Roommates From HELL | Reading Reddit Stories

24:42This is the absolute craziest part. Just now, while I was showering, Cass went into my room where Will is, in her underwear and a bathrobe, saying she knows he's playing hard to get, but that he can't resist her. Barf. Will started yelling at her to get the fuck out, which alerted my roommates and I. Eva and Jen dragged a tearful Cass out of my room. She even called me a skinny bitch on her way out. What? I think they're going to drop her off at a friend's house tonight. I'm just fucking floored. I really did not expect her to go nuclear like this, but goddamn. Oh. Oh my God. Yeah. I really was about to just be like, okay, like, it's really unfortunate.

25:28Like, because it is just like a sad situation for Cass, right? Like, at first I feel like I kind of am giving her empathy because I'm like, that is a really tough situation if you are really crushing on this guy who you're like, oh my God, he's so perfect. And you're envious of your roommate having this experience. But she completely has crossed the line and done everything possible to be inappropriate. And that's where it's like, girl, we really can't make excuses for you. She's crossed a million lines. I mean, the level of delusion too, of like picking a horror movie to want to watch with him.

26:02I can't watch Sinister 2 alone. Right. She's like, oh my God, I'm gonna make my move. Like, oh my God, he wants me too. I'm gonna seduce him and this is gonna be the perfect plan. And it's just like, no. Yeah, and like, look, there's, you can't help who you crush on. Like, she has a crush on someone who's taken, but you can choose your actions and go, oh, well, I shouldn't do anything about it. Yes, I should be out of the house maybe when Will comes. But she is just absolutely crossing every boundary. There was also a thing that she did that's a big red flag to me, and she's a where's my hug person.

26:36I don't like those people. No, where's my hug at, Greer? Where's my hug? I don't like it. No, no. And that's just cringy and weird. And the other roommate had to be like, it's right here. Man, that is bold to walk into the room in underwear and a bathrobe and go, hey, look. We can't deny this, Ted. To be honest, I'm sorry, but it is kind of also hilarious. Oh, it's hilarious as hell. But she's like, you're obsessed with me. And then she's like, yes, skinny bitch. crashes out immediately. That's insane. Look, you can't deny this. And he's like, please get out. And she just goes, ah! Well, your girlfriend's a skinny bitch.

27:21And I love the way you take out the trash. Like, what is happening? That's so sad. Update number two. Fuck yes, fuck yes, she moved. She moved. Cass is out. Everybody moved. I talked with my roommates, and Jen called Cass' mom. As pissed as I am, I'm obviously very concerned for Cass, as even though she wasn't the most pleasant person before, none of us could have expected her absolutely unhinged behavior. Cass has gone back home with her parents now. I have it pried, so I don't know exactly what their plans are now or how she's doing, but it seems like she'll be far away for a while, as her parents came back to pick up almost all of her belongings.

27:56They'll continue to pay her share of the rent and even left some apology pastries, which was very nice of them. As awful as that experience was for Will and I, we ultimately decided not to file any kind of complaint or restraining order for the time being, as her parents seemed to have the situation under control, and we didn't want to drag the issue out longer than it needed to be. I hope this is the final update. Thanks for following my story. Wow. Okay, now I really feel bad for making fun of her. Why? I feel like she wasn't well. I just think it's a little sad. That makes me sad. It is sad.

28:26Yeah. But she's... But it's probably for the best. Yeah, and she's fortunate that she has parents who can pay the rest of her rent and kind of write the situation. It seems like at least she has some support in that way. Feels like maybe she just got ahead of herself and then just got a little, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I feel like sometimes, I forget how long it had been since she had gotten broken up with or whatever situation she was in, but maybe it could have been that she was seeing the situation completely differently and she was kind of going down that path and being like, oh, this is the truth and this is how I'm seeing it.

29:04And she really is like, he wants me and we are supposed to be together. And so we're sort of shaping that narrative. But obviously everyone on the outside was like, no, this is what's happening in our reality and it's not okay. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, that's hard. But it's good for OP and her boyfriend. And it's good they didn't have to like get legal with it. It didn't have to get too bad. I mean, all it took was the boyfriend saying, please get out, like, I do not want to be with you. And now they know that they're faithful to each other. Yeah, I mean, hey, it was quite a test. And also her parents seem really understanding, because a lot of people will have to leave a living situation for health reasons really quickly, and then those roommates are down and out without a payment.

