Dark Energy Tuesday (Jake Shane, Girls Gotta Eat, “All’s Fair,” Ansel Elgort, Shay Mitchell)

21:30Jake Shane:Flower crown with like the skull. Also like, oh my God, it's so 2012. I haven't seen that costume in so long because people know now that it's not appropriate. Exactly. And I think not only is it appropriating the culture and Dia de los Muertos kind of not that sound, but also the way that she dressed herself is hyper sexualized. She's wearing this corset, literally looks like lingerie with her face just dolled up in the Halloween makeup. So I'm not a Latina woman. I wanted to ask one of my very good friends who's Mexican. I was like, hey, I know you don't follow this influencer. Can you just tell me what do you think about this costume?

22:07Just as a Latina woman, what is your POV? And she's like, Jesus, are people still doing this? Yes, this is offensive in my opinion. And to sexualize the costume makes it much worse. On one side, I'm glad Mexican culture is getting attention. I just wish people actually educated themselves on it beyond just a cute outfit or pretty makeup. Day of the Dead is a sacred time and goes beyond a costume. It's 2025. How do you not know better? So that's just from my Mexican friend's point of view. And people were calling her out they were all over her comments saying this is very tone deaf why are you wearing this this is not a sleigh and I felt like the outfit was more to showcase her body than it was like the outfit and it must be said Reyna's post-ozempic body is so freaking triggering to me and I found her to be insufferable to follow at this point certain people I think a lot of people like Remy Bader for instance when you have a woman who's a bit who's thicker or who has a bigger body lives in a bigger body.

22:59When they go on Ozempic, it almost becomes part of their personality. Remy Bader, SFK, Reina have come to mind. I just feel like every time I go on to Reina's Instagram, it's all body checking photos and her just looking so small and tiny and fragile. And I'm just over it. I don't really want to watch her anymore. I kind of want to unfollow her.

23:20Jake Shane:Oh, you should. You should absolutely. I encourage everyone listening to this to unfollow anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself or who triggers you because they're constantly body checking and being obsessed with their bodies on social media. Definitely unfollow her. I was never a Girls Gotta Eat listener. I have never really paid attention to these two. Sure. So I just feel like they're both kind of lame. I mean, I'm happy for Ashley getting married, but like Reena's costume, again, so 2012, like what are you doing here? Yeah, I agree. And I was thinking about it. I'm not perfect, too.

23:54Like, if someone really went through all my Instagrams with my Mexican friend, she did my Dia de los Muertos makeup for Halloween, I think, in 2014 or whatever.

24:01Jake Shane:Yeah, 2014. Yeah. But my Mexican friend did my makeup, and I was certainly not hyper-sexualizing my outfit alongside the costume. So, I don't know. I'm just really over Raina. And I think it wasn't necessarily a bad interaction. It was just I could tell she could not be bothered with, quote-unquote, fans. and the few times I run into baby snarks on the street, it's like the coolest thing. And I don't ever imagine it being not a cool thing. Like I think it's really cool that we're on people's ears and people, when they see us in real life, it's like cool for them. I will never get tired of that.

24:34And if anyone approaches me, I will be very gracious and nice. And Ashley was, Raina was not. So that's just my anecdote. Wanted to call that out.

24:41Jake Shane:I will say, yeah, it'll never get old when baby snarks come up to us. I will say though that everyone has bad days, not to play devil's advocate in Marina's defense. It's like she could have been having a bad day. Maybe I feel like taking one interaction. I don't want to like cast judgment on her for that one interaction and act like she's a bitch. But like, it sounds like she was kind of kind of rude. But I know that people have bad days. You know, when you see those de moi like sightings where it's like so and so I went up to Glenn Powell and he was such an asshole. And it's like, well, what was going on for him that day?

25:14Jake Shane:you know? I guess there's also like, if it's a celebrity that I don't like, if it's like Kendall Jenner, I'm like, yeah, she's a bitch. Yeah. We were also at a club. So it's like, they were like Raven, you know, like it wasn't like I was approaching her at a coffee shop. Right. You know what I mean? If you're an excess at the winds or encore. So I was like, come on, we're all like party rocking over here. Let's like get into groove. Now a quick ad break to talk about Bourne Shoes. I'm going to tell you guys an embarrassing secret that I don't talk a lot about on the pod. My driver's license has been expired for years now.

25:47Jake Shane:It's so embarrassing, I know, but I've lived in New York for 11 years and just haven't had a reason to drive in forever. Don't judge me, please. So basically, I'm so used to walking literally everywhere, usually with my boy Baxter, and I'm constantly on the hunt for shoes that are comfortable, walkable, but also cute slash dressy enough for work or nice dinners. That's why I'm so happy I finally discovered Bourne Shoes. I was looking for a pair of brown suede loafers for so long, but every pair I could find online was so expensive and honestly probably uncomfortable, but I'm obsessed with my new ones from Born Shoes.

