Stavros Halkias Returns

25:11Did you double the bread in the head this year, would you say? Doubling has gotten tough. It's been, when you have a couple good years, doubling is a lot. Doubles a lot. You know that thing where they're like, you want a billion dollars now or a penny times two every day or whatever the fuck? You know what I'm saying. The people at home will know what I'm saying. It's a thought experiment to show people the power of compounding things, of doubling things. So that's why I'm saying doubling. Maybe I've lost. I probably didn't double this year. But more bread, more head. More bread, more head. Yeah, maybe just more bread, more head is what it needs to be to evolve.

25:48Or just bread and head in moderation. Wouldn't that be sweet? Yeah, let them get head, Marie Antoinette. Is there anything there you think? There is. Okay. I think for sure. I think for sure. I found a TikTok account on accident of a girl who her entire account is her, like, walking around and restating, like, classic, like, moral dilemmas. And she's like, so, a train is going down a track. If you do nothing, it'll hit five people. If you switch it, it'll hit one. What are you doing? Sound off in the comments. And people are in the comments, like, debating, like, this age-old moral question. Yes, the trolley problem.

26:27This is fucking psychotic. Yeah. That's your content? Yeah. And that people are going for it? Honestly, good for her. She found a nice little niche. It's getting conversation started. Yeah. We're starting philosophy again in that lady's TikTok comments. We are. The salon, the Parisian salon. It's not going well. Yeah. In the comments. It's not the kind of heightened debate that you imagine originally came out of that problem. Sure, sure, sure. You got to pull the lever, right? Let's talk trolley problem. You want to do trolley problem? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It randomly comes up on the show a lot. So when I do your show, we're talking about like what's the perfect size of titty or whatever.

27:10Is it hand cupping up, boys? Let's take it all. Great question. And then on my show, we're talking about why you struggle with intimacy and what we would do in the trolley problem. I would pull. You pull the lever. Sorry to that guy. Yeah, you pull the lever. You pull the lever. Easy. Done and done. There's no question that you pull the lever. To me, anybody who says don't pull the lever is a psychopath. If you have a gun, maybe you shoot the guy in the head because it's probably easier to die by gunshot than being run over by a train. Yeah, I guess. You pull the lever and you shoot the guy in the head.

27:40That's the humane thing to do because it's probably less painful to die that way. You're adding a thing that doesn't need to be added. If you had the choice between being run over by a fucking train and getting shot in the head real fast, which would you choose? I think probably run over by the train. Really? Don't you think it would be just as quick? No, maybe it's no. I think it would hurt a lot. Ew, you think it would hurt? Yeah, I think it would hurt. I think it'd be quick. I don't think so. I think you're being very naive here. You think? I think it's time to shoot. Especially if you're not expecting getting shot in the head.

28:10Yeah. If I'm like, all right, man, sorry, I'm going to just fucking pull the thing, and then real quick, pop. As you're bracing yourself to get run over, you just get the sweet relief of a gun to the head. Yeah. Of a bullet to the back of your skull. Well, can I improve your idea? Sure. That you don't say, hey man, sorry. I think you say to the guy alone on the track, you go, hey, I'm not going to pull the lever. I'm going to let it hit those other people. And he goes, oof. Then you shoot him in the head. Then you shoot him in the head and then you pull. What if you're like, what if in the excitement of shooting him in the head you forget to pull the lever?

28:38Now you've shot the guy and those four people are also dead. Then you're going to run over real quick and shoot all of them in the head. You're like, sorry guys, no time to pull the lever.

28:48It's better. It's better this way.

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30:50Have you heard that McDonald's spicy chicken McNuggets made with spicy tempura and a blend of aged cayenne are back? Remember to grab a few extra napkins for a limited time at participating McDonald's. Have you ever stolen anything? Yes, certainly. I did a little shoplifting. For years I would help myself to The hot bar at my grocery store As I was shopping I had a lot of fried catfish On the giant on 33rd In Baltimore Just would fill up a tin of fried catfish And just snack as I'm shopping Throw it away Eventually they got rid of the trash cans And I had to just hide the thing somewhere I would hide my trash But that's classic I would have lunch and dessert I would take some kind of kind bar or something.

31:47And then I shoplifted a couple T-shirts by accident. Like, you know when you walk out of a store? Like, I was just holding it, and I absentmindedly, like, walked out of a store and nothing buzzed. And I was like, am I going back? Am I going to go ask to pay? Yeah, exactly. So a little bit of that. I only survived Chicago for a number of months by stealing from the Whole Foods Hot Bar. Yeah. And it's not even like, oh, I'd, like, nibble on a bag of grapes while I shopped, it's like I would walk in, walk in, take a whole box of food, fill it as full as I could, and then go over to the, I would buy like a fucking protein bar or something that was like three bucks, put the thing on the thing as like a pre-mixed salad or something.