29:49And it feels like they're still handling it. Exactly, yeah. So it worked out there. It did. Dang, that was wild. That was wild. Yeah, I want to see Will. Back to more fridge stuff. Yeah. Our next one. Freezers. Am I the asshole for finding out I've been unknowingly paying rent to my husband and his mom for two years? What? All right. Why is the mom in there? I, a 31-year-old woman, have been married to Brian, 33-year-old man, for two years. Right after the wedding, we moved into an apartment he said was a great deal from a family friend. We agreed to split rent and utilities 50-50 to keep things equal since we were starting fresh and wanted to avoid money fights.

30:32So I've been sending him$700 a month just for the rent this whole time. Three days ago at a barbecue, I overheard his mom talking about how it's nice getting rent from Brian's place and how smart they were to keep it in the family. Turns out his mom owns the apartment and Brian's on the deed too. I had no idea. He never told me. Just let me keep paying rent for two years like a clueless roommate. When I confronted him, he said I never asked, and that I'm overreacting because we weren't overpaying. But I feel completely blindsided. It's not just the money, it's the secrecy. Yes. I told him I won't keep paying until we talk about a fair setup.

31:09Now he's acting like I'm the problem. What the hell? The mom and Brian own the apartment. Yeah, but she's paying the monthly. But she's paying them rent. Or she's paying them, yeah, the mortgage. She's paying the mortgage. No, or is she paying the mortgage? Or is it just like the place is already paid off? We don't even know. Right. They could have it paid off, and she's just giving them money. They're just making money off of the place as he's living in it. This is her husband. Oh, this is a massive red flag. No, incredibly messy. Holy crap. Like, sorry, wait, that's your money combined that you're taking.

31:47What? And they never told her she's overheard it? He's basically stealing from his wife. Literally. he's doing. And the fact that he's turning around being like, you're overreacting that I didn't tell you where your money is going. You didn't ask. Oh, I'm so sorry that I didn't say. Wait, are you on the deed? That was a question that you were just supposed to come up with? If your husband or wife buys property and doesn't tell you, like, what kind of marriage is that? That's terrible. And then you are financially involved but you don't know? You are liable for that property. And you don't fucking know?

32:20For two years. Yeah. No, this is where I talk about where I'm like, this is cheating to me. Like, this is in the same realm of cheating where it's like such disrespect of not telling your partner something and making huge decisions, having huge things going on, not involving them. Which is just like, why are you married then? Like, why would you marry somebody who you want to exploit like that? That kind of response, too. The response is almost always worse than the action itself. Yeah, true. When people get called out for the thing and being like, well, you didn't ask. It's like, dude, fuck you.

32:53It's like you're cheating on me. Well, you didn't ask if I was seeing somebody else. You piece of shit. I don't think you want a wife. I think you want a sub letter. Verdict was not the asshole. Comments, it's not even that you didn't ask. He said it was a family friend. It wasn't. It was him. Someone said, and I bet she's the only one paying rent. OP replied, yeah, he's never shown me his half of the rent going anywhere. starting to think I was the only one paying anything. That's like so, what an awful feeling to feel like you're the only one paying. Someone said, not the asshole, but girl, I'd be drafting divorce papers in a Lisa Frank notebook because this is giving financial betrayal and mama's boy energy.

33:33Like imagine being married, paying rent, and finding out you're the tenant in your own damn marriage. This man let you roommate his investment property without telling you? That's not just shady, that's premeditated. You didn't marry a husband. You married a landlord with benefits. Lastly, someone said... We should get her on the show, that comment. Like that. That was good. Bring her on. Damn. Someone said, as far as I can tell, she can claim she's been paying for maintenance on the home this whole time. So that entitles her to equity in the home. They're married, and since she's been paying this money, she can demonstrate that it's a shared marital asset.

34:07She should get a lawyer and get her half of the house. A hundred percent. that if she's paying this mortgage, she is involved in this house and it's not just the mother anymore. That's crazy. And it is total boy mom energy to just like be making this kind of partnership and deal with your mom when you are married. The hell, bro. And like not letting your partner in on it. It's just like, like it just confuses me. She found out via the mom saying stuff too. At a barbecue? Yeah. Like what were they serving? What were they serving? I need to know. It's a very deliberate plan. This was evil. Yeah.

