Molly Kearney Returns

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29:05If they don't have some sewing machines there for you, I think we signed up for a new class. Right, but it's like, what if there's like, I drive a Ford and they have a Chevy. Like, I don't, what if they're different? Yeah, totally. That could be a totally big problem. Yeah, and I've just been drawing more again and really kind of going inward, which is not in really a depressing way and like a, I miss myself kind of way. Yeah? Did you lose yourself there for a second? I think I just, yeah, maybe. What happened? I think I just like didn't I was kind of ignoring myself And I was like trying not to like listen to my inner thoughts Because I was depressed And then I was like how do I fix this Friendships and crafts Yeah And not worrying about my looks That'll do it Was that part of what was depressing you Was thinking about appearance a lot Oh yeah I mean don't you think so Doesn't that feel like that sometimes I've been through that yeah Like being more front face, like being on a TV show, I'm like, or being a commercialist.

30:01I'm like, ah, God, heaven. But now I'm like, I'm awesome. And I'm Irish. And I'm going to, you know, Carly Kane is one of the best jokes ever. And I don't know if I should say her joke, but maybe I shouldn't. You should say her joke. Yeah, she'd love that. Yeah, right. Carly Kane is a joke that she said she's Irish. She's going to age like a banana in a backpack. And I think that's one of the best written jokes of our time. And yeah, that's me. She's so fucking funny. She is so funny. Yeah, that makes total sense to me. You know what I noticed? Probably like I had this realization like maybe 2023 maybe.

30:37I started, I had been on the internet a lot at that point and I had like posted a lot of videos of myself and a lot of pictures of myself. That was like Twitter era for you, right? No, that was post. Post Twitter era, but like really getting into TikTok and being on people's podcasts and stuff. And Twitter, I had weathered the whole Twitter era. I had like weathered people remarking on my body all the time. and that was so hard at first like people being so mean to me about my appearances and or even when they're not trying to be mean just when they're talking about my looks yeah and I really noticed like around like 2023 I would look at I would like see a picture of myself and I'd be like oh god I've x thing has happened to me I'll be like oh my god my hairline's pushed back or yuck my teeth are more crooked or gross my uh whatever whatever whatever I would I would think that something new had gone wrong with my appearance and then I would look back at a picture of myself from like 2018, 2019 before I was perceived that much on the internet.

31:30And it was always, that was just always how I looked. I always had a little bit of a pushback hairline. I always had a crooked tooth. You could never have, you're one of the best heads of hair in comedy. I love my hair, but it pushes back right here at the edges and that's totally fine. It's part of my hairline. Me too. But I noticed that I was like inventing, the more I was perceived and the more I was like weathering people's uh comments about my looks and just seeing my like literally seeing myself because when you post you when you edit a video of yourself the way that i used to you have to sit and look at yourself for so long it's really psychotic and yeah i just was like oh my god i'm i'm like learning to hate things about myself that i never even noticed before and then when what before you even have those thoughts when you look at those pictures in like 2019 you're like i remember seeing this photo of me and i felt like i looked incredible and like i posted it And then you look back, you're like, what?

32:20But you do, because it is, I don't know, being more front-facing is scary. Well, and I think it's a thing that we're all... Not even though I've been behind the camera. You're key gripping. You're key gripping and not telling us. You're moonlighting as a key grip. No, it's not even, I think, about necessarily being perceived on such a large scale. It really is, I think, cultural for all of us, the way that we take so many pictures and videos of ourselves and look at ourselves so constantly and think so much about appearance. it really is like yeah I think it's good to just step back and like really try to distance yourself from worrying so much about what you look like yeah it could get dark and it got dark for you not I think I just needed to I just needed to hang out with myself yeah a little more you know yeah and yeah that said no to like some things and trips or whatever I don't even know but I just I just am having a better time yeah minus those falls minus the falls today yeah but I got up I like that you're having a better time I like that you're having a better time and that you're spending time with yourself.

33:21Does it make you uncomfortable when I ask you earnest questions about that? No, I was uncomfortable because I was about to cry for some reason. That makes sense. You were sharing something pretty personal. Yeah. Yeah. But don't cry on my show. I never feel weird. I'm the most comfortable talking to you. Good. Don't cry on my show. Can you imagine? I'm like. Yeah, I can imagine. I really got into puzzling. I don't know if I'm going to have to take my own sewing machine. I really will be reporting back on that I can't wait to hear about the sewing Is there something in particular you're hoping to sew?