26:22Jake Shane:They're lightweight, supportive, and extremely comfortable with this incredible padded insole. These loafers are perfect for my lifestyle and they look stylish. I'm not exaggerating when I say I can walk miles in them and easily dress them up for work. And all of their styles are made from the best top quality leather. Take comfort in Born Shoes. Go to born shoes.com today for 15 % off discount plus free ground shipping on all full price shoes. When you use our promo code snark, that's promo code snark for 15 % off and free shipping available exclusively to our listeners for just a limited time.

26:58Jake Shane:Now a quick ad break to talk about factor. I know I'm not alone when I say it suddenly feels like life is just crazier than ever. For me, it's this work, the pod, trying to have a social life, keeping my skin moisturized, making sure Henry doesn't feel like a neglected husband. I truly feel busier than ever for better or for worse. And I'm sure a ton of you feel the exact same way. That's why Factor is perfect. I don't have the time to cook lately. I'm also just not a good cook in general, but I always feel like it's better when I eat something at home versus ordering in or eating out. So Factors meals are chef prepped and dietitian approved and make it easy to stay healthy and on track even during the busy seasons of life.

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29:46Christy Noel:shop now at fabletics.com slash snark to get 70 to 80 percent off everything when you sign up as a new vip take a really quick style quiz and be sure to select snark when prompted to unlock this offer this is a limited time offer so don't wait again that's fabletics.com slash snark for 70 to 80 percent off everything as a new vip okay what do you want to talk about next i would love to talk

30:07Jake Shane:about Jake Shane's new TV show. We got so many DMS about this. So Jake Shane, AKA past that puss, he got a new Hulu comedy show based on his life. And so according to variety, the therapist, podcaster and comedian, Jake Shane has signed on to executive produce and star in a Hulu half hour comedy based on his life, the series and development from blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, stars Jake Shane playing a version of himself and his best friends as they navigate the chaotic new world of online fame, the strain it puts on their friendships and the tension their presence causes in their suburban neighborhood.

30:50Jake Shane:I'm sorry, what about Jake Shane's life is interesting enough to warrant a TV show? He was a wealthy, connected white kid who went to USC and now has pretty friends who all became influencers along with him. What about that? What am I missing? I cannot stand him. And he had Hilary Duff. This will be a couple of days late now, but Hilary Duff released her newest EP, Mature, and in promoting the song, Jake Shane had her on the show. And I already know if this were any other podcaster, even Call Her Daddy, I would watch it. Just because I know how Jake Shane interviews in that couple of interviews I've watch, I will gain nothing from this interview.

31:32At least with Color Daddy, I get some nuggets of information. With Jake Shane, it's nothing. And again, stop appropriating our culture. Our culture is not your culture. Oh, millennial culture.

31:40Jake Shane:Yeah. You were not there. Yeah. When he was like, oh my God, pretending to type on a Nokia phone. I'm like, wait, you are 12 years old. You never owned a Nokia phone. I guarantee it. And did he see Cinderella story when Hillary Duff was sitting on the recess benches? That is something that just bothers me about him. And you guys know this, that he pretends he's a millennial sometimes. I'm sorry that we millennials have the best nostalgia and culture and things that we're nostalgic about. I don't know how to describe it. It's like the millennial stuff. He is not a millennial. I'm sorry. I get very territorial over things like Laguna Beach, The Hills, Hillary Duff, Nokia phones.

32:23Was he playing Snake? No. on his nokia brick absolutely not so yeah i'm very confused about this i just don't understand

32:32Jake Shane:what is so interesting about him what am i missing i understand people enjoying his humor in his tiktoks but a show about his life being a well-connected wealthy his dad i think is a screenwriter and his mom's a columnist for the washington post i want to say we did an episode So we did a deep dive. Basically, his parents are well connected in the biz. He went to USC. So he is connected to Olivia Jade, Sophia Richie. Glenn Powell now. Kaya Gerber. Yeah, he's friends with all these celebrities. What about that come up is interesting? It's not like a rags to riches story. When I asked Maria, my Gen Z correspondent, who's obsessed with Jake Shane, she actually suggested for Snark Bay, she goes, you guys should do an episode on Jake Shane and friends.

33:20and his whole influencer crew, like Julia Mervis and Brett Chote, et cetera. Yeah. But I was like, what about him is so titillating to you? Like, why do you love him so much? She's such a big fan. And she goes, I just find him to be so goddamn funny.

33:34Jake Shane:I don't. But again, maybe I'm just not the target audience there. Let us know, you guys. Are you going to tune in to Jake Shane's new show? People think he's trying to be Benny Drama's overcompensating. I mean, I'm sure. But Benny Drama's overcompensating was actually hilarious. because Benny Drama is actually talented and funny. I'm obsessed. Benny Drama is who Jake Shane wishes he could be. Oh, 100%. Can we please cover and talk about Ashley Benson and Brandon Davis's recent Halloween photos? Yes, I haven't heard those names in years. Why does he look like Handsome Squidward suddenly? He's gotten some work done for sure.

