In short
Two hosts chat live while one is in Budapest and the other is in London Fields. They cover travel, nightlife, trans visibility on a flight, the Hackney Half marathon experience, wellness routines (weed, shrooms, “gratitudes,” douching/microbiome talk), mindset/negativity, birthday feelings, and several “news” segments (including a Gloucestershire man convicted for defecating on a wall and Tyson Fury’s 16-year-old daughter’s wedding in the Isle of Man). They also run an agony-aunt about a friend who doesn’t reciprocate outreach, and another about an open relationship with mismatched comfort and “extra rules.”
Guests
No named guests. Main speakers are the two hosts (Sue and Bill; Bill appears via remote audio/video).
Key claims
Budapest feels like London/“Shoreditch” and feels safe; seeing another trans woman on the flight made the host feel safe; Hackney Half is overcrowded and overly serious; douching too often can harm microbiome; open relationships require honest communication or they become unworkable/betrayal.
Notable examples
Eddie Redmayne (“Danish Girl”) on the flight; Tyson Fury’s daughter’s wedding; “defecated on a wall” case in Lydbrook Social Club; Drake album discussion; Hackney Half course at Hackney Marshes.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOCatching Up on Life Events
0:30 to 2:09
The hosts discuss their recent experiences, including a wedding in Venezuela and travel plans.
“I just want to check that it's working there Right, it's working there Why have you done this?”
Living in Budapest
2:09 to 4:46
Insights into life in Budapest, including hotel accommodations and local experiences.
“Yeah, which is where I thought you were.”
Food and Drinks in Budapest
4:46 to 6:34
Discussion on local food and drinks, including unique coffee experiences and dining choices.
“It's kind of not that big running through it.”
Flight Experience and Notable Encounters
6:34 to 8:19
The hosts share stories from their flights, including meeting fellow passengers and celebrity sightings.
“So there was two trans women on that flight.”
The Hackney Half Experience
8:19 to 12:11
A humorous recounting of participating in the Hackney Half marathon and the unique vibes surrounding it.
“Didn't Eddie Redmayne win an Oscar for that?”
Cultural Reflections and Personal Growth
12:11 to 14:00
The hosts reflect on their experiences with personal growth, including discussions on substances and healthy habits.
“It's like everyone laughs at Clapham until it becomes Clapham.”
Morning Routines and Social Media
14:00 to 18:35
Discussion of morning routines and the pressures of social media work.
“morning before i get my hayley bieber air one and uh and then i do a spin class and then um And that's kind of it.”
Art Gallery Experience in Budapest
18:35 to 23:26
Sharing personal experiences at an art gallery and cultural observations in Budapest.
“I actually yeah I've only got one thing what have you got?”
Reflections on Life Changes and Relationships
23:26 to 25:01
Reflections on personal growth, relationships, and the impact of location on identity.
“I remember Azir Lee Banks did a bit on it.”
Coping with Negativity
25:01 to 28:09
Exploring personal struggles with negativity and the search for positivity.
“No, but you're meant to, yeah, obviously you're meant to do it, but Zoom up.”
Show all 18 chapters
The Birthday Blues
28:09 to 31:26
Discussing birthday feelings and personal reflections on celebrations.
“So I just texted my parents just checking in.”
Start Your Day with Gratitude
31:27 to 31:58
The importance of beginning the day with positive actions and gratitude.
Regional News Roundup
31:59 to 32:48
A fun take on quirky regional news stories and reactions.
Molly Mae and Celebrity Gossip
32:49 to 36:48
Discussing perceptions of Molly Mae and celebrity relationships.
“British Hours is so fucking stupid that Dave and Angela will probably have a Christmas number one this year if it carries on.”
Navigating Friendships and Expectations
36:49 to 42:04
Advice on handling one-sided friendships and emotional needs.
“Well, that's what I mean, which is like the macho, the latte, but maybe it's what the universe needs.”
Navigating Friendships and Communication
42:04 to 45:56
Learn effective communication strategies for discussing feelings with friends.
“So you're aware of the state of play, but if it's bugging you, you do have the power to make an issue.”
Introduction to Open Relationships
45:56 to 47:46
Explore the complexities of open relationships and the importance of honesty.
Confronting Relationship Issues
47:46 to 50:12
Understand the necessity of addressing discomfort in relationships openly.
“Like, if you're not happy, communication is key.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:28This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. Storm has zero sugar and 200 milligrams of caffeine, so you can turn that workout up a notch. Good energy in, good energy out. Energy for life.
0:49Can you hear me? I can't hear you. Wait, it might be my fault. Wait. I just want to check that it's working there Right, it's working there Why have you done this? Testing, testing Just let microphones let speaker Oh, that's why Hello? Hello, hello Hello, sexy boy, how are you? Oi! Why did you on your eyebrows? I got them threaded You're like James Charles Yeah I went to Hello sister You look like you're about to shout at somebody for having a job How was it How was the Isle of Man How was Venezuela's wedding Venezuela is so nice You should have seen the dress You should have seen the dress I do sound like a posh girl with this voice Don't I I hate how I've got like an auto zoom on Okay I'm a black spinning.