33:53So this class is a one on one Or one on one We make a tote bag There's so many tote bags everywhere But I really want to start doing some Design work on collars like this Oh yeah I don't know I just want to fiddle around I like being tactile With my hands and things like that I'm just stoked to get lost I want you to get lost in it. I want you to get lost in it. I'm loving that. And I also want to start making rugs. Rug tufting? Yeah. Fun. I thought about taking that class. Yeah, I'm very, very going to be doing that very much. I want to take a neon sign making class. Oh. I almost signed up for one last year, but I was going to be out of town.

34:35It's like six weeks. You have to commit. Yeah. This is my big issue with classes. You make a sweet one for this. I know. It would be so cool. I'd like to make a little. I want to make a really small one. Yes. I want to make one like literally like this big. Like really thin. To put right over on the set somewhere. That's so good. This is my problem with classes and with volunteering. There's so many classes I want to take and so many volunteering things I want to do that are like you have to commit to this time for eight weeks. Yeah. And I'm like I straight up cannot do that. You can't do it. I can't guarantee.

35:02What kind of volunteering? There's so many cool ones. I want something more. I mean this is the issue is I want something consistency based. Like I want, there's this one in my neighborhood in Brooklyn that I know about where you like go over, you take senior citizens, their groceries, like they send you a list and then you basically like task grab it for them for free. And then you go get their groceries and you bring their groceries over, put them away and talk with them for a while. And you're like their dedicated person. And I think that would be such a nice, like, yeah, it'd be a nice way to use my, my mobility and my body, but then also like get to chit chat and have a relationship.

35:36I'm looking for both. I want to volunteer in a way that's like, I don't just want to like build something by myself in a silo. I want to use my body to do stuff because I miss using my body at like tasks that matter. Yeah. And you're a strong man. I am. And I want to, but I also want to chit chat because I'm good at that and I like it. I like, I love that. And it can be very intimate. And you know, I was looking into volunteering recently and it's funny because I was like, I want to volunteer like at a nursing home or like, and I know those those aren't as like my Nana was in a nursing home for like 14 years and it was like you know we went we had we went every there's people there like every other day to hang out with her but I'm like there are so many people some of her like buddies there like who just never had a visitor so then we would obviously invite them over to our table and hang out but I'm just like oh some of those people like maybe they're the youngest in their family and they don't have like a niece or nephew or a friend's kid to go visit them and some of them are just so funny yeah they're really funny and they got jokes they are holding in you know there's something really funny about when you know you're gonna die soon and you don't have to care about what anyone else thinks anymore especially if you weren't like that throughout your life i've found like yeah there have been some older people in my life that like were really reserved their whole life and were very polite and like proper and then the second that they thought maybe they weren't gonna have to be doing this much longer.

36:57They're like, I got some. Fuck it. They're like, I've been holding on to some shit. And I love that era. That's fun. Yes. I'm trying to get there way earlier in life. Because your grandparents, do you have? I have my grandma and I have two grandmas. I have both grandmas and my grandpa. How lucky are you? You got three out of four. Yeah, I don't know about lucky. You should hang out with these people for a little bit. No, they're great. I love them. Are they all in Kansas City? Well, my two grandparents that live in Iowa are in Kansas City a lot because they get surgeries down there. Hell yeah.

37:29So they're down there staying with my mom a lot. And then my dad's mom, my other grandma, lives in like northern Missouri. But I see her maybe like two or three times a year. That's nice. Yeah. Or do any of them have like a, they're probably retired now, but do any of them have any cool jobs? Yeah. My grandma, my mom's side, was a nurse. And? And? Your mom. And my mom's a nurse. My grandpa worked on the railroad His whole life and then opened a business later in life That he still has Selling like scrubs and boots and stuff Basically he was like a bunch of people in town need stuff And they have to go somewhere else to get it So he opened like a general store And then my grandma on my dad's side Worked as like a clerk at the county courthouse So she knew Everybody's business So she was a Caleb if you will You'd be like I know Wendy from down the fall she lives on 283 4th street it's like well we all know exactly that you'd be like i'm going to david's house and she'd be like hope her mother's doing well david hasn't been on the porch you know he likes to go but he hasn't been on the porch in three weeks truly and it's like she knew everyone's stuff it was like a very small time oh that's kind of um those people hold a lot of power and are very trusted in the community which i think is a very cool thing

38:48like yeah anyway cool what job do you think you would have if you hadn't left ohio oh my god i was just talking about this with my brothers i think i would i think i would just be a blue collar like welder or something you think you'd be a welder yeah i like that idea of flame nice Molly Or like maybe I don't know Yeah no something like Dirty I think you could totally be a welder I wouldn't do underwater welding No that's not you That scares me I'm surprised your welder just I thought you were going to say that you'd still be working at the restaurant on the island Oh well I thought maybe you'd be like an old timer Like a fun person at the restaurant But I see welding for you in a big way Well maybe I wouldn't No I don't think you say that no I think my time on the island would have ended when it ended I go dark I go I go I think my time on the island had to end when it ended but well what the heck would you do if I was in Missouri yeah I don't know I think you'd be digging your grandma's spot at the clerk's office although I'd be the new clerk at the courthouse I'm a Nepo clerk Nepo clerk NBC Tuesday nights What would I be doing if I was in Missouri?