34:13Jake Shane:1000%. Because I remember when he was with Paris Hilton back in the day. And Misha Barton as well. Yes. And he, according to this blog, D-Listed, that I used to read, I don't think you read D-Listed, right? I was only Perez Hilton girl. Yeah. It was along with Perez Hilton. I would read D-Listed. And D-Listed would call him Greasy Bear, I think. I forget why. Oh, because he was greasy. But I forget where the bear comes from. He was always so greasy and puffy looking. And now he just looks like snatched. You know? Yeah. Like maybe the Bradley Cooper special. Yeah. Ashley Benson's career trajectory has always been incredibly sad to me because she was like a kid model.

34:52She had done some commercials and obviously her breakout role on Pretty Little Liars. I forget, were you a PLL girl?

35:00Jake Shane:I watched the first season and then I fell off. So not really. Well, you know, I love like dark mystery and that was perfect for like my millennial young adult self. I loved her and Trojan Belsario's character and I actually found her to be a pretty talented actress. I felt like she had the chops and she could have done a lot with her career post PLL, but I feel like her and Lucy Hill have kind of fallen into this trap where every endeavor that they do, it's never really taken seriously. And Lucy Hill is often in these like direct to DVD type movies, these rom-coms, but neither of them have really hit their stride.

35:32I think Shane Mitchell was really the one to come out of PLL like even bigger than she was on the show with base. And we can talk about it. Yeah.

35:40Jake Shane:And that's also because she's like, she started a business that she's passionate about. She's not trying to like just focus on acting. Like she's a billionaire from her business. Exactly. She was able to turn influencing into a full-blown brand business. And now she's probably wealthier than all the girls combined. Yeah. Well, now that Ashley's married to Brandon Davis, probably not. But I think that Ashley Benson has always felt very dark to me. And I think part of that is because she's always incredibly private about her dating life and her personal life. She dated James Franco when her and Selena Gomez were filming Spring Breakers back in like 2015 or whatever.

36:15Cara Delevingne, who has known for, she's had some struggles with substances.

36:21Jake Shane:And they had that photo op where they were carrying like a sex swing. Yes. G-Eazy, who we all know is like super heavy into drugs. Halsey's talked about that in her songs as well. And she just has had really dark relationships to me. And Brandon Davis is no different. If you guys are unfamiliar with Brandon Davis, he was the one who, and Troy McKeady from Beyond the Blind said it so well. He's like, TMZ went viral because of the Brandon Davis video. Fire crotch. Lindsay Lohan's a fire crotch. And Paris also is in the back giggling. That video kind of blew TMZ up. And other than that, no one really knows who Brandon Davis is other than being kind of this latcher on to the Hiltons and to Misha Garton.

37:00But if you guys are unfamiliar with who Brandon Davis is and why he was even connected with Paris to begin with, it's because his grandfather is a guy named Martin Davis. And he built his wealth through a lot of lucrative businesses, most importantly, like oil. He was like heavy into the oil industry and he became a billionaire because of it. He ended up selling his oil holdings in the early 1980s. He began investing in entertainment and real estate companies in LA, such as 20th Century Fox, Pebble Beach Company, the Aspen Skiing Company, and the Beverly Hills Hotel. So Brandon Davis is tried and true a Nepo baby.

37:33He comes from a billionaire family. That's why he was so well connected to the Hiltons back in like early 2000s. But in any event, I was comparing a Halloween picture of Brandon and Ashley, who they're now married to the TLDR. They just had a baby in February, I think, of this year or last year. If you look at a picture of Ashley and Brandon from last Halloween to this Halloween, they both look so different.

37:57Jake Shane:It's like sad. Oh, God. Wait, I'm just now zooming in on the old picture compared to the new picture. That is sad because now she has, I mean, he looks like Handsome Squidward, like we said. But she has that really overfilled face now that like she's not going to get any acting roles. The acting career is done. It's like the filler and then the buckle fat removal. It appears she got in the hollows of her cheeks. And like her nose looks way too small. It's just overdone. And it makes her look so much older because she's not even old. How old is Ashley? I think she's 35 or 36. Oh, my God. That's so sad.

38:35Jake Shane:She's 35. that is like so sad because she looks 50 she could be yeah i was like she could be 45 only because of the work she's gotten done she's always been literally a gorgeous girl she's i loved her because she was always so naturally just pretty yeah i like she had a full face she had like a curvy body but like in the right ways and now she just looks so gaunt and emaciated she might be on ozempic i don't know what's going on but she does not look well and it could be a combination of the fillers, the surgeries, Ozempic, alleging maybe, I don't know, drug use, or I don't know what's going on.

39:09She just is not the same girl that I used to watch on my television screen in college.

39:14Jake Shane:It looks like they went to the same terrible plastic surgeon that needs to be, what's the word for like disbarred? The license needs to be revoked. License, license revoked. Yeah. And with his amount of money, they can afford better surgery than this. like it's just yeah they're on the verge of looking really botched and the thing with ashley is i don't think she ever needs to work a day in her life again because she's married to like the most money ever yeah that's true so like she's not concerned about acting roles anyway yeah what do you want to talk about next i want to talk about ansel elgort so ansel elgort if you guys remember was accused of being inappropriate with underage girls, Snapchatting them, being sexual, even accused of assaulting allegedly underage girls.

