10 years left, who wants a kiss ?

0:04that's actually so vile it's not funny it's just not funny sorry guys i was just having a laugh Baddest bitches in LA. And then the album came out and it was fine. She's the baddest of them all. The baddest of them all. Do you want to dance, baby? Okay. Welcome back to Straight Diva where we are late. This is a late posting. You're late. You're late. Also, we said we were getting divorced. We got loads of views. So the clickbait is clickbaiting, honey. Are you rushing or lagging? Are you rushing or are you Russian? Are you mogging or gooning? Are you mogging or mewing? Oh, honey. Honey, honey, honey.

0:51How do you think you would have coped in a sort of whiplash-esque musical upbringing? Like where you were just sort of abused? How would I have coped? How did I cope, honey? How did I cope? You were doing classical, you were doing jazz drums. I grew up in, oh, I thought you meant musical. I used to do musical theater grades. yeah but have you seen whiplash oh whiplash whiplash no because i would have been like no my dad is too nice yeah my mom dad yeah sorry speaking of my dad speaking of your dad i still don't get pulp really i still don't get pulp they're amazing jarvis cocker and the band are all great live they're all brilliant performers they are actually everything that i say that i hate but i love them do you understand yeah it's why it's very typical called boring indie yeah yeah the songs are quite boring i just guess i just guess it's like um what they talk about yeah maybe the lyrics the lyrics is his performance because he used to be like on it the performance is great the lyrics are great chords chords were a bitch for me oh really i think the chord sequences are nice um but he is uh he's a wonder he did do a slideshow on stage which was a bit weird a slideshow he did a slideshow of like pulp's history and um it made everyone think that it was going to be their last gig and then he was like it's not our last gig they say this every time it was their last gig when i was at school fake retirement yeah lcdc sound system by lcdc you're right i'm all right you're right i missed you stop it now because it's actually horrible yeah no one likes it everyone complains so it's just I missed you too.

2:32I missed you too. Okay. How are you doing? It's been so long. I feel like we're just, we're both following our dreams. We are. I know. It's actually getting, it's getting difficult. It's getting difficult. No, yeah, it's all good. How's music? Music's really good. You're still making music? Yeah, I do make it. Oh, that's good. I've been shooting loads. So like, I haven't even been talking in my own bloody group chat. Also, I'll speak to Dino, the, my lovely friend who's styling me for my next era. eras to her what sorry what era is he from the the pangea era yeah that's her drag name i'll keep calling her miss dino sorry she doesn't find it funny um but dino he was amazing uh he was saying that we actually need to be a bit more the minute the episode starts but like our projects out now or like you need to listen to more to screen you need to listen to more to screen and so i think yeah because bell and yang apparently in their podcast which i don't listen to because I don't like gay people that much.

3:27And they apparently have their own ads which are then promoting their own tours. Gaggy. So anyway, this is us saying, go listen to our music. I've often thought, I was going to do one of them for I Love My Wife. I was going to do an ad read. I love my wife. And make it a bit silly. But I never got the time. Yeah. But maybe we should take an opportunity now to remind all of our listeners that Sue has been in the studio writing hits like nobody's business. She's doing singing lessons with the ultimate vocal coach, Nepo Baby. Shout out, Olive. Shout out, Olive. But I, yeah, and I signed a record deal last week.

4:05And you signed a record deal last week. Yeah. Let's fucking go. Thank God, straight diva. Yeah. And what did you do last week? You played four fucking shows. I played four shows in eight days and one of them was End of the Road Festival. Thank you. Wake it up. Shake it up. And there were like 500 people in the tent and they were all screaming. Louis, please fuck me. please fuck me BBC Six Dads yeah please Louis just one drop of cum please fuck me I'll wear armbands please I'll wear a bust I'll wear fake boobs fuck me I'll bust down Louis on sex music I'll change my pronouns for you Louis please I'm Louise please I promise I'm Scottish it's a real kill my wife said I could do LSD at LSD this weekend.

4:54Please. There were some Chelsea P6 dads in the audience. Nice. They're good. They're the most supportive. One of their five minutes. But one thing I was asking people, Sue, is where are the six music mums? Do they... Yeah, exactly. It gives like, do you know what actually gives football hooligan where they go away? Yeah, it's like leave your wife at home while you have all the fun. Well, because BBC six mums are smart because they've married good and they've got a decent guy so they can go out and cheat. I was asking Tasman TTSSFU Oh, love you And she said that she only gets six music dads She doesn't get any six music mums Eek, yeah, what is the issue?

5:33Well, what are the six music mums listening to? If the six music dad, what are their wives listening to? We need some more girls in here We need some more girls in here There's too many, man, too many, many, man That was you That was me But no, End of the Road was fantastic lovely felt amazing to do a show to a crowd that was so happy it's actually easier to do a crowd to more people yeah like when i when i'd like when i played nottingham pride like there's like a few a few thousand people there and but like because they don't exist to you do you know what i mean like it's more detached yeah you're they're just there so like i think it's so much easier than playing like i don't know like an intimate show space or like a hundred cap like 500 cap it's like girl fuck y 'all like do you know i mean i hope you enjoy it i don't know what nottingham pride was like but the sound was it rocking much better oh good it was like there were three engineers yeah i think we got lucky because we were on first we had way more time than anyone else to sound check but um and also just like i don't know the space like anytime you play in london you're like very cramped yeah it's so nice to command a stage yeah yeah walk around Like prance around a stage and do shit.