1:57Free. No, Sue. Venezuela is Venezuela Fury. The 16-year-old daughter of Tyson Fury, who's just got married. Who's just got married. The original Gucci girl. Yeah, which is where I thought you were. No, my love, I'm in Budapest. Budapest. My heart's in Budapest. My golden treasure chest. my nomenclown piano and I've lost my voice and I've lost why did you do you want to explain to the viewers why you've had to leave the country to be away from me well my visa's run out yeah so where are you really from my visa um Pink Friday Topia yeah Barb whatever Nicki Minaj meant Barb what's that place she made barbtopia or something like that yeah yeah that's where i live and your data science fees is up yeah right my data science fees is up and i couldn't convince topa to give me any shifts kind of thing right so um no i'm actually in budapest because my boyfriend's working out here um guys i have a boyfriend into the light i'm kidding um yeah my boyfriend's working out here but tonight he's working.
3:18My boyfriend's away. So I was like, I'm coming.
3:27How you doing, boys? Hi, boys. My boyfriend's away. Do you want to see on that news?
3:36Come get with me in private. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, boys. Come with me in private. Fucking pour it up. Spend that money. spend that money but it's good but yeah he's away tonight but he's in the he'll come back because he's in the gym right now and then hopefully oh he's in the gym is it yeah he's been slamming the gym doing doing what just all legs lifting lifting in the pool and um running oh gorgeous I know crazy right sorry lifting in the pool lifting and also So the pool and also running. What's the hotel situation like? It's nice. It's like a hotel. It's got a big courtyard. But we've got like, it's like self-service teas.
4:27So like we're like, we're just here, aren't we? We're just freaking here. But we've got the kitchen over there, which you can kind of see. I'd tow you around, but I can't bother to get up. That's okay. But it's nice. I got here yesterday. Did I go here yesterday? Yeah, yesterday. they flew me out of business lovely who's they uh can't say station yeah babe station flew me out business one of my clients um yeah so they flew me out business flew out my boobs out quite literally um yeah it was it's fat it's been fab i don't know if anyone's been to budapest if they have it's kind of like dublin but a bit like cooler wow it's just like dublin it reminds me so much of Dublin.
5:16Interesting. Why? Just because it's got a big river. It's kind of not that big running through it. And there's the Houses of Parliament on the river. Yeah, we were there. We were opposite there today at the art, the museum, the art gallery. Yeah, it was fun. Like, we're having a good time. We went to Percent for a coffee and got a tonic, a tonic coffee. Oh, gorgeous. Yeah, they're disgusting. I hate them. They are so disgusting, but also couldn't stop drinking them. Do you know what I mean? espresso tonic with a slice of orange in there yeah like it sounds rank but kind of like can't stop drinking it heartburn so like i said heartburn biscuits but i'm i'm here alone tonight so i was like do i just get a takeaway and stay and watch netflix or i was like do i just go out and get bev'd on my own but then i'm like is that like is that giving like trafficked do you know i mean is that giving taken three the tranny one if you're uh if you're a cis man it would be it would be applauded well this is the thing so I might I might do it I'm gonna like time a hair but put a jacket on so you can't tell I'll put an adidas shoe on and because I've been wearing girl clothes recently due to pop unpopular belief and then yeah so maybe I will and then I might meet them after for a drink I think um Bill and friends how are you Bill and friends aka Hollywood celebrities that we can't even name we can't name um wait speaking of what no wait sorry i know we will get on to you i'm so sorry no no i want to stay on budapest but i was on the plane and obviously i was getting through that business and what was really nice is there was another trans woman on the flight which was so nice and i actually text you about it and i text bill about it and i said it's really lovely that me and eddie redmayne can be on the same flight and um i felt really safe that another trans woman was flying the road behind me so I felt very like okay we're in this together girl it's like the Spider-Man meme it's like yeah exactly wait what in the wild well they picked us up in like the little shuttle that took us to the thing and he stood opposite me and I was like oh that's my trans sis and then these lads came up and was like can I get a photo and you know do you know when you can see that someone say no so what someone sorry they asked her for a photo yeah yeah they asked the danish girl for a photo and he was like sorry she was like so sorry misgendering and she was like um yeah okay and then she took a photo with them which was very sweet i guess well so she was she is famous eddie redmayne wait so oh my god sorry sorry sorry i'm now remembering why you texted me about this because Eddie Redmayne, the Danish girl, was on my flight.
8:15Yes. So there was two trans women on that flight. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Jesus. Switch on, Louis. Get there. Okay. And did you say hi? Lock in. No. No. Didn't Eddie Redmayne win an Oscar for that? Or something? How old was it the Stephen Hawkins one? He was up for an Oscar for that film, I think. He did eat with it, to be fair. I've never seen it. I did watch it. But how are you? You're in London Fields right now. Yeah, I'm in London Fields. I thought I was kind of getting separation anxiety with you being away. So I thought I'd just... Yeah. You need a pizza slice. Yeah, I need a pizza slice. I need to get my laptop out and pretend to do some work.
