This One is For the Boys | Reading Reddit Stories

25:06You have a whole movie group. I have a movie group. I have two different movie groups. I have one Film Wives movie group where it's five girls and we talk the entire movie and that's the only time I let it happen. And we cast each other in it and I always play the guy who's a douchebag. And then I have two dude friends that we go see movies and it's always like the fucked up horror movies that we watch together and that's the best. I would never be with someone who took that away from me No, I don't understand the concept of being like, you're not allowed ever There's like plenty of times where there's a specific movie where it's like, oh, we gotta see this together.

25:41Especially if you watch the series together I get being upset if they didn't tell, like, hey, we've watched all the Mission Impossible movies together, and everyone's coming out It's like, oh, I'm seeing that with blah blah blah I would feel hard. I agree, and series, like if you're away you kind of have an unspoken thing, if you started the series together. Absolutely. And if you watch an episode without them, it kind of sucks. It does suck. Yeah. But it's not like... I think it's like... You can if you're like, hey, do you mind if I watch this without you and I'll re-watch it with you maybe?

26:12Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I know some people are okay with re-watching stuff. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. But this is... This is a lot. I wonder what she wanted to see. Oh, yeah. With her friend. This was posted two days ago and we're in May right now, so this could be Final Destination, could be Mission Impossible. What else would it be? It can't be sinners. It could be a lot of things. I mean, it could be any movie. She's saying, like, any movie. I'm saying if Ethan Hunt asked you to trust him one last time, what would you say? I would say absolutely. Let's go. Also, though, like, you know, if you get invited to a screening, that's such a cool opportunity.

26:45You don't want to take that away from someone. Right. If Courtney got invited to a really cool screening for a movie that I was stoked to see, I'd be like, well, just go. And then, like, just go and see it. Just go and take me. Just go and take me. And I'll go, too. And I'll go. Come on. Oh, it could be Lilo and Stitch. There's a million movies are always coming out. Irrelevant. Opinion are discarded. But I think it's sad that she's now in a place where she's like, oh, she's worried about what he thinks. You don't ever want to be in that place. Also, you need to watch movies with other people because it's a different vibe.

27:20Also, he's probably cheating on her. Yeah, exactly. He's sleeping with another person. He's probably watching other movies. He's probably seeing other movies. He's probably seeing French films. Oh, my God. He's watching, like, Before Sunset, your favorite series. Yeah. He's probably watching Lilo and Stitch. I've never seen Lilo and Stitch. Neither have I. Really? We're older. We're older. Lilo and Stitch came out forever ago. We're wise. Yeah, we were too old. Yeah, too old, bud. Did you know that driving under the influence of marijuana is illegal? Driving high will get you a DUI. And if you're wondering if law enforcement can tell you're driving high, well, everyone else can.

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28:22Andy and Anna here from your new favourite podcast, No such thing as a fish. Yes, we are two of the four hosts of the podcast that stuffs fascinating, amazing, weird, mad facts into your ears on a weekly basis. You got any good facts, Andy? Yes, how about this one? Anteaters have evolved on 12 separate occasions. Wow. Mysterious, wonderful. The world really wants them to exist. What about this one? When Ronald Reagan left office, he left a note on the White House lawn for the squirrels warning them to beware of George Bush's dogs. So there you go. If you like fascinating facts and much more besides, we are No Such Thing As A Fish.

29:03Spencer, I think you were like 12. No. Yeah, I was too old, dude. Yeah. I was fooling around. And falling in love. A bunch of comments here. Are you positive that he is 40? Because, no. Wait, what? Someone said he's dating 10 years younger for a reason. Someone said this is an absolutely bonkers rule. It's one thing to say that there's this very specific movie he wants to watch with you. which I think is reasonable, but he's way past that. Someone said, is this the only weirdly controlling, insecure thing about him, or are there others? Good question. Because this is not a you thing to fix. There's nothing that you can say to him that will cause this particular idiosyncrasy of his to go away.

29:40Regardless of whether this is the only weird controlling thing he does or not, you have a right to do things as an adult, and he doesn't have to like it. But if his reaction to things that he doesn't like is over the top, then that's a big problem. Still, if you haven't communicated how you're feeling about all of this to him, then he can't know. and adjust accordingly. So the first step would be to say something like, I know you prefer it when we watch new movies together, but I'm feeling resentful about that because it means I don't have a choice about who I see movies with. Since you're away, I'm going to see a movie with my friend and I need that to be okay.

30:10How he reacts to that will tell you a lot about how the next conversation with him needs to go. I like when Reddit advice is just like, say you're resentful to your partner. It's like, okay, like maybe couch the language. Is there one therapist going around all the Reddit stores and going like, well, I've got to clock in and clock out. Yeah, I like the problem. The problem is like what works in like the specific wording that works for one person may not work for another. I also it's like it sounds good when you're typing it out on Reddit. Yeah. Say that out loud. I'm feeling resentful when you think it's just there's not.

30:44There's a lot of like I don't think this fits in that category. But we've talked about like there's a lot of like living out fantasies of like, well, this sounds right as I'm typing. Yeah, it's like, here's what you do in a perfect world where no one would, like, feel offended or anything. Or, like, no one would feel attacked. The unfortunate thing with Reddit, with all of these stories, is, like, we're hearing about a person through just a small little paragraph about a person we've never met before. You meet this guy, and you might go, oh, don't ever say that. Maybe his parents died when watching a movie with someone else.

