The anxiety of making new friends as an adult

0:08This episode of Stylish is brought to you by JD Sports. inspired by the iconic running silhouettes of the 2000s, the Addy Star Control 5 is made for comfy weekends. This is Stylish, the podcast for all things fashion, lifestyle, brand and beauty. My name is Madison Sullivan-Thaw. My co-hosts today are Joanna Fleming and Annika Joshi-Smith. And today... I'm wiping my tears away. That was deep. Today is our final episode as the throuple, the trio. The trio. Only temporarily. And hopefully love. Well, I'm getting there. Yeah. Annika is going on maternity leave to have her beautiful baby girl and we are so excited for this chapter for you.

0:53I think we've known you for nearly two years now. I'm getting emotional. Great. And you are someone who loves so deeply and so hard and you have such a natural maternal instinct. I think you are going to absolutely thrive and be in your element as a mama seater. Oh my gosh, guys. We're really excited for you and we can't wait to meet her and I cannot wait to drape a little red sweater over her shoulder. She can't wait. She honestly, like all of her little outfits, her wardrobe is just coming together so perfectly. Better than ours. I cannot wait. Already. She's literally going to be my little dolly.

1:27Every day she's going to have like a new look, a new thing. We'll have like a new mood. Do you think we have mums listening that are like, I can't wait to hear from her when that baby's like four months old and you're like, she's in whatever Bond's onesie I could find. I know. She'll literally be in like Joe's house clothes. And she'll have her good clothes. She'll have her little dressing gown. Every day I'll be like, it's the same little onesie. I don't care anymore. I'm doing the red sweater. You have to do a little rope. Oh, 100%. She needs a rope. I'm going to actually make one for her. She actually doesn't have one.

1:53So that would be like the perfect gift. Leave it to me. I can't wait though, you guys. Honestly, I just am going to miss you both so much. But you're going to be seeing me a lot. You'll be seeing her a lot. And I just can't wait for this next chapter. Are you feeling good? I am. I mean, look, I'm very, very just heavy at the moment. Everything hurts. Everything aches. She's dropped. So she is in position. She's like, it's actually so true what they say when you do drop because you feel like you can exhale. But then it just gets very heavy down in this region. So she could come right here right now.

2:28Who knows? Maybe we'll deliver a baby in the studio. I'm ready. I know. Jo would actually, like, I would actually consider you quite a good birthing partner. My mom's a midwife. My mother-in-law's a midwife. How did I not know this? Yeah, I'm good to go. I know nothing about it, but I back myself. I'm really good administratively, so I would back me to stay calm and call the ambulance. Yeah. I don't think that I'm the girl for the end cap. I don't know if I would say that you'd be staying calm. When we were running late for Jo's wedding, it was just like bloody mission impossible. You were so stressed.

2:54We were going to be 20 minutes late and the invite very clearly stated sharp. This one's like, I'm just going to go to Woolies, get some snacks. And I was like, hey, well aware it's 2, not 2.30, right? I know. I may have got injuries in the car park. I may or may not have. Half of Jo's wedding guests definitely saw Annika's nipples. Yeah, they got way more action than they bargained for. Anyway. We know that this is an audio product and you have no idea what we look like. Sometimes people will turn around to me in a coffee shop and be like, are you on a podcast? I'm like, yeah. And they're like, weird.

3:24I never knew what you looked like. I was like, there you go. But we do have some little proppies in the studio. Annika is in a rather divine pale pink mum-to-be sash. I think it's probably the only time she's worn pale pink since she was six. I look stunning. Thank you, producer Kate. She really dicked me out today. And I also have my beautiful balloon behind me, which you can or cannot see. And I have a nice glass of non-alcoholic praseca. Now, you're probably sitting at home listening to this if you are a regular listener going, oh my goodness, what am I going to do without my favourite Kiwi accent?

3:54Well, rest assured, we have a very familiar face filling in on our Wednesday episodes. We have our Friday co-host and chief commercial officer of Shameless Media. Recent promotion. Well done, Rih. Go Rih. Rihanna Joyce. We are going to be mixing things up on our Friday episodes a little bit. Our Friday fortnightly episodes are going to have some rotating. So Rhea and I will be stepping on and off for certain episodes. We have our amazing head of socials, Naima Fatima, who is coming on for a couple of episodes, and Priya McPherson, who's also joining us, who is a Melbourne brand founder here. So a little bit of change on the Friday episodes, a familiar face coming in.

