fear and loving in east london

0:00From athletic stuff like a full court pick up game, swish, to athletic stuff like a half mile stroll. Get those steps in. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it. Where do you keep the calm that you'll fill me with? Hi, Sue. Hey, Louise. How are you? Good, thank you. How are you? I'm gorgeous. Thank you. I'm thinking I'm a bit sick. Yeah? Yeah, I'm sneezing all morning. What's up? What's your symptoms? Well, I hung over. However, I think it's just mommy's first hangover because I was, don't know if anyone knew this but I was sober for like nine days okay 12 days apart from that one glass of chilled red you had oh you grass you grass alright fine I was sober for like three days because I did have a glass of chilled red because the bottle was open and that wasn't my fault oh hello Sophie and resuming drinking hasn't quite been the do you just want to fucking squeeze them yeah I want to squeeze your ribs off crush them yeah I also have that with lovers where you just want to like and bite them.

1:10But yeah, feeling a bit peaky blind, I've got a headache. What was happening last night? Oh, I'm so glad you asked. I had a gig last night. It was the first of hopefully many shows under my new record deal, management deal. And it was like the launch of my new single Hit Me Now, which is out today. Obviously when this comes out, it'll be out a week maybe. Yeah, it's all bloody good The show was a resounding success Thank you, thank you for coming Sue sung her heart out I did, there was a few technical issues Yeah, Avalon Cafe for those that aren't familiar is in the depths of South Bermondsey It really is a depth as well I love it You're right by Millwall Stadium, The Den You're right by some weird factories And you're by MOT You buy MOT For those that know It's London's answer to Berlin Hell Yeah we were there There were people to blame Yeah There were people For the technical issues For the technical issues Yes However I don't think that There's a point blaming anybody However My beautiful band played well Big Soft played well Yeah Unfortunately due to technical issues The fucking Click click for the drum stopped mid-set and so my gorgeous dan had to who's on drums had to um make up for it and then it was just a horrible kind of like accumulation of lack of care from certain individuals you can't do their job properly not dan or my band just people ponder sound desk no offense to that no offense to that person but what i've learned is actually in those moments bill was actually talked about it yesterday and i agree with him i should be more of a diva i'd be like you look we will pay you please just leave the sound desk no shade yeah because i think not to like mansplain or anything but like everyone there that was in that room is a producer or a musician for a long period of time like just oh it was a it's it's annoyed me now because i was I didn't hold my own I should have like it was my night well I think externally you did externally I did but before I think I could have been more clear the minute we started Soundtrack and I was like this is going to be a shit show I don't know how it's going to be a shit show I didn't realise it would be the the click from the drums that would go but shit show and like James this morning my beautiful guitarist he messaged me he was like after the gig like there was so he looked behind like the desk and like so many things like why like it was a fucking mess basically technically the night itself resounding success and like there was free merchandise like a lot of people came down like yeah and not that the show was bad anyway because the show was amazing and like we smashed it and i feel really really honored and blessed and i think people were entertained it was just like there was like a five minute interval where they're trying to get this click going and louis got up on stage You just chatting absolute there.

4:22I did a bit. I did a gag about the footpath from Surrey Quays being closed, having to walk past the den. I felt like I was in a Geezer film. Yeah, you felt like I was on Green Street. I felt like I was on Green Street, which is actually the wrong football film because that's about West Ham. Oh, is it? I'm sure many of our listeners are huge fans of those films. Yeah. But I said to you last night, I feel like you could do a gig to five people that you've never met with no backing track or no band and it would still be good. Well, I think that was a thank you. But it felt like that. Like it was like, that was my feeling.

5:02I was like, even if it goes tits up, like I'd literally, essentially what was happening during the sound check was like feedback from the mic. And I was like, do you know what? Genuinely, I would just put the mic fucking down if it starts feedback and during the set and just sing. I got there and Sue's manager, who is brilliant, the best, was like, yeah, we had a few hiccups. Sue's currently gone back to hers to get a lamp. Because we did set design. Yeah. And then they did that. Yeah, we did set design. The team got a set design sorted, which was amazing. And it was actually really fierce. however we put up a curtain and it turns out Avalon Cafe does backlighting not front fucking lighting it was giving because everybody that plays at Avalon Cafe doesn't want to be seen that would be the last time I actually would my chest that would be the last time I play at Avalon Cafe we're levelling up it's a great place it's a great venue it's a great place I've sold it a couple times but like it's that thing it's like I'm ready for it to be a thing of the past it's a DIY spot no shade all the staff that work there are lovely I've been DIY for too many years yeah exactly I think it's not that Get Me To A Mirror Yeah Ooh Scala Alternet Ooh Alternet That would be cool O To Islington Okay See you in October But what So I feel like To paint the picture For people who weren't there Paint There was like Stop Please Yeah there was like Five to seven minutes Between a song of just like we don't know what we're doing and sue just had to fill time it was like it was like it was like stand up it literally was and you were doing great but the crowd you were like just asking the crowd questions and like getting not much back i was like come on guys so then i asked you i was like okay i need to i need to feed sue something here yeah so then i said what keeps you up at night and i feel like that maybe wasn't the best question to ask What did I say?

