What’s the Snark on Carl Radke?

28:58I remember like early seasons of Summer House. Oh, my God. He was really cute. Yeah. Yeah. He was really cute. So I can imagine that people are like, you should act like you're good looking. You're tall. You should be like a model actor. uh so he booked this one-way ticket actually when he was drunk and you know of course going to Hollywood to try to become an actor it's not all it's cracked up to be he ended up working odd jobs like a runner for a production company and he interestingly picked up tapes from Bravo offices and saw behind the scenes how TV is made which is a really interesting full circle thing and uh His first weeks in L.A., he got his first and only DUI, and he spent a night in jail.

29:39And this little sentence is such—it's just the writing. That night in jail was one of the most sobering experiences of my life, which was ironic, as I was completely down—as I was coming down from being completely wasted. Huh? What about—that is ironic. Yeah, you're right. That sentence doesn't make sense. that night in jail was one of the most sobering experiences of my life, which was ironic as I was coming down from being completely wasted. Second time, still not clear. Like, what's ironic about? Like, I don't know. But this was like one of the moments that he's like, this is the moment that everything changed.

30:23And he like says that a lot throughout the book. But he started working as a PA for NBC's Heroes. Remember that show? With Hayden Panettiere. in my love and Amelia. Yep. And when he dated her when she was like underage, I think. Yeah, that was fucked. We should do a Patreon episode on weird age gap relationships. Age gap relationships. Yes, absolutely. That's such a good idea. So he also became a PA for Criminal Minds and he would work 14 hour days. It got really stressful. He would drink and he started doing coke at work. Like literally during the week. And by the way, I loved Criminal Minds.

31:02Did you? I was never a Criminal Minds girl. I don't know why. Because I love, like, true crime. No, it's good. Yeah, I'm sure. My mom loves it. Yeah. He dated a girl. They would fight a lot. They would get into sort of physical altercations. There's one. He mentions that she threw shoes at him. They broke up. And he starts partying even more after this breakup. and uh he actually did you know that he also had a stint in orange county oh love yeah so so he started working in sales slash marketing i think he realized that the pa acting thing wasn't working out so that's when he pivoted he got into sales with a metal medical company in orange county and uh at some point he works for orthodontic specialty consultant for a dental tech startup.

31:54It all comes back to like dental equipment with Carl. I know. I remember that being a whole like motif for his entire season one through five on Summer House. He was always in the dental software business. And his quotas were not getting met. Never. He got fired like three different times on the show. Yeah. He could never hold down a job. But the pressure of performing in sales. I am someone where like I would not be good at sales. I'm not good at schmoozing. My sister works in sales and she loves it. And she's really good at it. And I think that, you know, you have to be like, yeah, this is like, you know, this is how you get your bag.

32:31That's how you get commission. That's how you get bonuses. You have to perform. I'd be like, that's too much pressure. I would never. I would heal. Could never be. Like the quotas you have to meet, like the deals you have to close. The pressure you have to put on your customers. So much pressure. Yeah. I couldn't do it. That's how Carl felt. He felt like it was a lot of pressure and, you know, the drug usage started to ramp up because he couldn't take how stressful it was. And he ended up moving to Richmond, Virginia after a promotion and started dating a girl, had a long-term relationship with her, but they ended up breaking up.

33:09So another, this is a really crazy story that I know a lot of people have been talking about online. and this also like I cannot imagine what this was like and this probably changed Carl's life forever honestly uh you guys if you're on TikTok or social media at all I'm sure you have seen people discussing this but in 2009 Carl went on a company awarded trip to the Bahamas because he was doing well at work it was one of those you know you're doing well go to Bahamas have you ever been by the way just a question because i i have never been on like a company trip like that like is that like i had a i've had to travel like internationally for work but never like a president's club type trip for right like you you performed well so go on this trip so that's that's for that's for the money makers aka sales they don't care about finance or marketing okay true go to the back go to the back of the bus yeah so he was awarded this trip and he invites a bottle girl he met at a club or as one and as one does in pittsburgh to be his plus one on this trip and yeah quickly that's like really unhinged yeah i think i think because you're we just announced our president's club at my company and you get a plus one and you're having to engage with co-workers for like five days straight so imagine having to balance working I mean, having fun and playing around with coworkers while at the same time trying to balance this new random girl you met at a club.

34:48That's like diabolical behavior to me. Yeah, it's definitely not totally normal or acceptable behavior, I feel like, for most people on these company trips. But yeah, he brings the bottle girl. and uh they were hooking up in their hotel room and carl sees a guy staring at them from their balcony like literally in a horror movie i can't imagine how scary that was oh my it sounds like a chill down my spine he started to yell yell at him the scary guy who was watching them tried to jump over to the next railing and instead he fell 12 stories to the ground carl saw him on the ground with blood all over him.

35:31And he died. And Carl's hotel room became a crime scene. And the police found out that this guy was a serial voyeur. He was going balcony to balcony. They found a bunch of weird porn in his room. And yeah, he spent the next few days kind of just like in a shock. It obviously caused a lot of trauma and ended up doing a bunch of coke with his colleague just in the aftermath he was like what just happened and he definitely started to spiral after this and blame himself and he considers this a really you know obviously traumatic moment in his life and something that he still has ptsd from which is completely understandable oh my god okay so this is like not to make it all about me this is first of all incredibly tragic and very traumatizing and even though this guy seemed to be a little bit off and you know participating in these kind of illegal activities doesn't denote the fact that he shouldn't have died from it um when i was after i graduated college i lived in this apartment near campus and there was i had a balcony no excuse me the house next to me the townhouse next to me had a balcony and my roof was like basically you could jump from like their balcony to my door my door was one time i was sleeping and we had we had a feeling that those guys that lived in that townhome were uh drug dealers because there was a lot of people coming in and out of that house all the time ultimately they ended up getting evicted and i found out from the landlord there were like 12 people living in that house there would be like it would be 12 p.m and there would be a disco ball like going on and there'll be loud music like trap music i was sleeping and fortunately my boyfriend at the time was staying the night i heard this thump on my balcony and this guy was trying to break into my room oh my god yeah i saw i just got this like flashback it was ended up being fine because my boyfriend at the time like yelled at him thank god thank god that there was a guy there.

37:23No, I remember just being frozen in fear and the guy jumped off the balcony and just ran the opposite direction. My instinct now, almost like many years later, is that they were probably high and just trying to jump from balcony to hell. I don't know if they would have even tried to break it. I don't know, but it was very, very startling and kind of, yeah, I just take him back to that. Sorry to make it about me, guys. I just won't. No, oh my God. I also, I never watched Criminal Minds, but I watched enough forensic files in my life. You guys know I've always loved forensic files to know that there are so many cases where peeping Toms or voyeurs will become obsessed with someone that they spy on and then they take it to the next level and then end up breaking it.

38:07Like there have been multiple forensic files episodes about peeping Toms who've done this. And I think just the concept of peeping Tom is so scary to me. But again, like what happened here was really sad either way. Right. But, oh my God, it's just such a, like, it's just scary for everyone, for Carl, for the girl. Like, I'm sure that was just such a frickin' traumatic experience and just scary as fuck. Oh, God. Okay, so he ended up moving back to Philly shortly after this. And he, this is kind of when his, I don't want to say daddy issues because it sounds really flippant. Carl's parents, their marriage fell apart later in Carl's life.

38:50So I don't know if there's like a good time or bad. We've talked about this before. It's like, would you rather your parents get divorced when you're really young and then you don't know any better or have like a pretty like normal-ish childhood and then they have all of these issues later in life and you fully recognize what's going on? For Carl, it was obviously the latter. And I think this caused a lot of issues for him too. He was doing coke a lot And his dad asked him for money, and he later found out it was because he wanted to get an apartment as he was moving out because he was having an affair.

39:25What? So this split drove Carl to even more substance abuse. Asking his son to fund his affair, basically. Yeah, so fucked up. That's disgusting behavior. there. And this is something we saw on the show. He was partying so much and, you know, doing so much blow that he would be performing really poorly at work. He was hung over all the time. He was late all the time. It's like probably wasn't getting a lot of sleep. His whole like, you know, circadian rhythm was probably off. Yeah. And he would start drinking first thing in the morning. Oh, my gosh. And he was behind on bills because he spent it all at clubs and on drugs.

