Brittany Broski Returns

22:40No, no. Let me ask you. Do you remember that night? I remember that night. And do you remember what you said to me at that dinner? I bet you don't. I bet you don't. It's actually funny. I bet you don't because of the way that you're trying to corner me right now. Antoinette, you said to me, God. Just say it. Just say it. I will. You said to me, God, Caleb, I wish more than anything in this world that I had a gay best friend who's mask and thin. Did you not say that to me? Did you not say that to me? Context is important, but yes, I did say that at the Red Lobster. You said that to me. And so even though I find gay people fucking disgusting, and I think they're all going to burn in hell.

23:16Yeah. Because of my upbringing. Uh-huh. I went on Grindr.com on my iPad. Oh, you did that for me. Yes. You did that for me. I'm messaging these fucking freaks. Yeah. Asking them, are you masked? Are you thin? She doesn't want a femme fat one. I've been saying, my wife needs a gay best friend on there. And stutter again? And then I go to Phuket for a work trip to pay for your fucking nails. Funny. You told me it was Bangkok. You said Bangkok. Sure. Sure. You know what I find funny? So what do you have to say to that? You know what I find funny? Oh, tell me. I can't wait to see what you find funny.

23:56You know what I find funny is on this app, Grindr, your profile uses my photos. you meeting up with these gentlemen that 100 % tracks with my version of the story I'm trying to find you a gay best friend can I ask you a question ask me were you physical did I sleep with some of the guys of course I did are you fucking insane what do you think I'm a fucking idiot these tight young men come to me trying to be friends with my wife I'm going to fuck them and make sure they're actually gay market research. So they don't steal my wife. I swear sometimes you're so fucking dense. Yes, I fuck these guys to make sure they were gay so they don't steal my wife.

24:46Dumbass.

24:50Okay, cut. Obviously. Sorry, cut. I just feel like, did I take it too far? I just feel like you leaned into the verbal a bit. Like, it felt very real. It felt very marriage story for a second. but then we really brought it back and I think I have a resolution to this okay ready let's go back into the scene of course I fuck these guys so I know that they're gay so they don't fuck my wife I have something to tell you because I feel honestly like hearing you say that it's making sense like and I honestly feel like really bad and I just feel like I have something to tell you I made I also made a Grindr account okay and I went to log in on my iPad on my Galaxy Note 7 and we used the same fucking email and I just knew in that moment I've been thinking about a divorce, I've been thinking about this guy's fucking gay I'm not physically attracted to him I don't know if we were ever in love but when I saw you use the same fucking login I'm not gay I literally knew that that's my man because if you made the Grindr account with the same email getting caught in the rain if you're not into yoga if you have half a brain if you like make your love at midnight scene okay was that electric for you?

26:18there's something here yes and I'm not kidding because I know it feels like it was silly but like that wasn't silly to me I actually felt very connected and dropped into the scene and I loved being in that with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We should write something. We should make a movie. We should write a stage show. Caleb, we should make a baby. I mean, that would legitimately be magic. Very attractive child. Yeah, I mean, that's a gorgeous little kid and that's a brilliant little kid. I'm hoping that if we were to have a baby together, I hope that it might exhibit some of these qualities. All right, so what is this clipboard, I am wondering?

26:58so we found your linkedin account um so and um the bio i just hope that if we were to have a kid that maybe the kid would have some of these qualities britney gigam intelligent creative ambitious an exceptional leader are any of those things false an optimistic team member who earns trust easily.

27:26This was also before ChatGPT came up with that all on my loan. Builds positive relationships and is able to work well in a group setting. What I like about that is it doesn't say she will. Yeah. She's able. If necessary. If necessary. Can in an emergency. Sure. A skilled communicator who delivers messages and ideas effectively as well as an expert listener has not been my experience. The first falsity. And problem solver. Tell me a little bit about this. You know, my passion for people started very young. Yeah. Ever since I was just a little tyke. And is tyke a slur for a child? No. Should be.

28:03It's close to a slur for a different group of people, but it's a letter off. I think we should bring back tykes for kids. Okay. Anyway. Yeah, I'm in. You got me. I'm in. I appreciate your support. Let's do it. Yeah, I kind of came up with that all on all on me lonesome. Yeah. Because I needed to communicate, I'm the personality hire, right? Nothing about that says, actually, I'm ready to work and I'm excited to work and I want to be here. No. In fact, I don't. Like, the opposite is true. Fuck all of you guys and fuck any job that would require me to work in a team setting. Yeah. I'm not doing that.

28:39Fuck a job. Fuck a job. If you're listening to this right now and you have a job, quit. Quit. Unless you work for me. Quit your job. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Quit your job. Or if you work for anything that I enjoy or like, you know, any movies or TV shows that I enjoy, don't quit. Like, keep your job. Most of my listeners quit your job. Adele, let's restart your job. Adele. Rihanna, get back to the original job. Yes, listen to me very closely, Rihanna. Rihanna. Studio. Now. Frank Ocean, join her. Join her. Frank Ocean, can I talk to you guys outside? Adele, quickly behind them. Adele, get back to that studio, girl.

29:11Adele's being a mom. Yeah, she needs to mother the microphone in the studio. let's raise the volume in the headphones so she can lay down that track I've had it Adele get to the studio bitch what is it 34 where are we at 37 36 I don't know where you're at girl doesn't matter girl lock in I feel like can I say another thing before you go Sam Smith Sam Smith get back to the basics we need the James Bond 8 soundtrack yesterday I don't care what's happening in the body shop get on that piano and talk to me about unrequited love. Yeah. Mommy don't know. Mommy don't know. And mommy don't want to know.

29:50Sam, get in the studio and make some sad piano songs about being unlovable. Now. Now. Now. I yearn for the era where there were a lot of big fat singers. Yes. Singing about Ain't Nobody Want Me. Big bodied. Big bodied and able bodied singers. Big and able singers singing about. Can I lay by Yes, you can. Keep going. Your side What? Next to you We could do a live show. And we will. And Sam Smith, I want to say to you. Furthermore. Sam get in the studio and make me some sad songs on the piano and it's January when this episode comes out I want to see them in my inbox by February. Okay. That's enough time.