7:04Straight emo? Yeah. But what, I feel like that is a lot of people's absolute worst nightmare. Like, technical difficulties, performing, what's going through your head when you're in that situation and you're like, okay, shit, we just got to keep it rolling. I think it's the thing of like, I don't mind doing it when I have something to talk about. If someone gives me a topic, I'll talk for days. But when it's just kind of like, we're all just waiting and always giving me a topic, I was like, girl, I don't know. like but it was fine you came up you saved me then we had a giggle for our listeners it's maybe like when you're doing like a powerpoint presentation and like the bluetooth keyboard is disconnected or something and you just got to tell them what maybe that's like an analogy that would make sense for people like who obviously aren't you know performers or do you know i really love what this yeah it's the fact that like when we started doing this this didn't happen and it's like we turn on the camera genuinely and then she'll just come down well yeah and the podcast has massively fallen off but we just have a cat now so it's still good are we falling off chat?

8:05we're just not posting enough clips but we're going to be back and we're not nurturing our patrons enough but we're going to do it we have by the time this is out a Q &A episode will be on our Patreon which involves questions exclusively asked by our patrons for our patrons patrons? whatever and it's going to be great yeah it is so in in other happenings this week Sue I think yeah Ozzy Osbourne passed away died but do you know who was born Aquaman okay Trisha Paytas always at the forefront of culture she's about Aquaman she's amazing and she's had four three kids three kids Malibu the other one an Aquaman who's the father do we know anything about him yeah she does vlogs him he's called he's lovely he's a I think he's a furniture designer oh wow interior designer I think he's called Moses Moses supposes his toes are roses never but were you a big fan of the Osbournes I feel like it was a bit before our time Yeah, like I wasn't Love though And it's a shame I have a clip It's weird because it's like though He was like 70 I don't think 70 Like 80s when you die And he did a show 16 days ago A farewell show as well And He really said I'm gone And his parting gift Was a guest appearance From Youngblood That's Pete But I A really great Ozzy Osbourne clip came up on my feed and I just want you to react to it.

9:58What's it like being a living legend? Kids out there think you get a guitar, you make a hit record, you make millions of dollars and you just live happily ever after. It isn't that way at all. It's like very hard work, very hard break. You get your rewards and things, you do get a lot of things like gold, these platinum, these cars, houses, and then you've got things like divorces, management ripoffs, fatigue, drugs, alcohol, you know, hangovers. You've got to go on the next one. You've been up with all my burning. He looks dreadful on that. No offence to know his dad. It's good to be back on stage again.

10:31You know, you're feeling like crack inside. I very often ask them, what do they think That's a nice kettle. If I wasn't rock and roll. He's in some gorgeous Los Angeles house. Why is that? I just wanted, I didn't want to get a regular job. I couldn't conform to any system. I didn't want to get a job at a... I had several jobs in factories and, you know, different jobs. But rock and roll has got this sort of outlawish thing with it. You can do what you want and you don't have to get up and lift up some big, fat, baldy old fart telling you to take this box and stick it over there. So tell me about what happened when all of a sudden you got rich and you could buy everything you wanted.

11:09Well, what happened? It didn't work out exactly. It's making bacon and eggs. No, really. And it looks fucking rank. We went out and bought trash cars and everything. Looks like my mum. Don't be rude to your mum He looks good He doesn't look good, babe He looks absolutely harrowing He looks like he's dead there

11:35Oh, turn it off I'm out of it in general. I'm basically having a good time. You know what the funnest is? Because it's always suddenly realised one day, hey, we must be earning a lot more than this guy's actually giving us. So it's not all a pretty story. It's hard bloody work and you've got to be a businessman. And I'm not a businessman, you know. You know, I'm very fortunate to this day. My wife is my manager. She knows the business, but I... Shout out, Sharon, Sharon. I don't want to know it either. We came to America and we thought... Oh, it's a shame he's dead though, isn't it? Bacon's getting no colour.