32:29Like I would technically still pay like four bucks, but it was like$25 worth of hot bar food, and that's just how I survived for a while. I love that, man. Also, I would steal from, I stole a lot of lamps and like bigger furniture items from stores by putting it on the bottom of the cart and then just not checking it out and only one time did they ever say anything like i'd be like oh it was all yeah i was on the bottom yeah but every other time i stole it and got away with it i love that i used to love stealing it's fun to steal oh my god it's a blast yeah i never stole from a small business smart i never stole from a small business yep yep i only stole from the big guys what if it was a real piece of shit small business i would i just never met one yeah yeah yeah i never met a piece of shit small business that i also could steal from right right right because i'm thinking of like like greek like uh carry out like the people that would have small restaurants yeah so like listen i get we shouldn't if you choose between big business small business steal from a big business but some small business owners are pieces of shit too steal they just they would be amazon they're just too stupid you know what i mean like they would love to fucking to exploit their workers they just don't know how to do it that much you're stealing from small businesses no i don't actually but i actually got served a instagram post recently of some small asian woman standing next to you and going we love it when stavi comes in oh hell yeah that's my yeah that's my god there's the vietnamese spot right by my house in baltimore oh yeah i'm there a lot she was i looked back and she like she had posted you a lot i'm there every time i get a bowl of pho it the cost is a picture uh a picture that goes on the instagram yeah which is fine yeah shout out to them i love it i you know i actually have to fight her to pay yeah she won't let me pay and now her and my mom are friends it's really cute i'm not getting treated like that in kansas city no no i mean people are very nice but you know what the nicest thing someone's done for me in kansas city what's that recently i was at a bar i was reading a book at a bar that i like and the bartender very clearly was a fan.

34:31She didn't say a word. She brought me the drink that I asked for. It was a CBD drink or THC drink that she like mixed into like some kind of cocktail. Whatever. Yeah. Brought it over. It was delicious. That business is not going to last by the way. What's that? CBD cocktail is not going to last. No. No. That bar is already shuttered. That won't work. They're closing soon. They've already started doing theme nights. It's like our business is failing. It's like screaming out of the place. No, but I love the place. And three very drunk girls came in and were bothering me a lot. Like coming over and like touching me and like taking pictures without asking, taking videos of me from across the bar.

35:08I hate that. And they tried, their next move was they tried sending a bunch of drinks to me. And the bartender, the bartender goes, hey, how about we just let him have a nice night, huh? Yeah. And like turned them off of me. That's awesome. It was one of the coolest and nicest things anyone has ever done for me. Yeah. But I'm not getting free pho. No free pho. I'm not kidding. When I go to the fub place, they are straight up kind of mean to me. Like, I went recently and ordered. I sat at a table. I was reading my book. I was alone. And I ordered at the fub place in my neighborhood that I love.

35:35I go, I sit, I order, and I'm sitting at a table inside, right? She brings it all over to go. She brings it all over to go. And I was not, there was a bunch of people in there. Yeah. Did they bring you water? No. I go, can I get a water and some bowls? I'm going to eat this here. And she goes, and then like went and got it. Well, I will say that's a lot of real estate for one guy. It was a two-person table stuff. Oh, okay. All right. I tip big. I know. And they're wrong, right? They're wrong. But I have also gotten fat, like, I have gotten that kind of fat discrimination when it's like a tight spot, and they're like, that's a four top.

36:13Yeah. There's a different group comes in. That's four mouths to feed. We could put eight skinny people there. Yeah, they're like, it probably will be close, but I'll take my, you know. Those eight skinny people would not eat as much as I'm going to. Probably not, but they might get cocktails. They will. You know? Real cocktails. Yeah, and that's where you make your money. Yeah. But you didn't deserve that. And I think if anything, if the fat man can't be respected at an eatery, where can we be treated like kings? Where do we have left to go? Yeah, yeah. Let my people go. DXL, of course. Oh, my God.

36:42I mean, we've talked about it. DXL, it's a special place. I love it, man. Do you know what I'm loving lately? What's that? The Gap. They're making good sweaters over there Really? People are scared to talk about this Yeah, and it's about time The Gap is making good sweaters You know, I think I missed I was so used to no one having fat sizes That I've just been cloistered at DXL for seven years now And I've emerged seeing that The one thing about capitalism is like Alright, they're realizing everyone's fat as shit in America Yeah. So now the Gap does have fat boy sweaters. The Land's End, you know, you can get a 3X, 4XL at these places.

