Reddit's Biggest Jerks w/ Pokimane | Reading Reddit Stories

25:20No, that's so real. It's really tricky. Every story we read about weddings, something happens with every wedding. I don't know what it is, man. I will say, like, I think it's a, maybe you're right in that, like, oh, potentially this ex does pop off and get upset about their ex being around or whatever. I think I'm just the type that, I'm like, I hate when we anticipate a problem that might not even happen. Like, why are we even worrying about it? But to be fair, if it's her cousin, I am assuming she knows how the breakup has gone for her. So I'm also thinking about it like, maybe Kim has seen Leslie cry every day.

25:58And she's like, if she sees him with another girl, she's crying for sure at my wedding. If my cousin's crying at my wedding, I'm crying at my wedding. Now I'm worrying about my cousin instead of just enjoying my day. They don't want this to be the storyline. of the wedding. Yeah, oh my gosh, yeah. But I think if that's the case, like you can communicate that and if OP is a friend who cares, he'll be like, I get it. I'd rather that not be the narrative for the night too. Yeah. I won't bring anyone even though I'm allowed to. Right. Yeah, it ultimately just doesn't sound like they're communicating effectively.

26:29Yeah, I agree. If I'm Leslie and this is at the house that I was buying with my ex-boyfriend that I then got dumped because that process of buying that house resulted in revealing a bunch of stuff that I'd been lying about. Yeah. It's pretty awkward. That's open wounds. It's also tough. I feel like we're skating over that because I've brought up before. To me, that's a version of cheating where it's like that was lying. That was keeping a huge thing away from your partner. Your debt, yeah. Yeah, and I don't know what amount of it. They're saying it's pretty substantial, but... I mean, for him to break up a four-year relationship, I'm sure it was substantial.

27:05Yeah. I mean, it's just... there's so many details that I think would affect how I view this. And we don't have any of it. And I think Leslie, like, if she didn't want this guy there, I feel like it is more important if you're a blood relative, like if it's a blood relative versus a friend. I don't know. I guess it really depends on your life experience. I understand why they're inviting him. Yeah, but being like, well, if Leslie doesn't want to see him, would she want to go? I would, as the bride, be like, no, I definitely want my cousin there. It would be really hard to miss out on, like, my cousin's wedding.

27:39Yeah. Or I would backflip to the moon for my cousin's wedding. Tricky situation. Low-key, like, wedding situations and conflicts are sometimes really interesting because it's such a unique circumstance that really doesn't work any other day of your whole life. Truly. I have never heard about a wedding going, like, perfectly, 100 % fine. There's always something. There's always some aspect. I've never heard of a wedding. I don't know what a wedding is. What do they do with those? What is wedding? What is wedding? Update. Okay. Oh, it's Update City. Okay, we brought updates for Pokimane. Thank you, Reda, for bringing the updates.

28:24So I met with Dave this morning. We talked for almost two hours about everything. I laid it out that I thought he was, at best, a shitty friend. I went through our long history of various things over the years that has me questioning our friendship. That was the bulk of our conversation. We then turned to the breakup with Leslie and the shit show of the last six months. Throughout the last six months, despite Leslie's craziness, I have bent over backwards to try and accommodate her feelings. She has shown up to my house in the middle of the night. I did not get a restraining order. When I go out, I do not go to places I know that she and her family like to go to.

28:57She has implied to her family and mutual friends at various times that I cheated and or that I took advantage of her financially Neither of which is true at all I have held my tongue so as to not embarrass her about these things in front of her friends and family Dave knows all that and yet is demanding once again that I put Leslie's feelings before my own I said you and everyone need to stop coddling her like she is a fucking child Dave concedes that Leslie has been crazy and ridiculous since the breakup But he says she feels she did not get closure after the relationship. She wants to have an evening where she can talk to you to get that closure.

29:31No, fuck that. Oh, my God. He also told me that Leslie has been very vigilant about paying off her debt and paid off almost$10 ,000 of credit card debt. She wants to talk to me about her progress to see if that might cause me to change my mind. It will not. I asked him, so do you expect me to go to the wedding and talk to her? Because I have her blocked everywhere. And date or not, I do not plan to say a single mumbling word to her. He said, I fully expect she would lose it if y 'all do not talk at the wedding. I told him that if that's the case, then for the good of my property, I can't have Leslie come.

30:08If she is so unstable that I need to be coerced into a conversation with her, she is too unsafe to be a guest in any capacity in my home. So I've told him, based on what he has told me, Leslie cannot come to my house or on my land. I am willing to still have the wedding at my place, but I cannot trust Leslie won't do something given what you are telling me. Dave lost it at this point. He said, fuck you and your shit. I don't need it. So I said, then the wedding is off. He left. That is the state of things. He said like he was the bride. I'm breaking up with you. Throws a ring suddenly. All right, well, that changes everything for me.

30:41I had a feeling, I was like, there must have been a lot more mess if it's like that. The commenter was right about, like, ooh, they're trying to get you two back together. It's certainly, like, it's not a bad guess. I just always am, like, a little hesitant when they jump to, well, here's what's going on. I'm like, well, a couple things going on. But it still wound up to be right. It was true. That's crazy. They were right. Yeah, they had, like, their whole intentions, and they're clearly not respecting him. I agree. They're being very disrespectful. It's also just sad to think, oh, these people are friends.

31:11they've known each other so long and it's escalating to this degree before a wedding. To be honest, I would like to avoid drama. Like if I was in his shoes, I would recognize that my conversation with David, right? My conversation with him signals to me that he doesn't really trust my opinion as much as I'd like him to in regards to what happened. or he's not respecting and validating my feelings or trusting what I want. I don't want to get back with them. Why are you pushing for that? I feel like that's very inappropriate. Or even allowing space for that. Yeah, it's so odd. To be honest, I would still let them do the wedding.