40:05And then he was like, you know what? I'm going to move to New York City because that'll solve all my problems. So he was in L.A. at this time? No, this is when he moved to Philly. This is when he moved to Philly. He moved from L.A. to O.C. to Richmond to Philly, which, you know, that's a lot of that's a lot of moving in your 20. Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah. I think that also like now that I think about it, it's like I feel like this is someone that never felt settled. you know like he was he was always moving around and trying to find himself yeah the next thing yes the next location will help me find my final like the final destination will be upon me yeah but like no people that jump around this is a blank statement but if you're jumping around that much and you're going through so much tumultuous shit in your life you're trying to run from something else yeah totally and just a you know word of advice if you are running or if you're hide on your bills and you have a substance abuse problem, don't move to New York City because that this place will not make either of those problems better.

41:05No. Only get worse. Yeah. So, yeah, but he decided to move to New York. And obviously, I think I think it worked out for him because that is how he ended up on Summer House. And he moved to New York City and he dated a girl in New York for a couple of months and she ended up dumping him because of his drinking. His substance abuse got super bad. He was constantly hungover, constantly had headaches. And then the Summer House opportunity came. So he just came back to me. Yeah. Remember season one of Summer House when him, Edward, and Kyle were at a restaurant and they were talking about, excuse me, Carl's ex-relationships.

41:44And Carl said, I dated this one girl who was like so rich. She had a private jet and I dumped her. Do you remember that? Who was this girl? I don't know. Because it doesn't seem like, he doesn't seem like a serial monogamous. Like, it seems like he had these very, yeah, short, short relationships. I honestly don't know. Like, I have not gotten the vibe that any of these girls were like that serious in his life. But I don't know. So his dentist, because it always comes back to the dentist with Carl, his dentist mentioned to him that his friends Kyle and Everett were going on a show. And they were looking for one more guy.

42:20and so they reached out to Carl and the rest is history he met Kyle the summer before in the Hamptons drinking and they bonded over drinking six liter bottles of rosé at Surf Lodge as one does how much is six liters sorry that sounds so dumb like isn't a liter of rosé like a regular wine bottle oh I'm thinking of a liter of coke or like liter of pepsi that's like a liter like a liter of wine. So picture like a liter of wine, six of them together, the two of them, six bottles of rosé together. And he hoped the show would force him to get his shit together. Well, I don't think a show like Summer House was ever gonna.

43:06God, no. Nope. And this is interesting. He said that he went on like shopping sprees and he hit the gym really hard to prepare. he dropped like two thousand dollars on clothes in one weekend he had credit card debt uh but he really wanted to like look good for the show and he became kind of addicted to working out to exhaustion again this goes back to kind of his body image issues and like even today i feel like he's like obsessed with berries boot camp like that's that's just like pre-covid obsession like i too was obsessed with berries but that was like 2018 i've done berries once and i hated it But it was so hard.

43:46You would never catch me at one of those. It's really hard. Like, I respect people that go to Barry's regularly. Like, it is extremely difficult. I did it once, and I was like, never again. Yeah. His numbers continue to not be great at work, which, again, becomes a summer house plot line in those early seasons. He was asking off all the time. And his boss was like, yeah, sure, it's fine, as long as your numbers improve, which they never did. He would literally pregame filming with bottles of vodka. which I don't know what that's like to like know that you're about to enter the lion's den with like cameras everywhere.

44:21Like I'm sure that's nerve wracking. And his solution was to drink before filming. Yeah, it's so evident now because again, the Carl that we see on screen is not the same person. Like his personality is just vastly different under the influence and it is sober. Yeah. Yeah. And he would party with Kyle both in the Hamptons and in the city until like 4 a.m. every single night during these early seasons. They were really a match made in heaven. I mean, yeah, they have. I mean, it's kind of the craziest stamina I've ever seen. Yeah. I don't know how he does it. And Kyle, like, I can tell you, honestly, firsthand, Kyle is not staying up and partying the way he does because of stimulants.

45:09Oh, I agree. This is just who he is. No, I totally agree. It's who he is. And also, if he was, like, he looks amazing for 42, 43, however old he is. He looks amazing. Like, he would look like Shep or like Jax Taylor if he was abusing drugs. Like, he really— agree with you he really isn't you guys i promise you i know it's like a long-standing uh you know accusation thrown at kyle's that he also is is doing drugs and that's why he's always out until 6 a.m this is just who he is it's like he's really crazy he doesn't recreationally if someone passes in the bag but he's not like out i don't think he's out buying like i i don't i don't even think i don't even think recreationally like i really think that he does not yeah that's just what i have heard in the city.

45:53He is not, he does not, like, this is just who he is. Oh, I kind of love that. I promise you guys, like, not even recreationally. Wow. Okay. Okay. Go off, Kyle. Love that. Yeah. So, Carl talks about the summer house beginnings. Lauren Workus, I kind of do miss the Workus Circus, honestly. And I thought it was really funny that Lauren Workus and her sister were from Carlsbad, California. Oh, yeah. Isn't that funny? Carlsbad, yeah. And Sandy, I can start with the way you said it. I I was like, Carl's bad. Carl's bad. I get what you're saying. Carl's bad. Yes. Carl's bad. And he takes blame for being wishy-washy with Lauren.

46:27If you guys remember the early seasons, she was like obsessed with Carl. And he was like just like a classic fuck boy. It was a watermelon. The watermelon. She like throws a watermelon at him. She puts cake in his face. She was like so obsessed with him and he just like did not give a fuck and was such a wishy-washy fuck boy. I remember the darkest season was when Stephen cooked them dinner and he got more life, more life. And I remember this is so dark. Shut up. Which should have been the name of his book, honestly. I wish it was. So it comes as no surprise that his career started to struggle a bit during the week while he was filming Summer House.

47:05He'd miss, you know, important emails because he was obsessed with checking social media to see fan reactions to Summer House episodes. which I can't even imagine how plugged in some of these Bravo leberties, especially at the beginning. They're like, what's everyone saying about me? It would be like so overwhelming. His boss said, your numbers are struggling, and then fired him. And this led to an identity crisis. He, of course, was still abusing alcohol and drugs. He was hiding bottles around the summer house. He would still pregame filming. He had shaky hands every single morning. And he also says that, you know, his parents' divorce played a big, really impacted him and caused his substance abuse issues to get worse.

47:58And we also saw how he would get into drunken fights with cast members. He was just an asshole when he was drunk. Like, we all saw him being an asshole, speaking of Jules. Like, he was a fucking piece of shit. and uh okay so let's talk about in season two the steven story so if you guys remember steven was a cast member on summer house on season one season two and there is a scene where he outs carl as having admitted to receiving oral sex from a guy he said that carl said the best head he ever got was from a guy and he said this on camera completely outing carl which yeah people were very uh upset about uh deservedly so and i am so glad that steven has never had a career in reality tv since because this was so beyond fucked up so carl explains kind of the backstory of this uh and he obviously was never expecting steven to bring this up on camera he was so taken aback and so traumatized from being put on blast like that.

49:03But he says that him and Steven were doing blow together and they would do coke together all the time. So he kind of put Steven on blast. Oh, shit. Yeah. He was like, we would do drugs together all the time. And he basically got, trigger warning, sexually assaulted by a director of a theater show he did when he was in LA. So he was 22 and remember he was trying to become an actor he was making out with his scene part partner at the wrap party and in the darkness someone else joined in and it was apparently the director and he didn't really ask for consent and he was sexually assaulted and he addressed him watch what happens live at the time he said he did have an intimate experience with a man in his early 20s but he considers himself completely straight and felt that steven completely violated his trust by making it public.

49:58And yeah, again, I'm so happy that Stephen has never returned to Summer House. Fuck Stephen for this. This was so beyond the pale. I do think, you know, Summer House and Bravo needs more LGBTQ plus representation to this day. Summer House, to my knowledge, has not, am I missing anyone, has not had an LGBTQ cast member since Stephen, which I think is ridiculous but in any case Stephen was awful for this interestingly enough I don't know where I heard this I apologize but I guess Stephen is sober now oh yeah so I think he he had some it appears that both he and Carl struggled intensely with addiction and now they're both sober which I feel like is a really great path for both their both their lives so I'd imagine not giving Stephen any credit.

