#493 Challenge your limits, don't limit your challenges

0:00Hi everybody, it's Helen from the Squiggly Careers podcast. Before you listen or watch today's episode, I just wanted to let you know about some news that Sarah and I are very excited about, and that is that our Squiggly Careers Skills Sprint is back. This time we are going to be sprinting in September and the sprint will last for a week. Our focus is on the five Squiggly Career Skills, so that is strengths, values, confidence, network and future possibilities, and we are going to be accelerating your development by adding in a little bit of AI. So there are some prompts for you to play with, there are some tools for you to try out, and we have got everything that you need to learn.

0:35So sign up to the sprint, head to squiggliesprint.com, add your email in and we'll start to send you your Ready Steady Sprint guide. You can sprint together as a team, you can sprint on your own, whatever works for you, but we are going to make this as easy as possible for you to sign up, for you to start and for you to stick to your sprint. So go to squiggliesprint.com to get started now. Hi, I'm Sarah. And I'm Helen. And this is the Squiggly Careers podcast. Every week we talk about a different topic to do with work and share some ideas and actions to help all of us navigate these increasingly squiggly careers without a bit more confidence and control.

1:13And this episode is part of a short series that we decided to do for summer when we thought everyone could do with a little bit of inspiration, some ideas they can put into action. So we have taken our favourite quotes. I never really thought I would talk about Sarah having favourite quotes, but it turns out you do have some favourite quotes that inspire you. So the one I've picked for the next episode, I don't even think is a quote. I was like, it's a definition. It's a statement of intent. It's a statement. So we've taken our favourite statements of intent and quotes that have been helpful for us in our careers, and we have turned them into things that you can take action with.

1:46So this is the third episode in this series. The first one was one of quote that's worked for me, which is run your own race. The second one was a quote which has worked for Sarah, which was never lived the same year twice. And today is back to me for my quote that feels useful for me in my career, which I think might be a bit contentious for people. We'll see. We'll see. It works for me. I'm going to try and turn it into something that works for other people. So my quote that we're going to talk about today is challenge your limits. Don't limit your challenges. And I've heard you say that before, but it always just takes me a moment, you know, just to be like, what does she mean?

2:22Don't limit your challenges. Yeah. Okay. so talk to us about like where's that come from and perhaps like what what does that what does that mean for you yeah do you know what I can answer one of those better than the other so where's it come from I don't I can't really you know I don't know it's like these bits of wisdom but if you think of that book you know the book by Liz Gilbert which is you know the creative big magic that's it yeah yeah yeah it talks about like the genius that comes into the room and if you don't catch it it goes on to somebody else I feel like that's a bit like with me in quotes they come in I don't know where they come they come in no yeah you don't definitely you definitely I really remember like the book the origin story also I've had I've tried to talk you into like sharing origin stories I remember when we were writing gremlins I was like we need to do like the origin story and I think you just don't connect to that to like where things came from no no so I don't know it came in to some kind of room or a book or something the challenge so I don't know I can't answer that one to be honest but it did stick and so what I can say is kind of why did it stick I I think this really resonated with me around the time that we were starting Squiggly because at the time full-time job at Virgin launching new business with Virgin quite a lot going on I think it was before it was before I had my first child so that wasn't quite happening um but there were lots of things starting to happen so Virgin Squiggly the kid thing came on the agenda the agenda it happened knowing you it probably wasn't an agenda and then obviously like MBA started not it was all kind of lots of stuff happening and I got a lot of challenge from other people where I felt they were placing their limits on me and I think with the challenge your limits thing the the thing the word your is probably the most important thing for me in in that quote because what I started to feel that other people were saying to me oh you're gonna you're gonna have to let something go that's too much to do you need to make a choice um you're gonna something's gonna break you're gonna drop a plate you know all of that all of that chat negative quite negative which I think was hopefully coming from a place of care like they didn't they didn't want me to you know fail or not succeed but it was also coming from their perspective of what's possible and I believe that that looks different for different people and so I think that challenge your limits don't limit your challenges really resonated for me because it stopped me it stopped me from letting go of things that were important to me because of what other people thought I could or couldn't do when you um were in that moment so I obviously remember you in that moment because we've known each other for so long now there's not many moments I now don't remember about your life um but I do remember that being quite a stressful time for you um I've I can I can conjure up images of us sitting in coffee shops and you like looking really quite like wow there's there's a there is a lot happening at the moment and definitely not this the your reaction to that was not well let's take some things away it's not it wasn't about subtracting so how how in that moment do you think that was helpful how did you kind of find your way through I suppose what was a potentially knotty moment but perhaps didn't didn't get to that point perhaps that's what people were anticipating was going to happen I think the thing to recognize about challenging your limits not limiting your challenges is it is still challenging like yeah that's the whole point it's not this is not easy um this is something that probably does feel a bit difficult to do and so I think that's that's kind of part part of the process because you're probably something on top of what you're already doing there's an there's an element of um you know the sort of courage zone stuff going on here that yes you know we last year we wrote a book on top of our day jobs that was a challenge like that was definitely a challenge it wasn't easy at times it was difficult that was a challenge that we decided to do um we are now considering a phd next year that is a challenge that we will or will not decide to do but so i don't wake up every day and go today I'm gonna do a PhD tomorrow I'm gonna write a book but there are certain moments in time where I think you have to pick a challenge and you recognize that challenge is a push beyond where you are today but I think those moments where you might pick a challenge are the moments when other people will tell you to put it down and what I'm saying is like if you pick the challenges that are right for you and you put the right support around it stuff that we're going to talk about in the that I think work for me, I think you can kind of push past some of those things.