31:52Maybe I wouldn't go. I would go, not bring a date, whatever. I would just let that move on and like pass and then I'd probably just distance myself fully and continue my life as I please. To like avoid the hassle and everything. I get that. It must be really hard to stay in a friend circle like that where like everybody is coddling your ex's feelings. Who did you very dirty? Yeah, dangerously. It just seems like a bad situation. Yeah. It's a rough thing. Or like an unhealthy situation for him to be in. Yeah. I feel like it's very common for people to meet their partners via like friends, right?

32:26Yeah. And that's a great thing. It can be tricky once if a breakup happens and it's like, well, what happens to the friend group now? Because people have different vibes. Yeah. But ultimately, this comes down to Dave knows that Leslie showed up to his house in the middle of the night. Some of these things are way beyond crossing a line. She's not respecting his boundaries. She's not respecting his nose. And then Dave literally tells him, well, I know she wants to use this wedding as a vehicle to talk to you. Which is showing Leslie's not even respecting their wedding. She's not there for their wedding.

32:58She's there for him. That and shouldn't, like, to me as a friend, I want to have the same, like, morals and ethics as the people and values that I surround myself with. I would be looking at David like, don't you think that's weird? Yeah, like, you're cool with this? Shouldn't we agree? Yeah, shouldn't we agree? She, like, she stalked me essentially. Hello? Like, he could have gotten a restraining order and he didn't. Because there's the aspect of, like, yeah, it's your wedding. It's your day. Which means you also have the grounds to tell Leslie, like, you are absolutely not talking to him. Yeah.

33:28On our wedding. Like it's our wedding and our demand of you is you're allowed to go if you don't talk to him. Don't bother him. If you're asking one person not to bring a date, you could ask the other person, don't talk to this person. Yeah, I feel like at the end of the day, that's probably the most fair. More than fair. That's like the closest to everybody happy if possible. Like if you can't bear to be in the same building and you have to talk to them, please. My love. Get it. I feel like, because I have been at events where there were people in my life that didn't get along the best. But for the sake of this event, they all chose to get along well.

34:06And it was actually really amazing. And that was respecting the event and the context. And that means a lot. And it's like you're saying, this person, Leslie, is making the wedding about her. And it seems like the groom in this conversation is just cool with that. The bride cares about their cousin. And it's just, oof. Yeah, it's very murky. And, like, yeah, I totally see what you're saying. I was just like, like, give them the night they want. But I'm like, I just... Afterwards, deuces. Yeah, I just picture, like, if I was OP, I'm just, like, in my robe drinking coffee, like, watching them down below at the gazebo.

34:44Yeah. I also feel like that's so short-sighted because, okay, let's say they do talk. What if it goes badly? Something's gonna happen. It's gonna be, like, a food fight. There's gonna be a food fight. It's actually gonna be sick. I also am just always blown away when I hear about friends trying to get their friend back with their ex. And I'm just like, if the friend has been like, no, I'm not going back to that ex. But the friends are like, well, we're going to try to manufacture and make it happen. It's like, you're not respecting your friend at all. Yeah. Talking about manufacturing, making it happen, like the previous story.

35:14Leslie did all these horrible things to OP. Like, horrible things. They're all aware of. And Leslie's like, but I've done the work. It's like, well, what kind of work? You're doing financial saving? That's really cool. That's really awesome. But you also, like, You lied to him. You hid this for years. Yeah, man. So he's within his right to not want to be with you. Absolutely. And your friends should absolutely respect that. That's why, if I'm OP, I accept that these circumstances came about when I was with someone. I let them fully, you know, finish and end, and I close that chapter, and I likely move on with maybe some new friends that respect my wishes.

35:53Weddings are always that like moment, you know, or not always. It really tests everything. It can be a test. All right. Our next story. Dang, no updates. Yeah, an update to an update would have been crazy. Oh, wait, yeah. It happens. Am I the asshole for leaving my boyfriend's apartment after he spent the entire night gaming with his friends, wouldn't let me in his room, and made me feel like a guest instead of his girlfriend? I'm a 25-year-old woman. He's a 26-year-old man. and we've been dating for just under a year. Things were mostly good until last weekend and now I'm wondering if this is a sign of something bigger.

36:28Here's what happened. He invited me over Saturday night because he was having his friends online for a gaming night. I'm not super into gaming, but I figured it could still be fun. I pictured us hanging out. Maybe I'd watch for a bit, grab us some snacks, and then when they were done, we'd cuddle up and spend time together. Instead, the second I got there, he pretty much disappeared into his room with his headset on. I tried to hover for a minute like, hey, can I watch? He said, there's no space in here. I'll be a while. Then he shut the door. I decided to sit on the couch in his living room by myself, listening to him yell and laugh through his headset with his friends.

37:01I felt really awkward. It wasn't like I could jump in or join them. They weren't playing Mario Kart or something fun to watch. It was a raid or whatever that lasts hours long. What do you think the game is? It's probably well. Okay. If it was a raid, it's probably well. Oh, my God. I didn't want to just scroll my phone all night either. But that's basically what I did. I even debated just going home, but I thought maybe he'd be done soon. Except soon never came. I checked the time around 11.30 p.m., then midnight, then 1 a.m., and he still hadn't come out once to check on me. Not even a, hey, you good?

37:34He had ordered food earlier for himself and his friends. What? No, that's crazy work. He's pushing it. But didn't even ask if I wanted anything. That part stung because I literally sat there hungry while they ate in his room. What? Not with the food. At 2 a.m., I finally knocked and asked if he was almost done. He didn't even take his headset off, just looked at me annoyed and said, we're in the middle of a raid, go to sleep if you're tired. I don't know why, but that just broke me. It wasn't about the gaming, it's the fact that he made me feel like some random guest, not his girlfriend. Why did he even invite me over?