50:51I'm just saying when you're like fucked up, you probably do. I know in the past I've done some crazy shit. Yeah. You know, it was under the influence and said and done things that I don't mean. So maybe I'd imagine maybe Stephen was blown out of his mind and said that on camera and completely betrayed Carl's trust, which is not fucking cool whatsoever. But I think they were both fighting very, very severe demons at this time. Yes, definitely. Thank you for saying that. Like, what Stephen did was extremely fucked up, but he was young and also had a substance abuse issue, apparently, just like Carl did.

51:29Not an excuse, though. No, no. It was just so inexcusable. He also suggests that Carl was lying about his sexuality, and I think part of this, people have speculated that Stephen maybe had a crush on Carl. Maybe, yeah. And maybe it was, like, wishful thinking on his part. Who knows? I think that Carl is someone where there has always been inappropriate speculation about his sexuality. I think that I am the first person to say, and I said at the top of the episode, that Carl does not know who he is. I don't know. I'm not saying that that extends to his sexuality. He says he's straight, so he's straight, you know?

52:05I think that this incident has led people. It's followed him. It's made people question his sexuality ever since this happened. And that is why what Steven did was so fucked up, because now he's constantly getting questioned about. Like, I mean, not it's not like people are like running up to him on the street and be like, are you gay or straight? But the fans constantly are speculating on his sexuality, which is not fair to him, obviously. Right. And like also, if he's struggling, like whether or not he is or is not struggling with that, if he is, can you imagine how painful that is? Well, it's like he can come out if that's if, you know, if he's not straight, he will come out when it's his time to come out.

52:45But he says he's straight. So I believe him. He's straight. Yeah. So. Yeah, he Carl was very, very, very traumatized by this. And, you know, obviously. And, you know, dove right into booze and drugs. and his drinking got even worse as a result. And he really struggled, like I said, with the audience questioning his sexuality, which is something that still happens to this day. So before you speculate on Carl's sexuality from here on out, keep that in mind. And he says that Stephen reached out in 2021 trying to make amends. Yes, you're right. Stephen also did get sober. Yeah. Yeah, so Stephen did try to reach out in 2021 when he also got sober, But Carl didn't respond until 2023.

53:35And I guess they ended up making up. But something that is interesting that Carl says in his book, a couple times, he says that if it were a woman who had this happen to them, they would have gotten support and protection. He says something along the lines of when women go through trauma, people are more careful about how they handle it. What? Yeah, I don't think it's a very good comparison. because I think, I mean, it's objectively true that men, like men are scared that women will laugh at them and women are scared that men will kill them. And I think the degree at which we are fearful of men is higher than the degree at which men are fearful of women.

54:13I'm not saying women are not violent. There are plenty of violent women out there. You guys know what I mean though. Like we're speaking like the numbers and statistics show us that a man is physically more likely to hurt someone and to make someone feel fearful. So I think that's why women's allegations are more prevalent and honestly taken more seriously because just the sheer strength that a man has over a woman is just. And also, yeah, it just it happens more to women. Yeah. It just does. It's just a fact that women get assaulted by men more than the other way around. That's just a fact of life.

54:48and but to say that you know if it were a woman everyone would believe her and listen to her when that is just like not true we see it every day women get berated for coming out with accusations even in a post me too world we've said it a million times we are not the best cooks but nothing hits like home cooking and one of my resolutions is to spend less money on eating out in 2026 and thank god for hello fresh because it literally would not be possible without them HelloFresh makes it so easy with meals that are quick, delicious, and simple to make on a busy weeknight. With bigger portions than ever, by the way.

55:27They have over 100-plus meal options to choose from, from Mediterranean diet options to GLP-1-friendly ones to steak, seafood, and fresh seasonal produce, all made from wholesome ingredients. I'm finally a home cook, you guys, and it feels amazing, let me tell ya. Go to HelloFresh.com slash Snark10FM to get 10 free meals plus a free Zwilling knife, which, by the way, is a$144.99 value on your third box. Offer valid while supplies last. Free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only varies by plan. You guys know by now, one of my favorite ways to unwind is to make a TV dinner, put on a disturbing documentary, and take an edible.

56:10And my current favorites are Lumi Gummies. Lumi gummies make me feel just right. Relax and a little giggly if I'm in a sativa mood. And the best part is Lumi gummies are designed specifically to make you feel good, not too stoned. And when I need help sleeping, I've tried so many different sleep aids to mix results. Then I tried Lumi gummies indica plum berry runts. Just one 5 milligram gummy an hour before bed, I'm out like a light. And I wake up super well rested and without any grogginess. Whether you're looking for an end-of-day de-stressor, a midday mood boost, or help getting the best sleep ever, LumiGummies has a strain that's exactly what you're looking for.

56:47LumiGummies are available nationwide. Go to LumiGummies.com. That's L-U-M-I-Gummies.com. And use code SNARK for 30 % off your order. Again, that's L-U-M-I-Gummies.com. Code SNARK. LumiGummies.com. Code SNARK. Snarkbait is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. insurance fiscally responsible financial geniuses monetary magicians these are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds because progressive offers discounts for paying in full owning a home and more plus you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it so your dollar goes a long way visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates.

57:32Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. I've been shopping on Poshmark for years. It's my go-to when I'm searching for a holy grail that's sold out on the primary market or everyday essentials that I really just want to pay less than retail for. It's so fun to track down things on my wish list, whether it's Mew Mew sunglasses, Reformation boots, or a very specific sold-out dough and dress. Poshmark is the place to find the must-have styles you've been wanting without having to pay full price for. I was tracking down a Goldie Parker long jean shorts for so long, and I literally found them in less than five minutes on Poshmark, and for half the price.

58:09I've never looked back. No, it's not too good to be true. Poshmark is and always has been shaped by real people and real style with millions of pre-loved items ready to shop, from wardrobe staples to vintage luxury and rare, archi-worthy gems. And the best part? When you're ready to part with something, you can sell it back on Poshmark and reach more than 80 million fashion lovers on the platform, ready to shop your closet. I've genuinely sold so many times on Poshmark, and it's so fast and simple. New deals and styles are listed every day, so don't wait. Download the Poshmark app and use code SNARK when you sign up to get$10 off your first purchase.

58:46Or shop now at Poshmark.com slash SNARK and get$10 off your first purchase. That's P-O-S-H-M-A-R-K dot com slash snark. Okay, so let's talk more about Carl's journey into drugs according to his book. So alcohol wasn't doing it for him anymore, and he, you know, would start doing Adderall in the Hamptons, and he started taking it to film for work to be functional. Like, he was on a show about partying. Also, you know, he was having to show up they take it as they take it seriously as a job you know like being on a reality show it's work but then he also was working and so he felt like he could not function without Adderall and also started doing coke in New York because it was so accessible and normalized and uh he says that his worst years were season three and season four of summer house which we have mentioned we really hated him after season four and uh yeah he basically would stay in and drink and do blow by himself in his apartment, which is when you know you have a problem.

59:52That's really scary. Yeah. He would watch TV all night. He would call people at 3 a.m. He'd call his dad crying hysterically in the middle of the night. And I feel like not having like a real job like Carl didn't at this time would he was doing reality TV, but otherwise he had been fired from a sales job. I feel like that would like exacerbate this because you don't have a sleep schedule anymore. Like if I didn't have a job my you guys know like i'm the night owl between me and christy i would be up all night i'd be like yeah i could just sleep in all day tomorrow right and also i think the fact that your renewal for the next season for summer house is predicated upon you being a shit show and you hurting and looking like an ass in front of so many people yeah you're almost you almost kind of have to it's almost like you can legitimize your behavior because you're like well i'm getting paid to do this so i gotta like take it up a notch to get renewed for the next season like i can understand why it's almost like his bad behavior was encouraged because he was on a reality tv show and he was so um between so many jobs at that time that it was his only steady stream of income so not only was he he was literally getting paid to party and be an ass yeah exactly and i feel like that's the issue with so many of these like fucking assholes on bravo whether it's like jacks taylor or lisa renna or whoever it is you are getting rewarded for being a fucking asshole until you're not until you take it too far and then you get fired like both of them did uh but yeah it just exacerbates existing uh personality issues let's say yes so the incident with Jules oh was this season no it wasn't I think it was season four because season three no no Jules was four because season three was Paige and Hannah's first season and Jules came in after Paige and Hannah right because that's when he was that's when Carl was courting Paige for a bit and he wouldn't take her out for daytime dates in the city yeah that was season three So the incident at the party where he yells at Jules, again, it makes me so sad as someone who has been at a party being like, someone, like, talk to me.