4:30I mean, she's usually sat in your chair, Rhea, when you've been globetrotting. So hopefully you guys will enjoy having Rhi. We'll no doubt miss you, Annika, and we cannot wait until you're back. And selfishly can't wait, Mike, regardless from when we come over for cuddles. I know. We'll bring our new little May into the studio as well. I honestly think, like, every time I'm here, she just is, like, she's either, like, actively, like, moving, because I think she's, like, getting amongst the cackles, or she's just, like, calm and chill. So, like, she's just kind of, like, going to know you guys.

4:58You might be her little soothing buddies. I mean, between us and the Sage girl, she's probably heard a lot of our voices. She is like the secret keeper. Yeah, she already knows what's up. She's like, especially from that annoying five foot three brunette. She knows your deepest, darkest secrets. She's like, we get it. Your love life's dry. Jo, what have you got for us? All right. Well, today we are going to be sharing our go-to work bags, something that's been highly requested in our DMs. And then we're answering an opinions, please, about building closer friendships as an adult. But first, what are we swapping in?

5:29Annika, it's your last in-person one, but you are going to be joining us kind of virtually from afar. I am. I honestly think this one is quite funny. Like, I just wanted to bring some humor, some lighthearted humor to one of my last swap-ins. Because you don't usually. I know. I'm actually quite the joke book, I must say. Don't you think? That was the whole point of my sarcasm today. But Angelica Hicks, have you guys seen her on Instagram? I don't think so. Oh, my goodness. You need to give her a follow. So she kind of recreates like infamous and really famous viral looks of the moment. So like you'll see like a beautiful Scapa Rowley dress on the red carpet, like on Kendall Jenner.

6:08And she will go and recreate the look at home in real time using like household items. So it could be like, you know, that beautiful dress that was like quite sculptural and like an hourglass, but then it had like a hip accent. So she'll like put pantyhose over her body. She'll shove like big pillows under there, make herself into like a little diaper. and then she always has like chocolates on hand. Like there's something about her I just gravitate towards. What do you mean she has chocolates on hand? Always has chocolates. Ferreira Rocher's and just like little bits and pieces. She'll undo Ferreira Rocher, eat it, and then put the gold as her necklace, like from the case.

6:42She's hilarious. She kind of reminds me of Solis Barber. Okay, who we love, homegrown talent. So I think she just pokes fun at the fashion industry. She doesn't take herself too seriously. She's one of those like good time girls. Like she would be the type of girl you would love to have a drink with. You're looking at me. Yeah, I'm looking at you. Okay, yeah, great. Thank you. So mine is also an Instagram account and it is at brand blueprint. Now, this is just for my marketing girlies. If you love because of marketing, basically all the Instagram, if you've loved any Instagram account that I've swapped in to this point, you'll love this one.

7:13Yeah. It's more of the same. Lots of green screen. Lots of like, huh, how fascinating. Does a lot on like how great rebrands have worked or why a brand trip is landing or not landing. I just love her. It's super digestible. It's snackable. I love the phrase snackable content. I can't remember where I heard it. It was in a meeting room with someone. But it's like my favorite thing. It's like that content that you can just have like a little bicky. It's like bite-sized baby. Yeah, bite-sized baby. I just love it. And then the other thing I want to swap in is just because it's so cute and because you're having a little girl, I just think that maybe I can have another one.

7:46Amina Mawadi have the cutest campaign right now. And ironically, I saw it on Because of Marketing. And Annika and I saw it together. they've just encapsulated that perfect moment that every little girl will remember trying on your mum's heels at some point. And so their whole campaign video is just little girls tottering around in a mean and whitey shoes, kind of replaying those moments where they're like giggling and just that pure start of life joy of just like nothing's, you know, too serious. You probably got a boo-boo on your knee and the biggest, funnest thing to do is play in your mum's high heels.

8:18And I love that campaign. And like bring back nostalgia that doesn't have to be like 90s based that can be just like nostalgia of your life that everyone lives that little point do you want to know something funny that's actually just triggered like a memory in my mind when I was little my mum reckons the reason I have bunions is because I went through this phase right do you remember those little plastic high heel shoes in your dresser box clip clops did you call them clip clops I don't know what we called them probably princess lepers because I'm a princess but anyway of course but my mum said I would not leave the house without those shoes on like any outfit going to school whatever my feet like we all saw the diva pick the diva had those shoes on yeah and she was so ready but mum's like that's why you've got bunions I was like well what about you you've got them too doll I grew up in country Victoria can you imagine me at the supermarket in those because I love those I ate shit one time in those so badly mum's like we never let you wear them again like mum's like you on a tile in those was a hazard I mean me in a heel now not a hazard my swap this week is some Aussie brands that are worth browsing at the moment.