31:13Yeah. I mean, look, but regardless, she has to set this boundary. and if he's not okay with that, then... Well, here's the thing. They've been together six years. She's been letting it go on for six years. This is going to be really hard to set the boundary, especially when he's away. I guarantee he's going to be like, who are you going to see at this movie? It's really hard to immediately set a boundary. I think the most important part, though, of this comment is this the only weird, controlling, insecure thing about him. Yes. I have a feeling this is part of many things. It's also music. Hey, so you didn't listen to anything on the ride into work today, did you?

31:51Yeah, could you imagine? I want to be out of town. Make sure you don't consume any media. I want it to be silent. That's such a weird form of control that he has over her is that he doesn't want her to have any experiences without him. And yet, he's fucking abroad. With someone, live abroad. Yeah, abroad with abroad. Abroad with abroad. So one time I was reading Reddit on my computer at work, and Shane came over and grabbed the laptop and started, he was like, he's like, you can't read the, and he started reading the stories to me. I was like, I have to read them. And he was like, I have to read these.

32:28That's really controlling. You can't control Spencer's experience. I have to make sure that nobody in this office is reading that. Hey, you made me, what was the word they used? I'm feeling resentful. He's feeling resentful right now and I'm his therapist. I never, okay, so another, I always see like pictures on Twitter and Reddit of people jumping around the couch in Reddit stories. I've never done that. Jumping around the couch? It'll be like, Tommy, he's on the wall. Oh, Tommy. People will be like, Spider-Man, they'll be up on the... We don't need to do that. It's all in our face. Final comment, just go.

33:00Stop asking for permission. If he makes a fuss afterwards, tell him to drop it or you're leaving the relationship. Tell him to drop it. Drop it. Hey, drop it. Hey, drop it. Hey, freaking drop it. My favorite thing about Reddit is that the advice is always just break up. it's just like oh my god a lot of these stories a lot of them it actually does fit so I can't hate too much I don't know if this is like breakup territory but it is like stop it's breakup territory if the communication and boundary setting doesn't work well if he's like no you can never I don't think she needs to say that she's resentful but she does need to be like hey I gotta be able to go see movies without you hey man hey bro fucking drop it I'm resentful as fuck Drop it.

33:42Drop it. I'm resentful. Hey, I fucking hate you. I hope the movie's good. I hope so, too. Okay, our next story. Am I the asshole for wanting to divorce my husband because he asked if he could get a blowjob from a sex worker? This is so Spencer-coded. Didn't we just talk about this? Did we? This is so Spencer-coded. This is Spencer through and through. This is birthday-coded, though. Spencer-coded. Because it starts off, today is my birthday. And it's also my birthday. It's my birthday. Today is my birthday. So me and my husband, a 25-year-old man, decided to go out for lunch. The day was going well and everything seemed normal.

34:21On the way back home in the car, he asked me if I would mind if he hired a sex worker to blow him because according to him, my blowjob skills are not that good. I asked him if he was serious and he just kept asking if I would mind it. I got upset at him, obviously, and when he noticed I was upset, he said I was a hypocrite and was making drama and that I wanted to ruin the day, etc. I feel hurt and I'm thinking about divorcing him. He just said I was being a jerk for no reason. Am I overreacting? It's not like he cheated Am I the asshole? Can I say something that might be weird? I feel like If your partner's not giving a good blowjob, why don't you guys work on it together?

35:01That actually is the most normal thing you could have thought the most I was I thought you were gonna be like, oh dude. Yeah, just like let him have this Sometimes I say comments and people are like, what the hell? But like, why don't you guys just watch a little porn? Be like, this is what I like. This is what I don't like. Do you want to try it? And he can do it to you too. Not all men are good at that. Like, just talk about it. I don't know. It's, well, I think it's very sad that - Hey, drop it. Hey, drop it. Friggin' drop it. This is like a form of communication that I feel like a lot of people lack, which is just like, we feel so uncomfortable with sex.

35:36Reading the fucking room. So, like, it's like you're married to this person. Like, you guys should be able to talk about anything. You're married. And you cannot even talk about this. And I get really frustrated with, like, fixed mindset views of, like, oh, these are your blowjob skills. That's permanent. That's what you're like. Yeah, it's done. You can't talk about it. You can't level your skills up through training. Yeah, just train a little bit. But to get a blowjob from a sex worker is so, like. That's zero to a million. Yeah, and then to be like, you're over. Dude, what if the sex worker was bad at it?

36:09And I, hey, hey, it could happen. Yeah. Actually, that's a pro move. If she hires a sex worker for him, but she's like, give a really bad blowjob. Give a really bad blowjob. And then he's like, wow, I guess you're the best. But it's like, this guy's being, to me, this guy literally wants a blowjob from another person. And he's just gaslighting her. Him being like, oh, you're a jerk. I think we all got confused because it's... Because the way he's talking to her makes it feel like he's... You're talking to me like it's your birthday, but it's my birthday. It is her birthday, and he's asking for a blowjob from a sex worker on her birthday.

36:51And all she asked for was lunch. Well, she's probably got so much other things to celebrate. This might be a good time to just bring it up. Okay, this is so Spencer's story. Where do they go to lunch? Yeah, that's... Where? For some reason, I am really hung up on where they went to lunch. I'm really hung up because it, like... Like, what is a birthday lunch? You know it's not good enough. No, it's like a sandwich and a salad, which I love. I love that for lunch, but, like, it's their birthday. But you know what I love more? A blowjob from a sex worker? Yeah, I thought so. I knew this was your story.

37:21Married at 25 and already asking for a blowjob from a sex worker. Like, it only gets better. I'm going to... You have bigger problems. I'm going to be a Redditor here and say they need to break up. Yeah, yeah. She needs to divorce him fast. Lawyer up. Lawyer up. Get out of here. Hit the gym. That used to be the meta on Reddit. It'd be like, lawyer up. Anytime there was any relationship drama, all that comes to be like, you need a lawyer up, hit the gym, and divorce her. It was like this. Always hit the gym. And then it became so bastardized. They were like, hit the lawyer, gym up. It was some fun.

