What’s the Snark on Lauren Conrad?

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28:12Christy Noel:and let's get into the sex tape rumor that i feel like really put the show like into a different stratosphere in the beginning of season three so seasons one and two were focused on lauren and jason's relationship and kind of this like innocent fun going out going to area going to ledu getting tables don't forget ketchup oh my god ketchup i think that was on the sunset strip Yeah, that was such a poppin' restaurant at the time. And then at the beginning of season three, this was right off the heels of Heidi leaving Lauren and moving out of their shared apartment and moving in with Spencer. And there were rumors about an alleged sex tape between Elsie and her ex-boyfriend, Jason Waller.

28:56Christy Noel:And it gave us some of the most iconic lines. You know what you did. You know what you did. In that white dress. And her hair was tied, you know. Yeah, and the little bun. Yeah. Yeah. Loose, messy bun. Yes. White strapless little mini. The slut strands, I believe, in the front framing her face. Yeah. Also, yeah, like her like side bangs that she always had too. Side bangs. Did you rock a side bang in high school? I did. Like my freshman or early on. It was early on in high school that I was like, yeah, side bangs. Yeah. I too had side bangs. And why was our part always so – I think Lauren was the reason our part was so aggressive.

29:33Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

29:33Christy Noel:I don't think we've ever had the side part ever since. Like, that went bye-bye in, like, 2009, I feel. It works on some people. Some people still do side parts. For me, I prefer the middle. And I think my hair is just used to a middle part now that, like, it won't even do a side part. Yeah. But a lot of people still do the side part and look good. It just wasn't for me. Yeah. Spidey constantly denied involvement in pushing those sex tape rumors. And people just assumed, no, Spencer leaked it to Perez because at the time, Perez was so iconic. His website was so iconic. Sophie and I were everyday viewers of the blog.

30:08Christy Noel:And they were buddies, Perez and Spencer. And at one point, Heidi and Spencer even tried to pin it on Brody, claiming that the sex tape was in fact real, but it wasn't their fault that the rumors were being pushed out there. And I remember one episode of The Hills, Spencer made jokes like, oh, it looks like Lauren and Jason are getting back into the movie making business. Or it was, I think it was Heidi that said that, but so, so shady. Yeah, so shady. And Perez Hilton was like heavily involved in the storyline behind the scenes, which is so funny to think about like how much of a stalwart he was on like the Kardashian season one, like early scenes of the hills.

30:46Like, he was everywhere on these reality shows. And I know we'll get into this, but apparently Lauren's anger had less to do with the alleged sex tape and more to do with the horrible nickname that Perez Hilton called her, which we've done a whole Perez Hilton episode about how much he bullied young women and hated women and called them misogynistic things and drew dicks on their faces. but his nickname for her was Beef Curtains and apparently that nickname was supplied by Spencer.

31:20Christy Noel:Yes yes that is humiliating degrading disgusting misogynistic I mean there's not enough words in the in the dictionary to even describe how horrible people were to Lauren. Yeah like you said Perez Hilton coined this horrible nickname for her Beef Curtains which is gross because looking back, Lauren was 21 years old at the time. Yeah. When this happened. And I genuinely think that this event particularly, she kind of coasted, right? Laguna Beach 1 and 2, Hills 1 and 2. And I think once this came out, she realized, oh, there's a much darker side to reality TV that I've never really been exposed to before.

31:55Christy Noel:Yeah. Because she's consistently gotten a really good edit. Yeah. I think Tristan was more probably used to having these like nasty things said about her, but not so much lc yeah i mean she was always in control because she was the protagonist like she was the narrator everything was coming from her side of the story and all of a sudden it's like she wasn't in control anymore because spencer you're dealing with spencer pratt going fucking rogue you know which i would you would never want to be on that side of the internet and i i also think that when i think back to perez's blog i remember him picking on um i mean really everyone i remember he would have a column on like Lindsay Lohan every single day.

32:36Christy Noel:I feel like Britney and Lindsay were always attacked. But I feel like when it came to reality stars, reality TV, again, wasn't as big as it is today. So it felt like Lauren was his first reality TV. And feel free to correct me if this is incorrect, but I feel like she was one of the first reality stars on his blog that experienced the wrath that a normal public celebrity would have usually felt. It just felt unprecedented. Yeah. And again, she was so young. So many of these girls were so young, like Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus. Vanessa. They were all so freaking young when Perez Hilton would bully them.

33:10But yeah, it was just like on another level, like calling her beef curtains is insane. Insane.

33:19Christy Noel:Yeah, that is. And we don't even have to explain what that means. Like use your imagination or don't like yeah yeah yeah yeah right right lauren said that when the rumor had broke broken on perez a friend had called her to notify her hey there was this rumor circulating about you online and she said the first person that she called was her mom she was so um embarrassed and she said that she felt like she couldn't breathe um my take the sex tape i think definitely existed really yes oh i have and i'll get into why i think a little oh a little bit yeah so i think for for sure the fact that she said on us weekly on april 5th lauren received a shocking phone call her friend told her that jason waller was peddling to get the sex tape um leaked for money and she said that my friend started reading the item to me i literally could not breathe lauren conrad tells us weekly i thought she was joking when she started telling me and i think we have Let's go back to like whenever this was, 2005, 2006, when Jason Waller, who is sober now, and his sobriety was a huge part of The Hills in the Beginnings storyline.