40:09Jake Shane:Yep. Just to jog your memory, a Twitter user in 2020 accused Ansel Elgort. This is trigger warning. This contains... This is horrible. Yeah. Yeah. Contains disturbing graphic content. Yeah. Yeah, so a Twitter user in 2020 accused Ansel Elgort of sexually assaulting her in 2014 when she was 17 and he was 20. She said she DM'd him as a fan and he answered and knew she was a teenager, knew that she was a virgin. She said that she was in pain and he was forcing himself on her. And a lot of people have receipts of him being just really creepy over Snapchat saying, you've ever been with an older guy?

40:50Jake Shane:and someone saying, I'm going to be in 11th grade and him saying, Snapchat me. Like him knowing that these girls were underage. So basically he got quote unquote canceled for good reason. He was being a disgusting creep. Unfortunately, he is back to being cast in things. He will star in the new movie, Dinner with Audrey, alongside Thomasin McKenzie. The film is based on the true story of the 40 year friendship of Audrey Hepburn, who is played by McKenzie and designer Count Hubert de Givenchy, who will be played by Ansel Elgort. And then Stoker Cohen on Twitter tweeted, quote tweeted this news that came out on November 3rd and tweeted, can't believe that I reported him almost six years ago and he's still able to have an acting career.

41:37Jake Shane:Please don't ever say allegations ruin men's lives. So. It's giving Chris Brown how like he can still sell out stadiums and everyone forgets that he beat the shit out of Rihanna. Yeah. Ansel Al Gore is disgusting. I remember too, he had a very long-term girlfriend. I think her name was like Violetta or something like that. Yeah, Violetta Comey, Sean. I used to follow her. And then I was like, you're annoying. Are they still together? No, they broke up around the time the allegations came out. Yeah. Because I hadn't followed her. I don't know what she's been up to, but yeah, they were like goals.

42:09Jake Shane:They were a couple goals. He was like the hot young thing. He was going to be the next big movie star. And it's so funny because he was in the same, I believe the same graduating class of LaGuardia High School as Timothee Chalamet. No way. Yeah. And so he, Ansel Elgort was supposed to be that he was the breakout star of their graduating class. A lot of performers come from LaGuardia High School in Manhattan, but of course it ended up being Timothee Chalamet. Ansel Elgort kneecapped his own career by being a fucking creep and a alleged rapist and horrible person. But he at one point was going to be like the biggest movie star on the planet.

42:50Yeah, he. I hate to say this because I love The Vault in Our Stars. I think it's such a good movie. You would. You would.

43:01Jake Shane:Is that not like universally beloved? loved. Not my world, not in the world I'm living in. I watched it on a plane. I was hysterical. Oh my God. That does not surprise me. Hysterical. But other than that, he's always given me just like this insidious energy and you can just look at him and you know he's weird. Oh, a hundred percent. Now I feel like obviously hindsight is 20, 20 and we know he's a creep, but now every time I look at him, I'm like, oh, oh, he's just rose. I'm trying. I'm looking at his Wikipedia. I'm like, what else has he even been? He was in Tokyo Vice, which was a show on, I think, HBO.

43:43Jake Shane:And that was in 2022 through 2024. So he even after these accusations were coming out, he was still he was also in West Side Story, wasn't he? Which ended up being a flop. And he wasn't even on the press tour because that's when all the allegations started. Yeah. Yeah. And he's somehow still getting cast in things. So again, never say that, that allegations ruin men's lives. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So can you walk me through, we have so many other things. What do you want to do? Cause I was like, I kind of want to hear about Emily J, but I, okay. This is a fun one. Okay. So this is a silly influencer thing.

44:22Jake Shane:Cause I know that you guys like when we talk about the niche random influencers that average people on the street do not know about. Emma Lager, as you guys know, is like one of my favorite influencers to follow. She finally moved into a New York City apartment, a real one. She recently moved to the city just a couple months ago and was living in like a temporary furnished apartment for a few months. and she was like, this is just temporary until I find something more permanent. She just got the keys to her new, really fancy, I think it's like$10 ,000 a month, gorgeous high-rise apartment. And there is no sign of her bringing her cat, Pippa.

45:09Jake Shane:And we talked about this when she first moved to New York and was living in a temporary apartment. She was like, Pippa's really old, so it's just not good for her. She's originally from Vancouver for context and backstory. She's originally from Vancouver and she was like, Pippa's really old and this is just temporary. I will probably bring her when I move to somewhere more permanent. It's clear that she's not bringing Pippa to New York at all, even though she's moving into now a permanent, not forever permanent, but long term. She has signed a year long lease. So that's kind of dark energy, in my opinion, just leaving her cat.

45:42Jake Shane:And I understand what is easiest for the cat. Let's think of the well-being of the cat. I completely get that. and that will always be her response. But part of me is like, I feel like you just don't want to be bothered, you know? Yeah, I think it's really unsettling when influencers adopt animals simply for content. I mean, we've said it with SFK many a time. So bring Poncho and haul him over across the Atlantic to Italy when it's certainly not in Poncho's wellbeing to be like strapped from country to country just for your Instagram. it's so dark sided. And again, we always talk about Logan Paul adopting that pig and then leaving that pig like in the middle of a field in like Puerto Rico.