12:08Apparently they had a suicide pact. Yeah.

12:15Proper rock and roll. Is there a conclusion to this? Can't remember. Okay. We'll do the whole thing. Two minutes 53. That'll fill some time. We can cut it if it's boring. It's inevitable. Disaster. It's like drugs. They were okay at the time. We had grudum, you know. We just, you know, we took LSD, we took cocaine, we took vast amounts of marijuana. Oh! Spilling his orange juice everywhere. Why would he do that? So you have a more stable life now? No. He's in a leopard print dressing gown. He looks frazzled. And I wanted to show you that because I think that's us after five minutes of micro fame.

13:00That's me after the show, yeah. You know, people think fame is like... Very heartbreaking. You get your rewards. I'm getting married. This is us. You do get a lot of things like gold, platinum discs, cars. I'd love a platinum disc. Then you've got things like divorces, management reports. I don't want a divorce. I do want to get married, though. You know, hangovers. You've got to go on the next one. You've been up with... This is us complaining about podcasting. Yeah. Honestly. But, like, don't you think he would have been so great with TikTok? Yeah. All these fucking musicians complaining about, oh, these artists didn't need to fucking make TikToks.

13:33they didn't need to have a personality, they just needed to make music. No. It's a shame he's dead though. Personality's always helped. And rest in peace Ozzy Osborne. For real. And welcome to the world, Aquaman. More importantly.

13:49I actually haven't heard any topics. We are fully living off Louise's. Yeah. I've really come in. I brought a weird mix this week. In other news, we haven't spoke about Charlie XCX and George Daniel getting married yet. Oh my God, yeah. I was kind of annoyed that I wasn't invited yeah me too like ceremony I get but party yeah was a little bit no ceremony is like literally around the corner for me now do you want to take me two minutes like Charles like it's fine what do you think of them getting married at Hackney Town Hall fierce that's what I want to do and then we're going to throw a big party so where do you you want to get married at Hackney Town Hall yeah okay but I wanted to do before Charlie did no shade Charlie so you would still do it Yeah Where else is on the shortlist To get married Chelsea Town Hall It is nice there It is gorgeous That's where I live Oh really So you live near that one That's where I grew up In Chelsea Town Hall Fuck off I'm joking I was like No you didn't Grew up in Penge

14:54Okay But yeah I think she looked fab Archival Vivian Westwood I think She looked amazing But I would get married there And then we'd have to I mean we know too many people would have to throw like a huge party like at least 500 we know too many people we do that rolling all swing around about fucking loads of groupies like the party would be huge like her party was at ellie's wasn't it my friend lauren had i don't know her thing at ellie's it's nicer did you see the picture of them sipping orange wine with the line bikes in the background they are good i think that's maybe the picture of 2025 yeah i think we'll look back on pop culture There's a few photos of me, but...

15:31Well... Well... Okay, so you would get married at Hackney Town Hall. Yeah, where would you get married? I would get married at Obeech Ibiza. With Wayne Lineker. Yeah, with Wayne Lineker being the pastor or whatever, reading our vows. Yeah. Yeah, we don't read each other's vows. Wayne Lineker reads both vows. And he's just had his lip filler renewed, so he can't actually talk out of his mouth. Yeah. Well the thing about The thing about Louis and Elsie Who's Elsie? Elsie's a made up woman That I just made up You cheeky fucking git Which one's that? You think I'd name You think I'd name love interests On the podcast I mean we can Shut up I'm joking I'm joking Okay so you'd get married At Hackney Town Hall What song would be playing As you walk down the aisle?

16:20Oh I want to get married To Haya by Brianna Ooh This lipstick's got me No This liquor's got me feeling pretty. You know what? That's not right. This whiskey got... Sorry, Bill? It's whiskey. It's whiskey. It's whiskey. What do you think about Haya being our wedding song, Bill? From athletic stuff like a full court pickup game, swish, to athletic-ish stuff like a half mile stroll. Get those steps in. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it Did you hear that? Mine would be Latch by Disclosure You'll lift my heart out When the rest of me is down Performed by Matt Cardle Yeah Or You Want Me by Tom Zanetti One Got a unique swag and I pull it off.

