talking straight w/ paul black

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0:43Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required, compatibility and availability varies 18+. I mean that's the that's the that's the convention with like both small and big podcasts now is that like you don't say when you start rolling you just kind of start talking and then it's like people feel like they're in the room and then it's like is it awkward to be because I knew I was actually speaking about this on my podcast that I have where it was like do you do it like oh thanks for coming and it's like thanks for having me and it's like that's fucking weird as fuck shit I know No, you just go straight in.

1:22Yeah, go straight in. Well, hello.

1:28Paul Black, welcome to the show. How are you doing? Thanks for having me. Oh, no thanks for coming. No, this is my second favourite podcast in the world, genuinely. And let people know what your favourite is. My own one. It's called Who Agrees, you can listen to it wherever you get your podcasts. And you've actually, I was admiring earlier, you've sorted out synchronising your Patreon with your Spotify. Yeah, I don't do that. I don't know how to do that I was going to say how do you do that we have a producer and he does all those things he knows all that if anyone boring wants to do there will be so many people don't say that because you'll literally get 400 DMs there's 500 sound engineers that know how to do a thing or two I mean is yours a friend like first yeah that's the thing I feel like you you don't want to upset the the chemistry you don't want someone to come in and they're in a nightmare and they ruin the vibe of straight diva oh god I know Imagine just someone else just sat there right now just being awkward.

2:22Yeah. It needs to be a friend because a lot, they don't really, they don't speak the full time you're speaking. So it's like, if that's a stranger, that's awkward as fuck. Literally. Yeah, you don't want that. Just looking at each other, especially if they're like straight. Yeah. No offense. But ours is. Does your producer pipe up a lot? Oh, yeah. Like, but in a way we want him to. Like, he doesn't, no, he doesn't like, that sounds like he's like, can we just get that? No, he just like, we sometimes go, can we have a straight man's opinion? Rarely, but we'll, yeah you'll be like what does the straight community think about this and ask okay okay we kind of do that with bill yeah yeah we all have a bell in our life yeah exactly as a soundboard yeah honestly jumping off because it's like trixie and katia's podcast there's just like i don't know who the fuck is behind it but they're just like googling things yeah have you seen that there's needs to be luckily you're the guy with the laptop but there needs to be someone with like internet access yeah fact checking it's such a wonderful safety net it really makes me so good because you're always I know like someone said to me they hate less than my podcast because we're always wrong about something they want to like tell us that we're wrong and they can't and I was like but that's why we've got yeah yeah that's why you've got the mic I was like well they should do a podcast yeah you're going to your own boring fucking factually accurate it's fun to be factually inaccurate yeah exactly that's part of the kind of spice of life I would say in a in an age in of bearing all for for everyone to see um paul you're staying in the wondrous um place known as east london right now i thought you were looking that up today is it cold hackney yes um i'm beth mcgrain yeah what do you think of london do you enjoy coming here do you know it's so weird because like every time i come to london quite a lot but i'm always here for like one or two days and I'm like I feel like I never get the authentic experience I'm like please someone snatch my phone goddess I need I need the real experience but what I I'm definitely still like in the phase where I romanticize it like I'm I'm coming off the tube and like tucking my receding hair laying behind my right like I think I'm gonna like it here like that's I still feel that vibe with London a bit yeah I want it to be ruined I had that for like a good three years I used to just like walk into Central and be like wow I live here now I'm like girl if I have to go to Central I walk in my cell call it central i was talking about the state intro i call it just central london yeah just but when i was a kid we used to all say central i always central i would say going into town yeah okay that that would make sense or if you're really old school you say we're going into london yeah same thing with glasgow or people like people that are from like literally five minutes away from glasgow like they're literally on the border are like going into glasgow and i'm like yes okay um so your do you enjoy coming down to london like do you yeah i do but yesterday i was getting pissed off because i was doing so many things like in central london i was like i've walked past big ben three times and i was like oh come on the nose yeah you know he's not parenting too do you know what i mean well i'm so glad you brought that up because i've been thinking lately and i hope you agree because i know there's people out there that feel the same but like we have to kill Paddington Bear.

5:35Yeah, babe, have you seen that theatre, Paddington Bear? Oh my, that's what's really woke up for me. It's making me want to kill myself. I did TikTok about it and people agree. People agree, even Paddington fans agree. I fucking hear. That it should die with a hammer or flames or... Have you seen it? I've seen Paddington 2, I think, but maybe not Paddington 1. They're in the theatre. It's a musical now. So it's like, yes, it's a musical. Paddington, the musical. Is that the only way we can get people to the theatre now is to do Paddington? It's fucked, babe. it's insane and i hate him and it's like also like is paddington from peru is that the truth i don't know or does he just go he's from somewhere far away yeah yeah it's from but why is he like the like symbol of britishness if he's from peru i don't get it i mean why did that happen and it all the time when someone's far right yeah it's all of that law yeah actually paddington's an immigrant yeah and also like that like meme that people use every time someone dies and it's Paddington guiding them.

6:31Oh, he's holding the hand. Oh, no. And it happened, what was the old man in the garden? Captain Tom. Yeah, Captain Tom. I was going to call him, no. Yeah, Captain Tom. Yeah, and his daughter that used all the money opened us back. Yeah, took all the money. Do you know what? People kicking off about that, but I'm like, well, it was her dad. Yeah. If my dad was walking around the garden making money, I'd take it when he died. Yeah. He obviously wanted to do it. Well, we don't know. Maybe he didn't. Well, yeah. She was like, get the fuck three more laps yeah yeah he lived for ages though good for him yeah yeah honestly though could you actually imagine have you seen the other one um because there's about four people left on world war ii um and we remember but i think uh there's that one that's like getting on like uh this morning on the minute just like talking anti-right rhetoric have you seen that yeah yeah it's so bad and he's like this is not the uk we've big john was doing anti-right rhetoric and then and then i started seeing him do stand-up and it was like johnson stand-up i mean to be fair to him i imagine it's his first time doing it christ he's trying to you know he's trying to unite the crowd he's doing some he's doing some doing it well he's doing some half decent crowd work you know and then he kind of rips into one crowd member classic yeah and then and then he just goes into a kind of like fuck all politicians you know, fuck Farage, fuck Keir Starmo I think that's something we can all agree on and it's kind of just like Did that unite everyone in the room?

8:01But you know what I say this as someone who is literally a professional stand-up comedian and that is where I make most of my income I hate stand-ups so much I would fucking hate it so much I've never ever done it I feel like I did it because I was someone basically offered me like a free slot at Edinburgh Fringe because I'd done like TikToks or whatever where like do you want to just try stand up and I was like okay and it was like lockdown Fringe so it was like it had to be outside it was in a car park but they made it it was a really nice car park they put a curtain on yeah they did and it actually went really well and I was like fuck it and then I realised I was like this is like I'm not making any money being a fucking writer so it's time to be a writer or AK stand-up.

