Reddit Is The Best Medicine | Reading Reddit Stories

13:56Shayne Topp:Dude, aneurysm is like the scariest thing.

13:59Ian Hecox:It is the absolute scariest thing. The idea that you can just be sitting somewhere in your brain just like bursts, like that's horrifying. Yeah. But I have heard that advice that a sudden extreme headache is like, go to the emergency room. Yeah. Update. Oh, yes. Woke up totally fine. I'm going to tell my GP what happened and probably end up with an MRI. My mother died of an aneurysm about 10 years ago, so I have had a few MRIs because it can be hereditary. I haven't had an MRI in the last five years, though. I have also had a ton of CT scans from my days with cancer. Either way, based on what I'm seeing here, I will 100 % tell my doctor.

14:39Ian Hecox:I have a feeling nothing will turn up on the scan, but it's better to be safe than sorry. My GP is right next to the hospital so I can go straight to the ER. The reason I didn't go to the ER right away was because I am tested constantly because of my cancer, from heart function yearly to an MRI slash CT every five years to blood tests every six months. I have been cancer-free for 20 years now, though. The less happy reason I didn't go is that I found my mother dead in bed when she had her aneurysm, and I was told even if it had burst while she was next to a paramedic, there would have only been a 50 % chance she would survive.

15:13Ian Hecox:And if she did, there would only be a 50 % chance she should have regular brain function. I figured if I was having an aneurysm, there wouldn't be much I could do. And I just wanted to lay in bed with my girlfriend as my last moments. But then the pain went away. And he smelled. And I was smelling. Yeah. And I could finally smell that my girlfriend smelled really bad.

15:37Shayne Topp:My stinky girlfriend.

15:39Ian Hecox:Oh, you're stinky.

15:42Shayne Topp:I like the idea that he's like, well, it could be an aneurysm, but I'm alive, so I'm good.

15:49Ian Hecox:Yeah, he was like, oh, I'm going to wait here. But I'm like, you said for six hours the pain was going.

15:54Shayne Topp:I would go to the ER right away. Yeah.

15:59Ian Hecox:Okay, update number two.

16:01Shayne Topp:Okay.

16:02Ian Hecox:I talked to a nurse and am waiting for a doctor. They believe I had some sort of cyst blocking my smell receptors. And what was cleared out was all infection. They said to go to the ER if my headache comes back. Or I start having clear fluid drip out my nose. And to lean forward to check if anything is coming out. I'll see what the doctor says within the hour. Ew. What is Emily? Yeah. Emily wrote in, you ever poop so hard you pop a cyst? Ew. Ew.

16:37Shayne Topp:Oh, my God.

16:43Ian Hecox:Okay. Final update. Let's see what they said. So there were 10 plus updates from OP. Wow. Okay. They did a great job of keeping people posted, communicating their medical journey. We've summed up some of them here, plus have included the final update. All right. To summarize, OP's doctor encourages them to go to the ER for testing because she said my story is very interesting, but she doesn't like it at all. This needs punch-ups. That's such a funny thing to hear from a doctor. Like, okay, this is pretty crazy and interesting, but I don't like it. I don't like it, and I don't like you. Once OP is finally seen, OP has a bit of high blood pressure, and at first the nurse says they're going to do a CT and possibly a lumbar puncture.

17:31Ian Hecox:So a lumbar puncture was just explained to me, and that is where they basically need to get spinal fluid. They need to test that, and so... The needle is huge. It's like the substance. Yeah. Exactly. Basically the substance. All right, final update, I hope. After all of this waiting, I have finally been discharged. I have no aneurysms, and he said that he doesn't think I need a spinal tap because the chances of me having bleeding is very, very low. However, if I get a bad headache, have trouble walking or anything like that, I must go back and I'll be tapped at that point. He said he has no idea what happened to me yesterday.

18:06Ian Hecox:He said I should scream this story from the rooftops because it's a great story. And to be honest, I agree. My blood pressure wasn't too bad, he said. I think it was 180 over 90 on the last one, but I'm not sure. I have to monitor myself closely and go back at the first sign of trouble. I haven't eaten anything today. I can't wait to get home and have some leftover meatloaf and smoke a bowl. The one silver lining is I guess I... Hell yeah, dude. Meatloaf and a bowl. This is my God. Turns out our MRI shows that you're fucking chill as hell, dude. The one silver lining is I guess I get to wait nine years before I get tested again.

18:43Ian Hecox:Ha ha ha ha. Parenthesis. Kidding. to all of you who have supported me today thank you from the bottom of my heart thank you all I was so certain I was fine until I read these messages but honestly I am glad I went it's better to be safe than sorry never underestimate the power of human compassion there are so many bad things in this world so many things that make it seem not worth it but no matter how dark it gets no matter how much you think the world is against you just know that there will always be a few thousand people to listen to your shit stories all the best that guy who shits so hard he could smell again Yay.

19:16Ian Hecox:And everybody clapped. And everybody clapped. He really turned that around and made it heartfelt. Yeah, that's lovely. Yeah. That's an insane story.

19:24Shayne Topp:I think it's just like another one of those cases, though, like where, and obviously I know it's a little trickier in the U.S. with our healthcare system, but, like, if something feels off about your body and you're just like, something doesn't feel normal, Right. just go. I know. Just go, because if you're just waiting for it to get worse, that could make your recovery worse, or something could snowball. If something feels weird, just go.