1:01:53Like, I don't know anyone here. And you could be, like, the most, like, sociable person in the world, but sometimes you're just not with your people, and it's, like, so fucking uncomfortable. Oh, get me out of there. My ass is already called Uber. Yeah, exactly. But imagine, like, she can't leave because she's in the summer house. It's like, oh, my God, I felt so bad for her. thing okay so apparently some girl canceled on him that was supposed to come to the party and he took it out on jewels because he was upset and he told her he didn't want her in the house anymore and accused her and jordan the other uh he was a newbie in season three but he was still he was on the outs because he was so awkward and weird i can't jordan i'm sorry speaking of speaking of speculating on sexuality i'm yeah yeah well well jordan yeah like You guys make up your own mind about Jordan.

1:02:46Come on. Yeah, but he accused— You guys know what we're talking about, okay, without us saying it. Come on. Yeah, yeah. So he accused Jules and Jordan of ruining the summer. He said that he was drunken on Adderall during this fight. And yeah, I hated him after this. He was so mean. Who are you? Like, I remember they all held a vote to, like, kick Jules out of the house. I was like, who are you to kick this poor girl out of the house? Yes, they were all in that bathroom. This woman of color, mind you. I hated, I hated like everyone on Summer House after this season. I hated Amanda Batula after this season.

1:03:16Oh, she was the worst to Jules, to be clear. She was such a bully to Jules. And I think apparently part of it was because like production was like, ooh, Jules has a crush on Kyle. Like they were trying to stir the pot. And she, I remember Jules was like drinking from a bottle that Amanda kicked at one point and it almost like smashed in her face. Like they were all so mean about her. Weren't Paige and Hannah kind of the only ones that were kind of nice to her? Hannah, not really. I feel like Paige was nice. Hannah, not really. Paige was like the only nice one to her. That was like sort of nice to her.

1:03:45Yeah. But like not even. Like they were all like kind of mean to her. Yeah, the bar was kind of in hell. So. Yeah. Yeah, the bar was very low, but I would say the nicest person was Paige, even though Paige wasn't even like that nice to her. Okay, so do you remember like between season four and season five, Hannah did a podcast and said that Carl was doing Adderall and implying that he was doing coke also. I don't remember this, but Hannah always puts her foot in her mouth when it comes to the summer house cast. She does it with Kyle and she does it with Carl. Hannah is the worst and has been the worst for a long time.

1:04:17And I maintain like all the people that say on season five that she was just, it was COVID. Like she went crazy. It's like, it wasn't the stuff she was doing on screen. Yes, she was insufferable on screen. It was all the things she did off screen on podcasts and all the things she said. She was awful and I think is not a good person. Sorry, sorry, gigglers. Don't come for me. Don't come for me. I'm not in the mood. I'm not in the fucking mood, gigglers. Do not come for me. You're entitled to your opinion. And my God, actually, now that I think about it, that was my gateway drug into Summer House because I was on my way to Nantucket in Boston in 2022, and that was on the JetBlue flight.

1:04:57And I watched season five. I'm like, the show's fucking good. And you were like, this bitch is insane. Yeah, I don't remember what I, I thought she was crazy, but I kind of just was like, I think I was just so new to the show. I'm like, okay, let me just give the whole show a shot. and then I went back in time. So I was kind of watching it out of order. But yeah, this season was good, I thought, the COVID season, shockingly. It was. It was like very utter. It's always fun to like have like a really, really, really insufferable villain, even if in the moment you're like, I need this person off my show.

1:05:26Like she was so fun to hate watch. Like we hated, she was like, I remember like because we, this was like 2021 when it aired and I would like tweet about it and like post about it because that's, you know, I was tweeting a lot about Bravo at the time. And I was like, is Hannah Burner worse than Jax Taylor? Like that's how bad it was. And I know that sounds crazy, but like her behavior was so disgusting and horrible. Don't talk about my dad. Don't talk about my dad. And like that was unhinged, but also the fact that she was making fun of Luke's, her cast members' mental health, his ideation that he wanted to unalive himself, making fun of that, outing Carl's drug usage when that's not her place.

1:06:13Oh, my God. I cannot stand her. Luke is still fine, by the way. My God. I know. I've always loved Luke. I'm a Luke apologist. I always have been. So Carl remembers getting a message from a reporter after she did this podcast and said, Hannah Berner was on Andrew Collin's podcast and said, you were doing cocaine and Adderall during filming. Would you like to comment? And apparently this podcast episode where she also makes fun of Luke and she outs Carl's drug usage, ended up getting like deleted uh it was taken down because it was so problematic and hannah responded to his text he texted her saying that he was infuriated and she responded saying it was just a joke come on and now the public knows that he does drugs and i was just re-listening to our andy cohen episode that we did last week we talked about how like andy cohen's you know offering watch what happens live, guess, Coke.

1:07:04Like, yeah. Yeah. Like, let's be honest. Like, he's not going to admit it. It's an open secret. Like, he's not going to admit it. He doesn't want to admit it. That's fine. And honestly, living in a city, you live in New York, me and SF, you walk into any party, everyone is doing it. It's just like, it's just, it's not something that needs to be, like, that's not your business. 100%. It's an open secret. It's an open secret. It's like, like, the fact, and Hannah also has been very open about the fact that she doesn't do drugs, which is completely fine. Either way, if you want to do extracurriculars like Carl did, obviously Carl, that's an extreme version because he had substance abuse problems, but some people are able to casually do it and then some people just choose not to.

1:07:51And either way, that's fine. But it's not your fucking business to tell on a podcast, Hannah. Agreed. So, yeah, he was very upset that all of a sudden his drug use was public knowledge. And he says in the book that he's regretful about blaming Hannah instead of working on himself. And I maintain that Hannah still was wrong for this. Like, yeah, like he realized that he had a problem and, you know, retroactively was like, yeah, maybe I should have just focused on myself instead of blaming Hannah. But like that was not Hannah's place to spill his tea nor you know there's a pattern now with carl and his castmates whom he once considered friends you have steven who outed him for his sexuality you have hannah that's outing him for his drug use albeit these things are these things are true they did in fact happen but it's not necessarily these people's stories to tell like honestly even if someone like i would never out someone's like serious baggage to people in my space let alone the entire universe do you know what i mean it's Yeah.

1:08:52It's not their story to tell, like you said. He mentions an unnamed cast member, and they were evil influences on each other. They would, like, be constantly drinking in the car on the way to film, pre-gaming filming. He said our friendship was built on partying. Like, I— It could be Lindsay. It could be Steven. My guess is Danielle. Yeah, I think so, too. Like, I feel like Danielle was low-key a party girl, and I think that her and Carl had a friendship built off of partying and drinking. So apparently at his first Bravo con in 2019, I cannot believe this never leaked, that he was like trying to quit drinking at the time, but he ended up out until 7 a.m.

1:09:36and he got into an argument with a fan, which I think is like, how did that never leak? He starts working for Loverboy around 2018, 2019, and he would show show up for work fucked up, leading to bad sales numbers. Remember when Kyle outed it? Yes. At dinner on the season premiere one season? That was... Yes. So Kyle also is someone that outed Carl for showing up, coked out, to work. And you know what? Either way, a sales quota hates to see Carl coming. If there is a sales quota, Carl is not going to hit it. He needs to move industries. Like, it just... Yeah. It's not for you. You know? Well, I guess he has.

1:10:14So now he's in the food and beverage. Yep. So Summer House season four, it ended up airing early 2020, and he was alone in his apartment watching himself at his worst during the season. So this was kind of like a rock bottom moment for him. And he enrolled in a weekly wellness program in the Hamptons and attempted to get sober, but like wasn't fully on board yet with getting sober. So it wasn't successful. And Summer House Season 5 filmed during COVID. And he, leading up to the season, he was trying not to indulge in substances. And he started doing therapy and kind of telling the truth with himself.

1:10:52And it was the first time he was honest about his problem. And he went into the season kind of just trying to drink in moderation, which if you know anyone with a substance abuse problem, that is the number one thing is that drinking in moderation is not possible. No. So I think he thought it was. And then when you know you can't drink in moderation is when you officially know that you have a problem. Right. And he said that he wasn't really even doing drugs anymore. He was just trying to drink in moderation, would have like lover boys. And actually, the pandemic, he said, was a good thing for him because he wasn't out partying as much.