46:25Just it's so horrible. It makes me so sad. Animals are truly defenseless. And for you to just say, it doesn't match my content anymore. Peace out.

46:36Jake Shane:Yeah, exactly. Pets are literally accessories to these influencers and it makes me really upset. And also I obviously would never, ever, ever be in a situation where I would be abandoning, moving without Baxter. I think that goes without saying. Say that, God forbid, years down the line, he is in the twilight of his life. I don't even want to think about it. I'm going to cry. If I knew that I only had a limited amount of time left with this animal that I love so much, there is no chance I would be moving anywhere without him. I'm like, yeah, she's old. Your cat is old. Doesn't that make you want to spend more time with her instead of abandoning her?

47:13Jake Shane:And I guess she's like, well, my family's in Vancouver. They're going to take care of her. And I don't know. It kind of gives me the ick. And the other thing that's given me the ick with her is that she just met her new boyfriend less than six months ago. And now she's moving to New York for him. And I feel like it's kind of cringe that she has made this new boyfriend her entire personality after less than six months. And she went through her breakup with her ex-boyfriend of four years just in March. just in March of this year. And now if you go to her feed, it's all boyfriend content. So she really didn't have that single girl era.

47:52Jake Shane:She was like, oh my God, I'm in my single girl era. That lasted five minutes. And it gives insecure, you know, like, it's just like, you can't be without a guy for five minutes. Now you're already moving cities, moving countries for him. She moved from Canada to the U S to New York for him. I still like her. I'm still going to follow her. But those two things I feel like are just very cringe. And that's your little niche influencer update. Yeah, I know you've always been a huge fan of her, but I've always found her content to be a little bit. I don't know. Not like unrelatable because no influencer is supposed to be relatable.

48:31I just never felt connected to her. She felt very fake to me.

48:35Jake Shane:Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like one of those lives where it's like, OK, you're just picking up and moving into a$10 ,000 apartment that you're not even really going to live in because all you do is jet set around the world. It's not a relatable lifestyle. And I think that that's kind of why she's fun to follow for me because it's very aspirational. It's voyeuristic following these influencers whose lives are completely ridiculous and insane. But I always thought that she was a competent girl. I'm like jumping into a relationship that fast. And I'm sorry, maybe it sounds like I'm being judgmental.

49:08Jake Shane:But like, I don't think you're being judgmental. I think her moving countries so quickly, coupled with the fact that she's willing to kind of leave her animal behind. For a guy that she's known for less than six months. Yes, those two things coupled together would make, I think, anyone with a bit of a heart and like a warm heart towards animals uncomfortable. Yeah, I don't know, man. Now, a quick ad break to talk about Olive and June. If you guys know anything about us and our dark energy objects, it's that we hate going to the nail salon. It's boring. It's not relaxing. And two and a half hours to sit at a salon?

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52:58Sometimes I really just need an extra hand for those little things I feel like I never end up getting around to myself, like hanging the collage wall I promised myself I'd do for months. Wherever you are, TaskRabbit is here to help. TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area for moving, furniture assembly, home repairs, yard work, mounting, you name it. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence so they know what they're doing. Taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700 ,000 home repairs, handled 1.5 million moves, and counting.

53:33It's okay to ask for help with your to-do list. In fact, it's the most efficient way to get things done, in my humble opinion. When life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get$15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or on the TaskRabbit app using promo code SNARK. Taskers book up fast, especially for same-day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That's$15 off your first task using promo code SNARK with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. So good, so good, so good. New summer arrivals are at Nordstrom Rack stores now. Get ready to save big with up to 60 % off brands like Rag & Bone, Levi's, Adidas, and Free People.

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54:25Jake Shane:Should we talk about Shay Mitchell really fast? Oh my god. So have you guys seen her Instagram? She was teasing this new brand. Excuse me. Let me actually go onto the Instagram so I'm actually speaking about this correctly. Something gentle, something new launching tomorrow at Rennie, R-I-N-I. And she is getting eaten alive because the Instagram photo alongside this caption is of like a toddler. This little girl looks like she's maybe four. I don't know if this is Shay's kid or if this is AI generated. Who knows? But there's this little kid on the photo with a sheet mask over her face, a skincare sheet mask.

54:59And Shane Mitchell is getting eaten alive on the comments. Absolutely missed the mark. Children do not need skincare. I'm deeply disappointed. Oh, wait, wait.

55:08Jake Shane:I feel like we kind of like missed what the brand is. It's a skincare brand for kids. Yes. Just for context. At Rennie is a skincare brand for kids. Thank you. Yeah. And people are pissed because they're like, I'm deeply disappointed. Why are we projecting beauty standards onto our children now? Yikes. Maybe read the room. People are losing healthcare and food benefits. Maybe not the best time to sell skincare for toddlers. oh I think that the beauty industry has just gotten so out of control over the last even like three four years yeah in fact I was at Sephora the other day and I was trying to grab a product and or like test this product and there was like a line because people wanted to go to this area and I literally got shoved by like I don't know this girl might have been 12 she's excuse me move oh my god elbowed everyone out of line just cut everyone and just started like perusing the shelves.