30:37Sam Smith, I have a different request. What are you doing? I want you to be happy I want you to live in your truth I want you to Don't listen to the opinions of gay comedians They are not on your side I'm on your side Sam Smith, we've been told I don't know if you get this as well We look alike What are you doing? Just give me a second I feel fiercely defensive of you Because you see how he talks about you Imagine how he talks about me behind closed doors I feel like if you were to put up a side-by-side of me and Sam Smith, twins.

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32:22Make your move. Order on the Sweetgreen app. Are you craving anything right now? Right now? In life. Are you craving anything? Are you hungry for anything? You know, can I... I can just be honest? You can, really. I think Popeye's is back in a big way. And I know you weren't talking about food. You weren't talking about food. I was or I wasn't, but you're right, and I know that it's back. Popeye's had a second where they fell off for a minute. Popeye's is back. The spicy chicken sandwich is so delicious, and I was going to beg you to take me there later. That's separate from what am I craving in life?

32:52I'm not taking you to Popeye's in New York City, by the way. So why not? I'm not doing that. This reminds me of when you stayed at my house last and you ordered Cinnabon to the house. That really upset me, Brittany. Kayla, are you serious right now? I'm not taking you to Popeye's. Are you actually fucking for real? I'm not doing it. If you lived here, it'd be one thing, but you're visiting, I'm not taking you to Popeye's. You should understand more than most the appeal and charm of a chain restaurant. I do. And did I order that Cinnabon to his house? And was it cold and dry and bad? And was it$35?

33:22Yes, it was. Yes, it was. You will not let me forget it. And when I do it again, yeah. Yes. Cinnabon's really fucking good. I've ordered a triple dipper to my house before. See, you're getting it. I feel like a chain restaurant. Say it. You know what to expect every time you go in there. There's a comfort. It's like a warm hug from a friend you haven't seen in a long time. Yes. Shared with company that gets it. Yes. I know you get a chain restaurant. You're from the Midwest, right? Yes. I'm from suburban South. Yes. I love it and I will go to it every single time. I'm a bit iffy. I'm a bit iffy on these New York, LA places.

33:54What the fuck is that? Yeah. Okay. And if you have less than a 4.5 on DoorDash, I'm not ordering. Thank you for saying that. I will tell you, there was one of the roughest periods of my life was a couple years ago when I started getting invited to nice restaurants and I had to, in front of people I respect, I had to, in front of people I respect, learn about different types of food. I very vividly remember sitting in a restaurant in LA with producers that I was trying to make something with and they're like, do you want the crudo? And I was like, what's up?

34:25The, you said crudo? Yeah, which is raw fish. Which is raw fish. and I said, oh, I'm not eating crudo right now. And I'm not kidding you, they went, what? And I went, oh, I'm just not having crudo right now. I'm kind of off that stuff. I'm off crudo. Not knowing what it was at all. I don't mess around with that shit. And I love crudo, by the way. And I just didn't know because I was a fool. I have a harrowing memory from when I was a child. I went to a restaurant with my whole family. It was like a nice restaurant. Papados? Chili's. Yeah. And we're sitting there and everyone's around. It's like sirloins and all this, which I don't know jack shit.

35:06I'm 11, right? I don't know what a tender cut of meat is compared to like a filet mignon, T-bone. I don't fucking know. So I go, I'm going to order off this menu. I go, I'll have the a la carte. Please. By the way, the a la carte menu, a list of which I came to find out in my adulthood, individual items you can order. I said, I'll have all of it. Yeah, just the a la carte. Thank you. Yeah. My dad laughed so hard, I think he peed on himself. And I was like, obviously, I'm never forgetting this. Yeah. Right? Obviously, that's impacted me in a huge way. Clearly, this is foundational. It's very transformative for me.

35:38Do you know, I had a similar thing once where all of my aunt and my uncle were in college at the time, and my dad worked at a college. And so they were all at Thanksgiving talking about fonts. Okay. They were like fonts for writing papers and stuff. Really intriguing conversation. They're like, I write mine in Calibri because it makes the pages go quicker. and so I was like, oh, I do Times New Roman because it's more accepted in this field of work or whatever. They were talking about fonts and the only font I knew from computer class that I remembered was Comic Sans. And so I was kind of listening.

36:06I was waiting for my moment and then a moment of silence came up and I went, I like Comic Sans. I'm sure you do. I was like, I like Comic Sans. Like serious. I was like, that's my font of choice, you know? And they all laughed so hard. And I'm dead. I went, why are you laughing? These like, I'm imagining them as these like stuffy British professor aunts and uncles. Like, hey, you're like, it's Comic Sans. No, they were just like, that's the only font you know. And I was like, why are you laughing? And they're like, they felt bad immediately. They're like, no, that's a really good choice. We just haven't used it in a while.

36:39And I was like, okay. Comic Sans, what's next Papyrus like? They laugh like that. God, I wish I had a laugh like that. Like one that's kind of buried. get older and richer and you might develop an obnoxious laugh. I hope to do both trust me you do have an obnoxious laugh now. I'm just saying it could get worse no I know people hate my laugh I don't hate your laugh. No people hate my laugh I'm fucking useless no I hope you feel good that you got that joke off I guess I'm stupid and fat and worthless I guess I'm fat and fucking ugly and stupid and gay yeah and bald. So oh that's awesome I was hanging out with my friend and I learned I'm stupid fat ugly gay worthless broke not funny.

37:18Oh and nobody will ever love me. Oh okay Siri, play Sam Smith. That's awesome sauce. Yeah. That's epic. Can I say it? Bye. You say. Should, oh. Siri's doing it. Should we do a song show where we only cover old Sam Smith? Yeah, probably. Oh, she's actually playing Sam Smith. I'm not the only one. Baby, don't play Sam Smith, and I'm not the only one. Yeah, you say. I would like to do a cover show with you just in general. I think we should. What's going on with music? Where are you at with music? What's going on with music? Writing the album. Yeah. Some red tape is happening behind the scenes. Yeah.