7:00And I don't think you should be constrained by other people's limits that they want to put on you. And I suppose the upside for this, the like, what would be better because of it is I think this is how you explore your potential by doing things you've not done before. And also how you gain confidence that you can probably do more than you give yourself credit for. So I'm thinking about some challenges that people would set for themselves that you would never set like running a marathon for the first time um who knows who knows though you're challenging my limits this is the moment where she's like no I am going to um that I might question but hey you know who knows but I know a couple of people who have done say like the London Marathon who you know weren't runners before or you know did it for a charity or like they just set themselves they perhaps would have previously limited themselves or other people might have limited them to sort of go oh yeah but you're not really like a runner or you're not that into fitness or whatever but they have set themselves something that's kind of gone beyond where they were before um and I think you know some of the outcomes of doing this are very positive around both like capability and confidence because almost it doesn't really matter what it is once you've done some of these things that feel just challenging for you you probably then go okay well then I could do that again it probably looks I get you know we talk about with confidence gremlins one of the things that helps you to cage a confidence gremlin is having kind of moments of pride and these moments where I've challenged my limits in my career are massive moments of pride they weren't always easy like back to the difficult point but they were like moments where I had a lot of pride so let's move on to these actions now we've hopefully convinced I feel like we've tried really hard to convince people that this isn't as relentless as it sounds yeah I hope not no I don't think I'm looking at my actions now I don't think these are relentless well you can give me some feedback no go on then action one action number one curiosity before commitment so I think if you if there is a challenge that you want to go after something difficult maybe other people are going oh maybe don't do that I think before you go well I am going to do it I you know I am going to start that phda i'm gonna do that new job i am gonna do whatever i think aim for curiosity first like don't blindly commit to things that are challenging go find someone who has done the thing you want to do go spend time just getting a bit closer to it so you can understand the reality of it um understand what might need to change to make it possible you're not trying to critique and kill it but you are i do think just before you say i am going to do this just having a kind of a moment where you are curious I would aim for that first yeah it's almost doing a bit of due diligence isn't it which doesn't sound as nice as curiosity but we are really trying to kind of figure out does this feel like the right challenge because I think it's not just about any challenge it's about kind of the right challenge for you like number two what next yeah um slow don't stop hey let me explain um so I think that you know back to the I'm not saying this is always going to be easy like if you're trying to do something new or on top of what you're already doing it's probably not going to be easy and there are times where it reminds me the Banksy quote about when you get tired learn to rest not quit yeah I think there are times when you're doing this that it will feel quite hard and I think the temptation there is to give up in all honesty oh it's too hard I should have listened to what everyone said yeah I made a mistake shouldn't be doing this and stop and I think what is better in those moments is to just slow down and go okay maybe I can't make this work this week but it's okay like I'll pick it up again on Monday yeah because I think there's often a lot of emotion tied up with that like oh it's too hard it's too difficult I'm doing it wrong I should just stop it I think there's often a lot of motion and if you slow down sometimes the emotion goes away and I think you can look at it a bit more objectively so that's my second insight on it yeah I guess the point with any challenge and there's certainly the challenges in the context we're talking about them today is they're likely to be over a relatively long period of time it's it's unlikely to be like a week or a month these challenges and so the longer these challenges are a bit like kind of the long wind stuff from Kath Bishop you can't go at the same speed the whole time you know if you talk about like the intensity of that challenge there have been moments where that intensity would have felt like 90 100 you actually do need to almost preemptively go when are the 90 100 moments when are the 10 moments knowing that's okay that's the i've really slowed down but i've not quite stopped yeah yeah i think that's quite helpful for people to make i think i do imagine it as a bit of like a percentage like where am i on that percentage speed is a choice i feel like if i've committed to doing something i'm committed like yeah decision made but then speed is a choice so even like the phd is an example we have a view of how quickly we would like to do that if we do it we have a view of how quickly we would like to do it and there could be a point in time where we go do you know what we we did want to do it that quickly but we can choose to do it we could choose to take another year and we could choose to slow down so that this feels impossible for us but i think just think about slowing don't make the first thoughts stopping and then and then you kind of think you keep going with it would be my thing well I don't need my phone for the last one because I remember what the last one is celebrate the wins let's celebrate I think if you are challenging your limits you deserve to celebrate your wins because it obviously like it is not easy and there will be lots of good things you're doing you might have got a brilliant bit of feedback from somebody who has seen that you're trying really hard on this thing or maybe you've decided you're going to start a newsletter and you reach like a thousand followers of your newsletter set like celebrate that win it's I think this links a lot with um Angela Duckworth's stuff on grit which I think you need for this and she talks about you know the progress and the positivity that helps you kind of keep progressing with the things that matter to you and I think this celebrating the wins a helps you see progress because you're like oh I'm on the way it's working and then also it helps you feel positive because you you know you're kind of just recognizing the hard work yeah I think I was just reflecting on how we do that I I don't think either of us actually are that that motivated by it like we don't actually do it that often but we do I think if you look back through our whatsapp scroll which I would never want anyone to ever do because I just think people would never want to talk to us ever again they'd be like wow there's there's relentless and then there's you two um but I think you could spot the whatsapps where we both consciously go oh we should take a moment though to just recognize yeah we should recognize that that's a big thing I think that's probably sometimes something that you and I could both get better at I think we both instinctively know it and feel it but because we don't naturally spend that much often we'll be quite on to like the next thing I think there is a point about challenges of like don't move on too soon you know that ability to actually see the successes both along the way, the smaller successes, but then actually before you move on to the next thing, like just pause and feeling really proud.

