haircare, ball flare, all's fair

0:28This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. 200 milligrams of caffeine and the power to burn body fat. Storm, energy for life. Storm Energy Blend helps boost metabolism, which in combination with exercise and a healthy diet helps burn fat. This product alone does not produce weight loss. Individual results may vary.

0:48This feels less professional than usual. We've got a gorilla pod. Sue's crying. On the air. Even though I told her not to.

1:00silly bent you alright? yeah yeah I'm good you shit it I knew you were acting am I as loud as you are on this recording? look we're both at 12.05 okay you think I'm you think I'm putting me down I actually try and make your voice louder usually do you? I try and elevate you can I hug a pillow to hide my boner? This is fucking hideous What is this? What? Yeah I don't know For listeners This bill has been We're in a different room today I hope it's not been It's probably something to do with Bill Because Bill's got the third And the other one One day I think I'm going to be challenged To not mention Bill in one episode No it's fine People need to chill out about Not talking about their Bill out Oh chill out Oh sorry Can I bill it?

2:00people need no people need to chill out about worrying about talking about their boyfriends or their girlfriends too much because love is love these days love is love and obviously you're gonna talk about your fucking insufferable boyfriend yeah nasty nasty boyfriend right yeah we're in a new spot old spot we're in jail this room this room reminds me of Tilly Norwood yeah personally what does it remind you of Lagoon from shame and how hot it was in that room when we filmed yeah and not just because I was in it it looked hot as well on the camera. It looked like foggy. Yeah, exactly. Milky. Good.

2:41How are you? Just take a second from that, actually. I am good. This week's been hell warmed up, but fine nevertheless. Do you like hell warm or cold? Cold, usually. How do you like your custard? I like a really hot custard. really hot-cost in a bit of cake. I'm enjoying sugar again. I'm back on it. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. I just thought, fuck me. I'd give up cigarettes. Yeah. I'm not drinking at the minute. You've got to have something. Yeah. Was it this week that brought it back? Yeah, I feel like it's been quite particular this week. I had dinner party. Well, not a dinner party. I just had a couple of people around for dinner last night.

3:17We just ate so much chocolate and ice cream. Lovely. What about you? I'm good. I have had a fun, productive week. that was intervened nicely by a hair salon experience. Yeah. At a lovely place called Crab Salad. Love Crab Salad. The Peckham one or the East London one? It's Highbury. I like the Peckham one. I haven't been. It's nice. I've never been in either, but it looks nice. It was spectacular. As someone who generally goes to a barber that's trying to be slightly more trendy than a normal barber, I really enjoyed the experience a consultation insane consultation separate things so they do sometimes do it separately I just did it when I got my hair cut which is basically like a therapy session for you to basically go like I want to do this and then they go like don't do that so I showed she said no to the bang she said no to like I wouldn't even know how to describe it it was kind of like frosted tips, but it was like patchy, like all over, kind of like a, not a leopard print, but if a leopard print was really messy.

4:36If a leopard print grew out, if you let that leopard grow, what could it do? What would it be capable of? Oh! Oh, like meow. But it was fantastic. Shout out to El and Keres. Thanks, El and Keres. they kind of had chemistry that I could only compare to Little Britain Torville and Dean Gerard and Alonso they like just knew where each other were Kate and Jerry Ant and Dec Salt and Pepper what's that kid Shannon Matthews and her parents

5:24Shannon Matthews I haven't had that name in a while they found it though so it was fine alive? yeah she was under the bed was she? but do you know like our beds with the drawers? yeah she was in one of those oh nice bed lucky yeah should have been so grateful going to bed for about a week fine and lucky they were brilliant they knew where each other were at all times nice and I got facts The only funny thing was that Elle my hairdresser said That she didn't give me a mod cut I was like I'm thankful you didn't give me a mullet Because I kind of gave Elle the keys I was like do whatever the fuck you want And she was like I'm just glad I didn't give you a mod cut And I was like Yeah no me too You gave him a mod cut my love And I'm happy with it And I got my mutton chops right now Yeah that's nice Masculine In a gay way Masculine in a gay way In a gay way.

