Ultimate Betrayal Stories | Reading Reddit Stories

14:48Ian Hecox:I thought all of this was because of his line of work, as I was told he traveled a lot. Last year, me and my husband went to a barbecue hosted by another couple in the group. Caro was there. I didn't recognize him at first, but when I realized who he was, I was honestly kind of shocked. I had seen him in person before, but he always kept a very, very good distance from me, which I'm realizing now was intentional. Anyways, he's totally stunning. He looks like he could be a supermodel. When I attempted to make conversation with him, he seemed really nervous and totally shut me down after a few sentences.

15:19Ian Hecox:When I mentioned this behavior to anyone else, they also shut me down, saying things like, that's just how he is, or maybe you said something that offended him. In short, no one would tell me anything about Caro at all. Any conversation that involved him was a no-go. At the end of the night, I tried talking to Dylan about his behavior. He told me Caro didn't like me. I was confused because I'd hardly seen him in person at all, let alone actually talk to him. The excuse my husband gave was that he disliked me because I cheated on my husband once in college, and Caro was too stubborn to let it go.

15:51Ian Hecox:I've seen Caro less than a dozen times since then, mostly at birthday parties, huge get-togethers, and on one occasion, he came to our house to watch a football game with my husband and a few of their other buddies. Anyways, a few weeks ago, my husband went fishing with his cousin. That same night, I had some of the girls in our friend group over for a girls' night type thing. Lily, a 24-year-old woman, was scrolling through some social media. I was glancing over her shoulder when I saw a selfie of Dylan and Caro sitting next to each other in a hot tub The selfie had been posted maybe 30 minutes ago I asked Lily about what I had seen and she went pale She tried saying nothing, but I snatched the phone from her and went to the profile that posted the photo The profile belonged to my husband It was a private profile and scrolling through the photos Most of them were dirty jokes or memes, but the rest of them were photos of him and Caro Either they were hanging out alone or with the rest of the group, minus me Most of the photos seemed way too close, too touchy Or doing things that seemed too personal or intimate For friends to be doing I spent a good ten minutes looking before I couldn't take it anymore I was horrified All of the photos were dated to nights my husband told me he was working late Hanging out with this relative or that Times that he told me he was doing something else And obviously hangouts I wasn't invited to Lily just sat there looking dumb She didn't say anything But all the girls were looking at us like a bomb had just gone off They clearly knew what I had seen and their reactions were enough to confirm exactly what I was afraid of.

17:14Ian Hecox:I was livid. I started yelling. Lily was crying and the rest of the girls were freaking out. When I started to calm down and demanded that they explain what was going on, Lily told me everything. Dylan and Caro had been sleeping together and very essentially dating behind my back since before we even got married. They got together during a one month break me and Dylan had during college and they stuck together ever since. They all knew and none of them told me until I found out the hard way. Caro wasn't at our wedding because he felt guilty. He avoided me like the fucking plague because he felt guilty.

17:44Ian Hecox:They arranged group meetups in a group chat I wasn't in because they all liked Caro enough to spare his feelings. Even the guys in the group felt the same way about him, apparently. Caro was never as distant as I thought he was. He was just being hidden. Dylan was hiding him from me because he didn't want me to find out they were together. By the end of it, half of us were sobbing, and everyone who wasn't was apologizing to me. I was so angry. I made them swear they wouldn't say anything to Dylan or anyone else. I kicked them all out and cried myself to sleep. I was basically in denial, like it was some kind of sick fucking prank.

18:14Ian Hecox:My husband didn't come home until the next morning. He told me all about the supposed fishing trip he'd gone on. I didn't say anything about what I knew. I guess he could tell something was up, because he kept asking me what was wrong. All day, every fucking five minutes. Eventually, I just told him I'd been in an argument with my sister. By the end of the week, I was totally numb. Last night, while my husband was handing out candy to kids, I saw a notification pop up on his phone. Since I knew his password, I opened it. It was a text from Caro. I looked through the conversations they'd had. It confirmed everything.

18:42Ian Hecox:It was devastating. Dylan texted Caro the exact same way he texted me. He told Caro he loved him. Every sweet thing he said to me had been said in his conversations with Caro. I was hardly mentioned. I put his phone back before he noticed. Dylan is at work now. I don't know what to do. I could never imagine myself leaving Dylan because he's such a loving partner and a good man. But I can't see myself winning in a competition against Caro if that's what it comes down to. I can't even make myself be disgusted or angered by Dylan. I love him too much. I'm not even upset with Caro, but I'm so hurt.

19:12Ian Hecox:I don't want to risk losing my husband, and I don't want to share him. I called Lily and my sister this morning and told them about what I had found. They both asked what I'm going to do, and I had nothing to say. I don't know what to do at all. Jesus Christ. I am exhausted.

19:30Shayne Topp:What? Because I just thought, like, oh, maybe, like, you know, they just, like, had a little fling. They did a little bit of cheat. But this is like, this has been going on. Little bit of cheating. We're doing a little bit of cheating as a treat. Just a little pinch of a cheat. But this is like a full-blown relationship. I didn't expect this at all. I actually thought in my weird brain that Carol was like attracted to her. And he was aggressively keeping him away. She said he's stunning.

20:01Ian Hecox:I also thought he's stunning as a supermodel. I thought the husband was keeping him away. She's like, don't see my friends. I don't want her, my wife is gonna fall in love with you. That's what I thought I wanted to first. Because you're so hot, bro. You're so hot, bro. What if we went out? Yeah, should we kiss and do a little cheating?