38:02That is preventing me from doing my damn thing. Yeah. And it's also this weird transition of going from this traditional, like, how I was instructed music. Music, how I was told music is made versus how I actually want to make it. You know, like being in a room with five different writers and two producers and it's mastered by someone else who's never heard the song before. And it's just like, whoa, we're taking a completely different approach now where I wrote it all. I wrote every single lyric that's on the album. I have one or two other writers on the song with me who only helps with the melody and then one producer for the whole thing.

38:39And it is so much better. and it's epic and it's dramatic and it's cinematic and it's whimsical and it's all of the things that I wish the first couple releases were. But you have to start somewhere with a creative endeavor, you know, so that you can continue to improve and build on it. I think it's raw, narcissistic confidence if a creative release is something and they say, that's my best work ever. And then you never try to improve upon it. So that's where the music is at. I love that. for your next album. I'd like to get me, you, Sam Smith, a couple of, yes, Sam Smith, and then a couple of indie rockers in a studio in North Carolina.

39:17Sure. And I'd like us to fuck around. I mean, Adele, it's a thing where it's like every two years we need. And of course, you know, you do think, oh, I want artists to be happy. I want them to live their lives to an extent. Sure. To an extent. Put out the work. As long as you're living in the studio. Yeah. Live in the studio one month every two years. Yeah. Just put that record out. Top divas for you. Would you say Adele is one of the top divas for you? Adele is one of my top divas. Lauren Hill is one of my top divas. Naturally, yeah. Lauren Hill is an all-time diva. Yes. For me, because she put out one absolutely unimpeachable, impeccable piece of work, and then said, I'm kind of chill on all this.

39:55Yeah, she actually is the one exception. Yeah. Yeah. She's the one. I would never ask her to get back in the studio. She did what she needed to do. She did what she needed to do, and then she gave us the MTV Unplugged recording, and I'm, of course, quite grateful for that. and lauren hill is just in a rarefied air where i say if you give us miseducation and then you decide you're done i hear you i'll accept that other artists and pretty much every other artist i'm going to be asking for more yeah i'm hungry i feel a similar way about beyonce she has given us a lifetime multiple lifetimes worth of life-changing art i have not heard her stuff.

40:35She can say, I'll put you onto her. Could you imagine if I've never heard a Beyonce song? Who is that? I go, you said Beyonce? Who is that? Hmm. I'll look into it. Beyonce. Beyonce. Beyonce, I am so sorry that an ugly ass bitch would even say some shit like that. I know. Beyonce, you look like Luther Vandross. Beyonce? Beyonce? Bitch, you look like Luther Vandross. One of the all time reads of my lifetime. New York, you will always be famous. New York, you will always be famous. The video of her smoking the cigarette in bed. Just laughing and smiling. Yes. New York, you will always be famous. She invented, and it is funny, like, we're in a moment in culture now where people are fans of reality TV stars, which I find quite funny because ultimately the impetus of that every time is like, I love how you were such a bitch at dinner.

41:20It's like, okay. 100%. That's crazy to be a fan of. You're a cunt. Yeah. And New York originated it. 100%. She's so fucking funny. I was doing an interview the other day and they were like, what's one of your favorite pop culture, whatever of all time? Only thing in my head is Oh, she passed away.

41:38Wendy Williams is another one. Wendy. I'm going to cry. She has given us a girl. I'm going to cry. Right. Hold my hand. Wendy Williams. Let's say a prayer. Wendy Williams. We love you. We are so grateful for you. We wish you well. And.

42:01Amen. Amen. Amen. Wendy Williams has done it, girl. Wendy Williams has delivered so many pop culture moments. I also think of when she sneezed and farted and burped at the same time. Of course. I think of when she goes, what was that? James? James? And it comes back and it's an audience member in like a zombie mask. I'm laughing. Yeah. You know who's jealous of Adele? Beyonce. Beyonce. She's one of my like, wow, that was allowed on TV. Well, Wendy Williams is what we're missing a little bit in the culture right now. the same thing that Joan Rivers had. I was just about to say, we need a bitchy commentator.

42:37Somebody who just fucking tries it. Who just says like, we'll see. I'm going to say this and we'll see. Yeah. I like that. I think the internet is too deeply misogynistic to ever let that happen again. I think the internet is just misogynistic enough for it to happen again. Who's going to carry the torch? Who's to say? I like what you had to say about airport lounges. Say it. You said, we need to like, we need to make the criteria for letting people into the airport lounge is a bit higher. A bit more restrictive. The line outside of the Delta Sky Club. Line. Let's start there. Line. Line. Line, because they're at full capacity.

43:14Let's start there. There's a line. There's a line outside to get into the club. So I am paying for, through literal money and also my loyalty and points, I am paying for access to a space, and there's a line. Does that sound like a nice experience to you? Hey. Hi, Delta. it's me. Hi, bitch. I'm going to try on a new personality. Hi, bitch. There's a line. Huh? That's my new guy. Yeah, you like that. Huh? Hi, bitch. Huh? Oh. I think my show would grow tenfold if I started acting like that. I think if you wanted to do a real girl. And there's celery in the chicken salad. Hi, bitch. Throw it out.

43:58Huh? Do you ever dream about having a desk job? I had one. Again. For a long time. No, fuck no. Yeah, sure. I'll tell you what I do miss. And this is going to come off unlikable and tone deaf. Thank you for clarifying. This is going to make me seem unlikable and tone deaf. I miss waiting tables. Now, do I miss it enough to go and do it? Right. No, but I miss it. I miss when my body was, I felt, I liked when my body was tired at the end of a day of work. I miss meeting new people. I miss knowing that if I fucking nailed it with every table, I would get more money at the end of the day. I miss leaving my job with that money.