40:17If I never left my hometown There's only like four jobs I think I'd probably still be working at Applebee's Okay, how many pins would you have? How many at Flair? I had plenty before I left Were you ever on your Applebee's wall? Oh yeah, I'm still on the Applebee's wall to this day I think Me too Picture of me at prom Oh mine's not It's like an employee picture? Mine's lacrosse. Oh, of course. Yeah, remember I told you I used to be an athlete before today. I remember your lacrosse era when you went to all-girls high school and you had that van that you'd stick everybody in. God, your memory is filled.

40:47I listen to everything you say to me, Molly, and I never forget. Yeah, I used to take them all to Taco Bell before practice. Because I was the goalie. I didn't have to run. I go, this is on you. Yeah, y 'all do whatever you need to do. I can have bubble guts in the net. I'm good. Yeah. The bigger I get, the more blockade there is, you know? Yeah, of course. That's beautiful. Were you dating any of those girls? I was still in the closet. I was packed around a bunch of boxes. I was in the back. But I actually wouldn't have changed it. I feel like I came out just at the time that I was mature and mentally well enough to do it.

41:24Was this when you were at Dayton? Yeah, well, I was at the comedy studies program at Second City. So I was technically a junior in college. Yeah. You were like a skinny jeans and Vans lesbian there for a little bit. Oh, it was tough. I love those lesbians. If anybody has one of those photos, just blur my face. Actually, no. You can keep my face. Blur the pants. Just blur my bottom half. Put a blurred block so no one can see the dimensions. No, I liked it.

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45:13I remember one time you came to do my show in Chicago. At the aisle? Yeah, at the aisle. It was a small room, and the mic was broken. The mic was not working. We didn't realize until you walked out on stage. And I was so, a lot of our friends in the scene at that time didn't have like a stage presence really yet. Like they were just figuring things out and they were very like dependent on things going the way they needed to. I would say myself included, like if the mic didn't work, it would be like, well, you fucking need to figure out how to turn it on before I can do my set. And I remember you were just so like, you'd been doing it just a little bit longer.

45:45You'd been there like maybe a year longer or something. And you were just so in the pocket. And I remember I go, I go, Molly, I'm so sorry. The mic doesn't work. Like we're trying to fix it right now if you want to wait a second and you go I don't care and you walk out and you go I'm doing my set without a mic. Can everybody hear me? And everyone in the audience is like yeah. And you're like yeah. But anyway the other day I was at the grocery store. Grocery store you ever been? Like I was like Jesus Christ. I was so impressed. I was like who is this fucking dynamo screaming in the room right now?

46:13Isn't it fun? Like I was like very fearless back then. Now I'm like skittish and scared to go on stage. I mean, I love stand-up still, but I'm just like, which should be the opposite, right? I don't know about should be, but why do you think that is? I don't know. I'm working through that. But to work through that, I'm just kicking my ass on the stage no matter what, you know? Do you think it has anything to do with the pressure of expectation? 1 ,000%. Right. And I think I just love every comic that I'm able to work with, and everyone's so impressive and talented. that I think I, I don't know.

46:51Sometimes you play that comparison game where it's not like, I don't know. I just want to make my friends proud of me. We are. Thank you, buddy. We're very proud of you. I'm proud of you. We'd be proud of you if you were welding in Ohio. Hey, underwater. Underwater. Kidding. Kidding. No, I would never do it. It's funny. I was talking to a friend the other day. I won't say their name just in case they didn't want this out there, but one of our friends. and we were talking about, well, first of all, you also, I'm sure you don't want to talk about this, but you also went through an experience for multiple years working at a place that is intentionally designed to make you doubt how great you are.

47:28And that's my perspective of it. But then I was talking to a friend about expectation and how easy and fun it is to go in and kill when nobody expects anything of you, when you're underestimated, when you aren't known as the funniest person in the room and you're not expected to come in and kill. but then when you get to a place in your career if you're lucky enough to get to this place which you have been that when people are like this person's a killer they're very funny they they don't even need the script to be good you bring them in and they're gonna make it happen yeah when that's the expectation of you and it just doesn't even have to be about comedy or acting or anything I think all of us when we have a role in life where we were at one point uh underestimated and we got to show up and surprise people when it changes to expectation all of a sudden it gets way fucking harder.