19:57Ian Hecox:Yeah, that was my experience when I started to feel tooth pain. And I was like, oh, it's probably just TMJ or something. I don't need to worry about it. And then my tooth felt like it was going to explode suddenly, and it was the weekend. So I was like, oh, my dentist won't see me until Monday. I can hold off. And it was the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life.

20:15Shayne Topp:Yeah.

20:15Ian Hecox:I've said it before. I would break both my ankles again before I had to experience that. That shit was awful.

20:22Shayne Topp:Yeah. It was like an abscess?

20:23Ian Hecox:Yeah. It was an infection and everything. So they had to do a root canal. But once they did the root canal, I was grateful. I was excited to get a root canal. I was like, fucking pull this out. Yeah. I'm a serial. I'm in pain. and I'll just wait and see if it goes away. Because honestly, I had something happen to my tooth too where it felt like a little cut maybe on my gum, but it was so painful and my whole tooth was sore. Oh. And it went away. Okay. I never went and got it looked at. And that's bad advice.

20:56Shayne Topp:The tooth fell out. The tooth got really black and fell out. It smelled really bad, but it was fine. It hurt so bad. It hurt to eat or drink anything for like three or four days. My God, man. Oh, Jesus. That's youth.

21:12Ian Hecox:Don't do it. Don't do it. I mean, I think I was literally your age when that tooth infection happened. So, I don't know, man. Well, guess who didn't get a root canal? Okay. Okay. All right. Our next story comes from Relationship Advice. This was posted in 2024. It's a 37-year-old woman. My husband, who's 36, put martial arts training ahead of helping me get emergency medical treatment, and I'm not sure how to react.

21:44Ian Hecox:Sorry, honey. My martial arts training. My training comes first. Training comes first. As the title says, and I'm not sure how to feel about it or react to it, I had a sudden unexplained hematoma appear in my hand and wrist. Hematoma is when blood pools under the skin and can't drain out and can damage large blood vessels. It's bulging and sore, causing my whole arm to ache, probably about five inches by five inches and sticking out an inch. I'm also 22 weeks pregnant and on aspirin. He came home from work within 20 minutes of this happening. I showed him and he agreed that it was alarming and I needed to see a doctor urgently.

22:24Shayne Topp:He's just like, let me just give it a nice chop.

22:27Ian Hecox:Yeah. Let me try something. We have a one-year-old together and I have children from a previous relationship as does he. He's a stepdad. I'm a stepmom. I said, could he watch the kids? He asked if my mother could as he had training. My mother had work. I just left it and began cooking dinner, totally shocked. He got changed into his training gear and came back to the kitchen. I said to him, I'm going to struggle to make dinner with my one hand. He said, I'll pick up takeaway after training. I said, since he was going to training, I have to cook for the kids as it's their bedtime soon. He ignored me and proceeded to tell me that he is tense from work and might need to get in with a massage therapist.

23:11Ian Hecox:After he left, I rang him to call him out on this. He said he would come home if it was that bad. He said he'd get takeaway, but he needs to go to training for his mental health. So he went. I cooked and took care of the baby and children. He came home, ate, showered, and is in bed. Eventually, he asked how my hand is, showed him it's three times bigger than when he left. He said to go to the emergency room. I don't want to now. I'm so tired I feel like I'm not worth it anyway. And while I'm there, I'll just be worried about the baby and he won't help to alleviate it. I felt it was really cold that he went to training instead of watching the kids while I sought treatment.

23:48Ian Hecox:But I'm not sure if I'm overreacting. Oh, my God. Wow. That makes me so sad. The amount of stories we read similar to this. Oh, my God. Where it's like, yeah, I was dying and he was like, no, but I've got basketball practice. Like, what?

24:03Shayne Topp:Babe, babe for my mental health? I can't help you. I got it. Sorry. I got to get my gi on. I get this freaky unknown thing happening with your arm and hand, but like, got to think about my mentals. Yeah. And also, I might have to get a massage after. Yeah, yeah. I might have to get a massage. I'm so, so stressed. I understand you're going through a lot,

24:25Ian Hecox:but I'm going through a lot too.

24:27Shayne Topp:I kind of need a massage. That's crazy that she's like, I got to make my kids dinner. because like in my head I'm like you gotta go to the hospital like figure out the food thing like with the kids no this is that sucks

24:44Ian Hecox:yeah

24:48comments

24:48Ian Hecox:you still haven't gone to the emergency room go to the emergency room deal with this fuckery later you need a medical professional my friend had three DVT deep vein thrombosis and two SVTs, supraventricular tachycardia, during pregnancy. They looked like what you describe. Again, go to the emergency room. OP responded, I'm here now. It got so painful, I thought my hand was going to explode. Someone else said, you are not overreacting. You are underreacting. To your children and stepchildren, you are more important than the whole world. They rely on you. Go to the emergency room ASAP. Then kick this loser out permanently.

25:28Ian Hecox:He is making your life harder and dangerous. Someone else said, most martial arts at their core are about becoming a better, more rounded up person, not dancing around on a mat. That includes protecting those in need, putting them above yourself. Your husband is a failure. I would have lost respect. Another martial arts guy coming in and being like, that is not the way. I can tell by this post that your husband is terrible at karate. Someone said, I'm also wondering if he may be having an affair and the training and massage was actually him meeting his affair partner. Oh, he's getting a massage.

26:03Shayne Topp:The problem is when someone is... Sorry, I won't. If you're just listening to this on the podcast, you're welcome. Yeah. If you saw this on video, I'm sorry.