38:00Hit the lawyer. Oh, I love Reddit humor. The comments, the way I would get the ick and never touch his wiener again. Yeah, I wanted the same. I got the ick from that comment. I never touch his wiener again. Do not call a penis a wiener. I'm so sorry. Your wiener skills are not epic. Could you imagine if she was like, bring out that wiener? Dude, just don't even. I'm getting the ick right now. I love how it's like, these are Spencer stories and it's a bunch of the most ungrateful guys. Yeah, and Kiana helped. Doosies? A bunch of ungrateful guys who hate sex. Yeah, and love Legos. Legos and movies and zero sex.

38:42It's The Chosen. I know. That's it. I think they come with love. Yeah, not this one. Yeah, maybe not this one. Someone said, not the asshole. Gotta love the hypocrite comment after. Unfortunately, it seems you didn't marry a keeper. OP left a comment. OP left a comment in here going, I tried really hard to make sure he was the one, too. I saw him go through his grandfather's death, and I accidentally damaged his car, and he was super nice about it and didn't scream or belittle me. The only area we had problems was our sex life because I had some health issues, and it killed my libido, but when that was managed, he was great.

39:17He knew about my past and that one of my relationships was long distance, so I wasn't very experienced with sex, but I actually thought our sex life was okay. But I'm very vanilla, but he never complained. Yeah, they never talked about it. She just needs, like, they just need to, like, work on it together, man. They do. I don't know if I, at this stage, hearing this information, believe he's someone who's going to work. It also makes me really sad when it's like, oh, he didn't flip out when I hit his car. It's like, oh, his grandpa died and he didn't hit me. He didn't, yeah, exactly. It's like, that's so.

39:45He's not awful. That's not, there's good men out there, guys. I thought he was the one because he wasn't really mean to me. Yeah. Obviously there is the conversation of like couples having conversations about opening a relationship. This though hits different territory for me where it's like, can I get a blowjob from a sex worker because you're bad at it? And I'm like, you can't move past that. I think he thought in his head that that like made sense. I think you're right. He was like, well, this is going to make sense. This is like stupidity on another level or like a complete lack of like, I don't know, like social awareness.

40:24I don't know what you'd use to describe what he lacks, but it's immaturity. To say something that mean, and then afterwards to go, you're overreacting, you're being a hypocrite. You're all these, it's like, okay. I don't believe what you're saying that he's nice. He's probably recovering from the death of his grandfather. Still. There's nothing wrong with wanting something good from your partner, but it's like, that is, he's just like coloring it as something else. Yeah. Other comments. My guess is he's gauging your reaction to something he's already done. Spencer, is that you? Is this you vibes?

41:03That's such a crazy assumption. Maybe they're right, but that's just like, dude, he's cheated on you. He's been cheating on you for his whole life. He hates you. I don't know. It's a possibility. It is a possibility. But you can't just jump to that. Yeah, it's a possibility. I I don't think in my eyes it matters. I think the comment Yeah, the comment enough is grounds. It's like could he have done worse possibly It's just like I like only a Sith deals and absolutes kind of vibe But it's just like it's like someone will post something on red They'd be like oh like yeah, I'm like my wife came home late last night and the comments was back dude She's cheating on you.

41:41She's just like yeah Perhaps not yeah, perhaps This can't be real. Nobody is dumb enough to ask his wife if he can get a BJ from a sex worker on her birthday. Oh my God. If it is real, you are an absolute saint for not cutting off his nuts right there and then. Someone commented underneath that saying, I'm in the process of a divorce from a man who asked me five days after I had given birth vaginally with a first degree tear if he could have a mistress because he couldn't wait six weeks to have sex with me. Same man also told me that the only reason he'd ever come during a blowjob was because he was imagining that I was one of his employees while I was giving him the blowjob.

42:21Some people are just shitholes. Sir, the fax machine is working. One of your employees giving you a blowjob? I don't know why. That makes me laugh so hard. Some things are so messed up. Sir, your meeting starts in ten minutes. I can't. What? Hello? First of all, I don't want to hear about the tear. What the fuck is a first-degree tear? I'm going to have to research this all night. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, no. This is bad. Guys never heard of jerking off. I know. And you tell him, and he's like, what? He's like, you can do what? Solo? Solo? Han Solo? Yeah, why are you relying on just one other person?

43:10Take care of yourself. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, God. God, these are all your stories. These are your stories, man. And these are my stories. Let's tell these stories. All right, our next story comes from the Two Hot Takes subreddit. Shout out to Morgan over at Two Hot Takes. Love Morgan. My roommate doesn't want to live with me again after I watched Jurassic Park movies while his girlfriend was at our apartment. Huh? My roommate doesn't want to live with me again after I watched Jurassic Park movies while his girlfriend was at our apartment. Okay. I, a 22-year-old man, am finishing up my last year of college and live with my best friend, a 23-year-old man.

43:48He has a girlfriend who's 20 that he's been with for about six months. She's pretty shy, and whenever she's at our apartment, they are pretty much always just hanging out in my friend's room. They will very rarely hang out in common areas for extended periods of time. So suffice to say that even though I've known her for half a year, I know very little about her and wouldn't say I know her very well personally. This past weekend, I was scrolling through Netflix to find something to put on in the background while I studied for finals. I found The Land Before Time, which was one of my favorite movies growing up because my older brother used to always play it for me when he babysat me.