6:21There was this one time you came around with your mod cut before. And it was so beautiful that I had to go home to tell Laura and just thought, Louis looked beautiful. Really? Yeah, there was this one time. It's like similar to now. There was this one time, I don't know what you were wearing, whatever. You just looked absolutely radiant. And I remember telling Laura, wow. Thank you so much. Louis looked gorgeous. Haircuts really do. You are a mod cut girl. Well, this is the thing, right? Because the mod cut is, you know, obviously a very trendy haircut. Yeah. But it does really suit my hair and head shape, crucially.

6:52I have a fat head. Bit of salt spray, you're laughing. Yeah, true. Cold cream every day. Yeah, which one do you use? Couldn't tell you. I get it from, I believe it's called Pax in Finsbury Park. Oh, a lot of gorge. But yeah, Elle and Karis took a shit on my barber's doorstep and threw away the key. Yeah, set it on fire. But that was the highlight of my week. Tell me about what the fuck's going on. you're gonna have to leave that comment i'm really sorry no that's okay what's going on with me um what has been going on with me i got my ball checked everyone about fucking time yeah because i was panicking because um obviously if anyone for people who aren't watching uh visually um audio description wise um i found a lump on my ball in january and really panicked me and I ignored it until March and then I was getting as one does as one does and then I was getting I was having a lovely fruitful time with my partner and I noticed my ball again and bonking yeah bonking and then basically I realised it was there and then I went and got it done I don't know if anyone's ever got their never I had to text my sister who I know who's got a never regions out at the doctors she usually just walks the reception gets funnier and it gets escorted out um joking she's uh she's got to get a funny check and she she's younger than me so she gave me some words of advice so i went in i was so embarrassed also i'm changing i've like changed my gender in my doctors but they clearly haven't updated it so it reads out your name so it's mr sue cricken and i was like right off i go went in explained my situation she started feeling my ball the worst thing was about it is it goes up and down my ball like it like it right some days it's big some days it's small and that's okay like my hemorrhoid it goes dormant and then it comes out to play yeah so it's very like that depending on the levels of activity yeah exactly exactly and so through it did that and on that particular day sis was hiding she was gone so she felt on my ball which i hate people touching my balls anyway you know people like i love when people will lick my balls i don't i don't like that i don't like that it's horrible um i really hate that uh just stick to the cocky yeah please stop it like don't people like i love when we're getting my balls like i'm like could not be me further from me anyway because it's like a dog well no it's just like i don't like it doesn't feel good it doesn't make me feel amazing it makes me feel like uncomfortable so anyway so she's feeling my balls and she was like where is it and then i had to like feel my balls show her and she was like okay so i've been sent for a um a uh ultrasound which i've had before on my lymph nodes before so i've got to get my cocky up one more time um yeah it was quite fierce like i'm really proud of myself i was really proud of myself but ultimately it was a mixture of like pride and then also like wanting to cry because it was just horrendous and no one wants to feel that they got something but you know what actually convinced me to go was i was just adrian lenker and i just thought what if this is ball cancer and i ignore this any longer and i won't get to hear the next adrian lenker record wow yeah i don't know what it was in me but i was like god there's so much i want to hear like charlotte sex's new album like adrian lenker's new album that's so much to live for so i was like okay no i need to get this sorted out hence why i went in the end um it reminds me of the time and i'm actually wearing the t-shirt to celebrate it reminds me of the time i had to go get my hemorrhoid checked out yeah and i i think spread cheeks at the doctors you go on your side and you're doing like a kind of a fetal position that's even worse i feel i'd rather be like i had some old bloke and i don't know if i i definitely had the cat's bum holes thing before that but that probably ruined it a bit more that definitely did okay make me um weird about mommy hollies the worst bit is though they have to get someone else in the room yeah i didn't have that yeah so they got and with mine you just like you just like wouldn't start like in and out in and out in a yeah yeah just like for like two minutes and then he started in and out yeah then he started like grunting and like whispering my name in my ear is that normal did yours do that yeah yeah yeah No, I'm not going to say that.