44:38And I miss the camaraderie of like every – I probably misguidedly still feel this. Every time I walk into a place, I feel connected to service workers because I did it. And that is not likable. I do feel that. And it's stupid of me because I'm so not anymore. But I miss when I did work in a restaurant. It was true. I totally get that though. Do you know? Because you have the personality. You know what? I said this on the podcast the other day. I am sexually attracted to whoever the fuck plays the Grinch at Universal Studios. Okay. You know, the like probably early 40s witty guy, probably bald, who sits in the makeup chair, gets dressed as the Grinch, and just is mean to people.

45:17Yeah. There's a video that I love, and we can get back to whatever the fuck you were saying. There's a video that I love of there's a line of people in line to meet the Grinch at Universal Studios. A line. A line. and he goes, Grinch, over here! And he just goes, coughs on him. That's funny to me. That is funny. He is so mean to these fucking people. I see shit like that, and I'm like, in another life, that was me. In another life, that's the job I would want to have. So that's the job you do have right now. That's pretty much what you do. You go on your show, and you force very notable people to come and dress up in medieval garb with you.

45:56you are coughing on them in a way

46:02spiritual cough yeah you actually do have a point oh I'm living my dream I loved being on your show by the way you just made mean to me I do I thought it was beautiful that I finally came to a point where you just kind of had to have me on even though it made no sense it's funny that the roster of your show is all like dream guests that are very accomplished and then there's like some guy you know like that is ultimately very funny no but you know that's our most viewed episode ever I do but I just think it's funny that like it came to a point where it was like we kind of have to it's like I guess we'll have on Coleman Domingo one of the most decorated talented actors of our time and then yeah I guess my buddy Caleb like I think that's very funny my cousin, Cuzzo, I'll have Cuzzo on I'll have Cuzzo on, yeah hey Cuz yeah, no you were one of clearly the most requested ever and I was like I'll look into this guy really most familiar we'll see, if he gets his numbers up Well, let's see some engagement.

46:56Let's get his followers up. Maybe he posts on Instagram more than once a month. Maybe he starts doing that. Yeah, I think I'd just do anything of note. Anything at all? No. I think that would be helpful. Anything impressive. I think that would be completely helpful. Yes. Do you know, Brittany, I'm single again. Look out, world. You've been there with me every step of the way. I have. I was in a beautiful relationship that ended. And now I'm single again. what do you think i need to be focusing on right now i think you need to be focusing on um being validated by men i think you need to put all of your self-worth into whether or not a man likes you i can do that i think you need to worry about how you look i can do that i think you need to worry about your intelligence and if you're good at your job i can do that okay those few things if you just really put that like on your plate everything else off okay movie yeah interview podcast i don't want to see it worry about what a man thinks about you that's what you should i think take into the new year my only value is what men think of me yeah my only concern is what men think of me yes my every waking moment is consumed by what men think of me you think you can do that i worry about what men think of me uh-huh that's what you'd like to see yeah i can do that hey done i can do that i was 18 once and i can and i can go there again mentally and did and will and did and will and wouldn't have and should and you want to know what another one of my so trues was say it now stop thinking about men whoa i won't well and you think i will either no but that's something where it's like if someone says that a group setting it's like so true queen yeah right like obviously i agree but in practice i'm thinking about men i'm thinking about men but not in a way and i will all credit to the most high drew off wallow yes she really changed my whole mental perspective on my relationship to and with male validation and i got to a point very genuinely after my last horrific situationship where i was like i'll kill that guy by the way no and he deserves death yeah he deserves i will never forget you telling me some of the details of this and me sitting there mouth agape yeah like this is a person i have to harm yeah am i shrek to you what am i to you what am i to you other than all i can come to the conclusion of an ogre do you want to fuck me or do you want to live in my swamp yeah and turns out neither neither yeah i don't know what's going on and and the thing is is even if you want to live in my swamp, be a donkey at least.

49:35Help out around the house. I asked him one time, I was cleaning the house. He was watching Love Island. Gay. You're gay. First of all, gay guy. Gay guy in my house, no thanks. Sorry. I am, as a woman, by the way, I as a woman am cleaning the house and you, a straight man, are watching Love Island on the couch? Open up the iPad and fire up Grindr. I'm telling you right now. You're gay. You're gay. You're gay. You're girly pop. You're gay. you're gay and so by the way this was summertime pride happy pride happy pride it's june and you're gay yeah and he's sitting on my couch watching love island and i go hey babe like can you take out the trash like i'm actively vacuuming i'm like lift up your fucking legs can you take out the trash he goes yeah give me like 20 minutes episode's almost over get your white ass up off of my leather couch and take the fucking trash out go you succubus stoner idiot homo stand up homo homo get up and take the trash out homo take the trash out homo there's trash in the house homo and it needs to go to the bin get up gay now before i throw a brick at you get up gay get up gay guy take out trash gay yeah what are you doing men oh that's the eternal question what as a man what are you doing what are you doing men myself doing it around me Not including you.

50:59Myself excluded. Yeah. There's something going on with men. Something. Oh, you want to know what Annabelle said the other day? Tell me that. The other day, last night, about 12 hours ago. She goes, actually, I'll read it. Because I wrote it down. Because I was high and it made me laugh. And I was like, can't forget that. Read it back to myself this morning. Not funny. Not that interesting, yeah. Yeah. What's in the air today? Dumbass gas? Idiot gas? Well, and someone's breathing deep. Someone's got the respirator on. There's idiot gas in the air and some of y 'all are breathing deep. Yeah. You bitches got it.

51:27You just got an inhaler or something. Okay. You just have like a fucking oxygen tank. Brittany. Brittany, ground. Ground. Brittany, ground. Yo, there's dumb ass gas in the air. You bitches are sucking it. Brittany, touch something. Touch something. Touch three things. I need to knit. That's why I brought my knitting. You brought the knitting. You've only wielded it to like make a point. You've not knitted once. Well, yeah, because here's the thing. I thought there was going to be a podcast stand. I thought there was going to be a mic stand. No, we hold them on here. Guess the budget was cut. We hold them on.