38:05I packed up my stuff, grabbed my bag, and left quietly. I didn't slam the door or make a scene. I felt too humiliated to stay. I thought maybe he'd notice I left and call, but nope. The next morning, he texted me like nothing was wrong, asking where I went. When I told him I left because I felt ignored, he flipped it around and said I was being dramatic and immature. According to him, I could have just waited it out like a chill girlfriend. I'll admit. Waited it out? Wait, you mean like an inanimate object? You mean like an NPC? Like a chill girlfriend. Or a lamp. I'll admit, maybe I could have spoken up sooner instead of stewing on the couch for hours.

38:41I didn't want to nag, so I just kept telling myself he'd be done soon. At the same time, why should I have to beg for attention in my own boyfriend's apartment? It's one thing if he wants a night with his friends. I get that. But why even ask me to come over? This isn't the first time he's blown me off for gaming. But it's never been this bad. Usually it's like 30 minutes here and there and then we do something together. I tried to bring that up and he just said I'm too needy and that he's not going to change how he relaxes. I don't want to blow up something good over one bad night. Am I the asshole for leaving his place in the middle of the night instead of just waiting it out?

39:12or was I right to set a boundary and refuse to sit there being treated like I'm invisible? You are definitely not the asshole. Dude, he said, Let's start there. He said, I just need to relax. On me, on me. I'm confused. So he had friends over. It sounds strange, yeah, because he's like, she's like, he got food for him and his friends. Yeah, but she said they had them online. None of it adds up. Also, he said, like, there's no room in here. Yeah. Was that because they were also there? Right. Or was his room just so dirty? Wait, did he order food for himself or for him and his friends? She said him and his friends, so maybe he did have...

39:50Okay, so they were there. Is this AI? I don't think it is. Maybe it's just written strangely. No, I don't think this is AI. I think this is real. I'm going to operate off the assumption that his friends are in the room. Okay. And they're playing video games together, which I will say, like, it just doesn't add up. I feel like this could have been avoided by him just telling his girlfriend, like, oh, I'm having, like, my friends over tonight. Like, we can't hang out tonight. I'm doing a game night with some of my old buds. Yeah, or if he invites her, she'll have to actually be a part of it. Yeah.

40:18Not just, like, in the corner in another room. Yeah. What do you mean? What in the world? I would feel awful, like, in any sort of social setting, like, inviting someone who can't participate in what we're doing. It's more common than we probably realize. Like, I've seen a lot of stuff of people who, like, just their partner is just gaming while they're just, like, there. And it's, like, it seems like a sad time. Doesn't seem fun. Okay, listen.

40:45You turned into Robert De Niro right there. Okay. I will speak as someone who I've had many men be upset about how much I came. Oh, my God. Okay, okay. This is important perspective. I love this. But listen, for starters, there's a time and place. And secondly, there have been instances, for example, where maybe I'm just so focused on gaming, I lose track of time. I don't answer someone within an appropriate time period. I go MIA in the middle of a conversation. But when they tell me, hey, that made me feel this type of way, I say, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I was locked in. My bad. And it's not that hard to say.

41:28Also, you put yourself in someone else's shoes that wouldn't be too great. And there are some instances where it's not a big deal and some instances where it is. At the end of the day, I think most people can agree if they were in her shoes in that situation, they would not feel great. Honestly, she put up with so much. Me, I would have been pissed at just ordering food and not for me. I would have been done. The food would have been it for me too. There's so much inconsideration. You're never going to see me again. There's so much inconsideration within this. Like, she was down for him to play games all night and for her to hang out and watch.

42:01He set this up horribly. And even when she tells him, hey, I didn't feel too great. I didn't feel welcomed. what have you, just no validating her feelings, no trying to make her feel better. To me, that's the bigger issue. I can imagine someone really getting lost in a game night. Not great, but it happens sometimes. It's more so, hey, can we come back as a couple, get on the same page? Yeah. And feel like you care about my feelings. So next time you'll be considerate of me when I'm there. I feel like it shouldn't have gone so south. Absolutely. I think it's odd that the next day he reached out as if nothing was wrong, nothing happened.

42:39Yeah. When she, like, the way the night, the way, the last thing they said. Even the way she left. Yeah, the last thing they said to each other was she was like, hey, like, what's going on? I'm getting tired. And he said, go to bed. Go home. Like, it's nice. No, I don't think, the gaming is not the problem in this story. It's his responses to everything. His attitude. That is the problem. Just his lack of consideration, too. For sure, because, like, I will watch people play video games all day. Like, I watched him play lots of video games. I watched you in the Among Us era. I watched so much of that shit.

43:09Like, I love that. It can actually be fun to, like, sit behind someone while they're gaming. But, like, they should be letting you and they should just treat you like you're actually there, not invisible. I also think it's a very normal thing with couples where, like, a person has their hobby or something that's like, oh, I'm going to do this thing tonight. And that's going to be, I'm going to be doing this thing. And it's like, cool, like, do that thing while I do whatever. But if you order food, order food for everyone in the house, what are you doing? Yeah, that's like, that's good. I think this story, this story.

43:38It's about the food, actually. This story takes a completely different turn if it's like, oh, and he ordered food and he asked me what I wanted. It's like truly very different story. Did he check on you at all? Like that was wild behavior. Because right before you said the food, I was like, did he even get up to piss? Like what's happening? Probably not. And then when I hear he got up to order food and do all, like that means he got up, got food from a delivery person. Acknowledge the delivery person more than he acknowledged his partner. It's crazy. What's up, Greg? Nice, man. Sick, dude. Keep doing your thing.

44:08Keep doing pizza. Keep doing pizza. You do that pizza so good, Greg. He looks at her on the couch. Hump. Keeps on the couch. Oh, my God. Please. No. Like I said, I'm confused. He invited her over. Like, why invite her over? Like, if we're on occasion, right? The occasion was it's game night. Yeah, that's what it made it sound like. I don't know, man. It's odd. The verdict, not the asshole. I think it did end up being that they were all gaming online, but I think he only ordered food for himself. Yeah. I think that's what ended up happening. Maybe he like ate with his friends. Like they all were eating.