8:57I do burners, guys. I do burners. Guys, I do burners. That's my job. I do burners. I need to eavesdrop on people talking about their jobs that aren't real um yeah uh so yeah i thought i'd i thought i'd give you some sort of uh home comforts really um but people are just um thank god the vibes are up here people having a great time oh good anyone that we know there yeah uh that guy um that guy from tiktok who was like i just need an east london creative girl he's over there nice i actually saw him at the I saw him at the Hackney Half on Sunday. Did you hear? Yeah, it was really, really nice. That's really nice.
9:41Was he running with a girl or was he just running alone? He was running solo. He was kind of on a Drake vibe for the whole thing. But yeah, he was locking in. I saw him after a pub on the park for just a few. And we shot the shit. And it was really nice catching up with him. Nice. I saw you after the Hackney Half. Can you let us know how it was? Also, how are you? I'm so sorry. babe we're all adjusting to the zoom reality just take a breath i still want to i've still got budapest stuff but in answer to a question uh yes i unfortunately did the hackney half on sunday where i saw you i didn't post about it on my instagram i did post a tiktok recapping the darker side of the hackney half um it was i forgot i did it four years ago and i did forget how awful it is it is like it is like a festival for people who don't like music or yeah that is literally it you've just described it perfectly or a festival a festival for people who run at festivals maybe or yeah and i i almost feel bad that like i was so cynical about it but i think it the once you're on that once you're on the course right once you're running and high-fiving random children, not in a noncy way.
11:09And they're going like, 6 '7", 6 '7", and I'm obviously jiggling.
11:19That's fun, but the festival itself, the site in Hackney Marsh is awful, truly awful. Just like so rammed, so like just lost men taking it way too seriously. way way way way way too seriously first of all it's fucking half marathon chill out second of all it's not that deep no we're here we're here to run around hackney let's not this isn't this isn't an iron man this isn't the champions league final let's all just take a deep breath um and the other vibe i got was that it's starting to make me feel uh that like it was a festival of people that would laugh at Clapham or Clapham culture and live in Hackney or hang out in Hackney and just are Clapham culture.
12:12Like, they're no... Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's London though, isn't it? It's like everyone laughs at Clapham until it becomes Clapham. And everyone secretly wants it to become Clapham but pretends they don't. Yeah, exactly. But not me. I don't want it to become Clapham. No, no, no. Not me either. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out Australian listeners. Yeah. big time and then yeah that was that and then I bumped into you and you were on your way to Boots and Dalston which was yeah we were which was really cool actually and I didn't find it but I found it in Budapest Cisoplast bone this one's got SPF in it though yeah I got some blueys and I got a pill and some pseudocreme yeah just some c-sublast balm oh gorgeous no sponsor no spawn i wish spawn um but yeah yeah babe i'm i'm good i've i'm just i'm just a bit uh decrepit right now i'm walking i'm hobbling around uh i don't think i'll ever do a hackney half again i think i was a bit scarred by it but it was fun i had a drink with you and terry afterwards uh then i got i picked up some weed i'm back on weed again that's nice good for you girl uh and i'm smoking out of a pipe this time instead of out of papers with tobacco wow full cracked full cracked and it's actually way better i get way less hungry okay oh you're like fully stoner you're full stoner yeah yeah it's uh it's nice i'm uh i'm really immersing myself in the culture and uh i feel good sue i feel i feel productive i feel like you know you've done like you're doing like californian sober like you're doing like you're smoking like a californian yes i'm doing shroom yeah micro dosing shrooms in the morning before i get my hayley bieber air one and uh and then i do a spin class and then um And that's kind of it.
14:15That's all I do. And then I pretend to do social media for work. Yeah. But we've been working today, honey. We've been working today, and we're going to really be doing shit in a big way, I guess, is what you're trying to say. Yeah. Like really big things are coming, I guess. I'm not going to say it, but big things are coming. So on Budapest, I've got two initial questions, right? Yeah. The first thing is that you said, I believe you said you went to an art gallery. I went to the art gallery, like the big one on the big hill. Which doesn't make any sense to me because I've been to an art gallery with you.
15:00Oh, we buzzed around, honey. It's not pretty. And also, I took my shirt, like my jacket off. So I just had this on. You've been getting your tits out bare at the moment. Talk about that. I know, but I quite like it. It makes me feel, look at that again. look at that I feel like Charlie X X wants you to play anyway there's a chaser that listens I'll look away now I took off my jacket and this man asked me to put it back on do you know the guys that stand around the room oh like the kind of security yeah he was like put your jacket back on and I've only ever had that one time before and it was at my friend's birthday party and me and Charles Jeffrey were DJing and Charles was in drag in a bikini and because it was drag it was fine but I was in a bikini and he asked me to put my shirt on and then Ben lost his fucking mind at security and then everyone had to apologise and they gave me a gift voucher.