20:15Shayne Topp:Maybe that's been a strategy the whole time, is to have sex with Caro so Caro doesn't have sex with his wife. Well, they've been together before him and his wife. Before they were even married. He's always thinking three steps ahead. I don't understand. The entire friend group was down to help cover this up. And the women came over, and I could not go over a woman's house and keep this secret from her. Hell no. I don't think, I couldn't act like a normal person. It's coming. Some people can just live life keeping secrets. I don't know. And that makes me think, are they more friends with that couple?

20:50They are. They have to be.

20:52Ian Hecox:Yeah, but it's like, damn. But it's like, this has been going on long enough that you're friends with both. Yeah. Or it's like if I'm hanging out with someone and they're like, yeah, I have this long-term affair, but my partner doesn't know about it. And I'm like, well, either I can't keep that secret or we can't hang out because I'm going to tell them. It's going to come out.

21:12Shayne Topp:No, 100%. I wouldn't be able to keep a secret.

21:15Ian Hecox:I would just feel so awful. Even if I was genuinely trying to keep the secret, there's no frigging way I'm going to do it. I'm going to fail at that. It's not going to be a comfy hang. No. It's not a good time. Spirituality. Let's pull some tarot. Oh, cheating? Oh. Oh, death card again. They're all following the secret account where they're just like posting blatantly about it.

21:38Shayne Topp:I will say that sometimes what happens in these situations is one of the people will tell other people that it's a consensual situation and then suggests like, but it's like, don't ask, don't tell, so don't talk about it with my partner. We're in an open relationship, but we don't talk about it. Yeah, but. But I'd still be like. They seemed like, they were like, uh-oh, she found out.

22:04Ian Hecox:I think you would know that's not true by talking to her. Because OP, there's no way conversation with her. I would need that confirmed from both partners. Also, to have an Instagram account. That's insane. I'm always shocked by the audacity of cheaters in so many of these stories. Because there was a cheater who got tattooed. The name of his partner. Like, of the affair partner. I remember. I'm like, wow, you're confident. So we have some context down below where Dylan, the husband, is an openly bisexual man. And apparently his family and stuff knows and they're okay with it. But there's some, it's possible that Dylan at least thinks that his family would not be okay with him marrying a man.

22:46Ian Hecox:So they're fine with him being bisexual as long as he's married to a woman. He's married to a woman and has like the presenting face of, that's so sad.

22:56Shayne Topp:But the wife didn't consent to that. Yeah, I don't, that's all like context. Oh, so do we think that he would have wanted to get married to Caro but didn't?

23:05Ian Hecox:That's possible motivation for the horrible thing he's done. This is so, he's still done a horrible thing. This is so sad though to me. This is so sad. It is, it is. It's deeply sad. And you know what I really relate to, sadly, is how she's still here going, but he's a good man. I know. And like, I love him. I'm like, because this is clearly initial shock. And to us reading it, it's like, you go. This is going to end. But she does love him. But in that moment, you're trying to let go of this person that you know. And it's like, but he's not who you thought he was. No. He is a completely different person.

23:43Shayne Topp:And there's no way that he's going to be on board with severing from this other guy. Exactly. That's just going to breed an insane amount of resentment that he won't be able to do. He loves, he's in love and loves two people.

23:56Ian Hecox:This is as extreme as cheating really gets, beyond having like a secret family, right? This is full on, has another relationship that he almost seems more dedicated to. Yeah. And what's sad is like all her friends lied to her too. That's so painful. You don't trust anyone now. Comments, he is having a full-blown affair, leave. Also, your friends suck. How long have they known? Were they happy for you to be in an open relationship without you knowing? Disgusting. Someone said he's been with Caro since college, but he married you. And Caro was fine with being a side piece this whole time? Honestly, Dylan can't be worth this.

24:33Ian Hecox:You're married to the idea of having known your person your whole life like it was fated. But look at what you're trading for that false narrative. What you thought you had with Dylan was just a dream. You dreamt that up all by yourself. Every liar by extension in your friend group watched you sleep, then aided Dylan and Caro to keep you in the dark. I'm so sorry, Although it feels impossible, there are absolutely better days ahead. Lastly, someone said, I honestly would just break up with him and divorce him. It sucks that this happened to you and no one was able to be honest to you about it.

25:02Ian Hecox:At the very least, I would spend some time alone and think about what I want and need in my life. I would recommend talking to him about it and letting him know how you feel. Because if she gave him an ultimatum, she would be even more hurt. Because his heart is half, it's like split. It's done. She just needs to leave, unfortunately. It is done whether she realizes it or not. Like, I think it's done. Like, even, I think even if she was like, I want to make this work, it's done. It's done. But we'll find out. Update. I was unaware it was a big trend to repost Reddit posts onto TikTok. This is what happened with my first post, and the video has almost 700 ,000 views.

25:40Ian Hecox:A friend of mine, Noah, who I am name-dropping because I know he will see this, and I appreciate him dearly, forwarded me the video because he knew it was my post. I explained the situation to him prior, and he knew I had posted it. There are several things I want to address and I ask whoever made the video because they clearly use Reddit posts this too to clear my name. Everybody in my life knows by now so I see no harm in addressing you personally. To recap, yes, I am leaving Dylan. No, I did not actually cheat on him. It was a huge misunderstanding between the two of us that led him to believe and tell people that I cheated.

26:13Ian Hecox:I don't even know if what he told me about Caro's dislike for me is or was true. No, I am not going to sue him for everything he has. I will no longer be speaking to anyone from that group. I may have been naive, but I am not stupid. No, I still do not know why they chose to betray me like that, and I don't intend on finding out. Yes, while his parents were accepting of LGBTQ +, I don't think they would have been okay with Dylan marrying a man. From here on out, I doubt I will have anything to say. That is all. Thank you. Also, I have never watched Brokeback Mountain, but the jokes about it did make me chuckle.