34:46That's bad. I hate that. I hate him. I feel so bad for him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. Brian. There's no update on that. It was very recent, so sorry. It's because they're in a courtroom. Hopefully. I hope so. They're too busy to update. Yeah. Next story. Comes from Am I the Asshole. Am I the asshole for telling my best friend she can't do her adult content at my house. Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo. We need to watch this content. My best friend was recently kicked out of where she was living and asked if she could stay with me in this emergency situation as she had nowhere else to go right now.

35:23I instantly said yes. We moved all her furniture and bigger things into a storage unit and she brought a few suitcases to my place. I'll be honest, at the time, I really wasn't thinking about her work situation. I knew her job was OnlyFans. That's what she did for a living. That's how she made her money. and I've never judged her for that. However, the following day after she moved in, I took my daughter to school and came home to do my own work. I work from home. She wandered into my kitchen at like 12 p.m. and told me she had some videos she needed to make. I instantly knew what she meant by that and I said, well, I mean, are you going to be quiet during these videos?

35:56She laughed and said, no, but you're my best friend so I don't mind if you hear me. To which I responded with, I mind if I hear you. I'm not gonna lie. I don't feel comfortable with you making those videos in my house. You can take your pics and stuff, though. Granted, you don't do it while my daughter is home. She got a little snippy and upset with me and told me that making custom request videos was how she made the majority of her money, and she had a bunch of requests that she needed to do. I told her again that I don't feel comfortable with that specifically. She told me to wear headphones.

36:26I said, I do wear headphones because I have pretty much constant work calls throughout my day, and I can't have you moaning and screaming in the background. I ended up saying, if you can be quiet, then you can while I'm here working. And again, as long as you're not doing it when my daughter is home, she told me she won't be able to be quiet because that's not what they her clients want. So I told her, I'm sorry, girl. No, I can't have that. She's now a little pissed off at me because I'm basically stopping her from making decent coin while she'll be staying with me until she finds a new place and that she has nowhere else to go to do it.

36:58I feel bad, but I think my feelings and reasons are justified. Am I the asshole?

37:06I think it's her home like that seems like a very reasonable request like that's tough like she's already doing so much for this friend totally like it's like hey like I clearly very quickly was willing to like shelter you in this time of need but like no I don't feel comfortable with this totally that's tough that's a tough thing it would maybe be a tad more nuanced but there's a kid involved as well. Yeah. Which I think is where it becomes a little more defined for me. Yeah. And it didn't seem like she was putting too much thought into that, you know? It seemed like she was like, OP seems like there's a little bit of compromise.

37:47She's saying like, if you can be quiet, you can take your pictures, you can do this. But she's not really being like, okay, well, can we come up with a schedule? Yeah. You know? The OP's not even like judging her. Right. The OP's just saying, hey, like, I don't judge you for what you do. I just don't feel comfortable with that going on in my home. It's like, okay, like cool, you know? Yeah. That's just, it's just unfortunate for her friend because that's her job. Right, so she needs some place to do it. But then it's also like another, like her job is being also a mother and your kid's in the house.

38:21You know what I mean? Like that's like a, that's a job that takes over your house too and like, and that is, if she doesn't want her kid near that, I think she's allowed To me, the motherhood of it all kind of trumps it all. It's really tricky. It is. I wonder how long she's gonna be at this house. I feel like the most accommodating you could do is be like, my daughter and I will be out of the house from this hour to this hour, you can do it then. But you can't do it when we're home. I feel like that's reasonable. I'm also confused too, because it's like, if she's saying, in her words, she's making decent coin, there has to be some other place that she could also invest some of that money in order to have a private space to do that to have the best performance possible and make more money, no?

39:07Yeah, I mean, I don't know. We don't know how much money she has or anything because my head went to, like, can you not go rent a hotel room or something to do this in? Are you making enough money that that's possible? Yeah, use the storage unit. It's also like how long she's at their place because if it's like, hey, if we're talking like a week or two, it's like, hey, I'm sorry, like for this two weeks, this is the situation. Yeah. If it's months, it's like, then this is not going to work out. Totally. She's also, she's not gone. Like she's on work calls. So like she is talking to people on her laptop probably.