44:45You know what actually makes sense? If they're playing a game like World of Warcraft, they'd be like, oh, we're taking a break really quick. Oh, yes, yes. So we're all ordering food because we can't like raid while we eat. Yeah, and say World of Warcraft Grace. Say Grace. It is a thing. When you play World of Warcraft, you do have to pray before every raid. At least my guild would do that. I don't know if that's normal. Comments. Not the asshole. He wants an on-demand girlfriend to take care of him while he gives nothing. You deserve better. Someone said, not the asshole. If you wanted a boys-only gaming night, he should have been honest instead of inviting you over just to ignore you.

45:21You're his partner, not background furniture. You did the right thing leaving, and you're right to question if this is the kind of relationship you want long-term. Someone said, this isn't even how you treat a guest. His guests got food to eat. I wouldn't be surprised if this isn't some dumb TikTok dare. How long will my girlfriend sit in the living room whilst I game with my buddies and get takeaway? That, honestly, like, my brain went there because Reddit is so messed up sometimes. And, like, it's just, I was like, maybe he's putting, like, guys be doing tests on their girlfriends sometimes.

45:51It's so weird. Ew, I hate that. I know. Reddit's messed up. I've heard too many stories on this dang couch. Pokey, I've heard so many dark things. You know too much, honey. You know too much. Help me. We're messed up over here. You're a poor brain. Last comment said, not the asshole. By chill girlfriend, he means a girlfriend that doesn't make any demands of him or nag, as you said. A chill girlfriend sits there, hungry, silent, and alone, waiting patiently for him because he might have a moment for her. It doesn't get better, by the way. He's old enough to know what his plans for an evening slash night are, and if he wants to game into the wee hours with his friends, he should be adult enough to say, I've made plans with my friends to game, so how about we get together another night?

46:31and do that. Having you waiting in the other room feels like he was having you on standby in case he had a girlfriend fulfilling need. That's so weird. I will say like everything was sort of salvageable until they had a conversation and he still didn't care. That I can't understand. I agree. I cannot. I agree. The response, I feel like there's never been a time where I've heard a boyfriend say that their girlfriend's being overdramatic and it goes well. And it goes well. I guess I'm too dramatic for you. And then I dramatically leave. And that's how you do it. And that's how it's done. All right.

47:08There is no update because this was posted yesterday as of us reading this. So this happened last night. That's so sad. Crazy, man. People are playing World of Warcraft right now. Which still shocks me. What are we doing about it? Still shocks me. What are you doing about it? Yeah. I stopped playing that game when I was 15. That was 30 years ago. It's going strong. All right. Our next story. Am I the asshole for being upset with my$150 engagement ring? Oh... My fiancé is quite well off. And while I don't make as much as him, I certainly would not be struggling on my own. He rotates between a few very expensive watches that he wears to work.

47:53And while we have a good grasp on financial literacy, we aren't shy about spending for the important parts of life. We openly share finances, so I know he isn't secretly in debt or any such nonsense. The ring is nice and understated, but more of a nice stacker than an engagement ring to show off. The stone, which I'm doubtful is a diamond, is quite small. It is not an heirloom. When friends or family get engaged, there is always the excitement in sharing the news, and inevitably someone will ask to see the ring, and then everyone coos over it, and it's a good time. When I showed mine, the mood got awkward and they feigned excitement just long enough until it was okay to change the topic.

48:29This is not a knock on them. They are just terrible liars. I would like to make clear that I am not expecting a three-month salary ring or an over-the-top wedding. However, this is a piece I will be wearing daily for decades and is largely considered a symbol of his love. I know not all feel this way, but we do, or at least I thought we did. But I really don't think I'm out of line for thinking of it as a long-term investment piece, given the amount of wear it will see and the sentimentality behind it. Surely it is worth more than a gaming console. That's not as much as a gaming console. A gaming console is twice as much as that, man.

49:08They ask, am I the asshole here? Interesting. No, I'm so curious. Did they talk about it? That's literally what I was like. Like communication. What was the ring convo? Yeah. There's got to be a ring convo. Because if you have a ring convo and she's like, I want a ring pop. He's like, okay, ring pop. And then you both are happy about the ring pop. Okay. But if you have a conversation and you set an expectation and he either doesn't meet it or doesn't want to. Or he's like, well, I feel like you should not even care. Right. Interesting, yeah. It sounded like the wording at the end there, she was like, I thought we had the same opinions on this.

49:48Right. Maybe she thought they had the same opinions on spending in general, but maybe he had some sort of different Respective when it comes to the ring. I'm not sure He has expensive watches. Oh, not the watch costing more than that Cost more if she's singing as expensive watches it certainly adds a layer to it of like, okay He spends money like that on himself, you know, it's like would you want to spend that on your partner? But I thought they said they will splurge on experiences or vacations or whatever, right? Yeah. What happened here? Where's the splurge? And is this a pattern? Does he usually maybe not really buy lavish things when it comes to her birthdays and things like that?

50:37I guess if I was in her shoes, that's what I'd be more mindful of. Is he more reserved when it comes to spending on me? Is that maybe an issue we'll have when we're married? or when we want kids or when there are more important, you know, that's where my line of thinking is. Yeah. We read a story where, very similar, where the fiance got her a ring, OP a ring, and it was off of Timu. And it was like, Yeah, it was like$40 maybe, Max. It was like$40 maybe. And we all just kind of agreed, like, that ring's not going to last very long at all. No, like, supposedly it was a big moissanite gemstone, but like whatever carrot gold was on there, like I think someone had looked into it, like that gold would have gone, a gust of wind.