26:16Shayne Topp:If someone listening to this knows exactly what you did. Yeah. Yeah. They heard the jerk motion. They heard the wind through the air.

26:25Ian Hecox:Where was he planning to get a massage at That night after his training, do you know why his previous marriage failed? Did he cheat on his first wife? Opie responds, yes, he cheated. He did it loudly and proudly too and made her think she was crazy. She has sworn off men now. I didn't know this when we got together. He also made out to me that she was perfect and the relationship perfect and that I ought to hold a torch. I obviously didn't know he was a total asshole then. He swooped in post-violent asshole. I probably needed a therapist, not a cuddle. I'm just having a revelation.

27:01Shayne Topp:Whoa.

27:04Ian Hecox:Holy crap. Oh, my God. Yeah. I hope this is the wake-up call because that just makes me so sad. It's sadly one where you read it and it's like, man, it doesn't really matter if he's having an affair or not. He's so awful.

27:17Shayne Topp:Yeah. Okay, look. So he says he's doing karate, right? So now what she needs to do is set up a scenario where somebody goes to rob both of them.

27:27Ian Hecox:And see if he actually knows karate. Yeah.

27:30Shayne Topp:And then check his form. You know? How are his punches? How are his spin kicks? Yeah. The person that she should hire should be someone who's good at martial arts. Yes. A black belt. A black belt. At the very least. And just, yeah. And if he can't defend himself, he gets his ass kicked. Go comment that. It's a win-win. Go comment that. Yeah. I think we figured this out. But first, obviously, yeah, the hospital is, take care of that first.

27:57Ian Hecox:She's at the hospital now. And then get your husband's ass kicked. Yeah, get his ass kicked. It's like kind of one of those where every Reddit post has a comment that's like, they're cheating. And it's kind of like, okay. But the second she's like, yeah, he did cheat in his previous relationship. And was proud of it. And was like loud and proud and gaslighted his ex. I'm just like, oh, well, now, now, yeah, I believe it. Because he also is just... Smosh Reads Reddit Stories is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices.

28:35Ian Hecox:That's why they offer a tool called AutoQuote Explorer that allows you to compare your Progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies. So you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this episode at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy. Back to the show. Not acting like he gives a shit about you. Yeah. So all signs are pointing to that now. Every medical thing related to this, it gets amplified by the fact that she's pregnant.

29:12Ian Hecox:Like, I keep forgetting that aspect. It's like any small medical thing is so much more serious when you're pregnant. Sure. Yeah. So that's just a whole other aspect to it. I feel like if someone, you know, if my partner, for any reason, even if it's not like a visible, like, giant thing on your arm, if they're like, hey, I don't feel right. I think, like, I need to go to the hospital. There is never a situation where I'm like, ah, sorry. I don't think that's going to, like, let's get you there. Like, I'm going to find a way to get you to a hospital if you feel like you need to go. Yeah. I could never imagine in a million years being like, I'm going to leave.

29:50Ian Hecox:Yeah. I'm going to leave you alone. Especially when there's kids. I'm like, dude. Yeah. Like, you don't care about anybody in this situation. No. Well, there's no more updates. But I'm glad she went to the hospital. It sounds like she's having a revelation. Hopefully. Let's hope for the best. She's in a better place now. All right. Our next story comes from True Off My Chest. This was posted 2025. OP writes, I was ugly sobbing at the doctors. Then the most embarrassing yet hilarious thing happened to me. So today I went to complete a form at the doctor's office for my nursing program at university.

30:28Ian Hecox:And they said it cost$160. I sat down and I just straight up started crying to myself because I'm so comically broke. It's insane. I was called in not too long after. and the doctor asked what was wrong. I just sobbed uncontrollably that I was only 17 and didn't know how I was supposed to pay for everything. Like so ugly, I'm talking snot and tears running down my face like nobody's business. He sat in silence for a bit, then said he'd waive the fee for me. And then of course my bum ass cried more because it meant so much to me. I thanked him for his kindness. Then my snot started dripping like a melting icicle.

31:04Ian Hecox:As I'm blowing my nose, he asked me to come and check something and lo and behold, I get up and drop my tissue. I immediately bend down to get it, but the room is so small and I'm proximity blind, so my ass hits the chair and Rocket launches me face first into the wall right next to him. And to make it worse, as I pull away, I leave an imprint of my tear-soaked, snotty face on the wall. I got up with my face red, snotty, and wet and straight up laughed, the stupidest, most low IQ laugh known to mankind because like, what is even going on right now? I then stood there with the composure of a dumbfounded brick as the remnants of my face plant of doom haunted me a few inches away.

31:42Ian Hecox:The doctor turned away and stifled a laugh, then asked if I was fine, and all I could do was wish I pretended I passed out with my face glued to the wall by my snot so I wouldn't have had to face him again. Whoa. Dude. All right. That's pretty funny. And then they died. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Just dead? Yeah. Pretty good. Wow. Yeah, so that happened to this person. How, yeah, you have to have a lot of moisture on your face for it to leave an imprint.

32:16Shayne Topp:I just imagine it was like they hit the wall. It was like... Just skidding in sauce. Just slowly sliding down just face first. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, so there's that. I was going to make a... I don't know. Okay. Well, because he said it was medical, and he said this is the subreddit, true off my chest. I was like, oh, it's going to be a mastectomy story. That's funny. Hey. Hey. It's funny. Truly. True. True. I don't know. That's just a joke. This is a joke I had bouncing around my head. It was jokes. I feel like I need to get that off my chest. I get it. Hey, true, off my chest. Yeah.