51:53The budget's been cut. Yeah, because you won't come on that often. Well, here I am. more we'd make more money i'm supporting queer art you are and you always have and when you came on my show you were also supporting queer art i was my own yeah yeah i was promoting myself promoting queer art yeah promoting promoting myself as a queer artiste yes what do you think here's what i'm gonna ask you let me know what do you think's going on with the culture right now what is your view of 2026 how do you feel about 2025 what happened what is going to need to happen for 2026 2025 was full of lies it was full of vitriol okay it was it was full of horrible friendships being torn apart yes bitter endings yes 2026 is about rebirth yeah no in all seriousness 2025 was probably one of the best years of my life same yeah it was like truly unimaginable personal growth and reconnecting with friends and rediscovering myself and i think i'm the best version of myself i've ever been um i finally like i said got to a point where i truly could give a fuck about a man's opinion of me because if i like it then that means it's probably cool yeah and that means that there's a whole community of cool people that agree with me so once you remove like men and their nasty ass incorrect tasteless opinions um you're able to live freely sorry guys anyone in this room yeah 2026 i'm seeing more of that i'm also seeing um probably like fashion trends of the 2014 2015 era coming back yes infinity scarves probably galaxy print leggings we're already seeing printed leggings yeah we're seeing a lot of high-waisted jeans low-rise jeans as well and like oversized sweaters it's very we're back on tumblr Yes.

53:45I think for 2026, I see ordering for the table. I see board games, board games coming back in a major way. Board games, are card games included in that? Card games, board games, manual physical games. I completely agree. Screenless nights with friends. Screenless nights with friends. Screenless nights with friends. Screenless nights with friends. A card game with your friends. Screenless nights with friends. We gather and there's not a screen involved. No, no phones in sight. Cards, board games, walking, eating, talking. homemade meals with your friends. Homemade meals. Screenless nights with friends.

54:18With friends. If you can hear me now, I would like you to have a screenless night with friends. That is coming out big in 2026. 100%. Long walks. How about this? Long walks. Crafts. Crafts. Yeah, I taught myself how to sew. Crafts. Sewing. Sewing. Things that have to do with the hands. Ooh, yeah. Screenless handwork. Screenless hand jobs are back in 2026. Jerk someone off today. Please jerk someone off today. and you don't have to use your mouth. That's so, it's past. Jerk someone off now and only suck it a little if you want to. Yeah, I also learned what a rusty trumpet is. Tell me now. So, rusty trumpet is actually when you're like eating the ass and it's like brown and then you're also jerking it off.

54:59It's like a rusty trumpet. So, handjobs are bad. Screenless nights with friends. Long walks. Ordering for the table. Homemade meals. Enjoying your friends. Jerking it off from the back With your friends Enjoying life Joy de vivre Earnest enjoyment of the things you like With no apologies Be a nerd Be a nerd Two of the hottest, coolest people I know Just asked me to do D &D with them I was shocked and I'm going to Caleb, can I come? Come. You'd love these people Who is it? Is it Heidi in Closet? No. I will tell you who it is off camera Okay, love it. Because I don't want to out them in case they don't want people to know they're getting into D &D.

55:44I don't know what kind of community that is. Okay. I don't know much about D &D. Okay, yeah. I know they're serious. Yes. Yeah. And yes, that goes into screenless nights with friends. What else is going on? The male Ugg. There has been a cultural caution around the male Ugg. Mind you, he's wearing male Uggs. And I have another pair of the short booties. You're wearing the booties. I'm getting into male Uggs short booties. if you are a man, you should not be wearing the tall Uggs. Right. That's not for you. It's gay. No, it's ugly. No, it's ugly. I think the short booties are a little gay. Male Uggs are coming back in 2026.

56:23Are Birkenstocks out? Birkenstocks are still in. Yes. Also in for 2026, making playlists for your friends. 100%. Make a playlist for your friends now. Make a playlist for each friend now. I think also make a playlist for screenless nights with friends. Screenless nights with friends. Make that playlist. Yes. Also. Bossa Nova. Bossa Nova. Go to random events. This was going to be one of my so trues actually because I did prepare five. Go ahead. Say yes. Say yes. 2026 yes. The cost of community is inconvenience. Yes. Say it. Say yes. Go to the thing. Everyone wants a village. Nobody wants to be a villager.

57:02In 2026. Be a villager. We're saying yes to villager. Yeah. We're saying no to isolation. I'm feeling it. I'm feeling it. In 2026, we're saying no to isolation, no to depression. No to sadness. Say no to mental health. Say no to mental health and say yes to getting over yourself and saying yes. We're saying yes in 2026. We're having fun. We're going to random events. We're taking a trip. Yes, we are taking a trip with our friends. We're saving up. We're not overconsuming. We're not overconsuming. We're saving up that money to put towards an experience with your friends. We need experiences. We need it.

57:35We don't need stuff or things. We're having fun. If you have a job you hate, no matter the consequences, we're quitting it in 2026. Yes. Yes. Quit. Go with me. Go with me. Go with me. Guys, who needs health insurance? Quit your job. You quit the job now. Get rid of your health insurance. Quit your job. Get rid of your health insurance. 2026, everyone who listens to this podcast, you will be blessed beyond measure. If you are seeing this video, if you're hearing this audio. Money coming your way. In 2026, there's money coming your way. Yes, there is. There are levels of love you could never have imagined.

58:09That you haven't unlocked yet. There's wonder and whimsy and experiences. The best things are ahead. The best things are ahead for you. You are anointed in this moment. In 2026 and beyond, if you can see this video, if you can hear this audio. Like and reshare. Like and reshare because the best things are ahead for you. No one can harm you. You've never done anything wrong. Everything is going well. You're always right. You are right. Say yes. Say yes. And also comment to claim. Comment to claim. and you must claim. You must claim it. You must claim. Or it won't come true. Because if you don't claim, you cannot have.