51:22Yeah. It would have been gone. All the specks come up. Yeah, and then your finger's green. They share finances, so they know their financial situation. I don't think it's, and she's saying it's not about an expensive ring, but it is about like you are going to wear this ring every day. For me, it's also, sorry to interrupt. No, you're fine. Like if I was dating someone who maybe struggled a little bit financially, and they got me a$150 ring, I'd be like, well, if you don't make that much, that is, like, that's so much. I'd be so grateful. Right. But she knows he has the money to spend more on such an important, like, gift that he's giving her that's going to signify their love and their union.

52:02That's the part that I'm weird about. Like, she can see how much he makes, so what? I don't understand where he's coming at it from. It's the thought that counts, right? Because if it was an heirloom that he didn't spend money on, but he's like, oh, this is my grandmother's ring or something, That would mean just as much. Right, but then what's the thought? There's just the amount of importance that he puts on it, but it kind of makes it sound like this was a bit of a throwaway for him. Why would that be the case? Right? And she said it didn't look like it was a diamond at all. She doesn't think it's a real diamond, but it's small.

52:30She calls it a stacker, which is, whoa, all right. That's a phrase. But I know plenty of people who are married, and I feel like everybody has a very different story of what they wanted out of a ring. And I know plenty of people whose rings are very inexpensive, because they talked and agreed, like, I don't want that. This is why you go ring shopping. I want this. You can be on the same page. But there's still, like, an agreement between them of, like, the significance. And that's what's important. But it sounds like they are on very different pages, which is scary when you're engaged. Verdict, not the asshole.

53:03Comments, some are calling you shallow, but you've made it clear that you're not asking for anything super expensive, just something a step above costume jewelry, especially given your comments that he also has a few nice watches he wears etc. I don't think you're shallow or an asshole for wanting something nicer. At the same time I don't think he's the asshole for getting you what he got. What's clear is that you guys had zero communication about the cost or style of the ring before it was bought even though you are open enough about your finances to share them. This speaks more to problems inherent in your relationship than the ring itself.

53:34You need to talk to him about your concerns and if that's important to you contribute to the cost of a nicer ring. OP responded to that saying, We had briefly talked about overall style, and he has access to my jewelry box to know the stuff I typically wear. As the price of the ring wasn't very important to me, the budget for it was never really discussed, which I see as a mistake now, but I didn't realize that this could be a problem. We'll be talking about this for sure, but I know this can be a touchy subject and wanted an objective eye on it first. Someone else said, Not the asshole. I think you need to communicate ASAP and find out the reasoning behind the ring.

54:08It's not always about the actual money, but about the message it sends. To you, he's saying that he might not think you're worth spending more money on. Or it could be completely different in his mind. But you won't know until you talk to him. Engagement rings are a significant statement in our society as much as people want to think otherwise. Plus, this is a good way to figure out if you share similar values around money, et cetera. That one, that's a good question. Yeah, that is very good. Opie responded to that saying, I suspect it was his way of seeing if I was marrying him or his money. That's what I was thinking too.

54:37But also, why are you testing someone? Someone via an engagement. Yeah, I know they're engaged. Like, shouldn't you be sure that I care about you? Yeah. Yeah. I don't like tests in relationships. I know. But it just comes off as insecure and is quite hurtful for him to bring that into what should be an entirely happy moment. We will be communicating more on this, but sometimes it helps to see what strangers think before going into a tricky conversation. So I can better see both sides and not act so emotional when it's all going down. Lastly, someone said, said, info, how do you know it cost$150?

55:10Did you know he was going to propose? My wife knew I was going to propose because we talked about marriage. My wife loved her engagement ring because we talked about what she wanted. I had her look at hundreds of rings online and tell me what she liked slash didn't like about each one so I could find a ring she liked within my budget. After five years, she still talks about how beautiful her ring is. OP responded saying, we share our finances and I saw the charge on the bank statement. I didn't know what it was at the time. Nothing is ever abbreviated normally. But looking back, it was definitely the ring.

55:39I knew he was going to propose, and I tried not to hound him with the ring ideas. But he should have had a decent idea of the general style I like. I still think, like, you know, you can never communicate too much. I think it should be laid out. Yes. Like, unless you're someone who loves a surprise more than anything, like, you should really talk about it. And rings can be very different. Like, the styles and everything. Like, the way me and Jane did it was, like, I found, like, ten links and, like, sent them to him. And I was like, if he picks any of those, it's cool because he picked it. And then there's still kind of a surprise.

56:12Yes. But you know it's something you'll like. Yes. Very that. Yeah. Exactly. Also, I was a little about the fact that she was seeking other people's objective opinions in a situation that, to me, is super subjective. All that matters when it comes to an engagement ring is what you and your partner decide on. whether you want it to be, again, a ring pop or$10 ,000, whatever is really up to what you guys decide and communicate on. That's kind of true. I do feel like everything with an engagement is, it's a test in a way, but it's more of just communication of how well you know each other and how much you respect each other and how important each other are to one another.

56:54And for her, this was not fitting that. So it requires a conversation. Yeah, so she is suspicious that he's seeing if she's marrying him for his money or not. Is she going to get upset? I mean, I feel like you don't have to throw a fit. I'm leaving you. But, you know, just kindly talk to him and be like, hey, I noticed. And, of course, like, I don't, you know, I don't need a ring to be a million dollars. But I'm curious why you chose this one. And just let him do the talking and see from there where it goes. Yeah. That and like even before that being like, so what inspired this ring? Yeah. So like tell me the story of this ring.

57:36Haha, this ring is so great. So like what was going on with it? What's the deal? Well, we're going to find out because we have an update. Okay. Because you were reading her replies in the comments and I was like, oh, there's no update. I would be so dissatisfied. Let's go. This is a good episode, guys. Thank you. I'm so happy. Amazing. Yes. All right, he came home and we were settling down around dinner. I started the conversation with, honey, I'd like to talk about the ring. And before I could finish, he just blew up. Started yelling, fucking finally, and how I'd ruined everything by waiting so long.