48:13That is a nail on the head, sir. You know? Yeah, I would never have been able to put that into words. The pressure is so heavy then because you're like, oh, well, when nobody expected anything of me, I could just blow past it and exceed it without you. Yeah, you're just like, I'm just going to. Go for it. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, and now I'm like. Which is so strange. And I feel like it's just a phase and it's something I'll grow out of and like work past. but it's just interesting to say it out loud. I think, yeah, you'll definitely work out of it. It's a lot of work, but you'll work out of it. Yeah.

48:45I'm still having fun. It's just like maybe like a couple minutes before I go on stage, I'm like, and then I get on there, I'm like, I'm having fun. It's like riding a bike. You ever get like that before you go on stage sometimes when you're maybe not feeling it that day or like, or you're just always. Molly, I'm almost never feeling it. Oh, that makes me sad. I'm not, I'm never, but I, and I don't say this. I yeah I'm I'm never doubting that I'm gonna do well I'm just never feeling it like I don't really wanna I have a very complicated relationship with attention and I'm never I'm always a little like god I would give anything to just be hanging out tonight and then I have to work myself up and talk about I have to like talk to myself about like all these people came to see you you have a job to do you owe them a good show and I get myself there but I would say I mean Chance has been with me before shows a million times I'm almost every time like fuck I don't know how I'm gonna get it up tonight.

49:35Because you technically are turning, you gotta turn it on. It's just the little game of the game. And sometimes that switch is rusty and stuck. Yeah, you have to be stage Caleb or stage Molly now, and it's like, that's a different, I can't just go up and be whoever I want to be. I have to be who people came to see. Yeah. Which is great. It's a huge privilege. I love being the guy that people came to see. I like him. I think he's so much fun. I love him. I love him. I love him. He's so much fun. But it's, yeah. I also love this one, too. This guy over here? Yeah. Are you a Mets fan? Come again?

50:05Are you a New York Mets fan? Or just Fashion King? Because I do the same thing. This is just a really cute vintage hat. I love the hat. Let me tell you. I just didn't know if something changed. The people I talk to around New York, they really want to get involved about this. Yeah, yeah. One way or another. One of the door guys in my building, I walked in the other night at like 2 in the morning. And he was sitting there like, you know, kind of half asleep at the desk. And I walk in and he goes, get out. You can't come in here wearing that. and I was like what and he was like your hat get out of here you woke him up out of like a full his hatred of the Mets like woke him from a stupor to be mean to me and then I really got caught I don't watch baseball I don't give a fuck about baseball I hate baseball I think it sucks and I got caught talking to him about baseball for 45 minutes I was inching every I would take a step away from the desk for 20 minutes I was polite and really locked in and I'd be like, yeah, well, you know, I hope the Yankees do well.

51:01I'd start to turn. He'd go, well, I'll tell you, they're not going to. I'd get sucked back in. Your inner monologue was like, get out, get out, get out, get out. I wanted to go to bed so bad. Respectfully. But I had to, like, walk in because that's my boy. I mean, Mets aside, your fashion hat game has always been one of my favorites. I think you were saying that. Exhibit A, the back wall. You know, we got some good ones back there. This, this, uh, they, that's why they call it fishing, not catching one. I wore the hell out of that one. I know you did because I was like, you want to trade hats?

51:24And you're like, no. And I go, totally. Totally. I'm like, it still looks mint-conditioned. Oh, it's new. We got a... Oh, okay. These are all... I've never worn any of these. These were all bought to be on the set. But that fishing, not catching, I wore the hell out of that. We got a Broski Report hat. I love that one, too. We got a Waxahachie hat. Yes. We got all kinds of stuff. We got Beth Stellings frame socks back there. I just... I have a pair of those, and I was like, Beth. Women's stand-up comedy. Shout out Beth Stellings. Also, I just have to say, because I don't think we've talked about it on the show yet.

51:49I'm just going to say rise up to the set design here, bud. Katie Birmingham. Katie Birmingham. Let me, I hope someone clip this and send it to Katie when this episode comes out. Thanks, Katie. Katie Birmingham is a fucking genius. She did my HBO special. She did Sorry Baby, Ava Victor's movie, which is phenomenal if people haven't seen it. Ava's so great. Katie, Katie Birmingham designed the hell out of this set. And when I tell you I gave her the loosest, like, yeah, I think maybe it's blue and cluttered. I was going to say I love the, I just, I don't know, even down to the color scheme it's really cool she made this fire this is amazing she she hand tiled that like katie birmingham is an absolute genius she hand tiled that yeah well yeah she like put the the things on because the thing was originally just and nicole helped a lot nicole nicole helped a lot and michelle and chance helped a lot too you guys all did so good sorry it was obviously katie was kind of thinking of it but you guys helped a lot too everybody to the team everybody did a really good job and the people and the team at wave as well was over here doing it.