37:24Yeah. So I have to dip back out, see what else is out there. You know what I would like? What's that? If you gave me a couple hundred bucks and just let me shop for you. I would love that too. Let me get you in an outfit. You really are the diagram of gay and fat and stylish. Very. It's like you might be the guy. It's not much of us. It's not many of us. Because I did hire, I did, I hired a gay guy to basically go shopping for me and it changed my life. Really? Yeah. I got a stylist for like, uh, you know, uh, just, they provided a stylist for the, uh, I did Seth Meyers and hilariously the, the, um, focus features was like, yo, we'll get you a stylist.

38:06So I was like, that's so funny. Absolutely. All right. Yeah. Hell yeah. And yeah, it was awesome. It was just like a guy who had taste and knew about clothing brands I had never heard of. Yeah. Told me about, you know, now I'm wearing my jeans higher. Yes. You know? That's one thing. Yes. That's been a big change. Getting my fucking pants up here. Putting the silhouette better. Put them up there. Lengthen those legs, baby. Yeah. Does lengthen the legs. Lengthen those legs. I'm feeling very powerful. I want to dress you. I would love that. For at least one event. Yeah, I would love that. I want to style you for at least one event.

38:41I want to. We should both dress each other. Yes. You know what I mean? You're coming in the fucking track suit. I'm going to get you the right track suit. I'll be in a track suit. I would love that. That would be awesome. I had a blast doing Seth Meyers, by the way. I really like him. He's the man. He's awesome. He was so funny. And it was like, he sets you up. It doesn't feel like a weird show. Yeah. I've never done any of that. I've talked for thousands of hours, but we just have never. We skipped all that shit. Yeah. So it was nice to do that show. And he's very funny. He's very funny and nice and hospitable.

39:14You and I went on right next to each other, back to back. We were on very close. It was the first time I'd done a late night show too. And watching some clips from your interview, I felt the same way that I felt seeing myself there. That I was like, it's kind of funny they have to do this. Totally. Absolutely. It's kind of funny they have to have us on. But he actually seems pumped to have comedians on. I think so. You know what I mean? I don't know. I haven't done any other shows. but it's like he there was like a glee i also know what it's like when i do a bunch of fucking podcasts and i'm like oh when i just have certain people that i know are just gonna riff i'm like we're on autopilot it must be not like it must be so much easier to talk to us than like somebody on a fucking cw show you watch these fucking interviews and you're like all these late night interviews the celebrity the celebrities weren't very good at being celebrities there's some celebs that are just born for this shit absolutely and then there are celebrities where you're like they're like they're like yes i'm very excited about the project yeah and it's like whoa yeah this is painful and then and they have like a couple vetted things you're like my dog loves cookies and that's like the punch line you know what i mean like i was in the airport and someone thought i was julia roberts of course i'm not it's like fucking jesus christ who wrote these stories for you yeah yeah it's such a nightmare Yeah.

40:36Yeah. Well, I'm ready to go. I got bits, baby. You do. I'm coming. Whenever you want, I'm back. You do have bits. Go in there with bits. He should have us on there together. That would be great. He should have us on there together. I would love that. My thing is I don't ever want to go on a late night show without a gag. I did a little gag for Seth. I brought him some leftover food as like a bit. Love that. I want to be, I'd like to go on in full costume sometime. Yeah, sure, sure. Every time you see me on a late night show, I would like it to be like. Meg Stalter's great about that. Meg Stalter's great at late night appearances.

41:04She's so fucking funny at that. is I think we all are, I think our goal, whether it's just by riffing or if it's like some silly gag or whatever, our goal as like our generation of comedians needs to be to make this shit fun again. Yeah. Yeah. Cause it's lost the, the, yeah, absolutely. Well, it used to, there used to be no podcast and that was a good fuck. Like the Johnny Carter show was good when it was like Burt Reynolds, just like, or, or just somebody saying inappropriate shit. You know what I mean? Like just fucking talking, talking wild shit. Yeah. Or like clips will come up and it's like someone just doing bar jokes.

41:37It's just like they're just saying fucked up. It's just so funny that that was on TV and it's being a good time. But it's like, yeah, for the next eight months where late night shows exist, let's make them fun. The end of the era. Yeah. Let's make them a good time. Absolutely. What was I thinking of when you were saying that? Going on and doing bar jokes. Oh, well, you know, the Quentin Tarantino thing that he's going after Paul Dano. Bizarre. Bizarre, but guess what? And by the way, I love Paul Dano. I kind of love it. I'm like, let's bring back public beef. It was exciting. I agree with you.