26:46Ian Hecox:Oh, there's that. Wow. Okay, Reddit. Okay, Reddit. They're like, Brokeback Mountain, that was a movie with two guys. Hey. I have not actually seen Brokeback Mountain. Wow, not an ally.

26:57Shayne Topp:You need to go home. Give us your ally card. And go. Okay, but in Brokeback Mountain, they go on a fishing trip, and that's when they, and that's the famous scene when they're holding each other looking at the gorgeous mountains. And that's where Heath Ledger met Michelle Williams. Can you believe they lost to Crash?

27:13Ian Hecox:Yeah, I have not seen Brokeback Mountain, but I know it was Rob because I've seen Crash. You need to leave right now and go home and watch it. Okay. Is that okay with everyone? I am wearing cowboy boots. Get out there. I gotta go do it. I gotta go do it. All right. Our next story. That one was a lot. I guess we can move on, but this is going to be forever. It's one of those Reddit stories that's forever. Yeah. Our next story comes from Am I the Asshole. Am I the asshole for throwing a cup of cold water on my naked husband? Ooh. Let's see where it goes. My husband has been tested for ADHD, but he doesn't have it.

28:00Ian Hecox:Was that the opener you guys thought this was going to have? No. All right. My husband has been tested for ADHD, but he doesn't have it. He has the kinds of problems that are associated with ADHD, however. He says writing lists, making a schedule, setting alarms, etc. is physically painful for him. And he'd rather just deal with occasional emergencies rather than be proactive. The specific problem.

28:23Shayne Topp:He's like me for real.

28:25Ian Hecox:The specific problem. He often forgets to push the shower diverter valve down. You know the little rod on the tub faucet that you push down to make water fill the tub. And pull up to make the water come out of the shower. For nearly 20 fucking years. I have been asking him to push that down since I was literally a teenager I have been asking him to push that fucking thing down at least twice a month. I have a very Unpleasant wake-up slash cold shower because I turn the water on and I get a cold spray from the shower And every fucking time he's apologetic and then a week or two later it happens again He will do better for a while and then it slips in again He is always telling me that he's working on it and hasn't he been better about it lately?

29:07Ian Hecox:but somehow he's always working on it, always improving, but it never fucking stops. Today, I had just fucking had it. I stepped into the shower, turned it on, and had a very cold and rude awakening. I couldn't fucking take it anymore. I grabbed the cup by the sink and filled it about three inches with cold water and walked out to where he was standing naked. He had just taken off his pajamas and was going to take his shower after mine. Without warning, while he was looking down, I held that plastic cup firmly in my hand and grasping it tightly, I jerked that motherfucker in a 45 degree angle to get the cold water all over his torso and face I told him that his apologies were worth the paper they were written on And I was tired of listening to him congratulate himself for getting better When I had been asking for 20 fucking years to stop doing this shit I told him I don't accept his apologies and the fact that it's an accident does not excuse it I told him that from now on every time I'm taking a cold shower So will he that I refuse to be a second-class citizen in my own home any longer and if he refuses to make any changes to treat me better, I will instead make changes to treat him worse because I will not tolerate this any longer.

30:10Ian Hecox:I'm going to continue to surprise throw a cold cup of water on him every time I get a surprise cold shower. I'm tired of fucking asking, begging for basic fucking respect and not getting it with the implication that I have to fucking put up with this forever. So Reddit, I know I'm probably an asshole, but am I a justified asshole? I've never heard you swear so much, Shane. I don't think I've heard so much. I hope Jesus isn't watching. He is. He is.

30:38Shayne Topp:Dude, in front of her child? Really? He is. Jesus is watching. So I have a question. When you go into the shower, you can push up the thing or push the thing down, right? But I guess she's expecting there to be an understanding that, like, one would expect it not to come out the shower head. Or you adapt and go, he's probably going to forget this. I'm going to click it. But why should a woman have to bend to the shortcomings of men, Amanda? Let's just adapt and support our partner.

31:18Ian Hecox:This story confuses me because I turn on the shower from the side. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm scared of this.

31:25Shayne Topp:But I think what it is. This scares me. What I imagine, because it's happened to me before where I didn't get into the shower. but like I poked in to turn it on and like the hot water nozzles on the other side so you lean over to turn that on first so your head is where the shower would maybe be spraying because this happened to me before. I'm also confused.

31:49Ian Hecox:I think almost every shower I've ever come across automatically does that. I've never heard of one where after the shower you have to manually do that.

31:58Shayne Topp:Well, you can either leave it up or down and some automatically

32:03Ian Hecox:almost every single one I've ever had automatically does that but for 20 years that means the multiple showers they've probably had so I'm just saying I've never come across that I'm just a little like okay are you going to divorce him where are we at

32:23Shayne Topp:I think there's something more that's going on in this relationship She jerks the water so intensely.

32:30Ian Hecox:Look, she's got a lot of anger. She is pissed. 20 fucking years. I would say, though, I'm like, she's like, he's been doing this since we were teenagers. I'm like, and you married him. Like, you can't expect people to change. I don't know. Like, that's always my view of like, hey, he's a forgetful guy. You knew that. I'm kind of like. Like, you want to marry him and then be like, and now you need to start remembering things. It's like. Adapt. You married him for who he was. Adapt. If that's a deal breaker for you, then you should have addressed that. Maybe she turns it on and waits for the cold to hit so she can be like, motherfucker.

33:05Shayne Topp:That's the thing. I think there's more going on here. This isn't about the shower. They've been married 20 years. This isn't about some little forgetful shower thing. I think it is.