11:28And then the other person watching was like... Well, it was just embarrassing because it was clearly one of the receptions and then you've got to go out to the reception and be like, thanks, guys. Do you know what I mean? And clearly one of them had just been there whilst you're getting your ball tickled. It was... The thing is, though, because my ball went down, the issue was it looked like I was just going there to enjoy getting my ball torched, which is the worst thing in the world because I wasn't going there. Nobody was thinking that. I know, but I was thinking that. So did that And I was on a shoot yesterday So good, so good, so good New markdowns up to 70 % off Are at Nordstrom Rack stores now Stock up and stay big on shoes, tops, dresses, accessories And more must-haves for summer Join the Nordiclub to unlock exclusive discounts Shop new arrivals first and more Plus buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free Great brands, great prices That's why you rack Study and play.

12:28Come together on a Windows 11 PC. And for a limited time, college students get the best of both worlds. Get the Unreal College Deal. Everything you need to study and play with select Windows 11 PCs. Eligible students get a year of Microsoft 365 Premium and a year of Xbox Game Pass Ultimate with a custom color Xbox wireless controller. Learn more at windows.com slash student offer. While supplies last, ends June 30th. Terms at aka.ms slash college PC. Wait, hang on. One more question. Yeah. When do you know? When do you know? What's up? Did you know? Did you know? When do I know what? Sorry. What's up with your ball?

13:08Oh, I've got to go for a thingy scan. An ultrasound? Yeah. Oh, you didn't do that then? No, no, no. I've got to go hopped up. Fucking hell. Okay, well, it's good that you're doing it. And I would usually go about fucking time. I'm on my way. but I'm pretty bad at getting stuff checked out as well. Yeah, I really don't want to go, but I have to go. It's very nice, though, that you... It wasn't like a negative that forced you to the doctor. It was a positive. Positive, yeah, because I like being alive. I'd just be fuming if I died young. I was reading about Candy Darling this morning. Do you know Candy Darling?

13:44No. She was like this trans superstar in the Warhol group. She was an actor and she got lymphoma at 29 and died. it's dreadful yeah you can die in your 20s guys yeah so make sure you stay healthy yeah thank you you know by all means fucking send it but yeah make sure you're healthy make sure you drink some kefir um and then you had a shoot I had a shoot yesterday yeah you looked fantastic thank you I turned up and I get told like my call time's an hour later than everyone because I'm talent I don't believe in that I'll go at the same time as like team For the listeners, what was the shoot for?