55:59And I couldn't even imagine doing like looking for I didn't even wear makeup until much later in life. And I think just the way that we consume and TikTok and social media allows us to learn how to do makeup now, which is great. But I think that we're teaching these kids at such a young age that beauty is such a priority. And not only like is makeup such a priority or being attentive towards the male gaze or being like pretty to show up when you go to school or to work. But now we're pushing those standards and those beauty expectations onto our toddlers like this girl on the Instagram photo looks for.

56:28I don't know. I don't like that. And I don't I don't know if this almost feels like rage bait. Shane Mitchell and her team had to have known that if they were going to release something in this political climate, people were going to have something to say like these comments shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that looked at this. And in my opinion, you shouldn't be focusing your attention like baby skins are very delicate. You cannot apply the same serums and everything that you do to your adult skin to your child's skin. And I think above all else, you need to talk with your dermatologist.

56:57You need to talk with a healthcare professional, with a pediatrician. Do not listen to Shay Mitchell. This is giving Kylie baby, honestly. And it's giving me incredibly dark energy.

57:06Jake Shane:Oh, it's very dark sided. And yeah, I mean, I think you hit the nail on the head. Why are we trying to encourage? We're already in a culture where 12 year olds are shopping at Sephora. That was not our lives growing up.

57:20Christy Noel:I went to Target and was like, Maybelline, whoa.

57:23Jake Shane:Yeah, exactly. Like skincare was not like in my vocabulary at 12 years old. Now we're literally encouraging five-year-olds to start with skincare. And I think the whole concept is maybe like, well, they see their mommy doing sheet masks and doing skincare routine. So they can do skincare with their mommy, but it's actually safe. And it's like, why can't we just tell children? No, this is mommy's activity doing skincare. You just don't, you can't do it. Sorry. Like, why are we creating a whole skincare line for kids just to make them feel like, oh, they can do skincare like their mommy? I doubt it's doing anything.

58:00Jake Shane:They already have all the collagen they'll ever have at age five. Okay. They don't need skincare. Their skin is perfect. It's capitalism at its finest. You're trying to prey on, first it was women's weight. Now it's women's like beauty. Now it's women's skincare. Children's insecurities. Like they're trying to profit from children being insecure about their skin. Exactly. And if you do not buy this sheet mask that Shay Mitchell is pushing, then your kid is going to feel left out and his or her skin will not be as nice and glazed as her classmates. It's just so preposterous and disgusting. The concept of a nine-year-old having glazed skin?

58:38They probably are. Like, I'm genuinely interested in, like, baby snarks who have kids that are elementary school age that are showing up to school. Do you feel like there is a beauty? Because, I mean, Sophie and I don't have nine-year-old, like, young kids. We don't know if they're going to school having all this pressure to look a certain way or their skin to look a certain way.

58:55Jake Shane:No. Ugh. Ugh. Hate it. Should we move on to dark energy objects? Yes. Yes. Let's do it. I was howling at your lines. Okay. So I have a couple. And they're kind of related. So first of all, grocery shopping at Target. It feels wrong. Unfortunately, I, unlike Emma LeJay, I bring my animal everywhere with me, which I know I'm one of those. I know it's bad, but I don't bring him anywhere where he doesn't belong. I don't bring him to real grocery stores, which is why I am so often grocery shopping at Target because it's the only place I can bring Baxter. And just for context, I don't like to leave Baxter alone for a couple of reasons.

59:36Jake Shane:He cries at the door if we leave him alone. and our 95 year old neighbor said that he will report us to the building if he cries next to the door which is what he does when we leave him which I know is like it's our own fault for not training him better to be able to be alone to be a more independent little boy so we have to put him in a crate when we do leave him which makes me sad of course so I'm sorry I just like I'm we're attached at the hip so I bring him everywhere it turns out that I have to grocery shop at Target quite often. And there is something so deeply unsettling about grocery shopping at Target.

1:00:11Jake Shane:It feels fake. It's so fucking funny, Sophie. I know exactly what you're talking about. Because sometimes I go to Target to pick up something, like, I don't know, a bit band-aids. And then I'm like, oh, I'm actually, I need like a carton of milk. And then I'm like, I hope no one sees me. Like, this is so gross. Like, it's milk, but it's not from cows. Like, it's probably coming from like somewhere else, you know? It's like, I don't know, AI generated. Yeah. Like why is that? It's like the same brand. I'm like fruit. You're getting fruit. You're getting produce at Target. It's so gross. I know exactly what you mean when you on the document.

1:00:47It always feels deeply unsettling to get my groceries.

1:00:51Jake Shane:It does. But then I do it anyway, because they allow me to have my dog. No, I totally know what you mean. I would never bring Hank to Trader Joe's. So sometimes I do. Oh, my God. No, you should. OK. Can I just say that I had a conversation with a friend of mine who brings and I love them to death. They bring their dog grocery shopping and they're like, what? Who cares? She doesn't shed. She's a doodle. And I'm like, it doesn't matter. You should not bring your dog to a grocery store. As much as I love Baxter, he doesn't shed. He is as clean as can be. I'm not bringing him to a grocery store. That's disgusting.