34:26Christy Noel:He was deeply in his addiction at this point. And I think he was likely, my theory is that Jason was likely trying to shop the video to support maybe his addiction. And a production company by the name of Sugar DVD was allegedly willing to offer Jason half a million dollars for this tape. And Sugar DVD ended up withdrawing their offer when Jason was arrested in Seattle. He was caught saying really abhorrent, disgusting things. Sugar DVD said, We refuse to support any person who feels that it is in any way acceptable to rattle off racial slurs, I think he was saying the N-word, and slanderous language about African American people, homosexual people, and the police department.

35:06Christy Noel:Like, yeah, saying just like probably the F-slur, the N-word, horrible, horrible things. What was he saying about police department? Was he calling them like pigs? Yeah, I think it was. Like that's on the same level. That's on the same level. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you guys call the police 5-0 in high school? No. Oh, we would always say like 5-0, 5-0. I don't know why. Wait, what did 5-0 mean? I think it was like there were, you know, like the police will have code for like, oh, there's a murder. It's a 2-1-2. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think 5-0 means police, maybe in police jargon. Again, if you're part of law enforcement, please let us know if I'm wrong.

35:44Christy Noel:But in high school, we would always say 5050 whenever cops were rolling a party. Oh, my God. That's so funny. I don't even think. I think we literally were like the pigs. Yeah, the pigs. Oh, my God. It's so crazy. Also, how many sex tape scandals there were in the early 2000s. And like if Lauren Conrad did have a sex tape, like. That's totally fine. Like, we're not judging and. Like, she was of age, like, consenting. That's all that matters. Obviously not consenting to having it leaked. But it's so crazy how, like, making a sex tape was just, like, what you did in the early 2000s. Like, do people still make sex tapes?

36:27Christy Noel:No, that was the way to get famous. I mean, like, Kim Kardashian. Paris Hilton. Paris Hilton. The issue with, in Lauren's case, was she was already huge. so she didn't need it to bring up her stardom. Yeah, and she had like the nice girl next door image. Yes, yes. And I think the big deal for Lauren and the betrayal she felt, again, this is just my theory because she to this day says it doesn't exist. She felt betrayed because the idea of her ex who she loved, I think she was like so, so in love with Jason, was shopping it around and betraying her trust. Yeah, definitely. And Lauren, of course, immediately posted a response on her website saying, I am posting this note on my website regarding the reports that have circulated on the internet this morning.

37:11Christy Noel:Jason and I would like to make it clear that we did not make a tape with us having sex. Jason and I were both shocked and hurt that people would say such horrible things about us. I can't believe that somebody would go to such great lengths to try to damage my reputation. I feel very grateful and blessed to have friends and family to support me at this time. I would especially like to thank my fans for standing by me. And she, um, this is what is really, really crazy. So in April of 2007, Lauren Conrad and Jason were insisting that it doesn't exist. But there were also accusations that were being made that Lauren tried to break into Jason's home to steal back the video.

37:48Christy Noel:And she also was abusing ADHD medication like Adderall. Just like all these things were being piled on her at the time. and uh Lauren says you know despite me and Heidi having a long-standing history and friendship she was the only person who didn't reach out to me and she said it was the worst week ever for me and someone who supposedly my friend didn't even try to call me or text me during this difficult time and the one thing that I always like that I was thinking of as I was like writing this out and like reading the reading the outline was it's such hypocritical behavior for Lauren to admonish Spidey rather than admonishing like I think two can be true it's it she should admonish Spidey for pushing and leaking the story but for not admonishing the very man who was in possession of it and who was threatening to sell it to support his drug and alcohol habit at the time yeah like to me I like really commit I want to just say this about Jason Waller I really commend him for like making it his life's work to like help other those in recovery like I think it's really amazing what he's done.

38:53Christy Noel:But him at that time was very dark-sided. And I believe, I 100 % believe that he was trying to sell it for money because he was hard up on cash. But she was even seen filming with him after the rumors. And it just makes me wonder, like, that's such a double standard, Elsie. Like, Jason, I think, was in the wrong. And Heidi and Spencer were leaking it. But like, they're both, both parties are wrong, in my opinion. Definitely. I would agree that both parties are wrong maybe she extended more sympathy to jason because he was like in the middle of fighting an addiction and maybe it was like you know he he was fighting his demons whereas heidi and spencer were just being like evil for no reason you know right right and i think uh spencer has admitted that he did leak it to perez um if i'm not mistaken but in august of 2007 spencer publishes this disgusting post on his blog and i won't go through the entire thing but i'll give you a couple highlights.

39:47Christy Noel:Lauren ruined Heidi and Lauren's friendship when she told Heidi that she could not be friends with her as long as she dated me. The fact is, Lauren is in love with Heidi. She used to scream at Heidi if she left her alone one night. She used to ask to get in bed with Heidi and I to cuddle in the mornings. Believe what you want. When those cameras turn off, LC, aka Beef Curtains, is a completely different person. She goes back to being the spoiled brat that made her famous on Laguna Beach. Excuse me, the famous boyfriend sealer. I mean, this girl has not had one functional relationship in her whole life and she's going to try and tell Heidi how to live her life and her relationships.

40:19Christy Noel:Ha! The LC is a pathetic wannabe fashion designer who can't even dress herself and looks good. How is she going to design a line? Ha! It should be called Beef Curtains by LC. I only call her this because this is what people like Brody Jenner, Stephen Coletti and Jason Waller all go around calling her. Like that's so mean to bring in her exes and say that they all call her that. It's so, so disgusting. And yeah, I would fucking never speak to my friend again because this is Heidi's boyfriend. This is supposed to be her friend that's going around, her boyfriend going around and saying these disgusting, unforgivable things.