14:25Yeah, I do hold it. I really do. The challenge your limits don't limit your challenges. It comes back to me in those moments where I almost have a little bit of doubt or I hear that from other people and I go, hang on a minute, Helen. Like if you were going to challenge your limits here, what would it look like? So it is quite propelling for me. It's not blind belief. but it is a propelling statement that helps me just kind of go okay well how could this like the PhD is such a good example because you could go wow that's a massive commitment it's going to take loads of time it's easy to say no to but then if I go well if you are going to challenge the limits that you're creating for yourself or that other people are creating for you what would that look like and I just find that a much more helpful way of thinking about doing some bigger stuff I've not done before much more motivating way so I guess that's that's how it's worked for me so I suppose if you're listening to this now one of the things that you might want to do is just think about like what does this look like for you because I think it is incredibly personal also you might go it's not for me you know the point is we've chosen some quotes slash statements that really work for us I think it is just as interesting if you if you've listened today and just gone that just doesn't work for me um there's loads of there's loads to learn from that like well why not what is it you don't like what would you use instead because the one thing we do want to prompt all of all of us to be doing we all want to be continually exploring what we can do and our potential and in my experience people are usually you know like they have more to give than they than they know so I think that's kind of the point here so whatever is going to propel you to sort of spend a bit of time in that courage zone do things you've not done before I think that's what you're looking for that's the purpose of this whether that is about challenging your limits or whether that's something different um maybe just be asking yourself now like well what would work for me amazing so hopefully you found it helpful we would love some feedback it's obviously the third episode of the series so if you're finding it useful if you have any quotes that have inspired your career please let us know we are helen and sarah at squigglycareers.com but that's everything for this week thank you so much for listening if you are listening during the summer we hope you're having a lovely August and we're back with you again next week bye for now everyone