15:56Wow, fucking hell. Gorgeous. Yeah, it was crazy. On this occasion in the art gallery did you feel insulted or did you feel visibly trans? I felt visibly trans and then I also, Bill was just, it's just a job's worth and I was like, do you know what? I think I need to stop blowing this shit up. and just be like maybe just ask me put my jacket on do you know I mean like maybe I'll absorb I think so I've come out here and I was nervous about transness because everybody like warns it's not very is they don't say it's anti-gay but they're like it's not very gay but walking around it literally is just like London like there's like a Shoreditch bit which I think is the Jewish quarter like there's just like different bits of the city like honestly like it's like being in Shoreditch do you know I mean so like I feel very safe here like I feel like no one's bothering, it feels like London in the sense of like everyone just, no one cares about you, I've not felt like I'm quite enjoying it to be honest Okay and have you been to, I'm trying to remember what I went to Budapest when I was 18 and it was where I first discovered Smegma Smegma?
17:06Yeah I first got Smegma, first time you pulled it back first time I like properly pulled it back and I was like oh my god Okay Which was a really dark time actually in my life Still a virgin at 18 Weird Yeah babe I think that's a nice thing though babe Shut the fuck up I think it is babe Shut up Because you're a skat Don't make me feel like a dweeb The skat and the dweeb Dweeb But I want to shout out Dweeb I want to shout out Charlotte Levy who I said any recommendations and everyone was like, send me sex clubs because obviously that's all any straight D of a listeners do. And Charlotte sent me nine pages of recommendations for Budapest because she lived here for a year.
17:53I just want to shout out her because I'm going to go to a bar tonight. Maybe if I can be asked that she recommended it. It does look really fun and friendly. That being said, I might just go walk around and just go sit down on a bench in the dark. You'd be, no, don't do that. Go to the bar. I mean, do walk around, but don't sit on a bench. Yeah, okay. No, it just sounds like a shit way to spend an evening. No, I think it could be nice, like sat on the river, just like, oh my God, it's crazy. When was the last time you had a drink alone in a bar? That's what I mean. Is that giving sad? No, especially when you're on holiday, it's the spice of life.
18:33I'm not on holiday. I'm just here stalking my boyfriend. What the fuck are you doing, babe? Why the fuck are you in Budapest? We're working. I'm being a digital nomad thank you and I'm healing my voice but I have been drinking so much and I think that's why my voice isn't getting better because I'm just drunk every night I was drunk last night what did you do last night? went out for dinner with can't really say again but we went out for dinner with somebody who's Bill's working with I remember when you were just fucking some duck from Darby now you're fucking hanging out with fucking Eddie Redmayne no it wasn't with Eddie Redmayne and I'll tell you that for a minute but we were with a diva and we had a lovely meal and then yeah no we just came home so it's like we're not really doing anything but yeah there's much to talk about this week I think oh is there?
19:24I actually yeah I've only got one thing what have you got? I have the Drake album I'm just not even going to bother listening to it oh shit yeah I was wondering if I should do an explainer on the Drake album for our audience I don't think so I just think I think we're fine Moving on Guys it's straight diva Okay There's gotta be some straight culture in there This is our culture But also I don't think that Apparently it's just not good Like it got three stars and everything Which I know obviously like Three stars from who? NME Or Onionstone One or the other Babe respectfully if they ever give us any work, love them.
20:10But who the fuck cares about NME? Well, these days no one, but it makes money, apparently.
20:20I would argue that one of the albums is good. Okay, the country one. No, no, God, no. Habibti, no. The one that's called The Maid of Honour, which is basically about being a slag. it's the clubby one it's got sexy red on it it's got popcorn on it okay I will give it a go weirdly ironically being the kind of the sleaziest one it's the artwork is his mother in her wedding dress on the cover so Drake though but even still like it is yeah there are so many lines which are just absolutely hilariously cringe and yeah I can get behind it but babe he sampled Peggy Goo and he put Sexy Red on the cha-cha slide so if that's not the recipe if that's not the recipe for a summer banger I don't know what is true but I think it's fun to hear Drake kind of being petty it's what I love him for so yeah I just think he's girl bossing right now Exactly And why What would it take for you to listen to Drake's new music?
21:41Nothing really A lobotomy Yeah a lobotomy and douching Which I've been advised not to douche As much as I've been douching girls I've been saying that Yeah because everyone's talking about my prebiotics Know what they're saying My natural biome You've got a douche in your fucking shower I've got a douche in my shower lads Built in Well it wasn't originally And we got it built in when I moved in But it's not like I shit in my shower Everyone's like do you shit in your shower I'm like no You pull the bottom out And then you shit in there
22:17But like Okay sorry What's this about your fucking microbiome Or your prebiotic Well they say if you douche too much You lose your microbiome Really Yeah yeah But like it's not that Yeah maybe I do like four times a week Apparently you're only meant to do like two times a week um what because you're losing all the good bacteria you're you're apparently yeah you like flush it out well yeah because then it stops naturally producing i haven't felt any issues but apparently you stop naturally producing the things that like you need apparently in there so much so that apparently they can give you somebody else's they put a tablet of someone else's natural biome in yours and it remakes itself how mank is that so they put like they put like um yeah someone else is like pooing you yeah i know it's giving freesome in london the field it's giving scatty um okay do we think this could be do we have any conspiracy theories against this that this might be a sort of a psyop by well i think it is because i think a Christian group who's kind of homophobic.