39:42Like that's not comfortable to have going on. Totally, yeah. If that gets overheard, like what do you do? Right, because then that affects her job. Yeah. And it's that kind of like understanding that I just don't think they are both having together right now. No, no. It's just ultimately it's her place. Like, it's her rules. Yeah. The verdict was not the asshole. Comments, not the asshole. She needed help and you were helping her. She's disrespecting your house rules. If she really makes so much coin doing it, she can easily get a hotel room. Someone else said she needs to check into a cheap motel and do her content.

40:15She can afford it. OP said she can definitely afford it. Yeah. I'm sure there's things she can do, but she's being a little snippy with me and doesn't understand why I care. If she can afford a hotel room or a motel room, then it's like, dude, do that. Then you get to go and do it and not worry about the person that you're living with. I feel like that also just subtracts points that she's being snippy about it. It's just kind of like, yeah, this person has housed you and taken you in. There has to be some sort of understanding of like, I totally understand. I'm not gonna try to be in your hair.

40:48But instead, it seems like she's almost taking advantage of that generosity. Yeah. Someone else said, if she has money and a job, why couldn't she find a hotel to stay in? OP says she claims she won't be able to do her videos in a hotel room because she'll probably get complaints. She said she didn't think I'd care. Okay. So you'd get complaints in a hotel, but not. Yeah. So it's like she's talking about being very loud. Yeah. Like if it's so loud that you're going to get complaints in a hotel, I mean, this is extreme. Yeah. It's like then where do you go? I'm really going back to the storage unit.

41:24I'm like, nobody's in there. Yeah, you're really, yeah. Guys, use code Arasha in your storage unit. For the storage unit, not for the OnlyFans. Oh, yeah. Just clear that. I just keep going back to how great storage units are and how we're underutilized. Yes. Update, small little update. Oh, she's gone. She finally listened and has booked a hotel room for the night just so she can go and get these requests that she has built up done. She's let her subs and clients know that she's not going to be taking requests until she's settled in a new place She's also just told me that she thinks she found a new place to rent and she's now starting the process of that problem solved Done deal done deal.

42:05Yeah, great. Yeah, there you go There you go, and there's no links or anything No I'm sorry dude just want to know you know for sure anybody hot Okay, our next story. This comes from Two Hot Takes. Shout out to Morgan over at Two Hot Takes. Love, Morgan. I think my roommate may be poisoning me. It's back to the cheese. I am a 25-year-old woman, and I live in Seattle. I just moved here a few months ago from New York City because of my dream job, and I was so excited. I work as a data analyst, and I make a very comfortable living. It felt like my life was finally all starting to fall into place.

42:46The only thing I needed was a place to live. I looked to Facebook because I figured that might be the best place to find a roommate. I found this girl, let's call her Kate, 26-year-old woman, and she seemed perfect. She said that she and her boyfriend, 29-year-old man, were in a two-bedroom apartment that was very spacious in a great location and were looking for someone to rent the room. She said she was a 7th grade English teacher and her boyfriend was a physical therapist. All her interests and hobbies seemed to align perfectly with mine, so I agreed to live with them. I moved in one month after initially finding each other, and everything started off great.

43:18Kate and I were friendly and had good conversations when we would interact. One day, however, I got home, and she seemed to be in a very bad mood. I asked her about it, and she ignored me and walked into her room. I didn't think anything of it, but then I received a text from her that read, I know you want to fuck my boyfriend. And that's all she wrote. And that's all she wrote? That's all she wrote. I was very confused because that was completely untrue. I have been cheated on in the past and know how devastating it is, so I would never want to inflict that pain onto someone else. There were more texts exchanged, and everything seemed to be good, but when I saw her in person, she continued to act weird, but I brushed it off.

43:55The next day, however, she began to act very nice and sweet, even offering me a smoothie because she knew I was too busy in the mornings to make breakfast. I accepted and went about my day. The smoothies continued every morning, and I just thought she was being nice. Now I'm experiencing some symptoms and I'm a bit scared. My hair has started to fall out and my hormones have been all over the place. I have developed some weird stomach issues and I get headaches all the time now. This is all new to me. It may be that the move and all this change is affecting my health, but it does seem to have started around when the smoothies did.