14:24The shoot was for my next single, which is actually coming, so new music is finally coming. Oi! Thank God. But basically, long story short, I'd arrange this shoot, stylist arrives, photographer arrives, everyone's really happy. I'm like, I'm going to go at the same time they arrive, because then I can help set up, I can probably grab everyone a coffee, because it was a bare-bones shoot, it wasn't like one of the other shoots that I've done, which has been really big, and you've got assistants and shit. so I was like okay cool it was like really last minute we made it happen so everyone starts arriving and it's weird because it's like 9 o 'clock it's like half it gets to half 9 and like hair and makeup hasn't turned up and I was like odd hair and makeup sent them a call she would have I thought fuck that's odd anyway I was like so I give them a text I was like do you want a coffee because I was doing a coffee run they didn't reply Talent was doing the coffee run them ones well yeah because I don't see like at the end of the day my music career so far other than like last year when I signed the record deal like I've had to hustle and do everything myself anyway and this was like a familiar team that I've worked with before and I actually worked with Italia who was styling it since uni and so like the shoots that we've done is like just me and Italia should do the makeup styling and directing and I just like lip syncing shit but yeah so we've been doing shoots together for time so I was like well I'll just go get the coffee because there's not an assistant here and everyone wants coffee it's not a made-for-off coffee anyway long story short they don't reply they don't answer the phone they don't do anything like they're not coming and i was like are you fucking kidding basically um doesn't turn up long story short i then have to do my hair makeup i've done it before i'll do it again but it was just like do you know when it's just like everything about this release this song the universe is just like don't do it don't do a little girl creature um and it's just like and i'm making it happen but there are just some days where i'm like fucking hell like and i know i'm gonna put it out and i'm gonna get like three fucking likes on the con and then everyone's gonna like wow and all everyone will like the photo and not listen to the fucking song but it's fine because there's maybe some people listening that like to listen to my music but i just hope that this one is like the thing i was like maybe because it was such a struggle it will actually be good do you know what i mean like it will finally fucking work for me but girls we put blood sweat and tears into it i was so close to crying i was like walking through Hartney Downs Park yesterday like on the phone to Bill just like well did they respond at any point yeah at two they said that they had to go to hospital I don't know no comment no comment I don't ever listen to the pod they know me from the pub but ultimately I'm really sorry if you did and I'm sorry if you did but yeah no but you know like from your perspective it was also it was a tough situation yeah it was a difficult situation love to you Fab Yeah Okay Let's rewind a bit Because Rewind And I can't rewind Ooh Baby

17:30Not everything is going wrong with this release Firstly it's really good It is really fucking good It's the best song I've ever written I agree Yeah it sounds great all the mixing production has gone well yeah the shoot hasn't gone well but it has gone well like in the end sorry it has gone well in the end in the end and you looked amazing I did look fab and you did it yourself yeah sometimes it's cool for you know self development yeah and the story for it to be like a struggle I think it's easy when I think especially being on I was actually talking to Sat Sarm about this other day i saw him the other day and i was saying i think once you sign something or like you have a manager or like whatever once things start getting a tiny bit more official i feel like you rest on your laurels and you expect like the best and this is the first time since signed the management and like record deal where like it was the best but like it was like i had to not fight for i didn't have to fight anyone at the label or everyone's always happy with me and i'm always happy with them but ultimately it felt like i had to really put and i know i need to put effort in again but like it felt like i really had to put effort in and push myself for like working with the tally of the stylist like she really put me some outfits i would never pick for myself i'm so glad she did um and it really it really felt like i had to push myself artistically which was hard and it was difficult and it was hard so i hope that there's some fucking payoff but i think it's quite easy to like get to a point where you like rest on your laurels a rest on like what's comfortable um and get yourself to a comfortable position but ultimately it's really hard to do sometimes yeah um for sure and i think and also putting things out i don't know sorry not to interrupt you but i think putting things out like the worst thing is like you might have done something that you really love you put it i guess back through you like saying like oh was that good and like it was good yeah it was good but unfortunately like the world just don't get it yet or like and i think that's the worst thing about like the way we all are i've i don't know if i mentioned the previous episode but i'm having some real not doubts there's no doubt about it because i like i just will keep pushing on but like it does creep in at the minute like i'm just like what am i doing do you know what i mean i think also as well like you know we we went together doing the pod in feb march whatever the fuck and like we weren't doing the pod music was going a bit slow like halfway through i put in a project kind of don't know what i'm doing with it and you just kind of i looked around i was like what am i doing like i feel very like what am i doing right now yeah wife's away do you know i mean i'm like girl where is this going when is the good going to come like the good i haven't i think creative careers in general are like immediate massive highs and real big lows and i feel like i'm quite in i've been like a i'm in a valley at the minute and a black peak um trough yeah i'm in a trough and like i've had if you look at my year i've had a great year like i've been away and i've been about and like we've been doing stuff and i've had some great opportunity but ultimately there's nothing that really has really like it's not the opportunities that i want and i need to steer that ship to where i need to be do you know what i mean not that i'm saying i don't want the opportunities i'm getting i i really do want them but like i just my only thing i've ever wanted to do is music in this world and like it's so crazy that i've i do all these like several different things and i'll just make this thing work which i'll speak about in something that's coming out soon oh i I don't know when it's coming out, if it'll come out at all.