23:23Everyone I speak to about it, gay people are like straight people. I remember Azir Lee Banks did a bit on it. Like, you're not actually meant to. And I did Google it and it said, you're only meant to do it like two times a week, if that. And you're meant to do it on a low dose, whereas I turn it on full. I'm like, ooh. Yeah, I love it. So how often are you doing it? Like four times a week, maybe more to be fair. Would you say you're addicted? No, I'm not addicted. I think it's just nice to be squeaky clean, but then that's not how it works. Have you ever been to Asia in your life? I haven't. No.
24:01In Asia, they have bum guns. Yeah, bum guns. I know, but you're not meant to put it in you, are you? No, but you can get close and do some... Do some damage. I mean, yeah, it's probably not a douche level. of uh whereas i will put my douche in me right but which i shouldn't probably be saying but i mean just the truth that's what i said for lads are you not meant to put it in you well yeah like that's how you do it but like so good so good so good new markdowns up to 70 off are at nordstrom rack stores now stock up and stay big on shoes tops dresses accessories and more must-haves for summer join the nordic club to unlock exclusive discounts shop new arrivals first and more.
24:48Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack.
25:01Hello. No, but you're meant to, yeah, obviously you're meant to do it, but Zoom up. Yeah. Zoom up. Zoom up, but like, yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'm going to stop. I'll only do it twice a week now. okay well i'm happy for you comment below how much you do shawik yeah also guys i would like to open a speaking of comment below we need to reply to all your comments on a video because i said i'd reply to all the comments and i haven't logged on and replied to comments but i would like to know how people um get a positive mental attitude because i'm not saying i'm depressed because i'm actually not depressed but i am so negative these days like and i don't mean negative as in like that affects me I think it affects everything in my life like I will and it's not that I naturally hate things but if I see something I'll always make a negative comment about it do you know what I mean in contrary to popular belief like I feel like especially having this like I think people think we're so negative but I don't think we are but at the minute I don't know what it is but I think maybe when I was younger I was just so much like it's not even that pessimistic I just think I'm a bit like like I've got a comment for everything does anyone know how to battle that if so let me know in the comments would you mean a comment for everything well i just need somebody to give me some advice is that an affirmation you can do to just be like like if i just see a dog i don't like i'm like that's a shit dog do you know what i mean but no one needs to know that's a shit dog but it is a shit dog do you know what i mean what kind of dog was it like shit so but like do you know they're really old do you know when like an old white scraggly dog in the name that's like old i know but you know when they get like scraggly and like you know they stink they're the worst ones you know it's almost like if you see my little dog and it's like a white little squally thing you're like oh god yeah and you have to get their fucking uh and it's first falling out and you're like yeah oh it's poo gland are you joking nah i once almost killed a chihuahua with my own body weight that's okay i was playing um spike ball on a beach.
27:04Spike bull? I was in America. Oh, that's okay. I know. But I went diving backwards for a bull and then fell, as I'm diving backwards, full on the chihuahua, and I thought I killed it. But it was okay. It's fucking dead. It was called boo, and it had a really stinky ass. Yeah, no, that's what I mean. They just smell like poo. But in regards to your issues, Sue, there's no white poo I guess I feel the same I guess we are positive but we can be quite cynical naturally yeah and I'm like I am bored of it I would like to bring back my positive mental attitude but I think there's they're definitely linked but you can separate just like your general feeling mindset from how like you've got a comment for everything obviously the comment comes out more if you're feeling shit but yeah but like i feel like you can you can be cynical and be uh generally coping and he's still kooky but i tell you what's been working for me what worked for me today is smoking weed through a bong no no no god no i haven't i don't only on the weekends babe um what no so it was just that i i usually start my day like sort of unnecessarily in a rush and i just like immediately go to like the most urgent thing today i was like fuck that i'm gonna i'm gonna do some gratitudes first thing and then I was like, I'm just going to do a good deed.
28:53So I just texted my parents just checking in. I was like, hey, what's going on? Hello, parents. Birthdays are coming up. It's my birthday tomorrow. Oh, yeah. Is it tomorrow? Babe, I've never felt more scroogy about a birthday. Anyway. I did not know it was tomorrow. I swear it's not tomorrow. Yeah, I'm 42 tomorrow. You're joking. Yeah. God. Got a kid soon. that's nasty how are you going to celebrate Angus is taking me out for ramen and then he's going to finger me that's so nice yes and then I think we might be having a party later in the month which you're aware of yeah I do know bus me and then but yeah do you get excited Do you get excited about your birthday?
