Hoja Lopez Returns

29:34What we hear is so true, the whole team love the most about Hinge, and we're always bringing this up, has got to be the signals feature, which allows you to see what profiles thoughtfully engage with their matches. I mean, who doesn't love thoughtful engagement? For anyone who might need a little assistance when it comes to making their profile pop, Hinge has just released their new Friends Take feature that lets you invite the people who know you best to contribute short, authentic reflections directly to your profile via text, voice, video, and photos. Chance, why don't you give him a reflection for me, for my Hinge profile?

30:08For you? Yeah, well, give him a, you know me best, give him a reflection of me. Oh, wow, great smile, and he always picks up the check. That's actually, yeah, that's actually really nice. Wait, actually, Nicole Clipped, that sent that to me. Next time you're looking to make a connection, do us a favor and give Hinge a try. Fall never arrives all at once. First the air, then the light. And slowly the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress. A hoodie slips beneath a blazer. An old cap finds a new scarf. Because you don't simply step into the season. You create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall.

30:52Find fall your way at Ross.

30:57The best thing about me, just to really move through to that. I think I'm someone who is very inclusive. I really want to bring people close and I desire that intimacy with everyone. and I'm not afraid to go for it with people that I meet, with friends, with friends' friends. I'm a pursuer of intimacy and care and love, and I love that about myself. And I think the friends that I have come to me in a lot of different ways say how much they appreciate that closeness that I almost like demand of people that are in my life. It's like I want to know everything about you. I want to know what you're thinking about little things and big things and I pursue it like rabidly.

31:46It's where I get all of my energy is that. I think that's true about you. Yeah, that's very, thank you. I think that's deeply true about you. I think that's a beautiful one. Thank you. Yeah, I love that about myself. And then I would say maybe my worst quality. Oh, we're doing it. Okay, wow. No, we're going. Oh, okay, wow. I love talking about myself. So this question is perfect. I would say that the worst part of myself is I can be on the other side of the coin very judgmental and critical. Wow. And that sometimes I can take away the joy of moments by criticizing things through the lens of my insecurity, my lack of knowledge, my desire to feel better about myself.

32:33Yeah. And so sometimes I can tear shit down in my brain and in my heart because I'm not feeling good about myself. Yeah. And I have to really quiet that voice down quite often. And it affects people negatively in my life, that criticism and that. That's interesting. I don't see that about you very often. I hate it so well. I know. Well, that's nice. The worst thing about you being a bad day scenario rather than a constant through line is a nice thing. That means you're doing good work. That means that you're establishing, yeah, you know your stuff and you're working on it and doing good. Yeah.

33:12And I don't know if you had this, but for many years thought I was terrible and a bad person. Really? Oh, yeah. I spent probably until maybe 27 really thinking the worst of myself. Really? Oh, it was peaks of delusional charisma and then couldn't back it up with any real substance of friendship. It was really hard. People would really like me when they first met me and then the relationship would peak at the beginning and eventually every single one of those friendships would. It was like they would get to know me and it was harder to be my friend. Why was that? You know, I was a big liar and a thief.

33:54and yes. All of my lying and stealing, of course. Yes, yes, yes. I was a big liar, a big sinner. No, I was a big, I think just toxic ass, full toxic bitch. And it was also mired in a lot of charisma, in a lot of dictatorship over my friendships. And it was, yeah, until I was probably about 27 or 28, truly thieving and making excuses for it, babes. You stopped stealing. Oh, I stopped stealing. I think there was a little klepto style stuff going on. I want to ask though, how did you, I'm sure, I'm sure there are people listening to this that are relating to at least some piece of this. I don't know about the lying and the thieving, but how did you, I think more broadly, you identified that your relationships weren't going the way you wanted them to.

34:51yeah then you i didn't you did probably the harder part which is i think many people can identify like that kind of isn't going the way i'd like it to go then you did the harder part of identifying your role in it which is one of the hardest parts of self-improvement and happiness is realizing that you you have a shared creation in every dynamic you're a part of whether you like it or not you're not a victim you are playing a role in every dynamic that you're in whether it's allowing bad behavior or participating in bad behavior so you recognized your role in it and then you made to change. Was there a person that said something to you or a thing you read or like what happened that helped you change the behavior that was making you unhappy?