40:56And then you have Heidi, who I remember vividly on the show says, I can't control what Spencer does. I know. You can control the fact that you're fucking dating him.

41:08Christy Noel:Yeah. No, I know. Oh, my God. Just completely. I mean, there's no wonder that Lauren was like, I want nothing to do with you ever again, Heidi. And Heidi was like so confused by it. Why are you confused? I know. She's like, you can't help the person you love, Lauren. I can't control Spencer. It's like, well, he's doing something absolutely horrible to your friend. I can't even imagine. No. I'm just thinking of Henry. Like, Henry going, Henry leaking, like, a story about me and, like, writing all this stuff. Like, it's insane. Like, what? No, it's insane. You would, the podcast would be over. You wouldn't speak to me ever again.

41:44Yeah.

41:45Christy Noel:And then you think, I can't control what Henry does. But it's like, Henry wouldn't even do that because he's a sane person. Do you know what I mean? There's a screw missing in Spencer. Like, to actually go on. And Heidi. Heidi, like, never was working with a full deck of cards, first of all. Like, she was always, I mean, we watched her at Bolthouse. productions. Like she, she would just pretend to work all day. Like Tyra Banks in the Life Size movie. When she was just typing. Fake typing. That was literally Heidi. What did Heidi's like, didn't it show Heidi's calendar once? What did it say? Yeah, it was like lunch.

42:17Christy Noel:Lunch. I think that was the only thing on her calendar, just lunch. And it was like two hours, like 12 to two. She worked a six hour day. So fucking stupid. Yeah, she is really dumb. Spencer, in September, just a month after he posts this nasty post on his blog, gives an interview to the New York Post. And the post asks, you know, why does Lauren Conrad hate you so much? He goes, Lauren started out loving me, telling me she wanted me to meet her dad. She stopped liking me when she and her boyfriend Brody split up. Because Spencer was kind of the one that pulled the strings to get them to all double date.

42:50Christy Noel:Because Brody was his BFF at the time. Heidi and I used to go on double dates with her and Brody. When she and Brody broke up, Lauren became the third wheel. She wanted Heidi to go back to being her single friend. It's as simple as that. And I want to know your thoughts. So on people saying now watching it back, Lauren's a controlling friend. Yes. Like, I think she was very much a controlling friend. She was. She was. Like, she never, ever, ever liked any of the guys that her friends were dating because I think that she wanted them kind of under her thumb. I agree. Yeah. And I mean, like, she was so mean to Audrina.

43:26And Justin Bobby was a shitty boyfriend. So I understand. I understand her being like, no, my friend deserves better. Like, fuck that guy. She also was really mean to Audrina. Put her in the back house, in the back building. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that guest house by the pool. She put her in the back building. It was really sad.

43:48Christy Noel:No, I know. That's when they always say, like, a threesome friendship will never work. because Lo got a lot of heat that season, remember? Because she became the villain that was icing Adrena out. Were you always team Adrena? Yeah, I always liked Adrena. I mean, I always kind of felt like mixed feelings towards Lauren. I really obviously rooted for her. She was the protagonist and the narrator. But also at the same time, I'd be like, you're so annoying. Yes. You're so annoying. You can never, she can never admit when she's wrong. Correct. She was really annoying. Also, like, I think that, I don't know, there's something to be said about the you'll always be known as the girl who didn't go to Paris of it all.

44:31Like how she was always, you know, revolving her life around guys, which I think was also relatable. Like that was relatable for me, for sure.

44:41Christy Noel:Yes, of course, of course. And we're speaking of, like, of course, the storyline where she decided to stay at a Malibu beach house with Jason for the summer instead of going to Paris with Teen Vogue. And Lisa Love, that was her name, right? Lisa Love was like, you'll always be known as the girl that didn't go to Paris. And she goes, how did that work out? How did that work out with your boyfriend? And she goes, she shakes her head. No, like, literally, just a slight nod, like, shaking up the head. It just... God, the way that, like, Sophie and I's brain, like, we just remember the most useless, pointless shit.

45:17I can't tell you what I had for dinner last night.

45:23Christy Noel:No, I know. But I can tell you sure as shit. What Lauren Conrad looked like in Lisa Love's office. Yep. After Paris. Yep. What Lauren Conrad was wearing when she went into the casita. And she goes, Whitney, because Whitney Port went instead. And Lisa goes, Whitney, how was Paris? And she goes, it was amazing.

45:44Christy Noel:We need psychological help. I know. We really do. Sorry, going back to the sex tape thing. By the way, sorry, to speak to Lauren Comrade's controlling nature, I remember watching The Hills on my TV in high school and my mom walking by the TV and being like, Lauren's not a very good friend. God, she's so controlling. My mother was even sick of her shit. Yeah. But going back to September of 2007, I watched this clip of Lauren giving an interview to Tyra Banks, which I've talked about this before on the show. Every day I would come home from school and watch the Tyra show. Like, I was obsessed with the Tyra show.

46:21Yes, you were.

46:22Christy Noel:And Lauren was giving an interview on the Tyra show. And I can't believe I don't remember this interview because I watch every damn show on every season or episode. But even the way that the interview is being driven, Tyra is basically victim blaming Lauren for even, not victim blaming, Tyra basically asks Lauren, okay, Lauren, young girls look up to you. And now look what has transpired. They're going to think it's okay to make a sex tape. Again, like as if making a sex tape with two consenting adults is a bad thing. Like Lauren shouldn't be able to do what she's allowed to do in her own time.