44:18So I turned it on and just kind of had it on. My roommate and his girlfriend came by and my roommate noticed the movie I was watching. He commented that he hasn't seen it in years since he was a kid. He asked his girlfriend if she's ever seen it and she said no. she said that she wasn't allowed to watch any movies with dinosaurs because her religion doesn't believe in them and believe that their fossils were put in the ground by God as a test. Needless to say, I was caught off guard. Of course... Oh! I've never heard that the fossils were put there by God. As a test! I've heard that the fossils are fake, but not that they were put there by God.

44:57That's another level. That's a dumb test. Of course, I had a million questions, but for some reason my brain went towards dinosaur movies instead of her religion. I asked if she'd ever seen any of the Jurassic Park movies, and she said no. I told her some of them are really good and suggested we have a dinosaur movie marathon. She said she doesn't want to watch any movie that goes against her beliefs. I just said okay and didn't push it, and they quickly retreated back to my roommate's room. To fool around. But it did kind of make me want to watch Jurassic Park movies. Got me fucking thinking about Jurassic Park.

45:29I love this guy. That's awesome. I have the first two on Blu-ray, so I found those and started watching them. Neither my roommate or his girlfriend came out of the room much of the rest of the day except to get something from the kitchen or go to the bathroom. After I finished the second movie, I left to meet up with some friends. I stayed at a friend's place that night after drinking, and when I got back to my place, my roommate immediately laid into me. He said that I was very disrespectful to his girlfriend by playing Jurassic Park movies immediately after she told me it goes against her religious beliefs.

45:58He said I made her feel very uncomfortable and that they both agree I did it on purpose to mock her beliefs. I told her I don't care at all about her beliefs and that all I did was watch movies in my own place. I told him it's not my problem what her religious beliefs are and if she gets that upset about dinosaur movies, then I'm honestly kind of surprised she can go through day-to-day life without having an existential breakdown. He told me that he doesn't want to live with me again after our lease is up at the end of the month. We had already been looking at renewing our lease or finding a new place, but I think they are seriously overreacting.

46:30What is happening here? Break up with your roommate. Hit the gym. Dude, get out of there. Look, I have my judgments of, I mean, this is so extreme. I have my judgments of, like, certain beliefs and religions and whatever, but people can believe what they want. But I've always laughed at, like, I can't watch that because they're talking about things or it shows things that I don't believe. I'm like, then, yeah, don't. Then don't watch it. It's not your house. People are like, watch it and don't believe it. It's a fictional movie. You're saying that your faith is so weak that you can't watch it or you'll immediately be swayed.

47:05I'm like, then do you even believe what you believe? It's not your apartment. It's not your fucking apartment. I just scoff whenever people are like, no, I can't watch that because it goes against. I'm like, you must turn it off in your home. You believe what you believe, right? Like, you believe it's the truth, so it shouldn't matter. but she believes, I guess, that God put fossils there as a test. So maybe she also believes God made Jurassic Park as a test. What's the test? To test your faith? Your faith and, like, you know, the Earth only being, like, 3 ,000 or... So Jurassic Park playing was a test.

47:39Yeah. The Lord works in mysterious ways. It was a test from God. Oh. So my story is I was placed... No, I went to, like, a Christian summer camp. I've heard it's like yeah yeah like you know that was kind of like everything in our hometown was Christian and uh and then at one point we did like a field trip to this like museum and the museum talked about how dinosaurs and man like coexisted and it was like three the earth is like three thousand or four thousand years old was was their their pitch and dinosaurs were real and they coexisted with man but the fossils are not millions of years old the scientists are wrong and they're only like 3 ,000 or 4 ,000 years old, but they were wiped out in like the, I think it's the flood that, you know.

48:23They were too big. They were too big to fit on the Ark. Even though there's plenty of dinosaurs that were small. But yeah, so they are, they're real. And I came home and I was telling my parents about it. And birds are related to dinosaurs. And they were like, oh, you're actually not going back there. So one, Why? One point Spencer's parents, zero point. Your parents chose dinosaurs. Yeah. Yeah, because I truly was so obsessed with dinosaurs like my whole life at that point for me to kind of like, to show, I think it showed how malleable like a child's views are where I was like, yeah, like, well, that's what they told us, like this authority figure.

49:02And they're like, okay, well, that's actually, it's not true. So you're done. So they were saying that that authority figure was saying those fossils didn't come from dinosaurs. No, they came from dinosaurs, but they're only a couple thousand years old. So they didn't believe in carbon dating. Yeah, they were like no and so it's a pretty like they aren't true Simply because those aren't the facts of dinosaurs because your parents believe in dinosaurs my parents believe in yeah science And the Grand Canyon was just God making a really complicated cake really quickly. Yeah What he peed really hard because there's a bunch of layers and they can you can date all the layers.

49:33We're see like Well, that's the top that's us us and the mules we're the donkeys we're the frosting i can't it takes it takes like willful ignorance i i think when it comes to so much of these types of scientific things to go like yeah no that the earth is not that old it's like literally like can look at stuff like let's be real like your roommate's girlfriend it's not her place also you were inside a room with the door shut. Yeah. Like, what? Did she come out and go to the bathroom and see? She hasn't seen Jurassic Park. Unfortunately also, I think this is just not a bro. Like, this is a guy who immediately, like, this is the type of friend, I think, that as soon as they get a girlfriend, it's just like, if the girlfriend's like, I don't like your friend, he's like, yeah, and I don't like him either.

50:21Yeah, I don't like him. It's just like, he's not your bro, man. You know what? Maybe he just wanted the girlfriend to move in the whole time, and then he was like, this is the time. Yeah. It's the Jurassic Park. Yeah. Poor guy was just loving his little Blu-ray, having a great time. And he was smart for stopping after two. Yeah, the third one. Which one's Dominion? The fifth one? No, sixth one. I have not seen most of the first one. You didn't see Christopher... I have not actually watched any of the Jurassic World. I've only seen really the clip of the girl getting, as I call it, Harlem Globetrotted by the pterodactyls.