42:08People took sides, and I'm on Paul Dano's side, but I'm like, I think this is nice. It's fun. This is juicy and good. I agree with you. And people that never knew that Quentin Tarantino's a foot freak are learning that now. Didn't know that. It's like fun. You didn't know that? Who didn't know that? Oh, right. Like young people on the internet. Really? And I'm like, this is exciting. Yes, that is true. Everyone's lore gets drug into it. It's a bizarre take, too. Paul Dano's incredible. He was so good in that movie. He was so good in that movie. He's good in everything. Yeah. And by the way, like bothers nobody.

42:39Totally. Just like goes in an accident and seems to disappear. Yeah. Like kind of just does his thing. Sopranos legend. Weird guy to pick a fight with. Totally. But it was awesome. Yeah. I agree with you. It was cool. It was cool to have a little beef. Everyone's like, is Daniel Day-Lewis going to say something? And he did. He had Paul Dano's back. That was awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Alec Baldwin like made a video. Hell yeah. Did you see that? I didn't. He's like in his car and he's like, love Paul Dano, out. He felt like he was like doing something massive. I'm like, this is good for the culture. Yeah, I agree with you.

43:09Let the men fight. Messiness is nice. It's fun. Shitting on people is nice. There's like a little too much media training that now because, and I think it's because everyone is on camera essentially 24-7, you can't stay media trained that way. The cracks are going to show. It's just hard watching very talented actors that have worked for generations at this point being like, I'm very excited to do the project with Kim Kardashian. Yeah. It's like, come on, tell the truth. You hate that you have to act with her. You hate it. We hate watching it. None of us can escape it. It's where we are, but come on.

43:45I know. Tell us you hate it. You hate it. Yeah, be like, it was a paycheck. It fucking sucks. Yeah. You can't even speak to her. She has to go to chat GPT to respond to you whenever you, when you ask her, Hey Kim, how was your day? She asks her AI assistant before addressing you. I did my thing. I tried to act the role. She was kind of just there on set. It was really bizarre. This is what I would like to hear. Yeah. Yeah. She's not very good. Do you think Timothee Chalamet, uh, do you think he escapes the Kardashian curse? Because it's the, the, it's pretty, the, the, like, I don't like to, you know, but it's like Lamar Odom, Kanye.

44:21It really is like an insane thing where does anyone come out of dating a Kardashian unscathed? Timmy's our strongest soldier. He might be the guy who gets through it. He might be the one who gets through it. But it is very interesting. I don't know. Marty Supreme was awesome, by the way. I haven't seen it yet. It's so fucking good. I love Timothee Chalamet, though. He's incredible. I'm not shitting on him. I'm literally saying, is he the chosen one? Yeah. Because Kanye, now it's insane, but it's like Kanye was so, It was like, whoa. It was like, he felt at the time like, oh, maybe Kanye will get through it.

44:54Because he was, before going insane, just the greatest rapper of a generation, arguably. Yeah. Timmy is now like the fucking, he's the man. It was so good at Marty Supreme. He's been so good at all the shit he's doing. But it's like, can he survive it? Is the white boy swag strong enough? I don't know. I hope so. I hope so, too. I hope so, because I love his work. Me, too. I want him to talk a little less about how much he wants to win awards. that part turns me off but I like how earnest he is about wanting to be great at what he does I think that's fucking cool I think so too I'm liking that and he's great at it oh dude yeah Marty Supremus was so fucking good I need to see it I haven't seen it yet is it in theaters already?

45:30I think it's coming out this week yeah I went to a little advanced screening do you go to a lot of I got invited to that but I don't go to those do you like going to those are they fun? I mean I just wanted to see that movie so fucking bad that I was like I'll see it I need to see it as quickly as possible it just depends on now Avatar advanced screening I will not go to I will see that on the biggest screen possible I will see that on mushrooms I don't want to be around colleagues I want to be 70mm IMAX fucking like this pupils this fucking big I want to be like the cartoon of what they say the future is going to be like I want to be Wally I want to be a Wally fat guy watching Avatar on the biggest screen man has ever invented I want that I don't want to be in a little screening room but if it's if it's the if it's like if it's like a good ass movie that I've just been dying to see I'll see it immediately Yeah.

46:17It was so good. I realized something really dangerous the other day at my apartment, which is that I didn't do this on purpose. Okay? You have to believe me. Okay, okay, okay, okay. But I was taking a shit, and I realized that if I – You can see your TV? Yeah. That I can see the toilet in the living room if I leave the door open. And I was like, this has changed – because what I was doing was playing Xbox, and I was like, I have to take a shit. And I was like, fuck. Shitting and playing Xbox. I was playing against a guy. I was on live. You can't lose your ranked match. By the way, I have never walked into a podcast with you more comfortable than I did today knowing that neither of us is going to be talking shit about football.