8:46But you were never like a, because your brother's a stand-up, right? Yeah, yes. Oh, hello. My brother is also a stand-up, but I would also agree that I don't love stand-up. Like I feel, I love comedy, but I feel uncomfortable at a stand-up gig. Yeah. And I find the... It's awkward. I find the context of it weird that it's like, I find it so hard to do well to not be like, I'm going to talk about myself. The format is just from the start. Yeah. feels off to me but then you do see like occasionally you'll see someone that's like really amazing i went to see meg's daughter's show at the me and her were doing the we had like the she was on after my slot so we had like a crossover in the dressing room every day and i'm just like obsessed yeah she's funny but she is exactly like the vibe that in our video that's just what her personality is like which i wasn't expecting i thought like it's it's a bit yeah and it was just and it was so funny because like she had like our girlfriend and like three of our friends with her and every day I'd come into dressing room, I'd come straight off stage she'd be there because she'd be going on next and she would just be like kissing her girlfriend so passionately and I'd be like, mood, do you know what you're like, fuck we're in Edinburgh and this is my life now I got that vibe from that she was a legend at the end I was like, I'm going to just admit Taylor that I'm a fan because I've been very casual and I was like, I'm such a big fan, can I get a picture with you and she was like, of course I'm going to come see your show and I was like, oh baby was finished you weren't going did you go no of course not it was the last day of the the fringe so no there was no more shows she wasn't going to come how was fringe though in general so obviously did the the car park moment how long is fringe so it's the full month of august but i don't do that so like i'd like most comedians the best comedians don't the best comedians can just do like you've got a social media following you don't have to basically that's the rules but i did this i've done it five times now um and i do love it like in like in glasgow it's such a thing like when you grow up like you hate edinburgh yeah yeah like because edinburgh is like gorgeous or what have you been edinburgh no well as a kid i went to glasgow the other day i went into edinburgh no no please what were you doing in glasgow i was playing a show i played oramore i didn't know that yeah i played or more what the fuck you need to start using some fucking um digital ads so the goat that's crazy i was supporting i was supporting lapsley in glasgow shut up yeah yeah or more it was fierce it was actually the nicest show we played like the backstage is beautiful have you played that's so funny because my first glasgow show was in or more and at the time the backstage was like actually horrendous like the couch was one of those like burst leather couches literally falling into the springs have you been recently no but i've heard it's really nice they've got a tv playing like an fireplace kind of vibe it's fierce it was honestly lovely showers and everything what yeah crazy it was not but i did when i was doing a show there i had um like lockdown i was doing six shows and then lockdown restrictions came back in and then i had to make them like half the capacity of them and make them like 12 shows so i was like and that was the first time i'd really yeah ever done like a lengthy thing and i was like oh my god this is going to be the rest of my life i'm just going to do 12 shows in every say my friend lauren came to see you and said it was amazing oh really lauren lyle oh yeah of course sorry the other day do you know what i knew that you must have been scottish adjacent in some way babe honestly the every guest that we've had on here basically but we've had talia we've got lauren next week we've got lauren next week yeah and what is like did a scottish person save you from drowning as a child One of my best friends Studied in Glasgow Another one of my best friends is from Glasgow That makes sense See whenever I do shows in London It's like 80 % Scottish people That live in London in the audience And then the other 20 % are my Scottish adjacents Yeah yeah yeah They either have a Scottish flatmate And they understand their accent And that's another thing that puts me off London Because I know that all my Scottish friends that live here Experienced this but even being down like when I'm here for a few days I always experience someone not understanding how the fuck is that possible oh I think people are trying to do a Glaswegian accent yeah they do it like they literally I remember one of the first times I came down I'd done a show and someone was like what was he they kept asking me to repeat what I was saying like do you know what it is you sound like Shrek that's it Shrek yeah Shrek you sound like a fucking posh bin yeah it was it was horrible it was it was terrible but um oh my god yeah and people do it all the time and it's like if that not that they just go scotland back to you it's like the first time maybe a bit funny these friends of friends or these random no randomers or like anyone like like that serves me right yesterday i went to the stussy shop my own fault for being a hype beast loser but i got in there and there was an american woman working there and i said excuse me do you have this top like another size or is it just the sizes that are out and then she was like just kind of looked at me like and i was like i just repeated what i said and then she went slow down baby no way i still bought a funny way of saying it though yeah slow down baby yeah it was yeah so that happens but i could get over that i suppose yeah yeah or just not be around or you just don't repeat yourself and just look at them yeah make it uncomfortable for everybody in the room one of us is gonna have to pipe up first who's it gonna be not me but speaking oh no you go you go no because i'm changing i'm going back it's a comedy i was gonna go to speaking of scottish adjacent people yes i wanted to ask you like why do you think like scottish patter is such a big export and like and then more specifically like you your brother tracky mcleod you're like checking notes on laptop Scottish people with notoriety of some kind internet specific well is that yeah exactly what's I think that it goes back to the BuzzFeed days RIP but does BuzzFeed still exist surely not I think it does I don't think it should but I think it's probably no but I'm very of the vibe of like bring shit like that back because I seen a TikTok the other day and it said let's bring back like now like millennial humour but not even in like a ironic way like and actually that was kind to real as fuck like i've seen a girl saying like people that will wear like a t-shirt that says don't speak to me until i've had my morning coffee that's kind of real as fuck and it is yeah actually they've got a point i'm not saying start saying like doggos and all that but like something like that anyway that's not what i was that was not answering your question but no it goes back to the buzzfeed days right it was so bad we were in the trenches um but like buzzfeed used to do these things it'd be like top 50 Scottish patter tweets and it would be like why Scottish Twitter is the best thing you haven't found out about yet and that was like I think it was I don't know a bit of a cultural moment of people just heard of Scottish people but it's the same thing it's like northern people in Scottish but 90 % of the same humour you know and when I do shows in like Manchester or Newcastle like it's it's the same vibe but like it's sometimes when I'm doing stand-up I'm like do I need to change this to make it more like to the place I am like I had a bit before about we have something in scotland called the i'm brew carnival naturally which um is kind of life defining it's um it's just like rides and like whatever like it's like a fun fair basically sponsored by i'm but i had a bit about that one of my stand-up shows and i got to london i was like fuck what can i change that to it i was like that's so stupid i just stopped i was like yeah i was like nearly everyone needed scottish why would i change it but then it's because when you do shows in London it's like London people you'll invite like agents or something more and you're like I'm just hoping that if enough people are laughing even if they don't get it they'll just something's working yeah also Iron Brew Scotland people everyone knows that connection oh yeah I think they've heard of it yeah do you enjoy Iron Brew?