35:27Do you know? Oh yeah. Um, I was really dark and deep. No, it's not dark and deep. It's not dark and deep. It's I, my friend James, uh, who I love so much. He, I, he had this amp at my house and I couldn't pay my rent and I sold his amp and took the money and paid my rent. Yeah. And it caused a ripple effect in my, in my friend group at that time, people that were very close to me and all of them were like, Hey, we just can't abide by this behavior. Yeah. We're done. And so, right. That's tea. Yeah. And so I lost my entire kind of close circle of friends in that moment at 27, 28. And, uh, they sort of created a lot of boundaries around me and it was barbed wire boundaries too.

36:15It wasn't just like, you can't come around. It was like, get the fuck away, you know? And that really, you know, you're alone in a fuck, like in a room. And, you know, who do you call your mom? You know what I mean? You call your fucking mom because it's the only fucking person in your life that is going to still talk to you at that point. And so I called my mom and she really honed in on this thing that I really have taken very seriously ever since, which is like the forgive yourself and then you can move on. Yeah. Like, and I always got stuck. The wheels got stuck in the forgiving myself part.

36:51God, this is so self-help-y, Caleb. But like truly. No, I don't. Now I fuck up. I go, I forgive myself. You fucked up. Move forward. You can make amends from that point on. If you stick around and you're like, I did this thing and it was so fucked up. Like, of course, you're going to think about it and figure out what your part in it was. but don't let that get in the way of like actually making amends with people and changing things. I find that if you get too stuck in the like, I'm a fuck up and I'm bad. Yeah. That was the shift. It's like, actually, I'm not bad. I forgive myself even if no one else does.

37:24Yeah. And that really started a whole new era of my life. That was so much fucking fun. Well, you have such beautiful, deep, rich, varied friendships in your life now. Absolutely. So it obviously worked. I think the thing you're talking about though of am I a good person am I a bad person I think about this a lot with am I a happy person or not etc the line of thinking of am I x y or z type of person is to me inherently negative I don't really worry about if I'm a good or bad person I worry about if I am doing good or bad like it's sometimes we will all do bad and sometimes we will all be mean and sometimes we'll all be negative and sometimes we'll all be critical or selfish or whatever those behaviors occur naturally like in human life yeah that doesn't mean you are behaving selfishly on a monday doesn't mean that every day thence forward that you are a selfish person capital asp it just you were selfish on monday and i i don't know the the focus on i think shifting the focus on um from what type of person am i to how am i behaving is way better because it allows you to be like, oh, I was kind of bad yesterday or I've noticed that lately I've shown up in X way in my friendships or whatever.

38:37Oh, and to have a lovely friend who calls you and goes like, hey, I noticed you've been interrupting me a lot lately. I had a friend call me about that a couple months ago. Oh my God. She was like, hey, I just want to let you know, I feel like you've been interrupting me a lot lately. She goes, I'm not mad or anything. I just want to let you know it's happened four or five times. Yeah. And that's it. I just have that for you. I'm six. I'm six one half dozen the other on that. because did you feel like you were interrupting them a lot? Do you feel like it was based in truth? Yeah, there was something going on between us.

39:08I'm going to be honest, I felt like she was just talking to talk. Yeah. Talking to talk, talking just to say stuff. And sometimes when I feel like people are just wanting to hear their own voice a lot, and I told this to her, I'll be like, let me redirect this a little bit. And this is my organizational skills and benevolent manipulation. I could probably stop doing that. I don't need to do that all the time. The reason that bumps me is because I think always you're welcome to voice any relationship I have in my life. I would welcome someone voicing their concern. I just have been in friendships sometimes that I've had to like not cut off but like slow down or pull the brakes on a little bit.

39:49I just won't engage in like constant evaluation and criticism. and so sometimes those things I'm like like I feel like you've been cutting me off a lot lately it's totally fine if I'm doing that and if I recognize the behavior is true I'm happy to hear it and we'll change course but sometimes I've been friends with people that are so therapized and so critical and constantly evaluating that I'm like you're not wrong but if it comes up all the time I'm gonna eventually get the vibe that we just aren't a fit like there are just certain times that I'm like I don't want to hear from you anymore about your little evaluations and criticisms of our dynamic, at a certain point, you might just not like talking to me and we should stop doing it so much.