6:42Oh God, I wish I was there. It was the best. I want to play festivals more. That was so fun. I know. And I want old people to be at every show we do. It wasn't just old people, guys. I promise it was more than six music dads. There were like Gen Z people there. There were straight diva fans there. Nice. It was magical. End of the Road is a very, very good festival as well. Lovely festival. Who else played? CMAT. Oh, lovely. Which I was in the pit for. I've never been in the pit before. Open a fucking pit. You ever been in the pit? I actually didn't know what the pit was It's the bit in front of the front of the town Where the photographers go Saw C-Mac do her thing Saw that voice up close and personal Holy shit Her band is really good as well Who else had like Pulp, Mac DeMarco, Geese Were the headliners Geese were great Pulp were great although yeah I still don't get it But they are amazing performers I actually saw a TikTok the other day that was like you guys on tiktok don't know anything about indie twitter like growing up on indie twitter right can you remember indie twitter were you involved with that or like the indie guys really well it's just like these girls being like have you survived indie twitter and everyone's like yeah all the beefs and i was like the thing that i remember from any twitter or the rapist boys do you remember the rapist the american emo creeps yeah ariel pink yeah that would like bother people yeah and i was like everyone was like have you survived it and everyone was like referencing all these different things i was like survive that babe i remember how all the boys were like getting outed here there and everywhere that was a crazy time it's a it's a it's a very well trodden pipeline although there's been less trodden on the on the most recent waves of indian let's hope it stays that way yeah no 100 percent um but also model actress were fab incredible he's one Please don't want to death.

8:28He don't want to death. Yeah. They're just coming off Miley, which Sue called years before. So if you don't know who Mone Electric is, you have to check out who Mone Electric is because they're an amazing band. But Sue gave everyone the lowdown. Yeah, shout out to Shan. That they were working with. From Spotify who told me. So probably shouldn't have told people, but I told Louis, so it's fine. It's just me. You'll forgive me, Shan, please. Thank you. And their producer, all working with Miley Cyrus. With Miley Cyrus. And then it's all coming out now. Which is fucking, He was one of the best front runs I've ever seen.

8:57He was... He gives... Is he gay? He's 100 % gay. Okay, great. Because when I saw him, I was like, if that is straight, that is wrong. He's voguing on stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say. I've never seen... I've never seen people voguing to, like, punk music. God, have you got a video? I've never seen a diamond in the flare. I actually didn't get any videos from one actress. But he was also... He was also in the crowd for, like, 15, 20 minutes. That's slightly annoying. which was just too much. Yeah, yeah. And he did come up to me in the crowd and I did just scream in his face. And then he said, God, I didn't know End of the Road was so gorgeous.

9:33Are they American? Yeah. Oh. They're from New York. Oh, so that changes everything. In my head, I thought they were from like Leeds. Oh yeah, of course he's gay. Oh my God, I thought they were so straight. Straight people love them. Straight people do love them. Work. But yeah, they were incredible. It was so, so good. God imagine being like a gay artist And then Having straight fans crazy Yeah Like first like straights like you first All the heads like you first are black girl Where the faggots Well it's interesting isn't it Because you can either go Do you think it's Is there a better route No I actually think I would like to I would like the straights You're my way in This is the reason why I would do straight either to open open open up the fucking pit but do you in all seriousness do you feel like there's like um obviously if you start in the community yeah it gives you like it's hard to get out it gives you a better chance of your start but yeah it can be harder to break into the mainstream that's the gaggy thing about like slater though because when slater popped off back in like 2017 she did like daddy is fuck and like oh me oh my she was such a gay artist she's just been paying pride over and over and over and then like releasing music and no one kind of cared and then she's like come out she signed to whoever she signed to and then she just come out with these hits and now she's like loved by everyone and i'm like to be honest good on her for getting out the circuit because the girls do get stuck in it and i shall not be doing that no offense to the girls that do pride but like i said no to them this year i'm sorry because but it's not that i think i'm better than it it's just more like i need straight people to like me too because you couldn't quickly fall into that i'm sorry girls how did how did slater break out was it just i don't know she just released really good good music so i think the gays really ran for and then she released crank it once she released dance that went viral and she released crank it and everyone's like wait no this bangs i do think talent pulls you out like i feel like chapel was probably in the same yeah vein but eventually it's like because i remember seeing a tweet that was like the funny thing is about chapel is like you would tell straight people like oh she's like a lesbian singer and people like oh i'm not bothered and then they're like oh you mean that type of lesbian like because it's like it's like femme lesbian whereas like if you tell someone people think like obviously you think of the horrible stereotype straight people think of lesbians which is also fierce every lesbian is worthy it arrives in a cloud of feathers with a cry to wake the dead espolon tequila balanced delicious perfect for nights out nights in and For people who like to drink tequila, just add ice, lime, and your mouth.

12:14Then hold on time. 100 % agave, 0 % ego. Espolon tequila. For a real margarita, ride the rooster. Espolon tequila, 40 % alcohol by volume, 80 proof. Copyright 2026, Compel America, New York, New York. Drink responsibly. And we're back. Streaming on Peacock. May I present to you the award-winning staff of the Toledo Truth Teller. Slap me, let's jar something loose. Ay, yes! I like that. The Certified Fresh Series returns. Your boss. You always like this? Or is this just an act? Oh no, this is mad. Oysters, everybody! Has it happened? There's a certain satisfaction when you work with someone. Maybe we could be a family.