16:43I like it do you know what it pisses me off American people always say it tastes like bubble gum that's not correct that's not correct I actually don't like Iron Brew that's the end of that also I feel like I need to explain just if someone is not watching this and is just listening I literally when the cat was when Sophie was on my lap a minute ago I just went hello like really quiet and I'm like see if that's picked up into the mic and you were just talking and I'm going in the background we recently got a complaint that like because some people listen to it and don't watch it that people they want us to explain whatever Sophie's about because like you said we'll randomly start going like hello yeah yeah or she'll yeah or she'll like meow but like it's just like you probably just get to know if you don't know that yeah i think we don't need to over explain i'm taking it back it's good for the mystery so okay you were obviously raised to despise edinburgh fuck sorry i took us on 25 tangents no no no i love it that's the whole point of a podcast someone should have a podcast called tangents has that been done has that been done they should and they should make it about like their favorite meals yes oh my god and i did something the other day and it was like it was called like life tracks for it was a bbc sounds thing where you just pick songs about your life and i was like i was sitting there going like and how are we getting away with not calling this desert island it's also on bbc i was like so what's how's that work but people just do it yeah just do this but edinburgh i love edinburgh So you were just like Thrown into kind of Like a pretty big spot in the fringe Because my first stand up show was an hour Like I had never done like 5 or 10 I love seeing when I say that People go oh my god that's amazing Speaking for an hour I just can't imagine You could just do this for an hour and it's like People will like it For some reason the idea of doing it to a stage Is suddenly terrifying Plan B is a backup birth control option That's there for you when things don't go according to plan.

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19:47isn't it um yeah it's the sophie's found a leaf blower

19:59no it's the idea of doing it to a room and it's the idea of like you have to win over that room right now we are in control of the room yeah that's exactly what i did because i only did stand up to people that right me already so i had a much easier way and like i did an hour at first but i like it was to people that had bought tickets because they followed me online like so it was so much easier they want you to win but this year at the fringe i actually didn't have a solo show so i did loads of spots just to kind of try new material or whatever and it was literally the most humbling experience of my life because i would like do these like there was one day where i had like three shows back to back and i would like close one show and obviously closing spot is best because they've been laughing for ages opening spots the worst because they're like make me laugh or i'll kill you or myself and like so i'd do like the closing slot and i'd be like okay best gig my life like i am the best comedian in the world and then i would open the next one i'd be like i i need to die tonight yeah if i kill myself will anyone miss me yeah and like but then i realized like throughout that like dying on your arse and stand up is objectively hilarious like yeah and i always say that to stand ups that are like starting i'm like see the fact that you've sat and written a joke and you've performed it probably rehearsed it in your room to no one and then you've came on a stage held a microphone and tried to make people laugh and it didn't work that's so fucking funny it's like yeah that's actually so embarrassing it's hilarious I feel like it's all about like how you handle that situation whereas a lot of people and that's when stand up is really painful is they're like they just don't know what to do whereas like I feel like the best can just live in that pocket of and I can't like do you know I can't deal with hecklers either like because I didn't get them for a while and then like sometime when I did my first Edinburgh like full run at the fringe there was this one woman responding to literally everything I said as if it was just me and her having a conversation so I'd be like so I was doing that she was like yep yep no that one that one yeah I do that too and I was like shut the fuck up oh my god but I don't know how to deal with hecklers like I said this recently my friend was like you're just submitting you just stole something from another comedian but I literally have no way to deal with hecklers.

22:09I just copied something Alan Carr said once on Alan Carr Chatty Man when a woman kept shouting out and he said, excuse me, this is Alan Carr Chatty Man. It's not crazy women in the audience chatting that. And I was like, okay, that cleared. That really worked. I just do a variation of that when it happens. Sorry, Alan Carr. I hate it. I think you have to be a psychopath like Jimmy Carr and just know like, oh, everything someone could say against you. Yeah. You're already thinking. Yeah. And that's a perfect segue. I would like to promote my show at the Riyadh Comedy Festival.

22:42that's truly insane they're actually super nice people yeah oil isn't running out like we don't need to have other industries boom in there and yeah no i i do like stand up and i like i've found over years there's loads of people that i really enjoy that do it but i think i had to learn that you don't just have to do it the way you've seen really successful people do it because i hate when people are like evil to the crowd like yeah or like do the whole thing is like oh if you're sitting in the front row i'm gonna slide i'm like i ain't looking at anyone in the eye i'm looking at the yeah the abyss in the distance i don't have any interest in doing that but like and i remember one of my friends just like you don't have to do it like that so you can do it in your own way that's the weird thing i find about stand-up is that like i feel like purist comedians think like crowd work is cool because they're like it's a it's a level playing field like it's completely improvised but most of the if it's just like slagging off the person in the front row it does feel, it feels like low hanging Yeah, definitely and it's like that what's that guy called and he just goes, it's like that Scouse guy and he just goes, nonce like you literally say it and he just says nonce and everyone loves that That's class that lad That is class They love it, people can't, they just love being called nonce well not famously but in this context they do, they can't get enough of it it's mad but yeah but the thing I say to people Tim like you two could go and do stand up right now and it would be good like people think you need to like fucking study it or something yeah if you're funny you're funny I don't find it hard to make people laugh when I need to make people laugh I think you can just be self deprecating and it's very like easy people like that yeah you just make fun of yourself Sue does good like really good one liners in between her songs yeah that's the closest I've got to stand up do you know what there is a lot of crossover that I was watching an interview Lily Allen the other day and she was talking about looking forward to do a tour where she isn't like constantly trying to do stand-up comedy in between because she I don't know if it's like is it like a thing that you feel like oh I need to need to make them laugh now yeah I just always like the reason I do it is especially when you're playing in like bars especially straight people it's like if I can make them laugh I can convince them to like the music yeah which is basically like the only reason I started doing it but I suppose I mean people love Adele because Adele's Adele yeah do you know what I mean like it's less so about the music obviously the music slaps more.

25:02Do you know what I mean? I think it's just another level to make people comfortable with you. Yeah, and I think it does work enough people like you. A lot of people like your personality and your music, so it's like that's what gets them there, I suppose. It's a fine line, as we have often discussed, like wanting to be taken seriously and not taking the piss out of yourself too much. My biggest fear, though, is watching stand-up. I've watched a few stand-ups around the towns of Emperfent where they'll be doing a bit that just isn't funny and then they just have to do it to the end. Oh my God. Do you know what the worst thing is?