1:11:26It forced him to sit and reflect. Yeah, that's great because a lot of times often the pandemic had the opposite effect for people where they became more reliant on substances or alcohol. because they were just simply bored or they were alone and in isolation. So I'm glad this was a good thing for his sobriety and his journey. Yep. And there are so many times in the book where he says something along the lines of like, how can I be on a show about partying without partying? So this is clearly a tension in his life. Like it was, yeah, it was an identity crisis. It's like, I'm on the show. This is my job.

1:11:58I'm getting paid to bring the drama to party and, but I have a problem. And then it comes to a head, I think, for Carl in August of 2020 when his brother tragically overdoses and dies and Carl finds out on camera and it's an extremely heartbreaking scene. Carl reveals that they were not in a good place at the time. Curtis's addiction issues were really bad and Carl, you know, just couldn't take it. And also he had talked about Curtis's problems on camera, which Curtis was not happy about. So it just, it's a really tragic situation. Their mom had tried to get them to meet up and make up over the summer, but Carl ended up chickening out and uh oh my god it's like so sad I'm like kind of getting emotional thinking about it's like you never know like you never know when it's someone's when it's the last time you'll talk to someone and this is something that I hope that Carl can like forgive himself for yeah like I just oh my god it's like so sad to think about like it's something that he will have to live with for the rest of his life, that his brother passed away when they were not in a good place.

1:13:24And oh my God, I just, I can't even think about it. It's so sad. I think people, family members who have members that suffer with addiction, it's kind of that push and pull where like you want the best for them and you want them to get sober, but also you're so frustrated with them. Yeah. But there's this fear where at any given point your phone could ring and you get the bad news. Like you're just teetering between these two lines and I'm sure it's very confusing. And, yeah, this is devastating, the fact that he never got closure. But I think the best gift that he could give his brother even after life was the sobriety that he earned.

1:13:59Like, he worked so hard for it. And that was kind of in the name and in love of his brother, of his late brother. So I think that's actually probably an even better gift than if they were to have one reconciliation prior to his death. It's like it motivated him to a different path, which is far more than a conversation I think could ever even give. So think of it in that way. That's a really good point. Yeah. So, yeah, like you said, it was kind of this push and pull. Curtis's relationship was not great with his parents either at the time. He had just gotten out of rehab six months prior. And, you know, he talks about his brother's passing and how each person in the house helped him in different ways.

1:14:37He goes through each person that was on the Summer House cast at the time and how they helped him. And he actually doesn't mention Lindsay at this part, which is interesting because Lindsay was the one he went to first. I remember. Yeah. If you remember, which was a really touching moment, I feel like. And yeah, he immediately, you know, slipped back into coke and binge drinking after giving the eulogy at Curtis's funeral after his death. You know, he just turned to substances again, even though it seemed like he was doing better about, quote unquote, drinking in moderation throughout that summer.

1:15:13and uh he had to go back to summer house after the funeral and he would kind of like grieve in his room alone and yeah this is a huge wake-up call for him about his own sobriety and he started self-isolating after the summer and back in his new york city apartment and he's he basically would spend a lot of time alone. And he spent, he talks about spending New Year's Eve by himself, and he felt indifferent and apathetic about living life. Like, he didn't feel like life was worth living anymore, which is really, really, really sad. And he also got, he writes about getting into a huge fight with Lindsay and two other people from Summer House that he doesn't mention.

1:16:03And they said that they couldn't be friends with him anymore if his substance abuse was going to be this bad. Like it got really, really, really bad. And this is an interesting like little tangent. He says that January 6th, the insurrection, January 6th, 2021, actually ended up being his like rock bottom for some reason. He says the incident made him like really angry. So he got really drunk all day and he ordered three giant jars, quote unquote, of Coke. and he went on a bender alone in his apartment. Whoa. He had a business call the next morning for Loverboy that he tried to cancel.

1:16:40And he like could not form words the next day to his colleagues. And he called an executive producer of Summer House at 8 a.m. on a weekday, completely incoherent, worried about an upcoming episode about his brother's death. And this was kind of like his rock bottom. and it made him reach out to a friend who recently got sober and that friend was like let me set you up with a sponsor and let's get you sober and around this time was when kyle sat him down and said you are killing yourself yeah yeah and that's and that's like a real friend like you are killing yourself you need to get help and so january 8th was his first day sober and uh yeah again like this was kind of like rock bottom for him so because curtis's death led him to his darkest moments which led to his recovery and sobriety he went through bad withdrawals which i know can be really tough for people getting sober but you know there's light at the end of the tunnel for carl he yeah i had a friend who was uh a recovering alcoholic and this person ended up going to rehab but they had told me that in the weeks leading up to them checking themselves in when they ended up going to rehab they seriously were having severe withdrawals like shakes I didn't realize you could get that from alcohol like just my yeah I have a naivety I didn't realize that could happen I just think of that with drugs with alcohol it's really really severe even like in college I remember or like my early days living in New York and we would go out multiple nights in a row.

1:18:19And that was before like our hangovers were really bad. Like we would get, we would take shots. Oh my God. I can't even imagine taking shots anymore at my age. Literally like. No, like I, I would not be, I would be out of commission the next day, but like drinking so many nights in a row, our hands would be shaky. Like that's what, that's like withdrawal also. Like your hands are shaky. Like you, you can't, you, your body is so used to alcohol if you drink so many nights in a row like imagine like you're drinking every day for you know years for some people uh he goes on a tangent in his book about the importance of making your bed in the morning which is extremely on brand for him if you watch summer house which i do agree like i always feel they say that like you know every like those headlines that are like the key to success all of these businessman millionaires say making your bed in the morning what do you think about making your bed in the morning i feel like christy you definitely make your bed every morning yeah but it's not it's not like some ritual like i oh my god i knew it no i did i tried to i tried to also but sometimes sometimes just throw it over i'm like good enough yeah good enough it's funny because sometimes when i work from home i will just like leave it because i'm home yeah you know so i'll just leave it and then when it'll be like 5 p.m And I'll be like, okay, Henry's going to be home soon.

1:19:41I'm going to make the bed so it looks like I made the bed. Anyone else guilty of that? But it sounds like Carl has gotten to a really good routine since getting sober. Barry's boot camp, making his bed, just taking care of himself in whatever ways he can. He goes into a summer house filming the summer of 2021, being six months sober because he got sober. in January of that year. He's also navigated and working for Loverboy. And, you know, his sponsor was like, maybe don't go on Summer House. You know, like, maybe it's not going to be good for your sobriety. But Carl's like, this is how I make money.

1:20:24Yeah. There's another option, isn't there? He'd have to start from scratch. Yeah, exactly. And so I think that Carl was like, I am not going to let alcohol win anymore. and it stopped having as much emotional power over him. So non-alc, non-alc lover boy, even though Carl, you know, wanted to take a step back from lover boy at one point, he says that, you know, when the non-alc branch was starting, Carl was going to return as a consultant. So I'm sure he consulted quite a bit, I'm sure. Like what, yeah, what does that even look like? Yeah, like he didn't do shit for Loverboy. I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry to say it.

1:21:09But also, neither does Kyle anymore. Kyle just announced that he's going on a tour, the Let Him Cook tour, his CJ tour. So who knows what's even going on with Loverboy anymore? Yeah, I mean. So let's talk about Lindsay and Carl. I heard he barely talked about her in the book, too, which was pretty disappointing. Yeah, yeah. He barely talked about her, but touched on kind of the important stuff. so you know Carl has been sober for seven months at this point and he and Lindsay start to get very close uh he realized there's chemistry there there's an attraction they've been friends for years and in an earlier season they go on a date that ends really badly there's always kind of been like a weird attraction there but they're always just like friends with not it's not like they have like so much sexual chemistry you know it was just kind of like eh he's good enough I feel like both of them were at the ages in their late 30s where they were like yeah I mean he's there we have a good foundation because we're friends like why not why wouldn't it work yeah i just remember the earlier seasons when they would like rent kios together and they would take instagram pictures and everyone's like are they together and i i feel like yeah maybe they carl just doesn't seem to me to be very um i think he's even said this as much like he's not like a super super sexually like aggressive aggressor kind of guy like he won't you know i don't know he doesn't seem very i think I think also, I think when he had the crutch of alcohol or drugs, he was more confident with approaching women and hitting on women.