12:52You sadistic pig! The Paper. New season streaming September 9th, only on Peacock. This show gives me a reason to live. Yeah, and we need the Pride festivals. But it is a fact that also... Being gay and trying to convince JP to listen to you is crazy. that's why no one comes out when sam smith came out the night before his album yeah girl we know yeah same ollie alexander i was like girl that nose piercing honey which is interesting because like i feel like uh across you know internet culture being gay is easy being gay is cool yeah yeah right but then like for music it's like yeah we want you to be gay but like not too gay like yeah don't like hashtag lgbtq as the first hashtag yeah it should be the fifth hashtag me remember i used to post tiktoks with three hashtags that was like my thing and now i think you are limited to five i don't do hashtags really that much anymore unless it's music it's too lame and even then it's like hashtags well hashtag yeah do avant-garde sort of dada nonsense hashtags yeah dada dada but end of the road was brilliant so i wish you were there you deserve every happiness um i i don't want to do another interview for a little while i'll be honest uh though the interviews were great when you're interviewing someone are you listening to their answers or are you thinking about the next question both because i am not listening really i'm look i'm just waiting for a word for them i did a panel for dr martins and whoever's what you think being gay in football yeah it was yeah what you think about being gay in football um and it was like i'd answer i'd ask a question they'd all take it and i'd literally just be like i'd read the next few questions and then i'd just wait for a keyword and i'm like talking about that yeah and then and then it would be like discuss and then they're discussing and it was like pressure off my back for two more minutes it's like i it's like tennis i'm not listening i do i try i do try and listen um it's basically those are the only two things i'm thinking about i'm thinking am i okay am i going to respond to something you just said or am i going to go to my next question yeah those are the only two things i'm thinking about uh but i do notice that like i think i got a bit tired of doing interviews especially when there's people there's artists i interviewed there's loads of artists i interviewed who i love but i did 12 interviews so naturally some of them too much some of them are going to be people i i don't know so i was having to do last minute prep for did they know you though they didn't there was like a couple of american bands who are like a really big but like i just guess haven't crossed my radar yeah and um you just i don't know i don't know if you've ever noticed doing it interviews but like you just become a bit of a version yourself you hate like yeah you're just like i'm just trying to be charming and laugh and like or make the person you just and you feel like oh my god i'm just being a bag yeah 100 and also like i don't care about you yeah like do you know i mean i literally don't care i'm getting paid to be here like i like i don't i think that's that's what I've really struggled with when I have to interview people that like none of like the straight diva guests but like times where I've been like interviewing like celebs or like famous people and um I don't care about them I care more about meeting like when you do like days when you talk to like fans whereas it's like when I'm asking like artists also guys some artists are cunts yeah I can't I don't have any cunts and like sometimes they might be like tired too so they might not be cunt but that day they fancy being a cunt and I can't be bothered I don't care like I don't care enough for I'm not going to make this interview better for you if you're tired I'm going to meet you right there like we were talking about it like when I was at rally and I saw Dev Hines was about yeah and I'm like I'm not going to be the guy to bother Dev Hines and that's the that's the ultimate thing it's like the artists all the artists I interviewed were great they were really sweet and lovely and very polite but like there's something about like like the pretext of like you don't want to do this like yeah or maybe that's just a me issue but it's like it's like you've just come off stage you're just about to go on stage it's like you do you want to do do you want to do a tiktok interview quickly yeah um and then usually i did get i obviously fucking gagged them with my questions which i always ask guilty pleasures faggot son or thought daughter