17:27Give me any baseline and I kill it off on the SoundCloud. You do have a unique swag. Where would you go on your honeymoon? Any ideas, Bill? Honeymoon ideas.

17:42Bora Bora. Bora Bora. Bora Bora is so far away. Isn't that absolutely nothing to do there? I guess you don't want to do much on your honeymoon. But that's the point. Right. Other than suck and fuck, isn't that right, Bill? And you could perform your song about fucking on a beat. You could perform Eat Me Up. Yeah, I could. Whilst you said Eat Me Up, Sophie just bit me. Ouch, Sophie. You bit my finger. Where would you go on your honeymoon? Marbs or... Fuck off, man. Barley. Canggu, Bali.

18:18Marbs. Such a knob cheese. Proper good crumpet there. Yeah. I had a crumpet this morning. I'd three With honey I'm kind of obsessed I'm not having a No Crumpets have to be savoury Nope Yeah they do That's invite Caked in butter Yeah Butter and loads of honey on it No I like a A sweet Crumpet I keep doing that With my voice Crumpet You've been at too many Annoying parties Yeah so you can't get me Now can you What would people be drinking? White Claw, probably. What about you? A vodka. Nice. Mixer cans, pre-mixed cans. Yeah, yeah, the gold ones. That's really nice, babe. And what would you be handing out for free?

19:09Because obviously Charlie stole your thing. Wait, you didn't do it. No, we didn't do it. Is it because it's not allowed or something? No, no, we just never got around to doing it. Sue wanted to hand out cigarettes. Did Charlie do bars of cigarettes? Yeah. God, she's good. She is good. I think they were Vogue's. Not so good. I actually don't like Vogue. What? Give me a fucking Marlboro. Right, you want to fucking rip. I want a cigarette. You want to rip that shit. Yeah. You want the full fucking cock. Yes, I do. What about you? What would people, what would I be handing out? Party bags. Swiss roll.

19:42What would I be handing out? Fig rolls. Fig rolls. Jam rolly-bolly. Oh yeah, you're rich doing it. Fig rolls. Fig rolls rich? I'm obviously kidding.

19:55What would I be handing out? Shades Shades My mum and my brother Used to eat them so much I love them I hate them Jammy Dodgers? Love Anything that has fruit in I just don't like I used to Come back from school When I was 14 And eat a bagel Yeah With salami Bagel And like 15 custard creams Easy Babe I floor Oreos I think that was where My binge eating maybe started I love a binge I'm going to have binge eating That's the reason why I'm staying in That's our miss. It is your gig tonight, but I'm not going to come. No, that's a new song. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Such a banger. I'd be hanging out shades and straight diva crop tops.

20:38Everyone, everyone has to put on a crop top. Yeah. For the dance.

20:45And people would be eating. Can you tell? I'm really dying. Yeah. But it's all part of the bed. What do they talk about? They don't really talk about anything. I know. It was meant to be about, like, straightness and queerness, but it's actually... Yeah, we should talk about that. What should we talk about it? I don't know. Have you ever douched? Never douched, no. Right, that's it. We've done it. Is there anything you, like, don't understand about straight people that you really, like, want to know? No. Not really.

21:19Do you know Du Bois? genuinely straight men, do they know what they're doing when they abuse women? Wow. Do you know what I mean? Do you know when you're being a bell sniff? Do you know that you're doing that? Bell sniff? Do you know that you're doing that? Do you know what I mean? Sorry, it's not funny. I mean, you shouldn't have said bell sniff when you asked such a serious question. But do you know when boys manipulate women? Do you get taught that? Or are all the boys like, look, I've got her like a dickhead? I'm going to be real with you too. I don't knowingly have any male friends who are abusers okay but if I had to tap into the darker parts of my male psyche do they know yeah I would say yes I would say they just put their feelings above that's horrid but you know look am I reinforcing the patriarchy?

22:18maybe maybe am I aware of it yes so it's fine okay fair good for you girl yeah as long as you're aware of something yeah it's fine you know my dad was in the KGB my dad you know works for the home office and deported loads of immigrants KGB were the secret police in the Soviet Republic your dad didn't work for the home office did he no my dad worked for universal music yeah he did But no, as long as you're aware of your kind of flaws or privilege it's fine and then you can just keep being privileged I think, or an abuser in this case So that's how straight culture works We're only joking about this because I was abused when I was 32 years old I'm really sorry I survived it didn't I What do I want to know about queer lifestyle?