29:51Not anymore. And I think when I'm, like, I was talking to my friend Emma about this the other day. Like, I think when I, when I preempt it too much, I get really upset on my birthday because I feel like people should care about me more. Yeah, I think that's what I'm subconsciously doing. I'm, like, lowering expectations to completely zero so that I can only be. But also just, like, I'm just fucking, I'm not thriving right now enough to fucking celebrate anything. I know what you mean I feel the same But you're not flopping You will have a lovely day And you'll enter the year of 39 Really lovely Oh bless you baby What do you want for your birthday?
30:38A girlfriend No but actually me and Bill I'll get you something That's cheating you have to think You didn't ask for the Lily Allen butt plug. Yeah, I know. You're right. I just got it for you. Okay, noted. But no, Sue, in answer to your sort of positive mindset issue, I found that today... Oh, time left 10 minutes. 10 minutes. Bloody hell. I'm also worried we haven't been recording any of the video of this. Have we been recording it? Well, it says recording. Okay, then it'll be fine.
31:19but it also says give permission to screen recording anyway do a good deed first thing because i get too sucked up in fucking the bullshit of the day or what's happening on my phone yeah yeah same i'm like why haven't i got more comments start the day with a good deed and then and then yeah just text your mum text a friend leave a nice voice note tell someone you love them do something that isn't on your to do list that is about you basically yeah that was my top tip but hey comment down below guys but whatever works for you hey mmm as we've actually got 10 minutes left on this call I'd like to bring you my only suggestion for this week which is it was a slow news week so I thought I'd go more regional for for for the news cycle so I found some news stories and I'm just going to send them across to you and I want you to tell me what you think Okay, my sweet, sweet prince My WhatsApp isn't working So I'm going to put them in the Zoom chat In the what?
32:47The Zoom chat Couple spend five figures building 400 metre train tracking garden Okay So This is a couple from Essex Oh, they look like they're having Dave and Angela Yeah That's so nice 40k though yeah with the hat on
33:17do you know what this is all I want from my life god look at them both he looks happy as well I would say Larry but his name's Dave do you think that could be you and Bill and in Sky in a couple of months yeah I think so I think that's really really lovely I think that is really really I think that's what the world needs most. Dave and Angela on a train. That's the thing though. British Hours is so fucking stupid that Dave and Angela will probably have a Christmas number one this year if it carries on. Do you know what I mean? Well, in... If that's sort of the kind of the highs, I'm going to bring you some lows with our next story.
34:00We've got... We go live to Gloucestershire. Hunt for man. oh god hunt for man who defecated on a wall before cleaning himself with a sandwich so he's shit on a wall and we quote I've never known anything so disgusting in all of my life oh my god Mark Holtman has been convicted of an act of outraging public decency following the incident in Lydbrook, Gloucestershire more than two years ago but yeah he essentially wiped his ass with a sandwich at Lydbrook Social Club If anyone's ever been to Lydbrook Social Club Drop your fucking number in the comments Because I want to fucking get to know ya I want to speak to ya Little shorty But yeah That was Gloucestershire Venezuela Fury got married In the Isle of Man because she couldn't legally Get married in the UK Because she's 16 No way Fucking hell That family That movie That family is good for them Good for them Is that good for them in a patronising way Or good for them in a genuine way No I think When you say bless Bless When my mum says bless Yeah it's patronising I think she's being patronising She says she's not being patronising No I'm patronising It's not that I think they're bad To be honest with all the love in my heart I really don't get Molly Mae.
35:34So I think it starts there where like, I think Molly Mae is kind of like overtly so boring and I've never been able to understand her life. And then I think when she got with Tommy and then had a baby with Tommy and you know Tommy's been doing some fuck shit and then she stayed with him. It just kind of makes, the whole thing makes me sad. Like I know she's not enjoying herself. Yeah. But who am I saying now? She's having another baby, so. but they're so famous she's taking like a fish to water in these traveller weddings I'll tell you that much oh she loves it yeah she's getting down I don't know I've seen a clip of some lads rapping over some hardcore at the wedding I don't know if she was there for that I'm not trying to yuck their yum like I really don't good for Tyson Fury good for all the Furies no no no for sure the weddings look lit I don't like Tommy I don't like specifically Tommy and so it leaves a bad taste in my mouth because I just think Tommy's a bellend and has been a bellend to Molly and Molly's actually a bit of a dipstick staying around in my opinion and I don't want to like romanticise that that like that didn't happen like everyone was like he cheated and then like she's kind of like stayed with him not addressed it and then like everyone's just like fine with it I didn't know you rode for Molly May like that I don't I don't really like Molly May either like I think but then I don't think like I don't know it's not that I don't like Molly May did you buy her I did that collab.
37:02Well, that's what I mean, which is like the macho, the latte, but maybe it's what the universe needs. So I'm also like, again, not trying to yuck her yum. I just don't really ever find it entertaining.