1:22:34Yeah. And now that he's sober, he, like, doesn't know what to do. But his sponsor told him no dating in the first year of sobriety, which is a very common thing, you know, because they'll say, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, But it's something along the lines of you are replacing one addiction with another and you're not like emotionally ready for a deep connection until you have like fixed the relationship you have with yourself. Something along those lines. There are very valid reasons why AA sponsors will tell you not to get in a relationship within a year of getting sober. But he does anyway.

1:23:08They were each other's dates to Kaimanda's wedding in 2021. and he was like fully feeling all of his emotions for the first time because he wasn't drunk or high and he was like overwhelmed with how he was feeling and he didn't know how to like regulate those emotions yet you know right which actually makes so much sense and he decided to propose in 2022 we remember yes yes a million times yes and the shoulder pads the blue dress and the shoulder depends. Yeah. And like, honestly, like I was so here for it at the time. Like she was such, and he, you know, at the time also mentioned how she had been such a support system after his brother's death and she was just really there for him.

1:23:55And I think the foundation was there and they thought it could be romantic and they thought it could work, but they were really always just better as friends. And he says it taught him a lot about himself, so he doesn't regret anything, even though it ended badly. So they did move really quickly. They moved in together in the summer of 2022 in June, got engaged in August, and they set a wedding date for November 2023 in Mexico. Remember how much of a loser Danielle was when they got married? Yeah, Danielle. It's not a loser. Oh, my God. Yeah, she was so mad that the engagement wasn't about her.

1:24:30And, like, part of me understands where she was coming from because I think part of her like was like, you guys are making a mistake. This is way too fast. And she ended up being right, unfortunately, but it was the way that she was going about it was so fucking annoying. And so her concerns, you know, there was a lot of friction when they got engaged. And it used to be kind of like the trio, like the three of them were really good friends. Trace amigos, they used to call each other that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And yeah, the other cast members were like, what is going on? You guys are moving really fast.

1:25:04and Danielle and Lindsay actually doesn't really seem like they're friends anymore. Like, people they made up, like, they are not ever together in social media. It seems like they're totally not friends. I remember, like, this past season when Lindsay was pregnant, or last season, Danielle was like, you're not living with this man? Like, if you were good friends, you would know the living situation of your good friend. So clearly they're not friends anymore. And this is also when Carl and Kyle started to have tension. So if you remember, Carl actually officiated Kyle's wedding. or Kyle and Amanda's wedding.

1:25:35And instead of, you know, asking Kyle to be a groomsman or an officiant or best man or whatever it is, he asked him to be a flower boy, which was a slap in the face. But the tensions were because Kyle felt like Lindsay was influencing Carl's role at lover boy. And this is where Kyle ended up outing Carl's past substance abuse, like we said, where he was like, he's showing up to work coked out. Because at the time, Lindsay was convincing Carl that he was underpaid and undervalued and underappreciated and he deserved more. And Kyle, meanwhile, was like, you're like constantly fucked up and barely getting your job done.

1:26:10Why would I give you a raise and a promotion? Right. And Kyle was like excusing the behavior a lot because Carl was his friend. This is why you also just like don't mix business with pleasure. Like it's never going to end well. But also like I think that part of it was the entitlement of Carl being like, I am a public figure. I am a recognizable face. I'm a celebrity. I need to be paid like a celebrity. And Kyle was like, I just want you to do your job and you're not doing it. Carl was being such a diva. And I feel like Kyle was just like, I'm here to just earn money and just like work hard. And you just want to be the face and just go to events and travel.

1:26:46Like there's more to this than that. Yeah. I understand his frustration. Like you don't just get to cruise and then collect a bunch of cash. You're not an influencer that's hawking this brand. I'd rather pay someone else. Yeah, exactly. Like, who are you even influencing, Carl? No, I know. So Kyle said, I'm just so fucking frustrated, man. He has Lindsay in his ear saying, you're invaluable. You're not being appreciated. When I hired him, he was unhirable and showed up to work drunk. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? He showed up to work one day so coked out, so coked out, he didn't bring his computer to work.

1:27:15Wait, that's actually, like, the concept of showing up to work without your computer because you've like been on a bender like that's actually like low-key funny no that's like so dark like it's i'm just imagining myself like just like all drugged up like heading to work just like without my laptop like what that's a dark that's dark so it seems like but the thing is that's like kind of confusing about this timeline is that like carl was supposed to be sober at this time. So I think that Kyle was referring to, because he was working for Lover Boy throughout like 2020, you know? So he was referring to before Carl was sober.

1:28:01It's like, now he's sober. But like, I think Kyle was still holding that against him, which is completely fair. Yes. And I don't think that Kyle should have outed him on national TV. Once again, everyone is always like outing Kyle, Carl. No, I know. Carl cannot trust anyone. He can't catch a break like all the secrets are just blown i feel like no other cast member on that show has had their shit out like carl no no it's like really unfair it is but like it's also clear that carl is not good at having a job that man doesn't like to work period that man does not like to work he he you know wants to be a uh stay at home stay at home guy just a stay at home guy I stay at home father.

1:28:45No, just guy. Just a guy. Like literally, literally a stay at home guy. And honestly, who could blame him? Like who likes to work? Same. Same. So the public breakup. Do you remember where you were when this news broke? Because I remember exactly where I was. Honestly, I don't remember. Christy, what? Oh my God. I, Henry and I were actually on vacation. This is going to sound so annoying. we went to this one we went to aix-en-provence we went to france oh yes and it was it was summer 2023 it was like august and it was the leg of the trip where henry and i were in paris and we were in a cab in paris and earned uber or whatever and i was like henry oh my god i was like oh my god he's like what what it was one of those things where i was like having a break and he was like what did someone die like what what's going on yeah i was like lindsey and carl ended their engagement.

1:29:40He was like, what are you talking about? I remember exactly where I was. It's one of those things where I just like one of those canon events. Something funny about Sophie and I, you guys already know that, you know, we hadn't met each other before we started this podcast, and now we're just the best of friends and great co-workers together. But funny enough, Sophie went to Aux-en-Provence in 2023. Sorry if I'm saying that incorrectly. It's Aix-en-Provence. What she said. Aix-en-Provence. Yes. And I went the next year and we figured out it's like it's not Paris. Like it's a rarely it's not a random part of the country, but it's not.

1:30:17Oh, really? And like a really tiny, tiny, tiny village in the French countryside. And we ended up staying coincidentally at the same hotel. Which sounds so fucking it sounds so fucking annoying. You guys, I'm sorry. But it's like we're like we stayed at the same hotel in the French countryside. I'm sorry. It was like actually one of our we've talked about this, one of our favorite places we've ever been. What was the hotel's name? Do you remember? I could look it up. It's, um, we'll look it up and share with you guys later. If you're planning like a France trip, please go to this village. The best, um, beef prevention, boeuf, provincial.

1:30:49Is that boeuf bourguignon? Boeuf, boeuf bourguignon. Yeah. I always talk about this. I talked about this on the Patreon. So I'm like many talents. You know, I just have so many. Finding good hotels. Yes. And that's one of them. And my, I love that about you. Wait a minute now. Oh, I think I stayed there with Henry. last year yeah wait a minute yeah literally i think maybe it was when you were posting pictures and i was like whoa whoa where did you stay that hey that looks familiar that looks familiar send me the pin like but that was that was a funny coincidence because it really was like a random ass hotel but i highly recommend it can we talk about how sophie's entire friends and family now greet her in the way that i greet her yeah yeah like when i was just i was just on vacation with my in-laws and also my brother-in-law's sister and her husband.

1:31:42And like so many baby snarks in the family. And everything was, hey, how's it going? Morden. And then also - Morden. And it's funny because you don't talk like that at all. I do now. I'm like adopting, I'm slowly morphing into the person that you guys think I am. Okay. Anyway, sorry. That was a really I just needed I just needed to tell you guys that like I just remember exactly where I was when this happened. Like that's how seismic. How did I get here? This was seismic, you guys. And this was also post Scandaball. And everyone was like, oh, they're trying to make another Scandaball. I don't think they were trying to do anything.

1:32:21Oh, no. They're miserable. Yeah, they're miserable all on their own. Yeah, they fucking hated each other. And something that Carl, Carl, I think, accused Lindsay of trying to have like an Ariana moment, trying to turn him into Tom Sandoval when it really wasn't that scandalous. It was just two people realizing that they weren't right for each other. And he said that leading up to their wedding that summer, they were fighting nonstop. And we see it on the show. We saw all of it. She accused him of breaking of sobriety, which is a really fucked up thing to say to someone. And they fought about his job prospects.