44:26I don't know how to catch her and see if I'm right, and I don't want to seem rude and stop accepting the smoothies if I'm wrong. I don't know what to do. I need some advice. This is literally an episode of Make It or Break It. They literally, she poisons her with smoothies. Don't have the smoothies, go to Jumbo's. Oh no. Did someone write out just an episode for Make It or Break It? No, because they were gymnasts. Oh, okay. No, because they were gymnasts. But this is where they got the idea. And these are roommates. No, they were roommates. They were roommates. Bro, stop drinking the smoothies.

44:57Just stop drinking the smoothies. Just do something else. You take the smoothie, you go outside, you dump it out. I think the roommates, I think the smoothies are poison, but I don't want to be rude. I can't criticize her. I'm like, that's also me. That would be me. No, you take the smoothie and then you go to a poison tester and you say, what is the content in here? I've seen the top comment says that. Top comment says, please see a doctor ASAP. Take the smoothie with you. Or go to the hospital. Again, take the smoothie with you. Please do this now, not later. In all seriousness, the hair loss is concerning.

45:30Hair loss accompanied by other symptoms you're describing all point to heavy metal poisoning. I'd rather read an update from you than hear about you on one of my true crime podcasts. Oh, my God. All because she just wants to fuck her boyfriend? Dude. She's like, all because I walked in on him in my underwear and bathroom and said, hey. This is out of control. That is insane. OP responded to that saying, wow, I didn't realize that they would be able to test it at the hospital. That is 100 % what I will do. I also do not want to be on a true crime podcast. Thank you very much. This is beyond helpful for me.

46:02Holy shit, bro. Update, update, update. I'm going back. I'm just, because we didn't talk much about it after. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, you're right. Patience, patience. This is scary. She doesn't know these people that well. She, like, went in. Suddenly one day it's just, like, just leaves texts. I know you want to fuck my boyfriend. Yeah. Like, ooh. We're seeing the flip of the other one where it was obvious that the roommate did want to fuck the boyfriend. Yeah. Now you have this suspicious element. This is the other POV. And now it's, like, suddenly smoothies, but, like, hair falling out.

46:32Yeah. Yeah, this is what people read and hear about and then they're like, okay, I'm not doing the random roommate route anymore. This is what makes people not want to interact with strangers. Maybe I won't look on Facebook Marketplace. Right, but also there's so many success stories and you have normal people, but then you have situations like this. Side note, never really realized that the word movie is in smoothie. No, it's not. No, it's not. Smoothie is movie. Smoothie with an M. No. O-I-V-E. They're literally so different. You think a smoothie is spelled S-M-O-V-I-E? No, no, no. I just think the word smoothie is in...

47:12I think the word movie is in smoothie. But it's not. But it's literally not. There's an M and there's an O, and that's about it. I like how we've read some unhinged stories, but the comments are all gonna be about this now. They're gonna be like, I see it. No, Angela's right. There was a duck there. And movie is smoothie. What? Sorry, it's been a long day. Yeah. But I'm going to focus now. A special day today. We have filmed eight videos today. Yeah. Okay, another comment said, in addition to what everyone else has said about getting the smoothie and your blood tested, I would also suggest that you keep accepting the smoothies to go and then dump them in the trash once you're away from the house.

47:55If she's crazy enough to try to poison you like this, you don't want to tip her off that you're on to her. Who knows what else she might try instead. Also, even if the smoothie and your blood tests come back normal, I would still continue accepting the smoothies to go and dumping them just in case. If nothing else, this will at least help you identify if they are the cause of your symptoms, whether from poisoning or something else or not. Lastly, someone said, I'd do a hidden camera in the kitchen where she's making the smoothies. I think getting them tested, like, if these smoothies have heavy metal poisoning in them.

48:24The healthcare workers will do. Yeah. This is wild. These shiny silver smoothies. that she's getting. Oh my gosh. Okay, but also, at the same time, start packing, right? Like, she should be on her way out anyway. Yeah. I feel like, regardless of the poisoning, the text. I'd be getting out. I'd be getting out. Oh, yeah. That text happens, I'm like, I'm gonna find new roommates. Yeah. Yeah, you're right, you're right. Which is so interesting, too. Like, that's a whole element on its own that I feel like we can touch on is like, roommates, yes, but also like, living with a couple. Oof. I feel like so many people have those experiences.