20:59I think you have to hit the bottom sometimes in order to know success. The bottom. I'm speaking from personal experience. Did you get it? No. Oh.

21:20The Eric Andre meme you posted yesterday. Let me talk. let me tap

21:32very good sorry for being slow there I was trying to be deep and sincere and make you feel better and you just hit me for audio listeners I hit Louis when he said I hit the bottom yeah very good very good stuff I think you need to kind of flop sometimes to know you're alive know that it doesn't matter when you do flop speaking personally my crab salad post yesterday uh less than 100 likes uh some it is hard it makes it like yeah but it's fun it reminds you that it's fine to flop yeah and you can still and actually it's like well the only way is up from here yeah and it gives you it puts a fucking rod up your ass it does speaking of hit the bottom yeah hello and um it lets you know you're alive man and then i guess the other thing that it reminds me of and i i felt the same with multi-screen second single hip to be dumb and we've spoken about it since is that like i feel that the kind of social media heavy strategy yeah like in terms of i'm gonna tease my song on tiktok yeah i'm gonna go viral and then that's gonna that's gonna that's gonna like jump start for sure that is is happening less and less i think and i think which is you know weird and uncertain i'm sure there'll be positives out of it that i don't really understand yet but the ultimate positive which we've spoken about off air is that i feel like both of us need to have something uh for fans to as you put it chew on yeah we need to put projects out girl because the problem with the social media thing is social media is great because you can grab people's attention and it's good for discovering but i feel like especially with us because we do a fucking podcast yeah we need to really prove artistry.

23:42I think that's also the thing, like it's like, you know, with the poddy waddy, absolutely love because it's like people know you for the pod. Yeah. Or like people know you from like a stupid video that you've done or whatever and then it's like, oh no, but it's doing good enough stuff that when they eventually click on your profile, they're like, oh, fierce. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? But it's hard. It's hard. No, I've had that moment a couple of times in the last few months. But, it's gonna happen ultimately it just yeah you you do get you do freak out and then you and then you but that yeah the other thing is as with all social media nobody cares as much as you nobody is looking at the numbers like you are yeah no one's thinking about you like that nobody nobody the the nature of it is quite positive people are only really thinking about you when it's going well yeah yeah and when it's not going well people aren't i mean apart from us because we're horrible people so we will notice and we we do look at the numbers yeah but you know nobody is thinking like oh my god um sue's flopping right now yeah they're like oh i like sue i like that new song yeah yeah um god i mean it will happen i just i was thinking oh that's that person for the podcast yeah that's the one they just did their own makeup on the shit yeah did they do their own makeup there kind of jessica rabbit vibes girl yeah there was one there's one look we drew on an eyebrow and it It was great.

25:10It was a choice. But I quite liked it. I think it looked good with everything. I was caking as well, babe. I don't know what's happened, but I got massive back. Look, I tell you, he was like, why is your back so big, too? I was like, lip. Why? Because you've been twerking so much. Whoa! That one, that looks shit there. Sam, cut these in. Yeah. Like body T. I don't know, anyway. My body T. Body T, face T. but yeah I was just absolutely caking yeah you can't really tell but I was um okay and how do we go from here how do we get here um what would you like to talk about we're just going to leave it with we need extended projects yeah we need which is coming the extended project is coming you're doing a live session which is something that demonstrates artistry I suppose I feel like we've spoken about it before I think it's happening more now it's like even if it's subconscious people are bored of seeing even when in when we're good at it yeah it's like and we're not doing you know pov just made the sound of the summer yes people are getting bored of tiktok style promotion well they are i think that i saw another video about how like the the landscape is changing where people want people to be doing things like actually doing things like having a skill or doing something like that done in the days of just like kind of like popping off you're a great marketeer yeah like marketing but also just like you're good at your profession like you have a profession and you work like this is no no sorry people are done with being people just being great yeah yeah good at advertising something yeah like people actually want work and like you can throw an ad in here or there but ultimately at the end of the day people want entertainment of a form of like doing something with a community or like you know or like making something or doing something so yeah and then so all it takes is one song one fucking song I hope it's even though it's nice for people to chew on something one song can change have a chew on that love uh excuse me uh what do I have on my list oh I want to bring back a um segment yeah that is one of my friends favourite segments that we've overdone, I couldn't even remember what it was.