1:32:51You don't think I'm crushing life? Huh. No, it was painful. I'm not going to lie. And I remember thinking at that time, I wasn't really on Carl's side. I'm like, now everyone's seeing what I saw this entire time. But I think they were just he was just not in a good space because. Yeah. Just he was sober. Yeah. They were both miserable. And Carl says that like the breakup conversation that was on camera, which Lindsay claims is a blindside. He's like, first of all, I wasn't like going into that conversation wanting to break up with her. I wanted to have a conversation, which I don't entirely entirely believe.

1:33:25I think he wanted to break up with her. But, like, he was, like, I know that there's a lot of discourse about, like, how could she be blindsided? The relationship was, you know, shitty. In the moment, you don't realize that your relationship is shitty if you're trying to make it work. Like, you could subconsciously be like, yeah, my relationship is not, like, healthy. But you want it to work so bad that, like, you ignore it and you gaslight yourself into thinking you're happy. Like, I still believe that Lindsay, like, I think she was blindsided because she thought she was, like, going to marry this guy.

1:33:56And I think that Lindsay is so used to toxicity in relationships that she like didn't give a fuck that it was toxic. Oh, totally. She was willing to just like keep it going. Yeah, exactly. Like Lindsay would have ran down the aisle to him even though they were both miserable. So he did them both a favor. As a proud auntie to the newly one-year-old Miss Mo, I take my role very seriously. I may not be responsible for keeping her alive, but I am responsible for being her favorite and gifting her amazing pajamas. And here's the thing, if there's anything I know about Miss Mo and other babies in general, if they're uncomfortable, they will let you know.

1:34:30And that's why I and my sister and Miss Mo are obsessed with little sleepies. First, the fabric. It's so soft, I literally want to wear it myself. They're also designed with thoughtful little details that make getting dressed easier instead of a full contact sport. You're welcome, Audrey. Also, their pieces grow with your kid, which is huge. because every time I see Miss Mo, she's somehow a completely different size? Question mark, question mark. Little Sleepies actually lasts so you're not replacing everything every five minutes, which as someone who buys the cute stuff, I deeply appreciate. If you're expecting or dressing little ones, check out Little Sleepies.

1:35:06You can visit littlesleepies.com and use promo code goodnight for 10 % off your first order. My day kicks off with a refreshing Celsius energy drink, then straight to the gym. Pre-K pickup, back home to meal prep. Time for my fire station shift. One more Celsius, gotta keep the lights on. When the three alarm hits, I'm ready. Celsius. Live. Fit. Go. Grab a cold, refreshing Celsius at your local retailer or locate now at Celsius.com. So good, so good, so good. Spring styles are at Nordstrom Rack stores now, and they're up to 60 % off. Stock up and save on Rag & Bone, Madewell, Vince, All Saints, and more of your favorites.

1:35:47How did I not know Rack has Adidas? Why do we rack? For the hottest deals. Just so many good brands. Join the Nordy Club to unlock exclusive discounts, shop new arrivals first, and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. Planning a wedding shouldn't feel overwhelming. The Knot brings everything together in one place. Vendors who get your vibe, a custom planning checklist, guest list tools, and a free wedding website that syncs with it all. So instead of juggling a dozen naps and spreadsheets, you can actually enjoy getting married.

1:36:23Get started at thenot.com slash audio. The Knot. Let's plan your wedding together.

1:36:32So, uh, where was I? Okay, so after they canceled the wedding, Carl had to pay$125 ,000 in fees. And it was, like I said, a destination wedding in Mexico. and he also had to keep paying half the rent on their Manhattan apartment for nine months after he moved out dude my god$13 ,000 a month by the way$13 ,000 I would I would just say that's like insane$250k just to leave a relationship that's that's crazy yeah so I just said like stay on the side of the apartment just can we just coexist please yeah it really it really cost him but that's how Miss Aruly was he was like I will pay anything to be out of here and um you know at the reunion, he apologized, said the breakup was better for both of them in the long run.

1:37:19And it seems like they've been like spotted together at some, like, I don't even know. Bravo events. Maybe it was BravoCon where there was like a photo of them smiling together. The letter that Carl sent to wedding guests was leaked and it's kind of just like, it was worded well. It was about, you know, words cannot possibly express how difficult the last two weeks have been and we are so incredibly sorry to all of our guests, blah, blah, blah. Um, So, yeah, sad. But he also, I remember a topic of discussion during the season was the fact that he was California sober. So it turns out that he was smoking weed or taking edibles.

1:37:59It's not really clear. Using THC to manage anxiety, depression and PTSD, according to him. And if that works for him, that works for him. Like, who are we to judge? But I think that Lindsay and other people that are kind of sticklers about sobriety don't accept California sober as like a real thing. Yeah, I don't know. Like, I'm not addicted to any substances. Like, I couldn't even comment, but I could imagine it's a slippery slope. Yeah. And like, I don't know. Whatever works for you. I think there's a common misconception that weed can't be addictive, but it definitely can be. It definitely can be, yeah.

1:38:38But, again, like, I know that California sobriety works for a lot of people, so, like, go off. So he was really overwhelmed after this breakup. For the first time, they were, like, paparazzi outside his apartment, and it was a really stressful time for him. Yeah. He ended up moving to Brooklyn to get away from the craziness of being recognized on the street. He talks about Brooklyn like it's Indiana. Indiana. Yeah, like some random city in Indiana, which, by the way, you have on your note here, he was raving about how low-key Greenpoint is. Oh, yeah. When I saw it, you guys remember, saw him at the airport in March.

1:39:18Wasn't he like, Sophie? He was like, Sophie? Yeah, like he literally approached me. He was so nice, by the way. Stop, you're going to make me cry. Like, I can't with this. No, I can't. Carl is really nice from like the, honestly, many times that I've interacted with him. He's very, very, very nice. I think he's so sweet. Yeah. And like, same thing when I saw him at Softbar at the Softbar event. He was like, Sophie? Like, I say like many times, like we've like met a couple times. The fact that he has always like, remember my name and approached me and has been really friendly like that. That says a lot.

1:39:53But yeah, he was talking about how low key Greenpoint is. He loves Greenpoint and that's where Softbar is. And there is some subtle Lindsay shade in the book. He says, I have not disparaged my ex in the media. I haven't got on podcasts to tell my side of the story, implying that there is more to the story. Whatever. It's very clear that he still to this day has disdain for Lindsay, which is fair. Like, they were not compatible and they're exes. So, sure. So, let's move on to Softbar, his grand finale. He's finally made it. And yeah, I mean, I went to Softbar, as you guys know. I think it looks really great.

1:40:39Do I think that it's the best idea in the world and a multi-billion dollar business? Obviously not. But the way that he described it, and I've talked about this before on the show, is your options as a sober person are usually sugary mocktails or soda. Like, why can't something have electrolytes in it? Or, I don't know, I'm like making up ingredients, whey protein. I don't know. I cannot remember like what other ingredients. But he was like, why can't they be good for you? You know? So the way he described it actually made sense. But he says in the book that he wants to expand soft bar to other cities.

1:41:17Mr. Worldwide. Mr. Worldwide. Come to OC, Carl. I would support it. And also he doesn't call it a sober bar. He calls it a mindful consumption bar. Everything is intentional and mindful. You know what I kind of feel badly now that you're talking about soft bar? On the most recent season of Summer House when all of his colleagues were going to that event. And it was like kind of far, right? Remember they all like had a schlep. Oh, in New Jersey, yeah. Yes, yes. And how everyone was kind of like low-key making fun of him. But like they were showing up and they were being gracious and they were supporting.

1:41:50I know. behind the scenes like jesse i actually kind of appreciate jesse being kind of transparent to his face he's like so you've invested like eighty thousand dollars just on like renovations a lot of drinks and i'm like at least you gotta sell a lot of drinks to break even yeah like jesse looking at the math and like it doesn't really make a lot of sense but okay do you yeah so um yeah it it definitely is an interesting business plan but wishing carl the best with it uh also Greenpoint, by the way, for the record, I would go there. I would maybe go there more often if it wasn't on the other side of the planet.