33:18Ian Hecox:She's not giving us any other context, though. I think it actually is about the shower. This is the thing, though. For some people, it's why, like, my view has always been, like, it's the little things that matter so much in, like, any kind of relationship. Friendships, romantic relationships. Yeah. Because this is a small thing on a day-to-day basis. It's like, oh, that's nothing. But over 20 years. It's not nothing. It's a big deal for her. But I'm also, like, I guess I'm not a believer in, like, people are going to change. Like, that you can ask for people to change. Like, they need to change themselves.

33:51Ian Hecox:and there's some things they're maybe just not going to do that on and you have to accept that person. You have to adapt, but it's like there are things, there are small things in relationship, things that I couldn't live with. You know when you hang out with another couple and maybe there's another couple who like run late all the time? Sure. I'm like I couldn't be with that person. No. That's a small thing. Yeah. In their life, that is a very big thing in my life. Totally. And so like I know that. But it's kind of like if you're with someone for 20 years and it's the shower thing, I don't know.

34:23You kind of either have to leave or stick it out.

34:27Ian Hecox:I don't know. It's tough because I am a forgetful person too, and I would feel bad if someone was asking me to keep doing something and I kept forgetting. But I do that with myself. I will forget things and I will get mad at myself and be like, I need to remember to do this. I want to start remembering to do this. And I keep forgetting, and it's really hard. My solution in this situation, if I'm him and I care at all, I would be like, I'm replacing this thing with one that automatically does it. Yes. Because I'd be like, I would have to accept also, if after years go by and I'm told like, hey, for years you haven't done this, I'd be like, then I clearly my brain is not able to do this.

35:04Ian Hecox:So I need to find some other solution for it. Yeah, that's a good solution. Her level of anger here. But I think you might also be right, Ian, a little bit of like the feeling of not feeling like you're being heard or listened to or supported.

35:19Shayne Topp:It's the feeling behind the action. Yeah, exactly. And I can understand her anger in that sense. Do I think you retaliate with a cold? Also, so he took off his PJs, so he's gonna just hang out naked. He's just standing there naked.

35:33Ian Hecox:Just waiting. Tell me when you're done, babe. Massive inconvenience now for both of them. She just splashed water all over the bathroom or living in wherever. No, I think it was in the bedroom. Yeah, it's like, all right, like, she wants us to be on her side when she's saying, like, if you can't make my life better, I'm going to make your life worse. I'm like, that's not, I don't think if you went to a couples therapist, they'd be like, yeah, that's the right mindset. Right. You guys are going to do all right now. Yeah. No, I'm going to make things worse. Like, then things are going to get worse.

36:02Ian Hecox:Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah.

36:04Shayne Topp:No, I think it's definitely like if she was able to speak to her feelings around that issue of like, hey, I don't feel thought about or cared for. Because when you do this thing, yeah, I feel like you don't care about me and you're not thinking about me. And I think it's better to try to put those things into feelings and communicate that rather than saying, well, I got assaulted with water, so now I'm going to assault you with water. She's also saying you have ADHD and here are the problems of ADHD. It's a little like she's diagnosing him.

36:50Ian Hecox:Well, she's saying at the top, she's saying he doesn't. He's been tested and he doesn't. Oh, okay. But he has the kinds of problems that are associated with it, however. That's just like ridiculous. But he has the problems associated. He says writing lists, making a schedule, setting alarms is physically painful for him. And he'd rather just deal with the occasional emergencies rather than being proactive. So then adapt. That's who your partner is. That's literally, he literally told you who he is. I don't understand why people are like, yeah, but I'm going to change them. It's like you actually, you can work on things together.

37:22and eventually maybe you will change each other in a way that works. But like, he's communicating who he is.

37:30Ian Hecox:Yeah. Yeah. Get a new shower head thing.

37:33Shayne Topp:I like that. I like that solution. Just get a new shower and then, I don't know, work on your actual problems.

37:38Ian Hecox:I don't think this would be done. I think she's clearly saying this is a broad scope of things. Verdict was you're the asshole, which we rarely see. And not only that, I think the first time on the show, So, poo mode activated. Yeah, I've never heard of that. Okay, explain. Explain poo mode activated. I think it's just like an extreme, like, she was voted you're the asshole into a blue. Who activates the poo? Just the Reddit community.

38:05Shayne Topp:Okay, because I mean, I think we've heard stories that are way more asshole than this. Well, she's not ending up on you're the devil, right?

38:14Ian Hecox:Oh, okay, got you. She's not a demon, right? She's just like, I'm like, this is extreme asshole behavior. This is just poo mode. You're being an absolute asshole. And she's going to have to wash off in the shower after all that. She's not a criminal. She's not a nightmare human being. It's just like, hey, you're being a horrible asshole. You grab cold water and splash it on your husband. I need to know what his reaction was. I get the vibe. My interpretation, he's the guy who's just like, oh, yeah, sorry, couldn't figure it out. That's what I'm thinking. If we met these people face-to-face, we might have completely different opinions.

38:47Ian Hecox:But based on how she wrote this she also suffers from the thing that some OPs suffer from where the way she wrote this Paints her horribly. She was in a rageful place. You did not Write this for us to be oh She wrote it naked right after the water thing. She might have written this in the shower. Oh, she definitely did Comments you're the asshole for nearly 20 years. You could have learned to take two seconds to look at it yourself This is a you problem not him someone said I'm honestly scratching my head at getting into the shower before the water goes on Like, even if it's coming out of the tub faucet hot, the initial shower water will be cold.

39:22Ian Hecox:Plus, who wants to stand there naked and cold waiting for the water to heat? Someone said, maybe my shower is just shit, but do you really not let it run for a second to warm the water up and stick a toe in to see if it's the right temperature? Sorry, but this seems like it could be a non-issue with the modicum of effort on your part. You're the asshole. Someone said, can we consider the possibility that when someone has reached the level of throwing a cup of cold water in their spouse's face, that it's not about the one minor annoyance. Like, the post is pretty clear here. This is not, my husband is a caring and supportive member of the household 99 % of the time, but has this one blind spot.