25:36Sometimes you'll like have like a callback to something like and you, but you forget the set up. So it's like, and then you just hit a punchline, no one laughs and you're going, why the fuck are you not laughing? That's hilarious and really smart and actually call back to the first five minutes of my set and then you go, oh shit, I didn't say that. And then you just make a set with that. Yeah. It's horrible. Like, and so often I did a gig the other day and I was like, oh my God, that was so bad. and then my friend was like oh it went really well and i was like to fucking hood when people loved it and i was like i don't know why i just didn't get that vibe but some people like do not like i i can go see a show and love it but i'm not like fucking slapping my knee and like yeah that's true you can't but like sometimes people sit in the front row and it's like maybe you could have a few back yeah yeah it's like it's like it's like um radio four listeners they're like they laugh like not in a feeling of enjoyment yeah it's like yeah it's like i i got it i understood what's going on yeah i didn't really i'm dead inside yeah i didn't find it funny i just know what's going on but um do you feel like is there any kind of um i was gonna say target on your back which is a lot a big exaggeration but like no i would say that anyways yeah i would just say that like as someone that came through social media or when you're are you on like the same bills ever as like like because there's a lot of comedians who like are terrible at social media but a like circuit comedian yeah and I'm the opposite yeah great social media shit I stand up no but it was interesting to hear you say just now that you were like why we like why do you overthink making people laugh yeah which was quite like interesting to hear you say that but I think see with like people that like I'd say in Scotland anyway in my experience like 99 % of people are really sound that are on the circuit and it's like there's occasional person that's like how are you playing the same size room as me or like how are you doing the headline lineslot when I've been like there's this kind of vibe of like if you want like booed off like an old miners club stage and like the 80s then you haven't earned just right but people most sound people don't give a fuck yeah but like I also don't really care because I think all the time I'm like I don't want to do stand-up I should stop saying this yeah actually I've got a show in London next year so three shows so where are you playing Soho Theatre oh my god lovely yeah if you guys want to come and decide to love stand-up yeah yeah i would love to come no i still see stand-up it's just like of all the forms of comedy yeah it's not in my top do you know what me either but it can be amazing like when it's good for me it's more about like being able to take things into your own hands and like make a living because for me like i was working in tv first and it just everything takes such a long time you're there's gatekeepers of it but we stand-up comedy there is a certain level gatekeepers to it but like no one can like stop you just putting on a show yourself and then selling tickets to your audience and then writing what you want and like there's no one saying like oh could it be more like this could be more like that you can just do what you want and it meant like i could have like regular income from something creative and i was like well this works and then i really got to like it a lot more throughout I also think I my Allerge allergy to stand up is like completely personal like Because because no No just because having to see my brother so much and what's his name?

28:56He's got Alfie Brown He is he's hilarious. He's like I think it's one of the funniest people in the world, but Seeing your bro. I don't wonder if you've ever felt the same seeing your brother do stand up is quite a stressful experience and i think through going to fringe with him when i was a kid loved it obviously but like oh so he's been doing it for he's been doing it for like 10 12 years he's 11 years older than me okay um but like i think yeah i was just kind of overexposed to it and i wondered like uh if you had a similar thing or if like you enjoyed seeing your brother do you know what is so funny i was in amsterdam last week and i went into this like shop and i had these little cards that was like it was like a drinking game or something no i was like in the style of those like cards against humanity thing but it was like for like therapy so i was like pull out this card and talk about this topic and i thought i need to get that for the podcast because i was like when we were running dry on things to talk about we'll just pull these cards out and one of them i honestly pulled around one for the deck and it's it was called like what would you do in this situation and it was about giving good like advice to people and it said your brother's decided he wants to start stand-up it's not very good you don't have the heart to tell him what would you do i was like oh okay specific oddly specific um but no i that's not sure because i think he is good he's really funny but um yeah i think doing it together we we started doing stuff online together like sketches in like 2017 so like and that's where it kind of started for us but then we went and did separate he did stand up first actually but we we were speaking about this recently of like we both kind of just take like big breaks from doing it because we want to do other things and it's like trying to edge a bit forward to stand up and then go and do all the writing stuff.

30:38You really want to get across the line and then go back to it. But yeah, I think anyone who's in the circuit feels overexposed to it because they're kind of like, yeah, we get it now. And it's like some of your friends are like, oh, I've seen them do this set like 25 times. So I'm going to go out in the crowd and try and laugh as much and pretend that I'm here for the first time so the crowd gets on board. But yeah, I think everyone's a bit overexposed to it. okay and so like what is your your true passion is like writing for tv i'm a writer um no i i've been actually film first for me but that's just like it's so hard to get into and like with the tv as well it was easier to do comedy with no money because it was like fucking people don't care if it looks shit if it's funny but like if you're trying to like put a short film out and it looks shit no matter how good like the content of it is like if it looks shit and it's shit yeah but um yeah so i i've been able to work on a few things like direct and stuff recently and i want to just kind of continue that but it's like so far and few between this like you need to keep the stand-up going yeah why have i came on here just like i fucking hate i hate watching it i hate doing it no um no i love it i do love it i'm not complaining um yeah that was an official message from straight diva and paul black um no and i want to talk more about straight diva and less about Paul Black.

31:55Yeah. Empty. That's how I turn it around. That's how I'm turning it around. Sound like ungrateful, but let's turn it around. Yeah. No, but straight diva. Dazed recognized. I know. Crazy. Funny. Congratulations. Thanks, babe. Yeah. Fuck him. Yeah. No, you can't. You can't. You're not in the game. No, we love him. We love him. They love that kind of shit. I want the cover. No. Yeah. Yeah, we want the cover. You'll be getting it. And I honestly think if you guys keep going at this rate, like, See if you two wrote a jingle for this podcast. Next year, Pitchfork top 100 songs of the year. Maybe number 73, sandwich between an MJ Lederman song and, I don't know, Joni Mitchell probably have an album with Frankie Valli's animatronic.