46:56Christy Noel:and my god the amount of virtual virtue signaling in 2007 was out of this world and so nauseating and even lauren like i feel badly for her she's 21 22 years old and she's like you know tara that's the reason i got so upset because i don't want young girls to think that this is appropriate again it just like it's so much um like it's giving the promise ring type culture like you you need to be just like devout and and you know live so like chastely i don't know i don't i don't like any of this. Yeah. Just six months later, in April of 2008, Spidey goes on the Tyra Banks show saying that the sex tape does in fact exist.

47:34Christy Noel:And Heidi says, you know, I didn't see it, the sex tape, she means. She goes, but I knew that there was something. And I was like, you got to figure this out. Then it came out and it was blamed on me. I was the one that was trying to help Lauren through this situation. And, you know, Spencer goes on to say, I know for 100 % fact that the sex tape does exist. 1000%. I know for a fact and I would take a lie detector test because I know. Why do they care so much? Like, why do you care? They made it their life's mission to make sure everyone knew that this tape did in fact exist. It's so creepy. Right.

48:12And Spencer

48:14Christy Noel:goes on to say on another interview with Ryan Seacrest, he goes, the bottom line is I heard Elsie crying about the sex tape that Jason Waller did have and was trying to sell so many times for six months. And Heidi was trying to get it back with Elsie, but they never got it back. So there's no rumors. Bottom line, Heidi never made something up. Jason and Elsie had this. Jason was trying to sell it. Heidi tried to get it back with Lauren. They blame Heidi once it goes public. And he goes on to say that Lauren's parents ended up calling Jason's parents and they got the tape shut down. And he said it's that simple.

48:45Christy Noel:Like, again, I definitely think that this sex tape did in fact exist. But it doesn't matter. Yeah, but it literally doesn't matter. He's a sucky person. Yeah. Remember that? Of course. And I think that this storyline pushed Lauren Conrad's protagonist hero type arc even more. Yeah. She became an icon. She was a meme. She was the moment. She started getting brand deals before the influencer brand deals even were a thing. she was landing so many magazine covers Cosmo Teen Vogue 17 did you subscribe to any of those magazines by the way Cosmo oh my god of course of course yeah remember Cosmo Girl there was Cosmo Girl there was 17 there was um Teen People there was Teen Vogue yeah like this was like the heyday of you know little girly pop magazines I loved it I was obsessed with magazines me too it was Cosmo Girl, what a, like a deep cut.

49:42Christy Noel:I know. It's so funny to think about. That was the teeny bopper of Cosmopolitan because every Cosmopolitan would be like, seven ways to suck his dick. How to prep for anal. And it's like, oh, they made a magazine. They made a Cosmo for teenagers. Like, how is that possible? No, like it's so insidious. If you really think about it, like, what was that about? And we were like 14, like reading that. Yeah. Yeah. I remember I would like cut out like the, like I would like make collages on my bedroom wall from like the magazines. Like I was so obsessed. When we, before we had TikTokers or influencers telling us what their skincare routine was, we're like for oily skin, use this.

50:25Christy Noel:Yes. I remember those. Yes. And then it'd be like, like how to dress for day to night. Like if you're, you go to work and then you go to a happy hour. First of all, I was 12. The second half, like, that has never really been a factor in my life as an adult. My ass is showing up in the same, donning the same outfit from work to happen. Yep. That's so funny. Let us know, you guys, were you more of a 17 read or so for Cosmo Girl or both? Like, brand agnostic. Honestly, both. Yeah. Yeah, me too. But not like the quizzes, too. The quizzes. They were so fun. If you chose mostly A's, you are. Yeah. Oh, God.

51:07Christy Noel:You are. I don't even know. Like, what were the cats? You are a. I'm getting, like, really emotional and nostalgic because, like, we actually, like, didn't have phones. We just, like, flipped through magazines and it was, like, so fun to just sit there and, like, read. Oh, my. No, no. And now kids these days will never understand. They're just like, what's a magazine? Like, what are you talking about? It's sad. The magazine industry, like, barely existing anymore is, like, very sad to me. But that's a whole other story. You know what's actually really sad? Sorry, a bit of a tangent. But my dad still reads the newspaper.

51:38Christy Noel:I feel like Doug probably does too. Does Doug? Yeah. Yeah, but like mostly online. Yeah. See, Doug is like still, I think he's really technologically savvy. Yeah, he is. Yeah, see, my dad is not. So my dad is like, oh, I just got a subscription to the Orange County Register for a dollar for a year. Stop. That's so cute. I'm going to cry. And no, but when I tell you, Sophie, when I go to his house, the register... is this thin. I unfortunately have had very bad shaving experiences, from red bumps and ingrown hairs to cuts and razor burn. But just because I'm a hairy Jewish girl does not mean I have to settle for a horrible shaving experience.

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54:55Christy Noel:Way fair, every style, every home. With the weather lately, I feel like I'm always out and about doing things. Errands, workouts, beach days, you name it. And when summer hits, I am always reminded that I need clothes that can actually keep up with all of that. And that's why I joined Fabletics as a VIP. It completely changed how I shop for a new season. New VIPs unlock major savings on their first purchase, so stocking up on cute, comfortable pieces doesn't feel like some major splurge. When I signed up as a new VIP with Fabletics, I got 70 to 80 % off of everything. It made it so easy to grab multiple matching sets, shorts, tanks, and lounge pieces for the summer without overthinking it.