52:44Actually, I met someone at a dinner the other night that were like, this is so... I was at dinner the other night and this woman was like, this is so funny, you don't know this, but I was actually helping out with your podcast studio, but I wasn't in town, so they were doing it while I was gone. And I was like, oh my God. And then we got to talk for a little while. And that's what we... Yeah, this is like my most favorite set I've ever been on. Mine too. It really is cozy. Mine too. I love it so much. It feels so much like the show. And the big running joke about So True during the whole show has been our set changing every week and it'll still change sometimes because I will have to travel.

53:16But I really feel so happy that we finally have, we just hit the two-year anniversary of the show and we finally have a set. Has it already been two years? I know. How many episodes? Sorry to talk about. A hundred something now. Holy moly. Brittany was a hundred, so 103, four. Like 107, I think. Yeah. It's funny you have that reaction because you were there at the beginning. Most people who weren't there at the beginning, they go, it's only been two years. They think we've been doing this for five, six years. Dang. Yeah, I know. I'm like, last time I was on here, you were at the, well, it doesn't matter.

53:47The true homies know. Yeah. I was actually with Zoe Lister-Jones the other day, and I remember when I was concepting. Love her. She's the best. Sorry, I just had a delayed reaction. She's a guest star. On DMV? Yeah. Oh, my God. We were in Amsterdam when I was thinking about doing, I was like, yeah, I think maybe when I get back to the States, I'm talking to my buddy Chance. I think maybe we're going to like, I have this idea for a YouTube show, and I think maybe I'm going to ask him to help me with it. and I think I want to do like a YouTube show. I think I want to like find some way to like take things into my own hands.

54:15And she was like, what would it even look like? How would it make money? And I was like, it won't for a while. And like, I don't know, I'm going to lose money on it, but I think it's a good idea. And we were just the other day, I was in LA last week, and we were talking about how crazy that is to like have an idea, go do it, have it really work out, and then have it be like a truly like foundational part of my life. You like executed it, y 'all. It's fun as an artist. Like anytime you have an idea and then it actually happens, You're like, wow, we actually made something. And it's low stakes because you're just being yourself.

54:43And I wish that was true. I'm faking every word on here. So your grandma wasn't a clerk? No. Everything I've ever said on here is a lie. I'm not even gay or fat. I'm skinny and straight. Molly falls for a third time. That's a Jesus Christ tag. Molly falls for a third time. Put it on there. Molly can't quit falling. Molly the faller. More like Folly. More like Folly. No. Hold on. More like folly.

55:14He knows what the kid wants. That kind of scared me. Yeah. He's a scary guy if you let him. I'm like, I think he's getting close from me. Yeah, I know. He always is. He's always inching in. I'm like, is that Daskan wheels? What the hell? What the hell? So, 2026.

55:35Is it my? You lead. No, no. I liked where you were going. Please dance. I'm dancing, but I liked where you were going. Lead me. Push me a little bit. Well, I was going to say, because you used to be a crafter. I don't know if you still do, and I don't want to out you, but you used to do collaging. I still do a little bit. Cool. Sometimes. I haven't made one in a second. When I moved my houses, my setup was in Kansas City. Yeah, I was very impressed by your collages. I really was. I like doing it. I've never shared any of them. I think most of my crafts are private secrets for me. Not that we can't mention them, but my collages, I've written a lot of songs and poems, and they're all just kind of for Caleb.

56:16I love that, and I think that's very special, and I think that's very important to not always, it can be yours, you know? Yeah. And like mine, if you want to give me one of your collages. It can be yours, but also mine. And wait, the Kevin Warby video with you on the bike. Can I talk about that? Yeah. Okay, was it a four-wheeler or a moped? It was a four-wheeler. God, I love a four-wheeler. I know, isn't it fun? Oh my God, I love a four-wheeler. I crashed a four-wheeler off a bridge when I was like 12 years old. Were you alone on it or did you have somebody on the back? I was alone. I was alone.

56:49And bridges, it was like a, it was, you know how when you're like, if you're out on a farm and there's like a big like brush ditch or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like just a huge ditch that you need to get over. You don't see it. And you, well, we had, I was on a family friend's property and they had a big brush ditch where they would put a discarded brush. And they had two boards over it that you could drive over. But they're just about as wide as the tires on the four-wheeler. And I just misshot it and tried to go too fast like a 12-year-old. Took it off into the brush dish, four-wheeler on top of me.