58:12To be brief, he bought a shitty ring from a jeweler who got bad reviews so that when I got upset over it, he could dump me under the guise that I was a gold digger. He has apparently been having an affair. Turns out COVID had shortened his work hours, not extended, with a younger model that he's earned, but knew that breaking things off when everyone loved me so much would hurt his optics, so he had to make it my fault. He knew that leaving this pariahship would gain him sympathy, and there was a lot of rhetoric that clearly wasn't his own words, but something he was parroting from what I highly suspect is from a much too influential work friend that I've had disagreements with in the past.

58:56Changes I had attributed to work stress are glaringly obvious to me now As symptoms of something more malicious under the surface And I feel really ashamed I didn't see things more clearly earlier Or wasn't somehow able to head things off before they got this far I won't be sticking around to dig any deeper But I know my now ex-fiance would not have done and said the things he did Without being pushed from bad influences behind the scenes This doesn't mean I forgive him I think he is incredibly weak and feeble-minded for letting this happen to us But I also doubt I'll be contacting many of our mutual friends as the dust settles.

59:30I left in the middle of his tirade around the 15-minute mark, and I'm staying at my mother's. I haven't cried yet, and I think I'm still waiting for it. All to suddenly make sense, but I know logically it might not ever. Thank you to everyone who responded to my post and offered your thoughts. I don't think anyone could have predicted what was going to happen from the information I gave. The way she dodged a bullet, though. Yeah. That is crazy. When you first said, oh, I was waiting for you to bring it up, the first thing that came to my mind was, that was a prank ring. Here's the bill. I thought so, too.

1:00:05I thought it was not wrong. What happened? Oh, my God. No, it was a prank affair. Yeah. That's crazy. Also, is it not even crazier that he unveiled everything? Yeah. On one hand, great closure for her. I'm happy in that regard. But on the other hand, psych. Oh, God. 100%. It was like a villain monologue. Why did you wait so long to bring it up? I was going to break up with you because I was going to pretend that you were a gold dick. Yeah. It's weird. What in the world? It's very blatant. It's very odd in that way. But I have heard, like, when people have affairs, it leads to this weird thing where the person who's cheating builds resentment for their partner that they're cheating on.

1:00:45I don't remember the exact logistics of it. Well, because, yeah, if you continue to get away with it, like, you are sitting with those feelings, right? And, like, it's, it's, yeah, like, and they're projecting that. It just messes you up, right? It just messes you up. And so he got to a point where he was just, like, oh, my God, like, he views her as a burden, sadly. Oh, my God, I think it's one of those things where, like, I, I've sometimes seen instances or been in instances where people get upset at you for, like, wanting to be nice, kind of. or like being chill with it. I think that's where it's coming from when he's like, you took so long to bring it up.

1:01:22And every day, there's like this crazy voice in the back of his mind where he's like, oh, look at her being all nice. No, literally. People tell me kooky things like that. I'm like, therapy, please. I think that person is genuinely just trying to like not be problematic, go about their day. I'm like, oh, they think they're so good. Being nice. 100%. It's so tragic with those types of situations. It sounds like she really loved him. Yeah. She cared about him, and here he is. She didn't even want to bring it up until she got other people's opinions and was like, am I being crazy? Yeah, it's interesting.

1:01:57He sounds explosive, so maybe she's checking, like, hey, should I poke the bear? Oh, I see. I don't know. I see. That makes sense then. Yeah, but it sounds like she, it sounds done, obviously. That took a turn I could have never. Yeah, bullet dodged, but also she kind of was in the thick of it. Like an affair happened and she's just like, okay, I'm out. Like, thank goodness, yeah, the timing of it all, but. I'm at least glad she knows, like one, totally not her fault. Two, she has nothing to be ashamed of. And three, in a way, it's better it ended here and now than actually getting married. Totally.

1:02:34But also like so evil of him to drag her through the excitement of getting engaged to then get her a bad ring to then end things while having a friend. That's insane. Yeah, but he wanted the story. He wanted to be the victim. Yeah, he's like, because my family loves you, but I don't. Yeah. To go that far for it? Holy. People do it up. Maybe when is it these rich people with the villain arc? Like, he's so rich. And then he, like, it reminds me of the Guardians of the Galaxy 2 movie where the, like, the monologue takes that really dark turn. And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. The, like, the weird zoom out, zoom in thing.

1:03:10Yeah. Scary. They think they're the main character. Yeah. I need to make myself the best. Hey, Shane from a future Reddit Stories here. Before we wrap up, I have a fun update for y 'all. Some of you may know this, but Smosh Reads Reddit Stories has been nominated for a 2025 Signal Listener's Choice Awards for Best Comedy Podcast, which is just such a cool honor for us. It's seriously insane that we got nominated for this. I can't remember the last time Smosh as a whole was nominated for an award of any kind. So it means a lot to us as is. But if you want to go vote, please go do it. It means a lot to me.

1:03:48But I think more so, this is huge for this team who puts in so much effort. Reddit Stories, I think, is a lot more work behind the scenes than it is for us here on the chair and the couch. People are working hours on end sourcing these stories, making sure we're not repeating stories, making sure we're finding juicy stories. They're helping me so much Really, so this award would be for them For Emily Bailey For Kiana, who started this project forever ago For the crew who's filming it For everyone, it would be really for them So if you want to go vote And do this for them, please do Head to SignalAward.com Public voting ends next Thursday, October 9th Thanks again for watching and supporting the show And now back to Other Shane Our final story Am I the asshole for wearing a tight dress despite my friend asking me not to.

1:04:38I saw a TikTok about this, I think. Ooh. Yeah. Okay. I, 20-year-old woman, and my friends, both 22-year-old women, are currently on vacation. For the sake of the story, I will call them L and K. L, K, and I all decided that while we are on vacation, we would go clubbing as much as possible. All my friends know that I have a feminine sense of style. My entire wardrobe consists of pink, miniskirts, dresses, heels, and lots of jewelry. Not once has this ever seemingly been a problem with my friends. At least if there was, nothing was mentioned directly to me. When you go clubbing, most people tend to wear tight outfits, so my suitcase was packed with several outfits meant for clubbing.