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56:09Christy Noel:Shop now at Fabletics.com slash snark to get 70 to 80 % off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Take a really quick style quiz and be sure to select snark when prompted to unlock this offer. This is a limited time offer, so don't wait. Again, that's fabletics.com slash snark for 70 to 80 % off everything as a new VIP. I know it's sad. It's sad. My mom got, so we used to be subscribed to People Magazine. My mom bought one. I can't remember which one it was when she visited me a couple months ago. And she was like, here you go. I think she bought it when she was at the airport to read on the plane.

56:41And she gave it to me. It was this then. A magazine? I was like, yeah, it was a People Magazine. I was like, that is so depressing. They used to be like thick and full of ads and full of stories. And it was like 25 pages.

56:53Christy Noel:No, it's really depressing thinking back on it. So this was the golden year of magazines and when people were on their desktops reading blogs. But let's go back into the Hills. So during filming, Elsie had a$2.5 million salary. She was obviously the Hills highest paid cast member because she was a narrator. According to the Daily Beast, she was making$125K per episode. and her deal also reportedly included a clause that did not allow any of her fellow castmates to make more than her. Wow. And again, we've just touched on this, but she was the narrator. She was the protagonist. The entire show was rooted in Lauren's point of view and narrative.

57:30Yeah.

57:31Christy Noel:And she was really the reason why people were getting paid. Like the reason The Hills even existed was because they found her to be a compelling enough of a character on Laguna that she deserved her own show and her own spinoff series. Which is crazy to think about also, but. Because she wasn't. She wasn't compelling. She literally wasn't. Right. She was just bland enough. Like we said, she was just bland and, you know, nice enough. Yes. Right. And she was very pretty and wealthy. Oh, my God. Talk about, like, being right place, right time. Because in today's world, Lauren Conrad would not be interesting enough to be a reality star because we demand more from our reality stars today.

58:05Christy Noel:Right. And I didn't even talk about this in the notes here. But the interesting part is the reason The Hills really fell off, and Spencer Pettis said this publicly, was because Jersey Shore aired in, I think, 2008 or 2009. And when Jersey Shore came onto the scene, everyone was like, we don't care about The Hills. This is child's play. Like, you know, Jersey Shore, they were fist pumping. They were bringing grenades, landmines back home, having two girls in different rooms. Like, it was—it brought reality television to a whole other stratosphere. And people were sick of, like, the scripted type show that The Hills started to become.

58:38Christy Noel:But in any case, going back to the earnings, I have heard rumors, obviously, that Lauren was incredibly controlling. Like, I'm the reason you're here type thing. And I have no doubt that she demanded, like, obviously per her contract, that she be paid the most. And it also kind of begs the question, I'm curious what you think. She definitely did have to work more because she was doing narration as well as just filming every day. but does that um but knowing that she had such a favorable edit does that warrant her getting paid the most because i think today right and correct me if i'm wrong i think today the housewives they are paid based on seniority but also if you're bringing more then you're probably going to get paid more like i think now would this pay structure be the same knowing that she wasn't really bringing anything to the table and like spencer and heidi were bringing more drama like did they deserve did Spidey deserved to get paid more because they were putting more of themselves on the line.

59:34I think today, if The Hills were to air today, they would be treated more like an ensemble cast. At the time, this was the only reality show to ever exist where there was one narrator. And so, yeah, it makes sense that she got paid the most because she was the only narrator. She was the center of the show, the protagonist. That wouldn't exist today. Like, all of these shows are ensemble casts.

59:58Christy Noel:Right, right. Agreed. agreed um by 2009 she was the biggest star and she wanted out from the show she couldn't do it anymore and she probably had earned so much money at this point in her career yeah she was like i can sit pretty now i don't need i don't need to give everything of me to everyone and be judged every single second and be posted on blogs so she finished her storyline in season five when she was forced to attend Spidey's wedding. And she was wearing like a little mini cocktail dress and a massive Chanel bag. Yes. Like not appropriate wedding attire. With that like kind, I remember her hair too was like a way.

1:00:39Yeah, it was like the retro side part waves. Yes.

1:00:42Christy Noel:And of course, she was later replaced by Kristen Cavallari until the series officially ended in July of 2010. And then don't forget when the series officially ended, they had the backdrop kind of fall, implying that the whole show was basically scripted. Have you seen the alternate ending of The Hills? What is it again? Remind me. I know I have, but I can't remember. Brody walks into his condo and Lauren's sitting on the couch. And she's like, how was it? Because he was saying goodbye to Kristen, I think, right? Yeah. So they wanted to have this alternate storyline where her and Brody were together.

1:01:18Christy Noel:But she filmed it. They didn't end up picking it up because they felt that the backdrop ending was far more inspired and impactful for the audience, which it definitely was. A couple months after The Hills ended, Elsie was supposed to have her own series that focused on her career, but MTV ultimately decided to not pick it up because Elsie refused to have any part of her private life aired. And they're like, well, then why are we having a show? We want it to be interesting. Folks want to see your private life. Not all, like, you know, we don't want only work. That's just, that's not going to be successful.

1:01:48Christy Noel:Right. And in 2016, MTV Films, a special retrospect for The Hills' 10th anniversary. The Hills, that was then, this is now, which aired in August 2016. It'll be two decades in just five months here, Sophie. That's crazy. For The Hills' 20th anniversary. Like, what? That scares me. It really scares me. June 2019, The Hills New Beginnings reboot premieres without Lauren. She declines to participate. Kristen did a brief cameo on, I think, season two. again me and my roommate watched it shout out to go as our her and i were obsessed with season one like this show is great um yeah we loved it and then in 2022 lauren conrad after being so m.i.a from the public appeared on back to the beach the dear media podcast with steven and kristen and people were shocked because she had been out of the limelight for so long at that point let's talk about her business ventures and her career timeline ever since you know she left the hills or around 2008 and beyond i've noticed that her ventures aren't very consistent since she left the show other than really her cole's clothing line so in 2008 she designs her first clothing line i think this is when i saw her at the iran spectrum doing the fashion show called the lauren conrad collection it premiered at la fashion week and the line ended up seeing underwhelming sales figures so she ended the line just a year later after um go live to familiarize herself more with the industry.