17:05faggot son or tranny daughter think about that oh Jesus was it like you googled them no no no I would basically no no no no no no I wouldn't do that I would prepare like three questions for the artist and then I would always have two universal questions which are just do you believe in guilty pleasures and how much your music tastes it's on to your parents nice uh do you see a blue dress or a white dress what do you see and also sometimes if you look at the light and look back it changes again these are like these are really good questions yeah thank you yeah when they say that you're like okay je m 'appelle graham norton yeah like it's like um i mean we're still like yeah like my first ever real one that everyone was like panicking me for it was channel trez who is what he's heaven he's heaven you interviewed channel trez yeah for off trend but everyone was like hyping it up that i was like i love channel trez and listen to him like a tiny bit like at time he was yeah or am i top down um he yeah and we used to make uni like when we were high um and so like and he was on the same management in shamir so like at the time as well so i was like oh my god like so he comes out and everyone's like hyping him up his whole team's like that's the thing with like labels and prs and shit they hype up the artist like yeah he's coming now he's actually in a really good mood or like whatever they didn't say that about him like we're just people but it's just like they're just people babe just send them my ad in like or like send them tell them where they are anyway he comes out this girl's interviewing before everyone's like trying to hype me up i'm like it's fine yeah the sweetest and most gorgeous human being so much so that i was like i think we fancy each other we didn't uh that's okay um but he was heaven and then but then they're all just somewhere like you're in a space where you're like oh this is gonna be easy and then you meet them and then like i don't know that like people are just like yeah there's some there's some people who are rude and i'm not gonna say who are fucking rude and usually it's not the artist like usually the artist might be shy or they might be a bit tired or in a bit of a bad mood but like yeah it's always the pr who's like yeah they're actually they're actually in a really good mood right now yeah they're gonna love you and yeah what are you like what are you talking about feel like you know when your parents like say go and sit with the go and sit with the other young kid it was when I I styled I'm not going to say who it is I could say who no I'm not going to I can't you styled no no no I like helped stylistist someone wow and I was told me yeah really but I was assisting a stylist and I was told not to look this person it's funny now because we have mutual we have mutual friends but I was told like not to look her in the eye this that and the third anyway she turns up like a chimpanzee yeah yeah we end up having the biggest kiki um and she was lovely actually that day and we were all like we had like such a laugh but like before she came i don't know who from her team or pr whatever i was told not to look her in the eye but in mind she wasn't that famous like i don't know if it was like me being like oh yeah styled i don't know someone hugely famous she was like she's like moderately famous she's fine famous like um i really want to say who it is but now i'll get in trouble we have too many mutual friends it's wrong um but yeah she was actually heaven okay i'll tell you okay uh but yeah wow it was crazy it was crazy but like but it's the pr it's the pr and it's like the teams around people that like hype up the person or kind of like stress the person out like yeah it's like you're there to hire their car to and from and they think other than that chill out and they think they're doing everyone a service by like making it better but you're actually just you're sort of uh making the whole situation more orchestrated stressful and i'm kind of like waiting there and i'm getting nervous even though i literally don't care about this person it's crazy but i just want to clarify that i do care about the people i interviewed oh just yeah just a bit interviewed out yeah for sure just a bit uh no i bet you did amazing just a bit because you are amazing you know when it's just like uh you put you put your whole social energy into interviewing and then i'd go see my friends who are at the festival it's like yeah and then you're miserable yeah no 100 i had that all the time especially like and i'm not but like now i'm on adhd meds it does help with that stuff but like last year when i did all the dazed ones it was the same like you interview people all day and it's amazing and you're on when the camera's on then honestly by the end of the day you're like you're just brain dead you're just broken yeah you're like literally broken and the mandy as well didn't help and the and the cocaine um joking we don't do any of that allegedly we did it how are you what's new yeah fine how's weekend i'm chilling the only thing i've got written down that i want to talk about um which we will get on to how am i sorry my weekend is good i was in but i've been working i had a shoot on wednesday i've actually been busy all week but um i had a shoot on wednesday which was amazing and was in like what was the shoot the premise for the next single which will be out in a few weeks sweet um the cover is amazing yeah it's really amazing okay and i can't because I wanted to be gaggy so I actually can't say anything but like it's crazy it was crazy for me to be fair for listeners Sue has a clear uncontrollable excitement on her face yeah yeah Sir is good Sir Sir Sir Sue is gooning honey and yeah so it's fine and then yesterday I was in Brighton with Clarence again which was lovely just figuring out the rest of the project who's Clarence for Clarence Clarity is an amazing producer who is actually so sweet and we actually had a big conversation about Straight Devo because you won't listen to this because we obviously started working a bit more closely and he's brilliant like really oh i can't hype him up enough he's done like he did a lot of like the reader sawiyama stuff and like he's a really really insanely talented producer and he i told him i did the podcast and then he listened to one episode and then he hasn't listened to it since because he was like i just didn't want to feel like i knew things about you yeah when i want you to tell me or if it would like affect my viewing of you which i thought was like really really wonderful actually that it was like you know he was like i found it really funny i wanted to watch more but he was like but i want to know like you and thinking and i was like god like you're sick like he's so amazing so i was down in brighton with him and then halfway through every time i go down i had this mns microwave meal right it's bang bang chicken and edamame and it's um cauliflower rice and it's like six pounds and I'm like I get that every time um is this like this would be my top jaw and it'll sell out immediately I can't get any more fuming um kidding is this a lunch option or is this a take home and heat up option it's both but like because I'm in the studio there's like a microwave in there m &s's lunch options jesus banging banging so I was having it I was in the studio the week before as well and I was having it every day there because I like I get like autism lock on so I was like locked onto this thing anyway go have it warm up warm up for the right amount of time finish it and i don't know whether i've got a little bit of a bug i immediately am like oh she's landed in my stomach wrong babe when we took it thunder lightning it was crazy uh alexa could you play jesse j thunder please um thunder uh but yeah it was like blew it up so i was like i'm just gonna go for a wee whilst he was like mixing my vocals go blew her up come back the worst is when you gotta go again and i was there for half an hour like literally in so much pain because i don't want to look like i'm just on the toilet uh no no no back when i need a shit like explosive shit i'm i'm like in and out in and out burger honey especially when people like like i know clarence well i was gonna say you and clarence at shitting stage i think i could probably be like i'm gonna i'm shitting myself yeah but i was like i can't really so like i ran out and i probably couldn't um i think you and clarence yeah i think i think we definitely could but anyway so i like run out and then i was like i had like a really quick like intense shit loud as anything awful and then i go back in and then like i'm there for half an hour it starts happening again i have to do it again so then i'm like i need to leave like i'm like two hours three hours away from home i'm in fucking brighton so i was like shit so i got on the train station got on the train i was like literally sit like that's like trying to manifest off listen to crank two by slater is your bowel control good generally really good there was a time where i was like really anxious and i actually just think i gave myself ibs through like anxiety now someone's got a comment be like you can't give yourself IBS so I'm sorry if you can't but like I think I'm not I think if I could I'm not sorry if I could think myself into situations like if I think about being nervous I'll be nervous and I'll feel it in my stomach do you know what I mean so anyway so yeah I blew up the toilet blew up my boobs out I think I think you and Clarence firstly are at shitting stage yeah I think so too I think secondly I think you could you could you could punch with you could throw with the best of them so if you needed a shit I think you could be open and silly enough to be like I'm going to shit myself the gag is I need to shill the gag is I have a needle but like yes it was crazy and then so this M &S meal deal let me down the bang bang chicken bang bang into the loo I feel like we need an M &S collaboration meal yeah the bang bang chicken the bang bang chicken with the edamame beans did you see M &S did a collab with Aries Arise or whatever that clothing brand what?

26:35yeah they did a collab and the bag sold out immediately and it's been resold on vintage for 320 quid it was literally 70 pounds guys you need to let it go I did want the bag but I looked on vintage and I was like y 'all sick have you had the M &S strawberry lemonade? yeah it was in the fridge for bloody ages it was in the fridge for ages it's too sugary we actually would use it as cordial in the end and fill it up with water I think it needs booze is what it needs. Yeah, yes. And speaking of booze too, we've had a chat. Yeah. And it's time for you to stop. No, I do actually need to stop now. You need to put the bottle down.

27:10Yeah. We're tired of you leaving Bill with black eyes and bruised balls. Okay. God, and that's just sex. Just because he's wearing a Marvel dressing gown doesn't mean he's your little play thing. Okay. As Louis came in today, literally me and Bill haven't seen Louis in ages. He came in, Bill was so excited that he turned around and said Lou look at this and he had no underwear on and just like flashed Louis and Sue was just hanging out the back of him yeah my fist just in it kidding but he just showed Louis his bum which was lovely it was cute it was nice we got closer in that instant yeah but you've said again that you need to stop drinking I know it's actually getting boring someone's probably just like girl go to AA but like but when it's good it's good when it's not it's just like there was like the All Saints party and then there was a different party then there was a premiere and then just from there it's been a bit roly roly biscuit Not to give them too much free promo, but we do like the woman who invited us to the All Saints thing.

28:00And I obviously wasn't able to make it. Yeah, shout out Charlotte. What are All Saints up to? It was so fun. So I got a couple of photos. Firstly, it looked incredible. Thank you. Rowan showed me on her phone while we were at the festival. I faced you in the fuck out of that picture. Did you see it? It's so bad. Actually, I looked back on it the other day and I was like, woof, do you want another one? Is that mine or is that yours? Whichever, you can both. Okay, cool. But yeah, it was really fun. My friend Molly's working there at the minute. Love Molly Shout out Molly So we saw Molly And my friend Tom's Working there as well So is All Saints cool again Basically Yeah but they've got A really nice team in I used to wear I used to wear All Saints When I was They got on another event Next week 16 Yeah It's back It's back Baby Okay Yeah sick Really thanks for coming Thanks for having me No What Thank you for having me All Saints And Angel McQueen Has been staying here The last two weeks Oh yeah my friend Angel's Been staying Angel give a woo Angel's been Angel's been here for nearly two weeks right?