57:22Didn't break anything somehow, but had so many... Do you know you could have easily died from that? People do. I know. Scrapes, bruises. I was all fucked up. And I just had to lay in there until someone came and found me. Oh, Kayla. Baby Kayla. It was really scary. I have your baby photo from your like when you're first I have your poster baby photo on my fridge. I noticed that and if I pee with the door open at my apartment I can see you. Yeah That's really special. I think in some ways. Yeah, I think I gotta move that

57:57He's gotta be in the bathroom with me yeah it's a really cute picture sorry I had to yeah I stole it from the wall at some Union Hall or Bell House or something yeah I think Bell House remember my before I moved to New York my era where I was doing a Bell House show every month and throwing a party afterwards yes and it was the most fun ever yeah that was before you lived here oh yeah because you were just like you're like yeah back in New York I'm like were you here you were just here two days ago I was coming every month and being like god I wish I could live here I'm like hey hon you can very much so that was a fun era though I really enjoyed that those shows were goofy and loose and awesome and you were kind of like crafting the beginning of your the beginning of your special right?

58:44no by that point I was pretty or did you already record it? no I hadn't recorded the special but I had the hour it took a long time to sell the hour because the hour was done before I started the podcast and no one really wanted it Like it was already filmed and everything. Not filmed. We had filmed a test version of it. We hadn't filmed like the version, but basically we took it everywhere and everyone was like, call us when you have some more followers. Who do I got to fight? Well, I got a very specific list of names for you if you're interested. And trust I won't be forgetting them. Yeah, and you know what?

59:15They're going to never forget you either because they messed up. It's just such a funny thing that we're in now where you have to take the audience to the network. like it used to be like you the whole point of wanting to do something with a network was they had an audience for you yeah and now they only want you if you can bring them an audience that's what you were in wally were talking about really funny was that her so true about how like they like broadway that was just interesting we don't need to repeat what the podcast what the episode was but anyway no let's talk about what wally and i talked about let's see we did you start telling me about snakes wally and the fucking snakes dude yeah i very interesting very interesting.

59:52I wouldn't touch sneak with a 10 inch pole. 10 inch pole? What does the Grinch say? 10 foot. 10 inches is way funnier though. I wouldn't touch that with a 10 inch pole. It's like you're kind of scared of something. But with an 11 inch pole I'd get in there. Stick not stick. Magician stick. No it's a magician. Come on it's a magician stick. A wizard has a wand. A magician has a wand. Okay. Okay. Just let's get to the bottom of that quickly. It's like the wizard, a wizard has a pointy one and a magician has a little white tip at the front. That is correct. What is that about? Uh, I don't know. I think you'd be a really good.

1:00:35I think like, I think you like kind of like night owl as like a little magician and you go around and you take your glasses off and you put on a long wig and you're like around New York city doing magic at like, and like playing like Dungeons and Dragons and stuff. You think I have a magician's energy? Yeah, sometimes.

1:00:58Well, guess what kind of energy I think you have? Guess what kind of energy I think you have? Being a bitch. Molly, I don't think I've ever seen you be a bitch in my life. Never, not once. I remember when you had a guest room in New York the way that you had some wayward comedian, usually me, staying with you every fucking day of the week. It was like a B &B, but I was just like, okay, what does everyone need? What does everyone need? No, but that was great. I got rid of my guest room for that reason. Yeah, I think I told you when I heard you were getting a two-bedroom, I was like, don't. Don't.

1:01:31Save yourself. Save yourself. Save yourself. Don't. Do not get a guest room in New York. You will only pay a price. Or just make the landlord change it online that it's one-bedroom because don't tell anyone. Sorry, there's so many boxes in there. You're not going to be able to stay in there. No, no, no, no. I can't. I can't. My mother's stuff is in there. I can't. Oh, it's my mother's. It's a replica. My mother's things are in there. For my birthday party this year, I had five people staying with me. I'm so sad I missed your birthday for a year, two in a row. It was fucked up. I know. You need to mark for next year.

1:02:02I dressed up, though. Did you? I just had a little. I put on a little costume. Did you? Yeah, in your spirit. Are you lying to me? Yeah. You need to mark your calendar for next year. I will because I feel like I was being disrespected by not being in town. What are you listening to right now? Or watching or reading? What are you getting into? What's informing Molly's mind right now? Well, I just got a Kindle. Yeah? Because I've been really on my reading game. And I think being able to read books and enjoying books is a privilege because I am less like I'm not working in a restaurant where I'm hustling and exhausted all the time.