46:58True. It was so beautiful. I was like, I'm escaping that today. I know. You know how much it hurts me to not have been able to celebrate the Chiefs being eliminated from the playoffs? Yeah, you can. Because I got even more fucking owned. You guys are ass, yeah. We suck so bad. So do we. I think we have the exact same record right now. It's humiliating. It kills me. But anyway, you're shitting playing Xbox. Let's get to what's important. I was playing Madden. I already had taken my time out. You don't get a lot of time out when you're playing some live. Right, right, right. So I took the controller.

47:28I'm taking a shit. The TV's, you know, it's kind of far away. Yeah. It's not a small place. Not a small place. You're doing well. But I'm playing on the toilet. Yeah. And yeah, I just realized like this is really good for me. Yeah. Well, you're taking me back to an era before phones, before laptops. I had, as a youth, the TV that I would hang out in was in the kitchen, the basement. Yeah. And we had a mirror on our bathroom, and I could rig it up just right to get the mirror. I would watch TV while shitting through the mirror. Rig it up? So I was just like, I had to get it just right. Nothing could be obstructing the view.

48:05It was pretty far away. Yeah. But you're taking me, you know. And then, dude, the phones, you know, these kids, these whippersnappers. Yeah. They don't know about taking your hot-ass huge laptop, burning your thighs because you're shitting and fucking playing balloons tower defense or whatever the fuck you're doing. You know what I mean? Yeah, we've seen it all. They don't know about jerking off on a desktop. No. Putting your foot on the door because there's no lock. And your grandma's vacuuming in the next room. Moving a mouse. And you have the volume on so low that you're putting your ear to the computer, fucking stroking while your foot's on the door.

48:44It was an escape room. It was crazy. Yeah. It was crazy. You were doing an escape room. They really don't know. It is very fun. I was thinking about this, how pathetic it's gotten to the back-in-my-day stories. You know what I mean? Where it's like, this is the kind of stuff I'm like, the kids don't know. And then I was thinking about how it used to be when a young hot woman would date an older accomplished man, it was like a professor, a lawyer, a captain of industry, someone she could learn something from. And like I'm dating women younger than me. And I'm like, yeah, George Clooney was actually Batman.

49:15I don't know if you knew that. And like that's what I'm teaching her about. I'm like, yeah, it was actually pretty good. Everyone says it sucks, but it's a pretty campy movie. You watch it for fun these days. It's supposed to make you laugh. That's the knowledge I have to give. It's like they're getting nothing. There's no leg up in anything. It's just you're not learning anything. They used to get taught like Latin or something. They're getting nothing from you. Fine oil painting. He would teach her how to taste wine or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not getting that here. You're dating a 27-year-old.

49:46You're watching Reno 911. I'm like, this is where the new boots goofing meme came from. So you've seen this picture before. It's a still from a larger piece.

50:00So yeah, that picture you love that moves in your phone, it's from a TV show. It's good. We used to have TV shows. We used to have TV shows, yeah. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. But, you know, I'm okay with that. Now there's only one entertainment company, and it's called The Company. It's called, yeah, yeah. But we used to have many of them, and they made different kinds of things. It was awesome. Yeah, what do you think of the Netflix-HBO deal? What do you like it? Tough stuff. I mean, I guess it's better than... Our options are theaters go extinct, or an evil Zionist family owns every media company. And it's like, I guess theaters go extinct.

50:35I'm not happy about it. And then I'm hoping maybe through, you know, I'm a Netflix guy. Ted Sarandos is a Greek man. I hope I can maybe, I'm trying to get into, there's a Greek Hollywood Illuminati. People don't know this. I know that. It's very small. Yeah. Right? Stamos is pretty much the king. Yeah. I'm trying through Stamos to get into. You, Stamos, Neovar. Neovar. Neovar. Yep. And there's, you know, people in the shadows that you don't know about. And I Like I I'm hoping Get me in Greek Illuminati Let me talk to Ted Let me say Ted Let's get these theaters going baby Yeah Netflix Because I really actually do think Netflix could They should Like if they had some kind of movie pass thing Where it's like you go to a Netflix theater And you see fucking movies It's part of your subscription Yeah Theaters are fucking awesome And I also think I also think like All these classic movies are classic because people remember them from theaters.