29:00Ten days I don't know and we've had a lovely time so just had she's given my boyfriend a gorgeous fade so Bill's looking Lengu's oh Angel did that? yeah that looked incredible yeah it looks fabulous are you happy to admit that maybe that could be a stronger cut than the buzz or are you still no yeah no the fade's sexy that mirror pic yeah jawline i know i know it's good isn't it it's good i did take it finster things um

29:33but what do you want to talk about oh can i can i can i talk about what i want to talk about girls and i don't want to talk about ai so you can skip this skip to kidding um this is my thoughts i uploaded my story and actually thought this is more of a straight leave conversation okay because also it's a bit beggy to post on my story do billionaires have a mole kink because why would anyone want AI to work if the world will end because of it? Like, do the mega rich just want to live in a cave forever? Like a little mole. Kim Possible tease. Thank you. It arrives in a cloud of feathers with a cry to wake the dead.

30:09Espolon tequila. Balanced, delicious, perfect for nights out, nights in, and people who like to drink tequila. Just add ice, lime, and your mouth, then hold on time. 100 % agave, 0 % ego. Espolon Tequila for a real margarita. Ride the rooster. Espolon Tequila. 40 % alcohol by volume. 80 proof. Copyright 2026. Compel America. New York. New York. Drink responsibly. And we're back. Streaming on Peacock. May I present to you the award-winning staff of the Toledo Truth Teller. Slap me. Let's draw something loose. Ay, yes! I like that. The Certified Fresh Series returns. You're boss. You always like this?

30:46Or is this just an act? Oh no, this is mad. Oysters, everybody! There's a certain satisfaction when you work with someone. Maybe we could be a family. You sadistic pig! The Paper. New season streaming September 9th, only on Peacock. This show gives me a reason to laugh. I thought you meant like a Caroline Polo track. No, no. Door to another door, to another door. No, I mean... Welcome. No, but it's... all these guys have made ai these billionaire guys they're all like yeah it's gonna it's gonna destroy the world in 10 years it's gonna destroy the world humans are gonna be over could you stop making it then let's just take our hands off it you're just making it happen like i don't get it like surely at that point you're just like girl unplug it yeah it feels like it can only exist with data centers stop building the fuckers and i don't mean to be too woke but like isn't that crazy it's gonna end the world in 10 years and they're like yeah it probably will well then i think it's time we turned it off honey and then elon mussex has come out hasn't she and she's like he's trying to create a civil war and tried to pay me 40 million to not talk about this but she said no to 40 million now she's 40 million yeah 40 mil i'd have like grow up yeah tie me up let the war happen and he wants a fucking civil war i'm like oh it's just like you just let weirdos in do you like that like it's just like oh sue dude they're just weirdos like like just making things happen that they wouldn't go to themselves you can't war are you referring to also when your printer kills your girl curtains the guy who worked for it wasn't the big one yeah one of the 27 year old who's come out and gone like yeah we're all fucked yeah and i'm like yeah you made us fucked you weirdo i think it's just a 27 year old straight diva fan wanting to get their five minutes just turn the computer off girl yeah i don't know i don't feel like i wet what's the world's ending guys 10 years because we're going to get killed by a sim no thanks yeah 10 years that's accelerated a bit i thought we had at least like 25 yeah global warming we know he's gonna kill us in 40 but it's fine now because we're both in relationships so if the world ends it's just we'll just be in a good 10 years but if you're single though this is bad but ai you stop using it it's actually so fucking boring and like that's it that's all i'll say on it but all i just thought was like so you're doing this thing where you think you're going to survive in a bunker when the computers kill everyone so you're going to hide in a bunker like a little mole i don't think the computers are going to kill everyone personally i think we're going to be fine well yeah because i think now now that they're saying all this shit i reckon world leaders are just like yeah props turn it off and they're like you can't turn it off it's like so what if i turn it off though because that's the gag that you can't turn it off well delete all the data centers and take them down and then they're like oh you turned it off yeah gaggy honey you should do call me and me in 10 years when i get killed by a fucking computer because i like you dirty art bitch you should do comms for the resistance you should be head of digital marketing no i don't want to like i think that's boring but like you could be an influencer for the resistance i don't want to be too civil worried but the rich ain't safe like realistically if you're doing fuck shit like this thinking that we're going to be scared of computer girl i think you're gonna die honey and it's not me marching i'm not flying the flag honey i'm just like you can't tell everyone that gonna die in 10 years and then get mad when people get mad about it no but i um i think they think people are stupider than they are no for sure always throughout history anyway and you fuckers are stupid no i'm stupid how can we have like news things being like oh yeah in 10 years probably gonna die because of these like mad computers that we made and now i'm a billionaire so i'm just gonna hide in like an underground bunker like a little mole impossible it feels It's like technology is advancing.

34:34Also, how's it going to kill me? Just turn off my Wi-Fi? No, fine. Kill me by boredom. Oh, honey. Kill me by boredom. Kill me by changing my Wi-Fi password to... You stink123. Jordan Henderson 14! Yeah. But guys, I think it's all going to be fine. I hope so. I really think it's all going to be fine. As long as we still get to go to festivals and we can still do our music careers. Alexa play We Appreciate Power by Grimes That'll make the computers believe that we live with it I live with it Hey Siri, I love you Just say Hey Alexa, I love you Just so they know that we're on their side What do you think will be the first thing to go in the AI apocalypse?