32:37I feel like Pitchfork would hate us for some reason. Well, yes. Well, I don't know. They'll love it. They'll either love us or despise us. I feel like you could do a good impression of MJ Lederman's singing voice. Can you do that? That's putting you on the spot. But I feel like you could. what's the lyric of his and a wristwatch it was okay I was trying to do it the other day yeah I thought it was I was trying to do it the other day to my friend because I was I was actually talking about Pitchforks like top 100 songs whatever and I was like so many of these because I always listen to them go right what haven't I heard this year I should hear and I was like so many of these guys sound the exact fucking same like it's that and my friend was like no they are completely different genres and I was like I'm sorry this Geese song sounds like fucking MJ Lenderman and sounds like fucking I can't believe you would say that And I was like I can't It absolutely does It does sound the same And it's that kind of voice But you think all music Where straight men is terrible Yeah it just sounds the same Do you know one of my friends When I was a girl Remember I said Well If the shoe fits They have completely different affectations Completely different subject matters Cameron addresses the religious Whereas MJ addresses the personal Dreadful But they both got that kind of Strained American Like Yeah I like it though I'm a fan Secret posh boy Yeah Yeah they're all secret posh boys Of course Yeah Yeah No they Like literally Taylor's oldest time Out and proud Yeah Why are you not doing better then

34:07Where's the name Step it up You know I literally Listen I have so I have such a Working class chip On my shoulder That like I will make anything a class issue I was actually talking to someone the other day and I was like dentistry is a class issue no it is and then everyone was like yeah no that kind of is real it so is I haven't got my teeth done in ages my gums are receding my bottom gums I'm fucked babe do you know I was seeing on TikTok that people are now not going to Turkey they're going to Jordan to get their teeth done and it's like in the Middle East Sparks hello no air that was a battlefield that's the wrong one listen I love Jordan Sparks what is Jordan Sparks doing now Alexis Jordan she was in Waitress I thought you were saying Waitress she was in Waitress the other day I thought Jordan what are you doing here no yeah she was in Waitress she was doing that oh good I like when they get their little stage moment after yeah because not everyone's meant to be a pop star that lasts forever exactly yeah they pivot they change she's paying her bills and what is Nicole Scherzinger doing she's like MAGA babe now no she's in she's doing the same thing yeah well she was Sunset Boulevard yes did you watch it no I never seen it in the Nook Peak.

35:20Somebody please bring this straight man up to speed. They're both in theatre shows. Jordan Swartz in Waitress and Nicole is in Sunset Boulevard. Sunset Boulevard. Well, it's like the kind of new version of Sunset Boulevard so it's all like bleak and bleak. Has she got those chops? Yeah. Are you joking? Oh my God, where the hell have you been? The downfall of Pussycat Dolls wasn't because Nicole didn't have talent. She probably had too much. It's because she was probably awful. Yeah, definitely. but she commented in some like MAGA thing recently like some so yeah we've lost her Nicole did you see when lockdown happened and she was living with a boyfriend in like one of like the newest states because her boyfriend's English she's with her boyfriend's parents but she was doing TikToks and like do you know those new build estates you build on the side of a Mertway she was in one of those that's kind of fierce actually can you actually imagine no I know you walk out your door Nicole's showing us I'm like alright babe what's tea do you know I really respect do you know the pussycat doll that like rose up yeah she was like on that one I'm not having it yeah it comes up every so often on TikTok Melanie was like I've had enough of this dictatorship where Nicole's getting all the solos they're not even giving us backing vocals they said it got to the point when Nicole was recording the backing vocals and we're like what are we doing here babe obviously they were just dancers but sorry yeah that's true wow in the UK Ashley Roberts yeah and the other one Kimberly Wyatt who had a song with Agro Santos who remembers wait isn't Kimberly Wyatt go you look familiar where do I know you from who also had a song with Agro Santos.

36:47Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he loves the Kimberlies. Ooh, come and get you some. Can I tell you something so, like, I'm really ashamed about this. I'm not the type of person that would ever leave a hate comment online, but when I was in high school, Agro Santos posted a cover of like, I think it was like Use Somebody by Kingsley. I can't remember. And I commented, this is really bad. And he replied. No. And he wrote, not for everyone, thumbs up. Agro Santos, if you listen to Straight Diva. That is fair. that's a fierce response you're not thinking of N-Dub's cover of The Man Who Can't Be Moved are you of course I'm not I used to do you know every Christmas I used to buy the Live Lounge album so and then Talisa once did Titanium cover like David Gett and Sia like I love I love Talisa I would die for Talisa but she like she couldn't hit the Sia notes and it was tough and people really brought that up to her and I wanted to go like I would have chose a different song yeah could you the best live lounge is uh lily allen doing cooks naive yeah that is the best one do you know i got the interview the cooks at a festival a few months ago and i was like this is so random like now you're just like what why am i here yeah first of all i'm here and also like how did this happen like not like in a way like i've always dreamt to this but like you know like it's so random i'm like okay random they were really nice.

38:09Oh good. But again didn't realise they were posh. Oh you're joking. Is it the kooks? Can you apologise on behalf? Yeah. Yeah of course. Is it the kooks that had a really awkward interaction with Simon Amstel on that old Channel 4? Everyone did it. Everyone did it. No no no. No the T4 with Makita. Oh yeah. Alexa Trang did it as well. Oh yeah. That was genuinely like horrible. But it was amazing that they literally were both like so young especially. I think Makita was like 19 and they were just like do what you want with these celebrities and they did do you remember they did Lamar from afar it was just a segment where Lamar would be really far away and they would say things and I'm like imagine we got to do that TV's not the same they need to bring T4 back and give it the original see if we're regressing in so many other ways Lamar from afar is iconic imagine like do you remember Spencer on Nevermind the Buzzcocks did you guys ever see this Oh yeah, no sorry, I was thinking of Preston Sorry, no I'm thinking of Preston So it's Preston from Big Brother And he's going out with Sean Excuse me, serious musician Winner, winner Preston, and not the winner Chantel was the winner Chantel?

39:23Chantel Yeah but they were making fun of her Because she wrote a book or something I was actually thinking Chantel would be a great guest for the podcast She would be amazing And she gets about three likes these days I need to look on her Insta now Was it Chantel? Definitely, not Chanel it was Chantel but the whole thing was they were putting her in Celebrity Big Brother and like just pretend she was a celebrity and she wasn't then obviously like the greatest love story of her time but then Preston kept making fun of no Simon Amstel kept making fun of the book of her autobiography and that's why he left and that would just never ever happen or the Jameelia one Javine's a slag the one where she called Javine a slag no the one with the line up where that person he sold it out did you also want a slag you know Javine who was supposed to be in the final line up of Girls Aloud but it was like the last one and Javine had an affair with Alicia Dixon's man and Javine Javine was on Nevermind Do I Was Cuts and she just went I'm going to say it Javine's a slag Javine's fucking sick I saw her at Hoop she's a fucking ledge thank you by Javine it might be the national anthem that has literally moved me to tears every time every time we saw her live it was so good and the music video for every last Bruise you gave me And have you seen The video Of course The music video Is incredible On the radiator Fierce ass Fuck Jamelia We need Jamelia on here It was so good And I seen a TikTok Once of someone Calling her broke And she was like I'm going to show you my house She's not She's got the money That was when The money was good Back then Yeah yeah yeah You can have one a hit And then you're fine for life And I mean she had a few Beware of the dog She did it Yeah she did have a few I love it when you get Deep in your pop music history I love Jamelia so British pop music history I'm so like I could like have so much knowledge that until I'm like here this is when it's useful but otherwise it's fucking useless.