39:55Ian Hecox:This is, I have spent 20 years turning myself inside out to get this person to make baby steps and pulling his weight and nothing ever gets better. She feels trapped and powerless, so she's behaving like a petty asshole. She should have left long before she got to this point. OP responded, yeah, I think it's time for me to get out. He says all the right things, but he either can't or won't change. I don't like the person I am when I'm around him anymore.

40:18Shayne Topp:Whoa.

40:19Ian Hecox:Someone responded to that saying, leaving honestly sounds like a good idea, but don't pull the I don't like the person I am around him card without being willing to take a serious look at your behaviors, your habits, and the attitudes that you have developed. Seriously, write out the statement, my husband annoyed me so I physically attacked him and stare at it for a while. Yes, it was in a way that had no chance whatsoever to hurt him, but the fact that you reached that point over an annoyance and no warning bells went off in your brain to remind you that this isn't how adults handle conflict resolution is a problem, and it's entirely an internal one.

40:50Ian Hecox:Whether you want a new partner or single life, you need to confront that behavior head on or it will keep causing issues further down the line. There's that therapist. How much are they getting paid hourly? They show up. Like, truly, they're working constantly. Yeah, there's a ton beyond this. This is a whole plumbing system. The therapy thing? No. She's like, I've been looking at the scrap of paper that you don't remember. She's like, thank you for that novel you sent. I mean, I can't disagree with it. But look, if she's like, I need to get out, then clearly this was a lot going on.

41:25Shayne Topp:There's something going on. I think, like, yeah. I mean, I read a great book. I'd recommend all couples read this book. What is it? Nonviolent Communication. Oh. Great book. Okay.

41:34Ian Hecox:I like to do that already, so that sounds good. Nonviolent communication? Nonviolently communicating. I like to communicate non-violently. Are you kidding? You berate me in. I just scream at you. The camera's kind of like, how dare you talk that way in this video? Yeehaw. But yeah, great book. Great book. Okay. Great recommend. All right. Wow. That's probably some of the most vitriol we've ever read in a Reddit story. She was on fire. I've never seen you swear that much.

42:07Shayne Topp:Over a three-inch cup of water. I know. Three-inch cup of water. I do like to imagine that she, like, whenever she saw that the nozzle was to the shower, she, like, got all the way in the shower and then stood right in the direction of the shower and went, Oh! Yeah. You fucker! Exactly. And he's probably like, yeah, my baby's going to remember that. I'm so sorry, baby. He's like, oh. Scott, you just did that right in the mic. Oh, I'm sorry, Scott. Scott. I'm sorry, Scott. Scott is dying. Scott is dead. Yeah. That was awesome. That was a ride. That was a ride. A ride I didn't want to be on.

42:51Ian Hecox:Next story. Am I the asshole for thinking about divorcing my wife after she drunkenly exposed me to our group of friends? Exposed? Exposed. Okay. Guys, I literally don't know what to do after this weekend. Posting from a burner account since I am connected with a lot of friends and family on my account. The issue here happened Saturday night. We had our friend group over. There were six of us couples there and we were hosting at our house The night was progressing pretty normally We had done dinner and we're just hanging on the couches chatting Everyone had been drinking over the course of the evening.

43:22Ian Hecox:So we were all pretty comfy My wife amy all names are fake was talking with one of the other girls about my new job I recently got a promotion that comes with a nice raise The downside is that I have to travel a decent amount up to two weeks a month But only three to four days at a time at most we were excited for the changes the extra income will provide and how it will change our future so the travel was something we agreed to be worth it. As they were chatting, her friend Pamela was talking about how they make it work since her husband also travels for work a lot. The conversation was actually quite helpful, honestly, in a lot of ways as there were some good ideas in there.

43:54Ian Hecox:That is until this happened. Heidi jokingly said, be sure to order some sex toys that are the same size as him so you can still have sex while he's gone. Now she was giggling, just making light of the fact that I would be gone and that the biggest challenge they had was the interruption in their sex life. No harm in this, right? That is until my wife says, I don't think they make them that tiny.

44:14Shayne Topp:No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay.

44:25Ian Hecox:Please press F for our fallen comrade.

44:31Whoa. Wait, the wife said this? In front of all the friends.

44:38Ian Hecox:I don't think they make them that tiny. Was she just like getting, did she get a little nervous and say something that wasn't right and it's not true? You'd hope she would quickly go, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. It's massive. I can't take it anymore. It's so big that they don't make anything to me. It's basically I have done. And he's just like, okay, now you're actually. It's like a pool noodle. It's wild. It's huge. You girls should try it. I'm sorry. Honestly, he's a freak. He's nasty. He's nasty. Okay.

45:13Shayne Topp:Like, you ever seen a baby's arm holding an apple? Jesus Christ. Damn it.

45:19Ian Hecox:All right. That is until my wife says, I don't think they make them that tiny. Guys, I went totally pale. Everyone stopped talking, and you could just feel the awkwardness in the room. I think she realized what she had said because she tried to backpedal, but the damage was done. I just stared at her in disbelief. She just kept trying to backpedal and saying I'm so sorry I just stood up and walked out. I didn't know what to say or do. I headed over to a buddy's house I was sober. I don't drink. I didn't tell him the story just that we had an argument, but I feel so violated by Amy Are you okay?

45:52Is the baby okay? And the baby's okay. But that thing is...

45:57Shayne Topp:Sorry. For the listeners at home, something in the backdrop fell and almost killed a man.

46:06Ian Hecox:All right. The sign is back up.