32:58Ian Hecox:This reminds me of how, like, I do feel, and I think this is common, of people to feel kind of embarrassed at the doctor or being like nervous about anything, you know? Like we're just like, no, doctors see so much stuff every day. Oh, yeah. It's not going to be embarrassing. Yeah. I went to a dermatologist for the first time in my adult life recently because I was just like, oh, I've never gotten a checkup. Like I should just make sure it's good. And then of course, like I go in and they're like, yeah, so I need you to like basically strip down to just your underwear and we'll come in and check.

33:26Ian Hecox:And then I was just kind of like, I was just kind of like, right, of course. They need to look at my skin. But I'm just sitting there just kind of like, this, I hope this is weird. I'm just like, this is really weird. But I'm like, they've looked at so many people today. Yeah. And like, so the doctor then comes in, he's just kind of like, all right, yeah, I'm just like looking around. And I'm just kind of like, oh, whatever. Because like as someone who's not doing that all day, every day, you recognize how weird the situation is. But for a doctor, completely normal. but for her smashing face first into a wall that's super embarrassing and she should feel embarrassed he's never seen that before in his life yeah nobody's ever seen that before in their life I gotta believe that doctors like probably love stuff like that because I'm sure that they deal with like a lot of like difficult things like sad difficult whatever it is and then for them to just have like someone do something that funny it's probably like it's probably like a nice little bright spot on his day I think so I think so you gave him a nice Looney Tunes moment yeah Yeah.

34:30Ian Hecox:Comments. Nothing in life is free. You had to pay up somehow. Someone said, I've been a supervisor before specializing in the onboarding department. I would go through many candidates a week. I would hire you. Why? Because you're genuine. That's all. You did great. Give yourself some slack. Let your human self be human for a moment. Yeah. Yeah. Prime nurse material. You know? That's what they're saying.

34:53Shayne Topp:I don't know if I'd want my nurse to be falling face first in the thing.

34:58Ian Hecox:When your nurse comes in to save your life, but there's a banana peel on the floor.

35:03Shayne Topp:I'll save you. And there's a rake on the ground. She steps on. Slides through the wall and leaves a perfect silhouette.

35:12Ian Hecox:I am imagining, I know this didn't happen. I'm imagining like she like went into the wall. Like it smashed into the wall. Ah, fun. Fun to visualize. Love it. All right. Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole? This was posted in April of 2024. Am I the asshole for not paying hospital bills after my friend tripped over my dog? Oh, okay. We got ourselves a little dilemma here. Got ourselves a dilemma. Okay. Yesterday, my friends and I were hanging out in the park. Me plus my dog, my friend Kathy plus her dog, and another friend, Jenny. Jenny was walking Kathy's dog, and they were walking ahead of us.

35:56Ian Hecox:Kathy was walking a bit behind me and my dog. Kathy decided that she wanted to catch up with Jenny, so she started running from behind me. As Kathy ran past me and my dog, she fell and tripped. We thought it was a minor injury, but it turns out she dislocated her shoulder and needs surgery. Kathy says that while she was running past us, my dog suddenly ran toward her and she tripped over my dog. Honestly, I didn't see clearly how exactly she tripped. I couldn't tell if my dog actually ran into her or if she tripped over my dog on her own. My dog didn't make a sound and didn't seem bothered. Jenny also said she couldn't tell.

36:34Ian Hecox:Kathy wants me to pay her hospital bills because she says it's my dog's fault that she tripped. But I feel like it's unfair for her to ask this. If my dog had bit her or attacked her, obviously that'd be a different story and I would 100 % pay all the medical bills. But in this instance, Jenny and I are both unsure if whether my dog ran into Kathy, whether Kathy tripped over my dog or whether Kathy tripped by herself near my dog. Kathy started running from behind me, so I didn't have a clear view of what happened. The money isn't a big deal, but out of principle, I don't want to pay the bills because I feel like this isn't my fault.

37:07Ian Hecox:Am I the asshole? Edit, by the way, my dog is a corgi. So pretty small.

37:13Shayne Topp:Low to the ground.

37:14Ian Hecox:Not big enough to knock anyone over, but you could definitely trip if he ran into you while you were running. Edit number two, Kathy is my coworker. We've been hanging out more, so I started to think of her as my friend. But we are co-workers. We work together in the same smallish office, which also makes things a little more awkward.

37:33Shayne Topp:I mean, like, the thing is, like, Kathy's the one that's making this awkward. Like, I think, like, I think if the dog's on a leash, I don't think it's the owner's responsibility. Because, like, I could see, like, if you're at a dog park or something and a big dog barreling towards you, hits your leg, breaks your leg or whatever, then I'd say, yeah, that's on the owner. But this person was doing the running, not the dog. Yeah. I don't know. I don't think she owes Kathy Jack squat. I don't either. I don't think there's a way you can cut this situation. Like, even if the dog did run into her, she's the one that decided to run and you never know how a dog's going to react if you start moving fast out of nowhere.

38:22Like, my dog can just be laying on the floor, and if I get up from the couch too fast, he's like, you want to fight? Like, you're just like, you're running around a dog, and if the dog gets underneath you, like, it's a dog. It's a small dog. It's an animal. Like, that's on you as a human to be responsible.

38:39Shayne Topp:Also, if the dog didn't get hurt or didn't yelp or anything, that's almost making me think, like,

38:43Ian Hecox:she didn't even trip on the dog. The contact is questionable. Sounds like just a skill issue.