41:11What were you growing up on listening to? Do you know this is so funny I was obsessed with Tattoo but like I don't know any other song with them Oh my god you don't know their cover of They're not gonna get us They did a cover of The Smiths How Soon Is Now by The Smiths It is fucking incredible is so shit like it's so good it's so good and Morris had commented at once he said those two little Russian lesbians I heard it it was good oh my god that's sick but I was obsessed with like tattoo album tracks I don't know why D-cuts so I'm relieved actually like five year old boy in Glasgow in a house in the state that's so nice finding tattoo but where the fuck that came from but then one of them turned out to be really homophobic yeah one of them they've both gone like different ways so you just know everything and one of them when it's about gay things I'll know that's it and the one julia from tattoo she's got like cheek filler out the waz like yeah she's loving it purge mask okay she's looking crazy and homophobic so how did you get from kind of tattoo uh deep cuts to pitchfork top 100 songs of the year it was a journey it was a journey and i don't know i just like i i literally am one of those now people you don't like give your brain a setting to have a thought because you literally like oh i'll listen to music when i'm walking in i'll listen to music when I'm in the shower I'll listen like you just never stop listening to music and I think that's the problem of why I have no thoughts I've been thinking about that a lot recently I never just sit with my own thoughts there is always white noise do you ever raw dog a walk like no headphones I've been raw dogging walks this week and it's been eye opening I tried it it's shit what a bit weird this is my friends have my headphones and it's been it's been the pits do you know what raw dog a walk is fucking shit like I've thought about it and i want it like i'm always trying to be any something spiritual and be like this is what i need to do and this is the problem of the world raw dog no walk is just it's awful or the only time i'm raw dog gonna walk is when things have gone really wrong yeah like or if you're so over or you're vest yeah or you're really over simulated like if i'm raw dog gonna walk you know i'm not well yeah like i raw dog and as i walk out the house for about 10 seconds because i'm like actually the headphones are too much right now yeah and then after 10 seconds bored sometimes i'm like it's good to be like like whenever i'm writing something i need to do like write dialogue for characters i'm like you do need to just listen to sometimes pause the headphones don't take them out so people don't know you're listening yeah and then you're just like that's gold i need to steal that i don't listen to podcasts really i i listen to podcasts when i'm cooking hate walking listening podcasts i even have on music because my head in general i do i listen to my own when i'm listening back before it goes out to make sure it's okay and then i listened to this and i listened to i did listen to miss me for a while but it got boring real quick it was awkward because like no you were like like does lily want to kill makita like i think she was dead and then like they got the jord the wheeled jordan stevens in and it's like it's a different vibe now so i don't listen to it anymore yeah yeah like love jordan stevens yeah me too but it's from afar Lamar from afar I sometimes find that when you listen to a podcast but it has to be a podcast that you don't really care about because there's just like that little white noise, that's when actually some of the best ideas come to the top but you need to be walking I'm not generating any ideas still, no neither you need to be moving it's one of the best things about doing a job that requires writing is that you can just go on loads of walks yeah yeah do you always wonder about songwriting because it's like do you like i guess everyone probably does it different but are you like thinking of like do you ever just be like i just need to find a way for that to be in a song like that yeah it's like and i'll make it work yeah you oh you come up with it i usually go with like a turn off phrase that i want to be the title of the song and i'll make sure it is that yeah so it's like it is it's just you're saying the other day you had the girls in your head for like two years yeah yeah but like it's not like it's just like there like you have like the first line and then that's kind of like okay and then you make it around that when you yeah that's an interesting way right i guess because i mean i do it sometimes where i'm like i need to find a way where i can like on stage or something i was like i need to find a way where i can do this certain physical comedy thing on stage yeah how do i get there i'm like i don't i'm not like i just really want to talk about this topic and explore this in like a satire way i just i just want to do something stupid and find a way to justify it yeah yeah 100 % like if you have an idea you just have to rock rock it do you know what I mean but in like in in at least lyrics there's like quite a good limit of like melody or the amount of time you have to sit but it's like comedy it feels like the fucking the walls have been blown off like you could go any direction it feels almost a bit too limitless yeah I do like things having some sort of like limitations in a way because otherwise it is a bit too like oh you're just staring at a blank screen and being like what the hell should I write about now and there was this TikTok right and I cannot find it for the life of me I try all the time and it's just like an old woman who's like smoked a million fags a day all her life and she just goes has anybody got any ideas about anything and I'm like literally me in front of a screen all the time anybody got any ideas about anything like I need that that's how I think that is the true beauty of TikTok when you see just like random people I just have a diva of the week every week on TikTok like I just find a middle aged woman and she's my hero who are your faves do you know Christine Hurst no oh my god maybe I'll know her faves my name's Christine Hurst and this is the top tips oh yeah do you know yeah yeah very comforting yeah that's like you can wear a cardigan and then that's it and it's just kind of like it's so good but when Sue buzzed me in you went I love I love I love I went oh I feel relaxed yeah I feel relaxed I feel I'm like oh this is going to be so good Also that is like You doing a voice that wasn't my So the woman who spoke a thousand fags a day It was actually my TikTok Does anyone have any idea about anything Alright

47:23Isn't that from one of your Divas Do you know what I think so much Right that's Gemma Collins Have you seen that girl on TikTok that does the best Gemma Collins impression ever and she does like because I think everyone thinks they could do that but like hers is like bang on and she does like Gemma Collins if she was in Wicked she goes oh my god that's not a good one she does it really well yeah check it out platforming I'm coming what else is on your TikTok feed how much what's your screen time looking like oh it's so bad it's so bad like worse than you can imagine like it's so bad like and sometimes I'm like how do you ever get that when you're like genuinely like if my screen time is like eight hours like I just can't accept that there could be eight hours of an entire day that I've been on that can't be true there's no way I'm in denial how does that happen and then it just does what is your due are you good I bet you no no no I'm like six or seven what is she for six seven that never came six seven that never came up on my for you page ever me neither like I Unfortunately, it has come up of mine.