51:33Yeah. Like, there's just... You will be a stronger media company if you keep shit in theaters because a movie that was... The people remember watching there, they will cherish it so much longer than even a really good movie they see on streaming. So I'm hopeful. I hope they keep the brands kind of separate because I do think HBO... Like, a good HBO show is still the one, like, little fleeting part of monoculture we might get. Yeah. Because it's like every week people are fucking tuning... Like when Game of Thrones was huge, when it's like, you know, and like that was kind of my hope was like if I had any aspirations of wanting to do a show, I was like, it would be fucking cool to do like just a show that people watch and like get hooked on.

52:16So who knows? I hope we figure it out. I hope we keep movies in theaters. But it's kind of scary. it's an awesome timeline that the choices are either we never go to a movie together with strangers again or every movie is about the beautiful partnership between Israel and the United States it's like okay so these are the choices talking to you in the camera and be like here are the approved words for this week you fucking dumb bitch dude it's so crazy how they just gave that lady the fucking CBS they gave her the news Some fucking idiot. Yeah. It's crazy, dude. Truly. It's fucking wild. But yeah, if those are my options, I'm fucking, you know, I'm a Netflix company man.

53:00We'll go watch Tires. We got specials on there, all that stuff. It is objectively funny, though, that during the strikes, Netflix was like the biggest fighter of it. They're like, we have no money to give you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when it's time to buy HBO 30 billion above valuation, they're like, time to get in the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Huh. I do love that. That's truly me. Yeah. That's me when it's time to pay my gym membership or eat out 17 times a week. Yeah, Netflix is your rich friend that asks you for a Venmo instantly. They're not picking. It's like, come on, man. You can't get the enchiladas.

53:32You're doing good. The wine was for the table and you were at the table. Hit my Venmo. I know. And look, honestly, what would be great is if we fucking actually had competition and there was separate studios. And who knows, maybe, like, everything kind of feels cyclical because this is how media used to. There was a Supreme Court case that broke up, you know, studios. And then what happened to the set? Like, I kind of think what we're in for, I'm hoping, and hopefully we can be a part of it, is, like, this happened. And then there was, like, real indie cinema. And I think that's the answer. Indie revival.

54:11I truly think that's the answer because I don't even want, like, I like to make comedies. I don't need, you know, some people it's different, right? If you want to make a big sweeping epic, whatever, you probably need financing that's hundreds of millions of dollars. I could make a fucking, you know, I made a movie for$750 ,000. If you gave me five million bucks, I would be happy to do that. And I think, you know, like one of my favorite movies of the year was Sorry Baby, right? That's like just somebody who had a vision who it did. I don't know how much it cost, but it probably wasn't that much.

54:41It was like a one, pretty much a couple locations. and it was really like auteur driven, right? Ava Victor. If you haven't seen it, go see it. They did an incredible job. Like truly like an, because like I'm trying to make movies and it's like, it was also cool because Ava was just, it was someone who was on the internet, kind of popped off like front. It was cool to see somebody else get out of the internet trenches and make a really good movie. Like, look, my movie was fine. Go see it. It's on Hulu right now. But that was like, they directed it. It's an art piece. Wrote it, starred in it. and it's like shit like that and it's like yeah even like your movie that just you know Trash Mountain like uh Let's Start a Cult was like just a trial of making a movie but I do think we're hopefully in for people just kind of making smaller movies to get their voices out there and that like yeah our fans hopefully will support it and start like a little like sort of like that can be the the like uh tinder to just like make it blow up and more people also Also, our fans have got, you have to, if you're somebody who likes it, not even just you and I.

55:46Yeah. But like, if you're somebody who wants to see an indie film revival, if you're somebody who wants to see projects that are actually good getting made, you have got to, like, you have to go see it. You have to spend money on it. Yeah, yeah. You have to also talk about it. You have to make TikToks. For sure. You have to fucking, you have to fucking do like a fucking viral dance trend for it or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not, like, you have to, like, if you want us to be able to do this shit, like, when Trash Mountain comes out, I'm going to be more annoying than I've ever been. Yeah.

56:11about asking people, please fucking go see this in theaters right away. Please post about this if it gets to go to theaters. Like there has to be, we're going to do our part to try and make it happen. But if you want to see something other than just like 14 celebrities, each getting paid$20 million to do a movie that goes straight to Amazon Prime, you're going to have to like get in the trenches with us a little bit. But that is, I will say it's also a little exciting to me because it's like, who cares? The way I look at it is that every part of my life shouldn't have happened. Everything has been like shouldn't have happened.

56:44I've been lucky to get all this shit. Everything's been hard. So it's like, fuck it. Let's make getting movies hard. I don't give a fuck. We'll make it. We'll figure it out. We'll do something that's, even if I don't get to do anything but like small movies that I have to pay for myself, it's like, that's fine. I don't need anything. What I want to do is make stuff. and so I think I kind of just think we're almost reverting back to films like media is kind of reverting back to the 20s or some shit or in other ways the 70s where it was like the first wave of like you know weird indie film whatever but I'm happy to like I also think there's a world where you can tour movies like go and do it from city to city and like try and get the word out that way I've been working on trying to figure this out Yeah, I'd love to talk about it.