38:48Shayne Topp:Yeah. Yeah, and, like, I'm no lawyer, but I think like if you agree to pay for her medical bills, then you're admitting responsibility. And then what happens if she's like, oh, actually I need physical therapy for my shoulder too. And you're like, no, I don't want to do that. Then she sues you and she's like, well, you paid for this. You admitted fault. I don't know. I'm just thinking America brain right now.

39:12Ian Hecox:No, for sure. It certainly gets into like murky territory of like, if you're just running and you run into someone, can you blame them for your age? Right. And he was just like, no, man, like, you chose to run. Like, there's obstacles. You're on a hiking trail. You're not like, I don't know. This just reminded, this just unlocked a memory. I was a kid one time. There's this park down the street from my house. And I got, I had to have been like, like, eight years old, probably. Like, I was in elementary school. And someone, like, had their dog, like, off of a leash. And they were just, like, playing fetch.

39:43And I didn't see. And then there was just a ball on the ground, like a tennis ball. And I, like, went and picked up the ball. and this dog just barreling and just completely sweeps my legs out from under me. And I literally like did a flip and just like landed. And I was like, what the? And then I just went, I just walked home. Yeah. I didn't even talk to the person. I didn't talk, the person didn't talk to me. Like the dog just like took me out, grabbed the ball and I was like, all right, guess I'm going home. I wasn't meant to be outside today.

40:15Ian Hecox:Videos of dogs just absolutely leveling. Yeah. People or kids? Hilarious. Kind of funny. No, it was like, I wish I had a video and could see from like an outsider's perspective because I remember, I remember like genuine, my legs flying up in the air. No, like when a dog's just going and they just barrel into someone, it's very funny. I also love videos, not quite the same, but where people are walking and a cat will be waiting somewhere and just like fucking smack them in the face. That shit's hilarious. See, when you see videos of cats doing that stuff, it's so intentional. Yeah. Dogs do it by accident.

40:49Ian Hecox:Cats are actually like, no, I meant to hit you. Yeah. That's great. Verdict, not the asshole.

40:55Shayne Topp:Okay.

40:56Ian Hecox:Comments. Accidents are why one has health insurance, not the asshole. Also, keep in mind that if you consent to pay, you may open up a Pandora's box of issues, lingering pain in the future, physical rehabilitation, pain and suffering, et cetera. 6 ,000 upvotes. Someone said, not the asshole. This was all Kathy's fault. She came from behind, so you could not see her, and she was the one running into your dog. Don't pay. She was negligent and injured herself. Someone responded that, yep, if anything, she rear-ended that dog and therefore is 100 % liable. Someone said, not the asshole, but also tell me you're American without telling me you're American.

41:32Ian Hecox:Someone responded that saying, the asshole is the American healthcare system. True.

41:36Shayne Topp:Yeah, sure.

41:37Ian Hecox:Lastly, someone said, Kathy can get fucked here. Frankly, fuck Kathy. She decided to run and ran into a damn corgi. Tell her ass to eat her vegetables and a glass of milk because she's fragile as shit.

41:51Shayne Topp:Oh, my God.

41:52Ian Hecox:Oh, man.

41:53Shayne Topp:Is there a picture of the corgi? No. Aw. What's the fucking point? What's the point? It's the poster's fault. That's what they're the asshole for. Okay, they're the asshole. Not including a picture of their dog.

42:03Ian Hecox:OP is not the asshole. Yeah. That's how it goes. Next story. Also comes from Am I the Asshole. This was posted in 2023. Am I the asshole for refusing to remove my medical equipment during my sister's wedding? Oh. My sister is getting married next weekend, and I'm a bridesmaid. I'm a type 1 diabetic, and I wear two medical devices, a Dexcom blood sugar monitor on one arm and a Omnipod insulin pump on the other. They're both really small, under two inches each, and work together to automatically monitor and regulate my blood sugar levels. This basically means I don't have to prick my fingers to test blood sugar or give myself insulin injections.

42:42Ian Hecox:The system does that automatically and makes my life way easier. Today when we were trying on our dresses, my sister told me she wants me to not wear them during the wedding because the gowns are sleeveless and the devices will look ugly in the photos. I told her I wasn't okay removing them. They're essential medical equipment and I'm not going to put myself in a position to affect my health just for some photos. My sister complained to our mother and some of our friends, and they are all taking her side. They say it's no big deal if I just don't wear them during the wedding, but I don't see why I should.

43:16Ian Hecox:Mom suggested I could move them to my stomach, but I've tried that before and find it incredibly uncomfortable. When I put a new sensor on, I'm stuck with it for 10 days until it expires, and I can switch to a new one. And I don't want to be stuck with one on my stomach where it will bother me the entire time. They're all complaining that I'm not willing to compromise at all, but I don't think my health should be in an area where anyone can ask what I compromise at all. Am I the asshole?

43:43Shayne Topp:That's insane. That's unbelievable. Like, actually, your health isn't important. What's important is these photos looking real nice. And you had that ugly little thing on your arm. Yeah. Like, that's insane.

43:58Ian Hecox:How hurtful and insensitive is that remark, too? Because this is something she wears daily. Yeah. And her sister's going, yeah, that ugly shit you have on. It's like, damn. Dumb, stupid fucking thing. So this is how you think I look all the time because of this.