49:00And look, I also, I have a lot of feelings. I know she's probably in a tough situation. Moving sucks. Yeah. It's expensive. And it's also like, we don't know her financial situation. But in this situation, you think your life is on the line. You think this person, let's be clear, you think this person might be trying to kill you. That's a situation where I'm like, you need to get out. Yeah. Get out for your own life. Get out. And sometimes in those scenarios, you're like, that couldn't be happening, could it? Sure, it sounds insane. And that is why I am weirdly grateful for Reddit, because sometimes people will say something like, this is just a little insane, or is it?

49:34And then everyone's like, go to the hospital, check it out. Yeah. Look, at least remove the possibility. Here's the thing. It sounds unreal, because it is in normal day-to-day life, but at the end of the day, people do poison other people. It does happen. Is it rare? Yeah. But can it happen? Yeah. Yes. So you can't just say, oh, well, this only happens in true crime podcasts. Those true crime podcasts get their content from somewhere. Well, I also feel like it's quite rare already that this roommate has texted you something so abrupt. That is a full-on declaration of war. Yeah. Like that, and I feel like, again, maybe it isn't super, it's not as rare as somebody trying to poison you.

50:19But if it's going down that way, I don't think it is insane to draw the link between somebody saying this crazy accusation and then them trying to do something to hurt you. Update. What do we think happened? I think there was something in this movie. Oh my fucking God! Hair loss? There had to have been. Thank you to all that have expressed concerns for me and my safety. I really appreciate all the advice I received as well. I want to keep this brief as this experience has been traumatic. I took the advice to go to the hospital and did just that I went to the hospital the day after posting and brought along the smoothie They told me that they were unable to test the smoothie at this time But they did give me a blood test as everything would still show up there This would also indicate what is happening in my body and why I might be experiencing these symptoms To make a long story short, it turns out my roommate was adding some sort of creatine or protein powder Into the smoothies because she wanted me to bulk up so I was no longer seen as desirable to her boyfriend I told her about what happened at the hospital, and she told me everything.

51:21That is what was causing my headaches, stomach issues, and potentially the hair loss because I'm apparently allergic to it. So technically she was not poisoning me, just trying to make me bulky. So she just tried to make her buff. Awesome. This, however, is not the traumatic part. While the doctors were giving me all the blood tests, they found that I have leukemia. This news has been hard for me to deal with now because of my new circumstances. I will be moving back home to be around family as I go through treatment. No, this was not at all how I expected this to turn out, but maybe in a way it's a good thing.

51:54I'm not really sure, but I know I'm going to be okay in the end. Thank you to everyone again for the support and concern for my well-being.

52:05Holy shit. Yeah. I'm hoping based on her comment, but maybe in a way it's a good thing. I'm not really sure, but I know I'm going to be okay in the end. And hopefully that it got caught early on. I don't know. I'm not a doctor. I don't know much about leukemia. I know it's awful. Cancer is terrible. Is that what the hair loss, all those symptoms were? She's saying all the symptoms. So this is actually a flip and this is wild. It sounds like most of her symptoms came from the allergy. Yeah. But she went and got her blood test because of what this allergy in the smoothie was doing to her. And then it turns out she had leukemia.

52:40Right. that didn't have any symptoms as far as I'm understanding from the story. So this was actually all unbelievably lucky. That she went to the hospital at that time. That she got her blood tested when she wouldn't otherwise. Which is so wild to think about. I don't know much about cancer, but I do know that it can really go undetected for a long time. It doesn't necessarily cause symptoms. It takes a long time for people in our healthcare system to get their blood tested. Like, you need, like, it takes a lot. So, like, her saying, like, I think I have metal, or OP saying that I think I have metal poisoning is, like, okay, let's test your blood.

53:20Yeah. Like, for sure. So if this hadn't have happened, like, she would not have known. Symptoms of other things. That, it's wild. My heart goes out for them. Wow. Yeah. I hope everything turned out okay. And also, like, what an old 90s movie way to sabotage someone. Like, what does this fucking mean, girls? I just think that's so ridiculous of a way to like sabotage someone. Right. No, it's quite childish actually to be like, I'm going to make you bulk up and that's what's going to make my boyfriend not attracted to you. It's going to feel undesirable. That's just wrong. No. Yeah, she needed to move out anyways because that's still.