35:16Well they just say that it's going to be like Countries using AI to shut down countries So then they have no power So they like shut everything down So they can get no food and resources Guys I don't know, who's got time? What are we doing? I'm trying to make TikTok But then it's the same with the nuclear bomb where it's like no one's going to nuclear bomb somewhere else because they don't want to get nuclear bombed like right because realistically now everyone's just gonna have like some nerd on the computer that's like oh they turned us off turn them off and then the nerd will be like oh yeah just whip up his hp netbook and he'll be like and then everyone's turned off and then we're all off the lights off i like the data play blackout by britney spurs um anyway i i too i wish i could have offered you more interesting discussion on this no but babe no one can but i've been at a festival i'm just like i don't know i'm not being like eat the rich but no they're not doing any but i guess they i think the the rich people are arguing that that this is all going to be fine it's the it's the people who are working within the companies that leave and then they're like I don't like the look of this and I guess you would say just turn it off then queen the CEO's yeah but the 27 year old who's leaving Palantir or whatever doesn't have the power to stop but like even when you were there right get the job go into a room they're like okay so in 10 years the canteen's amazing yeah the canteen's amazing everyone's sat there everyone's having like I don't know because like Google like they give you like Smarties for breakfast whatever having like a bowl of Smarties with your mates and they're like yeah in like 10 years we're just gonna like end the world like what for like and you're a bit rich we're so evil yeah like you can't use money if you ain't got it, honey.

36:50Like, do you know what I mean? Like, it's crazy. Like, I'm just like, we've let these like, let's be real, nerds. It's the same as like politicians. Who wants to be a politician? Not cool people. Do you know what I mean? Fucking weirdos. Like, rule the country. I put the tech nerds below the politicians. Yeah, do you know what I mean? And then you got these like tech nerd virgins like Elon Musk and people only want to fuck for his money, no shade. Watch it, I'll get shot to death now. Elon Musk, love you. Love you, Elon. Love you, Elon. Love you, Sue. Yeah. He's not bothered about me. No He should be He should be He should be He should be He should be He should be bothered About another transvestite His daughter Oh yeah Worry about her What's she up to Modelling Okay nice And making more of a stance So like good for her Okay great God Sunday lunches with the musk Guess who's jealous of Elon Musk Beyonce I fancy my older married colleague But he took me to the pub to do Psilocybin What's that Magic mushrooms Yeah okay Like he doesn't want to fuck you Do you know what I mean Like come on my nerve yeah he just wants to fucking check balls with you yeah don't you don't want to be the other woman well i mean and let's let's be real um also if you're like if you're married and your man's going to the pub to do psilocybin with his colleagues like leave that man yeah everyone's not he's not one you want well that spider that spider-man image where they're all like this that isn't that's everyone in that like okay so right let's look at the issues right with all the love in my heart she's got a man that's going to the pub with a colleague to do mushrooms with him.

38:16I don't think that's problematic in isolation. It's a bit loser vibes. It is a bit loser vibes. He's doing mushrooms with his colleague, not his wife because he's a loser. You're doing mushrooms with a married man and fancying him a bit. It's you. You're the other one pointing. Pointing your laptop and take him out. And you fancy this guy. You don't want this guy, babe. I bet you're lovely because you're listening to this podcast and I bet you're beautiful and you're amazing, but my love like so you try and being in a married in a married relationship for 20 years and then maybe you want to take magic mushrooms with your colleagues maybe at that point it's like magic mushrooms with my friends let alone my colleagues yeah girl that's shit okay well so i can sit and watch like a pig video magic mushrooms the other day and i just got into a really like spoiled brat mood oh it's just like being really childish and having like a tantrum which is like obviously magic mushrooms can make you feel like quite childish and infantile but like more in a useless like having fun way yeah whereas i was like you know when louis had field it said brat was like his top thing being a brat i never got the tag thanks for sponsoring us field all those days ago yeah um fuck him or leave it um a straight guy has at the office has been flirting with me a bum boy relentlessly four months what do i do try to fuck him say do you want to fuck me and if he says no then that's that don't play don't play around with straight people's games if you can't admit that he wants to shag you I'm like are you trying to fuck me and then if he's like no no they're like alright leave it then stop fucking floating with me grab his balls from behind in the stationary room babe it's 2026 got 10 years left you might as well try it and so do you want to sharpen this yeah yeah yeah I'm the sharpener now put a pen in me put a pen in me um guys let us know in the comments what was the first thing you put up your bum Mine was a pen.

40:10Mine was my doctor's finger. Okay. Mine was a pen. A pen? Why? I don't know. I just fancied it. So I just put a pen on my bum. I think I must have realised I was gay. I think I was probably what you gave me. Thin and angular. It was. It was a hard tip. And then I just had to like bin it. Did a bit of poo poo come out? Probably. Boyfriend's music taste makes me cringe. Brackets. Oh right. You're going to delete it. No, I'm going to delete that last bit. Okay. Louis just said your name by the way. So we're cutting it. boyfriend's music taste makes me cringe please don't say it's me you have such good music taste for a girl that's an absolutely awful thing to say sorry but you know each other but I'm not having it no I'm not saying that I'm saying that's the ultimate ick a guy could say in fact they covered it in this episode 2 of Fleabag that I watched last night her icky ex-boyfriend is like so much more switched on than and other girls.

41:06Oh. And my version of that is when people say, oh my God, you got such good music taste for a girl. God. But in your case, insert name here, this is tough for me because that's like, music taste is one of my top five things that I look for. Like how bad's bad? Yeah. Like, cause if it's like a bit cringe, like no. Is it like central C and it's like, that's kind of funny. what's guilty about pleasure exactly what i don't think there's any guilty pleasure although then you know maybe so he would be bad if it's like xxs testation and like all the other me fuck on me look at me fuck on me and when he did that um cypher for thingy xl what is it xxl and i was like wow i was like girl he turned the music off and went down on his knee honey Me when I get married, honey R.I.P.

42:07honey She's dead I mean I'm a 1975 fan And a lot of people find that cringe Only you know It can be grouped alongside all other icks But for me this is an important one on the ranking So like I don't want to get dragged to the I mean I would just never date someone who was into Tom Grennan, obviously, but I don't want to get dragged to the Sombra concert. That's something I couldn't tolerate. That's a non-negotiable for me. I just wouldn't go, but I wouldn't mind if my partner liked them. Yeah, that's funny. You're taking me out. But then I guess if they're like, Can I First Dance Be The Ordinary by Alex Warren, then you've got to be like...