37:16I agree until it's a traveler wedding, and then I'm like, I will stop scrolling for that. Yeah, I mean, traveler weddings eat famously. They're amazing. Traveler TikTok's fab, and the way... I hope it's okay to say this, but the way that they clean their houses is amazing. I haven't seen that. You've never seen a cleaner kitchen than a Traveller girl's kitchen. Mine's more like baseline and hardcore emceeing. Oh yeah, fab. I like the funerals as well when they'll just get a random kid to sing and he'll be like singing down. I think it's fab. Singing down? No, you'll be like Sing Yeah, down, down, down, down But yeah, no I just think I've got nothing against the Furies Bar Tommy Norman K, father of Vernon K Is warning his son against rushing into a new romance He stressed that he has plenty of time Ahead of him, reports the Mirror God, imagine your dad going to the press You're going through a divorce And your dad's already gone to the press It's something I actually realised I feel like it's a common PR tactic of like, Vernon Kay and Tess Daly's PR will be like, okay, we're going to get some family members in to sort of soften this.
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38:38Yeah. Because, like, why the fuck are we hearing what Vernon Kay's dad has to say about him? Could you imagine, like, going through a divorce and then you're just seeing things from my dad being like, yeah, Sue can take her time. Do you know what I mean? Like, what? That's so crazy. Sue will be lucky to find someone like Bill. She's fucking thick as pig shit. Yeah, she's thick as pig shit. She's a dickhead for doing that, to be fair. But love her, so it's fine. Do you want to do an agony aunt? I would love to do an agony aunt. I know there's one that we... Yeah, I sent it to you. Are you ready for it?
39:13I'm ready. I know it well. It's a big one, right? She's a biggie. So, Louise. Bit of a long one. Basically, with one of my good friends from home, when I got closer to in the last... Oh, girls. No shade. If you're writing it to Agniot, can you make sure it makes sense? Right. Bit of a long one. Basically, no shade, my diva. Love you. Basically, with one of my good friends from home, who I got closer to in the last year or so of sixth form before going to uni, I've noticed that I'm typically always the one who reaches out to check in, make plans, etc. etc. When we see each other in person it's a really great time.
39:56She does express how much she appreciates me, enjoys spending time together and she's one of the few people in my life that I really get comfortable sharing openly with and emotionally relying on and it feels reciprocal. We went on holiday for a few days last year and I visited her after she started uni this year which was a really lovely time. Her not being super on it about reaching out or organising things shouldn't bother me since she's the type of person to always be busy. Does talk about how she's really bad at messaging people reaching out and did just start a pretty intense uni this year but it does make me feel a bit on edge she's a really kind and caring person and often finds herself trapped in friendships that don't really enjoy too much because she feels bad and wants to offer offer support to people who don't have much help elsewhere in their life i just hope i'm not one of these burdens for her it would really break my heart to find out a friendship i care deeply about isn't genuine do you think it's something i could mention next time we see each other in or each other in person or just something i need to firm with having a busy close friend um so i think well i think if they're such a close friend i think the most loving thing you could do is confront it um i did this recently with one of my besties shout out to you and i really didn't want to do it and then bill was like bitch grow up like the most loving thing you can do is like pull your bestie aside and be like look i'm gonna need a bit more for you because at the minute i need this on the third and i think that's so fine and they also have every right to clock Q2 so what do you think Louise?
41:37I think that there's a few things going on here there's and it's important to separate them one is you feel like you're a burden just because you're not getting enough from your friend back doesn't mean you're a burden those are two separate things in my opinion um you're i i bet you're not a burden but i also bet that yeah this as you know this person isn't uh able to give you as much as you need would like you would like um and that's fine from from both ends but yeah like the the longer you don't talk to someone about it the the the more you're gonna resent them for not caring for you enough and so it's really your choice like you could it sounds like you have like a fairly good handle on it like you're you're you're aware enough that like Like, she's like this and it's not personal and she's busy.
42:49So you're aware of the state of play, but if it's bugging you, you do have the power to make an issue. And obviously, it's always easier said than done. But in terms of lubrication tactics, passive-aggressive remarks that might be alluding to how you're feeling. Yeah. over WhatsApp or Snapchat. Getting bladdered and doing it that way. Or more physical things like fighting. Yes, fighting is good. Fisting is good also. Fisting too. A bitch slap is one I quite like. A bitch slap, if you will. Slapping someone off guard. In a bitch style. In a bitch style, gladly named after. the bitches but no in all seriousness I know all the advice I've probably given you you're like yeah and maybe it's more like the how do you actually do it how did you do it with your friend I sent her a whatsapp and then she sent me a whatsapp back immediately and was like yeah I've been feeling the vibes I always think there were vibes it was more just like we weren't giving each other the time that we both deserve do you know i mean and it's always there's always or there usually is good reason so it's always better to talk about it but if it was me i would do a voice note on whatsapp that's but that's my that's my preferred method of communication that's my ways of working that's how my brain is like aligned that's how i feel it is because if you do a text it's really hard to get the tone right um i find i can sound like an arse if i text um and then to do it in person it just is hard unless you're sort of like setting the scene that it's going to be a big chat it's hard to slip something like that into conversation uh so what's that voice note and if you're not a great orator write a letter because that's romantic as well.