48:35There's been a couple. There was one where they made the teacher say 6-7 and everyone lost it. I actually made my mum do it. We went home and she said 6 or 7. I said, what? She said 6-7. I went, eh, and no one in the car left. But I don't know what I am not. I'm not getting into the deep dive of what 6-7 means. It's like basketball, isn't it? It was. I think it basically just means like it's okay. It's like it's 6 or 7. Like it's good. Really? You just made that up. You made that up. I think you made that up. No, a kid did do it at a basketball game and that's how it became famous. And we're all just waiting for our 6-7 moment.

49:10Yeah. I loved Come See Come Sa back in the day. Come See Come Sa back in the day. Come See Come Sa back in the day. Wait, Bof. Can you remember Bof? Oh, I was just about to say Bof. Honestly, Bof. I loved that so much. So fierce. Bof was so good. So good. Do you know what was so good about it? It was really accessible. It was like, you can just say Bof when you don't know what to say. Yeah. Bof. How did you do with French in school? awful i did german and i got a d because i thought everyone else was messing around but actually everyone was concentrating so i was like everyone was actually doing the work and got a's i thought i was good at french like i was like because both my brothers are like are really good at it and one of my brothers lived in france and like speaks it fluently so i just assumed like oh that's in me like it's genetic not how it worked yeah um and i was like doing like i don't know what you're equivalent like a levels i guess yeah yeah it's higher it's called in scott it's like higher french and then i was like i've got this like i don't really need to study because i just get the vibe and like i think because i listen to like french music sometimes i'll be like i get i know i get it like i don't really need to study and then i got a d but we do i don't know if you do this thing we do a thing in scotland sometimes where like before the year ends like in june the last month of the school year you go you start the timetable for the thing you're going to be school so and like so i'd started doing it and then like in the summer your results come in i got a d and i was like okay how did that happen and then something jepic happened which was that my dad died and they let me reset it and i got a c and i'm not joking my teacher was so nice like she was sitting in front of me i was doing like the speaking exam where and she was going like she was basically trying to give me that she was like she's like just and she went she'd like pause the little recording and be like do you want to try that again and I still got a C no French for me all I had was pronunciation and anything why is everything why is everything gendered yeah honestly but that's like every language except for us it's insane because we were just so woke and ahead of the game yeah because we're trans that's true British culture yeah take that accepting everyone way ahead of the time I used to go I used to go to German revision lessons and instead she knew that I was like the only gay kid in the year so we used to it was around the time remember like cucumber and banana oh yeah yeah was it Russell T Davies yeah that edgy for him on it literally very edgy but like it was playing and so say that came on a Wednesday we'd do rehearsal like not rehearsal but revision on Thursday so we just kiki about that because she was like she was like I know you're a queen I was like so he's just like fag out for an hour and that's why I failed how old is she she was like 50 damn wait you and the teacher yeah me and the teacher I used to go for a business session though because I was so bad and we'd just queen out of a gay shit instead and then go home so like how funny it's been like if you watch Cucumber Banana what was that one Tofu yeah Tofu I got the D suck but I got the D myth I loved that that was really good I loved it in the end where they like crazy spoiler formative queer heroes someone's literally just started that series and you fucking spoiled it in the end where it's like boom yeah crazy I love it so much wait so what age are you I'm 26 26 okay I'm 29 so but we were still well I must not have been in school when it came out then oh who knows yeah college higher well done right so I mean this has been just like flowing ahead but the reason we did invite you on today Paul was to talk about the lowest points of our year oh fuck I forgot about that I'm going off the dome I didn't plan anything and we all hung over we did go out last night Well I'd very conveniently listened to your Roundup of 2024 This morning I actually know what you've done on that More than you do probably You've had your worst fashion moment Worst styling moment of the year And then you've had You had Yeah I think you had Your lowest moment What was the one?

53:14Easy Targets That was good We're doing a revision of the year before You picked Charlie and Joni Mitchell yeah I mean yeah she walked into that one and do you know what let's just hope like I really don't want to say this because if it happens like I'll feel responsible I will like go there in my mind and feel responsible but I think 2026 we're losing Joni we're losing Joni she's going on the other side should we play Death Bingo okay yeah yeah Joni 100 % Joni's gone I don't want it to be true but it is in practice currently it will be two more albums yeah well she's got out and drawn now and as I said earlier he's got about two more years no I know Kanye I reckon's up in the air Big John oh yeah I reckon loads of people are going to die around the P Diddy thing I reckon 50 Cent's got a target on her back now sorry 50 Cent is the definition of being a lifelong hater it's so iconic literally so good he's so committed to the bit with hating P Diddy and how good must it feel to have hated someone forever and then this happened yeah have you watched any of it no I haven't yet apparently it's fucked.

54:19It's fucked. I believe it. Like, it's like, oh God, there's like CCTV footage of like, oh. And look, I was always rooting for Cassie like way back when. Cassie was another one I had like singles that no one knew. I was a big Cassie fan. A Cassinator. Yeah. Well, I was going to ask you, a question I had for you guys was do you have fan names and if not, like, let's workshop. I actually do for people that like my music, they're called The Thinkers because we were like ripping off twigs. Of course, yeah. Where are they? Where are the thinkers? And we found them Would you do, I don't know, something that plays on your name Sue Have you got something?

54:56No, not for, wait for me or for you? No, for Sue, I thought you were like No, no, I'm like, I've actually been making notes My fan name Would be the pollinators Which is so good if you think about it Because it's like adenators But it's also pollinators Like bees Double entendre Double entendre Oh buff There it is buff That's good sorry to say And I don't like to ever Toot my own horn But I'm doing it there No that's sick Pollinator Pollinators What are yours Louis What for For Louis Bluey Or for multi-screen The multi-screen Still doesn't have one But I'm guessing It'll be the screeners So the screeners Yeah yeah Sewer rats

55:43I was just going to do sewer And I was like That doesn't work They need to be some The sewer rats yeah yeah that's actually very like cash like yeah we are here we are for straight diva we I mean I've casually referred to them as just the divas oh that word the divas but but it's a bit overdone I would know something like it doesn't scream exactly just you again yeah yeah yeah so right exactly SEO isn't great yeah yes so we could just go the straight yeah just J the space yeah but again straight Diva is like that's another double Su's really good at names Honestly I was quite proud of that one Straight up Diva Wow and you know what sometimes all you need is a title because I write things all the time and I'm like I just don't know what that is but it's got a good title so that's good that's good enough Maybe you can work shopping at the end we can go back I'm controlling the podcast I'm the captain now.

