment what cause at the top of this I was like oh I don't want to like kink shame if he's like into girls but she said no yeah and then you're I don't even care if it's cold Emily little cold curl she doesn't want to do that I don't like a little cold curl.

1:04:24You know, if it's a little cold curl, it doesn't even make it matter. I don't like cold curl. No, this guy's got to go. Read a book. Yeah, can I get a hamburger, a shake, and can I get a side of some cold curls? We have some curly fries from yesterday. Why do you call them that? You know what I want.

1:04:48All right, comments. Every day I think I cannot be surprised by this app, and every day I am proven wrong. Me too. Me? Me too. It is shocking. Upvote. Someone said, I'm thinking of her dead asleep when he sneakily curls her hair with a comb or hot iron and it seems hilarious to me. Not to her though. This is definitely wild. Lastly, someone said, if he became agitated when you tried to confront him, I'd say this should be the end of the relationship. Yes. He is clearly aware that you don't want him to do this but now does it when you're asleep. Absolutely without your consent. He could be doing other things without your consent.

1:05:20Even if he isn't right now, he could get bolder as he knows you can sleep through the hair curling. Yeah, like this is so quirky of a weird thing. But at the end of the day, it's just not respect. And it's like we talked about this before with the stories where someone is like, someone does something to them when they're asleep. Or like, you know, like the person sleeping under the... Like it's just your safe space. And it's like, I just, like, this guy's got to go just like curl his own fucking hair. Yeah. Shove the curling iron up his throat. I like how you switch that mid-sentence. Yeah, switch his curling iron.

1:05:53You should just shove that curling iron right up into the drawer and put it away. Sorry, we're cutting all that anyway. Okay. All right, there's nothing else to say on that one. Yeah, that's so scary. That is awful. All right, our last story. Please be a ghost. Come on, man. I just wanted to be a gnome and not a stupid idiot. No, more just creepy dudes. This last one is a Today I Fucked Up. And now I'm dead and haunting things? Today I fucked up by being a horny 21-year-old and not realizing how scary a girl actually was. Girls are scary. So I've heard. Can you just read that again? Today I fucked up by being a horny 21-year-old and not realizing how scary a girl actually was.

1:06:42So he clearly got himself into a situation because he's like, oh, I can get laid, but not realizing she was probably like a vampire or something. Okay. I hope so. I hope so. Okay. So this story happened as this story was posted four years ago, but it happened five years prior. He's talking about a story from five years before. On this very day. Yes. I had been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks, pretty casual, but she was really fun and funny, if not a bit intense. After a few weeks, she starts referring to me as her boyfriend. and talking about meeting her parents. I'm not feeling it, but being a douchey 21-year-old, I go with it because she's having sex with me.

1:07:24So it all comes to a head one night when she pulls me into a room off of her bedroom. Laid out on the floor are dozens, if not hundreds, of pictures of her. And I'm not talking about sexy pictures, which would still be weird, but regular pictures of her, pictures with her family, her friends from high school, definitely at least one Christmas card with her whole ass family on it. She then proceeds to ask me to have sex with her right there. Shit was creepy, so I left real fast after I finished. Oh, okay. Moving on. After regaling some friends with that bizarre tale, they were pretty sure she was cursing me or stealing my soul, I cut it off with her and she proceeded to come by my work daily for hours and stare at me.

1:08:10Well, you don't say. That went on for a couple of months before we banned her. After that, she would send me messages on Facebook about how we were meant to be together and how much she loved me. I'd get a message every couple of months before I eventually blocked her. Haven't seen or heard from her in years. Thank God. She's just gotten better at hiding, dude. Yeah. So the pictures were on the ground and they had sex on top of the pictures of her? Yes. She just didn't have any rose petals. She's like, I have all these Polaroids, I guess, of me and my family. Oh, God. And they're just like normal pictures.

1:08:45Yeah. That's what's weird. Oh, that's... That made... Yeah. Also, like, family Christmas cards are off. Like, come meet my parents. Like, hi, Rick. That's really weird. Oh, God. Oh, my God. I wonder if that was like a spell. If you have sex with someone on top of pictures of them and their life. he needs a counter curse of some kind yeah he needs to jack off completely by himself

1:09:19he's like that's it oh thank god I think I've already broken that curse like 12 times that's all I had to do that was easy but fool you'll never learn the counter curse oh what are you doing oh god yo that whoa Oh, that's a cold curl right there. Stop that! That's a gnome right there. Oh, I feel bad for him. That's scary. That is really scary. Okay, but it's been five years, and he hasn't seen her. What if his work is at a mortuary? I love that the top comment in quotation is, left so damn fast, I almost didn't have sex. That's a good Reddit comment. That's a good Reddit comment right there. Good comment, good comment.

1:10:03Thank you for the gold kind, stranger. Someone said, after a few months, you had this as a daily occurrence for hours on end for months before you banned her? Coming to his work and staring at her, and it took months to ban her. I understand some workplaces, that's just how it goes. She might buy something, I don't know. Someone said, my theory is the OP did get their soul stolen. OP is actually the girl who completed the ritual to steal his life, and the girl stalking him after is original OP trying to get his body back. Yep, yep, dude, I was thinking that. I was literally thinking, like, what if it keeps, like, what if someone sees him later and someone's like, no, someone had sex with you and you had photos.

1:10:42Like, what do you mean? Oh, it's like this is a follow situation. Dude, this is way better than what they wrote.

1:10:53Whoa. This was a lot today. That was a lot. I think ghouls got to up their game. Ghouls need to start doing it. These were all scary for sure, and I'm glad we had a gnome in there. That's awesome. But, like, a lot of creepy people. A lot of creepy people. Nothing scarier than trauma. Turns out that people are still the scariest thing in the universe. And so is Reddit. Black hole's second place. There are planets where it rains molten glass forever. That's kind of gorgeous because it's just happening over there. Is that a ghost? It's over there. Don't worry about it. It's over there. It's over there.

1:11:32He's not here. It's over there. It's over there. It's in Disney World, dude. They can't even come here in your mirror or anything. They're under contract. They can't leave. Walt had his ducks in a row with the occult. Well, are you guys scared? Yes. Yes. Yeah. Me too. Today was, yeah, this was a very scary Reddit story. It was, yeah. Thanks for hanging out. Thanks for having us. Thanks for powering through it. And thank you for watching. Let us know if there's any gnomes under your bed. Yeah. Are you in Spain? Is it a normal occurrence? Yeah, what's the deal with gnomes? I love that, by the way.

1:12:09Give it up for the art department. Yeah. Did they make that? They made that? They made this. Damn. Whoa. That's so cool. Awesome. I literally love it. Oh, guys, what if we name it? What? Or we can just send the video. That's fine. I'm thanks for coming. Bye. Bye. See you next Saturday.