51:00Andy and Anna here from your new favorite podcast, No such thing as a fish. Yes, we are two of the four hosts of the podcast that stuffs fascinating, amazing, weird, mad facts into your ears on a weekly basis. You got any good facts, Andy? Yes, how about this one? Anteaters have evolved on 12 separate occasions. Wow. Mysterious, wonderful. The world really wants them to exist. What about this one? When Ronald Reagan left office, he left a note on the White House lawn for the squirrels warning them to beware of George Bush's dogs. So there you go. If you like fascinating facts and much more besides, we are No Such Thing As A Fish.

51:41She gets, it's the best way to put it. Oh, she's the nanny. She's the nanny. And dinosaurs are just throwing them around. She's the nanny. And she's on her phone the whole time. Yeah. I love Jurassic Park, but those ones are not that. That's Jurassic World. I could not stop replaying it as a kid. First Jurassic Park, the young, the blonde, her acting was out of control. Remember her? She was like... Oh, yeah. She's like... To be fair, if I'm in a kitchen with a bunch of velociraptors, I'm acting that way too. But her acting made me laugh so hard as a kid we would always rewind it and then press play again because it was so intense.

52:17Yeah. And the little boy... Yeah. See, I used to dress up as Tim from Jurassic Park a lot. Which one's too? Wow. The kid in the striped shirt. Oh, God. He knows all the facts. He knows all the facts. He's carrying around the dinosaur books together and the bandana. Yeah, that's a great outfit. Comments, not the asshole. I'm sure whatever she and your roommate are doing in his room all the time also goes against her religious beliefs. Roommate is just looking for an excuse to not live with you anymore. Someone said they didn't have a problem with it while you were watching The Land before time, but all of a sudden after you discussed it, it became a problem.

52:47You didn't sit there and force her to watch anything, and they were in a completely separate room. Not the asshole. OP said they think that once I found out that she doesn't believe in dinosaurs, that I watched the Jurassic Park movies to mock her beliefs and rub it in her face. Really, I just hadn't seen the first two Jurassic Park movies in a while, and the conversation spurred an interest in watching them again. Someone said, Someone looking to be offended can usually find an excuse. I don't want to get off track with the girlfriend's beliefs, but wow. However, you were in no way disrespectful.

53:14Your roommate is way out of line. I'm at a loss as to how that made her uncomfortable. You didn't lecture on evolution or ridicule her beliefs. You simply watched a movie that didn't support her very, very non-mainstream religious beliefs. You don't owe that to her. She's like, can we put on God's Not Dead? And it seems even the roomie didn't know as he asked her if she'd seen the movie. I'm rolling my eyeballs around here. It's not like OP was watching hardcore porn in the common area. You were watching a couple of very well-known and popular movies. OP said, this was the first time that her religious beliefs were ever brought up.

53:45She never said anything about me smoking weed or drinking at our apartment. I'm a 22-year-old college student. I do my fair share of sinning. This was the first time I heard her talk about anything related to her religion. Yeah, it's very inconsistent. It's an interesting battle to pick. Yeah, of all the things. It does, you know, it's a leap, but I do fall into the category of, like, maybe the roommate was just trying to find an excuse. I think it was that. He's like, go with the dinosaurs. Let's do the dinosaur thing. Because if we do drinking or smoking, then we have to stop drinking. Also, the roommate loved Lynn before time.

54:16Why isn't she on him on that? That's what he's saying. He's like, it's inconsistent. Also, the roommate clearly didn't know about this religious belief. Well dinosaurs mentioned that's a dinosaur. Hey, this is a you story. I'm learning so much about you I think the boyfriend's cheating on him. Probably you think the boyfriend's cheating on him. Mm-hmm

54:40I want to go on I need to make a reddit account and just go on to these am I the asshole posts and leave just comments that makes zero sense Drop them just be like I think he's cheating on you. It's very clear that he's not I don't know why you said that. It's like, wait, I think you misread the story. Now I get it. Okay, our next story. Okay. Am I the asshole for not inviting my sister to my wedding because she always jokes about sleeping with my fiance? Probably. So you. They're just jokes, bro. Come on, they're just jokes. They're just jokes. And she's allowed to say those fucking weird jokes.

55:15No, let me see his wiener. Okay, so I'm getting married in October. Small, chill, nothing crazy. Should be a happy time, right? Yeah. Except my older sister, who's 31, has this thing where she constantly flirts with my fiancé, 29-year-old man, like aggressively. And it's always under the guise of, oh my God, I'm just joking. Don't be so sensitive. The first time she met him, deadass said, wow, you upgraded. I'd let him ruin my life too, in front of me. I laughed it off because I didn't want to seem insecure, but like, WTF? Then she started with the, if you ever get bored of her, you know who to call comments.

55:49Again, in front of me. I told her it was weird and she rolled her eyes and said I'm too uptight. She rolled her eyeballs. She's made so many little jabs. I saw him shirtless once. Damn, girl, you got lucky. If you die first, I call dibs. Oh, my God. Too bad you got him first, LOL. Like, it never ends. This is just like Hamilton. This is so funny. This is so funny. My fiance thinks it's awkward but tries to ignore it. He's not flirtatious back, but he also doesn't really shut it down either. just gets uncomfortable and laughs nervously. Last weekend was the last straw. We were at my parents' house and I left to grab something from my car, came back and heard her saying, I swear I'm not making this up.