57:33We discovered some stuff on Let's Start a Cult that I was like, oh, the next one, I really know how this could work. But at the end of the day, it sucks that all the money is going to these huge mega conglomerates, but that almost makes it exciting for artists to be like, we'll actually show you that we can beat you by just actually making good stuff. And so it actually gives me a little purpose to not be the... I started talking about what a husk, how I feel like I'm barely a man, but it's like this. I'm like, fuck yeah. Let me make a movie of dick jokes so stupid that it defeats a trillion dollar corporation.

58:10That's cool to me. That's like a cool way to like look at making art. It's nice to have an adversary of that's trying to suck, you know, artistry out of what we do. So I'm cool either way. I think we'll be fine. I'm, I'm so indie film revival, indie TV revival. I'm so ready for it. And also the nice thing is like, I wish that more people who made money doing shit like this. One of the issues right now is that so many internet people who make a good living doing internet stuff, they don't have any aspirations outside of it. They just want to pay their bills. I'm trying to get more of those people interested in making art because I'm like, we are the people who can actually do it because our bills are paid.

58:49Let's go fucking make, let's all pitch in money and go make a movie that we believe in instead of just doing another brand deal or whatever do those two well do those two make it happen that's how i look at it it's like this is the like the way to pay for like cooler shit yeah and i love doing like i've i've gotten a place where i love doing the podcast and but it's yeah we're somehow in america podcasting is the only industry that makes money i don't know how that happened only one it's insane yeah it's like the most profitable thing like i really feel like my artistic career i feel like my own i feel like my podcast nepo baby where it's like i get to do like whatever i want because my podcast pays for everything you know like my podcast is my rich husband you know what i mean and i and i get and like making movie making indie movies or even my stand-up tour even like people now people know me as a stand-up but it's like at first people knew me from a podcast and i had to trick them into like stand-up and so it's like yeah i look at it that way where it's like yeah be your own fucking nepo baby like make some even if it fucking sucks art is for it's about the the act of creation it's like at least do something interesting so true is my my benefactor yeah absolutely it's my like it's my like you know how old rich people used to pay painters to just paint all day long yes yes so true is paying me to go and like make an indie film and roll yes yes that's the that's the relationship i love that yeah you're you're changing is so true's diapers yes you know you're feeding it applesauce i kiss it on the forehead I tell it it's so handsome.

1:00:20You're so handsome, so true. Oh, your personality is what brings me here. By the way, can I go shopping? I want to make a movie. Wouldn't that be sexy? Can I rent some red cameras, please, so true? I put on some little lingerie. Ask so true if I can go on tour. Speaking of, Stavi, what's so true to you today? I don't know why I didn't see this coming You fucker I've done the show This your 10th time on the show I think I don't remember I've only done it once I don't remember This is my first time What is so true to me I guess Despite life being a nightmare And you having to face endless tragedies Every time you Get over one of those You're stronger and it makes the beautiful stuff in life that much more...

1:01:19Enduring all the dog shit makes all the beautiful things that much better. Like coming here to your pal's new studio and talking about how empty life is, but that you do want to make indie movies, I guess. It's a really good So True, and I can't stress enough that I still don't know what's going on with you. I love you to death. It's good because it's very bite-sized. It made sense. Written out. It won't look like the ramblings of an insane man That's for sure I thought you were going to say speaking of Can I go on tour? I should plug my tour actually Of course you should plug your tour I have a ton of dates I'm going to shoot a special at the end of April Go to stavi.biz I don't know the dates But Radio City, that's a big one in March I'm going to be in Radio City I'm going to be in Florida I'm going to be in Ohio I'm going to be in.

1:02:13Fuck, I should have prepared for this. You got anything, Chan? You got something for me, Chan? I love, by the way, that none of this is sounding like taking a break. I didn't say I was taking a break until July. I want you to take a break. Tampa. Yeah, scroll down for me, baby boy. Red Bank, Philly, Burlington, Vermont. I think, yeah, Buffalo after that. Yeah. Ohio, Lexington, Kentucky, Des Moines, Springfield. Springfield, Missouri. St. Louis, Cincinnati, Columbus, Minnesota, Rockford, Illinois, Mississippi. I didn't know about that. Biloxi, Mississippi, Radio City. Yeah, the old Biloxi, Mississippi, Radio City routing.