23:10How do How do people How are the gays so good at fucking and staying friends? I don't know Because you've never done that I don't know You've done it a little bit I've done it a little bit

23:28Why is it so much more common? Because I think gays are so petrified of a commitment Because they don't love themselves Wow I was going to go for a different theory Okay Which is that the community is smaller Yeah So it's like you've got less places to run to. It's two things. It's like I think either gays don't love themselves or the opposite end of things where they like say that like they're creating a new type of love because it's queer love and it's like completely different from regular love, which is an extra sexual love, which is like, you know, you stay with one person and that be the thing.

24:03But I think it's like two things. I think it can be that. But then when people say that, you usually find out that they're incredibly damaged people from their upbringing. in and then you kind of realize that they're fucking for validation and also because they're broken so okay it's a task yeah but i think that's the hardest thing i think especially a lot of my queer friends especially on like on dating apps popular dating apps i'm not going to name names anymore because i'm not sponsoring us um but on popular dating apps like they find it hard to like differentiate whether somebody is being like it's starting to rain uh oh quite heavy actually and we will resume this yeah in a second immediately sorry about that ladies and gentlemen where were we?

24:46talking about straight people no we were talking about how gays oh yeah don't love themselves but I think it's a toss up of both we've had to move inside because it's raining yeah but isn't this nice no shout out Bill honestly for the listeners we're in Bill's kitchen we've got some beautiful kind of non-descript art is that a vinyl? yeah sorry Bill, Jesus okay another question about gays yeah and correct me if I'm wrong but I think the gays are vile? yes, took the words right out my mouth no

25:35So much more comfortable And I say this as someone who is probably an oversharer myself Yeah So much more comfortable sharing Not even trauma necessarily But just like

25:49Like Dom for example Yeah, lovely Dom We We only met last night Got the train back together Kissed Kissed um uh but no we we were just speaking about dating yeah dating history but we just immediately got into it yeah and i don't know if that's a me thing but i also think i recognize it in a lot of gay people or queer people which is like um just a much stronger willingness to share like maybe what straight square people would just like as like why would you want to talk about that yeah yeah i think but then i think that's like to do with like knowing yourself kind of or at least so so the gays know themselves better well yeah because i don't think you choose to be gay it's the same like trans women like you wouldn't why would you choose this life for yourself so i think you have to know yourself because it's like you actively have to know that you're you have much more self-interrogation yeah like you're definitely that way to ensure that like if you're going to do this thing in which you could lose friends over family over you have to know yourself a bit more in my opinion great answer thanks that was beautiful spell discombobulated d i s c o m b u that's wrong discombob b o b u l a t discombobulated iridocycletus

27:30um so i think are you more motivated by fear or love um spite no this is my thing i'll speak to bailey who was writing my bio for my new single hit me then absolute goat uh absolute legend and i've known bailey online since i was like what 15 but like he was like what is the thing that keeps you going on and it's spite i think there's just this thing is like when i feel like people are like doubting me it makes me furious and spiteful and that is the only thing kind of what i'm realizing now is what like gaining everything i've ever wanted um and at the start of that journey of gaining everything i ever want like um i'm kind of like oh actually i don't have to be spiteful anymore but then who am i when I'm not full of spite don't know what about you I think fear I think fear of being old and regretting fear of like you're a Greta I don't fear of fear of being a pussy like with music like a lot of it like I love making music but So a lot of it, it's like, and I have to remind myself to enjoy it sometimes.