1:02:38I have time to read. and I think it's a privileged thing to sit on reading. Or like watching TV. What are you watching? Everything. No, what am I reading? I'm on Goodreads, shout out. Shout out. One of the worst run apps of all time is that app. Yeah, it's run like a website from 1989. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like when we just got websites. But I keep crawling back to it and reading my little reviews. It honestly speaks to them that it's lasted this long and no one's kind of bested them. Somebody's going to come along and do like a letterbox for books and it's going to be over for Goodreads. Oh, and it's going to sweep Goodreads.

1:03:15I don't mean it, but the app sucks. TV-wise, what am I watching for TV? What am I watching for TV? I just watched Task with Mark Ruffalo. Nice. What's it about? It is about FBI, some people who steal some drugs. It's really good. It's not one of those normal shows. It's crazy. Kept me on the edge of my seat. What are you watching? A while back, I watched the, was it called Fit for TV? The Biggest Loser documentary. Oh, that was wild. Oh, that shit was good. Oh, my God. I was like, oh. Oh, that shit was good. They weren't eating anything. They weren't eating anything, and they were exercising so much.

1:03:55And it was crazy. They're like selling products. They're like, get your Biggest Loser water bottles. It was really, really insane. People were fainting on treadmills and shit. and they're screaming at him on cocaine it really yeah they're all on speed that was that's what you're saying there's like a doctor who's like it's good that you're losing 10 pounds a day yeah it was fucking crazy I loved watching that one all 12 of us split English muffin and Diane took a little bit too big of a bite yeah and then we had to do our 12 hours on the treadmill yeah it was really crazy yeah that was wild that was wild I really only watch like documentaries and movies I just re-watched Lars and the Real Girl Oh I want to watch Have you ever seen it?

1:04:37Ryan Gosling I think I saw it when I was like first I need to re-watch it What is it about? Is he in love with a doll? It's so much more than that Okay Yes of course that's the central premise Okay I want to say something about Lars and the Real Girl The way the town treated that young man Was beautiful and special and the way they treated Bianca his doll Sweet Baby B was really beautiful and special as well and I want to say Lars I am happy that Lars got over the thing with the doll. She died in the lake. Like she got popped? No, she died from I mean like physically popped. Was she a blow up?

1:05:22No, she was sick. Yes, I think she was a blow up doll. I can't really remember. She was a A life-size human doll with the correct anatomy. And you probably had to drag her around. He didn't sleep with her. Well, she was bound to a wheelchair. She was wheelchair bound because she was sick. And then she was sick and she ultimately succumbed to her illness and she died. In the pond? She died by the pond and then he put her in the pond, I think, to try to bring her back. Now, she lived a beautiful life and she was loved so beautifully by him right up until the end. Lars and the real girl I like that the town Indulged his delusions I think if the town wanted to indulge My delusions I would really love that I'm not planning on being in love with a sex doll That's not my story that was never going to be part of my story Thank god But I do think it's sweet to let someone be crazy And just love them right through it Well 100 % like when people get Dementia and things and they're like I'm looking for my husband Joe And we're like Joe's coming back in a little bit But Joe's a sex doll He put her in conservative clothing He dressed her up I had some fierce looks She got bangs, Bianca, in the movie Did he give her bangs?

1:06:34A local hairstylist gave her bangs No, Caleb, I gotta go home and watch this movie right now And she looked fierce And Ryan Gosling acts his gosh darn heart out in this film It is a beautiful film And the soundtrack is incredible Okay, I know you love a good soundtrack I love a good soundtrack I thought it was a beautiful film I've seen it a couple times But I re-watched it and yeah, I just have to shout out Lars and the Real Girl. I love that movie. Are you going to cry? No. No, I'm not emotional. I cried when I rewatched it. Yeah, yeah. And that other movie with the other... Her? Her. I haven't seen that one either.

1:07:09That I do not find sweet. No. There's something about that that I find very upsetting. A bit dark? Yeah, I don't like that he talked to the computer like that. And this is not the same, but this is in a similar vein. Ted the stuffed animal that talks yeah is that similar to I'm gonna say I'm gonna say no for me vote in the comments do you think that Ted do you think that the Seth McFarlane film Ted is like Lars and the real girl or her girl Lars and the real girl her her girl they should have called her girl girl but yeah you know in a way that is a talking animal in a way you guys vote in the comments yeah let us know do you think that Ted is like Lars and the real girl or her or both are they all you know what sure I don't I don't care not a bother to me it doesn't fucking matter to me that's fine it's not a bother that's fine Ted is like Lars and the real girl.