1:02:56Shout out to Stavi's touring agent, who is killing it. Orlando, Jacksonville, Atlanta, West Virginia, Fort Wayne. Yeah, I'm all over the place. Milwaukee, Rochester, and then we're working on where we're going to film the special, but I'm very excited for that, too. Hell yeah, brother. Please come see me and listen to Stavi's World, all that good stuff. All that good stuff. And before you go, you know you've got to play the game. Oh, shit. I missed it last time. Let's do it. I hadn't done it last time. Yeah, let's get it. You've got to play True False. All right. I'm going to read you 15 statements.

1:03:25You're going to tell me as quickly as you can if what I just said is true or false. Stavi, if you get 10 or more correct, we're going to give you 50 US dollars. Fuck yes, dude. You ready? Mm-hmm. Tab Soto was invented by the Mormon Church. False. False. The dog from Air Bud is still alive. False. False, dead. Seth MacFarlane was a writer for Johnny Bravo. True. True. Deion Sanders wore number 36 for the Ravens. 37, false. Yeah, false. The Michelin man's real name is Curtis. False. False, bibbindom. Bats are blind. False. False, they can see and use echolocation. Oh, yeah. The official language of Brazil is Spanish.

1:03:57False. False, it's Portuguese. Hypnos is the ancient Greek god of sleep. True. True. Some of these are gimme's this week. I mean, this is awesome. These are great. Texas is the largest U.S. state by landmass. False Alaska. False Alaska. John Candy was 5 '11". False. False. He was 6 '2". Dude, if you're the first guest. If you're the first guest. Now you're jinxing me, you piece of shit. You fucking, you know what you're doing. Argentina won the FIFA World Cup in 2022. There was no World Cup in 22. False. it's true fuck I thought it was 24 maybe the most legendary run we've had though on the show fuck American Eagle was founded in 1997 I knew they won too I just didn't know I thought you were trying to trick me with 22 fuck you when was it American Eagle was founded in 1997 false false 1977 Gerald Ford was a Republican true true a group of bears is called a sleuth false true Baltimore's Polytechnic Institute's fight song is Pauly Fight Song.

1:05:05This is my fucking high school, you piece of shit. False. True. Fuck. 12? 12. 12. With 10 in a row. Dude, I got really... I think if you were the first guest to get all 15, we have to end the show. Yeah. It just feels like... I could have gotten Argentina. I think there was no chance I would have gotten... And I might have... I was 50-50 on Pauly. I was sure Bears was not sleuth. Yeah. So I would have gotten that wrong. You murdered that. Thank you. That's my boy. Appreciate it. Is there anything else you want to plug, Stav? Just come see me on tour. You know, I think that's pretty much it. Let's start a cult.

1:05:40I mean, watch Begonia if you haven't. But yeah, that's it. I love it. Thanks for doing it, dude. Thank you, dude. Always a pleasure. This is the best. Love you, bye. Bye. See ya. This episode is brought to you by Hinge. Look, dating can be a goddamn nightmare. It can be a daunting and difficult thing to navigate. But thankfully, our friends at Hinge are here to help. Hinge is the dating app designed to be, you guessed it, deleted. It's for people dating with intention, going on dates, putting themselves out there. Hinge is designed for finding connections. What makes Hinge the ideal dating app is its user-friendly layout and its interactive prompts feature that allow you to ask potential suitors questions or pick topics to get the conversation going without the awkward ice-breaking phase.

1:06:20What we hear is so true, the whole team, love the most about Hinge, and we're always bringing this up, has got to be the signals feature, which allows you to see what profiles thoughtfully engage with their matches. I mean, who doesn't love thoughtful engagement? For anyone who might need a little assistance when it comes to making their profile pop, Hinge has just released their new Friends Take feature that lets you invite the people who know you best to contribute short, authentic reflections directly to your profile via text, voice, video, and photos. Chance, why don't you give them a reflection for me for my Hinge profile?

1:06:54For you? Yeah, well, give them a... You know me best. Give him a reflection of me. Oh, wow. Great smile. And he always picks up the check. That's actually, yeah, that's actually really nice. Actually, Nicole Clip that sent that to me. Next time you're looking to make a connection, do us a favor and give Hinge a try. And we're back. Streaming on Peacock. May I present to you the award-winning staff of the Toledo Truth Teller. Slap me. Let's jar something loose. Ay, yes! I like that. The Certified Fresh Series returns. Your boss. always like this or is this just an act oh no this is mad oysters everybody there's a certain satisfaction when you work with someone maybe we could be a family the paper new season streaming september 9th only on peacock this show gives me a reason to live have you heard that mcdonald's spicy chicken mcnuggets made with spicy tempura and a blend of aged cayenne are back.

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