58:39You must claim. You must. And if you are not in a position of having, then you should get there from the yearning. Yearn until you have. And once this, oh, Brittany. Okay. Okay. This is an important part. Yes. Yearn until you, yearn. Yearn. I beg you to yearn. With your being, you should be yearning. Yearn. But once you have. Spiral. Spiral. Crash out and do not know how to enjoy it. Yeah. and lose it. Want until you have and then freak the fuck out.

59:10I can do that. I want you to want constantly and once you have I want you to sabotage. 2026 become insatiable. Yes. Never, never have enough. Never, never have enough. Never enough. Never enough. These are jokes. The last part. Yeah, of course. A lot of it was serious up until then. Everything else was serious. I want everyone to live well in 2026. I'm tired. I'm tired. Brittany, I'm tired of bad news. I agree. And bad vibes. Yeah. Let's lighten it up. Guys, get happy now. Get happy now. Everyone get happy now. You know that I've been auditioning as my potential word of the year for 2026. And by the time this episode comes out, I will have decided.

59:49But right now, when we're recording in December, I have been auditioning the word lightheartedness for 2026 as my word of the year. Lightheartedness. As my word of the year. I like that. I've been auditioning it. Nothing's too serious. Nothing's too serious. Lightheartedness. Everything can be light. I have also been auditioning. Sometimes it's a word. Sometimes it's a phrase. I have been auditioning for 2026. The phrase, all the best things are ahead of me. Because I believe that they are. Wow. I believe that they are. You know, I am excited to see you finally have some success in something. Yes.

1:00:25I would like to succeed. I'm really looking forward to it. But can I tell you something? Yeah. I don't care if I succeed. because I got everything I need. Oh, in this room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got my girls, right? Yeah. And I have... Your male Uggs? I have my male Uggs and my mugs. Mugs. And... Mama, this mug, hunty boot down. It's giving trade.

1:00:59Addison Rae, mother. Mother alert Zara Larson out of the Kia Asylum So I don't know why you're talking like that But I'm Getting really really scared I'm getting really mad I'm getting really scared I'm trying to communicate with So you've upset me a lot I'm sorry Are we really doing this? I have a segment for you You love a damn game I have a game for you You love this game I do. Let's do it. Brittany, I'm going to read you 15 statements. I'm sure you will. You're going to tell me as quickly as you can if you think what I just said was true or false. Honey, if you get 10 or more correct, sugar, we're going to give you 50 US dollars.

1:01:42Honey. Honey. I'm down. Boots. Boots. Wait. Cunt. Cunt. Wig. Did you just say wig? Did you just say wig? Wig. Bats are the only flying mammals. That is true. True. Russia has 11 time zones. Yeah, obviously that's true. True. The Amazon River is the longest river in the world. No. False. It's the Nile River. Yes, it is. The average human sneeze can be clocked at 100 miles per hour. False. True. Texas A &M school newspaper is the reveler. False. False. The battalion. Yeah, it is the battalion. Saffron is the world's most expensive spice. True. True. CVS stands for consumer value stores. True. True.

1:02:18HEB stands for Howard Edward Butt. False. True. Fuck. Ants can lift up to 100 times their body weight. False. Up to 5 ,000 times their body weight. See, I don't like ones like that where you get them. Sorry. When it is true, but the magnitude has been skewed, you're pissing me off. Keep fucking going. Greenland is the largest island in the world. Greenland? Yep. Greenland is the largest island in the world. Wrong. True. It's Australia. True. Technically, we're all islands. Greenland, true. Don't. Don't. Please. Please. Hozier is six foot two. False. He's taller. False. He's six six. Shrek has a longer run time than Shrek two.

1:02:59True. False. There are a hundred US senators. True. True. There's 50 states and there's two from each state. Oh. Raising canes is older than Timothee Chalamet. True. False. Sound waves travel faster in water than they do in air. True. True. How'd she do? Nine. Oh, Brittany. Out of 15. You needed to get 10. Can you do it again and I'll answer him right? It is so funny you say that because we recorded Kumail this morning and he said the exact same thing. He goes run it again I'll get them right Yeah do it again I'll know the answer But you know what's funny is I probably wouldn't I'd forget Can I ask you a question please You wake up Five years from now You love this question What's your perfect day My perfect day And don't be fucking silly with me for once It wouldn't fucking kill you to give one artist the answer on my show For you I will Ready I wake up Blessings nothing to do nothing to do I share a bed with my Irishman we open the French doors the French windows the double doors

1:04:14there's curtains blowing in the breeze the smell of an orange tree we don't speak to each other we are he makes me coffee, I read in bed okay i haven't gotten out of bed yet we're reading in bed uh we're maybe kissing we're rolling around how are you gonna do that while you're reading um because i'll have finished reading by that point okay okay is that making sense yeah so then we'll start to watch tv then we'll start to watch tv um then we'll might we'll get up we'll start doing whatever we have a big dinner party that night oh my god okay we have dinner party we're hosting because that's my dream i love to host me i start prepping some of the meals.

1:04:53I'm cooking. I do like to cook for my friends. You do. But then they also bring potluck style. The shit that I don't really care to make, like desserts and whatever. I don't like to bake. I like to cook. Yeah. They bring all that. We do a nice bake. I have crafted, me and my man have crafted little name cards out of air dry clay. Yeah. Okay. We've done little crafts that make it like the candles we've made, our own from wax and scented stuff, everything. The table's set beautifully. we have a beautiful night, screenless night with friends. We play cards. Screenless night with friends. We don't watch a movie.