1:01:23No, that's you know what? Add it to the list.

1:01:26Jake Shane:People who bring their dogs to grocery stores. That's weird. That's I will give you a weird look if you do that because it's like Read the room. That's like, you are not following the societal code of conduct. If you're bringing your dog to a grocery store, I don't care how much you're like, what? He's hypoallergenic. Doesn't matter. If it's a service dog, were you actually, because Baxter is technically a service dog. I can show people watching on video. He has a little ID card. He's a service dog. I still will not, if it's people that actually need their service dog to do tasks like grocery shopping, yes, they get a pass.

1:02:00Jake Shane:Of course they do. Otherwise, no. So my other dark energy object is sometimes I just want to buy a solo frozen meal from a grocery store or from Target. I love the Amy's frozen mac and cheese. I love their frozen burritos. I also love their frozen tortellini. There are a lot of Amy's solo meals that I love. Why is it so embarrassing to buy like a solo frozen meal? I seriously am reminded of myself in college when I would have to buy frozen meals. Like it does feel a little pathetic. Why? Why? It's like, oh, she doesn't know how to cook. Oh, she's alone. She's eating dinner alone. Yeah. And I feel the same way about I have like TV trays.

1:02:43I talked to you about this.

1:02:44Jake Shane:Yeah. It's pathetic. Like I set my TV. When Chrissy talks about eating dinner in front of the TV with her tray. And I'm telling you, like when I have guests over and they're like, oh, we can watch it. Here, let me bring out my tray. They're like, oh, that's so nice. I'm like, no, it's pathetic. To be very clear. Because 99.9 % of the time, I'm here eating it by myself. I feel like J-Lo in The Wedding Planner, when she makes her little meal in front of the TV, that's how I feel. It's always like the sad person making their meal in front of the TV alone. In the movies. I feel like I'm in a movie being a sad person.

1:03:19It's so embarrassing. No one's seeing me, but I always have to turn around. Before I take it out of my closet, I'm like, is anyone watching me? I get so embarrassed.

1:03:28Jake Shane:It's even the same thing with me buying frozen solo meals at Target at self-checkout. No one cares. No. Literally no one cares. It's just me being insecure. Okay. And also, yes, even as a married woman, I'm eating dinner alone so often because my husband works late. So Henry is in a business that he's passionate. He's really passionate about. As in he freaking is at his office way too fucking much. It pisses me off. But yeah. So those are my dark energy objects. of the week. What are yours? Those are so fucking funny. I'm just going to go into one. Carter Gregory. Okay. He is everywhere. And I don't know who he is.

1:04:09Okay. I went on his Instagram and I have to shout out my really good friend, Emily. Shout out to her. She's the reason I know who you are. She texted me yesterday and she goes, why is Carter Gregory like everywhere? And have you seen that TikTok that surfaced this week of Kendall Jenner's 30th birthday? she had it on an island I think it was Tommy Hilfiger's like compound yeah yeah and they did this TikTok video it felt like that one selfie that they took with like Bradley Cooper and Ellen DeGeneres at the Oscars TikTok version it was Kylie Kendall Justin Haley Stoss Victoria Villarelle and Carter Gregory and Carter Gregory was the one that posted that TikTok that went viral this man is everywhere and if you go on his Instagram the two pin posts are him with Obama and Oprah.

1:04:54And then he's with the Kardashians. He's with Justin and Haley. And he's also, funny enough, best friends with Harry Jowsey. I don't know who he is. We need to do a deep dive

1:05:05Jake Shane:on him because he's come out of nowhere. It's giving Hollywood fixer. No, 100%. It is 100 % giving Hollywood fixer. But I'm like, why is he in the most random spots like Netflix reality star trash Harry Jousey, but also with Obama and Oprah. Also with Obama. Imagine like Obama and Harry Jousey have mutual friends. Exactly. And we live in a world where that is in fact true. And that makes me uncomfortable. It makes me really uncomfortable. I don't like it. I want to know exactly like who he is. Yeah. What's his deal? And the thing with him and Harry Jousey's relationship, it's not even that they're best friends.

1:05:43They are best friends, but they often like queer bait. like they'll post a lot of videos of oh my boyfriend and like they'll like be caressing each other on tiktoks they play into the allegations that people throw at them like are you guys in a relationship i mean and harry jowzy has talked about being hooked up with guys yeah yes he's fluid he kind of you know he's hard or whatever but so i don't think it's outside the realm of possibility that him and carter may have had some kind of romantic entanglement but carter leans in hard they play it up yeah they play it up so i don't know i just don't know what's going on with him.

1:06:14If you guys know as baby snarks, if you're on the same side of the internet that I am in, please let me know what you think about Carver. Yeah.