9:19And I was kind of brought to bring this up because I saw Michelle Andrews wearing a very cool matching set from Jag last week on, or made up in the week before on Shameless Socials and I think maybe Stylish Socials as well. And it was a little stripy like denim set from Jag, which I loved. And I actually have a few pieces from Jag and I think they do some good stuff. Like, especially if you work in a corporate setting and you need corporate appropriate stuff or you just want casual stuff to wear on the weekends when you're just kind of like coming around and you know taking kids to school sport and things like that where you don't necessarily want to put your active wear on but you want to be comfortable and casual.

9:57Yeah. I also bought recently from Ducuba randomly. I've literally never shopped at Ducuba but I bought a cropped trench from there for a trip that I'm about to go on and I just needed something like mid-weight. Not a full coat because it's going to be kind of spring, but it will still be fresh. So I bought that for myself. Really love it. It's got a nice final neck on it and it's like a thorny kind of color, but I do think it comes in a green and a dark brown. I actually didn't know it came in the dark brown at the time, but I probably would, as we know, I would probably would have bought that color.

10:27But I think. We're nearing after pay sales. Your time is near. I might just get a second one. And the third brand was Seed. And the reason that I bring this up is because you're wearing your sculptural wedge today. My Deering Sculptural. They have some points with a sculptural, like almost a cutout from the back of them. Do you know what I mean? A bit like those ones where it's just kind of like hollow at the back. Yeah, chic. Yeah, so they've released some points in a red, which I have, and then also another like fawny colour, which I feel like are a little bit more versatile. Yeah, versatile is probably the right word.

10:58But I'm obviously in my red era at the moment, so I've got the red ones. I'm so here for it. And I want to add to this. So, you know, your trench, your crop trench, you were just speaking about, all the rave you guys coming up. Like everyone is now kind of changing their links from being, we've done like the maxi trenches. We're doing things in a reimagined way. And a crop trench that can cinch and kind of has that soft peplum like we spoke about last year. Bring her in, give her a little bit of shape, but playing with proportions. Okay, so Arnica said I'm cool. You're so cool. I can die happy.

11:30And I had my little crop henny trench on last week. I know, you look divine. I saw that. Do you know what? I almost wore mine today. It's a bit hot. Guys, I walked in in like a full fit. And yeah, we've just had to remove some layers. Remove some clothing. Ducuba's CEO, Audrey, is a legend from all accounts. Miranda was at an event of theirs recently. And apparently she is just the coolest person in the whole world. And fun fact, I hosted a charity event last Sunday. Audrey was on the panel. I messaged her cold LinkedIn message. I was like, hey, any chance? It's a long weekend. It's a Sunday morning.

12:02People have lives. She replied in like 10 minutes and was like, girl, I'm there. Count me in. Oh, okay. Do you know what? Nothing has made me want to go and shop out to Cuba more than that. Well, there you go. Much like our plain white tanks and pinky nude lipsticks, you can never have too many pairs of sneakers. Even if they look similar to the untrained eye, we know they're all completely unique, from their comfort levels to their slightly different colourways. Sneakers are just one of those things. You can never have too many. That's what we thought when we spotted the new Addy Star Control 5 from JD Sports.

12:35Even if you think your sneaker collection is done, these are a whole new vibe. Paying tribute to the iconic running silhouettes of the 2000s, they blend today's Y2K trend with function and comfort. Trust me when I say these are one comfortable shoe. Constructed with elastic Ediprene technology, it's basically like walking on clouds. Style-wise, they're throwing it back to the early noughties with the iconic open mesh upper and Y2K-inspired silver metallic details. We're obsessed. You'll be reaching for the Adistar Control 5 every weekend. Find them in-store and online at JD Sports. And thank you so much to JD Sports for making this episode of Stylish possible.

13:14Okay, so welcome to our styling suite. We've noticed some DMs from listeners around work bags recently. And this is one of the call-outs that we got from a listener saying desperately, I need your advice. I can't find a work bag that fits everything I need and looks cute. Girl, me too. because finding a work bag that you like aesthetically that also can fit everything you need on a day-to-day basis isn't always easy. So we're going to share our favourites with you today. Okay, girls, tell me your work bag. One is from Naked Vice. It's the Tilda. It's a black leather tote. You want to know how you know a work bag's good?