1:42:26I live on the Upper East Side, and Greenpoint is really, really, really far and hard to get to. I ended up expensing. I was like, Christy, I took an$85 Uber to Greenpoint. So can I expense that? Is that okay? And she was like, yeah, sure. Me and my roommate. I was like, thanks, boss. When we lived in SF in different neighborhoods, every time we'd go to a different neighborhood, my roommate would go, God, I hope you bring a passport like that's fucking far like from upper east side to green point that is very far it's interestingly enough if you guys don't know we did a patreon episode patreon.com slash snarket pod on our dating misadventures and that one guy that flew to california to see me and then i flew back to new york to see him he lived in green point and i stayed with him so i you have your own relationship with green point exactly you know i'm a i'm a seasoned native of yeah of green point so So I am familiar.

1:43:16Yeah. Clearly. Yeah. Really fast. He talks about his teeth journey. So we all know that his teeth have been something that he has always been insecure about. On the early seasons, they were yellow. And then he got veneers that were too big and too white. But he says that he had chipped teeth and discoloration for being hit in the face by sports equipment when he was young. And people were always making fun of his teeth on the first season. And, you know, dentists recommended veneers, which he ends up getting. but they were just like so big and white and they just looked like an amorphous block and he's since apparently gotten them fixed but they still look very jarring you know what it reminds me of when hillary duff got her veneers oh yeah they were bad and she got the fix miley cyrus recently got hers fixed yeah sometimes it's too much yeah it's like sometimes they just don't like the size doesn't work for your face sometimes.

1:44:14And I'm glad that people are figuring that out. Like Miley, Miley's were really bad for a while and she looks so much better now. So I mean, I feel bad for Carl that his journey with his teeth has been tough. I know that he mentioned that it's like one of his biggest insecurities. So hopefully he gets that figured out. I mean, I guess he technically has gotten it figured out. But, yeah, I mean, that's about it, you guys, for Cake Eater, the highlights in Carl Ratke's journey on our screens. Christy, what are your thoughts? First, let me go first, okay? I can't shut the fuck up. So, oh, I, oh, um, I think that Carl, I think that he's been through a lot of trauma and I, I don't know.

1:45:16Like, I, I don't look at him any differently after this, you know, like I, I know that he's been through trauma. I kind of, it's just, I feel like it's stuff that I already know about him. And I know a lot of people are like, oh my God, I look at him so differently. And it's like, I don't really like, I feel like I knew this stuff about him. How do you feel after like hearing this? That's a good way to put it because I would say the majority of the events that he's described in this book, we've already known about through watching the show, with the exception of the Bahamas trip where the man tragically died.

1:45:45Yeah. I think it's more of just like adding color to what we saw on the show already. But even at that point, he still was very restricted with it. It felt like he was pulling back a little bit. And I think when you're releasing a memoir i mean i talked about it last week guys travis barker's memoir was everything like it was so good so juicy say what you want about him but he unveiled everything and anything and i think that's what makes a memoir really shine jessica simpsons as well so i think you want it to be revealing if you're going to tell your life story just go for it like go all in and i think otherwise i think there's probably other endeavors you could probably do that would maybe make you more money but in any case i at the end of the day he's i think he's really harmless i think he's just continuing to find himself and i really want him to continue reaching for that piece and i think he's getting closer and closer to it every day and it's clear he's he's making a lot of good strides and yeah it's never too late we say this all the time it's never too late to start over or take a different path or try out a new endeavor he was a reality star from his like early from 30 to like 40 he might break away pretty soon with the with the show kind of leaning towards, it seems, a younger cast.

1:46:49And now he's, you know, he's an entrepreneur. So it seems like there's good things to come for him. And I hope he gets the, you know, the happiness he deserves. I agree. I feel like he is a work in progress. Like, he literally is a work in progress. I think that he is still, at 41 years old, still finding himself, which is honestly kind of tragic in its own way that he that he is in his 40s now not that it's like ever too late or there's any timeline but i think that his life has been marked by a lot of confusion around who he is as a person and i think that he he leaned on substances for so long that he never really got a chance to figure that out and i hope that he finds himself honestly and he actually ends the book on um a nice note and it says, and it kind of relates to what we're talking about.

1:47:46If you're out there dealing with trauma or addiction or whatever, just know that I can get better. It won't be easy and there's no magic fix, but it's worth fighting for, which I think is a nice sentiment. I think that he really wants to help people and inspire people with this book. So can't hate on it, but let us know, you guys, what are your Carl opinions, Carl Hot takes? Do you feel differently about him now? Was there any, like, other Carl controversies that we may have missed. Like overall, again, I feel like he's like pretty harmless other than, you know, the few things that we have pointed out.

1:48:21Right. But yeah, let us know, you guys. And petition to get Carl on the podcast, by the way, at Snark Bay Pod. We've asked many a time. Okay. Yeah, I've DM'd him many a time. And he has not responded. And he even said he would tweet around with the idea. So if you guys could do us a favor and on our Instagram that we'll post on our grid, tag him at call radke come on snarkbait pod and if he sees it enough then who knows um you guys know where to find us we're at snarkbait pod on instagram i'm chris at christy noel underscore underscore it's at soap underscore ross don't forget about our live shows all the links x1 entertainment.com slash snarkbait are in our bio dates la may 15th new york june 12th chicago june 14th patreon.com slash snarkbait pod we post episodes every wednesday out free episodes Tuesday Thursdays.

1:49:08And we will see you next week for another episode of Dark Energy Tuesday. Bye. Bye.

1:49:29I've been shopping on Poshmark for years. It's my go-to when I'm searching for a holy grail that's sold out on the primary market or everyday essentials that I really just want to pay less than retail for. It's so fun to track down things on my wishlist, whether it's Mew Mew sunglasses, Reformation boots, or a very specific sold-out dough and dress. Poshmark is the place to find the must-have styles you've been wanting without having to pay full price for. I was tracking down a Goldie Parker long jean shorts for so long and I literally found them in less than five minutes on Poshmark and for half the price.

1:50:01I've never looked back. No, it's not too good to be true, Poshmark is and always has been shaped by real people and real style with millions of pre-loved items ready to shop, from wardrobe staples to vintage luxury and rare, archi-worthy gems. And the best part? When you're ready to part with something, you can sell it back on Poshmark and reach more than 80 million fashion lovers on the platform, ready to shop your closet. I've genuinely sold so many times on Poshmark, and it's so fast and simple. New deals and styles are listed every day, so don't wait. Download the Poshmark app and use code SNARK when you sign up to get$10 off your first purchase.

1:50:38Or shop now at Poshmark.com slash SNARK and get$10 off your first purchase. That's P-O-S-H-M-A-R-K dot com slash SNARK. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. The message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just$15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird. Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upfront payment of$45 for a three-month plan, equivalent to$15 per month required. Intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available.

1:51:16Taxes and fees extra. See full terms at mintmobile.com. This time of year, the school calendar really starts to fill up. Spring activities, testing season, and that final push toward the end of the year. It's a great moment for kids to stay focused and build confidence in what they're learning. That's where IXL comes in. IXL is an award-winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand their schoolwork, from math and reading to writing and science. It's designed for pre-K through 12th grade, with personalized interactive content that adapts to each child's level and pace. IXL makes it easy to stay on track with instant feedback and clear explanations, skills organized by grade level, and simple progress tracking.

1:51:55It fits into even the busiest spring schedules. It's also trusted nationwide. In fact, IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the U.S. Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now. Listeners can get an exclusive 20 % off IXL membership when they sign up today at IXL.com forward slash today. Visit IXL.com forward slash today to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price. This time of year, the school calendar really starts to fill up. Spring activities, testing season, and that final push toward the end of the year. It's a great moment for kids to stay focused and build confidence in what they're learning.

1:52:32That's where IXL comes in. IXL is an award-winning online learning platform that helps kids truly understand their schoolwork, from math and reading to writing and science. It's designed for pre-K through 12th grade, with personalized interactive content that adapts to each child's level and pace. IXL makes it easy to stay on track with instant feedback and clear explanations, skills organized by grade level, and simple progress tracking. It fits into even the busiest spring schedules. It's also trusted nationwide. In fact, IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts in the U.S. Make an impact on your child's learning.

1:53:08Get IXL now. Listeners can get an exclusive 20 % off IXL membership when they sign up today at IXL.com forward slash today. Visit IXL.com forward slash today to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.