1:03:18Christy Noel:In June of 2009, she published her first novel, L.A. Candy, a coming-of-age story loosely inspired by her own life moving to L.A. and reality TV fame. Did you ever read that series, by the way? No, did you? I didn't, but I remember it being a huge hit. I also will say about Lauren Conrad's fashion is that, and she's obviously made it big in her respective arena wheelhouse, But she's not like a fashion fashion girl. Like, she's not like a, like, oh my God, front row at New York Fashion Week. Like, she puts together these really cool, like, unexpected, chic, trendsettery outfits. Her outfits are very, like, basic.

1:03:58Her style is very basic. And she, like, knows that. And I think she owns it.

1:04:02Christy Noel:Right. I feel like back then, I feel like now with the influencer age, style is so much more... I don't even want to say I feel like back then style was so trendy like with Lauren it was like when she had whatever she had that was the trend like I'm thinking of like the skinny jeans and like the loose fitting top and the headband trend like everyone was kind of looking the same and I feel like now it's so much more unique I don't I feel like it's still I feel like it's still really like people dress the same even honestly even more now in my opinion like everyone all of the influencer girlies are wearing the same sweat sets.

1:04:44Christy Noel:Yeah. They're wearing the same shit. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it was, yeah. I think that Lauren, I think that her style was very just basic. And still isn't. She owned that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very basic. And similar to a lot of like, look at, I don't know, like acquired style. Like a lot of influencers these days are the same way, you know? Right. And I think that the reason people think of Lauren Conrad in style is because like every time you look at, you know that trend on TikTok right now when it's like my outfits from 2010 to 2014. Yeah. Against that G-Eazy soundtrack.

1:05:20Christy Noel:Yeah. I feel like if you see a Lauren Conrad style, like it's so noticeable because it's so of that time in 2009, 2010. Yeah. She collaborated with Kohl's in the fall of 2009 to launch L.C. Lauren Conrad, her second fashion line, featuring affordable California chic apparel, which obviously is still around today. If you step into any Kohl's store, it's like right up front. In early 2010, she releases two sequel novels called Sweet Little Lies and Sugar and Spice, completing the LA Candy Trilogy. And they all became bestsellers. Like, I remember the book Endeavor being very profitable and great for her.

1:05:55Christy Noel:Remember when Kylie and Kendall had that fictionalized book science fiction series? Yes. It was like, what was it called? Indra. Oh, my God. Hold on. I just remember it wasn't it kind of like, it was just very science fiction-y and it was very clear like they had nothing to do with it. They didn't. Yeah. Wait, let me, this is going to bother me. City of Indra, thank you. City of Indra, the story of Lex and Livia. That's so dumb. So dumb. In fall of 2010, Lauren Conrad publishes Lauren Conrad Style, a personal fashion guide that shares her tips on beauty and wardrobe, which quickly lands on the bestseller list.

1:06:33Christy Noel:So she is like a – she's a bestselling author, like, honey. She is everywhere at this time. She launches LaurenConrad.com, which is a personal lifestyle blog and website. Again, this is when blogs are like heavy hitters. She also unveiled Paper Crown, her third fashion line, which is a privately owned upscale clothing collection aimed at a boutique market. And it was designed by Elsie, inspired by her personal style, which is romantic, modern classic pieces. She released even more books. The Fame Game, which was the first novel in a new trilogy that spinned off from L.A. Candy. And I think most notably, that went on for quite a while, for almost a decade, Lauren and her friend Hannah Scavlara co-founded a nonprofit organization called The Little Market, which was a fair trade online marketplace showcasing handmade goods by female artisans from around the world.

1:07:25Christy Noel:And the mission was to empower women in certain communities by selling their crafts, like home decor, accessories, candles, etc., to a global customer base. But they recently shuttered their mainstream operations in 2022. that's i remember the little market so well and i thought it was such a good idea it's sad that they didn't survive yeah i remember i bought something kind of recently when they were shuttering operations and like everything was on sale so i was like i'll just buy something it ended up being so bad like so cheaply made i think like it was like this um this like woven bag and like the thing just like fell off oh god that's probably why that's probably why it didn't survive yeah but i remember in like graduating college and all my friends were like oh for my friends like for graduation because i'm gonna get her like a little market like it was it was the moment it was a it was very cool back then um in april 2019 i remember that she launched a podcast titled asking for a friend and she would sit down with experts and friends to chat about topics ranging from careers style parenting well-being it was well received but it lasted only a single season she might not have had the time because she at that point she had two young kids she was still operating like lc lauren conrad at kohl's i mean starting a podcast is a big deal and i think a lot of people you know what we should do a whole episode maybe on patreon of like failed podcasts you know whose podcast i felt had a lot of momentum at the beginning but they just stopped doing recently was um stossi's stossi babies she had a podcast that had really good marketing on dear media she wait she stopped doing it yeah she had like six episodes oh my god that's so funny I remember it got a lot of press because she admitted to getting a BBL and was trying to reduce her BBL.

1:09:03That's so funny that it only had six episodes. People don't realize how much work and work goes into this shit.