13:49It can hold two laptops. I feel like a corporate equivalent of like a guy on Wall Street with like his Blackberry and his iPhone when I have two laptops, but I generally have them both with me at all times. I can carry two laptops. I've got notebooks in there. I've got pen. I've got paper. I've got 47 lip glosses. That's great. And the other brand that I love, I have two bags from them that I've used for work, is Vestirzi, which is, they're all Aussie brands. Yeah. We love the Aussies. Oroton as well. Let's cover off what goes in the work bag. You've said two laptops. I don't personally leave the house often to go to work.

14:24Like I come here to the studio and that is my only time where I'm leaving the house. I love when you bring like a little tiny bag too. Yeah, yeah. I always just have like a little tiny bag because my laptop's at home. I don't need it. I'm like, it must be nice. So for most people, we need to fit one laptop because most of us are not carrying around two. Your lunch, your miscellaneous accessories, like your sunglasses, maybe a little makeup bag, a few lip products, potentially hand cream, Sometimes maybe gym clothes. If you're going to or from the gym or Pilates before or after work, you might carry those things as well.

14:58So you need obviously space in a work bag. So that's really the criteria that we're trying to hit in this segment. Do you know what I think as well is the criteria? As I said, sometimes a base is good. So there's like a structure to the bag that it's not just like a big sack. So I think things kind of all just like gravitate to the bottom and the middle and then you're like just rummaging through until you hear the tinkering sound of your keys and you're like bingo. but when you're on the porch at like eight o 'clock at night and maybe the light hasn't turned on or someone isn't in there to turn it on for you it's like so I think a base is sometimes helpful or a structure to the bag that at least emulates a base also thicker handles like I think if you're someone who is sorry Jo to leave you out of this one but Annika we are both carrying a laptop yeah maybe a physical diary or a you know leather book or something like you want a thicker strap because if you're walking from like the train station or from the car park and it's like a bit of a hike.

15:49A thin strap, one, you're at risk of it snapping if everything's too heavy. Or two, it's just painful on your shoulder. It's true. It's so true. I actually have a pet peeve when it comes to finding work bags. I don't know what it is. And you guys need to tell me if you've actually found a bag or if your bag does have this. But so many work bags do not have zippers. Yeah. Have you noticed? July do bags with a zipper and I think so. But she's a travel bag. Yes, but she works as a work bag. This is going to be my recommendation. Okay. July Juliet. I have this bag as well. You have it? She's my travel bag.

16:23I'm going to just be the disclosure police here that we all got gifted one of those bags. We did. Yes, we do have that bag. I find it too big for my day-to-day for work. Oh, okay. Like, she's just that bit too big for me. And so when it comes to, like, my requirements for work, has to be sturdy. Like, I have tried in the past having canvas bags and different textures, like even a suede. but because of how much I travel I want that bag to be durable enough that it can go under a seat on top of the overhead. It can literally, if I spill my water bottle, which happens all the freaking time, more my lunch spills, bane of my existence.

16:58It's disgusting. Disgusting. Have you ever had a Yopo go in there? Because let me tell you, girl, never been more grateful to have a leather rather than a fabric work bag when the yogi's gone and just had a dance party on the base. It's not cute. It's not cute. It does. But I literally just find, like, I love your point as well about the handles because having a top handle as well, I think, is really important, especially when you're on the go. And the size for me is just, it's crazy. I actually toggle between a few bags and I'm in the market for a new bag at the moment. And I've got a few recommendations.

17:32A baby bag? Well, that's what I would like it to double as. So now I'm kind of thinking about textures again and then compartments. so compartments is something I find also that I kind of struggle with when it comes to looking for a perfect work bag because you want it to fit your laptop you want to make sure you've got like zip ups for any kind of like wallets keys all those important things but then sometimes they're not like the most practical size yeah it's really maybe I should start a bag brand I mean I feel like we've just witnessed a light bulb moment might I also suggest there are like little compartment things that you can buy to insert in your bag, like bag inserts.

18:08Yes, but if your bag doesn't have a zipper and they fall out, then you're fucked. Yeah, okay, so your hands why you need the zipper. Do you know who else have really good work bags? I'm like going to lean on a viral TikTok here or a viral TikTok trend. Target, we're doing like 100 % suede bags and I think they were like$90 or$100. Yes, that's great. I mean, I'm not saying that's cheap for a bag, but it's cheap for 100 % suede bags. I don't think they have a zip on them though. No, I'm not solving your zip crisis there. It was just a light bulb moment for those who don't feel as passionate about zips as you do.