46:08Shayne Topp:Dare to Dairy. Okay. So the downtown Dairy Cows sign just dropped. I hope that's not a bad omen. That's a bad omen for you. It is a bad omen. It dropped. It means you guys are going to lose. Oh, no. It dropped again. It just dropped again. You're not going to win. I don't want to do sports.

46:24Ian Hecox:I'm not going to do games anymore. We are removing the downtown dairy cow sign because it fell again. And also you guys lost. So we might as well keep that up. Apparently you guys lost. Oh, you said the thing. That was so awkward.

46:38Shayne Topp:Okay. So anyway, back to the story. Guy has a little pee pee.

46:41Ian Hecox:Okay. We don't know that yet. Oh, we know. Okay. But she did say she insulted him horribly and he did walk out. He left.

46:49Shayne Topp:He left.

46:49Ian Hecox:Without a word and went to a buddy's house. He did not tell his buddy what happened. Now the back story here. What she said is most likely true. I am not in doubt at all. I have known this my whole life basically. Any guy can back me up when I say we are all conscious of our size. I'm just under three inches hard. I have always been super insecure about it. But our sex life also was never lacking because I made up for it in other ways in the bedroom. And she has never lacked in the orgasm department. We just get there other ways sometimes. Now, here is where I feel like the asshole. I want to divorce her.

47:24Ian Hecox:I feel so violated. I feel like I can never see these friends again. I feel like all they will be thinking about when I am around is her comment. But my asshole feeling comes in because I also have known for a long time that it is small. So I steered into the skis, I guess you could say, and am more submissive in the bedroom and enjoy it when she pokes fun at it in the bedroom. But that was just us. I just feel so violated with it now being public knowledge. But I also may have made my bed here by being okay with the dirty talk. I don't know. And for those wondering, yes, she has called and texted a ton yesterday apologizing for outing me.

47:57Ian Hecox:But I told her I needed space for a bit. Honestly, I don't even know if I'll read the replies. I just needed to vent this somewhere and I have no one to talk to about it. My buddy I'm staying with just thinks we had a fight. I feel so lost. I feel like an asshole. But just don't know if I can trust her again or feel secure enough to see any of them again. so okay so in the bedroom they dirty talk about his tiny penis yeah it's like a humiliation so she's she's used to saying shit like that yeah it's like a degradation i'm not i'm not hey i'm not giving her an excuse but you're saying when she was drunk she might have just like slipped into that but i don't know that's still bringing like a private bedroom thing no yeah all of this is all of this is so bad like so uncomfortable yeah i just i'm like him walking out, her saying it in front of the friends.

48:47I get it. I wouldn't want to return and show my face.

48:50Shayne Topp:I feel like he's reaching a bit when he's like I don't know if I can be friends with everyone again because all they're going to think about is my tiny little guy. But it's like literally if I found that out about my friend it would just be like, okay. And then we're still friends because my relationship to you has nothing to do with your wiener. Yeah. You know?

49:14Ian Hecox:I think it's totally it's I feel I mean it's it so much of what he's saying is true right of like the insecurity and what sucks is like it's a private thing so like you have this and just go well I'm the smallest in the world because you don't you're not out and about like we don't all just have our dongs out so you're not like seeing other people who look like you it's such a bummer but like I the thing is I think what is lacking here is like what's gonna be so hot is if he just fucking admits it and owns it and then goes back in there and goes, yeah, I do a small penis. Sorry. Yeah, I got a tiny penis.

49:51Ian Hecox:And it rocks. Yeah, exactly. Because she fucking loves it, okay? She's having a great time.

49:59Shayne Topp:I mean, he says there's no issues in the orgasm department. Exactly. So he could just come back and be like, yeah, I got it, tiny weird. You know what? She still comes. Whoa. I knew you were gonna say something.

50:14Ian Hecox:I think regardless of all of these things though, it's like your partner body shamed you in front of all your friends. And it's very awkward. And the way that I think it's like, oh, you did this in the bedroom because I asked you to and we agreed on this. But you saying it to friends comes across like, oh, how do you actually feel about me? Like, I don't even care how drunk you are. I'm like, wait, you're able to say that? You say the truth when you're drunk too. I know, but it's just like... But is this divorce worthy?

50:43Shayne Topp:I don't know. I don't. But I think it's just... He's so hurt. It is a disrespect thing, for sure. Definitely disrespect. But I think maybe they were just... I'm not trying to excuse what she said, but I think there were probably some wires crossed there because they were all drinking. She's used to her kind of like the degradation thing they do and then just let it slip out in public. I think it's just like... It's tricky. It's very embarrassing. It's embarrassing for both of them. But I think that's something that you could work through.

51:15Ian Hecox:I think it's really awful. And I think if I was his buddy, I'd be like, well, like, is this a completely isolated event? And otherwise, but if there is any sort of pattern here, that's, yeah. But it's really tough. Is this an overall thing that he feels he doesn't feel, like, good in the bedroom? Like, is he just now coming out being like, oh, wait, I actually don't feel that good in the bedroom. Because it's just kind of the last straw. Oh, it just makes you question everything now. Like, it's just like you're now the trust that it hurts your trust, right? It's a verdict is not the asshole. Comments, nah, man.

51:53Ian Hecox:She doubled down on her statement by saying, I'm so sorry, letting everyone know it was the truth. Just kidding, he's huge would have covered the backpedaling. She acknowledged it as true, and you leaving embarrassed tripled down the statement. Not the asshole, that was deliberate. Someone said, she violated your boundaries and humiliated you in front of your friends. Drunk or no, she showed a lack of respect for you, and respect is fundamental in a relationship. Whether you try to salvage this or not is up to you. I think that even if you do, you may need to find a new group of friends, and that is a big ask.