53:54I'm really happy she's out of there. It is still technically like putting stuff in their food and not telling them, which is very much a crossing boundary. Incredibly. I do think it's hilarious of all the choices. it's like, ha ha, I'm making you stronger. No, literally, she's like, I'm putting protein in your smoothies. You're doing what? How dare you? Literally. Whoa. Also, like, straight up, like, I don't know how, I think she thinks creatine works in ways that creatine does not work. Definitely. Like, it's not gonna change you like that. In this situation, I'm glad everything worked like this to get her there to testing her blood.

54:32Yeah. Gosh. Poor thing, that's hard. Okay, our final story. Angela, you're gonna love this one. My roommate is convinced that he has infinite garlic powder. Oh. I just, garlic. That was really funny. No, but I love garlic. Is it? Yeah, garlic's incredible. I don't know, I just, garlic, I saw garlic powder, and I was like, yeah, you're gonna probably like that. Because she's a vampire. Vampires hate garlic. It's not true, it's not true. Which is why you hate this story. It's not true. If anyone on the cast was a vampire, It'd be you, Arasha. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Okay, so this story came from True Off My Chest.

55:09I've been living with my roommate for a little over two years. Early on, I noticed that he really liked putting garlic powder on just about everything. We each have our own separate bottles of garlic powder. His is medium-sized, and the one I buy is the size of a garlic powder you'd find in a restaurant kitchen. One day, I noticed that his garlic powder was about halfway empty, so I decided to play a little silent prank. Once about every week or so for the past two years when my roommate wasn't home, I would put just enough garlic powder from my bottle into his bottle right up to about the halfway point so that he would never run out of garlic powder.

55:43I also consciously store my garlic powder at the back of my section in our pantry so that he never happens to notice how much garlic powder I have on hand. Yesterday, after all this time, he passingly said out loud, I don't understand how this garlic powder is lasting so long. I think I have infinite garlic powder. Needless to say, it took a lot to contain my composure, but I didn't even acknowledge what he said, even in the slightest. Now, the problem is that we both have to move out by mid-October because our landlord is selling the apartment, and we're both going our separate ways. I really want to keep this secret to myself because, one, I'd hate to spoil the magic, and two, I think I'd come off as pretty weird because who does something like that, really?

56:25But after vigorously thinking it through and weighing my options, I decided that I have to tell him the truth and break the news to him about his magical bottle of garlic powder. I'd hate for him to run out at his next apartment and start questioning reality itself. So I think it'd be best if I just make the heartbreak quick, easy, and direct. So yeah, wish me luck. Oh my gosh. That is so, that's a perfect prank. Perfect prank. Perfect prank. So wholesome. It's like a punch up prank. Yes. Yeah, because it's a generous prank. Yes. He's like, oh, my God. I'm never losing. I love that. I do love pranks that are like a little bit at a time.

57:04Yeah. Like I've heard of people doing things where like they just slowly move someone's desk just a little bit every day. Yes. Until it's across the room. That makes me laugh so hard. Like those are funny because for one, they're harmless. Yes. But two, it's just like, especially this, it's like, yeah, you're kind of doing, you're giving them a gift. But it's something nobody would expect. This is so funny. Because also garlic powder, if I'm correct, garlic powder is like really cheap too. It's like, it's just something you don't think about that much. And you're not expecting someone to put just a little bit.

57:35It's sweet. It's very funny. I also love the moment he has to himself where he's like, I think I have unlimited garlic. It's wholesome. It's like an Even Stevens episode. I love that it was like in passing, just like, yeah, I think I have infinite garlic powder. I love that. Like he believes in magic, but he's kind of like nonchalant about it. It's like, yeah, I guess magic exists because this just doesn't run out. That is so sweet. I guess my luck is within my garlic powder. And meanwhile, this guy's like cracking up back there. It's so funny. It's so funny. Now they have to part ways. I know.

58:07And his garlic powder's gonna run out. I know, and I love that he's taking it so seriously. He's like, I have to go break his heart. And the guy's gonna be like, oh, it's cool, man. I can just go buy some garlic powder. It's so funny. I think I have infinite garlic powder, and I know you want to fuck my boyfriend.