1:05:25We don't have to do any of that. We're laughing. We're doing bits. Maybe the edibles are broken out. I want people peeing in their pants. They're laughing so hard. Yeah. Maybe one or two people gets a little too drunk, too high. They spend the night because I have guest rooms. That's me. That's my dream. I'm high and I'm sleeping over. Yeah, you're high and we're going to drag you out by your ankles. I'm so stoned you can't put me in an Uber. Yeah. Tough. That's the way I get it, screenless night with friends. Yeah. You're so stoned we give you a sippy cup with water We say just figure it out You place me in bed Please don't get up and wander into our room Because you like to do that If it's scary or I threw up It's scary at night, it's dark That's my perfect night We go to bed and I go to bed with my Irishman He cleans the kitchen You take out the trash once you're not high I'll do it in the morning And then We go to bed and then we wake up We all get breakfast and then everyone goes home.

1:06:19It's my perfect day. Which honestly, I know you do this thought experiment with a lot of people and you called out that it's just peace. Freedom, peace and freedom. I ask people this question a lot at dinner and stuff and the number one thing I've noticed I've been asking it for years of many different types of people. The number one thing people seem to want is freedom. Just the freedom to do what they would like to do. How? And people have varying levels of structure varying levels of engagement with others. Some people have work included in their perfect day. And there are times when I answer it that I do that I'm like, you know, I actually would like to, it seems like I'd like to work a little bit.

1:06:53But freedom is the number one thing that they go, if I don't want to do something I was supposed to do, I don't have to. They want freedom. And there's no rigid consequence to it as well. I think that's beautiful. You know, a question I started asking some of the guests on Royal Court is what type of old man do you think you'll be? Just an old person. You know, for the longest time, I could never picture myself old. I could never like when I was growing up and stuff I never pictured myself old Like in a way where I was like I don't think I'm going to live To be old I don't know why What is that supposed to mean?

1:07:24I have no fucking clue it was obviously very weird and sad But I know a lot of people relate to it And a lot of queer people I've heard this from So I'm sure there's something about that Something deep there that I don't really I'm not interested in checking that out I would say in the last five years I've finally started to see myself As an old person And I like him I like him I think I'm going to be a silly old person Yeah you're going to be the guy in the shop That like makes everyone laugh Yeah I'm going to do like little faces for the kids and shit I'm going to be like the house that goes crazy on Halloween And all the kids want to come for the candy Totally I'm going to be hopefully By the time I'm old I hope I'm the parent of adult children I hope I have like adult kids by then And I'm going to be a really good grandparent And I'm going to be Wearing really cute fits I'm going to be like not like too stylish I don't like when an old man is too stylish I don't like seeing an old man in like couture sure it's not fun for me yeah it upsets me not because they can't i'm just like i don't i'm not interested in it i want to be stylish in like more of a diane keaton way covered from neck to toe fucking big flowy shirts thick turtlenecks thick turtlenecks little hats gloves comfy pants gloves i want to be giving like i want to be giving like comfy older person who has a stylish little chic flair with it yeah i like that yeah gay but not noticeably thank you but like if you thought about it you would know yeah yeah i i love that for you yeah i do love that i want to be something a bit similar but i want to be a bit more i never want kids so i think the freedom that that allows is wow my whole life i just get to really do me but you'll never know true love says who me you need to grow up yeah you need to get that out of your fucking head yeah yeah i'm just kidding i Do you think that's funny, though, when people say that?

1:09:08When people have kids, they're like, yeah, you're free, but at what cost? That's like their POV for real. That's harrowing because I get a lot of TikToks of like, I love my daughter, but if I could do this all again, I would not have a kid. Imagine your mother getting on TikTok and saying that, which she probably has. You're getting served. Mine? Yeah, yours. Oh, Brittany, that's horrible. That's a joke, Caleb. We're doing this. Oh, my goodness. Brittany, that's horrible. Brittany, I just love you. you so much. You know I love you. I don't want this to end. Is that crazy? Well, how about you and me go get some lunch?

1:09:43I know that you're hungry. I am hungry. We ordered lunch here before you came. And you got, you received the order form, but you didn't order anything. When was that sent? Yesterday. A full day in advance. Yeah. And you know what's funny? Virginia actually texted me and said, hey, Brittany doesn't respond to this email when I email her. You might want to text her the lunch order. And I forgot to do it. So actually, there was actually a system in place to make sure that you were taken care of. And I forgot to do the double step. So that's on me. It's fine because I think things happen for a reason and all roads lead to Cinnabon.

1:10:15There is not a road leading to Cinnabon today. I'm not taking you to - There might be a DoorDash driver leaving to Cinnabon. I'm not taking you to Popeyes or Cinnabon, Brittany. Are you actually fucking for real? Yes, I'm fucking for real. I'm going to take you somewhere good and local. Okay. You're going to patronize a local business today. We're going to raise the decibels in this local business. I'm taking you kicking and screaming into a small owned business. You know what? I'll allow it. Just for today. Just for today. Just for today. I love you so much. Is there anything we didn't talk about?

1:10:41God, we might not do this again for a long time. Is there anything you want to talk about that we didn't get into? Why would you say that? We might not. We're busy. Your place is on places. Yeah, but I'll be back here in six months. We'll do this again. Yeah. We did. You and I did concept a while back. A show called Porch Sittin'. Porch Sittin'. Where we sit on a porch. And just. And just fucking gab. Yeah. And I don't think that either of us is in a place to do it anytime soon. No, that's when we're like 40s. Exactly. Yeah. There's a future where we do this. And it will be happening. And first guest?

1:11:11Drew. Drew. It would be Drew. I do love Drew. Trixie. Trixie. And no one else really. Chris. We'll do one episode with Drew, one episode with Trixie, one episode with Chris. We call it. It's a limited series. Yeah. Yeah. I do think that that is... Oh, here's something else I want to talk about. I'm not done yet. Okay. have you thought about or have we talked about this before of if all this went away tomorrow what would you do yeah I've got several ideas yeah let me know I don't have enough money put away yet to accomplish this but I'm trying to put money away to the effect that I would get a farm somewhere and learn how to farm and no it's not easy I know it'd be very hard I just legitimately I think that if I wasn't doing this I think I'd like to do a total 180 where my life has like real like hard work I think that's one thing I would do or I would when you say all of this went away like could I go write books or that's not a possibility anymore either like I get like full scale cancelled or something it would be like you don't have the platform that you do I would probably I have the house in Kansas City I would probably just move back to Kansas City and I actually did I did think about this recently that I was like I was having some anxiety about people were mad at me online for something I don't even remember what, to be 100 % honest.