42:51No. For sure. But does Bill like any music that really cringes you out? Not really, no. He actually really does have a really nice music taste. I think if anything, together, our music taste is more basic than ever. Right. You met in the middle. You met in the lowest common denominator. Yeah, mine's really basic now. Yeah. I don't think Rowan has any music taste that is like, oh my God, that's like, actually Fat White Family. But that's more of a teenage thing. But that's more, yeah. Didn't Lady Gaga put them on? I saw an interview somewhere. It was Lady Gaga that put them on. No way. Yeah, because they were playing in New York.

43:30Wow. Did I lie? Have I just lied? That would line up time-wise. Did I lie? Did I lie? But yeah, ultimately, it depends how cringe the music is and how important it is to you. But if it's Mumford and Sons, probably break up with him. Yeah. How to deal with end of summer blues. Keep the summer rolling. Yeah. Just keep it rolling. Well, you know what you need to do? You need to book something in your October that you're going to look forward to in November. Yeah, winter sun. And it doesn't have to be a holiday, but it has to be something fun. It has to be something that is just going to give you a North Star to look towards.

44:06Maybe it's a massage with your uncle. Maybe it's a walk in Finsbury Park with the drug addicts. Without your jacket on. Yeah, at night. Alone. Alone. With a kiss. But listening to... Sunshine. I just made that up. I don't know what song I'm doing. Or listening to Cheerleader. Oh, I think that I found myself a cheerleader. I reckon you could listen to that in a dark night with no jacket on and it would be like end of the night summer vibes. What are you sort of planning your autumn with to give you a sort of hope? My sold-out show at the waiting room where night two has just been released. Buy a ticket, please.

44:53That and making music, really. Where's the waiting room? The waiting room is in Islington, I think. Stoke Newington. Stoke Newington. same thing similar um what am i doing just like hungry because i get a seasonal depression and i don't realize i'm depressed until it becomes sunny again yeah and also my home doesn't have any like natural light true um so uh but i still love it obviously yeah not dogging it i love her but um this is the first first end of summer i haven't felt depressed in so long but i think that's because everyone's really busy at the minute i feel like no one's even noticing some ago Also this was like The hottest summer ever That I felt like Was quote unquote Not in a rude way A tiny bit unenjoyable With how hot it was I think it got a really bit It got a bit weird It did get a little I kind of loved it though No it got a bit too hot Yeah And I was like Palm reflection Yeah palm reflection Like everyone in winter Is now going to be like We need AC for next year And then what should be like 27 degrees on here Yeah But maybe like a Maybe you could lose some weight You could do with some Losing some weight I don't know I know I'm sorry I haven't looked at a picture of you I was just joking it's just silly but there's only so many things you could do you could plan a holiday if you can't afford a holiday you plan Christmas if you can't plan if you hate Christmas and you hate your family get into health or get into work pick up a hobby maybe it is time you pick up pottery no one should ever lose weight no no I'm actually bored of seeing all these people on peptides and their face look really sunken oh but I could though oh god no I think they look awful I think people are looking skinny like but it's like it takes out your face so then your face is like you look gaunt like you look awful yeah but like good for you girls obviously yeah obviously enjoy it enjoy it and masturbate as well yeah loads of masturbation I've been loving a masturbate at the minute um evil ex and haven't spoken to him what evil ex and haven't spoken to in years has moved in immediately next door to me what the fuck girl run it's time to run there's nothing you can do other than run or knock down ginger or if you're from the north knock a door run knock a door run yeah knock a door run when someone else calls it like something knocking like is it like bobby knocking or something like that come by and we're playing knock a door run knock a door ginger knock a door run what are the other words to knock a door run someone from like scotland's going to be like bang on the door die bitch or like from south they're going to be like oh we can't play that silly little game it's like there's like the um the divas at school that were pussies and didn't celebrate halloween remember those like we don't my mom doesn't let us do halloween girl boring bye and it's not a religious thing it's not a religious thing yeah when people like oh they made it a bit religious i was like halloween's not religious anymore i'm sorry guys it's about getting free sweets exactly let your kids have some like i understand if you don't do holidays but i just think halloween's just a fierce holiday like they've just made it up like what is it but in answer to your evil ex moving three doors down yeah i would okay you can either move if you can't move you have to take this as an opportunity to become the baddest bitch alive and every time you leave the house you know that you're going to look good and you're going to walk with purpose and the headphones are going to be in buy yourself a nice new coat yeah trench coat and you know what that applies to the end of summer blues as well get a trench coat that's really the only way out this is to look good oh queen oh queen oh someone said hey hey oh wow okay there's one big one then should we finish it yes I just want to check your phone has it gone off on your phone gone off on your phone oh it's a picture of me yeah that's what I put on a story baby oh amazing also can I just say before we do the final one my lovely friend Louise here is going to be taking a break for two weeks so I will be running this account from now on I'm the captain now honey I'm once you're a daddy honey so we will be having a special guest next week but to co-host we are having drumroll please Espolon Tequila it arrives in a cloud of feathers with a cry to wake the dead Espolon Tequila balanced, delicious perfect for nights out, nights in and people who like to drink tequila just add ice, lime and your mouth then hold on time 100 % agave, 0 % ego.

49:22Espolon tequila. For a real margarita, ride the rooster. Espolon tequila, 40 % alcohol by volume, 80 proof. Copyright 2026, Compelio America, New York, New York. Drink responsibly. I'm Glenn Washington, host of Snap Judgment, the award-winning storytelling podcast from KQED. Every week, Snap deals a new card, like the girl whose sister was a monkey, or the man who lived in the woods for 30 years, or even the woman who snuck her lover out of prison in a dog crate. Pick a card. Any card. Tap to listen now to Snap Judgment from KQED on Spotify.

50:05Harry Styles! Harry Styles! No.