1:08:20I don't care anymore. I don't care about stuff like that anymore. I'm a grown-up. I'm just trying to put childish things away. Finally, he lets me win. Do you feel like a grown-up? No. No? Well, when I talk to my accountant. Doesn't it feel like they're the grown-up? You have to hire someone to be the grown-up? Do you feel like a grown-up? Oh, since the day I was born. Actually, yeah, that makes sense to me. Yeah. I feel like if anything In a way you've been raising me this whole time That's really beautiful Usually because I'm older and I'm bigger You're certainly not bigger I am in my wisdom Yeah that's true And my wisdom is where my heart is I am in my wisdom No I've learned a lot from you Molly You know I'll put that in the comments too Molly I've learned a lot from you Me too you buddy What'd you say?

1:09:13Yeah whatever

1:09:17me too you buddy you buddy me too you buddy my buddy i think the last time you came on the show i read off some of the sketch ideas that we wrote for each other at that japanese i still think they would win i still think we would be incredible as a sketch duo and man we could barely pay for that meal yeah but now we could you could pay for me to get japanese sometime really absolutely truly i'd be honored do you wait i wanted to talk more about you feeling like a grown-up or not feeling like a grown-up no you don't feel like a grown-up I feel the day I feel like a grown-up is the day that I give away my whimsy when did you do that when did you do that I'm not gonna say that I'm an adult because then I would give away my whimsy oh I thought you were saying that day had come and passed you're like there's a day I gave away my whimsy and that's when I became an adult and Molly it was one of the most harrowing things I've heard on this podcast to date.

1:10:11Like, why be an adult when I can be a mature young person? Mature young person. Yeah. Like a pretty young thing. Yeah, PYT. Exactly. Pretty young thing. I want to love you. Hey. Come on. Yeah, give it the head bump. You got a real mobile neck. Thank you. You really, you get that head going. Well, I cracked it when I fell today and it like readjusted itself. Molly, you want to play a game? I love, I would love to. I've been wanting to redeem myself because there were some people who were saying that I went a little crazy but I'm going to win and by people I mean you you went a little crazy but you're going to win let me adjust Molly I'm going to read you 15 you're moving the chair so much I'm going to read you 15 statements you're going to tell me if what I just said was true or false if you get 10 or more correct Molly I think you know that you're going to win 50 US dollars.

1:11:09You ready? Yeah. Quick as you can. Avocados are a fruit. True. True. A shrimp's heart is located in its head. False. True. The current mayor of Cleveland, Ohio is Steve Ponce. False. False. Justin Bibb. X is the least used letter in the English alphabet. False. False. It's Z. Columbia is the largest exporter of coffee in the world. False. False. It's Brazil. Anteaters have no teeth. True. True. There's a Taco Bell in Vatican City. True. False. Leap years happen every four years. Say it one more time. appears happen every four years. Yes true true. The student newspaper at the University of Dayton is the flyer news true true.

1:11:43Jolly ranchers are older than Tom Hanks true. California is the largest U. S. State by landmass false. It's Alaska. Your nose and ears never stop growing true. True Ohio State anthem is the Ohio Waltz Jane again. Ohio State anthem is the Ohio Waltz false. It's beautiful Ohio cucumbers are 95 percent water true true. Steven Spielberg was born in Cincinnati true. True. How'd they do? 12!

1:12:11Who? Who? Who? Who? Who? Oh my gosh! Molly! Molly! Molly! Oh my god! Who was the last person to win? Who was the last person to win? I don't know who won last. How many did I just get? 12 of 15. Are you going to play the national anthem?

1:12:38That's the national anthem I just got lightheaded from my play taps

1:12:48Well I'm sorry about being so immature right there but that was No that was beautiful Molly I love how much you locked in. Thank you brother. Thank you so much He's fine He's fine Is there anything you want to tell the people before you go Oh, my God. I am on a new show. Well, we're halfway through called DMV. It's on CBS. Shout out. And my name is Barbara Jason Barry in the show. I'm the manager of the DMV. And there's an amazing cast. And it's a comfy show where you have a nice time. That's beautiful. You want to tell people where they can find you? You can find me on Instagram, meetbrickmolly.

1:13:26And follow me around. Love you, buddy. Love you so much, everybody. and you specifically. Thanks for coming on. Thank you for having me. Come on, brother. Oh, yeah. Talk to me. Talk to me. For a limited time, you can get a Big Mac meal for just$8. That's a burger, fries, and a drink. They don't call it an extra value meal for nothing. Get a Big Mac meal only at McDonald's. Price and participation may vary. Promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing. Get business done with the new American Express Graphite Business Cash Unlimited card with unlimited 2 % cash back on all eligible purchases.

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