56:29I mean, if you're having second thoughts, I'm always available. Just kidding. Unless. I, this chick is killing me. Okay, that one's kind of funny. That one's funny. Like, the unless was real. That's not a joke anymore. That's a goddamn come on. I snapped, told her she's disgusting and can't come to the wedding. She flipped, cried, told my mom I was being dramatic. Now the whole family's saying I'm ruining the family over a joke and she's just always been flirty and doesn't mean anything by it. I don't even care if she meant it or not anymore. I just don't want that energy around me if I'm trying to get married.

57:03But now it's this whole thing and I'm apparently the villain for excluding her and making it a bigger deal than it is. Am I the asshole for uninviting her or is this actually insane? Because at this point, I feel like I'm losing it. This one's really complicated. I mean, what she's saying is making me laugh really hard. It's funny, but it's also just like, hey, if you tell someone to stop, it's like, hey, fucking stop. Slash serious? Fucking stop. Slash serious? Stop fucking doing it. The fiance's uncomfortable, and of course he can't say anything. It's her sister. He's got to be like, ha, ha, ha, ha.

57:39But I also think they could probably have a convo, and she could give him permission to be like, you're allowed. Exactly. You're allowed to fucking say no to her, too. But it's also, it's awkward to do that to, like, family. Oh, it's so awkward. It's so uncomfortable for either of them to have to set this boundary. I will say, though, not inviting her to the wedding is a little kind of to the extreme. I just, my family would never allow me to do that. My family would be like, how dare you? It's just reached such a. I think the family is being like, how dare you? The family is being, how dare you?

58:10It's one of those unfortunate things we see with so many families where someone's behavior has been a little out of control for so long that they're like, this is just who she is. Yeah. It's like, oh, that's Uncle Greg. He gets drunk and gets in fights with everyone. And that's just who he is. Maybe she should have given her an ultimatum. Like, hey, say that shit again. And you're not fucking coming to the wedding. You're making my fiance uncomfortable. And the next time you do it, he's going to say something. Is that going to be fun for you? Yeah. It's one of those situations where I don't blame her for what she did.

58:42Because I'm like, that's exhausting. It's exhausting. If they've talked about it before, I think it's... It's so disrespectful. If I were to talk about, like, you know, that... Yeah. She said she's brought it up, said, like, hey, this is uncomfortable. Yeah, but is she saying that in a joking manner? I told her it was weird, and she rolled her eyes and said, I'm too uptight. I don't... So she's not giving specific examples of what she said. I think she's also saying all these times were in front of her. So it's kind of like, okay, you're saying a joke, and it's like, you're doing it for shock value in front of me.

59:14But she was saying this without her around. She was saying this to her fiance. At a certain point, her fiance can protect himself. He's marrying into the family. He can be like, hey, no, I love your sister. I'm marrying her. I think a lot of men just aren't used to... That type of intense flirtation. Having to shut things down in that way. In that way, yeah. Yeah, women have a lot of practice with that. It's true. Like, truly. It's like you're kind of, and I'm not saying that's not a reason to. There's probably not, but it's like. Yeah. We don't know from this if he has said anything. Like, he could start off in a light way of just being like, no, like, I'm so happy with her.

59:59She's the one for me. I feel like this sister, though, based on what we're seeing, I just don't think anything's going to stop her. I feel like I've just met a girl like this. She just always says the comment. That makes everyone go, oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Comments, not the asshole. Why the fuck would you ever make comments like this about someone's significant other, especially in private Tim with you not around? Instead of admitting her wrong, she continues to gaslight you into believing you're insecure slash overreacting. Ultimately, it's your wedding, and if she can't respect you and your boundaries, then she doesn't have to be there.

1:00:32OP said she disrespected me, and I'm her own sister. That says everything I need to know. Thank you for your comment. Seriously, it means a lot. Someone said, Not inviting her ass is the best thing you can do. She's the type, in my opinion, that will try to outshine you on your big day. I get she's your sister, but damn, I would never do that to any of my sisters. That's so disrespectful. Can you imagine the sister taking a turn dancing with the groom? It wouldn't be pretty. Lastly, someone said, Not the asshole. Your sister is making a play for your fiance and would like nothing more than to bust up your relationship so that she could have him.

1:01:02Yeah, that's another one of those Reddit comments. It's like, dude, she's cheating on you. She wants to kill you. There is nothing wrong with you setting strong boundaries and your parents need to have to come to Jesus to talk with your sister about her behavior and stop enabling her. Someone said to that, exactly, and the fiance is likely not saying anything to avoid making waves, but the sister is just an ass. She's trying hard to come between them. She's calling it a joke, but if no one is laughing, what's so funny about it? She clearly has no respect for her sister. So how is this related to you?

1:01:34That's the first time I'm like, like, I don't know on this one. Spence is just like, man, I'd let him ruin me. Yeah, and I think, Shane, you're right. Like, it is like one of those kind of familial, maybe familial is not, but like, it's like, it's the family member. It's like, ah, like, you know, like, let him, like. You get, you, you know, they get a little drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you do bad behavior so long, you get, you suddenly, it becomes part of who you are and everyone's like, well, they get a pass. Yeah. Because they've been doing it for so long. But it, because like, if this was an out of character thing, like if you if you have a sibling who is always respectful and always cool and then suddenly you hear them say something like that you're like whoa holy shit but she's been doing it for so long yeah can I play devil's advocate what would be worse the sister being like god here comes your boyfriend fucking ugly socks like he sucks oh great you're marrying this loser or the other part I think they're both I think they're both bad no they're both so bad two sides of the same coin of just disrespecting her None of them are good.