27:34Yeah. It's called Straight Dystopia. It's from, like, maybe our third or fourth episode. Straight Dystopia? Where I just spoke about... God, I don't remember shit. No, neither. So, apparently... Okay. Oh, God, this is a bit... Thank you. Apparently... Put it just on the floor. Will it reach? Amanda, please. Oh, my God, that's amazing. chronic migraine 15 or more headache days a month each lasting four hours or more can make me feel like a spectator in my own life botox on a botulinum toxin a prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine it's not for those with 14 or fewer headache days a month it's the number one prescribed branded chronic migraine preventive treatment prescription botox is injected by your doctor effects of botox may spread hours to weeks after injection causing serious symptoms alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing speaking breathing eye problems or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition.

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29:34We spoke about things that straight people did that were dystopian. Okay. So on my list, right? Yeah. I have two things. Right. And I, okay, so first up, I would say this is like my version of skinny jeans, right? Yeah. When all you guys are talking about don't wear skinny jeans, like my most irrational fear, skinny jeans. My version of that, because I have a personality, is something that like only rich West Londoners wear. Like it's very Notting Hill. It's actually probably East London as well. But it's those fucking tinted sunglasses where we can still see your eyes. and it's like people get to a certain level of wealth and suddenly they're just wearing these fucking sunglasses.

30:25It's not like sunglasses, I can't think. Like like Mella as a brand but like rich people like the yellow the yellow tint ones like very light very light sunglasses. Yeah. It's all about the lens is what I'm talking about. But they'll wear them like inside. Always, yeah. Always. I don't have any problems with wearing sunglasses inside I think that's cool whatever but these specific ones I think part of the charm of sunglasses is that you can't see a person's eyes it's mysterious so when you can then see all of their eyes it doesn't have the same allure and mystique so but also I just find them hideous and they just symbolise like a sort of kind of rich clueless person to me all the gear and no idea yeah and yeah I particularly see it amongst as a sort of kind of straight man who maybe I don't know works in finance is a bit of an easy shot works in a sort of works at an ad agency maybe and is hopelessly holding on to their youth wears like a kind of drapey short sleeve shirt over a vest okay I know the type I'm short goes to the goes to can but it's can not the film festival the advertising festival okay and they're not like a dubai they go to japan they go to japan exactly yeah um but that was my first one okay i have one hit me kissing in public straight dystopia you kick you're allowed to kiss in public safely yeah getting off in public i was sat with harry in london field yesterday and these straights behind us and also i'll probably say that and they'll probably listen but we're bisexual we're bisexual yeah i know but one is a male and one is a female i saw you so you're giving straight right now and they were just getting off and on the fields and i just thought well like kind of congrats but like fuck you here she is how passionately like fully getting off like was that was that was their body touching and i just all over it it was really disgusting Were they lying down on the ground?

32:40Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like right next to the house. And I just thought like, good for you. I think that's straight dystopia. Yeah. It just wouldn't happen. Yeah. Well, it could happen and no one would be mad. But like, I think the confidence to do it's crazy. Yeah, for sure. I think. That's mine. Something.