1:06:20Jake Shane:Yeah. Please let us know you guys. Okay. Let's move on to Elio's. Yes. Okay. So my light energy objects watching New York city marathon content, as you guys know, the New York city marathon was last weekend. I am addicted to watching marathon content. It makes me emotional. It's so inspiring. I'm like, should I run it next year for attention? I was dying when you wrote this. Should I run next year for attention? Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, question mark. No, like I actually texted several of my friends about it. I texted my mom about it. And my mom took it really seriously. She was like, you know what?

1:06:56Jake Shane:If you train really hard, we will come out to support you. And I was like, no, you don't understand. Like I would literally just do it for attention. No, me too. Are you kidding? Just to Also, like the videos of people of the final finishers make me so emotional because they could have given up at any moment. They didn't. And I was texting my friend and my friend who has run several marathons before because she's an actual athlete. I was like, that will literally be me next year. And I'm OK with that. Yeah. Maybe I will. You guys, what do you think? It's running a marathon. I know it's as hard as it looks.

1:07:30Jake Shane:I don't want to sound like an idiot. Like, I know it is. I like it could I walk a lot of it or do I have to run a lot of it because if I can walk it I don't know a lot of people do walk it because I mean when you see the final finishers like at midnight which to be clear that would 100 % be me I'm not judging them at all but if you blew my face up where there's 1.3 million likes on TikTok of me finishing last you would never see me again not because I'm ashamed no because it's like I don't want people to know that I finished last Again, I could never even do it. I feel really proud of them. Like I would be like, yeah, that's that's me.

1:08:08Jake Shane:I'm proud because they could have given up at any point. They're the people that probably a year ago were like, I could never do that. And they did it. It's so inspiring. I love it. But yeah, that would be me. It's when I watched Roni when Carol Radzwill did it. I remember being very inspired by her journey when she started training for the marathon and ended up completing it. That's when her and Bethany, that was like the season where they had their fallout. I remember thinking this is very inspirational. I would like to do this. I would never do it. Yeah. Cottage cheese being your other LEO.

1:08:38We're talking about this in our group chat. We love cottage cheese. I texted Snarkbait team and I was like, hey, what do you guys like to do with your cottage cheese? Like how do you prepare it? And I got a bunch of really good ideas. Olivia told us that she gets Cheez-Its and then she dips it in cottage cheese and Worcestershire sauce.

1:08:52Jake Shane:That is a really interesting one. I will do like a scoop of cottage cheese. Jordan, our producer, just goes, I'm nauseous. I'll do a scoop of cottage cheese, and I'll do a little avocado toast on an English muffin with crushed red pepper, and then I'll do two hard-boiled eggs. And that is like a super filling, delicious lunch that I like to make. And then I also will put it on pasta and stuff. Yeah, that sounds so mean. I love cottage cheese. It's so versatile. It is so versatile. And I know that it's polarizing. Like, a lot of people don't like it. I don't know how, though. Honestly, I think it's because of the way that it looks.

1:09:26It does look a little bit nefarious. Yeah. But I think it's delicious. Okay. My two LAOs, reading. I have talked about needing less screen time because between snark bait and like being in a corporate job, I'm always on a device. I've gotten back into reading. And I hate to say this. I use my Kindle, which is also a device, but it's not like an actual device where I'm connecting to the world. Getting back into reading. Thriller books are very easy for me to get into. They're like quick. They're like four hours long. So I highly recommend that to just get my mental a little bit more right because I've just been feeling like I'm like on a swivel 24-7.

1:10:02And then number two, shout out to our network. Our network's husband works for Hatch. And when I was at the Beyond the Blind show and I was talking with Cloud10 Saiba and her husband, he works at Hatch. And he was like, I can give you a discount code. So he hooked me up. My Hatch alarm clock. Jordan, our producer, has also talked about how she has really enjoyed her Hatch. it wakes you up very smoothly. I do like this wind down routine where it plays a sound bath and I've been going to bed before 9 p.m. every night.

1:10:31Jake Shane:Oh my god before 9 p.m. Yes like that's how you can record at 6 a.m. Yeah exactly I have to because otherwise we record at 6 a.m. Pacific on some morning so it's like the only way I can actually wind down and it's been a game changer even after just one week of using it. Oh my God. Yeah. Wow. Well, I am really, actually really influenced to get a hatch. Ask Saiba. Ask for the - Yeah, I think I'm going to ask. Yeah, I think I might ask for that discount code. I think that is about it for Dark Energy Tuesday, you guys. This was a jam-packed one. Thank you so much for listening. We have a new Patreon episode per usual.

1:11:16Jake Shane:tomorrow at snarkbait.com or patreon.com slash snarkbait pod to our amazing team jordan rachel olivia kartik thank you baby snarks for listening if you enjoyed this episode please leave us a five-star rating and review oh and follow us on instagram at snarkbait pod i am at soap underscore ross which by the way i think it might be time for me to change my handle to my married name which i still haven't done a year later so might do that chrissy is at christy noel underscore underscore and that's the tea yeah and it's maura murray tomorrow patreon so a true crime adjacent missing person if you're interested so head on over there we love you guys so much we'll see you tomorrow or thursday bye bye

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