40:29Yeah. Like not every relationship is worth so much work. That is such a hard thing to learn too because we right now, especially I think are taught like preserve the friendship, keep moving, move through stuff, work through stuff. And it's like, actually, you just have a nicer time if we hang out less. To a point. Less. There are some relationships, I think there are relationships, you'll identify them. You'll know what they are in your heart. There's no hard and fast rule, which is why I would never be like, don't tell me I'm interrupting you. Sometimes it's nice to hear those things, and I have friendships, and Holmes and I are very honest with each other.

41:01Holmes is the type of relationship that I've had for long enough and has been beautiful enough and we've been through enough that anything Holmes says to me about my behavior, I'm going to listen. But then there are more tertiary friendships that I'm like, damn, the last six times we've talked, you've had some weird gripe about our dynamic. and whether it's valid or not, I just think we need to spend less time together. Maybe we're just not a match and that is so fucking fine. It's so fine. Have you been able to say that to people and then react positively? I've done it both ways. There have been times where I've naturally put distance between a relationship and we've kind of tapered off a little bit and I haven't put words to it because they haven't asked and I feel like sometimes that's generosity.

41:39Sometimes it's like... It's your little white lie. It's a different version of that, of the distance can be enough. You don't want to hear that. Also, I don't owe you a thesis on why we're not talking as much lately. Everyone's busy and we're adults. Anytime someone asks, I will tell. If someone's like, hey, I feel like there's distance, I will absolutely be like, yes, I'm putting distance because you've been on my nerves. And every time we talk, I feel like it's a criticism and I'm just really not feeling it. And so that's what it is. And I've distanced friendships and been like, hey, I just really think we're not on the same page.

42:10And it almost really never spawns from a criticism of our dynamic. it almost always is a recurring thing that I'm like, I'm not really digging the energy lately. And that's okay. This episode is brought to you by Hinge. Look, dating can be a goddamn nightmare. It can be a daunting and difficult thing to navigate. But thankfully, our friends at Hinge are here to help. Hinge is the dating app designed to be, you guessed it, deleted. It's for people dating with intention, going on dates, putting themselves out there. Hinge is designed for finding connections. What makes Hinge the ideal dating app is its user-friendly layout and its interactive prompts feature that allow you to ask potential suitors questions or pick topics to get the conversation going without the awkward ice breaking phase.

42:52What we hear is so true, the whole team love the most about Hinge, and we're always bringing this up, has got to be the signals feature, which allows you to see what profiles thoughtfully engage with their matches. I mean, who doesn't love thoughtful engagement? For anyone who might need a little assistance when it comes to making their profile pop, Hinge has just released their new Friends Take feature that lets you invite the people who know you best to contribute short, authentic reflections directly to your profile via text, voice, video, and photos. Chance, why don't you give him a reflection for me?

43:25For my Hinge profile. For you? Yeah, well, give him a, you know me best, give him a reflection of me. Oh, wow, great smile, and he always picks up the check. That's actually, yeah, that's actually really nice. Wait, actually, Nicole Clipp doesn't have to be. Next time you're looking to make a connection, do us a favor and give Hinge a try. Yeah. I would say, by the way, maybe this has happened six times in my life. Yeah. Not that much. This doesn't come up a lot. Yeah. I feel the same way. It doesn't come up too much. I feel like I've gotten good at being like, I'm going to take a little step.

44:00You're a dinner friend. You're not a come over to my house and hang out friend. Yeah. You're a hang out with a group of people friend. You're not a one-on-one friend. It's so fucking cool though to know the difference Because I feel like you can get along with so many more people And enjoy so many more people By keeping them at the right Distance And also there's a real art and importance I think to Learning who you should be taking notes from Yeah I don't need notes from everybody I don't need to hear what everyone thinks of my Art or behavior or work Or attitude or disposition I don't Not everyone's notes are valuable yeah like there just are people that i meet and we get into like we're in a work relationship or a friendship or a romantic like entanglement and sometimes you hear the note and you go like oh i actually don't need to hear notes from you because i actually don't like the way that you're moving or i don't think that your notes are valid i think about this a lot more in a work context so much right now oh direct it bitch really oh absolutely we've made contact we've made contact it is like vibrating inside of me right now and it's literally i'm going i know what to do about this particular situation I'm going through.