32:58Something that I loved about Mexico City, not to fucking keep banging on about my. You went to Mexico? Did anyone know that? Has anyone been listening? Has anyone really been listening? Has anyone listening? is that there's so many couples everywhere and they're, no, but I'm usually the same as you. I'm like, don't fucking rub it in my face because I'm a sad person. But it wasn't very PDA. It was like, it was kind of cuddly or arm round or something or facing each other cute. Never any kissing. It was a nice distinction. yeah um but yeah i'm not i'm not the most pda person in you aren't either no i'm not i like a little peck maybe and then like a touch of hand but i can't hand hold pda at like a party maybe oh yeah or like that's fuck or a club yeah but in a park feels it's a daytime girl also yeah london for yeah i like a hand across the table when you're having dinner as a little love you love that as a like as a gesture just to kind of show everyone that you're yeah like this is my bit yeah yeah love that we're good today it's my property uh yeah oh hey sophie uh and then my other one uh okay this is a goodie um straight men really worrying about their protein intake who live a life that consists of like sitting at a desk for eight hours a day.

34:31Like, what do you think the protein's doing? Do you think you're building muscle fucking writing treatments or fucking writing policy briefs? I'm not trying to ruin anyone's, oh, I don't know how to say it. Someone on the thing that I filmed the other day and I was a different guest. Someone's take, Like, can't say it. Someone's thing that they said. I don't want to like ruin it for when it comes out. I'm not going to go into it. But it talks about that and about how it's just a glorified eating disorder. It really is. It's like, why am I going to eat a baby bell with more protein in it? They've done berries with more protein.

35:07What the fuck next? Like berries just don't have to have protein in. Like it's the same as when they're like protein bread. I'm like, bread can just be bread, guys. Just eat meat for fuck's sake. You've got like this like fake protein being pumped into berries. what frozen berries fresh berries i swear it was berries yeah yeah frozen that's crazy protein berries chat find the find the protein berries um so are you gonna come up for a cuddle or what but yeah that was my that was my um straight dystopia segment what was your favorite memory of the metaverse r.i.p to the metaverse my favorite bit was when people were buying space in the metaverse uh so like galleries and shit and all like ai art and like they were buying like spaces if it exists that was my favorite bit what about you my favorite memory from the metaverse um and it's just a glorified sims game yeah was probably when that uh milf gave me head yeah in the in the gas station remember google glass everyone started wearing google glass so like met with a vr goggles no no no but they were regular glasses I want them so bad and then like you could see so there was like a screen there and then like you can then go on your phone and be like this on my glass but they do it without contacts now they'll probably come back did you ever get road dome in the metaverse I thought about that the other day and I was speaking to Bill if Bill ever tried to suck my dick whilst I'm driving I will crash his car into a bridge I don't care I love it I honestly I don't think how can you do that also how do you feel confident that no one's going to see you I'd just be so stressed I can't drive so I can't really speak on that one now.

36:47I'd hate it. It's just me outside. I'd be like, get off me, please. What would the easiest road be to do it on? Like a motorway? Like a country road. A country road. But then you just pull over and fuck. Yeah, like, can we just stop? Yeah, oh. Oh, I thought she got flying. But no, you would just stop and just... For audio listeners, you won't be able to see, but Sophie's playing with like a microphone. Velcro strap. Velcro strap. Oh.

37:17She's got tackers Oh she's rolled over But yeah I I just don't think about sex on them in the car to be fair Amazing how we can even make The metaverse go to Head Really impressive actually Biggest L of the decade maybe 80 billion they spent on that 80 billion they'll re-up it though at some point do you know anyone who participated in the metaverse? it's funny though isn't it because it's like even with the metaverse like tech bros still won't call it a failure they're like no but it got us to that point but now we've got like meta glasses and I'm like yeah I know but like it's not the metaverse yeah we need some of that energy in the music industry I like how they thought it was actually yeah it will happen though with AI and all this like fake person like no one's gonna watch a film with a fake person in it no do you know anyone that used the metaverse?