1:09:09Christy Noel:Yeah, they literally think, I'll just jump on a mic and record for an hour. It's like, oh, my God, it's so much more than that. So this doesn't surprise me. It's so funny that Elsie had a podcast because to me, I don't even remember what she sounds like. She's so mysterious now. She's posted on Instagram twice in the past year. You know? her annual photo dumps are such a treat she literally has an annual photo dump um yeah she's literally posted twice in the past year i was right yeah on her instagram right now she posts on instagram like once or twice a year like she's not like a content creator she's not pumping out you know i feel like i feel like whitney port and whitney like is constantly posting and connecting with her fans doing amas like she's constantly out at influencer events at parties and doing pot she has a podcast i believe um with dear media as well yeah yeah and lauren i'm just like what even like i don't know anything about her anymore and i think she likes it that way she's like very private it's a power move like i love that she was so exposed at such a young age it's almost like mary kate and ashley i think i think of when you were well it's kind of a little different because that was against their volition with the twins but i feel like they were so exposed at such a young age for such a long time lauren conrad was exposed at such a young age for such a long time that they were like we're taking back our power and we don't want to be at all told what to do or we want to be very mysterious because it's not a choice now it's it's great so in august of 2020 lauren conrad debuts lauren conrad beauty a line of eco-friendly cruelty-free makeup and skincare products but by late 2020 so just a couple months after they um launched the brand it struggled to continue to scale and by the end of 2021 so it was only like here for a year and a half she quietly discontinues the line and like i said up top she really should have done this in like 2014 when the hills was at its heyday because people were obsessed with her style and her fashion and her makeup i feel like she could have been like a like a kylie cosmetics at that point in her career if she launched this a decade before she was a little late to the game it's kind of like random yeah um and with so many beauty brands in the market being so saturated it's like please not now, Lauren.

1:11:21Christy Noel:It's too much. Just two years later, she launches Loved by Lauren Conrad, her first signature scent. And based on my search, this doesn't exist anymore either. The last time they posted to the Instagram was in 2022. And you can still find the scent like on Amazon. Oh, it's only$39 on Amazon. Should we try it? Are they on microperfumes.com slash snark? No, I don't think so. That would be so cool. Because I would have gotten it if it was. Oh, me too. 100%. In January of 2023, after 12 years, she announces that she's shuttering the editorial portion of laurenconrad.com. She says that she wants to use her time towards designing because that's always been her first love.

1:12:08Christy Noel:And based on my follow of her Instagram, like her personal IG and her minimal stories that she posts, she primarily focuses on Little Co, which is her baby clothes brand. So she's kind of niched her way down to she's launched so many things over the last five years and they've all kind of just fell. I didn't even realize like how much she has launched and then shuttered. Yeah, I know. Wow. It's kind of shocking because I do find her to be a pretty keen businesswoman. I mean, And she's been able to sustain Elsie by Lauren Conrad at Kohl's for so long now. But the fact that she was releasing a makeup line in 2020, that to me is where I was kind of like, what were you thinking when you did that?

1:12:53Christy Noel:That was a very odd business move. But honestly, that's kind of it. She's very private. You know, she's with William Tell, as we said, up top. They moved in together in 2013, and they got engaged that year. You know, we kind of know of her romances before then. You know, Stephen Coletti, Jason. brody jenner which was kind of more of a showman and then she dated actor kyle howard for a very long time i remember this yes this was like her first boyfriend post hills that she was very very private about because prior to that all of her relationships were showcased on the show and interestingly enough kyle howard was almost kind of embarrassed because she was a reality star and he was trying to be like a serious actor and even though she was far more famous than he was but he You saw the relationship as incredibly distracting from his goal of becoming the next Robert De Niro.

1:13:44The next Robert De Niro.

1:13:46Christy Noel:He was not very supportive of her career, but. Oh, my God, that's so funny. He was spotted also making out with Chase Crawford in October of 2011. I believe they presented an award together at, like, the Teen Choice Awards. And this is also kind of my Roman Empire and a little bit of, like, very niche. Do you remember when? Did you ever watch Desperate Housewives? Yes, way back in the day, though. Yeah. I've watched it forever. Me either. I watched it well afterward air. I think in like 2013, 2014, I binge the entire series. I love it. It's so good. So funny. But Brie Vandekamp's youngest son, I forgot his name on the show, but his real name is Sean Pye from, he's actually come out recently about struggling with drugs and alcohol really severely.

1:14:33Christy Noel:And I also don't know, I think he's a bit fluid in his sexuality. In any case, there's like these fun photos of him and Lauren Conrad at Coachella, like her on his lap. And I'm like, they would have been kind of a cute couple. Remember the photo shoot she did with Taylor Swift? And Hilary Duff? And Hilary Duff. Like, there was a time when Lauren Conrad was on the same level as Taylor Swift. I can't even. Isn't that crazy? My mind can't compute that. I know. It is wild, if not more famous than Taylor Swift at that time. Yeah, honestly. For sure. Taylor at that point was a bit more niche. She was in the country.

1:15:09Christy Noel:Yeah. Wow. So now she is married to William Tell, and they have two children, Liam, who was born in 2017, and then Charlie, born in 2019. And they live in Laguna Beach. Every time I'm there, I'm like, I wonder if I'm going to see Elsie. But no such luck, unfortunately. Oh, my God. It's so crazy how, like, old her kids are now. I know. I feel like when I picture them, I'm like, oh, yeah, she was like little toddlers. Like, no, they're eight and six. Eight is a wild age. Like, what do you mean? Yeah, that's crazy. Lauren Conrad has an eight-year-old. So that's that on LC. Lauren Conrad, what are your closing thoughts?