58:25Okay. Update? All right. Comments. Someone said, can you be my roommate next? Someone said, I would laugh my ass off if I was the friend. I think it's a brilliant prank. Someone said, but nobody got hurt or humiliated or assaulted slash sarcastic. Slash S. As Spencer would say. Kid named S. Kid named slash S. Spencer says slash S all the time. He does? Slash Jen. Have you never seen this? I have. You've lost it. You've lost me. You don't know Slash. You're Gen Z, dude. I am not. Slash S. Wait, am I? Yeah. Yeah, you are. You must know this. You need to know Slash S, dude. No, I don't. Or is that like millennial?

59:12I feel like it's pretty Gen Z. Spencer's going around saying that it's millennial. It's what people do on the internet to like establish if their comment is sarcastic or serious or not. Slash S. Slash S. Because sarcasm is hard to read sometimes. Sometimes on the internet. Someone said, please don't tell him. This needs to be something he occasionally mentions to people throughout his life. I mean, you'll never really see it play out, but just knowing that anytime he cooks for or with somebody, he'll probably mention the time he had a magical bottle of garlic powder would make it all worth it to me.

59:40It's rare that as adults, we experience something that makes us feel like magic is real. You have the opportunity to make a grown man believe in magic. And to me, that is priceless. Don't ruin this for him or for me, for that matter. OP said, oh man, this is my favorite comment. And now you put me in a jam. Now I don't know what to do. This is where you can make the prank really mean. Is he needs to meet up with him eventually. He's like, yeah, that garlic powder eventually ran out. It's like, oh, then you must have done something really bad. Like make him think that he made magic die out. Or I would write a really small little note.

1:00:16Be like, it's been me the whole time. Love, Zach. roll it up, put it in the garlic powder so then one day when it's empty, yeah. Or you write Santa. Italian Santa. Or, hear me out. Is it from a Santa? Santa Claus. Or hear me out, you put creatine in the garlic powder. There you go, make him buff. Yes. Make him huge and hope he's allergic. That's insane. Cut that part. That's insane. Cut that part. Cut that part. Okay, update. What do you think he did? He told them they cried and kissed. Thanks for all the positive feedback and for the great advice. I've been reading the comments and debating on what to do all day.

1:00:59I finally decided that I'm going to keep a close eye on things when he's packing and try to steal his garlic powder so that it goes missing. What? I have to do what I can to keep the legend of the magical garlic powder bottle alive and this is the only surefire way to do that. I hope everything goes according to plan. I'm fine with it. Wait, so he's stealing it now? He's stealing half a bottle of garlic powder so that the guy keeps believing in magic. But he's given him back so much garlic powder that I feel like they can call it even. He's not stealing. He's like, man, my garlic powder disappeared.

1:01:28It's like it had to find someone else who was in need of it. Damn. And at the beginning we heard. And you no longer need it. We heard that he loves garlic powder on everything, right? Yeah, he puts garlic. He literally truly putting it on everything. He's one of those chefs. On his eggs. Okay, what I want OP to do, because he is stealing his garlic powder, is he steals, he's like, oh, it's gone. He's like, then he should just buy him another bottle and then be like, hey, I hope this one's magical for you too. And it's not gonna be. It's not gonna be. But, you know. He's just like, here you go.

1:01:58I just love the idea of finding a buck 50 bottle of garlic powder at Ralph's and being like, I think it's magic. I think this has other worldly powers. Well, it sounds like that guy needs the restaurant size garlic powder. Like, they need to just switch. I know, man. Yeah. Gosh, this is so funny. I love it. We should do something like that. We should. That's a great prank. Like something small. Wait, yeah. Who could we get with that? I don't know. Who uses garlic powder? Or just like something like. I don't know. We got to figure out some way. We'll figure it out. Yeah. We'll think of something.

1:02:31Okay. I mean, hey, your next prank needs to be just a very generous kind prank. It'd be great if it was generous. It would be so cool. Come on out, Angela's mom. Yeah. All right. That is it. Yay. That's all our stories. Thank you both for being here. Thanks for having us. Should we all move in together? No. All right. Yay. Who wants smoothies? Yay. Just kidding. Just kidding. That's the new pancakes. Who wants garlic powder? Yes. Garlic powder smoothies. Ew. But too bad they're in my lockbox. Oh, shit. And what's your birthday? That's crazy. What's your favorite number? Yeah. Anyways, thank you both for being here.

1:03:17Thank you. Thank you for watching. Let us know what other themes and subreddits you'd like to see on this show. Hope you don't have any nightmare roommates and we'll see you next Saturday. Bye. Bye.