50:12It was Bill Milner from Don Quirk. Woo! So we're having Bill. so over the next two weeks you will be having pandiva um pandiva um so it'll be me and bill hosting straight leave of two weeks as louis takes a well-deserved and lovely break louis been working very hard this year i'm not even gagging out you do really really no cap honey um you do really hard and i really appreciate you do too and i really appreciate you too and i'm so grateful that you're holding it down without me but we're also inviting another guest on next week who we can't reveal who it is if you're on the patreon it was slightly revealed um but it'll be me bill and this special guest um but it will be magic it's gonna be magic and it and it's our the only clue i'll give is it's probably better that bill's there than me it's that sort of guest so do with that what you will yeah do with that what you bill um hey i started accutane nine weeks ago for my mild but persistent acne it's purged really badly and i'm in the thick of it right now it's all pretty scary at the moment since i'm not sure when the purge will stop and whether that there will be scarring on afterwards this is my worst skin has ever looked and i'm literally about to go back to uni i'm really hard leaving the house without makeup and you can still see it even if you wear makeup and i really don't look like myself at the moment any tips on how to get through this period where everything just feels like a lot and it's girl i could speak on this for hours honey i had really bad acne all my life since i was like 14 and i didn't even notice about it until i went to the doctors because i had lymph nodes because mom's got lymphoma so i was like oh my god i need to check my lymph nodes they were like oh yeah yours are raised because you have acne and then they told me then then i noticed it and anyway long story short i went on accutane when i was 18 stopped doing it because i like to drink and then at 22 i went on it again and it was the worst flare upon my life similar to what you're saying right now um because it does it gets bad before it gets worse and then as you come off i don't know did you have a final purge like my skin was all clean and when i came off it when i came off i had a flare-up and i was like oh my god it didn't work and then it and then it closed up again so it's very interesting it is crazy it really fucks with it really does fuck with you but what i will say is like it will it does get better but it does get worse obviously scarring there's lots to do with scarring i have been talking to michael a wonderful listener if you listen michael love you who owns a skin clinic in birmingham oh wow and i sent him a photo of my skin because i was like yeah because i all the skin clinics in london are weird so i said weird being the fact that like who do you trust also you're gonna have to pay loads of money for someone just look at your skin so i messaged him and i was like michael please what do i need and he was like you need three skin peels and your skin will be like basically like not scarred that's it yeah you can get surgery there's so much do not worry about scarring there is so much as long as you're moisturizing looking after your skin whilst it's going through this moment i guarantee there will be it could be a skin peel it could be a co2 which is a bit intense but it's fine it could be some people have to get like quite intense surgery but there's surgery they're out for you like you will be able to get through the scarring process how much is a scampion?

53:10not that much so we should go to them and do it together because it's not even like gifted I am going to pay for it because his friend he owns a skin clinic but he can't do the skin peels he's recommended so he sent me the clinic but yours isn't yours is less bad than mine I would say no it's not we've got the same my cheeks are quite bad so we've both been on Racket you've been on Racketane twice in your life yeah twice yeah I loved it I went to Wreck-Tain once when I was 16, and it was probably the most insecure I've ever been. And, yeah, the flare-up is crazy. The lips were crazy for me. I loved it, though.

53:39I just love a bit of lip-solving. I was just slathering myself in Fucidin fucking H. But, in answer to your question, I guess, first of all, yeah, sincere condolences. Second of all, you're nine weeks in, so to stop now is just no point. Yeah, don't stop. You can't stop. You're in too deep, as it were, as some 41 would say. But one, it's funny. It will just get better. And when it does, you forget what it's like to have it. But I know how you're feeling. I could show you photos. Mine was so bad. It was like mountains. But it is, let's acknowledge that it is a really bad time for you. When you're back at uni, you want to feel hot, obviously.

54:19But yeah, I mean, I wore foundation at school as a 15-year-old. Oh my God, I didn't know that. It was so bad And it didn't do much It was just like Just made all the spots A bit less Like less red Yeah But they were still bulging Oh my love But there's not really much You can do unfortunately You just have to keep The show going on Until it gets better But also Radical acceptance Of what's going on And knowing that you're going Somewhere and you're travelling Like because my I was in therapy When I went on it Second time And she was like And what if it doesn't work Like you need to know That you're beautiful inside So maybe It's a thing Because what actually Makes beautiful Isn't your fucking looks do you know it's not like we're all gonna get fucking old and baggy like it's what's inside so keep reminding yourself like i'm beautiful inside and now obviously you're still beautiful outside but ultimately it's what's beautiful inside honey because my therapist was like yeah you could get all the work done it kind of did change my life a little bit especially with like being a tiny like you could get all the work you've done and whatever but like you're still gonna be unhappy if you're unhappy about yourself exactly so but you could get trench coat but you could get a trench coat you could get a trench coat and that will help a lot and also yeah just know that the sort of contrary to what you just said even though i do believe it the the more clapped you get now the more fit you will be yeah like literally within the year you'll have the clear skin ever and i'll be getting clapped is only just a means to the glow up yeah and then everyone will be like rah like where have you come from where have you come from you fucking blossoming tulip and you're like i was literally sat next to you in second year but i'm in third year and i got a banging skin caked yeah in whiteheads it happens get the little star stickers as well just put them oh yeah over your face also you've used to i'm literally looking at a photo of you literally stunning babe you've got it just keep going keep pushing through yeah just look after your actual inner ultimately ultimately you're nine weeks in so you should stick with it because yeah because like you've you've put in this much work now um give it a little longer but also only thing with rectane lastly is i never had any depression problems which you can get did you get them?

56:21No. Whenever they say depression side effect I never get depression. Yeah but that is a big thing about it so if that's happening that's a separate issue you should seek medical help. But otherwise just get a trench coat just get a trench coat my lovely. Thanks for listening everyone love you lots. Thank you for dealing with the late post I know we've been busy lately but we love you and we will be back. I will be back next week with Bill Milner and a special guest. wow say thank you Sue say thank you Aunty Sue thank you Aunty Sue and thank you Aunty Lou and enjoy your rest Louis everyone say everyone comment below the number five if you wish Louis a lovely rest aww forget no farts

57:18Thank you.