45:04That's romantic as fuck. Everything's romantic. Everything is romantic and everything my friend is doing is pissing me off. Why don't they care about me? But also, you know what else helps? Relying on other friends or not relying on friends at all. Or reaching out to new people perhaps to experiment with that. Fill your plate elsewhere. But I'm not saying you should abandon this friend because they're not giving you what you want, but it is part of the solution. But I would say more important is that you get it out in the open. Yeah, true. But we love you and we're grateful that you sent in this agony aunt because you did message, oh, Bill's here.
45:47We love you even though you wrote a message that wasn't easily readable by Sue. Hi, Bill. Wow. are you wondering who's behind me oh you've got oh and what's his name that's vernon k the zoom's following me around bill oh that's cool i hate it proper technology in this thing well done guys is this your first remote podcast the first remote podcast ever cheers to that cheers to that are you about to get changed in the background shall i no yeah how was your how was your gym and pool or gym uh made massive gains um both mentally and physically and uh did two lengths oh it's boring isn't it i think any like activity that's like getting from a to b but then going back to a and then back to b and then back to a yeah it's really so boring so boring shall we get bill to read the next agony on if he's down i would love that then that will involve me then having an opinion and no no you've got places to be uh okay well i'll listen to this my partner wants an open relationship but is unable to hide that they aren't actually comfortable with me being with other people they claim to do and are not into it but add extra rules and get uncomfortable when i discuss it i'm comfortable being closed and they know this but they still want to open i don't like the idea of giving an ultimatum but i don't want to stay in such an awkward situation thank you bill wonderfully rad um much to ponder on and i will leave you guys to discuss well i think i know i know i know where we're both going to go on this one?
47:46Well, I just think you should say it. Like, if you're not happy, communication is key. Should we stop doing the agony aunts because it's always just like, yeah, you just need to say something. But I think that is a lesson that lots of people are needing. Or that just open relationships don't work. Oh, and that bit. But I think regardless of the issue that most people seem to be having in relationships, it's always solved by communication because the solve isn't always like oh you stay together or you like break up like it's how you get to that thing which is ultimately communication they have been communicating yeah they have been communicating but they haven't been addressing the true well exactly they haven't been confronting are they being honest they claim to but uh are you taking a picture but add extra rules and uncomfortable i'm sorry rereading it oh that's okay sorry yeah they they claim to do um but then they get uncomfortable when they discuss it the claiming seems like there's not a lot of honesty going around anyway i really i must mustache thanks bill um he's very lovely he's a nice boy isn't he a nice fella um yeah the fuck this person You can't have your cake.
49:12Oh, wow. You can't have your cake and eat it, okay? Yeah, just stop being open. Like, they want... Yeah, exactly. They can't be fucking about all the other people and you can't. Go get your pussy, babe, or your nunny or whatever, or your dicky. Yeah, what's so good about this person's pussy? Yeah, exactly. No, but sorry. In all seriousness, this is just bullshit. Yeah, you need to confront it. Plain and simple. and I even though I kind of say that open relationships don't work I think they can work for a bit I think they have an expiry day but that's besides the point here to be honest but it's not about me it's not about us it's not about me it's not about my stance on open relationships being stupid hell on earth they could work but this is clearly a betrayal of the of the law of trust Of trust, that's what we call it.
50:11Of trust. Should we... Should we call it? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I can't even see it because the fucking Zoom keeps moving to my face. Because Vernon fucking Kay. Any calls to action for our audience? Anything you want to plug right now, Sue I Think? Make sure you give this a like and subscribe. Make sure you listen to I'm Not In Love. make sure you buy a ticket to So I Think I'm Friends where Louis may or may not be performing to I'm going to be doing an hour of stand up about Drake No he's going to be doing a noise set with his iPad I'm going to be doing iPad DJ Yeah literally but playing only PC music Soundcloud mashups But it's nearly sold out, it's over 80 % sold out and it's like annoying Do you know when it's like the last few tickets and you're just like waiting Yeah what the fuck are you doing Guys what are you doing better on the 16th of July Than fucking seeing your two favourite podcasters Perform music Exactly What else does anyone need Um An open relationship Well yeah apparently Sue and I are going to leave you Sue have a great time in Budapest I hope you do go for a drink Thank you Yeah I'm going to go out today I'm going to order some food And then I'm going to Even if I don't go for a drink I think I would just have a wander to do a big loop of Budapest.
51:39See it. Is it 8.20 where you are or 7.20? 7.20. Oh, wow. You're only one hour ahead. Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby. Okay. We'll have a lovely evening. Yeah. You too. I love you. Bye. Now it's this moment. Bye.
From the publisher
we discussed budapest, the putrid dystopia of hackney half, drake, trying not to be a dick, and an agony aunt about an unavailable friend