44:13Shayne Topp:That thing that keeps you alive and healthy. Oh, my God. For my brother's wedding, I had, like, sprained my ankle really bad, and I was in a boot. And I was in a boot. So for the pictures, I took off the boot, you know, and then I just put it back on, and that was, like, a very simple thing. You know, I just took it off for a few minutes to do the pictures. But for something that's literally like a medical device for like diabetes like that that is on you, insane ass. Like that is so, yeah.

44:39Ian Hecox:It's also a small device. She said less than two inches each. It's just like, okay.

44:44Shayne Topp:Some people just get so obsessed with like the aesthetics of a wedding.

44:48Ian Hecox:Yeah, and it's just like, hey, like there's color schemes, there's certain themes, fine. but when it gets to like change who you are as a human being for this that's always where they're in the wrong the verdict was not the asshole also unfortunate and this just seems like always the case when we read wedding reddit stories where the mom and other people side with the person who's shitty like just always feels like yeah the shitty person's gonna have more people backing them for some reason

45:17Shayne Topp:I mean I think there's just a lot of like misunderstanding around, you know, like medical equipment and diabetes and that kind of stuff. And people think it's like optional. Right. I guess. And yeah.

45:35Ian Hecox:And it's easy for them to say it to someone, to be like, oh, just move it to somewhere else. It's just like, you're not the one who has to deal with it. Like they are. Yeah. No, and you're right. Like, because like, it's clear that she feels like a certain type of way about it all the time. because like it's something that she noticed and brought up like it if i was in that situation i wouldn't even think of that i feel like i wouldn't ever look at that and be like oh no like she's it's something that she notices and is always looking at or always like thinking thinking of often that it was a big enough deal for her to be like i don't want that in my picture right which

46:09Shayne Topp:is just like uncomfortable yeah it doesn't really matter what everyone else thinks because like Like, if it's related to your health, it's none of your business. Yeah. Of course. 100%.

46:19Ian Hecox:I agree with that. But what an awful situation for OP because now her sister's done that. Her mom's taken her side. Yeah. All of her friends. It's like, oh, she now, even after this wedding, whether she does this compromise or not, it's like you have to move on past that knowing now how you're perceived by these people who are supposed to have your back. That's got to be very hurtful. If it's so dire for the sister, she could probably even talk to OP and just be like, is it cool if I Photoshop it out afterwards?

46:51Shayne Topp:Like, fine.

46:52Ian Hecox:Like, you know, there's that option as opposed to like, hey, really alter all this stuff that is so crucial to you.

46:59Shayne Topp:Yeah, that's a super, I mean, if it's just like the glucose monitor on your arm, that's super easy.

47:05Ian Hecox:I just can't imagine being bothered by it, though.

47:07Shayne Topp:To paint that out in Photoshop.

47:08Ian Hecox:Sure, that'd be easy to do. But even still, I'm like, I just can't imagine being upset about that. It just communicates. Just even bringing it up communicates of like, oh, that thing, it's ugly. I don't want it in my photos. That ugly thing on your arm, could you move it? Even if you don't say it like that, that's what you're communicating. That thing isn't aesthetically pleasing. I don't want it in my photos. It's just a really shitty thing to do.

47:31Shayne Topp:I think it's kind of cool. You look like a cyborg. Yeah, totally. Cyberpunk. Yeah, exactly. It is cyberpunk.

47:38Ian Hecox:Comments, NotTheAsshole promptly declined the invitation to attend if your sister cares more about her aesthetic wants than your medical needs. 12 ,000 upvotes. Someone said, seconding this, I just got married wearing my Dexcom and tandem pump. I wore my Dexcom on my lower back, but I normally wear it on my arm. I did so for photos, and you know what? It sucked. My readings were off, and I was stressed about that. Looking back, I don't care if you could have seen my Dexcom because it's a huge part of who I am. Tell your sister to kick rocks if she cares more about her aesthetically pleasing wedding slash photos than your well-being.

48:13Ian Hecox:Yes. Someone else said, not the asshole. Photoshop exists for reasons just like this. Asking you to compromise your health is selfish for them, not to mention unreasonable. Someone said, my aunt turned up to my wedding with four stitches in her forehead from surfing that morning. She was also dopey from the meds. The photographer we had just removed them and we didn't notice until he told us he did it. Smosh Reads Reddit Stories is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today. Smart choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called AutoQuote Explorer that allows you to compare your Progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies.

48:54Ian Hecox:So you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this episode at Progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Not available in all states or situations. Prices vary based on how you buy. Back to the show. Hey. That's awesome. That's pretty cool. Yeah, my aunt was shredding some crazy gnar cracked open her skull.

49:18Shayne Topp:Didn't matter. I love the idea of just showing up to a wedding just fucked up.

49:26Ian Hecox:We could cut this, but I'm also like, oh, and the photographer also made our aunt snatched with huge naturals.

49:35Ian Hecox:It's just like crazy proportions. It's like, what the hell did you do to our aunt? And our uncle, too. I don't know the idea.

49:43Shayne Topp:He's like, we just asked for a slight touch-up.

49:45Ian Hecox:Jesus, you gave my uncle just a massive butt. I have the idea of going to my nephew's wedding and being like, dude, I kind of want to surf this morning. Let me go catch some waves this morning. I got to go catch some waves, dude. Someone said, not the asshole, and I am judging your mother hard. Your sister and mother suck, frankly. Who in their right minds asks someone they love to neglect their very serious health issue for aesthetics? A lot of people. A lot of people are just out of their minds at weddings. I don't know what the deal is. Update. Oh my gosh, thank you so much to everyone for the responses.