52:22Ian Hecox:I'm of the mind that the only antidote to public humiliation is public lionization in terms of her respect for you, but that won't change what the old friends heard. Either way, not the asshole. Lastly, someone said, not the asshole This is a deep hurt she rendered you In front of your friends, thinking what you think Feeling what you feel, those things never make you an asshole It takes actions to make you an asshole So if you do decide this is worthy of divorce Be clear with yourself as to what it will remedy And what it will not The words in company will never be unsaid So in terms of how you feel exposed in front of those friends Divorce will not help that If in all other ways, or enough other ways You have been happy in your marriage Then it may help you to get counseling for yourself and possibly yourselves as a couple.

53:04Ian Hecox:She may have been drunk, but she said it. She needs to take responsibility for it and uncover why she would say such a demeaning thing about you. Is there some unhappiness in your marriage that she was paying you back for? This is above Reddit's pay grade to fully resolve, but above all, you are not the asshole and you are enough. You are a man deserving of respect and love from your partner. I hope you find a way through to heal yourself. Therapist is back. Therapist is back. Love it. Update. Oh, shit. What? Long story short, we sat down to talk about everything. I'm going to give bullet points from the conversation because I don't think I could even begin to write out the whole conversation.

53:41Ian Hecox:I brought up how I felt exposed and humiliated by what happened. I explained that it was different from what we do in private. She agreed and understood where I was coming from. She apologized for saying it and admits that she wasn't really thinking about it because of the alcohol. She also told me that she really didn't know because while I may be smaller, I am good at ensuring she is happy. so she hasn't really used any or looked at any of those types of things. I do believe this because we have some things that haven't been used in years. We both agree that unrelated in totality to this issue, she has been drinking too much in general.

54:11Ian Hecox:I stopped drinking a long time ago for health reasons, and she is going to stop for the time being as well. We are both going to start individual counseling and then couples in a few weeks. We have our own issues and things to work on as well as our couple things. There were lots of emotions, tears, and some anger at times through the talk, but I think it helped us. For now, we move forward. I don't know exactly what I feel, but know that I also have to fix myself and my mind. Not really a conclusive thing, but it is where we are, and we feel like we are going to be okay. Thanks again. Very healthy.

54:43Yeah, that's great. I'm really glad that it just didn't end it, you know?

54:47Ian Hecox:Yeah. I think he wrote that afterwards where he was just really feeling a lot and stuff. So I'm happy for him. Always something else, though, the drinking. Yeah, yeah. All right, it's time for our final story. Oh. Am I the asshole? I didn't attend my son's wedding. I instead spent the evening with his ex-wife. Okay, so... What? Oh. Here we go. Okay. All right. Quick backstory. After graduating high school, my son moved three states away for college. At 19, he married a girl he met. I tried convincing him to wait because I personally felt he was too immature. They both dropped out and moved back here to his hometown.

55:25Ian Hecox:At 20, they had their first child. a beautiful little girl. 16 months later, my daughter-in-law gave birth to their second child, a little boy. After the first baby, my wife and I noticed our daughter-in-law wasn't happy. We both thought it was PPD related. Just after the second arrived, my son and his wife separated. She would bring the kids over for a visit. It was then she began unloading on us. I know there's two sides to every story, but considering I know my son, I believed her. I sat my son down numerous times to speak with him regarding his marriage. He refused to take responsibility, blamed her for everything, even when I directly pointed out where he was the sole problem.

55:59Ian Hecox:They got into counseling. For a year, things were okay on the surface. Our daughter-in-law filed for divorce. My son, three days later, was on Facebook announcing his new girlfriend. A month later, they were engaged. My son had forced his then-wife to become a permanent stay-at-home mom at the birth of their first child. She, of course, had no other family or friends here. She knew no one aside from us. She had nowhere to go with two small children. Unbeknownst to our son, my wife and I helped her financially and got her an apartment. Before the divorce was even finalized, we received a wedding invitation.

56:30Ian Hecox:I made it clear to my son I would not be attending and they would not have my blessing. His mother told him she would see to it that I would attend. I stayed consistent in my decision. I also asked him not to bring his fiance around our house out of respect for the mother of his children. The wedding happened on February 11th. The night before, my wife gave me the final push. I did not attend. Our daughter also did not attend for the same reasons. My wife picked up our grandkids, got them dressed and attended the wedding. My daughter and I decided to spend the evening with his ex. I couldn't imagine her sitting alone while her kids attended their father's wedding.

57:02Ian Hecox:She was taken aback that I didn't end up attending his wedding. We took her out to distract her mind. I just wanted her to know she'll always be considered family to us. My daughter also made a joke that they can drop the in-law status and just be sisters now. She was very tearfully grateful. I realized just how badly she needed our support and specifically on that night. The next morning, my son called to tell me how much of a horrible father I am for not attending his wedding. A few days later, he caught wind that I spent the wedding evening with his ex. He said that was the ultimate form of betrayal, and further myself and his sister would have to earn a relationship with him on his terms only.

57:37Wowee. Whoa. The father sounds like a sweet, sweet man. Yeah. And I understand where he's at. He's trying to protect his grandchildren. He's trying to protect that relationship.

57:52Ian Hecox:Yeah. That's really hard. And his son is such a mess. I mean, yeah, wow, he moves fast.

58:00Shayne Topp:A wee bit impulsive.

58:02Ian Hecox:They did not give us the details on where his son is solely in the wrong. They just said, like, we believe that he is solely in the wrong. I'm like, for the parents to quickly be like, he is in the wrong and we are completely on our ex's side. It's like, what is going on? That's why it's hard to comment on. All right, so there's some comments. Okay. Info. What were the circumstances of the divorce? Did your son cheat, abuse her, etc.? I agree that it isn't great how he's abandoning her and his children. But what happened? OP responds, It was mostly about control. She was blonde when they married.