1:05:17Last night, after spending our day by the pool, I started Googling clubs near us and broached the topic of starting our first night partying. All seemed excited, so we all headed up to our room to start getting ready. I was just about done with my makeup and hair when I grabbed the dress I was planning on wearing, and suddenly the mood felt extremely sour. For sake of full clarity, it's a very short pink leather dress. Kay spoke up and mentioned that I should probably pick another outfit. I asked her why, and she said, since we are all going together, none of us should try to outdo each other.

1:05:48I explained that I'm not trying to outdo anyone and just like my dress. Elle sided with her, saying that I was clearly trying to one-up them and was acting like a pick-me. I told them I'm wearing the dress no matter what, and I was sure they would look just as, if not more, beautiful than me in their outfits. They barely talked to me for the remainder of getting ready and split up from me the moment the Uber dropped us off. It's Tuesday, and they are still being cold slash short with me. I kind of want to go home, but I'm curious if I'm being an overdramatic asshole. Am I the asshole? Nor. Nor.

1:06:26What the heck? Get less insecure friends. Or get more secure friends. Yes, yes, yes. Less insecure, more secure. That is so strange. So, like, what is the, like, do you guys have a game plan of, like, okay, so we're all going to just dress mid, right? Let's dress really mid. Guys, max 7.5 out of 10. Anything. Come on. Nothing over a three-inch heel or lower than a one-inch heel. Also, you're going to the club, you know? It's not like you guys all decided to maybe go to something more chill and someone is just like dressed to the nines But even then to be honest as a girl like I love when my girls dress I'll be in sweatpants like yes Right I I'm sad to hear that yeah That's a tough thing that's the club I know like yeah the club is specifically the place where I'm like yeah people go for it.

1:07:21Outdo each other? I'm like, who are we trying to impress? What? Oh, you guys are dressing for men? And why are we comparing? Yeah. What? What? Are we trying to outdo each other for men at the club? Please. They don't even, they're not even allowed in there anymore, I bet. I bet they're not even there anymore. They're not even there. At first, I was like, Honey, those are not your friends. Yeah, I was like, maybe they're gently trying to let her know that maybe her coochie's out and not in a fun way. If your friend's coochie is out, then you say, like, your coochie's out. Like, oh, my God, coochie out.

1:07:53Yeah. She's like, I know. That's the plan. Yeah. But, yeah. No, I feel like they said that even before she put the outfit on. Right. Like, maybe not that one. Like, what the heck? That doesn't help. Comments. Not the asshole. It's normal to want to look good when you go out clubbing, and dressing up and doing your makeup has nothing to do with trying to one-up other people. If your friends have a problem with you wearing flattering outfits to the club with them They have their own insecurities to sort out Someone said not the asshole But it's pretty obvious that this is an ongoing issue with them And whatever else there may be going on They sure did pick a shitty time to lay it all out You want to fix it Then you all need a good heart-to-heart talk Lastly, someone said not the asshole Yikes, your friends left you alone somewhere Where you are a visitor because they didn't like your dress You can wear what you want True friends lift each other up They don't abandon you because of their own insecurities They're like in a town that they're not familiar with, right?

1:08:49Not only was that mean or like stemming from a place of insecurity, it was flat out unsafe. Super unsafe. To just leave your friend? That's crazy. It's very sad. I hear stories of people having friends that compare each other a lot. And I'm like, man, that is so hard to like survive. Like a friendship cannot survive comparison like that. You got to grow out of that. I agree. Unfortunately, I find it's relatively common. and I think one of the reasons why, I'm sure they've experienced maybe instances where they all go to the club and maybe if one of the girls is dressed nicer or looks much prettier, maybe all the guys give her more attention but then that makes the girls, you know, like it stems some sort of jealousy towards them but it has nothing to do with that.

1:09:35And you also shouldn't treat your friends based off of how guys treat you guys. Because it's just like the internalized misogyny is kind of full circle. We've been trained to compare ourselves because we've been getting compared. Exactly. But as soon as you do that, you're just letting that comparison get in between the friendship, which is just not worth it. Right. Yeah. They're 20 and 22. It's one of those things, like, I recall that happening a lot. Like, you've got to grow out of it or else you're just going to end up kind of with no friends. because things are going to happen throughout your life where your friends are going to have good things happen to them.

1:10:11They're going to have things where they're doing better than you. They're just going to be a little pink. Or like whatever. And it's just like, oh, that's your unique. It's their moment to shine and that's okay. But you want to lift up your friends. You want everything to go right for your friends. I remember this happened a lot with, especially when I was like a teenager in early 20s of like, we were all actor kids. So there was the aspect of like, you would have your friend group, but then one of your friends would be like, I'm now a lead on a TV show. And it's like, oh, that's really hard to not compare because we're all trying to make it in this acting industry.

1:10:40And now you're a successful actor and I'm still a working actor. But then it's like, wait, but you're your own person on your own journey. And I've got my own thing. But it's hard. It's a hard thing to get over. But I wish these friends would be like, wait, why are we doing this? Why are we saying this? It's stupid. Like there's not like this limited amount of space that can be taken up by each person. Like you guys can all be as authentically you and take up as much space as you want as yourself. There's bloody square footage in the club for everybody to bear a tight another dress. Yeah, I feel like if someone's struggling with that kind of mentality, they're thinking that just like life is a zero-sum game.

1:11:16If they win, I have to lose. But that's not true. Maybe at the club, someone's going to find your friend cute and someone's going to find you cute. Absolutely. Cuter like everyone has their own taste. But it is so hard with friendships. There is maybe a chance. If she brings it up and the friends recognize that what they did wasn't right or was coming from a place of insecurity, maybe the friendship is salvageable, but they should not be treating you that way. We're going to see because we have an update. Period. Finale update. Let's go. I am seriously considering going home. I got up this morning, and when I went to get dressed after my shower, I found that several of my clothes had been vandalized.