50:21Ian Hecox:I didn't expect this post to blow up the way it did at all, so I have an update for everyone. I didn't want to involve others hoping to settle this between myself and my mom slash sister, But my brother got wind of what happened last night and absolutely tore my mom and sister a new one about how hurtful it was to suggest I go without my devices just for her wedding photos. He then told my grandfather, who is paying for the wedding. Grandpa apparently drove an hour into town this afternoon just to tell my mother how disappointed he was and that he must have gone wrong somewhere raising her. He told her that if they didn't apologize and make things right, my mom should figure out how to pay for all of the outstanding wedding costs herself.

50:59Ian Hecox:Now I do think this was a bit extreme. I wasn't looking to cause this much trouble for my mom and sister. But it seems to have worked because they called me to apologize and say it was wrong of them to suggest I just go without my monitor and pump and we can find a way to dress it up instead. I accepted their apologies. We decided to try wearing flower corsages over each device so they can't be seen. If that doesn't work, we can try a shawl as many of you suggested. Again, thank you for all the support. I'll be giving my grandpa a big hug and buying my little brother dinner tonight as a thank you for having my back on this.

51:31Ian Hecox:Maybe it seems minor to some, but it was really upsetting to me that my own family turned on me when it came to my own health. So it was a really big deal to me that they unconditionally supported me when my mom and sister wouldn't. That's so great. Yeah.

51:46Shayne Topp:Thank God. Thank God. That's a happy ending. The happy ending. And I mean, I think it's just like, you know I think it was just more of like an ignorance thing with the daughter and mom like so I mean it seems like the apology I would I would accept the apology sure I get that because

52:06Ian Hecox:like I know with a lot of weddings the vibe is like hey let's make everything peaceful and right yeah but I think it's good she stood her ground here I'm really glad that she had other people back her up. I get that like after the apologies and after the acceptance of like okay you're not going to have to go through that ordeal to be like alright now I'll keep the peace. I'll accept your apology. We can move on from this as opposed to like holding it on them. But happy about this situation.

52:37Shayne Topp:Happy ending. We don't get a lot of those on Reddit. I just like picture like the grandfathers like this like oil tycoon guy and he like comes out of his Rolls Royce with his like little cane and he's like I tell you if you don't if you don't apologize to my granddaughter I'm cutting you out of the wheel

52:58Ian Hecox:I'm picturing the grandpa as the monopoly man yeah exactly yeah yeah this last story comes from true off my chest you look stressed out I am stressed out just gripping his head just we talked earlier about how doctors see everything all day Sure. So it's like, doctors are not phased. So I was embarrassed to be, you know, basically naked in front of a doctor, but I'm like, oh, for me, I'm just another part of the job. Sure. I'm nothing special, just whatever.

53:27Shayne Topp:I see a lot of objects

53:28Ian Hecox:and a lot of different holes. Right. Yep. But this final title, this was posted in March of 2025, Surgeon Made Fun of My Penis.

53:40Shayne Topp:Oh, no. Okay. Dude. Yeah. Oh, God.

53:45Ian Hecox:Oh, my God.

53:48Shayne Topp:That's so funny.

53:50Ian Hecox:Okay. All right. Let's see what this is. Let's hear him out. Dude, imagine... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Imagine, like, getting home from surgery, and you, like, it's a roommate part or whatever, and you're like, ugh, dude, the surgeon made fun of my penis.

54:06Shayne Topp:I'm dying... Now I'm, like, dying to know. I want to know details on this man's penis. Yeah, I got it. Is there a photo? Is it a funny-looking one? Yeah.

54:15Ian Hecox:Oh, God. All right.

54:17Shayne Topp:Let's go.

54:18Ian Hecox:I, 32 male at the time, am a big dude of 2 meters and 120 kilograms. That's 6 '6", 250 pounds in drunk pirate units. And had to have surgery on my calves because of varicose veins. So the day of, I was told to get completely undressed and put on the generic open back gown, which due to my frame made me look like Donald Duck, if you know what I mean. I was led to the OR by a nurse and placed on a cold metal table. They administered some local anesthesia to my legs, and after about 10 minutes, laying naked in a cold, brightly lit room, waiting to be sliced up, the two doctors strolled in. I was very anxious, cold, and self-conscious, so I just stayed still.

55:00Ian Hecox:He's really saying a lot of cold.

55:03Shayne Topp:Also, I was really cold. It's very cold. And I was just in the pool. It was very cold. It's freezing, guys, freezing. I see where this is going. Continue.

55:14Ian Hecox:Nurse says, anesthesia was given, patient ready. Doc one walks to the table. Wow, big fucker and such a small dick. No, no, no, no. You can't just. Doc two laughs. OP goes, what? Nurse, in a panic, oh no, you have the wrong patient file. This one isn't the fully sedated one. He is awake.

55:40Shayne Topp:Yes! Dude, if I'm awake on an operating table and a doctor thinks I'm asleep and makes a joke about my tiny penis, I don't think I would make a noise. Like, I think I would be so mortified that I'd just be like, that was the worst thing ever. Like, I might just go into a coma. I might just die.

56:01Shayne Topp:I mean, like, yeah. Wow. Wow.

56:06Ian Hecox:So, yeah, nobody said another word to me for the rest of the operation. Just 200 decibels of awkward silence while they ripped veins out of me. It felt like Ricky Gervais wrote this scene. I should have walked out, but I was too shocked to even think. When they were done, they exchanged quiet words with the nurse and quickly walked out. It was a bit shocking, but I quickly laughed it off. I mean, they weren't wrong, but man, some people. Edit, this was 10 years ago. I am fine.