18:35I put it in my group chat and asked a few of my friends what they use just so that we could get more feedback. For those who don't work in a dressing gown. Yeah, exactly. Because I just felt in-equipped to answer that question. So one of my friends uses the Tony Bianco Zulu tote bag, which is like a woven faux leather bag. I don't believe that has a zip on it. Another friend uses the Country Road Hobo Shopper, which she said we're better for public transport because it's a little bit more secure. It's not as open to the public. And my sister-in-law has the Age Untold Landscape Tote, which she said she likes because it looks a little bit more like classic and like a proper handbag, not a work bag.

19:13It just looks a bit more put together. Okay. I feel like they're all coming to me now. Camilla and Mark also do some great tote work bags. Yes. Preen as well. Yeah. Preen is good. Preen is so good because it is washable. And I feel like they really devil into the trends as well. Like, you know how you've got that really beautiful St. Agney woven style? Prane have done that as well. One bag that I'm actually using at the moment is Alio, and it is very similar to that woven trend we're seeing as well. But I think you'd like this one, Mads, because it's deep enough that it has got like a really good structured base, and it's actually kind of my Mary Poppins bag.

19:48Like, there is so much in that bag. But again, doesn't have the zipper closure, so I'm constantly like worried if I travel with it. Okay, so I like a base and a thick handle. You like a zipper. And you like staying home. I was trying to find an inclusive segment. I was going to say cute little bags of any size. Yes. Rapid fire. What is always in our work bags? Jo, not to leave you out, but I think Annika will go first with you. Okay. Top five, Rudy. Yeah. Road lip balms, Panadol, Hydroli. I don't go anywhere without it. Hydromama. Hydromama. And I've actually been cheating on Hydromama with two islands as well.

20:26I know. It's so good, you guys. Earpods. And canned tuna. Oh. So rogue. Character arc. Yeah. What I used to take to the office in my bag, Eclipse mints. Yep. Hand sanitizer. Yep. Spare panty liner. Oh. Yep. You just never know when you're going to need it. Character arc. Yep. And what else? Lip products, like 10 lip liners. You just never know. Yeah. You? I'm going to do what you did because I liked that. Lip products, I'm just going to put into one. But no, there's about 27 floating in there. Soty. I've always got a Soty. I have one every day. I always have Dettol. I always have my headphones.

21:05I don't want to use my AirPods anymore. I'm sick of trying to look for them. I'm sick of having to use the Find My feature. I've gone back to wire headphones. I love them. I love everything about them. That's trending. What else do I always have? Tampons. I always have tampons. I actually don't get my period probably all that much to warrant as many as I have, but I am always the girl you want in the office when someone's like, who's got tampons? Band-Aids is another one for me. Yes. I reckon you're missing something. Your pack and go toothbrushes. Yes. Oh, my God. Yeah, I mean, I've got a makeup bag.

21:35I've got my mini toothbrushes. I've got a phone charger. I've got another cord if someone needs a USB, USC. I've usually got product samples from, like, you want, you told me five. It's no secret we're major skincare enthusiasts here at Stylish, and we love sharing new products on our radar. At the top of our wish list right now is the Medicaid Niacinamide Peptide Serum. It makes some big claims, but it's got receipts to back it up. Thanks to an ultra gentle but highly potent ingredient complex, this multi-benefit serum is proven to target pores, congestion, redness and excess oil, delivering a visible glass-like glow.

22:08Upgrade your routines, Medicaid, starting with the new niacinamide peptides. A huge thank you to Medicaid for making this episode of Stylish possible. All right, it's time for Opinions Please, which is where we talk about our listeners' problems and we try and solve them for them. And today's Opinions Please came in from listener Lily. Hi Mads, Joe and Arnica. Coming to you with a dilemma I find pretty embarrassing. I'm 28 and I have barely any close friendships. Aside from my siblings, cousins and maybe two high school friends, I don't really have any friends. I've always been a little bit shy and my family moved around a lot when I was younger so I didn't really get much of a chance to develop these lifelong friendships lots of people make when they're younger.

22:47I thought things would get better during university but I lived at home while studying and found it really hard to turn a polite chat in a lecture or tutorial into a full-blown friendship. I now have people at work I'm friendly with, but they've never asked to hang out outside of work. And I feel like I don't know how to deepen friendships as an adult. I feel like I've missed out on so much already by not having any old friendships. And I don't want to let the fear of rejection stop me from trying to make friends in my late twenties. You all seem to have such solid groups of girlfriends, and I really admire how you speak about your friends on the show.