58:35Ian Hecox:When they moved here, she was brunette. After the kids, she wanted to go blonde again, but he told her no. She gained weight after having the babies. He was mad at her for not trying harder to lose it. As he said, he didn't marry a fat woman. He wouldn't let her leave the house. She basically had to give him a daily schedule of what she was doing and where she was going. He wouldn't allow her to make friends. She wanted to get a little part-time job after the baby was born. He told her she wasn't allowed to do that. It was basically a marriage where he created rules for her to follow, but he could do whatever he wanted.

59:03Ian Hecox:He wouldn't help with the kids, meals, or housework. He made her do it all, even through both pregnancies. I'm embarrassed he's my son. I'm just thankful she doesn't judge me for the way he is. I thought going off to college would make him mature. I didn't expect him to marry so quickly.

59:18Shayne Topp:So your husband's the devil.

59:20Ian Hecox:It's like textbook.

59:22Shayne Topp:It's like textbook abuser stuff. And also it kind of makes sense because he goes, now you have to have a relationship with me on my terms. Like he kind of does everything with control. Ew.

59:34Ian Hecox:Someone else said, so he was cheating and married the girl he cheated on his ex-wife with? Hell the fuck no, not the asshole. OP said he swore he wasn't cheating. I'm sorry, but if my marriage fails, well it hasn't, but I would do everything I could to prevent that. But I sure as hell wouldn't be calling 1-800-FIND-A-BRIDE, Especially with kids involved. There's so many reasons I couldn't attend his wedding I felt like it was a huge slap in his young children's face. He provided them an unstable household Then overnight daddy has a new step mommy for you. He was without a doubt cheating his ex knew it I had even asked if there was someone else, but he swore there wasn't it's very abusive also to Not let your partner have friends.

1:00:13That's oh my god. That's like the textbook. Yeah of an abusive relationship.

1:00:17Shayne Topp:Also, no. Dictating their appearance. No partner should ever tell you how you should wear your hair. Oh, my God. No, no, no.

1:00:25Ian Hecox:Like, come on. It's an immediate red flag. Yeah. Someone said, don't think you'll regret this anytime soon. You did the right thing. You all know this new marriage is going to be a dumpster fire too, right? Not the asshole. Your daughter-in-law is lucky to have you. OP said, yes, I can hope it'll work out, but I know the odds are horribly against a successful long-term marriage. After his engagement, take two. I messaged him and told him he should slow it down, seek some counseling, and work on himself before jumping too fast into another relationship. He won't listen to a single thing I have to say.

1:00:53Ian Hecox:I'm 47, and I've been with one woman my entire life, his mother. We're not perfect, but I must be doing something right. I can't imagine jumping from relationship to relationship, especially while kids are involved. My wife and I have had some boo-boos, but we always work things out, and neither of us ever thought about cheating or even separating. This is wild. I mean this this this is like, you know that he sounds so different from his parents But the sister is against him as well. Yeah, and the sister's like And that's showing me more.

1:01:24Shayne Topp:Yeah, it's like this just feels just feels I think it's yeah update

1:01:30Ian Hecox:First I'd like to sincerely thank each and every one of you for your support encouragement and all the awards I know without a doubt I did the right thing I even feel differently now his mother should not have attended either but we can't go back and undo that. So my son saw the post. I had sent my daughter the link yesterday so she could read the comments. This morning, she texted me at work, Dad, you went viral, lol. But anyways, he sent screenshots of the post and all my comments to his mom. He also told her, he's dead to me now. Time will tell if he means that. I'm sure he'll see this update too.

1:01:58Ian Hecox:For that reason, I'm positively certain the second he needs another cash loan, I won't be dead anymore. His mom told him, your children have to be our number one priority. They're not just some disposable items you can leave behind when one chapter of your life closes. Maybe one day he'll understand this. So, okay, so OP is the dad, and he's saying his wife is still supporting the son. Yeah. She brought the kids to his wedding. Yeah, so they're not in full agreement. But it sounds like the mom also said to the son. That the children are the priority.

1:02:30Shayne Topp:It sounds to me like she's trying to be the peacekeeper. Yeah. You know? Yeah, she doesn't want to lose her son.

1:02:37Ian Hecox:It's so different from what we usually see on Reddit and that they're supporting the ex-wife who dealt with the victim, you know, in all of this.

1:02:50Shayne Topp:I mean, I think they feel some form of responsibility since they are their grandchildren. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's great. I think it's really great that they are taking that side and kind of supporting her because it sounds like she doesn't have any support.

1:03:04Ian Hecox:Yeah. Oof. Well. Rough. Yeah. Can't wait. Absolutely. That was some betrayal. Betrayal. That was intense. Just like Summer Games. Dude.

1:03:15Shayne Topp:Yeah, you lost. There was some serious betrayal. Somebody rigged that sign to fall. I just know. No, that's just a sign. No, somebody at the Hollywood Hot Dogs came in here to try to stir some shit with the downtown dairy cows because they can't handle losing to us. Isn't it weird?

1:03:33Ian Hecox:I'm just thinking about this. Isn't it weird that this is all, Summer Games is ending on a video where we don't know what's about to happen. It's like full circle. Like we're back here, but we're seeing the signs. That's all going to make sense. The signs. We don't have the context yet for that. Yeah. But it's going to make sense. And someone's in that locker. Let him out. Tommy. Tommy. Come on up. And he's just like. Wow, that betrayal story. Yeah. Well, thank you both for being here, for this is great. I'm forever changed. This is a rough one. Yeah. Yeah. Well. Well. Anyways, I hope you guys watched Summer Games and if not, please check it out.

1:04:17Ian Hecox:It was a blast, I'm sure. And of course, we'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye. Bye. Bye.