1:02:35And they're annoying. They're annoying as hell. They're just like, stop. Oh, dude. People who don't let up on... Even if these are for sure a joke, still annoying as hell, still disrespectful. It's just exhausting. Yeah, it's tiring. If someone legitimately tells me not to joke about something around them, it's like, okay. Yeah, let me do that then. Yeah. I mean, we tell jokes for a living here, and we have the understanding amongst each other of like, hey, any joke is like fine. Yep. But once, if a joke is said, it's like, hey, okay, let's not do that one. It's like, all right. Then we don't.

1:03:11Then great. That's all it takes. When people don't respect that, it bothers me so much. They wouldn't be here. Yeah, they're just annoying. Yeah. This is rough. An update? No update on that one. I mean. Do you think that she still isn't invited to the wedding? Oh, it's in October. I. About this year? Maybe that'll be the one the Chosens show up to. It's just so complicated. Can you imagine? It's so complicated because, like, this is unfortunate where the sister clearly is the one in the family who gets the pass. Because, you know, if the sister had a wedding, okay, I'm going to be a little Redditor here.

1:03:49The sister had a wedding and she overreacted in ways and did something like this. The family would probably be on her side. There's always that family member that, like, just kind of gets the pass. And we read about it so much, and I feel like this is the one. I think it's because it's really uncomfortable to confront someone like that. I think the family, it's kind of like that peacekeeping aspect in families where it's just like, well, if we all just let them be this way. Yeah, but then it gets worse and worse and worse. Absolutely. No, I mean, like I said, I'm not necessarily judging her for her decision to say you're not welcome to my wedding.

1:04:23It is her wedding. She's allowed. She is allowed. Are there going to be repercussions for her? Yeah. Yeah. Like, it's going to be awkward in the family. I'm breaking up the B word. I think it was brave of her to uninvite her from the wedding. Like, that's scary. She's got to set up. The only thoughts I'm thinking is just, like, are there boundaries you can set? But do I, based on just this story. It seems like she wouldn't follow this. Based on this story, do I believe it? And I think OP is seeming like she doesn't believe it either. It's like, we don't know how long this is going on, how constant.

1:04:56I mean, if it's, to get to the point where you're uninviting a sibling, it has to be pretty extreme. Because, like, at a wedding, it's like, you want them there. Yeah. You should want them there. So to get to that point, I mean. You might regret it. Yeah, I don't know. But these things happen. Families are complicated. All right. Our final story. It comes from Am I Overreacting? Am I overreacting? Wife called another man daddy. This is so you. It's crazy. You're doing that all the time. I'm the other man. Yeah. He's like, hmm. Honestly, I mean, we've seen the TikTok thirst traps. I mean... We have.

1:05:36Someone... There's a... Spencer, there's a very real possibility that somewhere out there is a couple where the girlfriend might have accidentally called you daddy in front of their... You have a lot of thirst trap videos. How do you feel about that? Great. I feel great. Thank you. Thank you, guys. It feels great on my ego. I love how everyone's getting served them. That's the funny thing. Everyone. That's the funny thing. Literally, on URL, Courtney was talking to Ted Niffison, and he was like, I'm getting served them. Stop. Everybody's getting served them, man. I'm always kind of shocked when people know who I am.

1:06:10You're very memorable. Very memorable. That's the sweetest thing I've ever said. So for the last few years, my, this is a 33-year-old man, my wife who's 29 has been very interested in an mmo game she gets home from work on tuesdays and boots up her pc and starts playing it for hours on end she likes to role play there she pretends to be a rabbit it's sort of like dungeons dragons or play acting apparently and she has a sunday gaming group that she plays with i don't really get it but it makes her happy so i was always fine with it the last couple of months though she's been distant we haven't lain together in weeks usually two to three times a week.

1:06:46Lane together. Lane together. Oh, lane together. Lane together. I thought you said laned together and I was like, that must be like an MMO term or something like that. We haven't lain together in weeks, usually two to three times a week. And she brushes me off if I ask what's wrong. We used to cook together, but lately I've been having to do the cooking for us both and bring it to her in her home office. She works from home because she won't leave her computer. Then on Sunday night, I heard her talking with her gaming group. She was saying, I'm a good aster, I swear. This isn't her name. Mate is so hard, but his mount is fantastic.

1:07:22His thing is colossal. And then she giggled, Wolf Daddy is coming. That's when I maybe overreacted. I pulled the plug to the internet. Whoa! That's dad behavior. That's dad behavior. She was more upset that I turned off the internet than that I caught her cyber-fucking another man. And she tried to gaslight me into thinking I'm crazy, so I said some unharmonious things to her, and now she won't talk to me. Was I overreacting here? Clearly a lot going on. Yeah. He was probably... He probably said some fucked up shit, it sounds like. So was she sleeping with another rabbit? There's a game called Final Fantasy, and in it you're in a big fantastical world, and there's different types of people you can play as.

1:08:13You can play as like a rabbit human, but they're just a human. Like a tall, tall, sexy. Think of like Lord of the Rings elf, but with ears. Love that. Pretty much. That's basically the vibe. I was a lady with someone like that. See, this is where I wanted to leave Reddit comments with sounds. And I would just leave a moaning sound. But people role play in these games. So when they're playing, they're like speaking to each other as if they're in the world. This is fun. But people within the game, like, have relationships, role-played relationships, and role-play, like, basically they just talk out.

1:08:48It makes sense. Phone sex, essentially, just with added elements. Someone said, brother, I play Final Fantasy XIV. I think you need to get your hearing checked. First line is probably, I'm a good caster, I swear. Second line is likely, mate is so hard, but his mount is cool. Mate being pronounced as M8, as in that is what players call the fight. you get a mount from it. Third line is based on the fact that the in-game announcer says the line, he put the colossus to the sword. Fourth line is based on the fact that the boss, Howling Blade, is a wolf and says goofy shit like, can you handle a pack of wolves?