45:07Very helpful. Well, you think about it. Why would every note from every person be valuable? Would you let a stranger on the street tell you about yourself? No, no. Every note is not valuable. Although they do. They do, of course. Strangers love to say a little thing to me sometimes. Same. Sometimes it's nice, sometimes it's mean. Sometimes it's nice, sometimes it's mean. Sometimes it's mean. I go, I don't need you to have me in, but thank you. Yeah, thank you for sharing it. Thank you for sharing that. I think it comes up more for me in a work context where I'm like, sometimes people want to give you notes that I'm like, well, you haven't made anything that I love.

45:39So I actually don't want to hear from you about my work. And there's zero malice in that. Yeah. It's just like, you're doing something different than I'm doing. I'm not going to take notes from somebody who hasn't made something that I love because in what world would that make sense? And I think sometimes when you're, when you're a nice person or you're a kind person, we want to be like, we want to hear everything with an open heart and keep the heart open. but sometimes openness doesn't mean sometimes openness means letting a thing in and letting it walk around for a second and then releasing it yeah openness doesn't mean that you hang on to anything that anyone says to you yeah it's i think that you know when i said the thing that i like about myself the intimacy piece yeah is that and the inclusivity piece my like dna my my brain waves are like want to be open to everyone they i want to let people in because that's how I sort through yeah like like who can be close but I do think that that there is a level of like exhaustion that comes from that like desire and from letting people into that way and I do I'm very much what do you think what do you need what do you want and um it causes me trouble of course yeah not big trouble but a little bit of trouble well that's the other thing is like I don't know my life is pretty not big trouble but a little trouble is the story of my stuff where I'm like my life is pretty cool my relationships are like in really good places i mostly don't have conflict god in my early 20s i had some friendships i really had to let go like those six people are all pretty much from my early 20s yeah that like i just had really turbulent relationships and now i'm at a place in my life where i'm like that was crazy i actually don't have turbulence in my life like me if there is a level of turbulence or discomfort in my life it's like because i don't have it that often it's like a fucking light focus on the discomfort and the problem uh and it becomes like i go why is that happening and i have to figure it out and try to push it away um or try to solve it really but yeah i feel the same way see that's interesting because i because my my work life and my love life and my family life and my friend life pretty much mostly cool Like I really don't, like I said, I don't have a lot of like huge conflicts or crazy mess.

47:55So I do sometimes feel myself getting sucked into a small thing and getting really upset about it. Yes. And I have to stop myself and go like, wait, this actually isn't that big of a deal. And I'm kind of giving it more weight than it needs to. Yeah. And like, actually everything's pretty okay and I can relax. Yeah. But I have a tendency to get like, it's almost like you want to be invested in something. You're like, you're like, oh, I. Well, drama is like fuels. Yeah. a little bit of drama when I'm drama dry I will lock onto that shit and try to you feel yourself on your seventh phone call to a friend about it and you're like I'm not getting anything from this.

48:29That is how you know it's too much you go wow I've talked about this five fucking times in the last like three days but that is a way of you're exercising the problem you're just like framing it over and over and over and over again until you get fucking tired of yourself and then it gets removed from the doctor. There's an interesting thing when you're retelling drama the first like three or four people you talk to about it you're finding the beats you're finding the beats you're like you're like finding the beats where you're like okay that part needed to go a little later and the reveal will seem crazier if i do it this way and then like the fifth or sixth person you talk to about it you go like i found the story yeah i know what the drama is you know and you know what the most fascinating emotional parts of it are you know who's the villain but also you have caveats for the villain caveats for the villain that's always You have made yourself the most reasonable character in the drama.

49:19But you admit to some fault. But you admit to your fault in the drama because you know that. That's right. Maybe that's how you become. That's it. You have found the way to tell the story. God, it's sickening. And then if you stop right there, if you stop and let it go and move on or go to the person. If you stop right there, life is good. On the seventh or eighth retell when you've already nailed the story, you've already figured out your feelings about it. There's nothing else to really discuss. You're telling the same person again. Yeah. You're telling one person. and that person was on the other end of it just like just taking it.