38:13no I didn't even know how to log on how'd you log on is it like Habbo

38:20do you know what I mean Habbo is it though oh is it like Club Penguin yeah hey guys I'm on the metaverse who wants dome did you play Club Penguin loved it I played Habbo though and I also played Bubbo which was the free Habbo and everything was free and I used to fuck what was the game you played in Club Penguin it was like a board game that was like connectable I don't know but I had those puffles Oi Puffles Did you ever spend your parents money on No My mum was strict boots girl I've never spent money on like things like that I remember the first time they let me buy You had to grind for those Puffles I had to grind to download music I remember my first album that I convinced my parents to buy on iTunes was Early Golden Lights and I begged for the album and it was£9.99 Is that the one with story eyes on it?

39:04Absolutely it is That's crazy because that's one of the first That's one of the first songs I downloaded on Spotify. Learned on ukulele.

39:18I actually did have a ukulele. No, you did. Ukulele bowler hat watching Jack Scarp. Wake it up! Jack Scarp and Bertie Gilbert. Love you, Bertie. I actually love Bertie. Bertie is a nice CD. Bertie Gilbert was one of the first YouTubers I've watched. Oh, he's so nice. I don't know him like that with Friends of Bill, but we follow each other and he's very sweet. My song on the ukulele was Under the Sea from Little Mermaid. Darling, it's better down where it's wetter. Take it from me. Me, but my cocky. I, did you, you say we're both little people and you like it that way. Never shout, never faze.

39:57Did you ever do that? No, sorry, what is that song? Grow old, wear a suit like my old man. Pack up all my things and get my ass out of town. You got it good. Like scene. massive hair ukulele from what whether you like this town or not who's singing it never shout never did you never get into them no wow never heard of them little town dreams that song was called uh did you ever watch the big hawaiian guy cover somewhere under the rainbow on ukulele i don't know what that is big hawaiian guy big hawaiian guy who's now dead rest in peace he does this amazing cover of Somewhere Under the Rainbow I used to watch all the singers like Tory Kelly which is like I hope you have a wonderful day the sun is out and I'm feeling okay I hope you have a wonderful day Tory Kelly and Jeremy Passion that's a horrible name Jeremy Passion crazy name like a small glass of lemonade the way they sing is ridiculous Tory Kelly can sing The vocal No no no But like They are incredible singers Obviously But they overdo The melisma Also You're just not a good artist Like you can sing But like No but they're not good artists They're not going to be remembered As like good artists So you can sing Like it's great True True artistry I think people will remember True artistry Not good singers Um You got it good Whether you like this town Or not Okay would you like Some user submitted questions Or a monologue user oh i don't know actually whatever you feel my sweet prince

41:41let's do the questions first okay um okay so rue asks shout out rue you stay in our dms babe do you want us to come on drag race or

41:57sorry side note i once went to a pickle factory with my friends yeah uh club in bethnal green and met this lovely woman, Clara, from Barcelona. And we became friends over the course of the night. I was kind of falling in love with her. She was an older lady, obviously. But you don't have mummy issues. I know. That's wild. I saw a meme yesterday, which was like, if you have daddy issues, you become a people pleaser. If you have mummy issues, you just become a psychopath. I got both. What now Anyway I was kind of falling in love with Clara Over the course of the night And But we always remember her Because of her laugh Oh she had a dreadful one That's horrible But also we remember her by Asking me kind of halfway through the night Are you gay Are you gay I knew it And she couldn't say my name Shout out Clara She's definitely not listening to this She's moved to Barcelona.

43:04She's now married. Oh. I love marriage. I want to get married so bad. Lee. Yeah. Lee. How are you gay? Lee. What did you say? I said no, Clara. Fuck's sake. And then we all went back, her and our friend all went back to ours and we listened to LCD sound system as the sun came up. That's disgusting. Yeah. Sorry. Harry Styles stole my bit, man. So what's the question? What? You didn't like my story? Yeah, I loved it. What would you like me to say? Do you want a conclusion? Rue asks, Sue, why are you such a fucking prick? Good question, Rue. No. Rue asked, I want to know what's been the most surprising, good or bad thing since starting the pod.