28:48And because I do enjoy it, but like you get so lost up in all the other stuff that, yeah. But I also think it's a great motivator because I'm like, oh, I really need to do this. Otherwise, I'm going to, I'm going to hate myself. For sure. I don't want to, actually, I do kind of want to perform like low key. Get it on. but no i think it's fear it's fear of being i sound like a fucking straight man i am one fear of being average i was gonna say yeah but you're not average well no of course not but only because i try so hard i'm trying so hard all the time i know it's exhausting knowing it do you find love motivating at all yeah but i have this thing i don't know if i said it before and i probably shouldn't have it but there's a song by katie gregson mccly where it's like love me too well i'll retire early but i'm like once i'm in love i'm just like like you put me on like pyramid stage of glass of rain of like where would you rather be it's like probably in bed with my wife okay but then i think that but then then like it kicks in then i'm like because as women we're taught that that's your most important thing and then i'm like no nurturing no do you know i mean i meant the most important thing yeah even though i love love so much but mmm yeah I feel like as much as I love love yeah I love money it's almost the antithesis of like motivation in a great way well I like stops motivation yeah like if I'm loved up like I can't I'm way yes productive yeah for sure which is I don't know though if you with somebody who can be as such a foundation for you yeah I feel very motivated by money and also there isn't love in like the literal sense of being in love there's like positive reinforcement like someone you love saying that they really liked your song yeah but i still think there's no motivator like fear or spite i do agree with you who are you proving wrong who is i don't really know honestly like like everyone's like my maths teacher when i was like 16 said i would never amount to anything it's like girl not there do they care i think it's just i think it's like a general thing of like just proving i could do it right i'll go and get a record to did that and then now i've done it i'm like oh actually no one cares yeah and it's completely arbitrary yeah so what isn't arbitrary why do you do it because you're trying to stack up all these m's yeah i think because i'm good at it yeah i know that it's like the only thing that i'm really good at do you what about you why do i do it yeah uh i think it's partly ego related yeah again it's like proving proving to myself that i can do something but i think the more i think i've said this on the before the more positive uh artistic answer is that i love the feeling of when a song is coming together i get my dick sucked i mean true it's i love the feeling of head in my own there are parallels for sure i mean basically at the end of the day sue we're trying to escape our conscious right we're trying to forget that we exist for a second and yeah head and uh like a great idea coming together and it's just flowing out of you and i mean just like the semen is flowing out of you um and sometimes it's stunted sometimes you know you have to work for it sometimes you do have to focus a little bit yeah but i just want you to focus on my love focus focus i just want you to focus on my life it's been a while since i used uh like head as an analogy for something It's good to have it back I nearly cried it was so beautiful

32:29What else happened Okay so I went to My new studio this week Yeah congrats Thank you Congrats The walls are pretty thin Not great for making music But Anyway In the toilet of said studio There's no loo roll Mind you I'm two iced oat lattes down at this point So I am So you're shat and bricks I'm What do they call it tortoising no tortoise heading uh in a real way and there's no role but for some reason i can't bring myself to ask the office manager yeah if there's any loo roll so you just have skids well no i just held it in for ages but i wanted to know do you have shame about needing to poo yeah yeah do you have shame do you have shame no how do you live with yourself yeah look at yourself um i do i actually hate it and actually if i am at home and i go for shit i will shower really yeah or we'll use like loads of wipes and then i just feel a bit dirty all day do you ever use wet wipes yeah we have loads yeah to wipe your ass yeah every time i hope you don't flushing them down the loo they're flushable ones baby you're not seen them they're literally you can get toilet you can get wet wipes that you can flush down the loo yeah flushable bill you know can you flush your wet wipes down the loo there's flushable ones do you want me to get them right now had to ask bill had to ask the man

34:09yeah i've already been humbled bro yeah oh the lights are big i'm gonna find them yeah flushable what does that mean for any gender

34:32oh I definitely do like more than two Bill do you have any kind of shame around the activity of pooing no at all pissing, shitting like we all got to do it my man my man well it's funny that we oh look at Sophie in the middle we all have to do it but Sophie doesn't because I came downstairs hanging out my house today and she's shitting in a litter box it was one huge two just stunk but animals have poo shame as well that's how you know it's a real fucking primal thing yeah dogs getting shy about pooing in front of you not looking you in the eye I if I'm shitting at your house Bill I You can go if you want If I'm shitting here Or if I'm shitting at anyone's house quite frankly I either turn up TikTok to full volume I put music on and I put the tap on I'll even I live here I'm clearly having a shout I just don't want you to hear it I don't want to be surprised I don't want to have shame about What?

35:40That's the cover of the poop Oh, I don't have, I thought you just coughed and I was like, you will. I don't have shame about shitting. We all have shit. However, the sound of it is what I have shame with. Okay. What about consistency? Not, mine at all, girl, IBSed booze, girl. Really? I'm an anxious diva. Aww. Also, I never get constipated. Really? Ever. I've got too, I'm too anxious. That's the one good thing about me. I don't think that's how it works. I've genuinely never been constipated. I'm not even kidding. I don't think I've ever had it. I've never had a hemorrhoid or constipation. I would say I'm living proof of anxiety and constipation coexisting.