49:49Yeah. You gotta stop. That's when you ideally you stop before that but if you catch yourself there then it's like you really gotta move on. Yeah. And if you write it it only takes like one or two times which is sickening too. Yeah. It's like just write it. Yeah. But I've definitely told friends I can't talk about this anymore. Oh yeah me too. I've said hey I'm so sorry I don't want to hear about that conflict anymore. I can't hear it. It's over. Your co-worker sounds like a bitch. I'm done hearing about it. I love you to death. I gave, I gave, I did my part. I nodded so emphatically through the first telling on the fifth one.

50:19We're going to have to do solutions or move on. They find little colors, little flavors though. And it is interesting. They're still not landing on the story. But I need to move on. We got to move on. Yeah. Um, do you, um, do you find yourself, are you good at knowing if you're talking too much? Do you ever find yourself in that situation? I don't think that's one of my problems. I have, I have problems, but I don't think that they're, I don't think that me talking too much is usually one of them. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I do. So I, I have, I have talked too much, but I think I'm pretty good at, um, asking questions and moving on.

50:55Yeah. I, at least I hope so because it's one of my biggest pet peeves. When other people talk too much. When somebody is on like the, I'll say 23rd minute of a story that should have been six minutes. I feel myself being like, right, right, right, right, right. And anyway, anyway, anyway, what's everyone's favorite color? Like I'm like, let's get the fuck off of this. It's the redirect. Yes. You have to redirect because you are counting the beats in the room and you know it's been talked about for too fucking long. And I'm like, the craziest thing to me is I'm like, how are you not feeling? How are you not feeling?

51:24That person checked their phone three times. That person just went to the bathroom even though they were in there 10 minutes ago. It's the eyes glazed over at the party. Release them. Release them. Release them, baby. We're releasing them. We're releasing you. The power of release. The power of release. Yeah, but again, the caveat. Yeah. I'm trying to think of the last time I talked too much. Oh, yeah. Last time I watched someone's eyes glaze over when I was talking I don't know if I can place it When was it? When was it? Did I have I know I remember this I don't know why I'm thinking I'm going when was it?

51:54When did he do it? I remember this sensation Sometime in the last two months I remember I had the sensation of saying something that didn't go over And feeling embarrassed But I can't remember what it was But that's a nice thing about my brain Yeah My brain will move on Oh yeah I've trained myself to be like, that didn't happen. Do you do that little thing where you kind of trail off right at the end? Or do you go, I'm fucking losing them, but I'm going too big. It depends on if I've walked in. Because a lot of times what will happen is you realize you're in a circle of seven. And you realize you've lost six of them.

52:31But you find the one person. And then you will hone in on that one. But anyway. And so then they're your target. Oh, my God. Okay. This happened to me recently. And okay, I was in a group of seven or eight people. And there were two very powerful speakers who did not want to stop speaking. I remember you talking about this. And I want to tell you this because this is so stupid. But these two people would then realize that neither of them were going to stop talking, right? And so they would each individually attach to the person closest to them and continue speaking, creating what I can only call a fractal of division.

53:06in which now half of the group is talking, is holding court with this person and the other half of the group is holding court with this person, essentially. And I'm observing the entire thing happen going, I just want to be together, guys. And I keep trying to push the two groups together. They were too powerful. Yeah. They were too powerful and they did not notice that they were doing it over and over and over again. You know what? Can I say? I'm happy for them. Yeah. That sounds like they had a beautiful evening. They had a great time. I bet they went to bed feeling like, what a night. What a beautiful evening.

53:37Isn't that nice? Well, I do think delusion is correct. And there are ways in which you and I are delusional, and we don't totally know about it yet, and I can't wait to find out. I know that I'm delusional. Oh, it's part of life? And by the way, I know that I'm annoying. Yeah! You think I don't know that I'm annoying? Oh, annoying. Of course I'm annoying. Listen to me. Yeah. I'm fucking annoying. Yeah. But it's awesome the way that I'm annoying. Yeah! And it's a beautiful type of annoying. It's gorgeous. No, I am annoying. I'm happy to be annoying though I'm fine with it because if the alternative is being boring I do need to remind myself sometimes that when people are annoyed with me I'm like only boring people are unobjectionable all the time I don't want to be a boring person I would rather be annoying that's my take about me that's really beautiful the best thing about myself is that I am loyal I think that's maybe my favorite thing about myself I'm so sorry I didn't ask it back Thank you for offering.