56:47If you've got any more questions, keep them coming. But I was going to ask you like something that I noticed that's different between me and Sue is that Sue is like. On estrogen. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Sue is really good. Sue is best and her funniest when she is not rehearsed. Yeah. Unprompted and improvising. You literally said that in the episode that I listed. Really? I said that that early on. The actual exact thing because you were talking about you's like posting on tiktok and you were saying i'm just posting every day and you're like i'm more of a thread i sound like i'm like stock everywhere just said no this is interesting i can't believe i got it that early on but it's definitely true like with the podcast i think that's always the best but yeah what are you like do you i think so i don't really post like i probably post on tiktok like five times in the last this year like i really i gave it up because i feel like doing like see at the start like i i started posing things in like 2017 on twitter and that kind of start like got me a bit of a fall and then i and start 2020 did tech talk and like i just did it like fuck like i was like every day like and like sketches like mostly like written sketches not just like um talking to the camera videos yeah i did that for like two years almost and like that really helped me afterwards i was like well now i'm doing stand-up and if i'm writing and TV stuff like you want your best stuff to be for that and it's kind of like oh I don't really know what to do and then in that time like fucking everybody I'm not saying I was the first person on TikTok but in Scotland there was probably about 10 people yeah yeah I know for sure and now it's like every single person in the world so and see when I see a video and it's like just post the thing just start posting online because I'm like report abuse we've got enough get rid of the office get rid of the office no I think I became I became disillusioned with TikTok anyone said that in the pod no i think we've spoken about maybe i don't know if we've spoken about it on the podcast but like how i remember you saying to me quite a long time ago now you're like oh i'm not posting enough podcast uh not posting enough on tiktok i was like you know if we've got the podcast we don't need to like yeah that's kind of was the thing for me because i'm like okay that's regular it keeps your face around and it's also like the thing with straight diva that we've been able to rely on this year it's like yeah we like you're on my feed it's like oh i know it's through right and it's interesting because i've we've been we've been mutuals yeah for literally years like we on tiktok but like i've seen like so much of this podcast like almost instantly since it when you started releasing it so it really did it cut through yeah and when you make cut through the culture but when you make like a silly tiktok video it does have a good chance of doing well but like in terms of like i think like having oh sophie's at the door having like a lasting memory on someone like not to not to toot the podcast too much but it clearly people can associate you to something yeah it's not just like you're someone coming up on their feed for like 10 seconds yeah even though it is that it also sounds a bit better because see like see in like I've in Glasgow like people often like recognise me but don't know my name and it's so funny because they'll be like you know that cunt for TikTok yeah yeah I'm like yeah yes I am I'm actually a writer yeah I am it's tv and i have a podcast yeah i've been doing this for seven years but i it's like a pure like if people can recognize you of something else that's not just just like this is talking to cameras yeah yeah then you're also musicians so like it's like it all complements each other the ecosystem yeah yeah and that's okay yeah were you ever like uh were you ever a viner Are you big on Twitter?

1:00:24Twitter was the thing for me I was just loving that I loved that shit I miss Twitter so much Did you leave my profile? It's really weird My profile's still there but you can't see on it And I can't log in I deleted mine and it actually felt like Such a moment because I was like Oh my god See when I send If I'm trying to If I'm trying to get a new agent Marvel Television's Wonder Man. An eight-episode series. Now streaming on Disney+. A superhero remake. Not exactly what we'd expect from an Oscar-winning director. Action! Simon Williams auditioned for Wonder Man. I'm gonna need you to sign this.

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1:01:51Who are you with? Who are you with? Yeah, good thinking, good thinking. Let me do things. Just taking note of the time. And also, when I said the blacks. Yeah, that's getting out. That was about ten minutes ago. I always do this. With that, I'm going, man, what can I do? I just went, no. No. we'll cut it we'll cut it right okay let's pick this one yeah what the fuck we were talking about oh yeah if I'm ever like emailing someone and I'm like oh these are like if you're trying to get a job for something whatever stats are really good I've been like I have this many likes and views and followers whatever on my comedy content or whatever and I always would like lump all the followers together from TikTok Instagram and Twitter and when I deleted Twitter I was like just fucking lost like 80k off of that I'm still keeping it in yeah yeah yeah they're not gonna fucking check you earned that yeah exactly and then I deleted it and I was like oh there's so much history there yeah I think that's the thing that bothers me but then I'm kind of glad because half of my tweets are like why does Ed Sheeran get a pass of just wearing jeans on it from when I was a horrible like Twitter gay trying to defend like Beyonce who was your diva like do you know what mine is really nice she's actually a lesbian from around here but do you know can you remember Chloe Howell shut the fuck up fuck you no strings

1:03:19basically i was obsessed with her when i was 14 i'm obsessed i was like i was like i was like i was obsessed her she lives on here is a lesbian lesbian and that's okay um but she is a legend but like i can't we have mutual friends now yeah um but we can't be friends because i was i was weird yeah and how do you like that's the thing like see as soon as you start like being around people that you like were like you were like in a different yeah that like it's weird because you go how do i be like one normal about this not even even if it's not something you're like an insane fan of it's just like knowing things about and it's like people like you also have the same and like people know things like kind of about your life because you talk about the podcast or whatever and then like when they meet you they'll like reference it yeah like i remember someone coming up to my dog dead dog god i said so in the park and being like oh my god i'd say her name straight way and i was like oh yeah yeah what the fuck freaking bear but like things like that like it's hard not to like sometimes i'll meet someone i'll be like how do i approach you and not be a psychopath because i actually do know this this and this without you because you're famous but this is the thing honestly i literally used to go to a show i was at the front and i was at an awkward like 14 15 year old just stood with the camera like this like fucking weirdo and then she had a go at me on twitter once do you know what that's when you that was when I gave up so I gave up no she had a go at me because fine let's wake it up listen I knew a song I sang a lyric of a song yeah exactly we love you we love you but basically the whole thing was I said I said to her she was like what song shall I buy next and I said to her her first original song that came out on SoundCloud I was like she should re-release that babe like being kind because it's one of the best songs ever and then she came back to me and she was like wow do you not believe on women like getting better in there like art and craft stuff like this and everyone was like I was like I'm I try not like I was like what by the time I was at a 16 year old like closet going like okay so they're like wow this is where I was probably like 18, 19 at this time so I was like I'm a bit too old for doing this so I just sat and followed and like she unfollowed me and everything kind of thing and she recently followed me last year because of like socials and she was very kind yeah because the worst bit well it's not worst I need to shut up because people will but I love her I love her from afar I love her from afar and we have mutual friends now so let's work it out in the remix come on if you want to come on babe and try it out but it's like you know when Charlie would like she like on number one Angel she put like Uffy on it and it was like Uffy was like her like you can see so often like the correlation between their music like Uffy was obviously like her number one and she was like I'm replicating this and then she's on her LP like it can it's sick I love her and I work with she actually didn't mess with me because I started working with the producer who's her ex-boyfriend and she was like, not my ex-boyfriend.