56:35Shayne Topp:Oh, God. Dude. Damn, dude. I mean, yeah, of course. Because, you know, like, doctors are humans like everybody else. And they're going to talk. You know? I know. But there's obviously, like, a level of professionalism you're supposed to bring to the workspace. And then you go home and you be like, honey, this dude. Dude, yeah. But, yikes. Yeah, dude. At the very least, if you're going to make fun of someone's dick, at least try and be funny. Like, at least make something, like a little shrimp, like, ooh. Right. I didn't realize I ordered the shrimp Alfredo. Like, at least try.

57:23Ian Hecox:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I would expect if they're even attempting something.

57:26Shayne Topp:If they're attempting some sort of, you know, well-thought-out joke. I guess, like, why is it even worth commenting on? If I'm a doctor, like, I don't want to, I wouldn't want to, like, look. I would probably try to avoid looking at as many penises as possible.

57:42Ian Hecox:Because you're going to see so many throughout the day. It's not something I want to look at. And, like, I'm not going to, like, let my, like, examine it. Like, I'm working on his legs. I'm going to look at his legs. I'm not going to, like, be like, ooh. But they had the wrong patient file. They didn't know why they were.

57:56Shayne Topp:Because it was a local anesthesia, not a full end. It was a local anesthesia. So this guy was fully awake. So dumbass read the chart wrong or read the wrong chart.

58:05Ian Hecox:It's kind of one of those situations where I'm like, I understand that they thought he was fully sedated. But it's like, dude, you're a professional. I also understand that doctors are just in there all day. This is just like becomes routine. But it's like, damn, man, like I'm still like, you're an asshole. You're like, that's still a really mean thing to be doing and saying

58:24Shayne Topp:and the way you're talking about patients. I mean, it's physicians like that that make people afraid to go to the doctor because they're self-conscious about something on their bodies that then they don't want to share with the doctor. They're afraid of that kind of judgment. So, yeah. I feel like commenting on anyone's, like, physical appearance in any way like that is just, like, yeah, just something you don't need to do. It's not, like, a necessary.

58:51Ian Hecox:Comments, wrong patient file. The fuck do you mean wrong patient file? I just saw a penis. Okay, what? Was it? No, it was in a show. And it was like, was it the chair company?

59:06Shayne Topp:Was it Salt Burn? It was the most recent episode of the chair company. And at the end, I was like, come on, man. It was weird. It was a weird penis?

59:17Ian Hecox:No, it was a fake penis, but it was a penis. And it was just, you didn't see it coming. You really didn't. Yeah. Anyways. Yeah, sometimes you don't. Another comment says, My grandma told me a story like this. She wasn't fully sedated while they had to save her during an ectopic pregnancy. After the doctor came in, they said, Oh boy, she's got some mud mashers on her. I know she ain't happy with those feet. She has a beautiful face, but look at those feet. My grandma wears a size 10 wide for women. so she has big feet but stands at a solid 5 '3", or 160 centimeters. She couldn't speak, but she wishes she had told them that she heard them after she fully woke up.

59:59Ian Hecox:OP responded, I once worked on a live-streamed operation as a sound guy. Doc had a mic on, walks up to an elderly cancer patient, opens the torso, sighs, and says, Yeah, close her back up. She won't live another month. Let's do lunch. This was streamed live to six universities. Docs are just people mechanics.

1:00:18Shayne Topp:Yeah.

1:00:20Ian Hecox:Someone said just a thought, but have you tried having a bigger penis? Dude, hell yeah. Oh. I should, oh man, I never thought about that. Dude, that's good advice. Oh, that is really good advice.

1:00:32Shayne Topp:Wow, damn. I didn't know we'd be, just be on cock talk for like the last 20 minutes of this. That's what happens when you get the guys. Yeah, unfortunately. Unfortunately, that's just what happens when you get three boys in a room.

1:00:46Ian Hecox:That's medical drama. You know what I mean? Penises.

1:00:49Shayne Topp:Did this happen on the pit? Yeah. Yeah.

1:00:53Ian Hecox:Probably. That's my favorite part of the pit. Did this happen in the live show? We don't know yet.

1:00:56Shayne Topp:We don't know yet. That's true.

1:00:58Ian Hecox:Anything could have happened in that live show, which you should check out by going to live.smosh.com. It's probably going to be pretty wild.

1:01:09Shayne Topp:It's pretty great. It's pretty good. It's pretty great. There's improv. there's things that we we've written like an entire drama we have a full like

1:01:20Ian Hecox:medical drama in there with also a bunch of improv wildness going on too so anyways Trevor, Ian thank you for joining me today thank you Dr. Top thank you Dr. Dilf oh wow it does say that this is your office I do sleep here

1:01:42Shayne Topp:For the podcast listeners, there's a plaque behind me that says Dr. Dilf. I had no idea that was there.

1:01:48Ian Hecox:And it says MFT PsyD PhD. You were in college forever.

1:01:53Shayne Topp:Yeah.

1:01:54Ian Hecox:Yeah.

1:01:54Shayne Topp:Still are. Trying out for the bar tomorrow.

1:01:57Ian Hecox:Nice, man. Add to it Esquire. Pretty sick. Thank you for watching. And please go check out our live show at live.smash.com. And we'll see you next Saturday. Bye. Bye-bye.