1:12:27But it was something that people were being annoying to me about in my tagged stories. And I thought, like, man, what if I just quit all this? And I don't want to because I love my life. But that thought comes up sometimes. And I thought, well, as long as you had enough money to pay off the house, I would probably just, like, go volunteer with KC Tenants as much as I could. Like, just volunteer with the Tenant Union. Because I love all those people and I love that thing. So I'm like, if I had money to live enough, I'm assuming that I would have enough money coming in residually for at least a while to just like go away and do that.

1:12:58And then I would have to figure something else out eventually. But you would. I think all roads would lead back to you having a creative pursuit in some regard. I'll always be making. I need it to live. You can't help it. I need it to live. Yeah. I literally am supposed to be taking a break right now. And I did two shows last night. You literally cannot help it. I like it. There's new stuff I want to talk about. I like it. You know, I'm hoping for 2026, I can get to a place where I'm bored again. Yeah. Some of my best, like the most fun that I have making things or creating things or coming up with ideas for whatever is when I'm bored to tears.

1:13:33And I haven't been bored for a long time. And I've gotten to this place where it's like I need to juice up and be just cracked out on an energy drink to be able to be like, you don't need to do all that. Yeah. You don't need to do it because it's in here. Yeah. Oh, I think also. What's up? No, no. I'm listening. I was going to say that. And my version is I'd go back to school. Yeah. Yeah. I crave academicism. Do you know what? That is another thing. If I could get, if I could get in somewhere, I actually might do this anyway. I've kind of dreamed of taking a year or two off and going and getting, um, um, masters in divinity and like studying religion.

1:14:08You're kidding. Yeah. I don't want to like be a preacher or anything, but I would like to go and spend a year like at a really good, um, the, what are they called? The theology. Yeah. but they're um a really good the um but a really good uh mdiv program and going and learning about just like faith and religion and like talking with other people like that very tea because i feel like that's one of the only honest um places you could actually have an academic discourse about true genuine questions about it and also to have a curriculum to study the texts in and have a discussion-based classroom i think that's really i love and for most people that I know that have an MDiv, their class was very diverse.

1:14:50It was like people that were Muslim and people that were Jewish and people that were atheist and people that were Christian. It seems like a space where you can very academically talk with a very diverse group of people on purpose in a continued way. I think that would be really nice. Imagine that. You don't want to do it in TikTok comment sections? No, not anymore. That's random. I had fun with that for a while. On Twitter? I did see a girl on TikTok recently that her thing is like, her thing is like walking around just like saying moral dilemmas that have already been established. Like she's like, she's like, so there's a train on a track.

1:15:30And if you do nothing, it kills one person. But if you change it, it kills five or whatever. And people just talk in the comments. And then people are in the comments being like, I think I would pull the lever. And it's like, and her whole thing is just repeating these. She's like, so a man in a white coat tells you to push a button. You hear a scream in the other room. Would you push it? And people were in the comments being like, I wouldn't push it. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? What the fuck is going on? Ever heard of World War II, sweetie? Stop it. Yeah, how about this? That and I forgot what I was going to say.

1:16:01Hold on. Say it again. If there was a man in a white coat and you pushed a... Oh! Here's what I was going to say. Thank you. One must imagine Sisyphus creating TikTok philosophy videos. Yeah. Have to. One must imagine that. One must imagine. I think it's so funny when you can clearly tell just from being on the internet for that long, this is recycled content. And it's like, anyone can do a Tik TOK caption and do, and point to it with like a trending audio. And then it gets 7 million likes and it's like, totally. But I don't feel, I have this strange relationship to that type of content now where I'm like, this will always happen.

1:16:38Yeah. And where are you going to be in a year? You know, like this, I want to comment like young Padawan. Yeah. this is bottomless. Yeah. This is an infinite wealth. You could do this forever. Yeah, it's why I'm kind of getting interested in, well, I've always been interested in live performance, but I'm kind of getting, I'm starting to spend my brain on theater a little bit and being like, is there a theater piece I'd like to do? Because I increasingly, as everything becomes AI and as all these companies become one super company called like Watch It or whatever the fuck. Watch It Now Plus. Whatever the fuck they're doing.

1:17:07Watch It Plus Plus Plus. Deliverable. Like, they're all becoming like one company. I don't know. I'm scared. It's very scary. And everything's AI. You can't really trust anything anymore. I'm like, the thing that we can trust is being in rooms with strangers. Totally. That we can trust that that is real. And there's only really one really negative outcome of that. And we're obviously not doing anything about that. Yeah. You know, shootings. But. Oh, COVID. COVID. Yeah. Well, we did something about that. We started ignoring it. And Brittany, I love you so much. I love you, girl. I want to turn these cameras off.

1:17:40I want to go get stoned with you. And I want to find lunch. You know what? I could be down. Do you want to tell people where they can find you? You can find me, Brittany Broski, on the Broski Report. It's a podcast. I talk to myself. You guys might like it. You can find me on Royal Court. It's my celebrity interview show. It's medieval themed, as Caleb so sillily pointed out. We've had him on. If you're a fan of him, you might be a fan of my show. Okay? We've also had Drew, Trixie, all the classic characters in our gang. We've had them on the show. You can go check it out there. you can check me out on red carpets i host stuff i do college shows if you want to book me my email is in my bio i do birthdays and i love you guys and i love you i love you so much dude oh and i also post youtube videos now we're back in 2026 on the britney broski youtube channel that's three channels three free channels content for free all the time you want merch i've got broski.shop guys come on i love you love you bye for now bye for now i'll be back in six months you will Goodbye.

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