1:09:26Either this is a post meant for karma farming or you need to actually talk with your girl because she is not ERPing. She is raiding. You are totally overreacting. Edit, she was more likely reacting to the line, where did that colossal thing come from by the announcer? I forgot about it, LOL. Anyway, use this as a lesson to sit down and communicate with her the next time you have concerns. If she is willing to still put up with you after this, that is. Okay, now it's my turn to play devil's advocate. Okay. Love this. It's my birthday, so I can do this. Yes, you can.

1:10:01I don't even remember what it was, because I thought of so many awful things. I got nothing. No, no, no, but it was like, Like, because he has been trying, it sounds like in the lead up to this, from his POV, which is all we're getting, he was saying a lot of like, hey, she has been really distant. I've been trying to communicate with her, you know, and she's not kind of like sharing this like MMO experience. So I get how that has built resentment in that way. But also like that is a hilarious misunderstanding. It is a little funny. And saying unharmonious things like that's, look, the question was, Am I overreacting?

1:10:37I think he might have been overreacting. Yeah, he got paranoid. I think he overreacted because if this is the first time he's ever heard anything of this nature, he needs to go into the room and say, hey, what's going on? What am I hearing? But instead he pulled out the internet. It's just like. And then said a bunch of horrible stuff. He wants attention. He's feeling resentful. It's building. He's not saying anything. So he automatically makes her the villain. Here's the thing. She might be having cyber sex. I don't know them. Yeah. I mean, she's a rabbit. Jocelyn might just be legitimately addicted to the game, which can hurt her relationship.

1:11:10It sounds like there are issues that he's like, oh, we're not spending much time together. She's in her office all day, all night. That's a problem. You need to talk about that. They're not doing that. I don't like. I'm immediately not on this guy's side, though, because he's asking if he's overreacting, and he's not telling us what he said to her. He goes, am I overreacting? So I said a bunch of stuff to her. And I'm like, what'd you say, man? He writes out exactly what she said. And he's like, I said some stuff. Yeah, he literally gave us four of her quotes and then doesn't say what he said to her.

1:11:41I'm like, so yeah, I'm not on your side, man. Yeah, what did he say? Exactly. He probably said some really mean shit. He probably said some really awful stuff. He probably let out all of his frustrations, but he probably said some really out-of-popper things. Brave. That was very brave of you. That was not very brave of you. Internet is pulled. Yeah, no. Internet pulled. that is like something a dad would do. That's like dad behavior derogatory. You have to like find your internet. You have to like undo it. That sucks. Oh yeah. Then he doesn't get the internet. He's like wait I didn't think. He's like oh I'm in the middle of watching my movie that she can't watch with anyone else.

1:12:25Who says we haven't lain together in weeks? Also maybe that's why she doesn't want to lain with you. It's because you're talking like that bro. I'm like, she's the one playing Final Fantasy, but you're referring to sex that way? Let me put down my sword. She's like, just take off your pants. At the end of all of this, which story was the most Spencer? Okay, let's say it before he says it. Okay. What do you think? Mine feels, I'm leaning towards like Lego vibes. I'm leaning towards Jurassic Park because I think, no matter the situation, Like if someone's like, oh, I'm deeply offended by Jurassic Park.

1:13:01I cannot watch it. It's horrible. And then goes to another room. I think it's very Spencer. I think I would put on Jurassic Park as fast as humanly possible. I think it's very Spencer. To not do it out of spite, to just be like, oh, man, I should watch Jurassic Park. I think I might do it out of spite a little bit. Okay, so is Jurassic Park the most Spencer read it? I think that might be. The lingerie guy had me in the first half. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very Spencer in how funny it is. It's awful, but it's funny. it's stinky and I don't like it but it's a little it's really funny wow yeah well which one was so not you well the there was the awful guy the sex worker oh no there was the wedding one yeah the wedding one the sister who's just hitting on yeah it's just like bro stop you're uninvited you're uninvited to my shit one of your least favorite types of people yeah there you go for your birthday yeah I get that anyways Well, Spencer, happy birthday.

1:13:58Happy birthday. Thank you, guys. You have so much hair. And you'll never go bald. You will never bald. Never bald. Apparently, we have a surprise for you, Spencer. It's a blue joke. Oh, my goodness. Oh, my gosh. These aren't lit because we're on a set. But these are burritos. Oh, my goodness. I'm imagining from Home State. Oh my god, honey. Birthday burritos. You have to make a wish. It already came true. There you go. It already came true. Here with all you guys. Wow, some birthday burritos for Spencer. What a treat. It's Saturday. Get your burritos out. Yeah. Get your burritos out. Log into Final Fantasy XIV.

1:14:45Nice. Oh my god. Spencer, happy birthday. Happy birthday. Amanda, thank you for being here. Hey, anytime. And thank you for watching. let us know what other categories what other subreddits you'd like us to cover on this show, let Spencer know happy birthday and we'll see you next Saturday, bye bye thank you guys Andy and Anna here from your new favourite podcast, No Such Thing as a Fish yes we are, two of the four hosts of the podcast that stuffs fascinating, amazing, weird, mad facts into your ears on a weekly basis. You got any good facts, Andy? Yes, how about this one? Anteaters have evolved on 12 separate occasions.

1:15:32Wow. Mysterious, wonderful. The world really wants them to exist. What about this one? When Ronald Reagan left office, he left a note on the White House lawn for the squirrels, warning them to beware of George Bush's dogs. So there you go. If you like fascinating facts and much more besides, we are no such thing as a fish.