54:34I'm giving it because I felt bad for asking you and you being the only one who answered. I've touched your hands so many times. I just feel very close to you today. Today? Yes. I mean, yeah, especially. Say it today. Okay. Stop it. Beautiful. I feel I like that I'm loyal. I think that's something nice about me. I feel like I really give people, I give people chances, maybe to a fault sometimes, but I like it. I wouldn't change it. And then my least favorite thing about myself. oh there are a couple or maybe the most difficult thing about myself I'm rigid about things need to be my way oh wait that's what I'm mine too I know well you and I have a lot of the same ones things need to be my way and it's tough because it was really good for me at my job I have taste and so it really works for me at work sometimes not for you guys but shout out yeah it's really hard but we things that I make work because I know how I want them.

55:31But then it carries into other aspects of my life where I'm like, I really could be less rigid. And I'll feel myself being rigid. And I'll feel myself being, like, wanting things my way and being annoyed that it's not going exactly my way. And I'll feel myself in it being like, God, you're being annoying right now. And I can't stop. I'm like, I don't care. It should have gone my way. But you also, there is this thing, right? Which is that you're right a lot. And I'm right a lot. Listen, we can't fucking help it. It's disgusting. Chance is shaking. It's disgusting. Thank you so much for coming back.

56:02This has been so true with O.H. It's disgusting that we're right a lot. And I hate it. But you know what? Okay, yes, I do identify as someone who's right a lot. It's the most annoying thing in the world. But I will say, it's not that important to be right all the time. Agreed. And I need to relax. Yeah. Here's the deal. Sometimes when you're right, you could also just shut the fuck up. Yeah. And Caleb has to internalize that note. Yeah. Like sometimes you are right and you also could shut the fuck up. I have absolutely in an era right now where I'm not giving feedback to people about even sometimes when they ask me.

56:39Really? I'm going opt out. Really? I'm opting out because I don't, the energy that I can't spend it on that. They're going to learn that lesson on their own. Eventually they will get there and maybe another person will help them. Today it won't be me. Do you know what I feel like in this conversation? A what? Did you ever see, I talk about this a lot. Did you ever see that clip of Maya Angelou and Oprah Winfrey in pajamas in bed together? Do y 'all know what I'm talking about? There's a clip of Maya Angelou and Oprah Winfrey wearing pajamas in bed together. And it's that clip, if you've ever seen it, where Maya Angelou goes, when people show you who they are, believe them.

57:18And Oprah goes, believe them. and they're like being so girls at a sleepover in the most beautiful way and I sometimes when I'm really locked in with a friend I feel that way and that's us right now we're in PJ's in the bed and it's by the way that conversation is beautiful if anyone hasn't heard it you should go listen to it but they're like so that moment between them is so awesome and electric and you really feel like they're locked in and that's how I feel with you today that's how I feel with you oh what's so true to you lesbians can say thank you Thank you. We can say it. We can say it. It's the funniest fucking word in the dictionary.

57:54Yes, you can. It's the greatest word that's ever existed. Lesbians can say f***. We've done a lot for you guys. Yes. We were, okay. You guys were the age nerds. We were at the hospital. We were the nurses, bitch. We can say f***. Yes, you were at the hospital. What do you think made the quilt? Yes. We made the quilt. Lesbians were at the hospitals and made the quilt. We've done a lot for you guys. We are the emotional backbone of all of us. We can say f***. You can say it. We're bleeping all of these, of course, but yes. You have to be pure of heart to say a slur now. Yes. That is how I feel. Yes.

58:23If you're going to say a slur, it has to come from a place of pureness of heart. And I am pure at heart and I'm allowed to say f***. You are. And I can see those little gay boys' eyes twitching when I say it. No. Okay? And I say, take it. Do you know how warm - Take it. Do you know how warm I feel when I hear you say the F slur? It warms me. And by the way, I'm not going to stop doing it even if you say no, but do you mind that I say the D slur? I would love for you to. Thank you. It is a beautiful word. It's been retooken. I love saying it. It's been taken. Queer people, here's what I want to say to queer people.

58:51Go off. Tell them. Queer people. Queer people, listen up. We talked to thin people. Now it's queer people. We talked to you. Now queer people. We are supposed to be making fun of each other. The other people are not supposed to be making fun of us. We're supposed to kill them. When straight people make fun of us, we're supposed to kill them. When we make fun of each other, that is what we're supposed to be doing. That's right. That is what queerness is. I'm like a little tired of these Tinder queers. The preciousness. Who can't hear a single thing about themselves. They're like the way that you invalidated.