1:15:53I mean, she's pretty, we knew that, like, she's not the most scandalous person. Like, she doesn't have a whole lot of scandals. but she has you know this prolific career that spanned two decades and I think it's really interesting to you know look back on all this I know this this episode was fun yeah to help write

1:16:15Christy Noel:and and to do because I think something about people like Lauren Conrad for me personally and Hilary Duff is they bring up such nice memories of being younger and like have being carefree and not having a lot to worry about or adulting and all that stuff and something about her and and yeah hillary duff and lindsey lohan it just like it brings you know that that song song on tiktok it's like i don't think so no yes you do and it'll say 1998 and um at the mall in ohio and it'll be like a camcorder footage and they'll play that sentimental nostalgic ass music in the background. I know what, I know the sentimental music, but it doesn't sound like that.

1:17:01How does it sound again? I'm thinking of different nostalgia music. It has like the children laughing in the background. Yeah. Wait, one last thing that I want to say really fast about Lauren, and I feel like we've briefly touched on this, is that it seems like she falls out with all of her friends, or at least the ones we've seen her have on TV on the hills. And I think that that's an interesting thing about her. And I think, you know, that goes back to her being kind of like this controlling friend, maybe. Like, obviously, Heidi, very understandable. Lo, her and Lo are not friends anymore. Her and Audrina, not friends anymore.

1:17:37It's just, it's interesting to me. I don't know. I think there's some lore there when it comes to Lo and her friendship fallouts.

1:17:46Christy Noel:The Lo thing is curious to me, and they've both never publicly said why. Lo has been living in New York City. She moved from LA to New York very early after, like right after the show, basically wrapped. I think they both publicly said, oh, you know, we live far away. Lauren's had kids, but I do think something nefarious happened, but they've never admitted what exactly. There's been a lot of speculation on it, but they support each other on Instagram. Also, another thing to call out is Lo's not going to be on that Roku 2026 revival because she was very pregnant or just had her kid. So she couldn't make it.

1:18:21Christy Noel:So I guess any interaction we were hoping to see between the two, we won't get, unfortunately. But it seems like Lauren's still close with all the guys. I thought Lo videoed in. Did she not? She might have. I think she did. They had a reunion in 2020 to encourage young people to vote. And it was a Zoom reunion because that's when we were doing Zoom things. They did reunite then, but it felt a little bit tenuous. Maybe that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah. But Lo may dial in for this episode, but I know she was not there for filming when they were all in Laguna. Yeah, that makes sense. I'm also looking at Lauren's wedding photos right now.

1:19:09It's crazy that it was 11 years ago.

1:19:11Christy Noel:And Lowe was a bridesmaid there, so they were really good then. Yeah, but not, you know, she wasn't present. Lauren was not present at Lowe's wedding that recently happened. Yes, correct. Crazy. It's so funny how Lauren has never strayed from the cat eye. The eyeliner. Never strayed. Even at her wedding. Yeah. Her wedding pictures were beautiful. Yeah, she looks beautiful, obviously. It looks very 2014, but like any wedding is going to look... 2000. Any wedding is going to look like the year it was. The time. Right. No matter what. Her brother, Brandon, got married over the last year and people on the Hill subreddit were shocked because Lauren was, you know, it's weird to see Lauren out in the wild because she never posts really.

1:19:56Christy Noel:And she was obviously a bridesmaid in her brother's wedding. And everyone was like, oh my God, Lauren's spotting. It's like a Bigfoot spotting. Yeah. Yeah. But that's that on And Lauren Conrad, let us know, you guys, what your thoughts are on her. Why do you think she has so many falling outs with her friends? Is she just a controlling biatch? Or what's the deal with her? I'm trying to think of anything else. I think that's kind of it. Yeah, but like in general, pretty unproblematic and boring, honestly. Yeah. But, you know, just a staple of our childhoods as millennials, you know? Yeah. love her um yeah that's not on that you guys know where to find us we're at snarkbait pod on instagram we do patreon episodes every week so head on over there yesterday we covered i want to marry harry tv show sophie walks us through one of the most unhinged tv shows to ever grace our screens yeah so if you guys want more on that and you want some good laughs go over to patreon.com slash NorthBatePod.

1:21:03Christy Noel:I'm at KristiNoel underscore underscore. Sophie is at Soap underscore Ross. Thank you to Jordan, Rachel, Olivia, Kartik. And we'll see you guys next week for another episode of Dark Energy Tuesday. Thanks for listening, guys. Bye. Bye.

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1:26:19Christy Noel:And the quality is genuinely so good. Fablatics pieces feel like ultra luxe activewear you'd expect from some of those higher end brands, you know the ones, but without the hefty price tag. These pieces are built to actually last. And I love that for me. My genuine absolute favorite piece I've gotten is the Anywhere cropped bra tank. It's a perfect workout top that I can throw on for a workout just to record, run errands, go out to lunch. And genuinely, my boobs look really good. They're like, They suck in and perk up just the way I like it. And I just genuinely love how easy it is to get dressed with Fabletics and how put together I look without having to actually think about it.

1:26:54Christy Noel:Shop now at fabletics.com slash snark to get 70 % to 80 % off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Take a really quick style quiz and be sure to select snark when prompted to unlock this offer. This is a limited time offer, so don't wait. Again, that's fabletics.com slash snark for 70 % to 80 % off everything as a new VIP.

1:27:15Christy Noel:Turn it up. Storm has zero sugar and 200 milligrams of caffeine. So you can turn that workout up a notch. Good energy in, good energy out. Energy for life.