1:11:56Two of my tops had been torn. A skirt of mine is completely butchered. A couple of my dresses look like they went through a wood chipper, and a pair of my heels has toothpaste squirted into the base. Both of them are denying they did it. Honestly, I— Wait, there's only three of them? Wait, hold on. I don't know why I pictured, like, six girls. There's only two friends. There was a burglar. They're like, who did this? Oh, my God. She's holding toothpaste. Honestly, I am just beyond crushed that they did this to my clothing and don't even have the nerve to admit it. It genuinely makes me want to cry.

1:12:27Aw. Update number two. Whoa. Well, it's been some time since my original post, so I thought it would be a good time to update after I gave myself time to process. I want to start with the statement that I am no longer friends with either L or K. Probably smart. Understandable. After reading the comments under my original post, I realized how crappy what they did was and that it put me in danger. The night after they vandalized my stuff, we went out to breakfast, and I let them know that since I am the only person whose name is checked in on the hotel and my boyfriend paid for it, they both had five hours to pack and find another place to stay or they could talk it out with me and pay for the clothes slash shoes that they damaged.

1:13:03This was not met kindly, and both of them started cursing me out and telling me I was a selfish, conniving, snake-ass bitch.

1:13:15I told them that it was their choice to destroy my clothes, and all I wanted to do was talk it out with them and figure out why this had happened in the first place. I didn't get a straight answer other than I'm a selfish pick-me who doesn't deserve anything I have. So I took it as them giving me my answer. Luckily, they were not difficult besides some passive-aggressive comments. I enjoyed the rest of my vacation as best I could, given that I was alone. Luckily, a lot of the local women were extremely kind and chatted with me wherever I was, so it didn't feel as bad. I've been home for a little less than a week and have received several nasty text messages from both L and K, plus some mutual friends.

1:13:49I've spent most of this week trying to come to terms with the fact that I am losing several friendships over this. Thanks for all the help, though. the comments really gave me solid advice and the guts to actually stick up for myself in this situation. Also, I forgot to mention this, but to the one person under my original post who said they would try to sleep with my boyfriend, they did. Huh? Wait, wait, wait. Okay, side quest. I forgot to mention this, but to the one person, there was once again a Redditor who was like, I know what's going on here. And they were right. And they were right. To the one person under my original post who said they would try to sleep with my boyfriend.

1:14:24They did. So to Ellen Kay. Ellen Kay tried to sleep with her boyfriend. The day after we got home, my boyfriend showed me a text Kay sent him. Basically, it was a lengthy text message about how I'm only with him because he has money and they should meet up for coffee so she could show him he deserves better. Ooh wee. What a mess. Ooh. Diabolical. No. Wow. The epitome of die ball. Yes. I can't even believe it, but it must be really hard for her to go through losing so many friendships at once. Like, that must be so hurtful, but oh my God, are you better off. Oh, yes. You're gonna be so much better off.

1:15:05Honey, those girls were not your friends. No. No, they called you a pick-me, said the pick-me's. Like, they left you, like, physically unsafe. They hurt your feelings. They compare themselves to you. Destroyed your property. They're calling you a pick-me. I don't love that term, but if anyone's being the pick me respectfully, they were even telling your boyfriend to pick them. Yes, like, why did you do that? And I get it, they're probably coming from a place where they are scared that they won't get picked, but if they can't be cognizant of that and can't, you know, move beyond that, you're really better off without them in your life.

1:15:40Yeah. No, this is very much a 20-year-old arc, right? Like, we all, like... Yeah, but they're pushing it. Yeah. They're pushing the... This is giving, like, girls camp behavior. Oh, totally. Like, summer camp, like, bullying that one. But, like, mean, mean, mean girl. Yes. Mean girls. Yeah. No, it's like, it's a scary thing. And, like, we're all insecure about many things. But you see people who are listening to their insecurities. And they're letting their insecurities lead them to their decisions. And that's scary. It leads people to do, like, dangerous things or just horrible things. And that's what happened.

1:16:16Yeah, being insecure or feeling jealous, even when it comes to friendships or like your actor friend who made it or whatever. I think that all those things are so human and natural and everyone's going to experience them. But it's about whether or not you're acting on those feelings and hurting other people as a consequence of it. And also not even like owning up to it. They're just like tripling down. Yeah, they, no, they, they, they double down. Then they're like, that wasn't me. And then they tripled down and cursed her out like at breakfast. And then quadruple down, they're texting the boyfriend.

1:16:47Yeah. Crazy. Crazy. Holy smokes, what a combo. Well, yeah. Truly. God dang. That's it. That's all our stories. That was insane. Yeah. But so fun. Yeah. It's nice because I, again, I don't want any drama in my life. So this, like, gives me the fix. I love this. You must come back whenever you want because you bring such wonderful perspective. Thank you. I love it. I mean, you guys are experts. so I'm sure to chime in. Oh, I'm not an expert at anything. I'm just some guy. He's just an expert at reading. He's got to have his 10 ,000 hours by now. I'm working on my 10 ,000 hours in reading. I am working on that.

1:17:26I'm making my way there. But thank you so much for being here. This was a blast. This was so cool. This was so cool. I'd love to come back anytime you guys want. You're welcome anytime. Please do. Is there anything you're doing that you want to shout out? I do a podcast with my lovely friend. We have a super mini version of this. We call it Solace, like slice of life and advice, where we also answer people's advice or life dilemmas. The podcast is Sweet and Sour with my friend Lily Pichu. Thank you guys so much. Thank you, Smosh. Thank you, you two. You guys are amazing. And really, if you ever need a guess, hit my line.

1:18:02Okay. 100%. Hit my love. You got it. Well, thank you all for watching. We'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye. See you later. Thank you.