59:23Shut up. I'm going to do it again. Shut up. Like we're supposed. I love you. I want to grab these Tinder queers by the face and I want to say, I love you. And that's why I'm doing this. I am seeing you and I'm making fun of your outfit because I love you. That's right. By the way, the first thing you said was to me when I walked in the room. wow I've never seen you in clashing patterns before dunk it's all you wear I fucking know it's all you wear and I love that about you that's a but that's a love it's a love and I never feel more seen than when somebody is roasting me well if I walked into a room and you said and you and you called me and you were like hey here comes this fat I would be like oh god it's so good to be back with my friends I would feel so seen by that and it feels like an ancestral communion with queer people before us It really is.

1:00:14Ugh, that's beautiful. Thank you. I have a game for you. Yeah, hit it. Maybe, by the way, maybe my favorite so true of all time that you just did. Oh my God, that's so sweet. That was beautiful. Are you ready? I'm ready. I'm going to read you 15 statements, Oha. And by the way, we're looking for a sponsor for this segment. If any brands out there want to contact us, we're considering branding the true false segment. And why? I love that. Because I have a mortgage. Okay, I'm going to read you 15 statements. I'm ready. You're going to tell me as quickly as you can, Oh Hoff, what I just said is true or false.

1:00:43And if you get 10 or more correct, we are going to give you 50 US dollars. Oh my God. Okay. Amazing. I could use that. And imagine if I had said like, we're going to give you a Hyundai Sonata. You know, that could be a good brand. I actually do need a Hyundai Sonata. You do? I really do. Yeah. Hyundai, reach out. Okay. You ready? Yes. The main character in The Land Before Time's name is Littlefoot. True. True. Gordon Ramsay was born in Scotland. True. True. The microwave oven was invented in 1845. False. False. It was 1945. Friendster is older than MySpace. True. True. Pringle is a Greek word for tube.

1:01:14No. False. The movie Eight Mile is three hours long. False. False. An hour and 50 minutes. Houston was once the capital of Texas. False. True. The Chicago River, the first one you miss is a Houston question. I know, and I'm literally from Houston. I'm so sorry. I love you guys so much. The Chicago River is longer than the Missouri River. False. False. You don't actually need a stamp to mail a letter. false false six vice presidents have been from illinois truth false nancy pelosi has been to every continent false false burger king was originally called insta burger king false true lemons float but lime sink

1:01:58true are you sure false it's true Anne Hathaway's mother invented the Bowflex machine False False The longest English word is 189 ,819 letters long False True How'd she do? Wow Hyundai Sonata Hyundai Sonata Coming to your driveway Hyundai Sonata Say that I have a wife That's the only thing I could take for that rant Thank you Oha We just love you so much I love you back I think we've done a podcast, my love We've done it Thank you guys for having me. Do you want to tell people where they can find you and how they can support you? Yeah. You can find me at Oja Lopez on Instagram. H-O-J-A-L-O-P-E-Z.

1:02:42I think it's Aloha Oja, right? I changed it. You changed the handle? Stop. You're calling me out. No, I thought you were just saying your name, but you changed the handle. I changed the handle because I'm not a Pacific Islander. Right. I have no claim on Aloha. This is sending shockwaves. It's sending shockwaves. I've had it since I was 19 years old. And literally two months ago, I changed it to at Oja Lopez. Oh, we love you so much. Thank you for doing it. I love you, Angel. Touch my hand again. Bella. Love you. Ciao, Bella, my love. We would make beautiful babies together. Oh, I've told you this.

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1:04:25For you? Yeah, well, give them a... You know me best. Give him a reflection of me. Oh, wow. Great smile, and he always picks up the check. That's actually, yeah, that's actually really nice. Actually, Nicole Clipped sent that to me. Next time you're looking to make a connection, do us a favor and give Hinge a try. Fall never arrives all at once. First the air, then the light, and slowly the things you love begin to find each other. A jacket meets a dress, A hoodie slips beneath a blazer. An old cap finds a new scarf. Because you don't simply step into the season. You create it layer by layer until it finally feels like fall.

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